Comments for www.modernmasculinity.com

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by Feebs

Feebs — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:51:42 +0000

Thanks Sean. Its nice to get a male’s perspective on things and the more time goes on, as much as it hurts like hell, I am realising that relationships don’t have to be this way. Friends are important, and its great if you have your own and mutual friends and interests and do things with them, but its the balance that was missing here, far tipping away from spending time with someone you supposedly want to be with.
Thanks so much for your reply, I really appreciate it

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by Sean

Sean — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:10:51 +0000

Feebs,

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Your former boyfriend did not prioritize you, and your relationship was not working. Find a man who will be present with you, giving 100% of his attention and love to you periodically, rather than just spending time around you when he’s really focused on the telly.

Comment on Crying: Can Real Men Cry? by Boyhood and Manhood issues « Kutumaini’s Blog

Boyhood and Manhood issues « Kutumaini’s Blog — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:37:47 +0000

[…] A’Real’ Boy - Childhood Experiences of Homosexual Men - The Gender Perception of Pain -Can Real Man Cry? - What Is A Man? Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Jesus – the man’s […]

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by Feebs

Feebs — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:17:31 +0000

But what is a reasonable balance? My man (now ex as he worked out his priorities were not me spent and still spends 6 days a week with the same mates. We were together 14 months, did not live together, and our one night together during the week (by ourselves) was Wednesday nights. Friday nights were at the same friends place, but I’d go as well, although towards the end I found EVERY friday night to be just too much and as the winter onset, I only went every second or third Friday night. He would then cycle with his mates (same ones again) on Sat mornings, then go to the Footy matches with them, then we’d have usually committments together on the weekend like birthdays etc to go to. We did get to spend a bit of time together some weekends, but I just felt as if after 14 months, that his priorities lay with his mates.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that this is not a fair balance? When we broke up, we also established though that he does not love me. He said he did into the couch on the day, but I don’t think he really does. In 14 months, I find that really disappointing as I want to be with someone who loves me as much as I love them.
From a man’s perspective…help!!
Tell me what you think, honestly

Comment on Crying: Can Real Men Cry? by Sean

Sean — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:35:52 +0000

Jonathon,

I agree, it is a delicate balance, and every father needs to act from a place of parental love. Fathers need to find the balance between compassionate, loving support of their children and holding back to encourage the growth their children need to become competent men and women in the world.

sean

Comment on Fear of Vibrators by Sean

Sean — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:31:05 +0000

Thomas,

Thank you for the encouragement. I let this blog lay fallow for a while, and I’m back in the driver’s seat.

sean

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by Sean

Sean — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:27:55 +0000

Eva,

I find your comments interesting. If I understand you properly, you are saying that you want your man to spend more time with you than with his friends. In your second post, you state that if he loves you, he wants to spend time with you.

I am not saying that men should not want to spend time with their SO’s; If that’s true, they’re not significant, and should be set free to find someone who will treat them well. Rather, I’m saying that abandoning his friends in order to spend all of his time with his SO is not manly behavior.

I would go so far as to argue that if he does this, you’ll lose respect for him, and eventually dump him because a real woman doesn’t want a puppy who caters to her whims. Rather she wants a strong man with balanced priorities.

Sean

Comment on Crying: Can Real Men Cry? by Jonathon

Jonathon — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:42:15 +0000

I tend to agree with your assessment, and although I have no children, I think that you’re probably right to avoid paying too much attention to your child when he accidentally acquires a slight injury. It’s a delicate balance though, and I’d say you’ll know when he really gets injured if he cries even when you’re not paying attention. That may be an insight to the larger question of when and whether a “real man” should cry. Should he curse when he hits his thumb with a hammer? Well, whether or not he should, he will do what comes naturally regardless of whether anyone’s listening; so, what I’m trying to say is that one should express one’s emotions without trying to use these expressions to garner attention — unless one really needs assistance from others.

Additionally, I feel strongly that every man is an individual. I prefer to separate the concept of manhood from the concept of masculinity. There is value to masculinity, but it also comes at a cost that is too high for some men; that is their prerogative and they are, nonetheless, still men.

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by eva

eva — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:18:01 +0000

you are all wrong if he loves you he want to spend time with you..

Comment on Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO by eva

eva — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:17:12 +0000

now you are wrong if I like him I want him spend more time with me as with his friends…If he spend more time with friends mean he do not love me enough…