icollectmoments

Home via film

2016-05-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

If you're my friend on facebook, you probably know that I recently had my first experience with death of a family member. I will never forget how the day of a funeral goes. I won't go on writing too much about it here... I brought my film point-and-shoot with me that day mainly because it's small and compact, I wouldn't want to attract any attention, I simply wanted to document some details of such a day. Along the walk, I also took some images of the neighbourhood I grew up at, the old shophouses that I used to go for tuition classes as a kid (the picture above), my grandparents' house that I used to go every week after my drawing classes... In a way, these are all home. And then of course photographs of bits and pieces of the funeral itself. All the images are straight out of this $75 second hand film camera and I couldn't ask for more.

Lots of thoughts, experiencing many changes (all the time)(but exciting!), couldn't put them in words at the moment. I love how everytime I develop my film after a few weeks, I'm reminded again of how the month goes since most of the time I've forgotten what are taken in the film roll. Would really like to post and document more thoughts/travels/film. Many more plans in my head that need to be planned out. So much that I'd like to do, so little time. Learning to take a break and recharge. Till then... hope everyone's half of 2016 has been well!

6 days of unplugging and reconnecting

2016-01-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

I came back from my trip to Cambodia a week ago, mainly to Hariharalaya, a 6-day yoga & meditation retreat where we woke up 6.30am every morning for yoga and meditation, and another set in the evening before we had our dinner. There was once that I did yoga 4 times a day, it was... memorable, to say the least. I've travelled without my parents & family quite a bit since I was 17 - New Zealand, South Africa, Italy, London, Laos, Scotland... every trip meant something to me, I could never say I prefer one trip over another, there were always, always, first times in all my travels, yet this one has to be one of my most memorable trips, I'd almost use the word important, because this was the first time I jumped into the unknown alone and made friends only when I was there, and it was so great.

I was initially a little worried because I'd be spending the new year eve and the first day of the year far away from my friends and family. Would I feel homesick, or lonely? Will I go well with the people there? I decided to give it a go despite all, it might be a good way to end the year, give myself some time to reflect on the past and perhaps make plans for the coming year? Although I must admit I didn't do too much of either, I simply enjoyed every single moment when I was there that I didn't quite feel the need to think about the past nor the future.

There were about 20 of us from roughly 10 different nationalities. We were waken up by gongs every morning, we had movie night, game night, we did yoga and meditation near one of the ancient ruins, in front of a massive lotus pond, we walked around barefoot all day, whether it's on the concrete floor, grass, soil or sand, we danced around the fire and let it burn away the past we wanted to let go of... You can do whatever you like during the afternoon, you can read by the pool, take a nap in a hammock with the wind and sun as your company, play the musical instrument in the art and music room, play card/board games in the game room (although not many of us did this...), or you can cycle out to explore the villages nearby. All of us throughly enjoyed the slow living without our phones buzzing, we would sit around and sip on the signature Hariharalaya chocolate-banana-coconut smoothie (which is called the Chocolate Heaven, and did taste like one) or coconut water, talk to each other, and then read a book in a hammock until we fell asleep to the peaceful noise of nature.

What I really liked about the yoga classes we had everyday - our yoga instructors constantly reminded us that it wasn't just about the physical practice, perfecting your poses or comparing how you did with your neighbours; we were reminded to pay attention to ourselves, what emotions emerged when we were doing certain poses, especially the difficult ones. Were we resisting it, were we hating it or were we unconsciously comparing ourselves to others? Be aware of your feelings. I had a private yoga class one afternoon with the head yoga instructor, Bianca, and I told her about certain poses I was bad at or afraid of trying, and felt shy when I saw people could do something I couldn't (one example would be the shoulder stand damnnit I really wanted to be able to do it), and I wondered if it had become my fear to even try it because I was afraid to fail before I even tried, and asked what was her advice. She told me I really didn't have to have all these judgement on myself; if I had to do a modified poses, it did not mean that I wasn't good enough, simply because everyone's body was different. I sometimes didn't realise how harsh we could be to ourselves.

Honor your body. Non-judgement and awareness were something we practiced and cultivated a lot there, not just to other people, but ourselves. It's also the one thing I'd like to make sure I bring back with me even after I left there.

Meditation were also great, you finally got to sit with nothing but your thoughts (just so you know, meditation can be done in any comfortable positions, though you'd want something that'd keep you alert, you don't have to sit with difficult positions to meditate!) and you watched them come and go without doing or reacting to anything, just observed what were there and accepted them. It gave me the time and space needed to remember what's really important, and what truly mattered (and not mattered).

Another thing I truly enjoyed during the retreat, it allowed me to let myself be the introvert I'd always been. Many people who first knew me almost immediately assumed that I was an extrovert, or they found it hard to imagine I was an introvert. I worked hard to blend in, and I am glad I am not too much of either side. I could go out and have fun with friends, but I would also truly appreciate time of just me and my journal, a book or my camera. During the retreat, I allowed myself to withdraw and head out alone with my camera on a bicycle if I felt like it, when everyone was talking joyously in the dining hall. Sometimes you'd want to stay because you didn't want to miss out on stuff people were sharing, but I allowed myself to go if I wanted to. And the awesome thing was, no one would ever question "Why are you leaving?" or making you stay if you simply chose not to. And it made this place and these people so special, we let everyone do what they want to do and not change, judge or stop them.

I was exposed to people from all walks of life, sharing their experience, journey and what brought them there. It was really such a unique experience to be celebrating the new year with a bunch of new faces that became friends just a few days ago, with lots of gratitude.

I had a few days left after the retreat and stayed in a backpacker hostel with Terryn, an Australian girl who was going to be a doctor next year and explored the ancient temples with her and another Italian girl, more pictures and posts on the New Year's Eve and Angkor Wat soon! Posting and looking at these photographs alone made me dream of our time there again... I might be back some time when I feel the need to recharge again. Oh yes...

2016-01-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

Polaroids from our pre-party at our place

No words required, really. Absolutely one of the best (party) nights - although in a very different way than what I usually prefer. Anita and I had to spend hours the next day cleaning up the mess at our place in our sore body, almost regretting dancing too much the previous night, but to think about the fun everyone had the night before, it was kinda worth it. We all deserved to have some fun, forget about who we are at work and life and not care about the consequences of breaking things and dirtying the house - not too often, but for a night, it was absolutely more than ok.

Siem Reap - Day 1

2015-12-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

I am sitting on the bed in Siem Reap as I am posting these images fresh from the oven, I only reached here half a day ago that my luggage wasn't even unpacked yet. I'd always wait until after a trip that I start post-processing the pictures to be posted, but with me working full-time these days, many posts, photographs and stories never see the light of day, so... no more waiting till the perfect timing. It sucks, when I'm not blogging I can always compose what I want to write in my mind so beautifully, what I see, smell, hear, experience in my whole being... yet whenever I face this screen and its blank space, they're nowhere to be found.

That aside, Siem Reap so far... has the most chaotic traffic that I have ever seen in all the countries I've been to, I stayed at the street for quite a while just to try to capture it. It's amazing how all the vehicles can be at different directions on the roads, yet they seem to know how to work with it.

I was walking alone trying to find a shop where I could get some passport photos taken, totally clueless, when my host's sister drove by and saw me, we could hardly communicate, but thank god a smile and body language are usually enough to get some help. She decided to fetch me to one of the shops in town on her bike. Oh, I had almost forgotten how much I loved being on a bike/bicycle, it just feels so... carefree. Not to mention what a great experience it was being on a bike with a local in this chaos on the streets.

I took advantage of the fact that I was traveling alone, not needing to wait or accommodate anyone else, I would sometimes stand somewhere, compose an image, and just wait for the perfect moment to happen, or that guy to turn his head to me and snap! And you could see some pictures of the local drivers underneath, who were all more than happy when they saw me with a camera pointing at them, which is also what usually makes me happy to be photographing strangers and people when I travel - to see someone smiling and happy seeing their pictures taken.

Tomorrow I will be off for a yoga & meditation retreat with no internet for a week. So whoever is reading this, Happy New Year in advance. For more personal growth and strength to take whatever is coming to us the next year!

Caleb & Brenda - Wedding

2015-10-14T20:18:00.000+08:00

Finally getting around to post this set of images I shot for a couple that I might not know too deeply but personally admire. Caleb is the founder and main photographer for TouchStudios, who I have been working with for a few times. The first time I worked with Caleb, I was surprised by how down to earth, humble and kind he was. He's given me great opportunities and has always been patient and helpful along the way. While the first time I met Brenda, I thought she was gorgeous, incredibly sweet and friendly. They both always have this positive vibe and energy around them that make people feel... rather relaxed around them (if it makes sense?)

And so when I was first asked to shoot their wedding, I couldn't be more honored and happy, although I was also nervous - as every photographer would be when being asked to shoot another photographer's wedding. The wedding was beautiful, fun and emotional, the kind that made me in tears while listening to the speeches and stories from their friends and families although I might not have known them for long. It's usually my favourite part of photographing a wedding - to hear stories about how people meet as strangers to falling in love, getting through obstacles, how much they have gone through from the very beginning to where they are now... Those are usually the moments that make you think - wow, isn't life strange and wonderful and incredible at the same time?

22 and a half

2015-08-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I last took my own portrait in the mirror like this with my camera, I remember how much I used to do it when I got my first camera years ago. This time though, I had to tell myself to pick up the camera while I was at home to take this picture of myself (it used to be almost natural and automatic), trying to remind myself to document more personal and small details in life through this lens. It's after all the very initial reason why I wanted to get a camera, now it's become a tool for work. I've almost forgotten how it's like to be taking pictures of everything and anything that makes me... feel. I tell myself I want to live in the moment without having to change or capture it, but sometimes I regret not doing so.

The little things in life - the spontaneous midnight swim, the karaoke session you have in your own bedroom with youtube, the cuddles you have before you sleep, your favourite music in ears, wind in your hair, a hug when you feel cold... These are the little things that warm the heart. I came across this saying the other day "if you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph", although with all the social media and instagram #ootd posts these days, I wouldn't say it accurately applies to everyone, but at least for me, it can't be truer. I only have to take a glance at the photographs I take the most to know exactly what I value or fear losing the most. Some days I want myself to enjoy and savour the moments themselves without trying to change or capture them in photographs, people say you will remember them in your memory, but will you really? Many times I wish I've taken more photographs with people/ at places I never want to forget, so I could always be reminded and transported back to those moments that are long gone. They might never repeat again.

Two weeks ago I thought one of my dearest friends who's recently been diagnosed with depression was going to kill himself, a national serviceman who's only about to turn 20 committed suicide, a friend whom I've always admired because of her optimism and hardwork, has also become depressed lately... Reading news on the explosions in China and Bangkok that killed many many families, a few more plane-crash this year... And then few days ago, the very first friend I knew when I came to Singapore, left Singapore for good, many other people I adore have also gone overseas to study... Makes me start thinking what is life but a continuous loss and change of people in it.

Two third of the year has gone past... I wonder how much time I spent working, talking to the few people I enjoy spending time with, and running. One thing I'm definitely happy about is that I finally started running in a regular basis, never in my life would I have thought that I'd actually think "I feel like running tonight" (after an entire day at work!) and genuinely crave to do so. I was telling Ale how running is actually very much like meditation to me, where I get to focus on my breath, my body and I feel the wind on my face, I get to be present instead of letting the mind wander too much. It sometimes really does feel like freedom. In the past, I used to force myself to run for the sake of exercising, never liked it, but my stamina was never too bad, so I did it anyway. Speaking of which, I've moved in with Anita, the very girl that made me start running early this year and helped me develop this habit of running. She was the one who had to drag me out to run then, now we became housemates and I couldn't be more grateful of her company, especially this month, it hasn't been an easy one for me. But on a brighter note, this past month I've easily cooked more than I did the past 3 years, and it is nice :)

I can't decide if it has been a great year - some days I wonder if I could be any luckier or feel more loved, everything feels perfect and in place, while some days I fight hard to bring myself up, only to feel more broken than I think I can ever be. Some days I'm confident and hopeful and funny, while some days I just want to break, be weak and taken care of, only to be slapped by the hard truth that life isn't always about us.

22, life doesn't feel as easy as it used to be. Life feels harsh and real. I still feel a little too young, emotional and easily defeated at times. Sometimes life hurts because you put so much hope and expectation in things, and they don't always turn out to be the way you want them to be. The next lesson I guess I have to learn, is to grit my teeth, and let things be/go. There are really so much to learn in life. I'm so thankful for people who stick with me after all these while, people who give me very kind words and encouragement, and most importantly, people who take out their time and days to spend with me, creating memories and moments I will miss dearly, reminding me that life can be sweet and warm. Time, time is priceless, it is the best thing one can give another. I know I'm well loved, these are the words and things that keep me going. Things that make me want to celebrate life.

Potsdam, Germany

2015-07-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

I didn't take a lot of photographs when I was here. After spending a week in London, followed by an 8 hours midnight coach to Edinburgh before we immediately started our 3-day Scottish highland trip on the road, waking up early, with the last morning rushing from Edinburgh to Glasgow airport carrying my heavy backpack and luggage alone, and then having my flight delayed by 3 hours... I told Alessandro all I wanted was to rest a little when I came to Germany. It was absolutely lovely, he cooked, we had some wine, and we went out for walks around Potsdam where there was barely anyone - which was quite a luxury for me especially after staying at places like Singapore & London; my days in Germany, there's no waking up early, we took the days slow... it was perfect.

Photos underneath were all taken at The Sanssouci Palace & New Palace in Potsdam (They are next to each other). It wasn't at its best, the plants were still growing, the flowers hadn't bloomed, the fountain in front of the palace wasn't even working... but the sun was at its best, it was glorious, which was enough to keep me happy (of course, great company too).

What I always miss from Europe - the light, oh the light.

I took many photographs on my iphone when I just wanted to grab a few shots quickly, but they turned out to be the most personal photographs among all -

1. Sunrise from the first morning in Germany, shot from the room we stayed in.
2. Quick breakfast made by Ale - salmon & melted cheese with buns, done in 5 minutes but it tasted SO good...
3. Trying to make banana pancakes... we failed, but ate them anyway.
4. Dinner preparation. Just some German sausages.
5. Walks at New Garden, Potsdam in coincidental red and white.
6. Gorgeous sunlight at the New Palace
7. Blooming roses, aren't they beautiful?
8. The kind of books a physicist gives you as a gift...
9. A night with pizza, cheese, wine and movie! :)

Couldn't ask for better days. But I will go back to Germany one day to do some proper tourist visiting some time in the future for sure!

Venice, Italy

2015-07-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

30th June, today marks 2 full months since the day I came back from Europe - Venice to be exact. Work has been taking up most of my weekends the past 2 months, few weeks ago I had some really bad time dealing with everything, but I am glad it is now over and thankful for the ones who accompanied me through the days.

Many people asked me what's my favourite destination from my Europe trip (among London, Scotland, Germany and Venice), while every place is very different from each other, for some reason, Italy always has its way to my heart. A month before my trip, I booked my flight ticket to London and back from Venice without prior plan on where I should go between London and Venice, nor who I'd be going with to Venice. Traveling alone doesn't sound bad at all, even in a country with a language that I can barely understand. But life is sweet and likes to throw us surprises at the most unexpected places and time, I ended up coming here with someone... quite special, and we loved every bit of Venice despite the gloomy weather :)

We stayed in a lovely place (found on Airbnb) outside of Venice, called Mogliano, which takes about 20 minutes of train ride into Venice itself. The host made us simple breakfast every morning, offered us some white wine at night, lent us a few books and maps of Venice and told us what we needed to know about the public transportation. She was sweet and lovely.

I always think Italy isn't exactly like how most people here think it is like. Italy, especially Milan is known as the fashion capital, and having all the Italian restaurants here, Italy has been glamorised a lot. It is in fact, not glamorous or perfect at all, which makes me love it even more. The cracked walls, the wild plants that grow in between the bricks, the worn off paints... Ultimately, all these little imperfections make Italy... Italy. The long history, rich culture, the way Italians speak... they're irreplaceable.

I remember the first time I saw Pantheon in Rome, it was so surreal I just couldn't believe I was right there, in front of this building that has come such a long way in human history. I imagined all the different generations and evolutions of human it has witnessed and all the changes there must have been around the building, since it was built till today - how it is now surrounded by restaurants and gelato shops and tourists from all over the world. It felt like the building doesn't fit into everything that's surrounding it today, or conversely I felt like I was suddenly transported back to the olden time. At that moment, I was staring not at the building, but at the thousands years of history behind it. It was amazing.

And Venice, oh Venice, imagine a city without any car. A place that's made up from a group of more than 100 small islands, connected by its 400+ bridges. You either walk or ride a boat, through the hundreds of Venetian canals. When the weather cleared up for a short while, we took the chance and got on a gondola. It was charming, with the boatman started singing as we admired the beauty of Venice...

Piazza San Marco

April, 2015

After staying in Italy for a month last year, this time that I was back, it felt familiar and comfortable, and I know immediately - I'll come back to you again someday, Italy. Ciao for now!

The Blue Mansion

2015-03-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

After what seems like an eternity, I finally get myself to post these photos that have been sitting in my hard-disk after our trip to Penang. You must think - haven't you already posted one with photos from Penang some time ago? I did. But those were all the iPhone snaps, and these are mainly photos of the famous Blue Mansion - also known as Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion. I hope it can at least show some of you how it'd be like to be staying in a mansion more than 100 years old. You can already see a lot of them in my previous post of iPhone images, here are just some additional ones taken by my camera.

A little background about the Blue Mansion - it was a stately family house of a Chinese tycoon/diplomat during the old time and has now become both a museum and a 16-room hotel in Penang. If you're not staying in the hotel, you can only visit at certain time for its guided tour - which is offered 2-3 times a day. I must say that initially it creeped me out a little imagining people walking around and staying in the very same room as we did, more 100 years ago, but it's so well maintained with its constant restoration project that it hardly feels like it's such an old mansion.

With less than 16 rooms of guests, I wasn't sure what to expect for the breakfast (I know, I'm such a foodie) They wouldn't be doing buffet with a huge variety as there aren't so many people, so I thought they might only provide some breads, toasts, jam, maybe eggs, some simple breakfast like that, but it turned out that they actually have a menu of a variety of food, we get to choose and they would cook right away, like in a restaurant. It felt really good to be having breakfast at the open air courtyard right in the middle of the 100-year-old mansion, there was no noise of vehicles or traffic or sight of any skyscraper, I felt like I was transported to many many years back. Really peaceful.

I do realize how horrible I am in documenting my travels and trips, initially wanted to post more behind-the-scenes here, but I decided to keep this post exclusively for the Blue Mansion. Trust me, I'm really trying to keep this space alive!

The Best Things in Life Are Free

2015-03-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

Hair drenched in seawater, we fell asleep under the sun while the beach music and joyful noise of people gently faded into the background. It's everything I need to genuinely relax - the sun, sea, wind and good music. An absolutely perfect way to start a new month, though I wish it could last a little longer.

I haven't had these in a while now. The last time I could remember is when I was still in Italy, where we spent a good few days only on the beach, from morning to dinner time. It was also the first time I had so much - almost too much time on the beach, and I finally learned to relax and take a nap at a public place without worrying about my belongings. It was just a rather different culture in my country where everyone avoids the sun. And the last thing we would do is falling asleep at somewhere public and leaving our belongings unguarded.

Anita and I were both initially lazy in the morning, having to pack our clothes and leave our beds, but Anita insisted that we go so we wouldn't waste another Sunday just staying at home doing nothing. At the end of the day I was so glad we made it there. It was everything I needed. The music, noises of kids and sound of water splashing form into this perfect melody as we fell asleep under the sun.

Some people probably think it sounds fancy and expensive to go to a beach just to rest especially in Singapore (well if you order the food, yes it is a little pricey), but what you need to be happy - good company, sunshine, sea, wind and music. Best thing about it? They're all free! If you wouldn't want to spend too much, then you could just bring your own food there or so. Always live for the simple things in life! (:

All photos taken by iPhone - Mambo Beach Club, Sentosa

Australia in Autumn

2015-02-26T00:05:00.000+08:00

While I was sorting through my old hard-disk, I found some shots I took in Australia last May that were not posted anywhere and I think they deserve a little attention. Sometimes when you look at the old images you take, you feel something that you didn't at that point of time. Maybe because you see things slightly differently now, or life has changed and you learned to appreciate the beauty of certain things you didn't before.

Whenever I travel these days, I wish I don't use the camera or phone so much so I can truly savour the moment, but often when I look through my old photos, I'm so glad I took those images. Those moments will have been gone forever if they have not been captured. I guess for many things - "balance" is the word. Few years into photography, and I'm still constantly exploring and finding meanings in what I do and photograph. Without finding out the meaning in what I do, I lose my motivations. What I want to photograph has changed tremendously over the years, especially lately, and I want to be brave enough to make use of my skills for something bigger, something more meaningful not just for me, but for the society. But then again, it's such a big question, I'm just a girl, and I'm still learning and trying to find out. For now, I want to make sure I take images not just for the sake of taking them, but truly appreciating the beauty of what I'm capturing.

I don't usually take lots of portraits of my parents, or at least I don't remember taking a lot of them, but some of these seem to be such precious images of them. We will never be as young as our past, while these little moments and expressions will be frozen and cherished long after the moment was gone. How do we know when will be the next time they get to lie on the beach together? I did not take the images with the intention of posting them on my blog but I'm glad I did.

It makes me happy seeing photos of them smiling and all happy. It makes me feel strangely happy and content.

Picture of me with the Sydney Harbour Bridge while the sun was setting by my sister

Penang through iPhone

2015-01-29T00:41:00.000+08:00

The first month of 2015 is actually about to end in a few days. Have you realized how scarily fast time has past? I haven't made any new year resolutions because for the past few years I forgot about it few months into the new year, but if I were to make any now, it will include - blogging more often, they don't have to be perfect or always share-worthy, I simply don't want all the memories/images I take start collecting dusts in the computer/phone and being forgotten. I allowed this to happen way too much the past year. It might sound easy, but compiling, arranging, editing your images and posting them strangely require a lot of discipline.

2015 has been good so far, I have started running more often - thanks to Anita for always dragging me out. The highlight of the beginning of the year shall be the weekend trip to Penang with the girls from Fashmob. We stayed in the beautiful Blue Mansion (also known as Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion), which was under the "World's Top 10 Greatest Mansions" by Lonely Planet. I myself haven't visited the mansion before so it's all our first time there! Haven't been to Penang for a few years now, I had been dreaming of Penang Laksa and their Char Kuew Teow, they've (almost) all finally been satisfied. I wished we had more days to explore the street art and local cafes which have been increasingly popular these days in Penang, but there's always next time!

All photos by my phone (and a few from the other girls)

Since Penang is such a popular destination for traveling these days, we had been invading places full of tourists to shoot. In one of the pictures, you can also see how we just had our bags, shoes and accessories all over one of the popular streets with wire art. People came and went all the time to take pictures of the street arts, makes me wonder how many times I actually photobombed people's pictures.

We have unfortunately only been able to spot one of the more popular ones - the sibling riding the bicycle, and I had to squat down because I was blocking the little kid at the back :( Had a few surprises strolling down the street when you suddenly realized you were right next to a painting as big as the building. Now George Town feels like a place for treasure hunt, you see tourists holding their maps, searching for the next artwork that's hidden between the alleys.

Penang feels so much more different than how it was when I traveled here as a kid with my classmates at the age of 12. And I think it definitely has a lot more to offer despite how small the island is. Oh Penang, you're really beautiful in your very own way, and I'm definitely making a trip back again.

Sunday Well Spent

2015-01-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

My perfect Sunday consists of waking up naturally - no alarm clock, impromptu plan to go for a little retail therapy with a good friend, spending just enough time to have a few good buy and realizing they're on sales, grocery shopping for some chocolates, good weather, sushi after sushi, swimming in a pool without anyone else, munching on chips by the pool, doing nothing while lying under the blue sky, watching how the cloud changes in such a short time, slowing down life...

Also, happy belated new year! Whatever 2015 has in store for us - joy or heartbreak, let's learn to embrace them all!

Forgetting Again

2014-12-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I spend so long looking for the perfect blog layout that I find it so contradicting because I don't even blog that much anymore. Isn't life sometimes the same? You spend too much time planning the best for your future that you forget the most foundation thing in life - to live. Maybe a small part of me believes that a good layout could inspire me to continue sharing, because I need to constantly be inspired. There are truly too many thoughts that come to me everyday that I fail to pen down, and I let them go eventually.

Anyway, I'm finally back home. After what feels like - just too long. (Not actually that long when I count) But I really needed a break. I had been working nearly every single day, Sunday to the next Sunday, the past 2 months. I wanted to make the best out of 2014, I wanted to push through and hoped the hardwork of the last 2 months of the year could perhaps make it an overall better year.

So, I'm finally back home. I know this is the second time I type this sentence but the "finally" I said for the first time was talking about how long have I not been home, and this second "finally" is to emphasise that it wasn't an easy trip coming back home.

Nancy came over to Singapore on Christmas eve to accompany me on Christmas. The few days she was over, it was nothing but wonderful, to have your best friend's company when you're overseas. I couldn't appreciate it more. The day we're supposed to come back home together, we reached the bus station an hour earlier, collected our tickets, and found a cosy Thai restaurant in the mall full of Thais, ordered some Thai iced tea and talked while waiting for the time to reach. 10 minutes to 5.30pm, we packed and headed to where the coach would be.

As I walked, it struck me. 'Did I bring my passport?', I quietly asked myself. Almost immediately, I remembered where it was - in the camera bag that I carried to shoot few days back. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what I should do before I told Nancy about it.

10 minutes later, I was outside of the coach begging the driver to wait for me at the custom as I took a cab back home to get my passport. All he said was "Try your best." But he made it clear that he wouldn't wait if the passengers are done at the check-point. I left my ukulele and my sweater with Nancy on the bus, and told her I would see her at the custom, then ran off to grab a cab while it started drizzling.

I texted my sister who had a similar experience (which proves that we are real sisters) and asked the cab drivers who know better of how long I need to get there/ if it is possible for me to catch them. Everyone agreed that it's a safer choice to be taking the next coach home instead of trying to catch up (and if it fails, then what?) So I followed. In the mean time I just kept texting Nancy that I was really sorry for being so forgetful all the time, although I was sure her phone couldn't receive any text messages in Singapore. When she had crossed the border to Malaysia, she read my text and said "I'm sorry too I should have accompanied you" But having her to not be angry and frustrated at me for being so forgetful for the hundredth time and carrying my uku & shoes bags with her around (on top of her own bags) at the check-point, it was enough. More than enough.

I think we - which is, my sister and I, have forgotten our stuff (or missed our flights) for so many times that my mom is not surprised by it anymore. "We will wait for you, no worries" I was so grateful, but so frustrated at myself at the same time, for allowing such unpleasant experience to happen when life was good and sweet. Nancy reached about 4 hours earlier than me when her coach was only about 1.45h earlier. But at the end of the day, I was so glad I was home, though it's at 3 in the morning, after being stuck at the custom for nearly 2.5 hours.

Reading about the missing plane from Indo to Sg, suddenly this feels like nothing as compared to all the accidents. My heart goes to all the victims and their families. We need more love.

Privé, Keppel Bay

2014-09-01T13:06:00.001+08:00

Realize I can never blog consistently, I either blog a few posts in a day or not blog at all for a long time. This month has been spent sending out many emails that are still unanswered, then I realize it's not as easy as I thought to find a full-time job. Though I'd very much prefer to do freelancing as what I am doing now, taking up different assignments, flexible timing... I have to get a full time job to serve the 3 years bond in Singapore. And they have a thing that a company must have x number of Singaporeans in order to hire foreigners, which makes it even harder for me because photography/design firms in Singapore are generally quite small. I've had people telling me "I'd love to employ you if I could! But we tried hiring foreigners and it's rejected." Kinda frustrating but it only makes me want to push myself even more to do something better.

So my life the past month... I'm either too free for a few days, have totally nothing to be done... just hanging around in Starbucks reading or doing post-processing, watching movies alone, or like the past 3 days - where I have to get up early for shoot/meeting different groups of friends, joining friends to go clubbing (after a very long time), then getting up after barely enough of sleep for another shoot... Didn't even surf the net/facebook all that much, which is good! Feel like I have a life. haha

I think when I start blogging I tend to start ranting about my life, and don't think anyone is actually interested but I type them anyway... So I survived 4.5 hours of sleep last night and then a morning shoot after! I could feel my legs aching when I woke up - 'damn, why is it not raining so we could postpone the shoot a little...' hehe. But I got up and the moment I reached the location - Keppel Bay, I was so glad to be there. The weather was perfect, and it's quiet, not crowded like any other place in Singapore on a Sunday, which is absolutely perfect for me. Although I've been getting more and more tanned, I must admit I still love the sun.

And what's better to wrap a shoot than having good brunch at the bay (Privé Cafe) with great company and lots of laughter? Always blessed to be working with these lovely girls from Fashmob!

Pulau Tioman

2014-08-08T11:54:00.001+08:00

Can't believe it's already August, has it only been 2 and a half months since I ended school? I was lucky to able to travel quite a bit this holidays, to Australia with my family, to Italy alone for a month, then to an island in Malaysia with my brother and his friend. Falling asleep under a coconut tree after a swim in the sea while the wind blew gently, spending hours chasing fishes in the sea, having amazing companies from different parts of the world while traveling in Italy, road trips, exchanging stories and jokes, having gelato every night after dinner while walking along the small alleys in Italy, being able to eat whatever you want without having to pay... very blessed. Except that now I have to get used to my much more tanned skin, and maybe the belly.

While I'm grateful to have had so much fun, so much time to rest, I can't wait to go back and start working, creating something, doing yoga again. Currently looking for a suitable job for myself. Hoping for the best!

Bene Vagienna

2014-07-14T17:26:00.000+08:00

I remember before I came to Italy, when I got the address of my second host family, which is located at a small town called Bene Vagienna, I asked some Italians about this place when I reached here, no one seemed to know this place. So I didn't have much expectation of the place, but the family I stayed with here, they're one of the best families I've met. Blew me away with so much kindness. And it's absolutely beautiful, the weather seems to be much cooler than anywhere else in Italy, beautiful house, pool, outdoor meals, making pizzas, baking chocolate lava cakes for the family & chocolate cheesecakes, sweetest dogs, endless laughter where I learned speaking Italians and the parents trying their best to learn speaking english. Brought us up the heels and so I could experience sliding on snow for the first time on a sunny summer day, had fun teaching me about different wine, cheese, meat, chocolates after every meal because the dad is obsessed with it, and so are us... I just have to come back again in the future. One of the most perfect days in my life. So simple, yet so rare and beautiful.

Postcards from Italy

2014-07-14T16:32:00.002+08:00

I have been in Italy for quite a while now, actually only 2 weeks but I'll be leaving in another 2 weeks! So I initially intended to post at least one photo everyday on instagram to document what I have been doing so I could remember when I looked back. Unluckily my phone broke halfway and didnt wanna switch on anymore. Me, I see it as a hidden blessing, so that I could enjoy my trip more... (My host family is so kind that they gave me a cellphone so I could use during emergency) And since I always get too lazy to retouch the photos when I'm back home, I decided to start uploading them and writing things down before I forget them. My experience in Italy so far, is a mix of different kinds of people and food. Some are good, some not so. Italy isn't exactly how I imagined it would be, but like any other countries it surprises me in different ways everyday. Here are just some postcards from Italy, pretty views. World cup finale tonight, also last night with my 2nd host family (which is awesome), will be spending it having barbeque by the pool, playing cards and watching the world cup. I've come to appreciate simple days because they're always the best!

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary

2014-06-07T16:20:00.001+08:00

It's been a few weeks since I came back from Australia but I have yet to sort out all the photos I've taken (which is not very surprising...) I was thinking if I should blog about it day by day or place by place. And I guess it'll be less messy to post one place by another rather than day by day since we might have visited a few places in a day.

On the third day in Gold Coast, we decided to head down to Brisbane to visit Lone Pine - the world's first and largest koala sanctuary. They don't only have koalas actually, there are also kangaroos and other Australian wildlife. In a moment you'll see why it's such a lovely place to be. Kangaroo is hands down my favourite of all! They aren't locked in cages, so if you want to you could approach them and hand feed them. Koalas are adorable too, but they're so lazy they basically only eat & sleep. We're lucky enough to spot the baby koala sleeping in its mom's arms when we were there. Too adorable!

If you follow me on instagram you'd have seen my selfie with one of the kangaroos. They're really so adorable. Though my friends then told me that they actually might kick or box you despite their innocent look... In the photos you could see we also met one shy (or sobbing?) kangaroo that refused to look up. And then in the last photo, we didn't know what happened, they were all initially lying down and some were sleeping, suddenly they all jolted awake and just stood there for what felt like 5 minutes, not moving, looking at the same direction. We still wondered what they heard. But that was quite an astonishing scene to see all of them suddenly being so alerted, rather than the original relaxed and chilled mood.

Fashmob

2014-06-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

This post would probably summarize 50% of the images I've created the past few months. Last October I received an email from the owner of Fashmob - Rachel, asking for my photography rate, and here after half a year I've been shooting for them for about 20 launches! Time really does fly. I often tried not to post too many photos that I shot for online stores because it wasn't what I wanted myself to be known for. Moreover, the one behind the camera shouldn't be the one who steals the spotlight, right? You should just be quietly creating beautiful images to aid the business. But I am certainly thankful for the opportunity, and it has to be one of the things that I'm most grateful of - to have met these people. We explore different places together, do silly things just to get into the location (and then getting chased out...), encounter funny incidents like having monkeys surrounding us... Slowly we become friends, and during one's birthday we would go out for nice dinner together.

It took me a while to pick the images because there're just so many photos, and they might look messy together since they're all from different days and locations. But I'll try.

If you like their clothes, head over to their website and have a look. I've shot them so I know that the quality of the fabrics are usually quite good. 3 years ago I came to Singapore just to study, so I only had friends from my school, maybe that's why I'm always happy whenever I get to know people outside of my school, to know how other schools are like in the same land. And sometimes classmates can get competitive and it becomes complicated, friends outside can just be friends.

In less than a month I will be traveling to Italy for a month, which means I probably would have to miss out some of their launches, but I believe a vacation or break from photography will often make you see things from a different perspective again when you're back.

Chaceylove

2014-05-29T18:00:00.001+08:00

This is a horribly overdue post, a set of images I took for a local online store, Chaceylove on March. Suddenly came across the album while I was arranging the folders in my computer, and think I should quickly share these images on the blog before I forget. Definitely has to be one of my favourite shoots so far. I mean, look at the beautiful bridesmaids dresses, the stunning sunlight and gorgeous models. Certain spots at the location with the way the dresses are, it really reminds me so much of Greece.

Initially when I received the email from the owner and was told that she wanted to do a shoot with 3 models, I wasn't confident at all. I was nervous. I've mostly shot only a model, I wasn't even sure if I could shoot 2 models well, and she wanted 3! So I did my homework and roughly had in mind how I wanted to frame the image. I'm glad some photos turn out to be better than I thought. And the models are such a joy to work with! If you're looking for bridesmaid dresses you should definitely have a look at their website. And here are more photos!

Model (from left) - Shijia, Elaine Jasmine, Eunice Annabel

Australia 2014

2014-05-28T13:32:00.001+08:00

Finally, I'm back on my blog. First post of the year at end of May. With a lot of photos to share over the past few months. Have been shooting quite a lot for some online stores, school projects, travel to Hong Kong and Australia the past months (and Italy in a month!) People have told me that I'm being very quiet lately in the social platforms, not posting much on facebook, blog, and have completely stopped using twitter. And now, school has finally come to an end, and I suddenly feel the urge again to share all the images I've made, or at least this is a good place for me to documents all the process and small works I've been working on. Also, you might have noticed my new blog template, designed by a favourite website designer. So excited to start blogging and sharing photos again!

Here are photos taken in Australia 2 weeks ago, Gold Coast & Sydney. All by my phone. I'm not good with words, whenever people ask me how's my trip I find it hard for me to describe all the things I've seen and tasted, so I guess using images is a good way for me to show what I've seen. This trip wasn't a long one, since all my family members will have to work except me, we can't make it any longer. But we've throughly enjoyed Australia. Renting a car and having road trips based on maps & gps on a foreign land together for the first time, no guided tours, self-planned, having groceries shopping and making dinner together (funny it's the first time my mom, sister, sister-in-law and I prepare dinner together!) food might not be amazing or photogenic but they're honestly satisfying, not just to the stomach but for my heart. What I miss about Australia the most has got to be the weather, it's the starting of winter so it could be quite cold at night when the wind blew, but some days when the sun was out, it's sunny but cool at the same time? That's the best weather ever. Makes me appreciate sun so much.

I'm sure I'll be back again.

Fashion Steps Out Backstage

2013-05-06T21:20:00.003+08:00

For those who are not Singaporeans, you might not have heard of Fashion Steps Out, it's the fashion show with the longest runway in Singapore - easily 600m I believe, with 170 models from different countries. Orchard road was blocked from any vehicles so the whole stretch of road could be used for the show, imagine that!

I wasn't a backstage photographer, it just happened that my friend knows someone who was working backstage and they needed dressers urgently for the models so of course I said yes! Dressers, you get to help the models to dress and experience the hectic moments before they step out being glamorous! Well that was what I thought, but it was so much more than that. Show was gonna start at 8.30pm but we all had to gather at 10am to prepare, get the clothes from different brands, tape all the bottoms of the shoes to protect them, make sure all the clothes/shoes/bags are there, steam the clothes, make sure your models are all present, etc...

I brought my camera along because I was sure I couldn't resist it. 170 models! Isn't that a heaven for a photographer?! So whenever I had free time, I took out my camera to take some photos, and hoped that other workers wouldn't scold me for doing so. However I only brought a lens so it was a little limited.

my fav pic of all! :)

My friend and I were assigned to be the dressers of Coach, there were 6 female models and 9 male models. I know it founds a little funny but I felt like a mom! They would come and ask if they could go to the toilets or smoke, sometimes I had to be squeezed between all the models to look for them and ask them to be in place (some are really playful, walking here and there like kids!), make sure they looked good... before they went out I got so excited and nervous, and when I saw people's photos of them in instagram I felt so proud. Doesn't it make me sound like a mom?!

I honestly felt really lucky to be working backstage, enjoyed it so much, I managed to see a different side of the models, a more fun and playful side of them, see them taking selfca with other models, you suddenly realise these gorgeous people you see from the magazines are humans too, not very much different from you and I. (except that they are so much taller and prettier and slimmer hehe)

Fide Fashion Week 2012

2013-04-12T15:09:00.001+08:00

On 1st April I received a surprise email, something that I never expected at all! But before telling you what's that about, I want to share some of the photos that I took last December during Fide fashion week in Singapore. If you wonder how I got to photograph the fashion shows - a few days before the fashion week started, a friend told me that a there's a photography competition organized by Fide, since I already started my school holidays, and had not photographed any fashion shows before, why not?

I went with no expectations to win, just wanted to try photographing fashion shows. And I must say, photographing runways is so much harder than I thought, so many things that I didn't consider about... Out of 400+ photos that I took, I only managed to get not more than 15 of nice photos. Not kidding.

The fashion week lasted for a few days with a few fashion shows everyday, I only attend 2 fashion shows. The first show was a terrible experience to me, everything was moving too fast. All the photographers were only allowed to be in a small square in front of the runway so they wouldn't disturb the guests from watching the shows, and there were probably about 20 other photographers trying to get the perfect photos from different angles. I hardly got any photo straight in front of the models because all the spots were filled up with so many other photographer. As expected, I was one of the only girls and easily the youngest among them. So I was thinking... since I couldn't get a perfect angle, why not try shooting from different angles by using different lens? I missed some good photos while changing lens and running around, of course, but I suppose I have some different varieties of photos. and I'm happy about it.

Sometimes the outfit and the model pose are perfect, but the eyes of the models are closed, or the angle/lens isn't very suitable to bring out the best of the photo/outfit, or the guests behind were not cooperating (when they looked uninterested). Many many different factors that could destroy a good photo. And they're not in your control.

I still submitted the 3 best photos for the competition. no harm, right? the last 3 photos were what I selected. I tried to choose all from different angles so it wouldn't be so boring. The results were supposed to be announced on December, as expected, I didn't receive any email, though a small part of me was still hoping I could win maybe the small prize.

The Surprise

Fast forward to few months later, 1st of April 2013, I received an email from Fide. The email started by saying "Hi Kah Ying, you have been selected as the first place winner for the competition..." My eyes immediately widened, I was thrilled! That really really was a surprise to me! Again it says to me - do not give up any opportunity because you never know what it might bring you.

POP01 at LASALLE

2013-04-07T11:12:00.001+08:00

My friends who are in fashion business class had a pop up store in the school. (until this Thursday!) All the products are made by them, lots of effort and time put in. Really really proud of them especially when I see people admiring/buying them. Here are some of the snaps I took of the products on Thursday (the opening) before some of them were being sold out.

And here's the behind the scene of the photoshoot we all did by using their products/accessories. (featuring me scratching my head hehe) Had a blast working with all the talented friends! The store is still open from this Monday to Thursday (10am - 5pm) so do drop by to have a look and support! :)