@azharahmad

Jet set, Go!

2012-01-27T06:04:00.001+08:00

It's funny to think that strangers have positive influences towards you. I've definitely experienced that when I was traveling in Europe for not more than two months.

Being in 9 countries taught me a lot, the people that I've met changed me for the better (or worst).

My first stop was in London, United Kingdom. Stayed in wonderful (party) hostel for a week before jetting off for Regensburg, Germany.

I can't thank my friend enough who has kindly let me stay with her for the whole 3 weeks in Germany, especially when food is provided!

Being in Germany for three weeks, and with my friend working as an intern there, it gets pretty boring.

Of course, I didn't technically stay in Regensburg for the entire 3 weeks. I took a 1 night trip to Prague, Czech Republic by carpooling with a stranger.

Yes, stranger.

It's sounds a lot more exciting when it's told like that, so I'll leave it to your imagination on how I 'hitchhiked' my way from Regensburg to Prague.

During the weekend, we decided to head off to Amsterdam, Netherlands where we took a gruesome 12-hour bus ride.

It was horror. Not because it's uncomfortable, but because the bus has the heater turned on so high, it melted my chocolates!

I know, not funny.

Anyway, we also took a day trip to Salzburg, Austria where it is so damn cold and wet. I think that was probably the least enjoyable part of my trip, being wet and cold.

The view is breathtaking nonetheless.

After saying goodbye to Regensburg, I head off to Munich where I took a 14-hour bus ride to Paris, France.

You would think, after the Amsterdam horror night bus, why would I take the bus again?

Because it's freaking cheap. Plus, there are no connecting flights from Munich to Paris. Or maybe there were but I just can't afford it.

Arriving in Paris with high hopes, it was definitely a disappointing trip.

I mean, you hear a lot about Paris from people and in films, but it's just not like that.

But the Eiffel Tower is magnificent. Still can't get that majestic building off of my mind.

A few nights in Paris is enough, in fact, I even spent an extra night at the Paris Charles de Gaulle airport for an early flight to Venice, Italy the next day.

Sleeping in airports is not a new thing to me and frankly, a huge saving when traveling on a budget!

The first thing I did when arriving in Venice is of course taking a gondola!

Okay not really, it's more like a water taxi than a gondola but hey, you don't know that!

So yeah, I took a gondola.

The bed and breakfast in Venice was small and sweet, but amazing. It's technically an apartment all by itself, with the landlord in the same house.

Spent a couple nights before heading back to London for New Year's Eve, but eventually missed the huge fireworks show in River Thames. More on that later.

Took another bus ride from London Victoria to Newcastle on the 2nd day of 2012 because a good friend of mine has kindly offered a free stay at his place.

Again, thank you so much for doing this. I just can't be grateful enough that you guys are providing me a free bed and meals! Indebted for life.

Newcastle was not my last stop because I had to fly to Barcelona, Spain on the weekend.

I was looking forward for Barcelona because I just have this weird obsession towards Spain and the Spanish-speaking community.

In fact, the locals even thought I was a local! That may be because of my skin. Brown and tanned. Yeah.

After Barcelona, I hop on to another flight to Lisbon, Portugal.

Arriving in Lisbon at night is pretty magical. I instantly had a click and feel right at home!

What should be a 2-nights stay in Lisbon turned into a 4-nights stay because I missed my flight to Toulouse, France.

I missed my flights a lot over the years, it's becoming a habit!

Flew directly back to London and then back to Newcastle. I know, I can't afford to stay in hostels because of the tight budget.

Stayed a few days before heading back to London (AGAIN!) and spent my remaining days at the same hostel I stayed in the first week.

When I left for Malaysia, it was the most heartbreaking thing to do because I thought about the people I've met and made a connection with, and how I will probably never see them again.

So I decided to make that my long-term life goal, that is to meet every single people I've met during my travels again.

P/S: Will blog about all the countries/cities I've visited in individual posts! This is just an overview :)

Back to reality

2012-01-26T10:59:00.001+08:00

Returning back home is such a painful experience for me. Don't get me wrong, nothing beats my hometown, not even Europe.

It's just that the journey has been such a good teacher, giving me experiences and knowledge that I know I will never learn if I stay in my own country. Everything here is just so, opposite.

Bookmark this site for stories from my journey. Trust me, there are plenty of interesting story to tell...

2011 Recap

2012-01-10T02:24:00.002+08:00

Decided to blog since I've nothing better to do in Barcelona.

Yes, Barcelona. No idea how I got here, went to bed in Newcastle and woke up in some hostel in Mercor de Palau.

Untrue.

Let's see what I've done in 2011, and what YOU didn't.

Lost about 40kgs (that's 88lbs for you Americans!).

Scored a high-paying job without having to go for an interview. Yes, people. How many of you can do that?

Canceled a backpacking trip to Cambodia. I blame the government for this!

Threw THREE drunken parties for my college mates. I'm proud of this the most!

Hosted some shitty university graduation video. Yeahhhhh

Cut ANOTHER close friend from high school completely out my life. This is starting to become a habit!

Backpacking in Europe, again.

Being an asshole. This has got to change this year since we're going to die but whatevs

This list is completely self-absorbed.

Yeah okay.

Another Eurotrip!

2011-11-30T05:30:00.001+08:00

In the meantime, feel free to scroll through the archive on last year's Eurotrip!

I will be available 24/7 on @azharahmad

The problem with reviews

2011-06-30T21:43:00.002+08:00

Okay. Just like any sane human beings out there, I would always find reviews online before buying anything major, or ANY things for that matter.

And by major I mean expensive. Something that you don't possibly need but you really really want it and can't afford.

Yet, you still want it. I know the feeling.

Here's the thing, reading reviews in blogs or watching video reviews are great because we can learn what other people think before we actually buy it.

Actually, the reason why I read and watch reviews is because I would like to know which idiot bought the stuff before I myself buy it and make a fool out of myself.

Sometimes, I would spend hours and even days reading tons of reviews and browsing all the video reviews on youtube.

The only problem is, out of hundred of reviews I've read, I trusted the ONE review that says ONE negative thing about the item that I'm about to purchase.

And that ONE negative review stopped me from purchasing it. Yes, even when there are hundreds more positive reviews about the product, I will somehow only believe the ONE negative review.

Does it happen to you as well? Or I'm a psycho?

I seriously hate it when this happens, as I was already hyped up and saved a lot of money to buy that item but was crushed by one negative review.

Even when planning for a holiday, I would always read reviews from former guests in several hotels first before booking.

After scrolling through a long list of positive reviews, I stumbled into a negative review about the bed being dirty.

Of course, that's already enough to stop me from staying in that hotel.

There's also one incident where I read reviews about which petrol station I should pump my car in! I have to admit though, this one's pretty bonkers so I don't blame you for judging.

The only thing that I couldn't trust is food reviews. Nowadays, reading food blogs is like reading a commercial.

Seriously, people should just stop selling out for free foods and give positive reviews just because they paid you to. I don't mean to attack anybody. You know who you are if you're hurt when reading this :)

The reason why I'm writing this blog post is because I'm on the verge of buying several electronic gadgets and couldn't make up my mind on which one to get.

I'm an electronic junkie, so bad reviews are usually not a problem for me. I'd like to think myself as a collector really.

Don't really use them, but I want them.

Yeah, sucks to be you don't it?

My pile of electronic gadgets look almost similar to this, except that it's more current.

What's the least asshole thing to do?

2011-06-28T23:19:00.002+08:00

I know I've been put in a lot of awkward situations before, especially when dealing with close friends.

Or just friends for that matter.

The way to handle these awkward moments is to be honest. It is not the least asshole thing to do, but you'll know the reason why.

1. Friends who aspire to be rockstars.

I mean come on. How many of you know friends who are most likely to be rockstars in the future?

Yeah me neither.

If your friend can really sing, then do everything in your power to make sure they get it.

Here's the catch. Make sure they can REALLY SING. I'm not attacking anybody here, and I sure don't mean any of my friends (I know some of you are really going to be offended by this).

I know a few people who can't sing, but were told by their family and friends that they can.

Sweetie, baby, this is why I'm not your friend. Not because you're a talentless motherfucker, but because you need someone who has the balls to tell you the truth that you can't sing.

When I tried telling the truth, people called me an asshole.

Dude, come on. Who's the bigger asshole here? Me destroying their singing career which they don't have any to begin with, or you convincing them that they have a talent and risk having them to chase nothing?

Watch this lady here and you'll see why it's better to not encourage your talentless friends ;)

2. Embarrassing friends, especially in public.

I know people are sometimes embarrassed when they're around me, but I'd like to think it's the other way around.

When my friends act like idiots in public, the best way is to just ignore it.

And I don't mean ignore as in don't mind them. Ignore as in get the fuck away from them.

I usually give a cold stare as a warning, but when it's too much, I'll walk away far from them.

Like really far.

I know, I know, this is such an asshole thing to do especially to your friends but they'll get it eventually.

If you don't do this, they'll think you thought it's actually cool for them to act like a dumbass in public.

It's not.

3. Social-networking friends (that are LOA).

This is probably common, since that now most of us has at least a Twitter or Facebook account.

The problem with this is, you'd think no one really cares about what you're updating online but some of us really do.

Or is it just me?

People tweeted about all the stuff they do, or didn't do and expect that no one on the other side criticizing them. Well you're wrong.

Emo tweets and live updates of what you're doing are two of the most common annoying things to do online.

I mean, who the fuck cares about your emotions? The worst part is, when someone ACTUALLY cared and asked, they replied with "Just leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it"

WHAT THE FUCKERY IS THIS?

First, you tweeted as if you wanted attention. Now when someone 'attended' you, you blew them off.

Believe you me, this is almost always the issue.

So the least asshole way to handle this is to just don't give a fuck. But if you must give a fuck, saying is better than asking.

There's a difference.

4. Ugly friends.

We all know that one friend who is ugly, but they never thought they are.

Fortunately for me, my friends are all good-looking ones (there's a slight chance that I might be their 'ugly' friend) so I'm very fortunate in this case.

Okay not really. I purposely cut all connections from my ugly friends. What a hassle.

Anyway, the way to deal with this narcissistic sons of bitches is to let them know that they're fucking ugly.

Of course, we've all tried this method but nothing seems to get this motherfucker down so we'll try another way.

The obvious replies that they give is usually "you're just jealous" or "whatever". Nothing will stop them if it's coming from you.

Get a friend of a friend to do the job for you. Like, get someone they never met before to call them ugly and shit.

It works 100% of the time. Your main goal here is to not crush their spirits, but to tone it down a little.

If you feel bad afterwards, DON'T.

If your friends look like this, wait, WHY ARE YOU EVEN FRIENDS!

5. Friends who brags.

This is almost similar to the above, just a little more annoying.

Okay a LOT MORE ANNOYING.

So you have a friend who practically has everything. This spoilt fucker, who happens to be your friend for some reason, likes to brag.

What else can you do?

Punch that bitch.

No body likes a braggart.

How I deal with racism

2011-06-27T23:55:00.001+08:00

So recently I have come to terms with what or where I am actually from, but other people just doesn't seem to get it.

Listen here, bitch. It's already hard as it is for me to explain my ethnicity, let alone my race.

This is how I usually deal with my, uhm, whatever I am.

People usually have a lot of problem with my accent, especially those who are just getting to know me. If I had a nickel for every time people ask me about my accent, I'd be filthy rich by now.

So here's the problem, most people are identifiable by their accent. Like where they are from, etc. Somehow, my accent and my 'features' are misplaced.

Visualize this; a black person speaks with a Chinese accent. Yeah, weird isn't it?

The look on people's face when they heard my accent, that was priceless. As if I didn't see their faces cringed as they tried to figure out where I'm from.

After a full 15 minutes of being creeped out, they finally have the balls to ask, "Where are you actually from?"

Of course; after I told them, they didn't believe me. As expected.

And then there were some who are too 'polite' and asked "Are you Malaysian? You don't look like one."

That was blatantly racist.

The whole conversation turned into how I'm a Malaysian and why I speak like I do. I never stopped explaining though, because I like it when people are interested in me.

I mean, who doesn't?

Another thing that they're confused with is my race. This is VERY rare, but it happened quite a number of times.

People sometimes mistaken me for a Chinese, even though I don't have the slightest Chinese feature on me. Not that I know of obviously.

Was it my squinty eyes? My unusually small forehead? Disproportionate ears?

*didn't mean to be racist here, but whatevs

I have no idea.

You might think this happened overseas where not all of them are familiar with the Chinese variety, but you're wrong.

This happened when I'm in my own country. I know, it's sad.

When I'm overseas it's worst. When I told them what I am, they have no idea what it was.

They thought I was making it up! So I told them the easiest answer, "I'm Asian."

They replied, you guessed it,

"But you don't look Chinese."

Story of my life.

Why your friends aren't really your friends.

2011-06-06T20:53:00.002+08:00

Maybe I'm paranoid, but if you feel the same please leave a comment!

Friends should always support their friends no matter what.

I'm not so sure about this though, because a lot of bad things I did weren't supported by my friends.

They're supported by my best friends!

Usually friends will tell you NO, or refrain you from making stupid decisions and 'claimed' that it's good for us.

And you'll always hear them saying, "I'm your friend, this is what friends do."

Frankly speaking, I pretty much will hate people who stopped me from doing the nasty.

Like, that's what parents are for!

Best friends are always considered the 'bad guy' for some reason.

The way I see it, friends will support any decisions we make, regardless.

Friends and their hookups.

Now don't you just love listening to your friend's conquests, even though you're on a dry spell for a year?

You probably won't think they're showing off, but you know, that's what friends are all about.

Accepting.

The way I see it? Just tell them to shut the fuck up.

Tell them they owe you at least that for the countless trips to the doctor's for STDs and herpes.

I feel bad for the guy behind LOL

Them, and their love advice.

If you have had your fair share of listening to your friend's advice on love or relationships, haven't you noticed they usually won't work?

Tell me how many relationship advice that ACTUALLY worked? Not that many.

If you like someone and your friends tells you to NOT do anything about it because they're afraid you're going to ruin the relationship, they can forever jerk off alone.

You actually had a chance with this girl and because you listen to your friends, that chance just went down the toilet.

Listen to the one who actually says, "Go for it. Don't be afraid of rejection."

It's better to live life saying "I did that" rather than "What if."

The angel and the devil

If you don't notice it by now, well, you should okay!

Among your friends, there are always the 'angel' and the 'devil'.

How to really distinguish between these two? Easy.

The ones who always tells you NO is evil.

They can never watch you do stuff they won't do, and usually they will try to uplift your spirit when you tried doing it.

This is actually one of the weird reverse-psyc thing which you'll never understand.

(Neither do I but, oh well)

When your confidence level is so high up, you'll actually lose the ability to do something and your friends know this, because that's your weakness.

You tend to fall whenever you're on top, and it scares them to see you more successful than you do.

The devil ones are the ones who tells you to make all the wrong decisions, but at the right time.

They are also the ones who pushes you down, making condescending remarks just to make you feel that you're not capable of doing anything.

Didn't you realize that the more you're being pushed, the angrier you get?

And the angrier you get, the more motivated you are to actually finishing something.

Trust me, your friends aren't really your friends until they stopped 'claiming' to be your friends.

I'm vlogging!

2011-05-28T12:07:00.002+08:00

Just in case you don't know, I already started a vlog as promised many moons ago!

So go watch my videos, like, comment and SUBSCRIBE!

I will upload videos as often as I can so click on this link

www.youtube.com/itsazharwtf

Hollywood is screwing us all

2011-05-27T20:30:00.002+08:00

I was hoping to watch good movies this year, you know, before 2012 doomed us all.

Some are good, but almost all of them are familiar. You'll know what I mean.

You can't go wrong with fast cars and hot chicas. But seriously a fifth installment? And now rumor has it there will be a 6th one.

Screw those mermaids! I'll never look at Ariel the same ever again.

I hope they don't mess with this one. This is the last installment. Hopefully.

CRAP. PURELY CRAP

It's basically the same premise; get super-wasted, wake up with no pants, no memory and trying to recall everything the next morning.

What can go wrong with an obese panda with Kung Fu skills?

Hollywood is totally running out of ideas when they decided to make a sequel of Sherlock Holmes.

The trailer's OKAY. But I'll still go and watch these cute, talking cars.

Acceptable, but people are complaining because Megan Fox isn't in it. My verdict? It'll be BETTER without her.

Didn't watch the second one, so I've no idea if they're related.

I'm looking forward to see Bella turning into a vamper. Will she? (I don't read the novels)

I watched the 1st one, it was GOOD! But as usual, the Scary Movie franchise destroyed it.

I've always been a fan of X-Men, so no matter what the reviews are I'll still watch it.

Anyone watched the shitty 3D before this? That was totally crap. The first three was seriously GOOD!

I rather they make Kim Possible (Disney cartoon) into a movie than this crap.

5 things people say they will do but won't

2011-05-23T01:08:00.003+08:00

1. I will become a vegetarian

Yeah right. Like this is ever going to happen. Giving up on meat is like giving up on life.

Well, maybe to me it is. I mean, after watching videos like this

FROM FARM TO FRIDGE

It's still not convincing enough to give up meat altogether. I mean, really? Vegetarian?

REALLY?

Did you give up eating McDonald's after watching Super Size Me? Maybe for a few days, and then you're back on the bandwagon.

2. I'll stop procrastinating.

This should be number 1, but I'll let it slide because this can actually be done.

Of course, you'll need to actually STOP saying you'll stop procrastinating otherwise it won't work.

I mean, come on! Procrastination is like a bonus ability. Like, anyone could do it without trying. It's just that some of us are too good in it.

3. I'll stop drinking/smoking.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!

To those who ever said this needs to stop saying this because truth is, YOU CAN'T BE SAVED!

4. I'll blog/vlog regularly.

I can't deny that I've said this one too many times but I just can't help it. I'll have the mood to blog everyday for a whole week and then abandon it the next for a whole month!

Well, the only reason I'm not blogging regularly is because no one ever reads my blog anyway. Or maybe I should stop thinking like that and keep posting?

I don't know. Maybe. (Oh but I JUST started vlogging! Scroll to the next post for the video!)

5. I'll delete my Facebook account.

Now, I don't think people can actually accomplish this. Facebook is already making it difficult enough to actually delete your account, they even give a 14-week period for you to think about it.

I've actually tried deleting my Facebook account but failed just after 13 days! Imagine that! 1 day left and I'll be free from Facebook's death grip but I just can't seem to bear the thought of losing the only connection I have with my friends.

Just so you know, I don't really have that many friends in Facebook.

In real life, I have none :(

Click if you intend to delete your Facebook account.

(Warning! This is a working link!)

Why you need a girlfriend and I don't

2011-04-25T22:56:00.002+08:00

I don't get it. Every time you're single, you'll suddenly see all these couples everywhere. No matter where you are, everyone seems to be walking in pairs.

Not only that, whenever I'm single it so happen that it increases the chance of me seeing people making out. Once, I saw dogs and cats doing it. No, not with each other! As in the dog with a dog and the cat with a cat.

That was tough to explain.

Anyway, to all single guys out there, read further to find out why YOU need a girlfriend and I don't.

Girls, look away. Blatant sexism ahead.

Reason #1: You're hungry. You need food.

50 years ago, women were good for one thing, and one thing only.

Preparing food.

I know this seem sexist, but who cares! Women nowadays don't even know how to cook so might as well just throw them back in the kitchen and start cooking.

I'm kidding. Women should just go to a restaurant and order us takeout instead.

Why I don't need a girlfriend for this: Hell yeah I can cook! Besides, I don't want nobody touching my food and poison the hell out of it. Better be safe than sorry.

Reason #2: You need someone to clean around the house.

Men are like dirty pigs. We hate to clean, but we hate dirtiness as well. So what's the solution? Get a girlfriend who can do it for you.

Most of us know that girls can sometimes be iffy about these stuff. You know, being a total hygiene-freak. Like they can't stand seeing the whole house get dirty so eventually they'll clean it.

Of course, after that there's a 90% chance of them leaving your sorry ass.

Why I don't need a girlfriend for this: I'm not usually dirty, and I'm capable of cleaning up after myself. Plus, my mom still cleans for me. I'm pathetic. Hey at least I confessed!

Reason #3: You need a companion to watch a chick flick.

Oh come on guys! You know you like seeing Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez's ass in the cinema. But sadly they act mostly in chick flicks. Now most of us guys know that watching chick drama is a major faux pas when expressing your manhood.

Fret not, you can watch it with your girlfriend when you have one! Just make sure you play the field a little; you know, make her work hard for it when you know you're going to watch it anyway.

Why I don't need a girlfriend for this: I love watching chick flick. I think my friends even know that. I don't need to hide behind a girl just to watch some chick movie. Besides, haven't you heard of torrent?

Reason #4: You need sex.

Now most guys would probably agree with me on this one. You can't just sleep with some girl you meet at a club. That's totally unsanitary.

So for health reasons, I suggest you get a girlfriend now and have sex with her all night long. Just squeeze the sex juice out of her. When you're done, get another girlfriend and repeat the process. Easy.

Why I don't need a girlfriend for this: I'm not a slut. And I masturbate occasionally. So my sex drive is not much of an issue here. The occasional one night stands are a must, but without a girlfriend there would be no cuddling. I just can't stand the cuddle. Enough said.

Reason #5: Actually, I only have 4 reasons so far. Feel free to add more if you have any.

In conclusion, ......... I got nothing. Just get a girlfriend and have sex.

That's all.

P/S: Please don't take this post seriously. I'm just trying to make sexism fun! Or not.

Stages to porn addiction

2011-04-24T22:51:00.003+08:00

Which stage are you in?

Stage #1: I NEVER watch porn

Which also means you're a big fat liar. Why in the world would you not be watching porn? It's the closest thing to heaven on earth, to be dramatic. Of course, you lied about not watching porn or dislike porn because you're afraid people will judge.

Truth is, there's nothing wrong with watching porn. Just admit it and we'll stop judging.

Stage #2: I watch porn occasionally, but never DO something about it.

Another big fat lie, but I'll take it. The fact that you never really do something while watching porn means you're not turned on. Or you're watching a different kind of porn. I mean come on! Who here never masturbates while watching other people engage in sexual act?

At least try to do something while watching porn. ANYTHING! Get a drink, eat Snickers, or you can tweet about you watching porn. I'm just saying.

Stage #3: I watch porn with friends and laugh about it.

This is acceptable because I have actually done this before. You know, it's not exactly a good idea watching porn with your friends, especially if they're girly-girls!

I tried watching porn with my female friends and there is no need to hide my boner. Well truth is, I didn't even get hard. All they did was commenting on how painful it is to watch a 9" thrusts inside their womenly part.

What a virgin!

Stage #4: I watch softcore porn.

What this actually means is that you watched sex scenes in movies. THIS IS NOT PORN!

Stage #5: I watch porn in a private browser.

Finally you're admitting to watching porn. There's no need to be ashamed of this stage. Frankly speaking, I found people who watches porn in a private browser to actually be hiding something. Maybe they're watching BBW, or S&M, or even Necrophilia.

Please don't google those words. I won't be held responsible.

Stage #6: I watch porn, but only the previews.

That's right. You can't afford to pay monthly access to porn sites so you watch either the tour or preview. Although it's only 30 seconds long, you'll still be able to jerk off by repeating the video over and over until you're 'done'.

Isn't it a hassle to keep switching hands to hit the replay button while jerking off?

Stage #7: I watch porn, the downloaded ones.

Either you downloading the whole DVD, or just a few scenes from a low-budget sex studio. Better than paying, am I right?

I still believe that no man should ever pay for porn. No matter how good they are.

Stage #8: I paid for porn and get free access to hundred other sites.

Piss off! There's no way to prove that since your credit card statement will only show CC-BILL instead of 'Yeah-I-Watch-Porn'.

How do I know that? I paid for porn once. Mom found out because I used her credit card. Not a smart move.

Stage #9: I am a porn actor/actress.

Congratulations! You just earned my respect!

P/S: I do not condone watching porn for those below 18 years old and please, do not email me asking which free porn sites I used. I will never tell.

Unintentionally creepy

2011-04-21T21:26:00.001+08:00

So, who wants to get these dolls?

Don't go breaking the rules!

2011-04-20T13:19:00.002+08:00

I'm one of those people who like to watch scary movies, but deep down inside I'm terrified.

Whenever I watch scary/horror/thriller movies, I always have this rules of thumb that movies tend to break.

Rule #1: If you hear strange noises, leave it alone. DO NOT INVESTIGATE.

For some reason, girls especially; they like to go and investigate scary noises happening either in the attic or at the at the basement. When the floor started creaking, you know something is about to happen. But somehow these idiotic girls/guys went to investigate the noise and that's the end of their acting career.

Rule #2: Do not move into a house that looks scary.

Another major faux pas in horror movies. I really don't get why people would move in to a house that already look scary and haunted, but insisted on living there just because the rent is 'cheap'.

Rule #3: Do not run upstairs when being chased by 'something'.

This is just common sense. RUN THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR BITCH!

Rule #4: Name your kid properly.

This is what I hated the most, scary movies with kids in them! And most of the time, the kid is the killer or possessed or something. Of course, when you have a kid called Lilith (the demon girl from Case 39) or Esther (the horny kid from Orphan), there are going to be something wrong with them! Name your kid Crystal or Apple or something cute!

Rule #5: Don't try to be a hero.

Most likely this person will be killed first. The hero is usually the one we never suspect and sometimes, there will be no hero. SO DON'T TRY TO BE ONE!

Rule #6: Black people always dies first.

I don't know why, but they do. They always do.

Hope to inspire at least ONE person.

2011-04-17T20:19:00.006+08:00

For some of you, this might be boring.

But I hope I could at least inspire ONE person from this.

I never really thought of losing so much weight in so little time. My friend even reminded me that I used to say "I will never sacrifice good food to be skinny." That might be true, but I don't want to be skinny.

I want to be healthy.

So far I've lost all the excess weight and I still have 5-10 more KGs to lose before reaching my ideal weight. I won't be too skinny, but I won't be too fat either. I'll just be a healthy person.

Going back to how I lost all the weight, I never really remembered how or why I wanted to be healthy. Before this you'll hear me saying stuff like "I hate skinny people" or "I will never exercise". Of course all of that changed so suddenly without me realizing it.

I don't think I went to the gym because of peer pressure. Sure, my friends and family have called me fat before but that never really get to me. In fact, I liked being called fat! I told my friends that if I'm not fat, I won't have this bubbly personality.

I consider myself as the joker/comedian among my friends, so being fat is important. Why? When you say something mean, it'll be funnier because you're fat. But when you're skinnier, you'd just be a douche.

I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Anyway, I actually didn't try that hard to be healthy. It was a fairly easy process. All you need is a determination and an iPod (will be explained later!)

I took that brave step to sign up for a gym nearby my hometown in KK, and thank god the receptionist didn't give me the 'look'.

You know, the OMG-you're-so-fat-you-can't-enter-the-gym look.

I started by doing cardio on a treadmill EVERY DAY. Yes, you'd see me walking on a treadmill every morning in the gym and nothing else for a month. I wasn't even running.

Then I started to download a few songs that has a very high beats per minute (bpm). I reckon the first song I used was from an episode of Glee. It was a cover song of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by the Vocal Adrenaline. (Sorry, I'm a Gleek! Can't help it.)

I started to lift my feet and my body, and ran. I ran as hard as I can and then I ran non-stop for an hour. I would increase the speed from 5km/h to 7km/h and now, I can run up to 12km/h.

It was a blast!

However, food was probably the hardest part in losing weight. When I'm at home, my mom couldn't stop cooking nice food and I can't resist eating them. Besides, my mom won't let me starve.

Eventually I explained to her that I need her help if she wanted to see me healthy, and she looked at me like she never loved me before. She stopped cooking for me, and started to go on a diet with me.

I love you, mom.

Back to the main point, I lost 1KG in my first month! Imagine that. Now, I lost a minimum of 5KGs in a week! I do not condone losing weight that fast, but I can't help it because my metabolism rate has increased rapidly!

I do not lose weight by dieting, I lose weight by eating more everyday! I eat good food, healthy food and no junk food or carbonated drink intake.

My only advice is, do not give up on exercising and DO NOT DEPEND ON THE WEIGHING SCALE.

Losing weight is one thing, but the one you really need to watch out for is your body fat percentage. Sometimes, you can't lose weight but your body fat percentage will decrease.

In the end, be healthy because you want to and do it for you. Don't let anyone else get in your way.

This is me when I was overweight. 112KGs. (somehow this is the ONLY whole body picture of me that I could find!)

This is me now. 80KGs.

Anyway guys, leave me a comment if you wanted to know more about my weight loss, or if you wanted to share something.

Gym archetypes

2011-03-23T14:32:00.002+08:00

This is solely based on my observation in two different gyms so if this doesn't happen in your gym, START LOOKING!

1. The Gorillas

Look at those veins!!!

Basically Gorillas are those who have super muscular body that no one wanted to relate with. They have muscles in every part of their body with a body fat percentage that is almost 0%. And no, these guys are not even body builders. That is in a different archetype.

2. Juiceheads

Oh damn she's cute! NOT!

I know Snookie coined this term first in Jersey Shore where she kept calling every single buff guys 'Juiceheads', but she's right. Juiceheads are those (usually dudes) who kept a bottle of all the supplements in the world to help them accelerate their muscle growth by their side at all times. These dudes will take one sip for every reps they do and to be honest, it's kind of annoying.

3. The Cum Face

I've seen worst cum-face expression than this dude.

This is probably one of the funniest ones to lookout for in your gym. These people will 'try' to lift more weights than they should've and end up doing jacked up facial expressions. Most of the time, they will do their sex face or as I call it, The Cum Face.

4. The Dog Walker

Look at her so happy. Which is terrifying.

This is not that funny, but I like these people. They keep it steady on the treadmill, they didn't really do any weight-lifting at all or touch any of the equipments in the gym other than treadmills. Forty-five minutes later, they will still be there.

5. The Biggest Loser

Uhmm, yea.

I'm not trying to condemn the fatties, but once you saw them at the gym, you'll be like "Hell no." It's good that obese people are trying to be healthy, but these TBLs are not one of them. They would run (or walk) on the treadmill for roughly about a minute and switch to the recumbent bike for less than 30 seconds before they realize they can't do it. I mean come on! I was obese before but at least I'm not lazy! Which brings me to the next one...

6. The Sweaty Beast

Imagine him going the gym. Ugh

I used to be one of them, until I discovered the free towel service. These guys/girls don't really care if their sweat is all over the bench or any of the gym equipments that requires them to lie down or sit or touch (okay basically it's everything!). Little advice, I once accidentally lay down on a bench and then I realized that it's wet and sweaty and smelly. I thought to myself I don't care since I'll be sweating anyway. Two weeks later, I got chickenpox and I was 99% sure that I was infected through that sweaty guy.

7. The Starer

I know, it's not a really brilliant nickname but I've no idea what else to call them. The nickname sums it all, they like to stare at other people. I think I fit in this category best because otherwise, I won't be writing this post!

If you are offended or fit in any (or all) of the categories mentioned above, I'm not sorry. In fact, I'm just trying to make exercise fun! And don't worry, you're not alone. All of us might have been in one of the categories somehow. You just don't realize it. Yet.

I am officially a nomad

2011-03-22T17:45:00.002+08:00

I actually am.

For the past 21 years of my life, I have been moving around loads of time. I still remember when I was 2 years old, my mom grabbed me and my sister and we moved to an old house.

That lasted for a week because there was a huge flood in KK and our house is gone. (The only reason I would remember this is because my mom told me.)

After that, we moved to a better looking house but some crazy guy (my ex-stepdad) threatened to kill us and we moved. When they eventually got married (blackmailed, of course), my mom managed to buy a house that we lived in until now.

There was also a lot of time in between where we had to move to my cousin's house for months just because that crazy ex-stepdad gone completely mental. I'm talking Lindsay Lohan kind of mental! Or something.

Imagine coming back home from kindergarten (that's 6 years old!) and as you step down that school bus, a crazy-looking man is waiting for you at the door yielding a PVC pipe. Then, imagine getting whacked 'till you're almost lifeless. How's that for mental?

Anyway, up until I was 13 and ready to move out (or going to a boarding school), I kept changing high schools too. That lasted a while (3 years to be exact) and then I had to transfer to another high school.

I, on the contrary, wanted to keep everything!

When I was 18 years old, I thought being nomadic is a thing in the past. Unfortunately for me, it's a family curse. I transferred to 4 different colleges in the span of 2 years!

I'm 21 now, and I've managed to stay in my current university for nearly 3 years! Was the curse over? IDTS.

Since my college is far from home, I had to rent a room nearby. So I did. In those 3 years, I moved out from an apartment twice, now moving out from a house to another apartment. Four different places in 3 years!

Damn.

By the way, the crazy ex-stepdad is gone. Don't worry, I didn't murder him or anything. I wish I did. He filed for bankruptcy and is even sued by the government. Who said life isn't fair? :)

Gym, assignments and chinese accent?

2011-03-21T19:15:00.001+08:00

So I decided to treat this blog as a blog blog, not travel blog. I found the specific category to be too snobbish.

Yeah, blogging about which country you've visited isn't exactly a sure way to make friends. Or maybe it was because the way I blogged about it? I don't know, there's just something about me that makes people think I'm a show off.

Maybe deep, deep down inside I did try to show off a little. F**k it!

Anyway, I've been dragged into a world where skinny, beautiful people rule, and the fatties are the slaves. Yup, I'm that person now. A person that goes to gym to look pretty/buff/whatever. Blame me for not wanting to be ugly. Pffft

So far I've lost 22KG (that's about 49lbs to you non-metric users) in a span of 3 months! That's quite an achievement since I weighed at about 112KG (don't expect me to convert this for you) all my life. Don't you think I deserved an immunity for hating the fatties? No? Okay.

I'm currently busy with college assignments so forgive me for not updating this blog. To be honest, I don't have anyone to apologize to. Google stats showed I have only three readers this month! Even I ROFL'ed!

You're probably wondering about the title. Well mostly the 'chinese accent' part, right? This couple of weeks I've been developing a serious Chinese accent (not the one that Russell Peters highly popularized!) and people actually found it amusing rather than offensive. Or they're actually offended but can't really confront me about it because YOU DON'T HAVE BALLS.

IDK.

It is long overdue

2011-03-13T11:54:00.002+08:00

(Source: Last.fm)

Indeed. This is a very lazy blog.

I haven't had any time to update my blog because I've been so busy. There's always something that I had to do and the list keeps adding it seems.

Oh f*ck it. I'm just a lazy ass blogger. Truth is, I've no motivation to write. This post will be here for a very long time.

At the moment, please follow me on Twitter. You'll see me there more often.

Or not.

Airport floors are my second bed

2010-08-23T04:26:00.003+08:00

Many budget travelers would know what I'm talking about.

There's nothing better than sleeping at the comfort of your own, well, airport.

I mean why not? It's free, and loads of people are doing it!

People with no money of course. I think it's really cool to be able to sleep on the airport floor while everyone is doing the exact same thing.

Stansted Airport in London

If I had to choose an airport as my second home I would probably say Stansted Airport. I've slept here a couple of times and it's comfortable.

Stansted Joke: The only airport where your drinks are more expensive than your flights.

All the cheapest flights across Europe are flying early in the morning! That's why you HAVE to sleep at the airport or you risk missing the flight.

Just make sure you pick a nice spot near the pillars where the janitors can't disturb your sleep. They can be annoying sometimes as they're really adamant in cleaning the spot you're sleeping on.

SUPER DUTCH DELUXE!!

2010-08-19T22:18:00.003+08:00

You never can put a price on foods. This is the only thing I dare spent on loads of money on without regretting it. Unless they were terrible of course.

While I was traveling in Amsterdam, food is just everywhere. Walk for 5 minutes and there's always something new to try. At least all the walking helped burn some extra calories.

Look for this sign in Amsterdam

Febo is probably one of the best express foods I have ever eaten in my whole life. Better than McDonald's, KFC and Burger King COMBINED.

I was actually more interested in 'how' we buy it rather than eating it.

This is how you purchase them. Like a vending machine!

Just insert coins in the slot and choose your food! They have burgers, croquettes, hotdogs and many other weird Amsterdam food you could imagine.

These are the ones that killed me. Cheese croquettes!

If for some reason you just had to eat in McDonald's like I did, then you have try this one. I don't know, whenever I traveled I just had to try the one thing we have similarities in every country.

Super Dutch Deluxe Burger Meal!

It's bigger than any of the McDonald's burger I've ever seen and the meat is just superb! This cost me around 5 Euro for a large combo. Cheap!

Bakery Heaven!

2010-08-19T22:03:00.003+08:00

Beware, this post will make you drool! All the pastries and chocolates I can find along the streets of Amsterdam!

There were hundreds of bakeries in Amsterdam and all I can do is take pictures. They were expensive for a tiny slice of heaven. I was on a tight budget and had to make a decision whether to try everything but risk having no extra money for souvenirs, or try just one.

This is probably one of the most difficult challenges I faced so far. Choosing ONE dessert.

After a grueling hour later, I finally settled with this one! Look at all the layers. Every bite was sensational.

The creamiest Tiramisu ever!

If there's a place I could go twice, I'd pick Amsterdam. All the foods (and prostitutes) are definitely not to be missed.

As a matter of fact, I'll be going to Amsterdam again in December 2011. Here's hoping the next trip would be better.

What you'll find in Amsterdam by foot

2010-06-19T21:34:00.003+08:00

This is the creepiest museum I have ever step foot in. Cost you 5 Euro if you have a discount coupon. You can get them at your hostel!

This is actually a giant, mobile ashtray. Seriously.

If this is Malaysia, it would be heaven.

Space cake myth: Unraveled!

2010-06-19T21:25:00.003+08:00

If you don't try the space cakes in Amsterdam, then you've never been to Amsterdam!

I went searching for a coffee shop that sells space cakes over the counter, but surprisingly it's hard to find! I read the reviews online where we actually have to ask for the 'special' menu because they can't advertise the space cake.

But don't worry, there's an easy way to determine which shop that sells one so you don't have to embarrass yourself asking.

The trick is in the signboard itself, if it says 'coffee shop' then you're in the right place. But if it says 'cafe' then it's just a normal cafe.

The standard price for a space cake is 5 Euro

The coffee shop that we went to is very small, and less people. The lady who owns the shop was friendly, but I was 100% sure she was tripping!

Everything she said almost didn't make any sense, and she's talking as if she had an orgasm or something.

Space cake and earl grey tea. Total 7 Euro

If you happen to try a space cake, be aware that the effect will only kick in after an hour of eating and will last for about 5 hours.

Make sure you plan your 'trip' well. During the 'trip', the effect will vary according to people and the space cake itself. You'll either feel funny, scared or induced in euphoria. Other people won't notice the difference.

The cake tasted normal except with hemp seeds in it!

The only downside of eating space cakes is you won't remember how your 'trip' went. I should've recorded mine!