Only I thought he said AUTISTIC.

And it looks like that’s what I found.

Please help.

During the Merc show I tweeted this:

Slackjawed and tingly watching this band kill it. Imagine this is what stripclubs are like for those so inclined.11:39 PM Jun 6th from Twitterrific

Which basically says it all. So yeah, they closed with this both nights, which happens to be my favorite on the record. It’s called “The Hawk That Hunts the Walking.” it’s long and spectacular and it is everything that is good about the world. I suggest you play it way loud.

I’ve been behind Mandy Moore forever – “Candy,” “In My Pocket,” even “A Walk to Remember.” But this? This I love. Here’s one example of why. It’s called “Everblue,” and it’s gorgeous. (And it isn’t even a Mike Viola song! See, totally cured.)

Now imagine you’re four years old and hear this every day. Of course you are going to sing it. And of course your mom is going to ask you to please stop singing it in public.

What? It’s Pet SHOP, not Pet Slaughter. Why don’t they make Slaughter change their name too?

Although, Slaughter could be referring to human slaugher. I guess PETA doesn’t have a problem with that. But pet shops – God forbid you want to add a parrot to your home.

And now I can’t stop laughing.

Concessions: Made.

Mission: Possible.

Soundtrack: “Happen Now” by Joel Plaskett.

Outstanding Items: Wishes of luck (Think good thoughts!)

V: Ooh, strawberries!

Me: If you want one, just ask. [Work neighbor] was offering before.

V: No, I don’t ask.

Me: It’s good to ask. It’s like the song says,  “Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.”

V: Hmph. That should be your ringtone.

It’s hilarious because it’s true!

Ask – The Smiths

There was a show tonight, a Mike Viola show. It was at the Living Room. These are always very good. It’s been 12 years this month that we first saw Mike, so it was even more exciting.

Tonight, there were many new songs. Those are often very good. One new song was introduced by Kelly Jones (she is very good) as a dance track. Now, of course, all night me and Dollie are wondering if they are going to do our song (which is really very great). But “This is a dance track” didn’t have the ballad of “Dollie and Jane” written all over it. So when, in the intro, Mike sang the “do-do-do-do-do!” bit from our song, I thought, “That f- is reusing our hook.” Only he wasn’t. It was our song. OUR SONG is a dance anthem. The world rejoices.

Then the show was over.

“So, are you waiting to talk to Mike Viola” (mispronounced Vee-ola), the drunk man asked.
“Yes,” I answered. “Mike VIE-ola.”
“From Boston, Massachusetts,” he said.
“Oh, are you?” I asked.
“No, he is. I bet you didn’t know that.”
“You’d be surprised,” I said. “You know that song ‘Dollie & Jane’ that you just heard? Yeah, well, I’m Jane. So I know quite a bit.”

Fair warning: I will be absolutely insufferable from now until the end of time.

We went to see “Taken,” in a theater full of men. At the end of the movie, after I announced, “This is my favorite movie ever,” I was struck by how ridiculous it is that women flocked to a film presumably about how stupid they are (to make them feel bad about themselves?) when they could have seen a movie starring Liam Neeson as Charles Bronson.  I fear for the future of humankind.