This little puppy woke me up, just like it was intended to do, like clockwork all over this world, and on all types of mornings — whether they were the rainy days that made me want to throw the covers over my head and ignore the outside world, or the sun-filled ones that made it very easy on my alarm clock to get me out of bed! I would have never gotten rid of this “Made in Germany” gem, but it just stopped working for me the other month, and as I found out later: this model is no longer produced — it was upgraded to a newer one with much more bells and whistles (not to mention double the price).

Well, I really had no other options (this company was so good to me for so long) and was forced to replace it with a similar-looking travel alarm that I found on the company’s Canadian website (note: Braun no longer sells clocks in the United States. The reason: who the hell knows) and in two weeks time it arrived in my mailbox. Now here I sit, ready and willing to compare my old clock (of which I loved as much as you can love an inanimate object) to this new thingamajig (of which I was pretty skeptical about, once I noticed a “Made in China” label). If this sort of stuff interests you, please read on (if not, catch me tomorrow with a new topic. So long):

The new model has a face light controlled by a single easy-to-reach bar. The old model had no light and was kind of hard to read in the night (it did, however, have illuminated hands). Chalk up one for the new model (sorry old reliable)!

The new model uses radio control. In my experience, however, I found out that you have to set it manually by holding down the light bar for about 10 seconds, then keeping it down for up to a minute until it reaches the current time. Then, if you overshoot, you’ll need to do it all over again. On the old model, you simply opened the back and turned a small wheel in either direction. One more for the old model!

On the new model, you have to hit the snooze button to silence the alarm for a few minutes. On the old model, a voice control sensor allowed you to simply yell something out loud to make it snooze (this was fun). My opinion: if you’d rather keep your eyes shut when you need more sleep, you’d agree that the old model takes this one as well!

On the old model, you could turn the alarm-set wheel either way to adjust the wake-up timer. On the new model, you can only turn it one way (why Braun? Was it cheaper for you to make it this way?). To wake up ten minutes earlier, you have to literally nudge it more than twenty times. If you turn it too far, you have to do it all over again while cursing. Old model once again!

On the old model, the alarm-set wheel turned silently. On the new model, it loudly clicks a hundred times as you go through the process. Some designer at Braun must have forgotten that wives don’t always retire as early as their husbands, and vice-versa. In my opinion, an alarm clock should run quietly, except at the time when you want it to wake you up. Major plus for the old model!

I can’t, and never will, for the life of me understand why great companies all over this world (especially the ones who have mastered the art of customer-friendly design) often remove the most user-focused features of their products in later models. I can only guess that they aren’t conducting very much customer research, and if they are maybe they’re just ignoring the results because they aren’t fitting in with the bottom line that a lot of places succumb to these days!

Braun is one of these great product companies, and I have bought many, many products from them — that is until now! This new alarm clock is a big disappointment, and I think the company should at least place this article in their suggestion box for future design reference.

Sorry Braun, but the truth is that I think you have been steadily going downhill ever since Dieter Hams left! Peter Schneider isn’t really cutting it over there, and I hope you guys are able to turn around before you take a nosedive like all the other companies who went the “Made in China” crap route! I sure hope not, but keep this in mind before something crazy like that happens!

This post, along with more great content, is available at MoneyRemix.

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Congratulations 2009’s New York Yankees…

You truly showed this nation that you can win anything, if you throw enough money at the problem! Yea, kids all across this nation are learning a valuable lesson here … and another thing they’re learning is that people like A-rod and Pettitte can use performance enhancing drugs, but others like J.C. Romero can’t! Oh, and that his (A-roid’s) home runs don’t actually have to leave the park to count (paid off umpires? Probably)! Way to go, New York … buy the best players out there, for twice as much as any other team can afford (don’t worry about that salary cap thing … because Selig’s too much of a p@#*y to put one in place) and you’ll have a shot at winning another one next year! Oh yea, almost forgot … Go Phillies (too bad your heart wasn’t enough to overcome this monstrosity)!!! You looked great this year, regardless!

Ok, now on to the good stuff that I dug up for you (while I consume some more of these bitter pills):

Daily Markets: Euro Leaders Outraged As General Motors Backs Out Of Opel Deal. Wow … GM finally did something that was considered a smart move! Opel? What the hell is an Opel? People actually go into a car dealership and ask to take a test drive in something called an Opel? You’re kidding me right? Way to go GM … the time is now to stop with the stupid moves and start with more like this!

The Money Game: The Homebuyer Tax Credit Is Officially Extended And Expanded. Oh no Chief … People aren’t buying houses anymore! Hey, remember that tax credit thing we screwed them over with a while back … you know the one that gave first time homeowners 8 grand to get stuck in an overpriced house, that’s sure to go down in value over the next few years? Yea, let’s try that one again, but this time let’s give the almost foreclosed on ones even less money … how does $6,500 sound?

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP: Woman Calls 911 to Report Own Drunk Driving. Ok, we all know that only dumbasses go around drinking and driving (note: this fact isn’t stopping people like Dennis Quaid, Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan, however) but to call the fuzz on yourself brings stupidity to a whole different level! This lady is a TARD, plain and simple!

Take Part: BPA Found In Canned Foods. Man, what the hell doesn’t have BPA in nowadays? This stuff is going to kill us all and the blind ass FDA doesn’t seem to be doing s@#t about it! Corporate greed, mixed with a lack of humanity is going to change our DNA to something we don’t want to be changed into … and no one’s doing anything about it! Damn you, canned food industry … damn you!!!

RaceWire: New York’s Elections Mostly Blah, with a Little Chutzpah. Wow … another New York “learning lesson” for this nation’s youth! Oh, it’s the same as the Yankee’s backwards moral of a story, you say? Oh, I see! Hey, are the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” going to come down soon, or what? Yea, this is indeed another disgrace, bought off with too much greed and money!

I know what you’re thinking, and yea it’s probably true … I AM a bit peed off about a World Series that was bought off before we ever took the field! Who wouldn’t be mad? Also, now the smug fair weather Yankee fans are going to be crawling out of the woodwork, all cockroach-like … and you know how annoying these people are! Sure, they have real fans, but you can certainly tell the difference (just like you could with all the new Phils fans last year [note: they annoyed me too])! So what do you think about this? Please let me know through my feedback section. This way, we’ll all be on the same page, and I’ll at least know what everyone’s thinking about my ramblings (notice: give me a few days, and there’ll be less Yankee hating in my voice. I just get this way sometimes).

Also, why don’t you subscribe to our feed or email like everyone else seems to be doing lately! Really, I have been a big hit in some circles lately, and I owe it all to the ones who are telling their people about me (so keep it up my friends … keep it up). Plus, by doing this, I’ll be able to send you instant notifications of all my latest posts, which I’m cracking my rocks for you each and every Monday through Friday (me no worka da weekends … EVA!! Never had … never will)!

Ok guys, I’ll see you back here on Monday! I’m going to go out and drink this pain away, and hopefully watch my Eagles stomp the Cowboys! Well, I’m out of here … must be moving on, as I have some cold beers, good tunes and a kick ass wife to go home to! Ok, I’ll catch you later — have yourself a super weekend! Go Birds! Go Flyers! Go Sixers! It’s harder to buy you way into these types of championships anyways!!!

This post, along with more great content, is available at MoneyRemix.

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For me, time is life, and I don’t like to waste it! This one jerk-off I met the other day, however, not only didn’t get this memo, but he also went on an on with his spiel, even though I assured him numerous times that I was not interested in the least. “But wait …” he kept saying. Then came my responses, “No … not at all … never.” Man, what don’t some people just “get it” when you tell them something!

Do you know what this type of marketing is all about? If so, I’ll catch up with you later. If not, let me give you a short rundown: for starters, only the names ever change (the essential information is always the same) and the following description will paint you a clear picture of how the vast majority of theses scams are full of crap, but not opportunity.

There are many names, and faces, for MLM (ex. Pyramid Scheme, Ponzi Scheme, Rat Society, etc.) but no matter what they’re called, they will always consist of at least three characteristics (every time, regardless of what that liar is telling you to your face):

1) The new person (you) has to cough up some amount of money to join!

2) You recruit others to join, the recruits cough up their cash and then the person on top gets most of the money!

3) The top dog then throws you some table scraps to keep you happy until it’s all over!

This scheme … err, scam benefits only the earliest birds, as they are the ones who will enjoy at least some income as more and more people sign up under them. However, this “company” is bound to fail, every single time, because it is not based on fundamental economic growth and the number of people who join will eventually run out (right before the phony company collapses. Isn’t that right, Madoff? Or should I say, “Mr. Madeoff with a lot of people’s money?”).

This is what happens in stock bubbles: the early adopters buy stocks and see their wealth quickly grow. Then they spread the good word, and more people join them. After this, everyone is happy right? Wrong! The reason: since this is not based on real economic growth, at some point, there is bound to be less buyers than sellers, and when this time eventually comes it will all be over (this is when the ones on the top flees with all the loot).

MLM is an ingenious way to mask a scam behind a product. The selling price for these products-that-couldn’t-make-it-in-the-real-world are set ridiculously high to quickly feed those at the top of the pyramid. However, it is also bound to fail because there will be a breaking point where you simply cannot get any more buyers to cough out those exorbitant rates for mildly useful health juices, bionic air cleaners or any other questionable products with falsely claimed usefulness.

The truth is, MLM simply does not work for anyone other than those who get in at the first couple levels. The vast majority of participants in such a scam will only lose their original investment, and make hardly any profit at all. This is my own personal guarantee!

Oh, as for that jerk that was trying to talk me into one of these scams: I eventually had to dump a diet soda over his head to wake him up to the beautiful world of reality (don’t worry, he’ll thank me later)!

This post, along with more great content, is available at MoneyRemix.

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Hey guys, true magic kicks some serious a@# … and no, I don’t mean the stupid type of magic that’s performed by douche bags like Copperfield, Blaine or Angel (those guys are too far over the top … plus it’s unbelievably phony with all the weird makeup, camera angles and diversions [A.K.A. hot chicks and smoking mirrors])! No, the sort of magic I enjoy out of life, and the type that will probably get you somewhere if you want it to, is the simple stuff – the card tricks, the coin behind the ear, etc. (note: I’ll take this kind of magic every day of the week)!

Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, the “hunger” for magic is universal … most human beings have it in some form or another. Here’s my proof: don’t most people pray, hoping their thoughts will influence reality (or hoping that something “otherworldly” will intervene on their behalf, which is kind of like the same thing, except that something else has performed the magic for them)? It’s true … you are actually creating the world you’re living in right now, and your future is dependent on your visualization of you becoming successful. This is everyday magic … pure and simple!

Our world is created by our imaginations! Take for example, the computer that you’re reading this article from, the chair you’re sitting on, or the 9-to-5 shift that you’re busting your balls to get through each workday — these things all started in someone’s imagination! We live in this world of pure imagination turned reality … we text while driving (well, some dumba@#es do) we email our bosses when we want to call in sick, and we come up with solutions to problems when we all put our heads together! Without imagination we’d still be roaming around freezing our a@#es off in a cave, surviving off of twigs, berries and the random dead animal that we fought tooth and nail to get our hands on (hell, even that required some good old cavemen ingenuity [ummmm, wooly mammoth! Sounds delish])!

Imagination leads to everything! For example: by watching a great movie, you get to live a new experience that takes you beyond your daily grind. You get to ride along into battle, watch a million dollars being made, or find out what love really is. Most importantly, your imagination just got wings to fly above everything else that’s bothering you. So, why not immerse yourself in a world where magic lives, breathes and never dies (that’s the world you need to live in … trust me!)? By developing the part of your mind which harnesses this power, you’re bound to find out what you were really placed on this earth for (trust me … it wasn’t to file things away alphabetically for 8 solid hours).

By “truly” believing in something, you’ll make it happen … AND you’ll begin to see that the magic was there the whole time, just waiting for you to discover it! Once you find the faith (and no, I don’t mean that phony stuff that your “only-nice-on-Sundays” church buddy believes in) then you have everything you’ll ever need to make anything you want to happen. Once you start this believing process, the world will change for you in an instant (which is going to be so sweet … you’ll see)!

“There’s no such thing as magic,” you say (perhaps because your religion tells you to think this way)? “Well, of course there is,” I answer back truthfully! The “magic” I’m referring to is the same stuff we wish would happen when we’re not trying to control every little aspect of our lives, or listening to those who are merely trying to control us (for their own secret agendas, nonetheless). That’s where the real magic is! So go out right now and find it — and welcome to the good life!

This post, along with more great content, is available at MoneyRemix.

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“Should I do this? Or should I do that? I need to do this, before I do that, but I’ll wait a few minutes until I go and do that … that’s for sure (or is it?). After that, I better check this, and then maybe do that … oh man, it never stops. Oh well, maybe it’s too late!”

Yea, sad to say, but over-thinking is something we all do … like all the time. And sometimes we go waaayyy overboard in the process! During these times, most human beings can’t stop this stupid, time-consuming babbling nonsense (thanks evolution … you really helped us out on this one [note: I was being factitious])!

Now, here’s the truth: thinking is actually a good thing, but over-thinking certainly is not … to say the least! Overanalyzing definitely causes anxiety, which has the ability to hijack our thoughts and cause them to race a million miles per minute, obsess over the small stuff or otherwise make us believe things that aren’t actually true. Now, stopping this runaway thought process may take practice, but it can certainly be done. The first thing you’ll need to do is acknowledge it. Then, you have to tell yourself that these strange, scary and weird thoughts are only thoughts. After that, ask yourself if this thought process is real or some imagined ignorant fear (ok, I know that sounds kind of psycho … but this is where our brains take us sometimes — admit it)!

Seriously, the people who succeed in life are also the people who get as little information as needed, and then act on something! These winners take action as soon as they know what’s needed, and that’s the name of their game (or success in other words). Sure, they’re going to mess up in the beginning, but who doesn’t mess up in the beginning? The quicker they get through their “failure” phase, the faster they’ll find true success. So from this minute forward, stop thinking so damn hard about s@#t — go out and take action instead! Why? Well, your knowledge about something will expand faster this way, and so will your paycheck — that’s why! What are still sitting there for? Go — NOW!

Ok, I’m not celebrating ignorance here (sorry, dumb people) so here comes the disclaimer: leaping headfirst isn’t the best way to, say, go BASE jumping for the first time! However, if you’re doing something with a little less risk (like starting a home-based business) maybe you’re better off ignoring all the naysayers who are bound to tell you that you need to spend tons of time and money on planning, researching, testing, educating yourself, and studying the competition first (note: if they knew how to make money at it, don’t you think they would be doing it? Think about that “man atop a mountain” question for a second, and THEN answer).

The problem with over-thinking is that you can really only focus on one thing at a time! So the next time you’re faced with a complex life-altering decision, realize that this over-thinking will probably lead to giving certain factors unnecessary importance, and it’s also very likely to produce flawed results, and a bunch of inconsistencies! So to you, my valued reader, I say this: start relying on your gut instinct a little more (it’s naturally good at getting you to where you need to be … if you take the time to listen to it)!

My “lesson” here is simple: trust yourself a little more, and don’t over-analyze everything in life (note: this little-known secret will easily get you through almost every situation that comes your way [I heard this somewhere … while I was giving myself time to think clearly. See how that works now?])!

This post, along with more great content, is available at MoneyRemix.

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