Follow My Online Dating Consultant for free daily updates at:

How to date on line is a pretty generic topic point, huh?  People will overload with you their best tips for dates, dating email tips and advice about dating but how do you sift through all of that information?

The key to figuring out how to date on line is to find your own voice and embrace who you are.  Don’t be worried about turning off a prospective match with a dating profile or dating email that is genuine and reflects who you are.  Be original and broadcast in your own voice.  That will help you attract the person that will end up liking you off line as much as on line.

When you consider how to date on line and particularly during your first online dating experience you may find all of this daunting.  The prospect of summarizing yourself in a short online dating profile can seem impossible.  So don’t.  The best thing I can suggest you do when pondering how to date on line is to release the idea of creating a summary of yourself in your online dating profile.  Instead use it as a launching point to a real conversation or online dating email.

If you’re struggling with how to date on line and writing a dating profile that is reflective of who you are that is still interesting to read, you can enlist the help of an expert.

Please visit www.MyOnlineDatingConsultant.com for genuine and trusted help with how to date on line and create a winning online dating profile.

Follow My Online Dating Consultant for free daily updates at:

I read this one girl’s profile and it seemed like we have a lot in common.  I sent her an email and but she never replied.  Should I try again?

 Thanks in advance for the guidance.

 Thanks,

Andrew

Hey Andrew,

Thanks for writing in.  This is a great question and really illustrates the subtleties of online dating that can be hard to navigate on your own.

As much as the online dating coaching that I provide at My Online Dating Consultant will enhance your online dating process and dramatically increase the percentage of responses you get, you are still going to run into women that will not reply immediately. I’ve written about dealing with rejection in online dating before (click here to read) but your situation is a bit more specific.

When someone you are interested in doesn’t recognize you as the catch you are, there is a fine line between being interested and being creepy that every man must walk delicately when doing online dating.  The dating tips and online dating advice that I give help you walk that line like a pro.

I advise waiting 5-7 days for your outgoing email to be received and replied to.  You have to remember that no matter how much of a match you perceive this lovely lady to be, she is getting inundated with incoming emails from other online dating suitors and has a life offline that she is balancing too.  It’s very easy for your email to get buried and/or lost in the pile and you shouldn’t give up immediately.

If you truly believe there’s a connection to be had, it is worth sending a second email that has to be carefully tailored to indicate you’ve recognized her as someone worth a second effort, but shows you are just confident and not creepy.  This is where the expert online dating guidance and online dating advice of My Online Dating Consultant comes in to play to help you skillfully craft such an email and increase your likelihood of a reply.

I coach my clients to implement a one-time and one-time only last chance strategy when it comes to pursuing someone who has initially not responded to your proactive outreach.  DO NOT GO BEYOND THAT SECOND EMAIL.  She’s not that busy to take time to reply to a second email from someone she finds interesting.   If the second outreach is ignored, then she’s softly telling you she’s not interested by not replying.  Take the hint and move on.

If she’s not interested, take solace in the fact that while her profile may have made you feel that there was a connection…you really don’t know that until you sit down and share space with her.  A profile is not a live interaction.  So…keep looking and find someone who will be enthusiastic and excited to hear from a guy like you!

If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/ 

Confidently Yours,

Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

 I am a successful woman who makes a sizable income and have noticed that guys will sometimes expect me to pay on a first date.  This is really surprising to me and I wonder what you think the dating etiquette is for who pays on a date.

 Thanks,

Linda

Hey Linda,

This is a great question.  Guys should always pay on a first date but I’m going to include a few things to be aware of that will help your date feel good about his choice to do so.

I understand that there are often cultural and familial experiences that come into play in the decision about who pays when that ominous check arrives.  Chivalry is not dead and if a guy asks you out he should be prepared to pay.  However, keep in mind that as a man…no one ever pays for us.  Most of the time we are picking up the tab and this can get pretty expensive even for those with a solid income.  There are a few things you can do to help your date feel you appreciate his gesture.

Make An Offer

Always offer to pay.  Quality guys know that we’re expected to pay but we like that you don’t just expect us to.  Ask if you can split it.  This gives us an opportunity to exercise our heroism and flex our masculine ego muscles in declining your offer.  We appreciate the offer.  I’ve been on dates in the past where the woman didn’t even bring her purse, just assuming that I’d cover the whole evening.  It was that assumption that turned me off and she lost me even though I would have paid regardless.

 Return The Favor

The other great return gesture which shows you’re interested and appreciate your date’s generosity is to offer to buy a round of drinks at the bar after dinner.  This is a great way to show you’re an empowered woman and want to be a partner in this budding relationship while still acknowledging traditional chivalrous roles.  If you’re just having drinks as your date, offer to buy an ice cream or coffee afterwards on a post-date stroll.

No Splitting

If you go out a few times subsequently, it’s a nice gesture to pick up a tab once in a while as well.  The first date is an “always pay” for guys but Dates 3, 4, and beyond are opened to some alternating.  In general, I’d advise against splitting any tabs because it’s very asexual.  Treating each other is so much nicer and lets you both express your appreciation for what you’re each bringing to the table.

The rules of dating can be very tricky to master and online dating can be even more of a maze to navigate.  If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and improve your online dating process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Bi-Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

I’m new to online dating and want to make sure I get the best girls.  Should I be on more than one dating website to increase my odds?

Thanks,

Jeff

Hey Jeff,

There are hundreds of online dating websites out there and it can be tempting to ride all of them all at once.  However the best online dating results come from a more focused approach.

The majority of my clients at My Online Dating Consultant purchase my service because they find online dating to be a time-consuming process that is not yielding the results they want.  The answer is not to increase your pool in that case, but instead be more targeted and develop a game plan to reach success.  I help my clients run a successful online dating process with an investment of an hour or two a week with one site.  Signing up for additional sites means additional time that truly is not necessary and can diminish your available “dating capital” of energy and enthusiasm.

Online dating sites are no different from any other mechanism for meeting new people.  Every online dating site has a ton of excellent, high quality people and every site has a slew of unattractive, undateable candidates too.  It is more about the approach you take to online dating than it is about where you do it.

While it’s good to stay the course with one online dating site at a time, it is advisable after a prolonged stay on one site to switch off to another.  When you initially sign-up for a new online dating website, there’s an early burst of excitement with all of these new faces and women to potentially select from at your fingertips.  However, in time you may find that the talent pool is saturated and you’re seeing them same tired old faces each time you log in to search.  This is a good time to pull down your profile or let your subscription lapse to start fresh somewhere else.

If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Bi-Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

I feel like I have a decent online dating profile, but I’m still not getting many winks or emails from girls.  I thought the profile was the most important part of doing well with online dating.  No?

 Thanks,

Steve

Hey Steve,

You are definitely on the right track…but you are missing some critical elements.

Your online dating profile definitely has to be interesting to read and stand-out from the abundance of online dating clowns (see photo).  It also has to be reflective of who you truly are if you want to draw quality women to you who will be a good use of your energy and time…but that’s not the whole story.  As a man, you have to realize that women are rarely going to be proactively searching profiles looking for guys.  As modern as online dating is, the traditional gender dating roles where the man initiates contact generally still apply.

Creating an interesting email that is specific to the woman you are pursuing (not generic email blasts to 100 different women) is the most important element of that initial online dating connection.  You have to catch her attention and pull yourself out of the pack of hundreds of emails that attractive woman receive every day online.  Be the email that jumps out of her inbox and makes her think, “I’ve got to respond to this.”

A fruitful online dating experience requires an effective strategy.  The desired process flow starts with a stand-out email that leads her to your online dating profile.  The online dating profile is a space for you to share a bit more detail about yourself in a way that is unique and reflective of who you are at your core.  It’s not a resume, but rather a chance for you to show yourself as original and leave your girl wanting to know more.

Now, this may sound a bit intimidating or make you feel like this is too much work.  However, creating an effective online dating process with an eye-catching dating profile, a time-efficient proactive search and a mastery of original and bold outgoing email creation is an art form.  The good news is it can be learned.

I can teach you how to do all of this effectively and master a process that may seem untamable at the moment.  Check me out at My Online Dating Consultant and let me show you how to make online dating an effective tool in your dating arsenal.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

I have sent out a few emails to women but never seem to make that great connection.  I’m feeling kind of lost.  What am I doing wrong?

 Thanks,

Don

Hey Don,

No, the photo above is not what I think you look like lost in the “online dating woods”.  That woman was just to hot to pass up including in my response.

Thank you for writing in.  I chose your email because your question is one I get all the time.

Having chosen a career as an online dating consultant, I don’t really get to put that expertise aside.  Whether I’m out on the beach, at an event or even at a friend’s party, people always want to ask me about the problems they’re having with online dating.  I always want to help but usually there’s a different answer to every individual’s situation.

The benefit of working with me at My Online Dating Consultant is that I take a very personalized approach to helping you over your online dating hurdles.  Generic advice can help, but it’s been my experience that every person does some things right and other things…well, not so right.  Those things are rarely the same across different people.  We all have different strengths and weaknesses.

As a part of my interaction with you as a client, I take time to understand what you are all about, what you really want in a partner and what you want out of the online dating process.  Before you even attempt to prepare an online dating profile, you have to get your own internal house in order.  Exercises that help you get a handle on who you truly are and not what you want to be are extremely helpful.  The next step is to figure out what your “non-negotiables” are in a partner and base your search on those key attributes.

I have tons of personal experience and an established clientele of professional people who I’ve helped find happiness online.  Having a second set of objective eyes on your process is absolutely invaluable.  However, even if you don’t join my family of clients, I recommend you ask yourself the key questions above to get the most out of your experience.

As I tell all of my clients, own who you are and don’t be afraid to present that in your profile and in your approach.  Let the people who will be put off by who you truly are be turned off and let those that will truly dig what you are all about find their way to you.  Simple enough, right?

If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Bi-Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

 I read your article last week in the Unfinished Man about dating after a divorce.  I am in that situation and wondered if you recommend including my son in my profile pictures or writing about him in my profile.

 Thanks in advance,

Anthony

Hey Anthony,

Thanks for sending along a question that many of my divorced readers may be also asking themselves.

Including a child from a previous marriage in your new single life can be a confusing endeavor.  Some men fear that women will be turned off by the fact that they have a child or be reluctant to date a man who might not be willing to give them their entire attention.

When it comes to online dating, I do not recommend including photos of your child in your profile.  The profile photos should be about you and including your child is unnecessary.  She has to be inspired and attracted to you first and foremost.  If you connect with someone, there will be plenty of time to share pictures of your little man when the time is right.

From a security perspective, it’s dangerous to post photos of your child in such a public forum.  Online dating is extremely mainstreamed now, but there are still some scary people out there and it’s best to keep your child insulated from any potential danger.

However, I do recommend you be honest about the fact that you have a child.  It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or a point that should be covered up.  You are proud of your kid and he’s a major part of your life.  He should be presented like any other key attribute is about you.

Remember that the profile is about you and not your child.  Position your child as the source of inspiration or joy that he is and state simply that he’s a part of your life.  This puts you in a positive light, shares the reality of your situation and like any other quality…will inspire those that will be into you and turn off those that won’t.  Your date has the right to know.

The added bonus of owning the fact that you have a child is that you’ll be more comfortable emailing, talking with and ultimately meeting a woman who is aware of your situation.  If you love your child and are involved in his life, you’re bound to occasionally bring him up in conversation.  You won’t want to have to worry about letting something slip about him when you’re getting to know someone.  This will allow you to relax and be yourself through your interactions.

As I tell all of my clients, own who you are and don’t be afraid to present that in your profile and in your approach.  Let the people who will be put off by who you truly are be turned off and let those that will truly dig what you are all about find their way to you.  Simple enough, right?

If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/author/mike-muson/

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

After nearly 2 years in the online dating coaching business, I’ve found that talking about and improving one’s online dating process is a very personal experience.  It’s not something you want to talk about in public or share with your friends.

For that reason, I’ve decided to launch Discovery Week!  Discovery Week will take place from October 24th – October 28th.  During Discovery week, I’m giving away a FREE 15 minute phone consultation with me to discuss any questions you have about online dating and to discover the biggest obstacles holding you back from success with online dating.

Reserve your time slot for Discovery Week (October 24th – October 28th) now as they are going quickly.  There is absolutely no obligation to buy anything, so this pretty much a no-brainer.  It’s your time to have the ear of an online dating expert and to understand how to improve your online dating process.

Sign-up is easy and free.  Just send an email to Disovery@MyOnlineDatingConsultant.com with a few dates and times that fit your schedule between October 24th and October 28th to reserve your free consultation.

Thanks and I look forward to our conversation!

Confidently yours,
Mike Muson

CEO of My Online Dating Consultant

Question: after 1-2 dates I never hear from these guys again? They tell me I am beautiful and smart so why no phone calls or anything to let me know WHY?

 Sincerely,

Ms. B

Hey Ms. B,

Thanks for reaching out and asking a very good question.

Unfortunately, guys very rarely give you an explanation for why they stopped calling.  They just stop.

There are still some classy guys out there that will take the noble path and call to say they’d rather not see you anymore.  However, most guys and girls alike take the easy path and just ignore your calls or cease to initiate contact with you.

There are an infinite number of reasons guys stop calling, many of which may have absolutely nothing to do with you.  An ex may have come back into their life, they may have a new project at work that is consuming their time…or the reality is they may just have not felt the connection with you that they wanted.

The key is moving on and not allowing missed connections to affect your next interaction.  Stay positive and don’t allow someone else’s decision to impact how you feel about yourself.  You will find someone who appreciates and respects you with a positive approach.

If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process and perhaps investigate why the wrong kinds of people may be drawn to you.  I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.

In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:

The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):

https://myonlinedatingconsultant.wordpress.com/

My Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:

http://www.unfinishedman.com/category/dating-and-sex

Cheers,
Mike Muson

CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant

Best,

Doug

Dear Doug,

Yes, dating can get expensive for guys out there looking to find love.  If you’re in a major city like LA or NY, even taking women out for a few $15 martinis can eat away at your finances in a hurry.  Even more importantly, you’ll want to limit overextending your most valuable asset which is your time.

I would absolutely avoid any kind of first online date that is a major time commitment. Things like dinners or hikes are better saved for futures dates when you’ve established that you want to spend time with this person. The first online date is definitely still a date, but is more of an opportunity to get to know her in person.  I stress to my clients that you really don’t know someone, no matter what she says on her dating profile that clicks with you, until you sit down and share space with her.  All of the online dating profile creation, flirtatious emails and phone calls lead up to this live interaction which is truly where the connection either happens or doesn’t.

Make your online date one that only requires a one hour commitment. If you like her, you can always stay for another drink or extend the date however you like.  This approach serves a dual purpose of allowing you to set your expectations reasonably for the date and if it doesn’t work out…it’s not that big a deal. You’ve spent an hour of your life meeting someone new.

I’m a big fan of Happy Hour for a first online date.  It gives you a chance to check out a place with a lively/social atmosphere where you can relax and get to know someone new over some typically reduced price drinks.  Happy Hour is a nice first start because you’re relaxing after work and women will feel comfortable that they’re not out too late on a school night with a man they don’t know very well yet.

For more extensive guidance about making online dating a successful tool in your arsenal, please visit www.MyOnlineDatingConsultant.com

Good luck,

Mike Muson

My Online Dating Consultant

As you may have noticed I’ve changed the format of this blog to be more interactive.  If you’d like your question to be answered here, please email your questions to info@myonlinedatingconsultant.com.  Please also leave your comments about this question below.