This is my last Modern Reject post after all.

So where do I start?

This last year of blogging has left me wanting. I found myself less and less dedicated to this blog, less and less motivated, and less willing to write the kind of posts I had become known for writing. I didn’t want to drum up controversy, or rock the boat, or stir the pot anymore.

I didn’t want to write divisive posts or respond to angered commenters. I didn’t want to defend my faith or hell, my theology for that matter. I didn’t want to “make my case” or “prove my point” or “defend my position.”

Basically, I didn’t want to be the Modern Reject anymore and for good reason. Because I’m no longer the Modern Reject. I am not the same person I was three years ago when I started this blog. Praise Jesus. Can I get an “Amen!”?

So much has happened in that time that has changed me and shaped me, making it virtually impossible for me to go on doing business as usual.

For one thing, I had a third child, my darling adventurer, Beckett. I thought a baby would be nothing more than a bump in the blogging road, but instead he brought me to a complete halt for months while I nursed, and cuddled, and stared at him whilst also wrangling my other two children.

Then, my physical pain reached an all-time high last year, leaving me in a daze on good days and bed-ridden on the bad days. I couldn’t even think of writing. It was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead, I wanted to curl up in a ball and try not to feel. God’s grace and mercy has been made known to me this last year in tremendous ways, but the pain remains and it has slowed me down and made me reconsider much of what I do and why.

Also, Jonathan and I planted the organic church we are so amazingly blessed to be a part of. Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of radical change, freedom, and transformation I would encounter in, among, and through this body of believers. Members of my church family have said that my whole demeanor, countenance, and interactions with them are different from 2 years ago. Jesus does that. He makes us more like Him…and I’m grateful.

But that also means, I’m different and what once made my heart go boom no longer does. What once felt significant and worthwhile slowly began to feel fruitless and unnecessary. Truth be told, I also became a bit jaded and disengaged with the “Christian blogosphere” where the painful practices of cliques, cool kids, uniformity over unity, and theological masturbation which are present in many traditional churches are also the norm here.

Reading in Colossians the other day, this passage summed up so much of how I have begun to feel about the Christian blogosphere, as a whole:

Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ.  Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.

 If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

If your eyes glazed over from seeing such a long passage of scripture, I apologize. I had to do it. This passage was a revelation to me. I’m tired of reading and watching Christians judge, condemn, and berate other Christians. I’m tired of watching believers elevate their own self-made religion and regulations “and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body…grows with a growth that is from God.” I’m just tired.

That’s not to say there aren’t a whole lots of bloggers whom I respect and admire, because there are. Overall, however, after 3 years of Christian blogging, I feel ready to say “goodbye” to the whole thing. More importantly, I finally feel like the Lord is allowing me to say “goodbye” with no shame and no regrets.

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Of course, this isn’t the way I wish I was going out. I wish I was saying sionara Breaking Bad style–you know, all on top of my game and keeping it tight with high drama and brilliant writing. But I’m not. I’ve slowly neglected this blog and I’m saying goodbye on a low note. I’ll admit that a few weeks ago, I started crying and cussing in frustration for having let Modern Reject dwindle away. I felt like a failure, who’d accomplished nothing.

Jonathan politely told me I was being completely ridiculous and it took me a few days to realize I was. The truth is that despite the fact that Modern Reject isn’t ending with it’s highest ever traffic or biggest ever year, I know that I accomplished much. I know that I have much to proud of…

But I also know that none of this–NONE OF IT–would have been possible without you. You, my wonderful readers, are one of the main reasons this little blog kept churning. Your comments, social media shares, emails or encouragement, prayers, support, and general awesomeness have spurred me on time and time again. You rock more than you will ever know. And I love you.

So, thank you. Thank you for sticking with me and not giving up on me. Thank you for believing in me and this blog and continuing to encourage me to keep at it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe so many of the words I have written to you.

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So what’s next for me, you ask? A much needed break. A few more afternoon naps, I hope. Some breathing room. A chance to disassociate myself with being ” the Modern Reject.”

Of course, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have something else up my sleeve. Long ago, right before I started Modern Reject, I had an idea and it was one of those big ideas–one of those God-given ideas. You know the kind that could potentially change your life? I had one of those ideas. But at the time, I didn’t feel equipped or capable of pursuing it. I knew I had to choose between the “big idea” and Modern Reject. I chose the later obviously. But, wouldn’t you know, this blog has helped prepare me for the next thing far beyond what I could have imagined.

I can’t give away too many details (forgive me for my secrecy), but in the next few months I’ll be launching a whole new project that will be radically different from this here blog. If you’d like to stay in touch with me in the interim, I’d love for you to do so. You can add your email to my email list (just type your email into the box at the top of the page) and be among the first to know about what I’m doing and what’s coming.

Until then, can I ask for you to pray for me? I covet your prayers. Would you please pray for my health and my pain, for God to increase my vision and my faith for the new project He is leading me into, and for favor among God and men? I would be so grateful and blessed.

Also, please know that all of my Modern Reject posts will be archived and this site will remain up. You can come here and read or re-read anytime. It’ll feel just like the good ol’ days. Promise.

And so, this is goodbye. Its been real. Its been fun. I’ve had the time of my life. Truly. I’ll miss you all terribly and hope to stay connected. Thank you for everything–every single bit of it. You’re my favorite. I’m so glad I know you.

With all the love, gratitude, and thankfulness in my heart,

Nicole

Feel free to share whatever you’d like with me. I’m still here reading it all and I promise to respond. xo

So here’s a run down of the most-read Modern Reject posts of 2013. It’s always surprising to see what was most popular and wasn’t so much.

You know, who was the star quarterback and his girlfriend and who was the band geek and drama nerd (all of whom I love and adore).

Here’s the 10 posts you guys loved best:

1.  A Letter to Rick Warren

2.  Unfiltered.

3. The Bible-less Christian

4. The Myth of a Personal Savior

5. Sex is Yours

6. My View of Women’s Roles

7. When Rejection Comes

8. Stop Quoting the Bible

9. Our Ugly Jesus

10. The Biggest Lie I Believe About God

My Personal Faves from 2013:

1. I Want a Break from God

2. The Invasion of Jesus

3. My Physical Healing, Parts 1, 2, and 3

4. Size Doesn’t Matter

5.  And Then There Was Her…{To My Daughter}

Okay, is your favorite MR post from this year on the list? Anything you’d add? What were some of your other favorite reads from the interwebs in 2013?

I can remember Easter’s past, when just hearing the name “Jesus” would cause my eyes to swell with tears and my throat to tighten. This was not that year. In fact, I felt little of nothing and that made me feel, well, a little guilty.

And as I was lying in bed on Sunday night, I tried to talk to God and understand just where I went wrong this Easter. I concluded, based upon His silence, that while I wanted to say that He just doesn’t care about the things that I care about–the truth is, I haven’t been caring about the things He cares about.

To add insult to injury, I have begun to question things that I have never questioned. I have begun to wrestle with things I have always assumed I would never need to wrestle against. And I’m scared.

I realized however, that I wasn’t the only one left feeling empty and disconnected this Easter. Except that this was new to me. I’ve never had an Easter like this, but I shouldn’t be surprised because…

…Church is hard.

Church isn’t easy. Being the church isn’t easy (and to quote Coldplay, no one said it’d be this hard).

But there is one glaringly obvious reason as to why church is hard. It explains all the heartache, disappointment, loneliness, isolation, disillusionment, and even anger that so many of us in the church experience…

Church is hard because it is made up of people.

Church is hard because it is comprised of imperfect, albeit new, creations.

Church is hard because just like family, you can’t really pick your church–a building, sure–but the body as a whole, no.

Church is hard because we are the church. Period.

And let’s be honest, sometimes we can be spiteful, judgmental, cruel, unloving, unkind, and anything but Christ-like. We make church hard.

I heard Frank Viola make this point once too: Have you ever noticed that the majority of the New Testament is comprised of letters written to churches in crisis? Paul wasn’t writing Corinth to congratulate them on a job well done, so much as to say “Hey, that guy who’s sleeping with his dad’s wife…uh, get rid of him.”

And if the first century church, still basking in the glow of Christ’s presence of earth, was struggling with so many of the same things we struggle with today, well, we should find that comforting, if not also a little convicting.

So as I sit struggling with some of the biggest questions I have ever grappled with in terms of my faith, I think the church is failing me. I want to scream “Don’t you see me? Don’t you see me crumbling?” I could blame them, point fingers at them, tell them that they have excluded me, forgotten me, misunderstood me.

But then, I am struck with the awesome understanding that this whole church thing isn’t so much about me, as it is about Him. He hasn’t accused me. He hasn’t abandon me. He hasn’t excluded or forgotten me…and He never will.

Who am I to question the means through which God chose to display His glory? He chose, in His infinite wisdom, to make us–the broken, contrite, lowly, and unlovely His beloved.

The Church, comprised of people, is God’s plan A. There is no plan B.

But that also means, church is hard.

Church is hard because people are messy, because family is messy.

Church is hard because often those closest to us, can hurt us the most.

Church is hard not because God made a mistake, but because we make mistakes.

And yet, it is still His representation to the world. It is still the imagery of the Bridegroom and the Bride. I’m not where I want to be in this whole broken family. I’m not feeling the most loved among its members right now, but when I stop to consider Her, I am amazed. I stand in awe of Him choosing us to show Himself. The Bride, in all her brokenness…just as lovely.

Do you find being in the church and being the church hard? Why or why not? When have you found church to be the most difficult?

To be honest, part of the reason I have pretty much avoided writing about this subject is because I have very little desire to debate others about the role of women in the church. Not because I think I’m right or I’ve landed on some eternal truth, but because I often find discussions such as these to be rather fruitless and distracting. Fruitless in that they do not advance the Kingdom and distracting in that they take our eyes, however briefly, off of Jesus Christ as our Head.

However, I’ve had people email me over my three years of blogging with greetings that begin with “As a fellow complementarian…” Or “As another like-minded egalitarian…” These emails make me laugh because never once have I ever referred to myself as either of these titles, nor would I ever.

But, what happens when you have a blog is that people assume they know you. They assume they’ve got you all figured out. If you write about your marriage a few times, they wrongly believe they have been given a full and clear look into its intricacies and intimacies. One post about my sex life a night in my bedroom does not make. Sorry.

My Own Marriage

So what does my marriage look like? Perhaps that’s a good place to start.

Practically speaking and in terms of household duties, my husband and I share a fair amount of them. He’s happy to wash dishes because he knows I despise it. He changes dirty diapers, bathes dirty children, even scrubs dirty toilets. I do the majority of the housework, but I am also the one who is home most of the day–raising and rearing those little beasts precious angels.

Jonathan is about as hands-on of a dad as you get, happily jumping in when I am in pain, or exhausted, or at my wits end. He’s engaged, present, and does a nearly perfect job of making time and spending time with his children. Sometimes, while he’s washing dishes and I’m wiping kitchen counters, I’ll ask, “Hey babe, can you change the baby’s diaper when you’re done, please?” And Jonathan will sharply reply, “No.” And we look at each other and then start laughing at the absurdity of his response. He’ll then say, “Can you believe some men do that? Ridiculous.”

In all of this, he tells me again and again that I am his “number one ministry.” He is fully devoted to me and our marriage. I can see it in the way he serves me, hear it in the way he honors me, and feel it in the way he loves me. I have never once doubted that he sees me as his peer and, really, if you asked him, he’d probably say that I’m “better” than him or “smarter” than him. Which isn’t true, but it’s nice.

In everyday life, the ins and outs, the ebbs and flows, we are equal and happily content to serve and bless one another. From an egalitarian perspective, we are about as egalitarian as it gets…

Except, there’s this…

Jonathan is also the head of our home.

And this is where I’m flippantly disregarded by egalitarians and wrongfully identified as a complementarian.

But, I believe this: For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

Spiritual Authority and Non-Hierarchical Leadership

What I do take Ephesians 5:22-24 to mean, however, is that my husband has a certain spiritual authority in our home and over our home. I cannot put it into words exactly. I can only say that I have witnessed it. I have watched the Spirit move or Satan be rebuked because of Jonathan’s spiritual authority.

That is not to say that I lack authority in Christ Jesus! Of course not. I, too, have the very Living God within me, but just as God sees fit to place greater responsibility among some, I believe he also places a greater spiritual authority and, thus, responsibility upon husbands. This argument may make some people uncomfortable because it is neither quantitative nor qualitative. Also because it would cause some to assume that, as a wife, I am less than.

However, God is not opposed to leadership. In fact, God honors leadership. Scripture is ripe with examples of both men and women exercising leadership. I do not believe, however, that God subscribes to a form of hierarchical leadership. There is a distinct difference between a marriage where leadership takes shape naturally and spiritually and a type of hierarchical leadership. Jonathan is not my “boss.” If anyone is our “boss,” it’s Jesus, but Jonathan is still in spiritual authority and, as my husband, reminds me often that “We must both submit to the headship of Jesus Christ.” And in doing so, my husband shows love to me.

Lest we also forget to read on in Ephesians where we are also told that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

My Own Church

So, what about my own church? What do women’s roles look like in my local expression of church?

Beyond my home, how do women operate and serve and minister in my church (the church that my husband and I planted, mind you)? It has been jokingly and yet accurately said that our organic church is packed full of powerful, outspoken, and confident women. This is completely true.

The women in this part of the body are actually, in many ways, bolder and more vocal than our male counterparts. Many of the men in our body are the strong silent types, choosing to offer words of wisdom at the most opportune moment. Many of us women, however, are loud, outgoing, even inappropriate at times…choosing to not always censor ourselves for the sake of truth-speaking.

More than that, both men and women in the church are viewed as equals–fellow heirs with Christ–brothers and sisters equally empowered by the same Spirit through the same God. Women teach in our gathering. Men teach. Women prophesy. Men prophesy. Women lay on hands. Men lay on hands. Women instruct, admonish, and equip. Men do the same.

Within my marriage, the same holds true. Jonathan receives from the Lord through me easily and often. I have admonished and corrected my husband and he, the same for me. I may submit to him as the head of our home, but we both submit to the Lordship and sovereignty of Jesus Christ.

The practice and reality of Jonathan as head of our home and me submitting to him is so natural that it is almost never discussed. It just is, like so many things in the Spirit. It simply takes shape and holds its form. Perhaps having children helps further draw out the need for a husband to serve as a spiritual head. Regardless, we move and breathe and live in the truth of Ephesians 5:22-24 in both contentment and peace.

And this is where egalitarians call me a liar. How could that be? How dare I say that our marriage mirrors that of the egalitarian ideal in all areas except that my husband is the head of our home and I’m not afraid of the word submit?

A lack of hierarchical leadership within a marriage, however, does not also mean a lack of leadership as a whole.  Our organic church and marriage for that matter operate much the same way, in that when hierarchical leadership is not present, natural leadership emerges. This leadership is lateral non-hierarchical.

Furthermore, the concept of equality is not a Biblical one. Nowhere in scripture does God elevate or espouse the concept of equality, at least not the “equality” people reference when discussing women’s roles. It is a man-made notion. The Bible says of our Lord, in fact, “…though he was in the form of God, [Jesus] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant…” Philippians 2:6-7

Jesus is not the Great Equator. He is the Great Uniter. Christ doesn’t sell us equality. He offers us Oneness and unity in Him. This may sound like semantics, but it certainly is not. More than that, Jesus came as a servant–to serve not to be served. I also do not believe God ever intended for men to “lord over” their wives or exert their authority as husbands in some controlling or unhealthy manner thereby demoting women to second-class citizens within their own marriages.

This is the example Jesus has given us to model within marriage when He said:

“You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A Third Way

The caricatures and opponents of both complementarians and egalitarians assume that I must be barefoot and pregnant–squelched and somewhat oppressed–the first delighted, the second disgusted.

But, both are so painfully wrong.

I find a measure of absurdness in both arguments. The Creator of the Universe chose the model of marriage to represent Himself and His love for the church. Of all the things in and upon the earth to symbolize Himself, He chose marriage–to signify His sacrifice, His eternal love, His jewel and treasure–us His bride. And yet we, in our limited, finite, ignorant little minds, deduce that marriages can only look one of two ways: good or bad, depending on your side of the aisle.

The vastness and immeasurable treasures of the Lord do not, and cannot, be forced into a right or left column. Somewhere, in the middle of these two sides is where I believe Jesus is and lives. As has been my experience in following after Christ, all too often, the mystery of Him lies somewhere in the middle–in the gray and the unknown and the beauty that we can taste and feel but cannot fully grasp…at least not yet.

My friend and author Frank Viola references this “middle” when he refers to the “third way” in his book Jesus Manifesto–a place that embraces neither the left or the right, but rather a movement forward. This resonates with me. I’ve always looked upon Christianity and all of its sects, theologies, doctrines, and man-made constructs and thought “There must be more…” And very often, that more is a third way.

It is a different way of seeing what God is doing and who God is. In his book of collected sermons, Strength to Love, Martin Luther King Jr. hints at this this idea when he writes, “…there is and always will be a penumbra of mystery surrounding God.”

Christians want to argue and debate over words like “headship,” “submission,” and “authority.” When I very much doubt that as Paul wrote these words he was idealizing or even referencing either an egalitarian or complementarian form of marriage. It’s preposterous to assume so. Instead, I suspect that Paul was referencing spiritual realities, where headship has little to do with decision-making and chores, but rather much to do with a kind of sacrificial love–you know, the kind Jesus displayed on the cross.

I would even argue that Paul is telling us to be open to something altogether new and different–not a marriage built upon man-made notions and expectations–but instead built upon the Foundation that cannot be shaken. A third way–because as Paul writes:

“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

This mystery, which we can catch glimpses of here and now, but which remains partially cloaked and forces us to reach beyond ourselves and our own ideals to instead seek the face of the One Who Knows. He has a perfect, glorious, and holy picture of marriage for each and every one of us, where His indelible grace abounds and His love abides. A third way…a marriage not bound by the philosophies of man or emotional ideals, but filled with His freedom, reflecting His love to all the world.

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Do you agree or disagree? Where do you stand on this subject? Are you a complementarian, egalitarian, both, or neither? Do you find these discussions helpful or hurtful?

photo credit

Because intelligent people, she argued, were always thinking. In fact, they never stopped thinking…and it was exhausting. She envied the dumb.

This resonated with me (not that I consider myself brilliant by any means)–the fact that I cannot stop myself from thinking. I read this the other day and smiled because it is me: “I’ve been overthinking about overthinking again.”

You’d think that thinking would prove more fruitful, but no. Instead, I wonder how I get here again and again. It seems so futile–the race and the running, when despite my best effort I find myself doing just that.

And that is part of the problem, my effort. I hate striving. I hate watching “Christians” strive for Jesus. Wondering what we can do for God instead of being with God. Working instead of abiding. Trying instead of receiving.

So when it’s my turn, I feel like a failure and a liar. A fraud.

All those sad thoughts that wrap me up like warm blankets making me forget His goodness. All those sad thoughts that infiltrate my mind making yesterday feel so present and tomorrow seem so hopeless.

And I drop a glass while unloading the dishwasher. “Shit,” I yell looking at the broken pieces of glass feeling helpless to do anything about it. Mine as well be me, I think–shattered into a million pieces. Then I know I’m in no state to minister to anyone. I’m the one who needs to be ministered to. And intellectually I know that’s okay. I know it’s okay and acceptable for me to have a bad day or a bad week, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty when I do.

Instead, what I want is to take off my armor of God and slip out of the Spirit for a moment and just be…by myself. I don’t want to think like Jesus, act like Jesus, talk about Jesus…for just a minute. Really…for one minute…

I want a break from God.

Yes, I love Him. Yes, I adore Him. Yes, I know that in Him and by Him and through Him all things have their meaning, but I’m tired. Tired of thinking, tired of pretending, tired of saying the right things at the right time. I wonder if He blames me or if He gets it. If He understands my desire to hit “pause” on this Christian life.

It’s not that I want to run away forever or abandon my faith. I’m not even having a crisis of faith, I’m just sore and achy from the burden of this life hidden in Jesus. I feel beat up, bruised and I know that if I could just stop thinking I’d gain some relief.

A break. Aloneness. Stillness. Apart from God.

But, I know it’s not possible and not only is it not possible, it’s ludicrous. One moment apart from Jesus would feel like a thousand years outside His tent. Because I don’t really want a break from God.

Really what I want, what I need, is freedom from “being a Christian.”

I need to be reminded again that I don’t serve an institute or a building. I don’t worship or fear man, but rather the Living God. And He will give me all the time I need to recapture Him and embrace this revelation, once again.

The Spirit will give me a break from myself, from my striving and trying, from my old patterns and unhealthy notions. I need only ask.

Because I can run, but I can’t hide. Jesus will find me. There are no breaks from God–only rest in Him and redemption. {sigh}…and that’s a good thing for those of us who can’t stop thinking.

Have you ever felt like you wanted a break from God? Or from Christianity? Or church? Or religion? What did you do and what did God do?

I’m insecure.

It makes me squirm a little just to write it. But it’s true. I am insecure.

Big deal, you might be thinking, considering each and every human being on the planet is probably insecure about something. I know, I’m not unique or special, but here’s why my insecurity really sucks…

…because no one knows (I mean, they do now since I just announced it on a blog). People around me assume that I have my ‘ish together. My hair is done, my house is clean, my kids are well-dressed, my marriage rocks. And basically, those are the things people take inventory of when deciding if someone has it together or not.

Oh, well, she’s not disheveled or drunk, so yeah…she’s good.

But, I’m not so good. Actually, lately, I’ve been bad. Actually, actually, I’ve been sad. I don’t discount post-pregnancy hormone shifts that wildly vary from me feeling like crying to me feeling like screaming are contributing, but it’s more than that…

I’ve just been feeling alone, or is it lonely? I can never tell the difference. And no one knows this. No one thinks to ask. And to be fair, I’m not blaming them for not asking. I mean, I look fine. I appear to be A-okay. No one would be the wiser, except that I had a meltdown.

That’s right, a week or so ago, I went to a party I was invited to by a mom I know. I don’t know her well and I didn’t know any of the other moms at the play date extravaganza that well. In fact, this is an all-too-familiar case for me. When it comes to friendship with other women, I am often left feeling like roadkill.

They see me on the road, but they don’t slow up or stop. They hit the gas and run me over…never looking back to see how I am…dead, alive, or injured.

I’m ashamed to admit that this was just your basic girl silliness and I was all swept up in it. So why did I go to the momma party?

Because I need friends. Because I have some kind of anti-friend-making force field around me. Because, since graduating high school, new friendships have formed as slowly as diamonds. Because I wanted to take a risk and be cliche and  “put myself out there.” Because I thought someone would care. I thought someone…I prayed someone…would slow down and see me.

In the end, I left the party crying. That’s right. I walked out trying to put on a brave face. I loaded my kids in the car and then I lost it. Tears. Check. Snot. Check. Ugly scrunched face. Check.I was leaving worse than I had arrived.

But then someone slowed down and saw me on the road. She didn’t hit the petal to the metal. She came after me. She asked the question: “What’s wrong?” and then she said the real words…the magic words:

“I see you, Nicole.”

She might never know what those four words meant in that moment, but thankfully, I do. No, I didn’t leave having made a bunch of new awesome friends. If anything, the divide between them and myself has grown wider, but I did leave knowing one thing…

..my God showed up for me. He sent her out to chase me down, to tell me that I’m not invisible. And just because no one can see my insecurities doesn’t mean He doesn’t. She saw me because He sees me. He knows I’m not roadkill, but that I’m alive…in Him.

Have you ever been made to feel like roadkill? Have you ever felt like God sent someone special, just in that moment, to encourage, inspire, or rescue you?

image props here

I, however, just as passionately disagree. Yes, I concede that God is enough–or rather He can be enough, but He isn’t meant to be “enough.” God never intended for us to walk through life with nothing but Him.

The discussion reminded me of this post I wrote quite a while back. Do you agree or disagree? 

Christians don’t throw around the word “happy” too often. We are cautious of the word because we think it sounds earthly, temporal, and fleeting. We much prefer the word “joy.” Joy is of God. Joy is rooted in something more than a mere mood or a passing event. In fact, the joy of the Lord is our strength, so says the Bible.

But, is it so bad to just want to be happy? I mean, happiness is still cool right? It’s okay for Christians to be happy, isn’t it? Personally, I’d take a big ‘ol plate of  happiness any day of the week.

Filling up your life with things that make you happy is healthy, and yet I know some Christians for whom this is especially difficult. They operate under the belief that God alone is suppose to make you happy…and nothing else. Happiness, they believe, should come from Him and nowhere else.

Is it sacrilegious for me to say that I disagree with that statement? God says we shall worship no other god. I’m all for that commandment but does that mean that God is to be the sole source of our happiness? Can we find happiness elsewhere?

Dennis Prager, my daily sage, says that God is certainly necessary, but not sufficient to supply all of our happiness. God Himself said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

He did not create one man and then leave him to walk through the garden alone for very long. Adam needed Eve. God saw this and supplied his need, not by more of His Holy presence, but in the form of a woman (women=happiness. I’m just sayin’…)

Prager puts it this way:

“However, as necessary as faith in God is for our ethics, our emotional and psychological well being, our sense of purpose, and our ability to stand firm in a world that pulls us in every direction, God is not enough. We also need people.”

Relationship and intimacy is what God created us to experience with Himself, but also with others. It is our relationships that in many ways provide us with comfort, counsel, hope, laughter, compassion. It is a friend calling just to say hi, a kind word, a hug, an affirmation that you are loved.

I cannot imagine having gone through life without those friends and family with whom I have been able to celebrate the big stuff, laugh over the funny stuff, and cry over the sad stuff.

People, however, don’t only need other people. We also need God, beyond measure. Prager points out that “Many theists and many atheists are so committed to their respective worldviews that they cannot entertain the thought that their belief does not answer all human needs.”

Humanists would argue we only need people. The religious argue we should only need God. The truth is we need both.

I would go one step further and suggest that we need not only God and others to supply us with happiness, but we also need things. That’s right–things. Now, I’m not suggesting we need more stuff. Americans, especially, have plenty of stuff, but we do need other things that can contribute to our daily happiness.

What makes you smile? What geeks you out, over-joys you, gets you jumping up and down? A hobby, an interest? For me, it’s politics, design blogs, serving, fashion, film, discipling, food, travel, this blog. These are just some of the things that bring me great happiness.

And the truth is, I need God, people, and outward interests to help bring me complete happiness. My joy, however rocky it may be at times is rooted in Chris yes, but my daily happiness comes from many places. I am so thankful to God that in His wisdom He created us to crave connectedness and closeness with others and to delight in the pleasures to be found in life. In doing so we gain a happier more fulfilling life and that I believe makes God happy, as well.

Do you think God is enough for happiness? Do relationships supply you with happiness as well? What else, besides God brings you happiness?

Mine include raiding my kids Halloween stash, eating other people’s delicious seasonal baked goods, and consuming lots of turkey and cranberries. Yeah, it’s all food related. Don’t judge me.

Okay, so onto this week’s Friday Findings:

The people who brought us the Bible on our phones–YouVersion, now has a new Bible app for kids. The homeschooling mom in me is geeked out about this, in fact. Looks like it might pretty good instead of really cheesy like most Christian kid things.

Sonny wrote a great post called “When We Were Asexual.” Don’t be fooled by the title either. It’s not what you think and it’s so good.

My husband is a go-getter. You know, one of those people who is full of ideas and then writes down goals and then achieves said goals. He even wrote a personal mission statement. I did not. But this post inspired me to maybe go ahead and write one anyway.

Can an Introvert Really Be a Pastor? The title of this post sort of got me all huffy. “Of course they can! For the millionth time–Introverts like people!” This guy has a different take and while I don’t agree with all of his points, it’s a valuable read.

Rapper Ja Rule Talks About How Hillsong Changed His Life. I wish he had just yelled “Jesus!” but I still love watching stuff like this. God can use any church, any pastor, any believer, any gathering to reach whomever He chooses.

These 20 Photos Are Going to Make You Cry (in a good way). They made me cry, but I’m a big baby so…

I wish this “Open Letter to Professional Church Staff Dudes” from Los really could be sent to churches everywhere. Brilliant.

Man, us moms get it so wrong sometimes. We are always hardest on ourselves, as these kids prove.

Have you guys seen BatDad yet? Because if not, you’re not living.

My favorite from the week. Warning: scantily clad women in lingerie. Totally purposeful and worth it though.

Thoughts? Reactions? Loves? Hates? Go!

I believe the “existence of denominations and factions within the church is the greatest deception Satan has ever committed against the church.”

But here’s the thing–I’m just one person. One little blogger in a giant blogosphere. One member of the Body sharing my thoughts and feelings. Like I’ve said before, I never want to claim that I have the corner on Truth.

None of us does.

So, with that in mind, I thought I’d turn the question over to you. You, my beloved readers, are always so thoughtful and refreshing. You challenge my thinking weekly and I’m thankful. But, I’m also curious as to how you would answer the same question:

What do you consider to be the greatest trick or deception the devil has ever pulled against the church?

There is no right or wrong answer. Feel free to answer openly and honestly. We will all be respectful and considerate in our responses and discussion (won’t we?). What has God spoken to you about this question?

I can’t wait to hear and discuss. So, please share…

]]> https://modernreject.com/2013/10/what-is-the-greatest-deception-against-the-church/feed/ 46 https://modernreject.com/2013/10/friday-findings-sinners-strange-fire-and-true-love/ https://modernreject.com/2013/10/friday-findings-sinners-strange-fire-and-true-love/#comments Fri, 25 Oct 2013 15:58:19 +0000 http://modernreject.com/?p=1249096391 Continue reading Friday Findings: Sinners, Strange Fire, and True Love]]> I gotta say, it feels good to be blogging again. I mean, I’ve missed it. I’ve also missed perusing the interwebs because when I wasn’t blogging, I wasn’t really online. So discovering again all the goodness there is to share each week makes me happy. Here you go:

The other day, I ran into a friend and he told me about a blog I needed to check out, so I did. It’s called Toward Fatherhood and I’m hooked. It’s funny, wise, original. I’ve added it to my daily read list. You should too.

Pope Francis, You Had Me at Hello, and Lost Me at Sinner. This was an interesting article and while I don’t agree with it all theologically, I greatly empathize with the author’s heart.

Why We Need Denominations. So remember when I wrote a post this week about denominations and you all got into it in the comments (which I love, by the way). Well a day later, I stumbled upon this post from Relevant about why we need denominations. Go figure.

This week, Rachel Held Evans celebrated her 10 year anniversary while Jonathan and I celebrated our 8th. She wrote about the myths versus the realities of marriage. I found myself agreeing with much of what she had to say. What about you?

A little Strange Fire humor. ‘Cause I had to. I’m sorry. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

A little Strange Fire seriousness and response from Frank Viola, in part 1 and part 2. These are the only articles or posts I have shared or will share about the controversy.

Sarah Bessey crawled inside my brain and my heart and my soul this week and put it all on a page. Brilliance and beauty in one, like she does.

And my favorite Friday Finding for the week: the video below. It’s a bit long, but trust me–it is so worth it. If this isn’t one of the most powerful and tangible displays of Jesus loving His Bride and this truth being represented in marriage, I don’t know what is. It’s True Love.

So which was your favorite from this list? Got anything fascinating, enthralling, or downright life-changing you’d like to share with me?

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