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Sometimes you feel like a NUT....

liz@moneyandmatrimony.com (Liz Curtis) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:57:00 -0400

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" is a quote we often hear. But who REALLY wants to be considered or called a fool.....I mean, we all have made some choices where it was almost like outer body experiences, but I like to give myself a little credit when I am able to recognize my pitfalls and make a turn around.

Last bible study, I heard my pastor say that confession is not a moment, but a process. This spoke volumes to me because oftentimes when people confess, it's normally an acknowledgement, apology, sometimes whimpering (depending on the offense) and then that is the conclusion of the matter. People oftentimes fall RIGHT back into traps.

Recently, I read about the Proverbs 7 harlot. This lady was OFF THE CHAIN horrible! For the sake of this post, let's just look at verses 24-26....24 Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.

Did you catch that last verse? Read it again! Could you imagine a strong man being slain by a harlot?

Now, I know everyone isn't struggling with sexual immoralities, so I won't go there. But goodness gracious I sure have a list of other hang ups that I can address. For instance, many of you already know about this weight loss journey I am on. I know for a fact that I am much better than I used to be when it comes to food.

It wasn't until I recognized and admitted to the fact that I was addicted to food (and needed help) that I began to get help. Since 2008 I have been at it.... Up and down the scale, back and forth and I just got tired of it. Now, I'm enjoying my lower weight, even though I have quite a way to go.

See, I had to look at it for what it WAS... I was abusing my body (temple) with food. After the eating, I didn't apologize to myself, but I sure felt the regret. That regret wasn't enough for me to stop the abuse. But now knowing that confession is a process.... just know Weight Watchers (WW) is right on time for me! The action behind the words is what counts, because WW is there, but if I don't go to the meetings, WW won't do me any good.

We've got to know that the enemy won't always attack in the areas in which we have strength.... As a matter of fact, he'll attack us in our weak places and overcome us if we neglect to accept wisdom and fill our hearts with the word of God. With that, we've got to confess our faults and then TAKE ACTION!

Proverbs 7 strange woman had the ultimate set up for the men that were passing by unaware (with their issues) of her trap.... That's important to note... if the men had been passing by completely NOT tempted by a married woman, they probably could have walked right on by. But this had to be an area these STRONG men were WEAK in.

Don't be fooled by that revolving issue, lie and enemy that you are facing today, they won't always come with warning signs written on the label, so watch as well as pray. Look at your marriage... look at your children... look at your finances and every area you encompass and watch for your weaknesses.

DON'T BE SURPRISED when the enemy comes in.... instead let's BE PREPARED, always remembering that it is sometimes a process to being completely restored. Sometimes, you'll feel like a nut... but most times, let's NOT!

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Side Effects may include....

liz@moneyandmatrimony.com (Liz Curtis) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:36:00 -0400

Ok so, I LOVE these crazy new commercials where they are trying to get you to buy a medicine (drug). During the first 10 seconds of the commercial you are convinced that this is the solution. And then you get to the last 20 seconds of the commercial and all you hear are the risks involved with you choosing to take that drug. So get rid of that nasal congestion, but beware, you just might have a massive heart attack and even death!

Sounds crazy right? Then why do we do the same things with our lives. To fix the smallest of issues, we will go all out and end up making a bigger mess. For example, early in my marriage Tony and I struggled financially. I was young, dumb, and in college and had recently received my financial aid check. Well, both of our cell phones had been cut off from non-payment, so to me, an easy solution would be to pay the cell phone bill with my financial aid. As a surprise to Tony, that is what I did!

Yeah...so...Tony wasn't too happy about that. The hundreds of dollars I spent was supposed to be spent on rent and other necessities that I didn't know about and WHEW! I made a big mess! I was able to cry my way back about $200 from Verizon, but the rest was gone.

I won't tell you ALL the repercussions of that BAD decision, but I will tell you that I learned some valuable lessons. Here are a few of those lessons:

It is SUPER important to speak to your spouse about MONEY! And don’t just speak to them…. Come to an understanding about the path you both want your finances to go in. This entire situation could have been avoided with proper communication about our money, bills, etc.
Not all problems/issues are worth fixing right away…. sometimes you just have to ride them out until the time is right. To me, I saw the cell phones off and instead of waiting to see what would be the best move... I went ahead and did my own fix. (and not having a cell phone wasn't a MAJOR thing, especially since we had a house phone) I could have waited!
Even when you have the solution, make sure that solution doesn’t have SEVERE side effects. (This seems to preach all by itself)

That last one is a lesson that I try to keep to the fore front of my marriage. There have been times that both Tony and I have done things to the other that was ill-received. However, we've come to a point where it now just makes sense to be reasonable. So, YES it hurt when you stepped on my big toe, but I'm not about to go get a hammer and put it to your pinky toe!

See to some, their solution is to get even with the offender. But look at the risks! You get even and the satisfaction slowly, but surely turns into regret. (When you really love someone... it does turn to regret) And those feelings of hurt, regret, and guilt unattended lead to DEATH. That ultimately leaves you just like those commercials... all good in the beginning and just a HOT MESS by the end!

So today, I said all of that really just to say.... let's really consider our actions and reactions towards our spouse, money, work, church, etc.... Sometimes issues are small and we MAKE them big. We move too fast and end up with bigger issues. I heard it best from my mom, "Haste makes waste!" Slow down, think, and then decide... otherwise you may end up with a long list of unwanted side effects all because of a small hiccup!

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"Best of" Articles from Around the Web | 1st Edition

info@salimedia.com (Tony Curtis) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 03:13:00 -0500

My wife and I try to be avid readers. If you look in our Kindles you will see books ranging from personal finance, to religion, to entrepreneurship, to leadership, to all other sorts of categories. On top of that, we often read up on personal finance trends and marriage tips from other websites.

There are alot of great websites out there housing some very good information.We know of several we visit frequently that create conversation around the topics of money and marriage. Many of which we thought may be beneficial to others.

So we decided so start sharing some of the articles we find might be especially interesting to our readership right here on our site. Now we won't be posting the entire articles, but we will place a link along with a brief description of what the article is about. This will allow you to visit the sites that may be of interest to you.

With no further to do, here is this week's "Best of" from around the web

John Frainee posted a great article about the importance of contentment in your journey to becoming Financially Free. I visit this site regularly. It is full of great money lessons from a christian perspective. You should check it out!
I read an article earlier about 10 Financial Mistakes You Can't Afford to make. This article has some good advice concerning investing, student loans, and vehicle purchases. A Good read!
If you are Having Troubles with Late Payments, John over at married with debt has some great advice to get yourself back on track.
Self doubt is a killer of dreams that can be hard to overcome. If you are struggling with self doubt in any area of your life, here is a way to kick doubt to the curb!

Well, that is it for this week! We would like to know if you have found any of these articles helpful. So, if you have read any of these posts we would like to hear about it!

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The Catalyst For Change

info@salimedia.com (Tony Curtis) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 08:28:00 -0500

What causes people to change? Many people want to be better in some way or another, but what causes people to actually step up and do something about it? The specific answers to these questions can vary so widely that it would be nearly impossible to contain it in one internet blog post. However, there is one thing I believe holds true in most scenarios.

In order for us to take steps toward change, we need to see something ahead of us that is greater and more desirable than where we are right now. When you are focusing on the "now", you will let how tired you are dictate whether or not you cook that next meal or call in a pizza. When you are focusing on the "now", your feelings will overwhelm you into making emotional purchases. However, if you can shift your thinking and focus on the future you have a shot at lasting change. You can forgo the pizza because you have something you want more than the pizza. You can tell yourself, "no" to that impulse purchase because you have a better use for those dollars.

Earlier in February my wife and I were approached by Jackie from The Debt Myth about a guest post opportunity. She heard about our story on a forum we frequently participate in and wanted to know if we would be willing to do a write up on the #1 thing that helped us get our finances on track (Financial Peace University). Needless to say we were excited and jumped at the opportunity. You can read a little about our story here.

So, I posed that same question to you. What is the #1 thing that helps you make positive changes in your life? In other words, What is/was your catalyst for change?

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Fall up!

liz@moneyandmatrimony.com (Liz Curtis) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 07:45:00 -0500

As many of my friends and family know, I have been on a weight loss journey since 2008. The scale was topping off with numbers reflecting the weight of line-backers in the NFL! While this journey has been a roller coaster, I find myself more motivated today than I have ever been.

Gosh, I can't tell you how many times, I've looked in the mirror and was like.... weight, why won't you just fall off and leave me be! But I've realize that it takes more than just wanting something. Anybody can see something that they think will be good and "want" it. But oftentimes, permanent changes require a full and complete 180.

So, I realize that thought isn't too deep, because we all take on these changes we want to make. Some people do it once a year, some people do it simply from the motivation of a peer or loved one. And some people start making changes when they just get completely fed up with themselves and their errors.

With my weight lost journey, I have always had a great intent and motive, BUT I was only willing to change for a certain amount of time.... and when the journey got hard, it was extremely EASY to give up. I never had a "I give up moment", but it was little small things that caused me to get back OFF track. An extra brownie here, another super-size it there and before you knew it, the scale got ugly again!

Well, this year I got tired of that mess and I have completely changed directions (mindset). In Proverbs 7, the bible speaks of a harlot that was able to bring down many STRONG men by seducing them. And I will never get tired of this story simply because I realize that the enemy (including myself, sometimes) loves to attack in the areas I am the most weak in. So what happens is, I think for awhile that I am cured and incapable of falling down. Then BOOM! ATTACK! and it's almost like I am back at square one.....

BUT, I've realized that I'm not at square one. Although, this weight loss journey hasn't been perfect, I have to look at the scale and celebrate that I have NEVER gone back to that HUGE ugly number that I was at. As a matter of fact, I am about 40 lbs. less than that number I started with.

The point is.... some changes take time. Even when you fall, don't stay down (And for goodness sake, don't be surprised if you fall)... instead, reflect on the progress you've made. I call it falling up, because the moment I regress, I've already got the "umph" to get back on track. Although I am NOT where I want to be, I'm certainly NOT where I use to be.

It's so easy to get caught up in negativity when you haven't made the progress you thought you should have made by now. Instead of allowing negativity to set up residence in your life concerning that issue, spend the time setting up the new plan or re-vamping the original plan. BUT don't succumb to defeat because trying to be better produces a better marriage, a better future, and a better YOU! And YOU are worth the hassle!

Today, I'd like for you to think about any areas in your life that you struggle with and FACE them. Perseverance and determination, in spite of how we feel, is necessary to sustain a healthy you.

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