OK, I'm guilty of being preoccupied with my career and my car...sorry. I HAVE been missing being crazy creative with the Yankees.

Lord knows they can use some humor! (BTW, the photo above is a depiction of E-Stein as a podcaster - I'll add the mp3 file below).

In the meantime, cruise on over to my other blog: http://wiredcu.com (It's mostly about Credit Unions and Social Networking, but I'll photoshop and get funny).

Got lots to write about with the Yankees, so I'm coming back.

P.S. So someone fill me in on what I missed in this space - Is my girl Alyssa still blogging or did she quit yet?

G-

Download Here:

Download E-Stein.mp3

So I am sitting in my office at work last week and I see this email from a co-worker asking if anyone in the office is a Giants fan and WANTS two tickets to a game.

At that point in time, Barry hadn't tied the record and I thought I might get a chance to see him maybe tie the record, so I shot off the quickest email reply ever recorded.

Over the next few days I get news that Barry tied the record and that Monday August 6th he is expected to make the history books - so I shrug it off and think that I'll watch him probably swing for 757, no big deal.

ONLY - Barry didn't hit 756 on the 6th - which meant I had a chance to be present at a historic game.

So...I get the tickets from the co-worker this afternoon and bail out of San Jose at 4:00 p.m. and inch my way through the normal bay area traffic to get at the stadium by 5:30 p.m.

I snapped a few photos in front of the Willie Mays statue - grabbed a dog and a beer and followed my ticket to the club level seat in section 202, row b seat 1 (An awesome seat by the way).

I watched Barry continually get good wood on the ball (ok - this sounded funny) so I suspected something magical.

Sure enough...I witnessed the most awesome swing I have seen in quite awhile (much different from A-Rod - not sure how to really explain it).

The thunderous crack of the bat was soon followed by an eruption of fireworks, cheers, and streaming stuff coming down from the sky.

It was a moment I will never forget....

I saw Barry Bonds tie Babe Ruth's record in Oaktown and now I saw the most awesome moment I can remember in my short baseball fan life.

I'm framing my ticket - it was truly a moment to remember!!!!

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Well...I've been off the map for awhile enjoying my other new favorite past-time...I bought a new ride our friend Alyssa Milano might appreciate. :)

At some point you have to say, "what the %#!@" about the dismal Yankee standings and enjoy life!

G-

The moment the Senators had been waiting for had arrived and it came at the end of practice – they found out when they would be getting uniforms.

“Senators, I have two announcements to make – one, Gilbert here will be our new assistant coach and two, I have some news about your uniforms.”

“The Milpitas Rotary Club has agreed to sponsor us and we will all be meeting after practice on Tuesday next week for pizza at Mountain Mike’s and uniforms.”

“Make sure to write your sizes down on my list and the number you want – there is no guarantee you will get either, so let’s just hope for the best ok!”

Coach Deanda was kidding right? “No guarantees on either,” what in the heck did that mean – “no guarantees on either!”

The Kid took his turn with the clipboard and at first wrote down “size large” and then nervously scratched that out and wrote “x-large” with the number choice of  44 – ala Reggie Jackson.

The Kid needed a ride home and he threw off the rest of the catching gear as fast as he could so he could beg a ride from Steve the Giant and his brother Gilbert.

“Steve, do you think your brother would give me a ride home since I have a little bit of a problem with my bike over there?” The Kid begged.

“HAHAHA,  C’mon, I’m not sure I can even get a ride home with Gilbert.  Grab that end of your bike and I’ll carry the other end and we’ll just put my bike and your piece of crap in there before he notices.”

Gilbert was packing up his aluminum bats and was talking with Coach Deanda as The Giant and The Kid made quick work of shoving the two bikes into the back of the old camper.

There was just enough room in the back for the two bikes and two covert stowaways who happened to stumble upon Gilbert’s latest edition of Lowrider Magazine.

The Giant did the honors of flipping through the pages as the two boys gawked at the huge, ummm…tires, when suddenly they heard the driver side door to the camper creak open.

“Shut Up! The Giant motioned with his mouth and finger as Gilbert climbed into the camper’s driver seat and ripped out of the parking lot in his normal B-A-D A-S-S  M.O. (Modus Orangutan).

The camper drove down the road for about half a mile before The Giant and The Kid couldn’t help but burst out in laughter at a cartoon in the magazine illustrating a  fat Cholo character farting in a swimming pool and claiming the bubbles were from a non-existent Jacuzzi.

SCRRRRRECCCCHHHHH!!! 

1. If you live anywhere near The Bronx, chances are George Steinbrenner owns the deed to your housing development and you’re afraid he will evict you if he catches you wearing a Mets hat.
2. You “blew a hammy” after attempting former Yankees strength and conditioning coach Marty Miller’s eight-minute cha-cha kicks for stress relief and haven’t been able to reach the remote control to turn the channel.
3. You’re waiting for Oscar Goldman to be appointed the Yankees new Director of Performance Enhancement, because he is the most qualified person to “rebuild them.”
4. You’re still delusional that Roger Clemens will suit up for the Yankees – despite the fact that the current legal sports performance enhancements of Viagra, Ensure and Depends will only get him an extra inning or two.
5. You’ve been hanging out with former mini-boss Steve Swindal down at The Big Cypress bingo parlor in Florida -  watching the game on TV, sipping screwdrivers and yelling “Bingo” for no apparent reason.

The door to the beat up camper slammed shut and everyone instantly “made eyeballs” on a fast moving and pissed-off-looking Cholo in a “beanie cap” carrying a couple of aluminum bats over his shoulder.

Steve the Giant instantly began to tremble and it was the first time any of the Senators ever witnessed the menacing 6-footer even so much as flinch.

Gilbert was a B-A-D- A-S-S in every definition of the word.

Rumor had it that he had learned how to drive his dad’s camper at age nine and that by the age of twelve, he had won over thirty some odd after school fights – all of them ending in a bloody mess.

Gilbert was also a track and baseball star athlete with the local high school  - he was lightning fast and could hit just about anything.

Maybe that’s why Steve the Giant trembled.

Gilbert walked straight up to The Giant, who was instantly dwarfed by his six-foot-three older brother.

“Dad and me had another fight and I took off with the camper.  Instead of kicking you’re a-s-s to make me feel better, I decided to take it out on your sorry a-s-s little league team.”

The Senators also had never seen Steve the Giant ever smile – yet The Kid detected a small crease on The Giant’s upper lip that pointed to centerfield.

The Giant walked up to Coach Deanda and told him that Gilbert knew some practice drills the team could practice and before you knew it, The Senators started to resemble a real team.

The Kid would soon learn what the connection between Steve the Giant, his Cholo older brother and The Kid’s baseball glove with his mother’s name etched into it with a soldering iron was.

Finally - the Yankees blew their last "hammy," as strength and conditioning coach Marty Miller hits the "skids."

I guess it wasn't a good idea to have Mariano Rivera doing Yoga and Pilates and maybe it also wasn't such a good idea to have Johnny Damon workout with John Basedow's Fitness Made Simple DVD's.

G-

The Kid got recruited to play catcher because his belayed arrival meant that he got chosen to play the most undesirable position of them all.

“Umm Coach, I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I’m kinda big and I’m not sure I can squat longer than one pitch, so maybe Mike over there is more flexible and all.”

Mike was already comfortable at first base and he shot the Kid a “I’m gonna bean you in the head with the baseball the first chance I get” kinda look.

“Chale (Coach loved to use Mexican-American slang – Chale meant “Hell No!”), I want you to be a big target for Rudy so just try your best ok!”

The Kid’s cup had been destroyed by his mishap with his crash landing and he tried another avenue with the coach to escape “catching duties.”

“Coach, I can’t play today because as you can see, I crashed my bicycle over there and when I crash landed, my cup got messed up, so I can’t play today already.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Coach Deanda reached into his equipment “bag of tricks” and produced the elusive “mythical cup” – and let’s just say that it wasn’t something a bunch of gringo Knights of the Roundtable would traverse the earth to find for King Arthur.

The cup did exist, and it looked like it had been used and abused – the Kid thought that “the cup” might have been passed down through the Deanda generations because the contraption was a mere bunch of plastic shards held vaguely together by a bunch of elastic threads.

“CHALE!!!.” The Kid  repeated to the coach after looking at the coach’s “iron maiden.”

“I’m gonna take my chances with my own cup!”

The group of Senators anxiously waiting for the Kid to suit up in the catchers gear laughed and dubbed the Kid with the moniker “NO CUP.”

The Kid reluctantly suited up with the catcher’s gear and squatted down behind home plate with a big chocolate covered back end, compliments of his crash landing and his smashed package of Rolo’s candies.

You can thank our fellow blogger Chris Los over at The Ultimate Baseball Collector for sparking up some of those old memories into the aging brain cells of this "Big Kid."

Look for the post in a few seconds...

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So the Yankees are at the bottom of the standings in the AL EAST and suddenly all I have been doing lately is cursing in EWOK or is it EWOKANESE!!!

Here -- I'll show you.

Mike Myers - CHUMBA BLANGA PIECE A CHAPA!!!! ( I think you can translate that!)(take that MLBlogs filter - hehehe ).

Try it out - it helps ease the pain of LAST PLACE.

Curse in EWOKANESE and "Touch 'em All!"

G-

SHOW NOTES:

Yankees - Red Sox thoughts
Alyssa Milano Skit

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I am open for suggestions but one thing I HAVE to do again is DA MONSTER series.

If you remember - last year I did a series of Monster-sytle trading card images making fun of the Red Sox - I am thinking of doing likewise with the Yankees.

Let me know,

G-
BTW, I think I'll rock the Specks and Pocket Protector through the weekend.

:)

Happy Birthday MLBlogs!

In honor of the occassion, I decided to do something special with my About Me Profile photo.

To welcome our newest high profile blogger to MLBlogs on this historic milestone - I've decided to embrace my "inner geek."

If you've stumbled across this page and wondering why your boy here is sporting "specks" and a "pocket protector." I invite you to read the outstanding new blog being written by Alyssa Milano.

If you would like to join in on the festivities, shoot me an email with your photo attached and I will hook you up.

G-

Wait a minute - is it just me or is the Alyssa Milano link on the Active Roster pointing to MLBlogosphere!!!! - Mark, you have some "splaining to do!!!!"

It's been about two hours since I've uploaded the darn video - my guess is that because of the sheer magnitude of the file size it needs time to do it's thang.

So go to bed and when you wake up, DA BRONX BOMBERS will have a present for you.

G-

Here is the link to my adventures at the A's - Yankees game on 04-14-07.

Please note that the link will take awhile to be available so keep checking back - it is a large file so be forewarned.

I just posted the embed script at 7:27 p.m. pst. - it will probably take about an hour or so to be available - it's worth the wait.

Let me know what you guys think.

As soon as it uploads it will take awhile for the link to be available (the movie runs about ten minutes - so be forewarned of the file size).

I will have it embedded so you will be able to play and stream it directly.

So check back soon and get a fan's perspective of watching a classic matchup between the A's and Yankees.

G-

Like I said in my last post, as soon as this interview concluded, I found myself surrounded by the Gorilla Security Guards of McAfee Stadium.

Enjoy a audio snapshot of the real fans of the game!

Download Bits N Bites 1 in MP3 format:

Download bits_n_bites.mp3

I managed to bring my Yankees backpack loaded with a high-end digital camera and telephoto lens, a portable digital video camera and my new audio podcast gear.

There was only one pocket left for a single "virgin" baseball and a bic pen - I had to wear my baseball glove all day.

There was of course, no batting practice because of the earlier rain but I must say that the stadium grounds crew did an excellent job with the field becuase it was perfect by game time.

It actually was pretty nice before the game started and until that nasty wind rolled in - many of the A's fans resorted to using the "giveaway" A's dish towel as makeshift wind guards tucked under their hats and over their ears.

I used mine to of course wipe away the "drips" from my nose from that darn wind.

I'll keep this initial post short but let me give you a sneak peek of some of the stuff I have - please know that there is a lot of stuff so it might take a few days to post - it's worth it.

So I got into the game and I immediately brought out the portable audio gear to get some fan interviews and managed to get one very nice piece BUT THEN - the STADIUM POLICE were all over me with questions like:

"Who Are You With?"

"Who Let You In Here With That Stuff?"

"Show Me Your Credentials - And No I Don't Mean Your Ticket, So Put That Away!"

I tapped dance, smiled and lied my **** off.

"Well, I am a podcaster and blogger and I thought I could record bits and bites for a podcast. I'll put my stuff away if you can please not kick me out."

It worked - hehehe...Sure I put it away.

BUT once the game started, I got back to my old tricks while in my seat.

I even managed to get that "virgin" baseball signed by the very gracious MARIANO RIVERA!!!

MO was very nice and signed quite a few autographs for a few Yankees fans and one crazy fan who got help from a very young girl who kindly said to me - "Hand your ball and pen to me - I'll give to him to sign."

I let the ball and pen go and sure enough she handed it to MO and he handed it back to me signed and smiled - I said "Muchos Gracias!"

More Coming...

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The early shower forecast translates into an "early shower" for problem child pitcher Carl Pavano and the slight chance of thunder means I probably won't get to see batting practice - weak!!!!

Well I had tickets to yesterday's game and in retrospect I am glad I did not go - I probably would have lost my voice shouting - "Umm I-Gawwa, Show Us Some Powwer!" or something like that!

Alas, it was not be be - for me or Igawa who puts one in the loss column.

G-

I am now free to wonder and wander away from my computer and still podcast.

More to come until we all hear from Alyssa!!!!

Download Thought of the Moment 2 here:

Download alyssa2.MP3

I would like to dedicate my first piece to MLBlog's new blogger - Alyssa Milano.

ALL IN GOOD FUN!!!

G-

Download MP3 File here:

Download alyssa.MP3

Are you kidding?!!! This same scenario went down last year when I made the pilgrimage from sleepy town Salinas to outrageous Oaktown.

Normally a little rain never hurt anything, BUT, this time I am arming myself with a newly Purrrchassed (yeah baby!) mobile podcast setup.

I am going to attempt to bring my digital video camera into the park with this new digital audio recording setup.

What this means for the few that read this crazy blog - I will be creating a YouTube video podcast to be posted on this blog.

So a little rain never hurt anything right? - Hell to the NAW!!!

Weather permitting I will be up to my usual tricks and a few I haven't tried before, to give you guys my perspective on my annual event.

Please let me know what you would like to see at McAfee Stadium (i.e., Jason Giambi's Nissan Murano "bumble bee car" or the hotdog stand or whatever).

I'll be busy Sunday recovering from my hangover and editing audio and video for sure.

Pray for clear skies!!!

P.S. Alyssa Milano - YOU ARE SO FINE MOMMA!!!!

G-

I am making my pilgrimage to Oaktown this Saturday to watch the Yankees take on the A's.

McAfee Stadium has THE best hotdogs, so I am positive my carbohydrate-starved digestive system will get sick - guess I'll take one for the team.

Last year I followed the Yankees to their hotel at the PARC in S.F. - This year I couldn't find vacancy to save my life - I'll figure something out.

I have field level seats in section 107 row 12 so I anticipate taking a line drive foul ball to the forehead.

Thinking about videotaping some shots for a video podcast - what do you guys think?

You guys are going to hate me but I haven't been able to watch a single Yankee game this season - please somebody fill me on on the story behind Igawa's pitching woes, Johnny Damon's Achy Breaky Calves and Matsui's Crampy Hammies.

I will catch up with some fun stuff - especially some stories when I return from my pilgrimage.

Peace,

G-

This late breaking news from Florida is circulating the Internet and is brought to you exclusively by DA BRONX BOMBERS NEWS.

Larry King is reporting that a person apparently calling himself Howard. K. Pavano and bearing an uncanny resemblance to Howard K. Stern, has added his feather to the Anna Nicole Smith paternity hat.

George Steinbrenner went on record stating that the "Real Carl Pavano was out on his back during the alleged conception time frame" and that "the league has strict penalties on DNA cloning, so if Carl Pavano cloned himself while on the disabled list last year, he's in big trouble mister!"

Experts are debating whether Carl Pavano indeed cloned himself while on the disabled list last year in an attempt to resurrect his meager playing career with the New York Yankees.  Speculation is abound that former BALCO mastermind and mad pseudo-scientist Victor Conte has been implicated in what the press is dubbing "Test Tube Gate."

Apparently the real Howard K. Stern had hired Conte to synthesize his DNA with DNA retrieved from a lipstick sample belonging to the late Anna Nicole Smith, in an attempt to fool the courts into believing that Stern is the father of Smith's baby.

The plan back-fired when Carl Pavano also hired Conte to clone himself and the two test tubes intermingled, resulting in the genetic abomination calling itself Howard K. Pavano.

The clone seems to be pitching better than the "real thing" right now, but the lethal combination of the Stern and Pavano DNA is rapidly mutating, resulting in sudden emotional outbursts on the playing field.

George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman are said to have "the clone" locked up in Johnny Damon's locker and that a definitive DNA test is to be performed soon.

Gotcha!

G-

Carl Pavano made his spring training debut yesterday and the entire Yankees staff and players held their breath.

While Pavano looked good for two innings of injury-free baseball, I'll wager right now that the "air bags" will go out on the 27-year-old crash dummy who hasn't  pitched for over a year and a half!!!

Get it straight quick Pavano!

G-