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Retouching As An Act Of Kindness

MomGrind — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:00:21 +0000

Retouching has come under serious scrutiny lately. Advances in digital photography have made it so easy to manipulate photographs that cover models and celebrities appearing in magazines don’t even look like themselves anymore. In many cases, they don’t even look human.

Photo credit: dl Q Retouch

Critics are saying that even if most of us are aware that the photos are manipulated, we don’t realize how extreme the manipulation is, and so the “perfect” ideal that those photos create is damaging to women and creates body image issues, because it sets impossible beauty standards.

Whether the backlash against extreme retouching in magazines is justified or not, my real-life friend Jan Miller argues in this post that gentle photo retouching of our loved ones can actually be an act of kindness.

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I rarely retouch individuals in photographs, but I do have a few exceptions.

One major exception is mothers! I have retouched images of my mother and of my mother-in-law without telling them about it.

Recently, I retouched this picture of my mother-in-law and her husband:

Original Photo

Retouched Photo

This photo was taken after a short walk on a hot day. I had not planned on retouching the photo before I sent it to my mother-in-law, but I could not stop myself.

What would it hurt to fix her hair, straighten her necklace, fix her makeup, lose a few wrinkles and pounds—she was thinner a few months earlier!

Also, why not have her husband sit up a little straighter? He would have, if he had not just walked five blocks.

Oh dear, before I knew it, I had made quite a few changes. What can I say? My policy on mother photographs is “Don’t ask, don’t tell!”

This was the last picture that we took of my mother in law and her husband, who died shortly after the picture was taken. There was no chance of getting a more “flattering photo.” Because all the changes were subtle, no one in the family realized that anything was altered. They just looked a little more “rested!”

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What do you think? Is retouching OK under these circumstances? Would you have done the same? And, if subtle retouching of family photos is OK, is it OK to retouch fashion and celebrity photos too, as long as the retouching is not extreme?

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Retouching As An Act Of Kindness

Truth In Advertising

MomGrind — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:00:22 +0000

The Federal Trade Commission Act of 1914 established truth in advertising law. It says that advertising must be truthful and non-deceptive, and advertisers must have evidence to back up their claims.

An ad is considered deceptive if it contains a statement, or omits information, that is likely to mislead consumers acting reasonably under the circumstances.

Obviously, there are many gray areas when it comes to truth in advertising. The following ads, from as early as the 1920s and from as late as the 1970s, demonstrate it well:

1. Pepsi Cola is wholesome and light

Image credit: Miss Retro Modern

“Today’s delicious, pure Pepsi Cola - the wholesome, light refreshment.”

2. This inflatable doll looks just like a real woman

Image credit: jbcurio

“Just add air. Life like in every detail…just add air and instantly I become a 5′4” beauty who wears size 8 clothes… take me to a party, boating or swimming (I float).” 1970.

3. This gentle exercise routine will enlarge your breasts

Image credit: Uh.. Bob

“Now, through the famous Swedish method of gentle exercise that doctors recommend, you can develop the beautiful form that you desire. Yes, just 10 minutes a day of this scientific development based on modern up-to-date principles allows you to put weight on where you wish – take weight off where you don’t want it.”

4. My special garments dissolves fat by perspiring

Image credit: jbcurio

“The entire body, or any part, can be reduced without dieting by dissolving the fat through perspiration produced by wearing my garments.” 1923.

5. Canned spaghetti is a “wonderful eating”

Image credit: jbcurio

“An easy to fix, money-saving dish that’s truly wonderful eating.”

6. Corn syrup on toast for breakfast is yummy and energizing

Image credit: Miss Retro Modern

“Top off your toast with ENERGY. Bee Hive for breakfast gives you two big benefits… a refreshing taste of delicious flavor and plenty of instant energy.”

7. Sugar can help you keep your weight down

Image credit: Miss Retro Modern

“Sugar keep your energy up and your appetite down. Sugar: only 18 calories per spoon, and it’s all energy.”

8. My nose shaper will fix your nose without surgery

Image credit: jbcurio

“My new nose-shaper corrects ill-shaped noses without operation, quickly, safely and permanently.” 1916.

Apparently, “truth in advertising” often means “stretching the truth to its limits.”

Truth In Advertising

Friday Links

MomGrind — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:00:37 +0000

Photo credit: Hamed saber

Ten of the blog posts I enjoyed this week.

What is a Browser? - Kim Woodbridge wonders if people are less tech-savvy than she realizes.

These Are The Good Old Days - Life coach Tim Brownson suggests that we ask ourselves a few important questions, such as “what’s really important to you? If you could do anything at all today and presuming it’s actually possible, what would it be? What stops you doing that anyway?”

Your 24 Possible Personal Strengths - Daphne of Joyful Days outlines an excellent framework for identifying personal strengths.

Self defense and kids — how-to for parents - Lori of Think Like A Black Belt offers basic tips to help parents get started on teaching younger kids about personal safety and self defense.

Health Insurance - this is an older post but I just discovered it this week. It’s by Lovelyn of Nebulous Mooch and it takes a look at life with, and without, health insurance.

Six Sources of Influence - J.D. Meier of Sources of Insight discusses the six sources of influence model, which is a powerful model for change.

8 Ways to Beat the Heat With No AC - Hayden Tompkins of Through the Illusion has some great tips for managing heat without using an air conditioner.

Connected and Encouraged - Janice of Sharing the Journey reminds us that there are different ways of feeling kinship and connection.

The 1st SEO Decision You Should Make To Rank Well In Google - in an older post I just discovered, John Hoff of WpBlogHost discusses the importance of picking the right TLD, or Top-Level Domain, for your website.

How To Enjoy A Big Outdoors Event With Small Children - Victoria of It’s a Small World After All is SO RIGHT when she says, “Pre-children, we’d have arrived early, stayed late and taken part in everything going on. These days, we’ve lowered our expectations.”

Friday Links

Activities For Kids

MomGrind — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:00:14 +0000

Activities for kids are essential in helping us parents stay sane during the long summer break.

After all, it’s summer break for the kids, but not for us. I work from home, so for the next couple of weeks, until the kids go to summer camp, I will have to find a way to keep them busy at least a few hours each day while I work.

I do plan on getting out of the house and doing something fun every day, and I will definitely allow more screen time than usual, but I do want my kids to keep themselves busy for a few hours each day doing something creative.

I created this list of activities for kids with the help of my children. When the list was ready, I printed it out and placed it in the playroom. Whenever the kids complain that they’re bored and ask if they can watch more TV, I remind them to look at the list and find something they want to do. So far, it’s working quite well.

Activities For Kids That Do Not Involve TV

1. Read a book (shocking, I know.)

2. Play an instrument. The instrument can be a real one such as a piano or a guitar, or a homemade instrument such as an old pot used as a drum, or maracas made from sealed empty toilet paper rolls with dry rice.

3. Write a poem.

4. Write a short story and illustrate it.

5. Draw or paint a picture.

6. Practice hula-hoop.

7. Take photos around the house or in the yard.

8. Start a scrapbook with your thoughts and photos (we always end up with extra photos that the kids can use for these projects.)

9. Create a “joke book” filled with your own jokes and riddles, or with jokes and riddles that you like.

10. Make bracelets using string and beads.

11. Water plants around the house or in the yard.

12. Cut photos from a magazine and create a collage.

13. Create a dance or a gymnastics routine.

14. Play hide and seek.

15. Play tongue twisters.

16. Do a crossword puzzle or sudoku.

17. Make up a play, write it down, rehearse it and perform it to your parents.

18. Create with clay or play-dough.

19. Wash the dishes.

20. Help your parents cook or bake. Or look at recipes and cookbooks and select the recipes you would like to make together.

21. Go exploring in the backyard.

22. Find something to draw or paint around the house or in the yard and draw a still life.

23. Get active: do jumping jacks, sit-ups and push ups.

24. Draw a self-portrait.

25. Play a board game or a card game.

26. Play dress up.

27. Make paper airplanes in different sizes and from different types of paper, and see which one flies best.

28. Clean up your room. Find stuff you no longer need and make a pile for donation.

29. Write a letter to your grandparents or to your friends.

30. Invent your very own code language. Write the code down, then write sentences using the code.

31. Have a tea party with your dolls or stuffed animals.

32. Listen to music on your iPod.

33. Look at family photo albums.

34. Take a long, luxurious bath.

35. Give your dolls a long, luxurious bath.

36. Make your very own recipe book and fill it with creative recipes you have invented.

37. Do you have Hama Beads in the house? If you do, create with them.

38. Make an award, or a ribbon, for someone you admire. For example, make a “BFF award” for your very best friend.

39. Play hopscotch.

40. Practice skipping rope.

41. Do you own Heelys? If you do, practice them.

42. Draw with sidewalk chalk.

43. Go to the back yard and blow bubbles. See if you can string a few bubbles together.

Do you have any more ideas for activities for kids that they can do around the house while parents work? I’ll be more than happy to add to this list.

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More parenting articles from MomGrind:
Worst Mom Ever
Parenting Tips: How To Be More Patient
Children’s Self Esteem

This article, Activities For Kids, contains links to products on Amazon. If you decide to click over and make a purchase, I earn a small percentage.

Photo credit: John-Morgan

Activities For Kids

Friday Links

MomGrind — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 08:00:15 +0000

Photo credit: I Shutter

Ten of the blog posts I enjoyed this week.

The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease - Barbara of Blogging Without A Blog tackles the issue of a temporary, or a permanent drop in blog traffic and readership.

The Zen of New Ideas - Sean Platt of Collective Inkwell discusses the value of keeping a journal or writing daily pages.

What is Marriage? - Patricia of Patricia’s Wisdom tries to figure out what the institution of marriage is all about.

How To Win a Race in Last Place - Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome, in a guest post for Marc and Angel Hack Life, gives a new perspective to “winning.”

Four Simple Ways to Make the Most of Your Day - Sarah of On Simplicity suggests we focus less on checking tasks off a list, and more on making each day truly valuable.

7 Ways to Find Motivation at Home - Tsh of Simple Mom offers useful ways to avoid procrastination when it comes to managing and taking care of your home.

Beautiful Like Me…It’s all about the brain - Tricia of Shout Daily answers the question “What event or time did you feel your most beautiful? How did this event shape your view of yourself?”

Are Prescription Drugs Killing You? - Cath Lawson asks, “Are the drugs you’re taking to improve your health, slowly killing you?”

Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks - Hunter Nuttall wonders, why do we stop trying new things as we get older?

17 Tips To Improve Marriage And Slow Down Life - Corey Allan of Simple Marriage collects tips for slowing down and improving your life and your marriage.

Friday Links

Cupcake Recipe

MomGrind — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:00:47 +0000

We use this cupcake recipe every time the kids’ school announces a bake sale. The recipe is super easy, the cupcakes are fun to decorate, and they are always sold out within minutes.

Ingredients:
1.5 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
0.5 cup (1 stick) butter, softened but not melted
3 eggs, lightly beaten
0.5 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons whole milk
1 tablespoon high quality vanilla or coconut extract

For frosting:
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, at room temperature
1.5 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon high quality vanilla or coconut extract

For decorating:
M&Ms, sprinkles, small marshmallows, or any other favorite candy.

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (180 degrees Celsius). Line 12 muffin cups with paper liners.

In a small bowl, stir together flour and baking soda.

In another bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Add eggs and mix well. Add sour cream, milk and vanilla or coconut extract and mix until you get a creamy batter.

Add flour mixture to the batter. Mix until combined.

Spoon batter into muffin tin, filling lined muffin cups almost full (you might be able to get more than 12 cupcakes from this cupcake recipe - maybe 14 or 15):

Bake 17-18 minutes. This is how they look in the oven after about 15 minutes. Almost ready, but not quite:

To me, this is the magic of baking and why I love baking so much: watching the heat turn limp, sticky batter into an airy, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth treat. It’s pure magic, and please don’t spoil it by talking about science. Baking will always be magic to me, even if I know the science behind it.

This is what the cupcakes look like when they come out of the oven, after about 18 minutes:

Allow the cupcakes to cool for about 15 minutes on a wire rack:

These cupcakes are excellent without any frosting, but if you want to frost them, or if your kids are MAKING you frost them, prepare the frosting while the cupcakes are cooling: beat the cream cheese until softened, using an electric mixer on medium. Slowly add the sugar and vanilla or coconut extract, and beat for a couple more minutes, until creamy.

When the cupcakes are cool, frost them (we use very little frosting, but you can use as much as you like) and decorate! This is the best part.

Well, ALMOST the best part.

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More recipes from MomGrind:
Pita Bread Recipe
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

This article contains links to products on Amazon. If you decide to click over and make a purchase, I earn a small percentage.

This cupcake recipe is a combination of several cupcake recipes I have tried over the years.

Cupcake Recipe

10 Ways To Hate Yourself As A Woman

MomGrind — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:00:57 +0000

If you read my previous post on how to love yourself as a woman, you can probably skip this one.

It is pretty much the opposite of following the advice on my last post, and if you follow the steps here, you are guaranteed to end up hating yourself.

1. Invest in a bathroom scale that also measures body fat, and weigh yourself at least once a day, and especially the morning after a large salty meal.

2. Every few months, declare you’re going on a diet. Count calories religiously, refusing to see food as a source of pleasure and seeing it as numbers, as something bad, as something that makes you feel guilty and out of control. To help you achieve this step, you can find a lot of inspiration in various women’s magazines and in fashion spreads and ads.

3. Go through extreme cycles of being a complete couch potato, then guilting yourself into paying for a gym membership, hating every minute you spend there and ending up back as a couch potato.

4. When you look in the mirror, always focus on your “bad” parts: the round belly, the wide thighs, the cellulite. Instead of reminding yourself that this is the shape of an adult woman, tell yourself you’re fat and disgusting and why can’t you look more like that gorgeous, “perfect” 14 year old model.

Photo credit: Art Comments

5. Be your own worst critic. Remind yourself every day that you are imperfect, ugly, fat and old. What a loser you are. You should listen to the Facebook ads that explain that while Julia Roberts looks remarkably young for her age, you can achieve the same results if you only buy a specific product. WHY DON’T YOU?

And while you’re at it, maybe it’s time to whiten those disgusting yellow teeth of yours:

6. Subscribe to at least five women’s magazines and read every issue cover to cover, focusing on fashion spreads and ads, on diet advice, and on articles covering celebrity culture.

7. Remember that when a woman is raped, it’s no big deal and she probably brought it on herself. After all, that’s why we have a vagina. Why was she dressed like that, anyway? And what was she doing in his apartment??

8. Devour ads in magazines. They are a great source of reliable info. Trust advertisers: after all, there are laws about truth in advertising. Accept that women are portrayed by the media as pieces of meat because that’s exactly what we are: our main value lies in how we look and in how fresh (er young) we are. A woman who is not sexually attractive to men is worthless.

9. Accept that a woman must suffer for beauty and attempt to look as close as possible to the current “beauty ideal.” Become a fashion victim, a cosmetics junkie, and a sucker for any new beauty treatment on the market. Unhappy with your looks? That’s what plastic surgery is for. Go ahead, it will make you feel so much better about yourself.

10. Bicker at, undermine and criticize other women, especially successful, powerful women in business and politics. After all, deep in your heart you know that men are better. Plus, if she works so many hours, who is going to take care of her poor kids?

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Photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

10 Ways To Hate Yourself As A Woman

10 Ways To Love Yourself As A Woman

MomGrind — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:00:38 +0000

Do you love yourself? Do you take good care of yourself and train yourself to ignore the media’s messages about how women are SUPPOSED to look and act?

If you read this blog, I’m guessing you’re already following at least some of the suggestions below, and that’s a very good thing, because while the media constantly tells you to hate yourself and your imperfections, we both know you are wonderful - just the way you are.

10 ways to love yourself as a woman:

1. Throw out your bathroom scales. Seriously. Do it now.

2. Eat well, and never starve yourself. Try to eat five small meals each day, make sure your plate is filled with colorful fruit and veggies before you add protein and starch, and forget about counting calories.

3. Take care of your body. Engage in moderate exercise 3-4 times per week, but find something you actually enjoy doing, and preferably outside in fresh air, such as walking, rollerblading, biking, hiking or skiing. If your schedule only allows you to get fresh air and exercise on the weekend, don’t fret about it too much. Just do your best.

Photo credit: Matt From London

4. Love what you see. When you look in the mirror, train yourself to focus on your best features and ignore your “imperfections.” I read somewhere that when women stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, their eyes are immediately drawn to the areas they’re unhappy with. Shouldn’t we stop doing that?

5. Be nice to yourself. Replace that negative self-talk you’re so good at with positive self-talk. My daughter recently changed the screen saver on her laptop to say “Welcome back. You’re awesome.” Shouldn’t we all follow her example?

Photo credit: lboogiepeace

6. Stop reading women’s magazines. You might think they provide harmless entertainment, but they are damaging your self esteem. Cosmo is notorious for teaching young women that a man’s needs come first, but Vogue and the others are not much better.

7. Take a self-defense class. It’s a great exercise, and the skills you acquire could empower you in dangerous situations.

Photo credit: benjieordonez

8. Educate yourself about advertising, the motives behind it and why advertisers use women’s bodies to sell. Being aware of the messages advertisers in particular, and the media in general, send will help you filter out these harmful messages. Unfortunately, they will continue to shape society’s perceptions of women.

9. Reject the notions that a woman must suffer for beauty, and that “beautiful” has just one definition. During my teens, in the late eighties, I desperately wanted to look like the models I saw on magazine covers: blond, blue-eyed and tan. I hated my dark hair and pale skin. It took me several years to realize there’s more than one way to be beautiful.

10. Support other women. When you support other women, you are supporting yourself. So, when a woman announces she is running for office, try not to shred her to pieces right away. There’s nothing wrong with supporting a candidate “just because she’s a woman,” provided she’s as qualified for the job as other candidates. In most cases, she is.

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Related Reading: Media Portrayal of Women

Next week on MomGrind: 10 Ways To Hate Yourself As A Woman.

Photo credit: mikebaird

10 Ways To Love Yourself As A Woman

A Rose Garden

MomGrind — Wed, 20 May 2009 08:00:37 +0000

Every year in May, around the same time, our garden fills with colorful roses.

There’s something comforting and reassuring about things that happen, predictably and without fail, every year. Just like traditions, they have a way of anchoring our lives, of being a constant in an ever-changing, fast-paced reality.

There’s also something unsettling, maybe even a little upsetting, in realizing that another year has already gone by, especially since the older you get, the faster time seems to go by.

For a blogger, it’s always interesting to write about the same topic year after year, then compare old posts to new ones. My rose post from last year is quite similar to this one, except that I got myself a better camera a few months ago.

Other old posts, such as this post for International Women’s Day 2008, which is very different than my post for International Women’s Day 2009, make me cringe and think I have come a long way as a blogger.

Cringing when reading old posts is actually a good thing. It means you’re growing and developing as a blogger and as a writer.

Yellow roses are still my favorite flower.

A Rose Garden

Weird Ads

MomGrind — Sat, 16 May 2009 18:00:27 +0000

When I was younger, I wanted to be many things. One of them: an ad executive. I ended up being a lawyer (and hating it), then a blogger for hire. I’m not sure if I should regret the career I never had in advertising, though. Being creative under crazy deadlines and constant pressure is tough.

Judging from the following weird ads, sometimes it’s so tough, that the results are, to put it mildly, bizarre.

1. Scotch Hair Set Tape

Image credit: sugarpie honeycomb. 1970.

2. Hair Dryer For The Bald

Image credit: sugarpie honeybunch. 1972.

3. Physical Violence Is A Great Way To Sell Cigarettes

Image credit: jbcurio. 1975.

4. Bewitched Hairspray

Image Credit: sugarpie honeybunch. 1965.

5. This kid scares the hell out of me

Image credit: bayswater97. 1930s.

6. Is That His Mom? She Scares Me Too

Image credit: Marcoa84

7. Baby-Approved Cigarettes

Image credit: bayswater97

8. Eat Eat EAT! And Always Stay Thin With jar-packed sanitized tape worms

Image credit: 1vintage1

9. This Ad Is Especially Appetizing

Image credit: sixtiesbooks

10. Drink Your Yeast! Yum

Image credit: Sugarpie Honeybunch

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Related reading: Truth In Advertising

Weird Ads