Molded

I've Moved

2008-07-22T16:51:00.002-05:00

I've made the move...I hope you will still follow me. You can find me here!

Feeling a little insecure?

2008-07-21T20:11:00.003-05:00

Yesterday a dear friend Coni shared on her blog a story about her past, her insecurities and the amazing God that saved her in spite of it all. What she didn't know when she typed it was how much it would minister to me at the very moment I read it. Then after I read her blog I ended up on the website of Elevation Church. I decided to listen to Pastor Steve Furtick's sermon (not anything I have ever done before). He was talking about...take a guess...better yet, just go listen. But just in case you don't take my advice - He was talking about insecurities. He was talking about embracing your uniqueness. He was talking about David...the son least likely to become king...so insignificant that his father didn't even bring him in from tending the sheep when the prophet came by to ordain one of his sons to be the new king of Israel. Talk about an inferiority complex, your dad doesn't even think you are worth being seen by the prophet.
So many times in life we see people through our own glasses, our perceptions and experiences and forget that what we see is only a piece of the puzzle. What we see is only a part of who they are and may not really be what we think we are seeing. The truth is if I hadn't gotten to know Coni, I would have NEVER in a million years guessed she had struggled with insecurity. My perception was she carries herself with such confidence and strength, she has such a cool job, knows such cool people, she is beautiful, talented, and loved what in the world could she possibly insecure about? If we can just remember that all we ever have to be is who He made us to be life would be so much easier. That's just where I am right now and thought I'd share.

A Look Back!

2008-07-18T10:26:00.003-05:00

Just to show you all my sense of humor and to keep myself humble I decided to share this video that one of my dear friends from college put on his blog. He and his wife were and still are amazing people. Some people say that the best times of their lives were in high school, that was not the case for me. I did however love college. I made some wonderful friends that I still treasure dearly, grew a lot in the Lord, and well...had fun.
Sadly to say, I did however fully embrass the 80's and as apparent from the video that was filmed sometime in the early 90's, I didn't want to let the 80's die either. Thankfully the Lord has delivered me from my 80's hair at least for now!

14 Years Ago and my perspective on men

2008-07-16T07:23:00.005-05:00

Do you remember where you were 14 years ago today? I do. I was getting ready for one of the biggest days of my life. I was excited, unexplainable calm, and very naive...but 14 years later I am more sure than ever that it was one of the best decisions of my life....14 years ago today I married my wonderful husband.
I have thought a lot recently about the imagine of men portrayed on our TVs, in our music, and sadly even in our churches. It is not a pleasant picture. I think of shows where Tim the tool man Taylor where Tim is this incredibly naive man who thinks he can do anything and yet is wife is this brilliant woman who loves him anyway. Don't get me wrong, I have had plenty of laughs at Tim's expense but I started thinking why is that funny?
For years the enemy had us believing women had no place, men were in control and women could do nothing. When that lie wore out, he just changed it up. Now he has us believing that women are the smarter, tougher gender, and really in control. What? You don't think that? Then let me ask you this. What if we portrayed women in TV shows the way men are being portrayed or better yet what if we changed the context to black and white rather than men and women? What if we started cutting down people based on religion rather than gender?
When was the last time you went to church on Mother's Day and heard a message preached about what Mother's are doing wrong? On the flip side when was the last time you went to church on Father's day and heard a message on what men weren't doing right? The later seems to happen on a regular basis. When in our nation did it become such a bad thing to be a man?
I agree I don't want a man completely oblivious to my needs, that mindlessly goes to work, comes home, sits on the couch and demands I serve his every need nor do I want a man that bows to my every whim, leaves me to make the decisions, and is afraid to stand up for what he believes in if it is different from what I think. I know there are men out there like that, but I think we have forgotten the power of our words. T
he Bible says there is life and death in the power of our tongue. Others have said we are what we say, presented the idea of self-fulfilling prophesy, or maybe notion that people will live up to your expectation. Maybe if our nation would stop portraying men as stupid, they would stop acting stupid. Maybe they would step up to the plate and be the man and father God had called them to be. Maybe if we would honor good fathers as much in this nation and our churches as we honor good mothers our men would begin again to take their rightful place of authority, not to lord over us, but to love and protect us as Christ loves and protects his bride. Nothing about Jesus is wimpy!
I have a wonderful husband who in many ways is a better spouse and parent than I am. We learn from each other and he honors and respects me, but I don't want to be the head of the house and I'm not to keen on believing I married a stupid man who needs me just to survive without killing himself. I am sure our purpose in life was greater than that!

Sunday Evening Brain Dump

2008-07-13T21:28:00.003-05:00

Change sucks!
Change is great!
We have about figured out our contribution to the talent show
Very traumatic weekend...witnessed a fatal motorcycle accident...really messed me up.
I realized how little my husband's family has been to the hospital and how often my family has been when I was the medical expert in the room at my father-in-law's surgery. (Keep in mind I don't do hospitals or blood)
Change is very hard!
Change is good!
Very excited about The Rock's Got Talent...ideas keep coming!
I missed Design Star because we were still at church...may try to stay up til 1:00a.m. to see the repeat. Don't know if I'll make it.
My son is taller than I am and weighs more than I weighed when I graduated from college.
I had a dream about tattoos last night...very strange (see previous statement - I don't do pain either!)
Rearranged the family room last Thursday...Caleb and I moved the big, huge, old piano all by ourselves.
My back is quit right anymore.
Did I mention I don't always like change!

The Rock's Got Talent

2008-07-08T18:19:00.002-05:00

The Rock's Got Talent or so they say and to celebrate the 20th anniversary we are having a talent show. Of course the kids are all excited but I was thinking what could we do as the Fuller Five...something to plan and prepare for as a family. I'm stumped. So then I thought about my blog friends. Maybe they would have some ideas. So here is your chance. If you've ever wanted to see us do something really crazy (especially Johnny) throw out your suggestions.

My 9th Grade English Teacher Part 2

2008-07-07T14:35:00.003-05:00

So four years after leaving Mrs. Porter's class I hit college English class, 5 hours away from home in a place where I knew no one, a lot scared, very homesick, and incredibly lonely. I was not one to speak out in class. I was pretty shy anyway but to admit I didn't understand would just be too embarrassing. My college professors didn't ask if I needed help. They didn't ask if I had questions. They assumed if I was smart enough to be in their class, I was smart enough to do their work. They just handed out the assignment and expected it to get done. And well....it did.
You see four years earlier I had this incredible teacher that pushed me,challenged me, made me understand things and do things I didn't think were important. So when the time came for me to dissect the assignments my professors dished out, discuss intelligently, and write persuasively about anything their hearts fancied, with a little work I was able to figure it out on my own and come out with a pretty good grade. (I wish at this point in the story I could say I had 2 As in English - but some lesson's take a little longer to get - doing my best all the time was one of those lessons. Bs in college were still OK with me.)
Without Mrs. Porter pushing me to be better, teaching me how to do things I didn't know how to do (and didn't really care to know how to do) I would not have been able to do as well in my college English classes. She taught me so much about writing, I actually made a C on a history test I that in all honesty I should have failed. When I got my paper back there was a note from the professor stating that my essay had nothing to do with the question. It was obvious I had not payed any attention in class and knew nothing about this test, but my paper was so persuasive he had to give me a C for effort!
So if you still can't figure out where I'm going with this I'll help you out. For the last 10 years or so (I think)I believe we have been in Mrs. Porter's English class (only it was Pastor Abbye's worship class). She has been an amazing leader who has taught us incredible things. Things at times we really didn't act like we wanted to learn. Things we didn't think we could learn and things that just didn't seem important. She has taught us more than just music, the lessons we learned under the leadership of Pastor Abbye are, well the truth is, we will probably never fully realize them all. But what she taught us has prepared us for today. She saw the potential that was undeveloped and pushed us to grow in our abilities. Not willing to be content with what we already could offer, and unwilling to except excuses for why we didn't do our best, she prepared us for moving into a place that would require more of us.
I remember sitting in that college classroom, overwhelmed, lonely and a little homesick, thinking "what have I done? I can't do this stuff." But when I took a deep breathe, re-evaluated the situation, I realized I was not only prepared but excited about what I had to do. I still had a lot to learn, but I had a great foundation of knowledge to build on and was more capable than I realized. I loved college. It was some of the best years of my life. It brought new found freedoms and yet with that freedom came new levels of responsibility. It required more of me, but allowed me new opportunities. I wasn't expected to know it all, but I was expected to know and do more than I had ever done before.
I'm just saying maybe we've moved from high school to college.

My 9th Grade English teacher and God's conversation with me today

2008-07-06T15:44:00.004-05:00

So today they made yet another announcement at church...they took interim off the title of David Pray, and so now, well, I guess we are stuck with him (or maybe I should say he's stuck with us). Either way, it is an awesome thing to be stuck with...I am soooo excited.
It has been very different than what we are used to, but it has been exciting and challenging and today (when I was having a moment of distraction during Pastor Ron's wonderful sermon) I started thinking about this whole transition in a different light.
I thought of this English teacher I had in high school. Her name was Mrs. Porter. She is one of the few teachers that I actually remember her name or anything she taught me. She was an amazing women, incredibly talented and indescribably passionate about Shakespeare. I am pretty sure she served for our military as a backup for boot camp in her off time as well because she showed no sympathy, no compassion, and absolutely no tolerance for excuses or lack of effort.
Before entering her class, my English teachers had always praised my writing. I was pretty comfortable with my ability and had no desire to get better...I was content to be an A/B student on little to no effort. I mean what teenager do you know is going to work harder if they are already getting good grades.
When I met Mrs. Porter, let's just say she was not so easily impressed. She kicked my butt, put me in my place, and pushed me. If I saw anything that even remotely resembled a B on my paper that year I did a "thank ya Jesus" dance. I tried, worked hard, and still made many more C's (a few other grades I won't mention)than I thought I desired. I'd look at other's papers and think "my paper was better than theirs, so why did we both get Cs.
The truth is I probably desired every C I got and then some. Maybe my paper was better than someone elses, maybe it wasn't but what Mrs. Porter realized that I couldn't see at the time was that what I had produced wasn't my best. And she saw something other teacher's before hadn't seen, she saw the potential that needed to be developed.
When I entered her class, I hated Shakespeare, understood little about diagramming sentences, and didn't think any of that mattered because I was a pretty good writer. I left her class impressed and comfortable with Shakespeare, much more confident with diagramming sentences, and a lot more aware of my need to continue to develop my writing skills.
God was making a connection...it made perfect since to me, but if you are completely confused, you'll have to come back later to get "the rest of the story"

What I've been doing

2008-07-03T08:18:00.008-05:00

I know you were all wondering what in the world I have been doing since school got out and I've only posted a couple of times...and well, I've been thinking the same thing. Then my friend Carolyn over at foolishnotions posted about this and it made so much since to me.
In my heart of hearts I love to be creative. I come up with a million and one ideas. The implementation of those ideas is a little more challenging. I think that is why I love teaching. I come up with awesome, creative lesson plans and then I have a teacher's assistant to help make sure I implement those lesson plans. So now that school is out, I have to find something to challenge my creativity and it usually becomes my house. So here's what I've been up to the last 3 weeks.
Week 1 - Volunteered at the church (played office turnover). At least I think that's what they called it. Went to the beach, and went on vacation.
Week 2 - Worked at school with my friend Debbie Saperstein on stuff for next year. I did at least get paid for part of that time.
Week 3 - Decided my room looked unfinished but realized I really had no money (since I have no income in the summer) to fix it up...thus creative challenge. So here is where my week has been.

First I cleaned out the closet, added 2 hanging shelves and then a whole set of other shelves to better utilize the space. I still haven't finished - I intend to organize my clothes by color after I finish going through them all. That led into cleaning out and reorganizing the entire bathroom, then I went on to rearrange the bedroom, come up with an ultimate furniture placement plan (when I can afford it of course) and add some paint to the walls.
I have also cleaned out and reorganized the pantry, the kitchen cabinets and the laundry room. Never mind the laundry is piled up to the ceiling (it doesn't do anything for my creative juices). So that's what I've been doing, what about you.

Avoid EVEN the appearance of Evil!

2008-06-27T19:01:00.003-05:00

So I've been experiencing some blogger's block and somehow even though school has been out for 2 weeks, I've been working away at school about 1/2 of that time so blogging has been a little frustrating recently but there is nothing like a little salt water, beach breeze and sand in your face to clear the fog and refocus your attention.
Johnny got off work early today so I picked him up and we headed to the beach with the kids. As we sat there watching the kids be wrestled down by the pounding waves, enjoying the massive amounts of sand blowing into our face and doing what every native Wilmingtonian does at the beach - people watch, a conversation erupted about relationships.
The truth is we both work in an environment where there is a wide range of belief systems, philosophies of life and religion, and lifestyle choices...and our response is important. I realized the more we talked about a certain situation and discussed the heart of Jesus - what Jesus actually did, like eating dinner with a tax collector, asking for water and sitting and talking to the adulteress women at the well...we as Christians have been anything but a representation of Christ.
I grew up in churches always hearing "avoid even the appearance of evil" but I'm pretty sure some villager could have walked by, seen Jesus talking to the women at the well, and gone back to the city and raised quit a few eyebrows with his version of what he saw Jesus doing. "Hey, man I told you that Jesus wasn't the real son of God. I saw him today. He sent his disciples off on some errand and while they were gone He was hitting on Betty Joe. You know that girl down the street that's living with that guy. The one that has had a million husbands. He took a sip of her water and about the time he was getting ready to kiss her, his disciples walked back up. See I told you he wasn't the real Messiah!" Pretty sure that was not avoiding the "appearance" of evil.
I have a great friend. I dare say she is one of my closest friends but we have very different opinions about politics and religion. We had a few discussions about it when we first met that didn't end so well (when I didn't realize how stupid and religiously arrogant I sounded). Since then we have realized how much we do have in common and I love her dearly. We have gotten to the point that we laugh when she says "We are great friends, we just avoid conversations on religion and politics." The last thing she needs is another religious person shoving "Jesus" down her throat. She's heard it all, lived it all, and been hurt by it all. What she needs is a friend.
The truth is I've learned a lot from her. I've learned a lot about my profession through her challenging some of my thoughts. I've learned a lot about being a friend. I've learned a lot about life. I've realized how incredibly self righteous so many "Christians" are and how stupid and obnoxious we sound to regular everyday people.
I've decided to quit worrying about what "religious" people think...the truth is the only people that are going to care if I'm sitting down with a friend at the bar or going over to a super bowl party at a "sinner's" house are the crazy religious people that supposedly are already saved anyway, so who cares? We need to go and be a light, be a friend, let what they see be a loving, gracious, every merciful God who sent His son to die for them...who came not to condemn the world but save the world and loved us even before he "fixed" us.

Our Vacation Photos!

2008-06-21T22:11:00.001-05:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2008-06-19T18:43:00.003-05:00

Finally, I have Internet! What in the world did we do before Al Gore invented the Internet? So let me catch you up on what we've been doing.

We finally arrived in Woodbridge around 4:20 a.m. Wednesday morning...when we arrived it was truly a roach motel. I slept in my clothes. Thank God we only stayed for 3 hours.
Got lost for almost an hour trying to get to down town Washington D.C.
Finally got there...toured the White House, walked to the Washington Monument, the World War II memorial, then to the Vietnam memorial where we got a rubbing of Johnny's uncle that he was named after
Johnny got pooped on by a bird
Left Vietnam memorial, toured the Lincoln memorial...I fell over trying to take a picture, but got a good pic.
Ate some ice cream, headed to Grandma Fuller's house
Learned more Fuller history than my boosterless brain could hold
Headed over to Nana and TeTe's for a great meal, lots of laughs, and a decent night sleep.
Today we headed to Water Country USA, spent about 6 hours riding water rides and walking on concrete....feet are a little sore
Now I'm sitting in my lovely hotel, enjoying some Internet, TV,and a comfy bed.
Tomorrow it's Busch Gardens

Brain Dump

2008-06-17T11:57:00.004-05:00

It is Tuesday and already it has been a relaxing, productive, exciting week.

Yesterday we volunteered at our church to kick off the beginning of our vacation - talked to our kids on the way about being a blessing since God had blessed us with the opportunity to go on vacation. We got about 20 minutes worth of good work out of them. Then they found Reagan's toys. Oh well, I guess it was the principle and 20 minutes for kids is like a thousand hours for adults right?
Had a meeting with both *"big men" in the *"big" office. It was very exciting and well since they didn't let us get to the second item on our list and we only get 1 meeting every 4 or 5 years, I guess we will be staying at the Rock at least that long! :)
Woke up at 3:00a.m. this morning WIDE awake. Tried to figure out why, tried to go back to sleep, then I just started being productive. I did however have some new insight on what we talked to the "big men" about yesterday and then I got really excited.
Went to the beach at 8:30 this morning - enjoyed a few hours with the family.
Stopped by the not so friendly Northeast extension of the New Hanover County Public Library - checked out books for all the kids - something to keep them busy on the road.
Looking forward to vacation - it would be too cool to get to meet the president. (Never hurts to dream big!)
Looking forward to Sunday - church was so exciting on this past Sunday. The past two weeks seem to have just had an air of excitement about them that I don't remember except when a guest speaker was coming. I think our church rocks.
Trying to figure out if I will have enough nerve to encourage my middle child to ride the roller coasters - we are both a little chicken when it comes to heights.
Excited about our late night drive - kids sleeping, me talking and asking a million times "What are you thinking?" Only this time he can't fuss at me because he'll need me to keep him awake.

*big men - the lead dog and the soon to be lead dog

of this church

*big office - the office of the lead dog.

One Prayer

2008-06-15T16:08:00.003-05:00

Today we heard the message by Craig Groeschel, pastor of this church, and he spoke on Father Make us One! It was his prayer for the One Prayer series going on across the world. It was awesome. He talked about 1 enemy, 1 heart and 1 purpose. When I came home Dances with Wolves was on. It made me think about the message we heard this morning - Father make us one.
I'm sure you're asking how did Dances with wolves make you think about church...well, it was because I remember the emotion this movie would evoke in me when I watched it. The same emotion that would drive me to tears in my history classes as we watched movies about the holocaust and the civil rights movement. The emotion - an indescribable love for people groups that I don't know, people that are viewed as different, that have been destroyed by another's pride, arrogance, and quest for something better.
Then it hit me, isn't that what we as Christians do on a daily basis? Isn't that what Craig was talking about this morning? How many times have we prayed "God close down that bar. Destroy that strip club. God judge these people who have done me wrong." In our quest to find a better life, a more Christian community, have we forgotten that the bar down the street may be someone's livelihood, that strip club may be what puts food on the table, that person who has done you wrong might be crying out for help. Is there a better way to pray? Is there a way to show God's love without loving the sin? Is there a way to say "God turn that bar into a place that brings you glory. Save the people who own that place, help me show the love of Christ to the community I live in."
But the truth is we can't love the lost if we can't love each other. We can't show the lost the love of Christ if we are so busy beating up our own brothers and sisters who maybe dress a little different, talk a little different, don't share all the same beliefs on issues.

2008-06-14T10:54:00.003-05:00

What can we learn from 5 girls at a 10 year old birthday party? A lot! About half way through the party last night it hit me that these kids were playing together, eating together, talking, getting ready for bed, and just having fun without any thought to what color the other one was. The truth is this is nothing new to my kids seeing as how they have a black father and a white mother so they are certainly used to that idea, but the other kids didn't come from that same background.

I listened and watched their interactions as much as I could all night. They really all talked and played together. They didn't pair off, they didn't argue (and they even had a discussion about politics - why I don't know, but it came up.) They just had fun. I'm not sure the thought of race even crossed their minds, I know it didn't affect the way the got along, or anything they said and that alone was enough to make my heart melt when I realized it.

How do we raise a generation that lives their entire life with this attitude? We as parents do exactly what these parents that brought their children to my house did. We allow them the opportunity and make the effort to purposely extend our children's friendships beyond their own race and allow them the opportunity to form their own ideas. You see this generation is not burdened by what many of our parents or even ourselves experienced with very blatant and public prejudices. That is not to say prejudice doesn't exist but it certainly doesn't exist in the manner it did 20 or 30 years ago and well...the one thing I really believe about this generation is that they have strong opinions and if we provide them opportunities to see people for who they really are( and not who we have thought they were) then they will have the ability and determination to continue the change that began in this country many years ago.

I didn't grow up in a segregated society and thanks to my parents some of my closest friends in school were of a different race than I was. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to have friends that weren't white, so I did. The thing I didn't do was go to their houses or invite them to my birthday parties....I just didn't think about it and I guess it still wasn't a fully accepted thing. But when I gave my daughter the ability to invite whomever she wanted, my heart leaped when I realized they weren't all one race. How did we do this? We provide her with opportunities where she is surrounded by children of all races so that she can form friendships with people regardless of the color of their skin.

Keep Your Underwear On!

2008-06-09T21:36:00.004-05:00

Yes, you read it right, it reads Keep your underwear on! If that is not shocking enough, now imagine your pastor standing up in front of the congregation and preaching a sermon entitled Keep your underwear on. Well I watched Franklin Jentezen tonight preach an incredibly powerful sermon during a youth conference on TV tonight that was entitled just that. As I listened to his message, I thought about something that hit me over the weekend - sexual intercourse is to this generation what French kissing was to my generation during our teenage years.
I sat down to watch TV the other night with my husband at 9:00 (keep in mind my bedtime during the school year is 10:00 so it wasn't like we were watching late night TV and it wasn't even MTV or VH1 we were watching), but a commercial came on that disturbed me deeply. It was a guy and girl in the bar, she turned him down, he went to the bathroom, got a TROJAN condom, came back out, and the 2 of them walked out together. What in the world? It hit me like a ton of bricks just how casual sex has become in our society. It is no different than a simple kiss anymore.
If that isn't enough, have you tried watching TV with your kids recently? How many times have you had them ask what ED is? I have lost count. Once again, my kids go to bed at 8 or 8:30 so why are these commericals on at this time. Do you think we have a society obsessed with sex?
Franklin Jentezen broke it down to the basics. We let all 3 of our kids watch it and it was awesome. I had to explain a few things to the younger two, but I bet they won't forget that message.

It's not about us!

2008-06-02T19:29:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, Pastor B shared a word in his series iserve that simply stated said "Church isn't about you anymore." This really wasn't a new concept for me since God dealt with me a few years ago over not moving to Arizona. If you want to read more about that go here. Having said that, I thought he did an amazing job at presenting the concept of it being about "the others" that we are to be concerned about by using the Russian nesting dolls and it made me think back on my life...to one person in particular. We will call her Jill for the sake of this conversation.
I met Jill at church when she rededicated her life to the Lord. I was asked to disciple her once a week for something like 12 weeks. Every week I would go meet her and listen, go through the Bible study and think "This isn't making any difference. Really why am I doing this? I don't think she really cares anyway!" But I went, full of doubt and unbelief, but I went. I watched Jill over the next couple of years involved in our college ministry, still I had doubts as to whether she was really sold out or not. I put on a good front, at least I tried. I hope she didn't know how much I doubted that she was really sincere. Don't get me wrong, I prayed for her, I loved her dearly but I doubted whether it would stick.
Today she is on the mission field in a place where she can't even proclaim to be a christian. She has devoted her life to the work of God at the risk of it costing her her life. I'm glad God wasn't swayed by my unbelief, but that should be proof enough that you never know what "the others" will look like and what kind of role you might play in their lives.

2008-05-29T14:57:00.002-05:00

Ever have moments where you just want to crawl in a hole? I'm having one right now. Parenting is hard and today is one of those days I feel like I suck at it. I remembered yesterday afternoon that today was Courtney's end of year party and didn't know what to send in for it (at least I remembered before it was over). So I thought I was doing better.

Then as I am leaving school, I get a phone call from my husband letting my know my son has been suspended from school for pulling another child's pants down and if that's not enough when I get to school I am met by yet another teacher telling me that my son will not be allowed to participate in chorus performances because he (along with 2 other kids) is being a disruption to the entire class. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I went from being angry to being completely overwhelmed with sadness. What are we missing? I am a teacher..I do this for a living, I spend my entire day doing for other kids, thinking I have done what I needed to for my own yet somewhere along the way I'm missing something.

I think I'm at a loss for words, feeling a little overwhelmed and unprepared, Reminded of how my parents must have felt when I failed and how badly they must have hurt, unsure of how to feel - angry or sad, unsure of what to do, yet I am confident this did not catch God by surprise or leave Him speechless.

iServe

2008-05-28T17:56:00.000-05:00

I had an idea Sunday during church (and yes I was listening, I can just multi-task). Our vacation has been shorten. We will still do the same things we were planning, we will simply make the trip shorter to save on hotel stays and thus be able to afford the outragous gas prices. Originally we were leaving Sunday and coming back on Friday. As of right now we will be leaving on Wednesday and coming back on Saturday.
This means several things. First, we will not be missing Sunday service. We will have a lot of riding to do in a few days and we will have 2 days before we leave with nothing to do. I am certain we could spend those days packing, planning, washing clothes, and well watching TV, but I got a better idea during service. What if we spent those 2 days teaching our kids about what it means to serve. My first thought was that we would go visit our old college pastor's and see how we could serve them...and we still might, but then I had a light bulb moment - why go away, when you could serve right here.
So here's my idea, subject to the approval and need of our pastors, our family would spend those 2 days before we go on vacation to serve at our church in whatever capacity is needed. The only catch is that it has to be something that the kids can be involved in. I don't want to leave them to go volunteer, I want them to learn the importance of serving and I want us to spend the time as a family serving...why waste your time relaxing, find a place to serve!

Whew!

2008-05-25T21:11:00.003-05:00

I'm back from my two week bloggy break and feeling much better. So I bet you are wondering what could have possibly kept me away from Blogville for 2 entire weeks...are you ready - here's what I've been up to.

I have survived tech week for the GAFA production Creation. It was amazing and well worth the stress of washing and straightening my girls hair everyday for a week.
We hosted Pastor Abbye's baby shower/cookout yesterday which was so much fun but given the fact that my house looked like a tornado had come through from last weeks tech week rehearsals and production - clean-up was a little stressful. Johnny and I were both still alive and at least semi-speaking when everyone arrived. It was, however, so much fun...the kids had a blast, we had a blast and the sun even came out for us.
I've been killing flies in my house since the party started. (using a 14 year old fly swatter that is duct taped together. We thought Megan had killed and then resurrected a fly yesterday but today I realized there was a hole in the fly swatter too.)
I have completed 18 progress reports and 18 LAP-3 assessments in spite of the fact that my hard drive crashed and I lost my flash drive with all my information on it.
I have attended several baseball games, school meetings, conferences and field trips. Now I am 9 days away from being without a kids in my classroom for 2 months.
I have been digesting what is happening at the Rock - which by the way is nothing short of amazing.
I've been digesting what the Lord is showing me (by the way Pastor B - remember that conversation we had you guys over for last year and then we never had...well...it's probably time)

I've missed the you bloggy world and I'm glad to be back.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T15:59:00.003-05:00

Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I wish I could blame it on something as simple as pregnancy but I'm pretty sure it's a little of Holy Spirit conviction mixed in with my humanity. My morning started off with burning the ham, yelling at everyone that was in earshot and then heading to church once I regained my composure (after apologizing of course), then I spent the rest of service fighting back tears.
At church today we Pastor Bryan read letters about four mothers written by their husbands and children. As I listened to the words of these men and children my heart ached. The words that were being read were incredible words, but they were words that made me realize how out of perspective my life has been. I am well aware that I was a spoiled brat growing up, my friends in college even picked on me about how spoiled I was and it didn't bother me because I knew it was true.
I know God has brought me a long way and done amazing things in my life as I have matured in age, but today I was made greatly aware of my spoiled status as it pertains to my family. I listened to all the things these moms do and thought about the fact that I don't do many of those things, yet complain when I feel taken for granted for doing the things I do. I am quick to take my frustrations out on my family because "they don't see the stress I am feeling", I am slow to acknowledge their needs but quick to point out my own. I get overwhelmed and disconnected with my kids when life gets too busy and taking time to do simple things like paint my girls fingernails or work on a school projects are chores to me rather than joyous opportunities to celebrate a few minutes to spend with my kids. I realized today how un-unique my situation was - every mother is busy, every mother gets tired, every mother feels neglected and taken for granted sometimes, every mother goes without to meet the needs of their children, every mother struggles to have a moments peace in the middle of chaos but the difference between a great mother and just a mother is the attitude with which they do those things. I have to confess I realized today I have missed the great mark more than I have made it, but that's OK because I serve a God of second chances.
I know this sounds like another selfish rant about me, but I have to get it out. I have to acknowledge that I have failed in a lot of ways. I am not a terrible mom, but I'm not the mom God created me to me nor am I the mom I want to be. I have no expectations of a "Leave it to Beaver" family and household but I do know that God has put his finger on this area of my life for a reason. So today has been a day about self examination, repentance, and reflection. It has also been a day of new awareness and appreciation for the blessing of my family. They have put up with an incredible spoiled wife and mother for a long time and I was oblivious to the fact that it was me that had the issue not them. God help me be the mother and wife you created me to be.

Happy Birthday to Me.

2008-05-06T20:30:00.003-05:00

OK I have to say that in the 14 years of my marriage, I think this was the best birthday. It wasn't even because the gifts were sooo out of this world amazing, although i loved everyone of them, it was really because of all the thought that went in to it. My husband worked hard, planned ahead, and prepared to make sure that everything would be taken care of.
We ate dinner at Olive Garden (Johnny and I agreed it's not our favorite and we would go somewhere else next time), I got a gift from each family member, then we went shopping at Mayfaire, got some ice cream from Coldstones and headed home.
The cutest thing was the effort and excitement that my kids have wrestled with for the last several weeks. Comments made like "Mom, which restaurant is your favorite - McDonald's, Burger King or Olive Garden?" and when I asked them where their money was I was told "We are saving it for something very special." The older kids getting upset with the youngest for letting small thoughts slip. They have been great and there were lots of surprises.
It was a great way to end the 8th anniversary of my 28th birthday! I love my family.

NEXT - WOW!

2008-04-27T15:52:00.003-05:00

It was quit a day at church. I went with a NyQuil hangover so most of praise & worship I felt like I was having an out of body experience. But as we sang the song "You are Faithful" and I contemplated the whole light thing within me (just so you know I didn't have an issue with the lights - I can worship with our without lights I was just thinking over things) the Lord took me back almost 19 years ago. I thought about what an incredibly broken and desperate place I was in when I came to this church and what an amazing work God has done in me. I thought about what I needed and what my family needed to heal and how God used the McGee family to be an instrument of healing in our lives. Then I thought...I wondered how many desperate, broken people are sitting in the congregation today and how many of them are watching us thinking the things I was thinking 19 years ago.

Then Pastor Ron got up to share and though I was not expecting his announcement, the second he started I knew what was coming and I was not surprised. There are a million things running through my head, but here's one that stood out to me more than anything. When I was that 17 year old girl broken and desperate, Pastor Ron & Norma helped my parents walk me through with Godly council and Bryan and Jennifer befriended me. They loved me, spent time with me, never compromised, but never gave up one me. They were 2 of my best friends in a time when every friend I had ever known abandoned me.

Then I had this thought...today Pastor Ron and Norma did a momentous thing and we watched Pastor Ron's words fulfilled "One day I will sit on the front row and cheer on the next generation". I want to join hands with Pastor Bryan and Jennifer so that they are not alone when broken hurting people come into our church in need of help and I want my kids to join hands with their kids and befriend the hurting broken kids God is bringing in our doors they way they befriended me. So that one day, when it is time for the baton to change hands again, we can be prepared to become the cheerleader and helper to the next generation.

Super Saturday

2008-04-26T21:50:00.004-05:00

What a wonderful, exhausting day.

Went with my mother to Plant Place and got a few flowers.
Went with my husband to pick up the first free load of mulch thanks to Craigslist.
Unloaded 1st load, went by myself to pick up second load of free mulch and pick up the girls from production practice.
Unloaded 2nd load of mulch, took a break to eat an icecream cone at my mothers.
Planted my flowers from Plant Place and some other plants I had not planted yet.
Got my hummingbird feeder back out.
Took my son to go load the 3rd truck load of mulch.
Loaded 3rd load, went to Wendy's to pick up super, came home, ate dinner.
Unloaded 3rd load of mulch.
Straightened both girls hair.
Watched Evan Almighty with the family while eating popcorn and spilling water in the living room.
Took a shower!

What a great day! The only 2 down sides I can see is that my body aches like I can't even explain and I think I caught my daddy's cough...the same cough I had for 2 months! I took some Nychol hoping I can lose it while I sleep.

Don't throw stones, your house might be glass.

2008-04-25T14:55:00.003-05:00

What a day! I took 18 Preschool students to a story telling event that didn't even keep me engaged (I think they liked it more than I did though). I came back and had this great plan for a surprise party for my student intern only to have it blow up in my face as I had a student completely loose control. Principle was at a meeting, Special Ed coordinator at meeting, former Behavior Specialist at the same meeting...I stood with my intern in the behavior specialist room trying to keep this child from hurting themselves or either one of us as I watched the clock tick as my plans for the great surprise party began to unravel. It didn't turn out the way I had planned, but we made it through. As I am driving to pick the kids up I am remembering that 2 of my kids had student interns too and we hadn't done anything for them...starting to feel bad. Then as we are traveling home, my daughter informs me she didn't have anything but popcorn for lunch because we didn't turn in the hot lunch form for April and she and her dad had forgotten to fix a lunch this morning....feeling even worse at this point. I try so hard to juggle everything but fail so often. As I contemplated this on my way home, I realized as a teacher it is so easy for me to make judgements about parents. I see everything they are not doing for their child in my classroom. I see the newsletters that go unread, the homework that doesn't get done, the volunteer time that they committed to going undone, and then I thought...that's me! I know I do my best to meet all the deadlines, due dates, requirements and remember all the parties, field trips and birthday parties in between dance and baseball, church and my job but the truth is most days I forget something. How many times have my kids teachers thought "And she's a teacher!" I almost wanted to pull off the road and cry as I realized how many times I have made judgements about people and never walked a day in their shoes. How many times have I made a judgement about someone forgetting to turn in permission slips, or come in and volunteer and yet I have no idea what the rest of their life looks like....we all live in glass houses, I'm going to try to remember not to throw stones anymore.