Check out the MochaManual homepage to see the schedule for future "talk back" performances and a discount code.

Check out the pics (and LaLa's shoes!!)

In case you haven't picked up the Good Book lately that's the scripture that essentially says, spare the rod and spoil the child. Folks like to quote this scripture a lot to justify spanking.

Thankfully, my children respond to other forms of discipline-so far–but I've never ruled out a good spanking from my parenting toolkit. But unfortunately, spanking has been abused and overused and not used properly.

I talked about this recently with America's new SuperNanny, Deborah Tilman. She said that 85% of all Americans spank their kids. So it's not just a black thing.

I told her that when my mother spanked us, she would sit you down explain why you were getting a spanking, she would tell you it was going to hurt her more than it hurt us, and after the spanking she would hug us and tell us that she loved us and explain to us again why we got the spanking.

I get that doesn't happen much anymore and many folks just spank out of anger.  Others overuse Prov. 13:24 to justify spankings.

But here's what Deborah Tilman had to say about Prov. 13:24

"I was an evangelist and when you really look at the Bible and at Prov. 13:24, you see that the rod was used to steer and guide the sheep. The rod was to correct them, not necessarily to beat them. So yes, you better correct them, but over time the bible verse has been misconstrued. Jesus did not go around spanking children. Should we correct them, yes! "

"It also creates a generational curse where people say, "I turned out all right", as if there is a direct correlation between you getting spanked and your turning out all right. You probably turned out all right because back in the day we had a village. If I did something, my neighbors told my mother before I did. We used to work together more. You were your brother's keeper. I would love to see the village mentality return to the African American community."

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love meeting entrepreneurial women who are pursuing their passion. So when I had a chance to talk with an amazing Avon rep who took a $10 investment and turned it into a multi-million dollar business, you can bet your bottom dollar I was all ears. And with pen and paper handy.

 Here's her story:

Donna Reid Mitchell learned to dream big. When she first started her Avon business in 2003, as a new mom looking to earn some pocket change, she only wanted to earn $100.  Now she rakes in over $6 million in sales annually, spanning over 12 states and has a downline of over 3,000 people. “It was the best $10 I ever invested,” she told me.

How did that happen for her?

“When I started dreaming big and wanting bigger goals, that’s when Avon became life changing for me,” Donna says. “Now I tell people don’t be afraid to dream big from the outset.”  

That’s great advice from the former hair stylist who loved her job but hated missing out on weekend activities with her kids’ and weekend family events because she was busy at the salon.  Boy, have things changed for Donna–who is now a single mom of two,  and she now she lives her life based on her own priorities.

“Now I can plan my week or month around my children’s activities. My Avon earnings are secure and I can comfortably take care of my children and my mother,” she recently told me. “I have been able to accomplish a lot materially but being there for the people that matter to me, that is what I call success.”

Amen to that.

In her spare time, Donna works with cancer patients in the U.S. and in Jamaica, givingthem makeovers and advice on repairing and camouflaging the effects of chemotherapy.

 Donna is such a personal and professional success story, she is featured in the new national Avon commercial (CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE)—a gig that finally earned her “cool” status with her 15-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter—you how teens and tweens can be.  

She also keeps the kids involved, making her Avon venture a family venture. Donna says her daughter has great marketing ideas and her son creates all of her PowerPoint presentations for her meetings. “When they know you are working for the good of the household, they want to be involved.”

What are Donna’s other secrets to business success?

1. Be consistent.

2. Develop positive partnerships. “Don’t try to do it on my own. Partner with people who have done it before who can show you the path to success,” Donna says.  

3. Tell yourself that quitting is not an option.

I like that!

In Moterhoood,

Kimberly

FULL DISCLOSURE, FOLKS: I am a paid brand ambassador for AVON. My views are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Avon and its affiliates.

Yesterday was Food Day.

As a mother of two, I’m just loving the food revolution in America—a grassroots effort to make food healthier and more accessible to all. But, I’m concerned that the food system conversation in the U.S. neglects to get to the root of the matter by including the “first food”—breast milk– and fails to emphasize the critical importance of breastfeeding as we try to build a healthier generation of children.

The truth is, no conversation about equitable food systems for all can truly exist without including the first food and understanding how the racial and social inequities around breastfeeding adversely affect vulnerable populations.

If access to healthy food is a basic human right then doesn’t that right start at birth? Shouldn’t our smallest and most vulnerable citizens have fair and just access to the healthiest food for them?

If so, then we need to start asking why more mothers aren’t accessing the first food for longer periods or at all. Consider the facts: Our unimpressive breastfeeding rates across racial lines show the full picture. In the United States, only about 13 percent of babies are exclusively breastfed for six months, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), based in Atlanta. Meanwhile in South Asia, 44 percent of babies are exclusively breastfed for six months, according to UNICEF.

The situation among African American women is even more severe. For the past 30 years, breastfeeding rates among black women, particularly those in underserved, food desert communities, have been significantly lower than all other ethnicities. 

Meanwhile, in the U.S., African American infants are more than twice as likely to die before their first birthday than other infants. In some cities, the stats are even more sobering: Memphis, Tennessee ranks at the top of the list for infant deaths in American cities—where a baby dies every 43 hours.

A recent study [NS1] concluded that increasing breastfeeding rates alone could help close this racial gap across the board.  The many health benefits of breastfeeding, including an improved immune system and fewer ear and respiratory infections would address some of the leading causes of infant death in low-income communities.

For children of all hues, a greater engagement of breastfeeding could lead to a healthier generation of youngsters. After all, several studies, including one by researchers at the University of Copenhagen show that breastfed infants are more likely to try new foods later in life. Because breast milk contains flavors from foods eaten by mothers, breastfed infants are exposed to a variety of tastes early in life. In contrast, artificial baby milk (formula) always tastes the same. These nuances are simple yet powerful steps that can lead to a greater likelihood for more varied and healthier food choices as an older child.

Given these sobering facts, it is hard to argue against the fact that by removing the barriers to access to the first food we can have a tremendous impact on infant nutrition and maternal health. That includes breaking down racial barriers and but also creating an honest conversation about the external forces that influence a woman’s decision to breastfeed or not. And it is equally hard to understand why the so-called food revolution forgets about infants. 

Instead, far too many babies are born into “first food” deserts, communities with limited breastfeeding resources and support.  The reasons why more African American women aren’t relying on the first food for their newborns are a multifaceted mosaic—ripe with political nuances, deep racial undertones, social taboos, and complex cultural subtleties—similar to many other areas of the food systems work.

Some of the barriers may be related to historical trauma. During slavery, slave owners used and purchased black women as wet nurses for their own children, often forcing these mothers to stop nursing their own infants to care for others.

“On the one hand, wet nursing claimed the benefits of breastfeeding for the offspring of white masters while denying or limiting those health advantages to slave infants. On the other hand, wet nursing required slave mothers to transfer to white offspring the nurturing and affection they should have been able to allocate to their own children,” writes historian Wilma A. Dunaway, in the book The African American Family in Slavery and Emancipation.  And since breastfeeding reduces fertility, slave owners forced black women to stop breastfeeding early so that they could continue breeding, often to the health detriment of their own infants, Dunaway writes.

Although African American women had a stunted and complex breastfeeding experience at the hands of slave owners hundreds of years ago, that may still linger culturally today. Perhaps an unconscious legacy of thinking that breastfeeding is something we did for others and not for ourselves.

Then there’s something I call the National Geographic factor—that is, most of the images we see of black women breastfeeding are semi-naked women in Africa whose lives seem so far away from our modern, African American lifestyle and experience.

A lack of culturally competent breastfeeding resources in our communities also play a part.

Whatever the root causes, the correlative impact is clear: A woman is more likely to eat nutritious food when breastfeeding. Conversely, when a woman lives in a food desert and knows her diet is not and cannot easily be healthy, nutritious and affordable, she is less likely to breastfeed.

Our destinies are inextricably linked.

By breaking downs the racial and social barriers to the first food, we can give more infants a healthier and more equitable start in life; make the first food, fair food and improve the health of their mothers, too.

In the broader community, the conversation must include existential matters like how connected women are to the experience and how breastfeeding works in the actual context of our lives. We need to address and name the psychological, sociological, economic, political and cultural forces that are undermining our breastfeeding experience, from the back door deals between hospitals and pharmaceutical companies to the loneliness and frustration that can also be a part of the breastfeeding experience.

We need to understand how breastfeeding, which should be one of the most nurturing experiences for a mother,  became “angrified” and how these invisible yet insidious factors are creating a muddled environment where mothers are not fully accessing the best nutrition for their infant.

Removing the barriers of access and creating a new, honest conversation around the first food is the only way to build a nation of healthier children from the start. And only that would be a true food revolution.

At the funeral, my sister Katrina sang a beautiful song. I read a poem that my grandmother wanted read. And my brother Jeffrey emotionally shared his memories.

But try as we might with songs and poems and words and flowers and scriptures and weeping and rocking and grieving, we could and can not fill the void left by my grandmother's passing.

And this is what breast cancer is to me. Holes. Gaping holes in the lives–adults, children and even the unborn, where a vibrant and critical person once stood and flourished.

Every year breast cancer leaves on average 425,000 holes.

There are holes in our communities when children grow up without their mother, families lose their matriarchs, and husbands lose their wives. 

 Holes in our understanding of how breast cancer happens and why black women get it younger and in a more aggressive form and why we have the highest mortality rate even though we have a lower incidence rate.

 Holes in our speech when we don't talk about breast cancer enough.  And holes in our sense of humanity when we don't do all we can to support more research and broader treatment options.

 Yes, breast cancer is about holes. And breast cancer awareness is about filling those holes. Filling those holes of knowledge, filling those holes of negative perception, filling those holes of confusing  misinformation that keep many women from getting the early treatment they need.

But most importantly, it is about filling the holes in hearts. Hearts like mine that still ache for my Naelen (Nay-elen short for Nana Helen) and her jokes, and her strength, and the way she put a slice of onion on every salad.

 It is about making sure there are fewer holes–fewer daughters, mothers, wives, aunties, nieces and cousins lost to breast cancer. And more survivors sharing their story.

 What does breast cancer mean to you?

*Lifetime Moms is partnering with the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation and their Army of Women initiative to help accomplish their goal of eradicating breast cancer. Join the Army today and become part of an online database to receive research updates and volunteer opportunities. It's simple and free. Lifetime will donate $1 for every recruit referred by Lifetime Moms. Learn more >>

I didn't know much about Parkinson's Disease until my friend, Beth Hochstein, revealed to me that she had the disease. To me, it was a disease for older people with Michael J. Fox as a noted exception.

But Parkinson's Disease and early onset PD is a growing problem. About 50,000 Americans are diagnosed with Parkinson's disease each year, with more than half a million Americans affected at any given time.

I've seen Beth struggle with movement until her morning meds kick in. I've seen Beth work it out using dance therapy and teaching Zumba as an important part of her treatment.

What I haven't seen is more brown faces supporting research and awareness of this disease. Granted, studies have said African Americans have a lower incidence of PD, but recently newer research suggests those numbers may be due to late or misdiagnosis.

And while we know of Muhammad Ali and his courageous battle with PD… Check out this video link by my girls over at Moms in the City, where Laila Ali shares how she will discuss her father's disease with her kids…we don't see much else in our community.

That's why I've been really impressed by another younger African American with Parkinson's Disease–former NBA star, Brian Grant, who in 12 seasons in the NBA played for the Kings, Portland Trail Blazers, Miami Heat, Lakers and Phoenix Suns.

Grant went public with his PD diagnosis in 2009, and now works with the Michael J Fox foundation and Team Fox  and his own Brian Grant Foundation and his Powering Forward initiative to empower people with PD to live full lives.

I like that!

That's why MochaManual is helping sponsor an important Zumbathon "Dance Party for Parkinsons" fundraiser on October 23rd in Long Island, New York to help raise money and awareness for PD. Two hours of Zumba (I'm so addicted to Zumba!) plus massages, cupcakes, designer fashions and beverages sponsored by FUZE. Get more info at www.dancepartyforparkinsons.com

That's why I was sooo excited to be asked to take part in Avon's Founder's Day celebration. First of all it was a chance to be on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange for the closing bell–and as a former writer for FORTUNE and former Wall Street reporter for the New York Post, I couldn't wait to be back in the buzz, the frenzy and the excitement of the NYSE floor.

I tell everyone who knew me B.C. (before children) that I learned to speak loudly and curse appropriately by covering Wall Street as a woman and visiting the NYSE floor often. Was that good training for parenting????

Either way, I'm a big fan of Avon and an even bigger fan of what Avon stands for–empowering women to have financial independence.  The company was started by David H. McConnell and offered women a rarity in 19th century America: a chance at financial independence. In 1886, it was practically unheard of for a woman to run her own business.

But today, OMG! the women I met at the Founder's Day reception after the closing bell (in a most fabulous room of the exchange) were successful business owners, sassy, confidence and straight up amazing! 

Like Marie from Irvington, New Jersey who was raised by a single mom who supported her family by selling Avon. Now Marie is doing that and then some–starting off selling Avon while working as a labor and delivery nurse (I should have left her a copy of The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy…Darn!) and now leading a team of over 300 reps and earning over 1 MILLION DOLLARS in annual sales.

Or Liz who was looking for a flexible business that would help her take care of her children and is now an executive unit leader in Medford, New York.

Or Hazel, a mother of three,  who started in 2008 and now makes over $2000 a month, which she is putting toward college savings for her children.

Then there was Janet Erb who has been selling Avon for 62 years. Did you hear me??? 62 years. She said that she still loves door to door sales the most, but her daughter who has been selling for 35 years, has set up her website "stuff."  (This woman was awesome!)

And finally, a couple from Florida, who began selling Avon in 1990 and a little over ten years later have a $14 million unit.  The secret: "Perseverance," they told me. " Keep working at it. The brand recognition, quality and integrity of Avon sells itself." 

They also spoke of the importance of online sales and using social media–note to all of you aspiring mompreneurs out there…

And for all the women of color who thought AVON didn't have much for US, the sales reps have two words for you: Paul Innis. The celebrity make up artist has created a new shade palette for darker skin tones. Whoo hooo!!

Avon CEO Andrea Jung addresses the crowd at the after-bell reception!

I am a paid brand ambassador for AVON. My views are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Avon and its affiliates.

I was so excited to learn that Erykah Badu wants to become a midwife. I wasn't surprised though, since I've been watching her spokesperson work with the International Center for Traditional Childbearing–an amazing organization run by an equally amazing woman, Shafia Monroe. Shafia and I got to know each other through my work with the Black Maternal Health project. (Please check out the info on ICTC's upcoming Black Midwives & Healers Summit in Mississippi)

I've always been a huge supporter of midwives, particularly related to their powerful role in helping black women have full term babies, fewer C-sections and in reducing infant mortality. I know it's important work.

I remembered a post I wrote for my SisterSpace column on WomenseNews about the importance of midwifery and doulas. Here's what I said:

"Could midwives be key to helping reduce the high pre-term birth and low birth-weight baby rate that continue to plague black women of all socioeconomic levels? Could midwives help reverse the high exceptionally C-section rates among black women and reduce the shamefully rising maternal mortality rates among black women?

And birth center models like The Birth Place, http://thebirthplace.org an unique midwifery and women's health center in Winter Garden, Florida run by Jenni Joseph, show impressive results in reducing pre –term births.

But, why? The answer, as it unfolded before us, was in the education that midwives provide. Expecting moms who work with midwives are more informed about the birth process than women who work with doctors only. We all know that most doctors prefer that you know less, and trust them more, so that they can do what works best for them and not deal with any pesky little questions about your own life that you may have.

After all knowledge is power.

So when a woman who has had a midwife is told she needs to be induced. She knows she can ask why, if the baby's heart rate is fine and other measures she's been educated on are still ok.

When a woman whose water has broken is told that she must be induced, a woman with a midwife may have been taught that actually unless other indicators show otherwise a baby can be fine for up to 24 hours after the water breaks. It is Hollywood that has told us otherwise, and turned the water breaking into the mad dash to the hospital event that makes for great cinema but woefully misinformed moms to be.

And when a woman has a true (not Hollywood or doctor-friendly) understanding of how long the labor process can be, she won't stand for being told that a C section is necessary because it's been five hours and she hasn't dilated. She will also have been educated on the real signs of labor, so she won't go the hospital too soon where labor can be stunted by laying in a bed and you are more likely to be given unnecessary medical interventions.

These are key pieces to the puzzle. As we know, the answer is not in the prenatal care. Women are getting that. But that hasn't improved matters. The key is in the education–an education that often does not happen in its full measure at a traditional doctor's office. And that's what midwives can provide."

Erykah Badu has already been working as a doula, or Erykah Badoula, as her clients allegedly call her. Would you let Erykah deliver your baby??

Have you used midwives or doulas in your births? And why aren't more of us using them?

Either way, breast cancer is important stuff.

That's why I was super excited to land an invite to the NYC premiere screening of FIVE, the series of 5 short films directed by Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston, and Alicia Keys  (Ok, i was super excited to get dressed up for a chance to see Alicia Keys!). The films portray real scenarios of women dealing with breast cancer and they are gripping, provocative, funny, touching and empowering. 

In each film you meet a series of characters Charlotte, Cheyanne, Lili, Mia and Pearl.The connective thread is Jeanne Tripplehorn (loved her in Big Love–check out my pic) who stars in all five films.

You've love and laugh out loud at Patricia Clarkson as Mia.  And this sisters will definitely relate to the sisterly dynamics, the motherly attitude and the strong black syndrome in Lili, directed by Alicia Keys and featuring my favs Rosario Dawson, Tracee Ellis Ross and everybody's favorite mama, Jennifer Lewis.

I just loved the movie and the event! And I had the best time with my fellow LifetimeMom, Beth Feldman of RoleMommy.com (thanks for the pics!), and Melissa Chapman of Marriedmysugardaddy.com.

Check out my pics of Jennifer Aniston and more on the MochaManual Facebook  page. And please LIKE us while you're there.

Halloween has had a major comeuppance as a holiday. This realization was sealed for me a few weeks ago when I walked into Walmart to buy school supplies in early September, only to find the “Back to School” section completely disbanded and replaced with the Halloween section.

Really? Already?

Yes. Already.

So if yours is one of those families who like to do it up big for Halloween and are already planning your Hallo-getaway, you might want to check out these great themed activities, which range from mild to wild!

Why not head to Orlando, where the theme parks really go all out for Halloween? For a “mild” but majorly fun experience you can’t lose with “Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party” from Sept. 13-Nov. 1 on select nights. Each fall, guests are invited to dress in costume and trick-or-treat throughout the Magic Kingdom after the park shuts down. The boo-free bash includes Mickey’s “Boo-to-You” Halloween Parade and the bewitching “Happy HallowWishes” fireworks spectacular. And the event wouldn’t be complete without a ride on the Haunted Mansion. Tickets range from $59.95-$62.95 for adults and $53.95-$57.95 for children ages 3-9. You can find information on discounted tickets at www.disneyworld.com or at 407-824-4321.

Another crowd pleaser for the younger set is SeaWorld Orlando’s “Halloween Spooktacular,” Oct. 1-30, on select dates. This underwater “fantasea” comes alive as youngsters trick-or-treat among friendly sea witches, octopuses, mermaids, pumpkin fish, and more. Children may dress up in costume and play with sea fairies, learn from a school of fish, or dance with an ice witch. Entrance to “Halloween Spooktacular” is included in regular SeaWorld admission, which is $81.99 for adults and $73.99 for children ages 3-9. Visit www.SeaWorldParks.com or call 888-800-5447.

If you want something a little scarier for the PG-13-and-up crowd, consider Universal’s “Halloween Horror Nights.” Celebrating “21 years of fear,” Universal Studios Florida is transformed into a frightening labyrinth of haunted houses, electrifying scare zones and outrageous live shows during select nights between Sept. 23-Oct. 31. Considered one of the world’s largest, most elaborate Halloween celebrations, Halloween Horror Nights pushes the limits of fear. Admission is $81.99 for general admission; visit www.halloweenhorrornights.com or call 407-363-8000.  

If you love Fall like I do but Halloween isn’t your thing, Orlando is jam-packed with other great Fall activities for foodies, sports fans and music lovers. Check out these hot happenings:

Epcot International Food & Wine Festival

Sept. 30-Nov. 13

From the seasoned connoisseur to the knowledge-seeking amateur, this popular foodie event attracts a diverse audience to sip, sample and savor treasures from some of the world’s most famous wineries and celebrated chefs. Guests can boost their wine IQ at wine and beer seminars and polish their culinary skills at numerous demonstrations and tastings. The Festival is included in regular Epcot admission, which is $85 for adults and $79 for children ages 3-9. Visit the Epcot International Food & Wine Festival Web page (http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/epcot/special-events/epcot-international-food-and-wine-festival/) or call 407-824-4321.

Orlando Calling

Nov. 12-13

This brand-new music festival features more than 80 bands on four stages playing everything from blues to hip-hop, from country to rock. Event headliners include blues legend Buddy Guy and Kid Rock along with KiD CuDi, The Roots, and more. The event is being billed as the biggest live music event of its kind in Florida, with up to 40,000 fans expected each day. Single-day tickets are $87.50 each for field access and $175 for VIP; 2-day tickets are $160 for field access and $295 for VIP. Visit www.OrlandoCalling.com or call 800-745-3000.

Florida Classic

Nov. 19

Catch this annual football rivalry game between Florida A&M University and Bethune-Cookman University—one of the largest historically black college and university football events in the country. Each year, the game attracts nearly 70,000 fans who pack Orlando’s Citrus Bowl Stadium just outside downtown Orlando—and many fans show up just for the highly anticipated halftime “Battle of the Bands.” The game is the culmination of a week of activities surrounding the Florida Classic. Visit www.floridaclassic.org or call 407-423-2476.

If you’ve got a Halloween or Fall getaway on your mind, a visit to Orlando is a surefire treat.