Mom’s Prime Years Guest Blogger, Life Coach Aurelia Williams

Have you thought about what it will feel like to not have a house full of teenagers at any given time or even to not have your child a stone’s throw away so you can tell them good morning or good night every single day? These are big adjustments and if you’re not prepared, it can suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks. Here are some tips to help you prepare and make the most of your ‘empty nest’ experience.

First of all, begin thinking about ways you can use your newly found freedom.

• Perhaps you’ve always wanted to start your own business, but never felt you had the time. Now would be the perfect time!
• Begin a new hobby or craft that has always intrigued you, but you never took the time to learn.
• Join a club or organization where you can interact with others who have the same interests as you.

Next, prepare for the quiet, lonely times. When your teen or young adult leaves ‘the nest’, you may experience episodes of loneliness and sadness because you’ve always had your child or children close by. Here are some things you can do to help ease those times.

• Call them. You might think they don’t want to be bothered by you, but chances are they miss you as much, if not more, than you miss them. This is a big change for them too, and they most likely will love hearing their mom’s voice on the other end of the phone.
• Write a letter to them. Even if you don’t send it, write it. It will help you feel closer to them, allowing you to express your thoughts and feelings.
• Get a care package ready to send. This will help fill the void of not having that child around to nurture and care for any longer.
• Go on a vacation with your hubby or friends. Don’t sit there and wallow in your sorrows. It’s okay to miss your child and miss the care-giving and nurturing you were created for, but if it’s causing depression, you need to do something about it. You probably have other relationships that need to be nurtured and cared for as well, so now is the best time to build those up and get out and have some fun with other family members and friends.
• Start taking care of you. You’ve done a great job raising your child/children, now it’s time to take care of yourself. Begin an exercise program or join a gym. You’ll probably meet lots of interesting people there who are probably going through a similar experience.

Being an ‘empty-nester’ is more difficult for some than others. But by making the most of this time, you’ll soon find it can be a great experience for you and your child.

About Aurelia

Aurelia Williams is a certified Life Coach and author of Journey To Joy a clear-cut step-by-step action guide to help you claim the happiness you deserve. Grab your copy today! To find out more about Aurelia’s coaching visit today and sign up for your complimentary session with the Real Life Coach

Contest

Don’t forget to leave your feedback on this post. One lucky commenter will win the Journey to Joy Gift package that includes:

1.    A free session with the Real Life Coach, Aurelia Williams
2.    A copy of the Journey to Joy e-book
3.    A $25 Bath and Body Works Gift Card

All you have to do for your chance to win is comment on this post and the others in the Journey to Joy blog tour. For each comment that you leave your name will be entered into the drawing for the prize. Comments must be more than 15 words long and relevant.

A winner will be chosen at the end of the blog tour and announced on Monday March 1, 2010. Be sure to provide your email address in the provided space so that you can be contacted in the event that you win.

For the last ten years networking has undergone a makeover thanks to the maturity of the Internet and the launch of social networking websites.  Slowly but surely we’re learning that networking isn’t about what you can get out of someone else, but more about the enjoyment that comes from meeting others of similar interests and learning what you can do for each other.

First and foremost social networking is about “quality” sharing.

It’s fairly common knowledge that there are almost 1/2 a billion people on Facebook and millions of people are using Twitter every day. For some this news means the potential for many commercial transactions, for others these social networking sites represent places they visit each day to converse with people they’ve come to know as friends.

Of course a good percentage of these people who socialize in these social networks also have businesses and their participation has a lot to do with generating exposure and interest in what they do to earn a living. The point here is that business transactions are a by product of developing good relationships with the people we converse with online.

I recently joined a woman’s group specifically for “baby boomers” called Boomer Diva Nation and it’s run by author and former journalist Beverly Mahone.  It’s fast becoming one of my favorite places to socialize, converse, learn and connect with others of my generation.

My appreciation for the people and conversations in this group  is what brings me back there each day. Case in point: I may one day learn that one of the ladies I converse with in this cozy spot on the web is also a spa owner (actually I met her last week!).  When next I find myself in need of spa products I’ll have my new friend I’ve just met through networking as a top-of-mind supplier.

That’s a demonstration of how networking through relationship building can produce good outcomes on the social and business levels. So what do you like most about online networking?

Until next time,

Sharon

P.S. Remember to visit us this Friday, February 26  if you want a chance to win the Life Coaching and Body and Bath Works Package from Life Coach Aurelia Williams!

Friendships are in my mind as important to our mental health as a balanced diet is to our physical health.  For some people sisters or even mothers are their best friends. But I think regardless of how someone comes into your life, the whole process of treating someone like a friend is a matter of choice, and that’s important.

I recently got a call from a dear friend who was let go from a professional position that frankly she was too good for. While she would have likely left sooner than later of her own accord, the suddenness of it was unsettling.  I was just glad that she knew she could call me and get a sympathetic ear and some advice she could hopefully use.

I’ll be thinking of her just as I think about the needs and aspirations of my family, because she’s my good friend.  And as I come up with ideas and suggestions that might help her, I’ll share them.  That’s the wonder and benefit of keeping a circle of real, genuine friends.

Modern living today is full of priorities and quick changes that can leave us dizzy. Being too self reliant in this kind of an environment can break the best of us.  You know that song “Lean on Me”? The lyrics are powerful and worth listening to, again and again (see the video below).  We are definitely stronger in community with one another and it starts with our families and our friends.

Give a good friend you haven’t spoken to in a while a call today.  Your call might come just in time.

P.S. Remember to visit us this Friday, February 26  if you want a chance to win the Life Coaching and Body and Bath Works Package from Life Coach Aurelia Williams!

Fast forward a couple decades and like so many of you reading this, beyond retirement financial planning, I haven’t got a plan for how I’m going to live in retirement.  That’s probably because I don’t plan to retire.

I think the notion of stopping to go on a 20 year sit-at-home-or-in-Florida vacation is not financially feasible for a lot of people nor is it particularly appealing.

Life is just too full of opportunities and choices to “retire” from it.   Look at the large  increase in entrepreneurship in recent years.  Sure many of today’s new small business owners are those individuals who have been downsized from firms decimated by this economy, but there are others in that group of rising entrepreneurs.

A lot of skilled and experienced baby boomers and mid career men and women are taking advantage of the opportunities offered in a recessionary economy.

When the economy is weak, store and office space becomes more affordable.  There are also government sponsored training and funding initiatives designed specifically for the new small business owner. The Internet has also made it possible for anyone with some initiative and skill to start a business under $100.

I won’t launch into all the business ideas that are out there in this post, but it’s a good idea to think about how you’d like to spend your time from mid-life onwards and how that interest could become your first or next business!

Once you have that idea or even if you don’t have it, take a look at a good business plan to get you asking the kinds of questions that are helpful to creating a foundation for a lasting business. For a free business plan, complete with templates and documents that you can download visit the Small Business Academy.

You’ll find throughout this blog that I’m often cheering for the benefits of running an online business and that’s because of the flexibility it gives you to run your business from almost anywhere you choose.

For instance, even though your dream may have been to open a cute store front shop to sell your products or services, you can actually still open up a store front shop, reach more people and pay $0 for rent by opening up a shop online.

You’ll instead pay for things like your website hosting (as little as $7 per month in some cases) and an automated shopping cart to process orders online (e.g. a shopping cart allows you to accept Paypal and credit card payments from your customers online). The cost for shopping carts varies (from $50 to $100 per month for good shopping cart services). One of the most affordable and reliable shopping carts is WAHM Cart.

I hope I’ve helped to get your creative juices flowing.  So..what’s your “non-retirement” plan?

Until next time,

Sharon

To get a little help in this area, many people, from celebrities to any one of your neighbors, use life coaches. That’s why I am so excited to be welcoming to our blog this Friday, acclaimed life coach and author, Aurelia Williams.

Aurelia is well known and appreciated for her candor and ability to listen and provide “real life” solutions and strategies for women. She has been featured in various media including, ABC TV’s News Channel 8 in Washington DC and for almost 10 years she has been providing advice to women on various issues from personal organization and careers to relationships and parenting teens.

Her popular book Journey to Joy has inspired and guided many women (including me) through life’s interesting curves and dips.  Now here’s more good news:

In addition to sharing with us some insight into a particular issue many of us are going through or will be going through soon, Aurelia will be giving away to one lucky reader who comments on her post, the following w0nderful gift package:

1. Free session with the Real Life Coach, Aurelia Williams
2. A copy of the Journey to Joy e-book
3. $25 Bath and Body Works Gift Card

For a chance to win this lovely package, make sure you visit www.momsprimeyears.com on Friday, February 26th to read Aurelia’s specially written post for our readers.  And don’t forget to share your questions or opinions in a comment so that you’ll be eligible to win the beautiful prize package.

I’m thrilled that Aurelia is preparing a special post for you and just know that you’re going to adore her as much as I do.

Until next time,

Sharon

P.S. If you’re an entrepreneur, or thinking about becoming one, then might I suggest to you that Monday is a great time to dive into some learning materials that might help you boost your new online business?

Visit Small Business Academy to learn more or sign up on this page for the Mom’s Prime Year’s list. I’ll be sending out lifestyle and small business information to my subscribers.

That’s great news for the business/professional part of our lives, but what about the personal part? The funny thing is it seems like the older some of us get the more intertwined things become. As our focus shifts from parenting to other things, we start to demand more from those other aspects of our lives.

Why shouldn’t we expect our jobs, small businesses or home pursuits to be totally satisfying?  It’s not only the youth of today who demand more from their work environment, it’s the older generation as well (especially the baby boomer set).

So what do we do about it?  We search out networks, resources and individuals who can educate and inspire us in our pursuit of the good life. I’m not talking about finding “gurus” who will show you how to make a million dollars and live your life by the pool, rather I’m talking about other women and men like you who are on the same journey and have experiences and insight to share.

We’ve each learned so much already from our own lives. The journey going forward is an opportunity to improve our effectiveness at leading a life built upon choice.

Not that any of us have magical powers, but there is an aspect of the “self-fulfilling prophecy” when we set our minds on something. Think about what is important to you at this point in your life and choose it. For example, you might say to yourself any mix of the following:

• I choose to be healthy
• I choose to be in a loving, nurturing adult relationship
• I choose to be happily single
• I choose to grow my business
• I choose to change careers
• I choose to explore the countries and people that make our earth beautiful
• I choose to surround myself with friends that are open to good and positive things in life

I had fun writing the list and all I had to do was think about the various people in my life who are doing amazing things through choice.

So what are you going to do to get your self improvement buzz going?  What do you want to focus more on this year? What are you tired of putting off and what steps can you take to realize some of the goals you know you are ready for?

Until next time,

Sharon

P.S. I had promised a little surprise for you on Friday, but the information didn’t get to me until Friday night, so stay tuned for the next post And one more thing… please sign up for the Mom’s Prime Years list where I can communicate more directly with you on upcoming events and opportunities that I’m made aware of. The sign up box is on every page of this website on the top right hand side of the page.

You’re likely not use to asking what it is you want because you’ve been so accustomed to putting off your personal needs and interests while you encourage and support your children or others in your family.

If you’re aren’t one of those women who kept completely in touch with her needs during those child rearing years, after the kids have grown or ventured off to college or work is a pretty good time to start re-connecting with those parts of yourself you may have ignored over the years.

I’m not just talking about finally getting an overdue manicure or taking an exotic trip, but really asking yourself what are the things in life that inspire and satisfy you?

• Perhaps you’ve always wanted to be more civic minded? If so, why not look into a volunteer position as a board member or volunteer at your favorite charity or local hospital?
• Starting a business may have been out of the question when you had young children under foot or demanding teens wrangling your schedule.  Contact your local chamber of commerce or look through free and affordable learning material at places like the Small Business Academy.
• Maybe you’d just like to connect with old friends you haven’t had time for over the years.  Why not create a lunch or supper club and get together once a month at someone’s home for good conversation and friendship.

Obviously I’ve just scratched the surface in terms of the kinds of mid-life choices out there from which you can choose.  The important thing is to start thinking about what gives you joy and satisfaction…at this stage of life.

I have a special surprise coming your way this Friday, February 19, 2010, so be sure to visit this blog on that date - it will be all about YOU.

Until then, I wish you well.

Sharon

P.S. We’ll be offering new resources and gifts to our “Mom’s Prime Years” list in the coming weeks, so make sure you sign up in the subscriber’s box on the right hand side of this page.

Until then we have the “blahs”…or do we? How any of us feels at any given moment is entirely up to each of us.  Sure life happens, but there are steps we can take to make ourselves feel strong, positive and ready for the next opportunity or challenge life throws our way.

Let’s talk about opportunities. As adults we have the opportunity to take ourselves away to places that can rejuvenate our spirit and give us new perspective.  Sometimes that place is a seat in your best friend’s kitchen, other times that place is a little less familiar.  Like a spa or a rural retreat somewhere.

Here’s an idea for you to consider when the resources are right and you’re ready for a real change.

Jamaica offers an affordable, not-too-far away from home trip that will soothe your senses with its environment, food, services and unique hotels. I speak from experience. Key on my places to visit on my next trip is the Hotel Mockingbird Hill in Port Antonio.

Since opening 15 years ago, the eco-friendly Hotel Mockingbird Hill has been named a leader in eco-tourism and sustainable tourism development in Jamaica and the Caribbean.

The hotel received the American Express/CHA prize for being the most Environmentally Friendly Friendly Small Hotel for 2 years running in addition to receiving  full Green Globe Certification.

Here are some of the reasons why they are considered Jamaica’s best environmentally friendly hotel:

• Solar Energy
• Rainwater Harvesting
• Chlorine free pool running on renewable energy
• Organically sourced food items wherever possible

Eager to learn more about their beautiful spa services, cooking classes and art gallery? Contact Hotel Mockingbird at:

info@hotelmockingbirdhill.com / skype mockingbirdees / telephone: 1-876-993-7134 / website www.hotelmockingbirdhill.com.

Depending on the time of the month, the actions of your children, and the state of your home, finances and love life - the answer to that question can vary.

Aren’t there some days that you are thankful to have the health of your children and other loved ones even if your bank account isn’t so healthy?

Then on other days, because we’re human, envy can come into play causing us to look with less than brotherly love on old friends or colleagues whose financial success exceeds our own.

It’s battle many of us deal with to varying degrees of success.  Pop psychologists encourage us to avoid those dark thoughts by keeping journals where we list those things we are thankful for to encourage a culture of gratitude.

While I’m no big fan of pop psychology, the whole notion of being thankful for the ”real” gifts in our lives is something that many of us were taught in our families or faith groups. Sometimes we need that reminder to look beyond the obstacles of the day to see the big picture of your life.

You know the saying “not being able to see the forest for the trees?” Well that’s a sentiment that is never more true than during this age of rapid change and constant busyness.

Sometimes we’re so caught up in what’s wrong with our lives that we fail to see the big picture that is made up of small successes and triumphs.

According to psychologist Dr. Benna Sherman “psychological research literature repeatedly demonstrates that gratitude is a significant predictor of happiness.  It’s not what or how much you have that defines whether you’ll be happy.  It’s whether you are grateful for what you have that matters.  Once the most basic survival needs are met, having more doesn’t make you happy.  How you feel about what you have is what determines whether you are a happy.”

And while I love my 50 year old, little house, a new bay window and one of those built in capocchino makers would add nicely to my current state of happiness!

One of the challenges of mentoring older children is helping them with a curriculum we know longer understand as well we might.  sure I took calculus in high school but that was 25 years ago and this English major has buried those memories, far, far away-lol!

Here are some tips to try to help your older teen get through exams:

• Try to help control the distractions that can disrupt study time.  As much as you want to watch CSI, try to go cold turkey these few weeks.  Even though your teen may be studying in her room or in another area of the house, sometimes a trip to the kitchen to get a refreshment will end up turning into a 30-minute break catching up on CSI with you.  Keep the house as quiet as you can.
• Prepare light and healthy dinners during exam week.  Less carbs and more veggies and protein will give your teens the energy they need for long study sessions.
• Monitor chat time on cell phones, MSN and Facebook.  Don’t start an argument but sometimes a gentle reminder that chat time is eating into study time is just what your teen needs.
• Remember when the kids were young tikes and you’d promise them some special treat upon completion of some task or chore?  Well even though we’re raising our teens to be self-motivated individuals, it won’t hurt to offer some treat upon the completion of their exams.  Just the knowledge of something special at the end of exams is enough to energize sleep deprived teen in the middle of exams.