mOOnCakE dIArIEs

I am married now

2008-04-14T21:37:00.001-07:00

Loving marriage and life with someone else. Can't imagine dating anymore

Wedding

2007-06-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'm getting married in 4 days, 0 hrs and 53 minutes. Nope I can't say I have cold feet, but I can feel my life changing. It isn't so much the switch from single to married. It's all the other changes around me. While most brides are fussing about what the wedding will be about, it's the post wedding changes that make me most apprehensive.
Nate and I are moving out... out of SF and out of his family home (which I've gotten used to and love) to suburbia. We will truly be on our own. We've met our new neighbors already and they're wonderful, but it's a different realm. They'll know us as "us" and not mooncake and nate.
I just had a thought today about how much I'll miss my parents and being at home and vegging and not be responsible for so many things like a mortgage and such. Even though I've had a mortgage before this and even though I've had to do my own laundry and clean my dishes, I can't abandon all of that and go home and hide out. I suppose previously I felt I could just ditch the job, ditch the apartment, ditch responsibility and go home and suffer no real consequences that really mattered to me. This is no longer an option.
I guess my point is that the realilty of permanance here in the bay area has finally hit me. Of course, one can't predict the future, but even in my 8-9 years here, I've never felt that this was permanently home. Now it is.
I almost want to tell my parents that I'm sorry for choosing to live so far away from them. I really am. I've always missed them, but never this way. I'm sure people cry weddings for all sorts of reasons, but this is what I'll be shedding a tear over.

2x infinity is still infinity

2007-05-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

It is a little under 2 months to the wedding but for the last month, the wedding has taken a back seat. Since March and April, Nate and I have embarked on the other two most stressful events in life, namely changing jobs and moving.

Nate got a new job about 30 miles from where we live now. Great job and I'm glad he's fulfilling his dream. The result of that however is that we decided to buy a house and move closer to where he works. As you may recall, I went house hunting last summer with my girlfriend and bought a place with her. This year, exactly a year later, I'm house hunting with Nate and consequently selling my old place.

Talk about stress.

Over the weekend, we found a place we both like... albeit small. It was affordable and in a neighborhood we love. Every other house on the street is way over our price range. Our house though, is an ugly duckling, but we think it has inherent beauty. Unfortunately, no one else sees it that way except for us. This weekend was filled with angst as we heard "after the fact" objections to the house.

Talk about more stress...

Ironically, the wedding has provided lots of solace. It's way way less stressful than looking for a house. I made Nate go shopping for his suit on Saturday. We had a lot of fun. I thought he was absolutely handsome and gorgeous. Next Saturday, we are going shopping for dresses for the flower girls. I'm excited about that too! It's a lot easier than shopping for a house.

People keep asking us why we want to put ourselves through all this stress. I mean, we could put some of this off until after the wedding. Nate had a great way of putting it. He said, "we're already infinitely stressed. 2 * infinity is still inifinity... so why not"

I liked that explanation. But I reserve the right to get massage therapy in case the crap hits the fan.

Totally Inappropriate

2007-02-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

This weekend, when surfing through a bunch of wedding websites, I sneaked a peak at the registries. Nothing wrong with that except I typed in "Eddie LastNameUnmentionable". I dated Eddie three years ago and was told that I wasn't marriage material and that he wanted to be married within the next two years or so.

So I sneaked a look and could not find his name in the gift registries.

Hah!

Take that!

I am really maturing in my old age.

What to do when you have raw sewage spilling out into your garage?

2007-01-23T16:32:00.000-08:00

Here is the first challenge as a new homeowner:
What to do when you have raw sewage spilling out into your garage?
a) pour bleach over all the disgusting sludge and sewage that's come out of the pipes
b) call 4 plumbers cos no one can find the blockage
c) call the insurance company only to be dicked around and told there's nothing wrong with your sewer
d) take minimal showers, don't wash dishes, don't do laundry for 4 days
e) all of the above

If you answered (e) you have won the grand prize!!!

BTW, I'd just like to saythat people are better off uninsured cos insurance covers nothing and all you do is pay through your nose, wait around for them to send their people and then get told that they don't think there's anything wrong with your home even though there's still sewage coming out the pipes. If you have no insurance, at least you know you gotta do it yourself... instead of clinging onto empty promises. Steve Poizner is going to get a really nasty letter from me... and so is the insurance company.

Wedding Planning

2007-01-19T15:46:00.000-08:00

Everyone keeps asking me how that is going. Rather ok other than the fact that the wedding coordinator at the church is a scatterbrain. I should be worried about the guestlist and who's coming and our budget, but right now the only thing on my mind is getting rid of my armpit fat. I know it's very superficial... but that's all I care about right now. No armpit fat for the wedding. Apparently I have to get to the gym and do a whole bunch of dumbbell manouvres. Not my cup of tea. There must be some yoga position for this. Or I may just have to up the cardio to burn it off. The trouble with that is you can't tell the body where to burn fat off of. There must be a pill for this.

Testing new technology

2007-01-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

apparently I can blog now via email. let's see if this works

More major than major

2006-09-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

Today,I am craving Nasi Lemak, a Singaporean dish that I love. I can't really translate what Nasi Lemak is except to describe that it's coconut rice with fried fish and ikan bilis (tiny mackeral) and agenerous serving of sweekt belachan (hot sauce). Even though SF has so much to offer in terms of asian cuisine, it still can't compare to what we have in Singapore.

I miss Singapore. I don't think I've felt more homesick in the last 8 years. And I'm feeling homesick because I've made a huge decision over the last two weeks to live here forever. Nate and I are getting married.

The first thing my mom said when I told her the news was, "you're never coming home". And while it's true a girl must leave her family to be married, I just never thought it would be such a sad experience. My parents are happy and sad at the same time. At first I thought it ridiculous. But as the days pass, I seem to have taken on their mixed reaction.

My mom keeps reminding me, that I'm no longer a girl but a woman. Just exactly what that means I don't know. But it makes me feel like I can no longer cuddle up with mommy or have her cut my toenails. Ok, maybe she shouldn't be cutting my toenails, but that's always been mommy territory and mommy time. Why I can't still be her little girl and a married woman I don't know. All I know is that I'm feeling rather homesick and rather sad that this cannot be.

Major life events

2006-07-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to update this blog for the longest time. However, I seem to have the best writing thoughts whenever I'm not at my desk. I always seem to have them when I'm at walking home, or at the dinner table- and then I'm too lazy to get to the computer to write it down. Or, as it has been happening lately, my modem dies and I can't get online. Sucks.

I bought a house. With my friend K. Well, not just a house, but a whole building with tenants and all.

I should have blogged about the whole process, but really, it was such a CRAZY process, I had no time to even think about it. And of course all this happened during the worst time of work. Close of the academic year, finals etc etc. Looking back, I don't even have a clue how we pulled it off. I used to wonder why people needed a realtor to look at houses with them... after all you don't need a personal shopper to go shopping with you (although it would be nice), but gee whiz... now I know. And if you need one in the SF area, let me know. I'll tell ya who to call.

Given our limited budget, we looked at the weirdest buildings. The funkiest there was to offer. Even our realtor said so. He couldn't believe we were interested in some of them even. But hey, we like to see the diamond in the rough. Even so, we faced tough competition from tons of people. We thought we were the only folks who liked funky, but hey... there are lots of funky people out there who like funky too. Just to give you an idea of funky, we saw one with red shag carpet, lace victorian curtains and every door in the house had peepholes in it. It apparently was a doctor's office/ residence previously... Don't ask!

I didn't think I would buy a house before I got married, but here I am. K and I are doing the urban single woman thing. Aim to be independently wealthy. Can't depend on the marriage factor these days. If it happens it happens.

Anyway, that's what's been happening. Oh and I made the best bolognese sauce last night ever. I wanted to put this out there cos I cooked til midnight last night for this sauce to turn out well. Something I would NEVER have done two years ago, or imagine doing.

So there you have it. Two major accomplishments to begin my thirties.

I am thirty

2006-03-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

I used to read these blogs belonging to single women who were thirty and over- I remember thinking, gosh, thirty is so old.

Lo and behold, here I am. Thirty.

I think thirty one will be better, cos I'll be over the "oh my god,I'm thirty what am I going to do" syndrom. Right now it's just one thing at a time.

Serenity now.

2006-02-13T12:04:00.000-08:00

As it appears, the new year is already flying by. I barely had time to catch my breath after christmas and it's already February. Christmas was crazy, to say the least. Nate and I threw 4 Christmas parties and then went to a few. I don't know how I made it, but it's over... and I'm glad. I was glad for it, but am also glad that it's over.

And then, my cousins from Singapore arrived for a visit. Again, total chaos. The worst thing was the weather. Two weeks of rainy dreary weather. I felt terrible that my guests had to see SF in her poorest weather. There was some fun traipsing about in the rain... and then there were some days where we couldn't help but think, what were we thinking going out in this rain? On the day that Napa Valley flooded (hasn't flooded in the last 40 years), we went to Napa Valley. I must say, the vineyards saw roaring business because it was just too comfortable to step out into the rain once you were in a warm building where they let you try wine for a minimal amount. At some point, we felt bad and just had to buy the damn bottle. Driving home in the massive downpour was no fun. It was dark, and we had to take some roundabout detour since the main thoroughfare to SF was flooded. Never felt so scared driving in my life. I had no idea where I was going, save for the little orange signs that said "Detour This Way".

Chinese New Year was a hoot this year since I flew home to Singapore for it. The good thing was, my brother and another boy cousin brought their girlfriends home to "pai nien"... which I suppose loosely translated means visit. That distracted the aunts and irritating relatives who ask annually, "Why not married yet? I don't want to keep giving ang pow to you". Stingy pokers... I think I shall stay unmarried for the extra ang pow income during this time of year. If you don't know the tradition, married people have to give children and single people money when they "pai nien". I think it's my God-given tax break... married people get too many perks already.

Valentine's is tomorrow. I shall be spending it with a bunch of choir folks in preparation for Ash Wednesday. Fun! I shall be making chocolate coated strawberries tonight for all of us. Nate will be there... conducting the choir- hopefully some quiet time after.

In 17 days!!!

2005-11-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

It'll be time to buy a christmas tree and finally it will be legit to sing and play christmas songs. HURRAY!!!

Looking for God

2005-10-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Possibly in all the wrong places. I'll be the first to admit, I tried but failed to read the bible from cover to cover. I think I read all of Mathew, Luke and John in my teenage years but never quite progressed to anything beyond that. I was too afraid to read Revelation- it's more scary than watching The Exorcist in my head. I've read half of Genesis, but always seem to lose interest halfway. This does not bode well for the remaining chapters of the Old Testament. The Psalms are beautiful, but I can only do about 3 at a time.

Why all this God talk? I'm reading this book by Matthew Lickona called "Swimming with Scapulars, True Confessions of a Young Catholic". I think the title should read, "...True Confessions of an Atypical Young Catholic". This is someone whose parents prayed with him almost daily when he was growing up, and attended Thomas Aquinas College and is able to hold a debate about St. Thomas' fourth proof of the existence of God. I, on the other hand, can only claim going to church on Sunday and singing in the choir as my intimate relationship with God.

But we (the author) and I have one thing in common I think. I'm searching for God... and a deeper understanding of a faith/ culture/ religion that has been engraved in me since birth. He too is a cradle Catholic. But I think people look for God in different places... and more than likely find them in different places. I suppose most would start with the bible, but like I said, my eyes are half closed by the time I'm 20 minutes in. I don't suppose God would be offended if I tried another route. Most times, I find myself thinking about the divine when I meet other people who are much better Catholics or people than I am. You know how pregnant women have that glow? Well, I think divine people have it too... Something so ethereal about it, you can't help but want to be a better person at that moment, just because you met that person. And I think that's how I know that there's a God out there.

Cleaning the Office

2005-10-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

I've beeb here 4.5 years, and it's amazing how I started out with a clean desk and nothing on it to... well, all this crap. The office is moving in January and I need to purge. Funny how hard it is to let go of something like... a 4 year old article or a 2 year old thank you card.

2005-10-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

It's bright brilliant sunshine here in SF. Not quite rainy like the Northeast. I'm grateful for the weather. I suppose the downside of mild SF weather is the lack of a hot humid summer. Having grown up in the tropics, I'm a big fan of hot humid summers. What I don't like, which most other people seem to prefer is that dry desert heat that burns through your skin. Yuck.

This weekend

2005-10-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

The housebuying frenzy has died down. I want to buy a place, but the more I think about it, the less affordable it becomes. I don't want to move to San Bruno or Emeryville either. There's something about the city that keeps me here. I mean, who wants to spend all day in the car when you're paying almost 2Gs for mortgage? I don't. Of course if I'm living in SF, I'll have to consider paying 3Gs for mortgage, which really is like buying that uber expensive black Prada purse which no one really needs.- especially since you can buy the knock off for about $45.

Instead of househunting, I went sailing. I can always sail my worries away. I entertained thoughts of buying a boat and living in it. Might not be a bad idea. I mean, you can get a pretty awesome live-aboard for about 100G. The best part about owning a boat, you can always take it on vacation to Hawaii and back!

The winds were howling on Saturday, but it made it all the more spectacular. The bay has these weird microclimates. From Sausalito, you couldn't even make out the city at all because it was shrouded in fog. And yet, the winds were crazy- we had some chop and white caps just around Hurricane Gulch and the entrance of Racoon Straits. I think the San Francisco YC or St Francis YC had to move their races onto the other side of the shipping channel because you couldn't see a thing closer to the SF side. I've always been in awe of some of these racers- I mean, you have to be pretty good at sailing to race right? At least know who has right of way etc. But on Saturday, this one boat nearly ran into us. We had stand on status (right of way) because we were on a starboard tack (always starboard over port). I kept my boat on course and the other boat was supposed to turn away. We missed them by about one boat length, and we yelled to the other boat that we had stand on status and they should know that. The skipper sheepishly said, she had no where else to go. That was totally retarded. They saw us at least 10 boat lengths away and they had time to turn away, but they didn't. I was a little shaken up by the near accident, but at the same time felt a lot better about my sailing understanding. And were I not female myself, I would have said something along the lines of female drivers being stupid.

Frenzy

2005-09-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

I'm in a housebuying frenzy. Not that I have any money to buy a house or anything, but I'm at least going to look. It's like walking into the Gucci store and trying to see if you can at least afford to buy... like a keychain or something.
My gut tells me that I will most likely be priced out of a home if I don't start now. It's a huge risk, but I think a worthwhile one. I don't intend to live in it for long, but I hope that it will at least keep its value so that I can save on rent.
It is quite crazy.
I may be moving to emeryville, because SF is just way out of my price range already.

Sucks, but it's better than being at the mercy of the landlord.

New Semester new look

2005-08-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Hope you like it.

Retiring at 29
My parents have been living with me for the past three weeks. My dad's been retired for a while already, but my mother has recently retired and this extended visit has been on her retirement wishlist for quite a while. This is a huge transition for my parents and especially my mom who has worked for the same company for the last 35 years. Every possible transition dysfunction that could have happened, happened. Although I'd like to think of this as something that is exclusive to my mother (since she's the one retiring), it's been, and still is a transition for everyone in the family. At work, I'm currently helping many parents deal with the transition of their child to college, and I can hear myself in the same role at home. Part of me thinks this is not quite the way to approach it, because I am after all, my mother's daughter. I shouldn't be so detached. But other times it's something concrete to hang on to and helps me through very difficult conversations with my parents.

Their retirment however, has made me think of mine. I'd like to retire. Like now. At 29. Especially if retirement means doing the things you want to do, and enjoying the whole process. I think this is the biggest difference between my parents' generation and mine. It is this sense that work is much more than just work. Much more than just rolling in the dough, fearing layoffs, hoping for a promotion. Sure, I'd love to make 100k a year, I'd love to own a beemer, I'd love to feel all important when my secretary greets me in the morning. I've watched my parents do all that and succeed in their endeavors, I've also watched them do all that and fail. But I just never quite got the sense that while they worked and succeeded, they never quite loved or enjoyed what they were doing.

I want to work, but not the way my folks did, or the way the baby boomer generation did. I'd like to work where part of that work sustains me spiritually and intellectually. I'd like to work so that working means never retiring because I'm really doing what I want to do and doing something that fulfils me. I realize also that my ability to even say or think or want this is the direct result of my parents having perhaps slaved away at the mercy of the corporate world. I am terribly spoilt in that way. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't take advantage of these opportunities as they present themselves.

So here's to retiring at 29... and forever staying retired :)

time for a change

2005-07-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately, about my job, life and career goals. Pretty much taking stock of my life and everything in it. If my apartment's any reflection of these thoughts then it's somewhat of an upheaval. I've cleaned out half my wardrobe- donated about 6 bags of clothes to goodwill, and there's still more to go. All the clothes that were in 2 dressers now sit in one, and by tomorrow night they will be in one of those plastic tubs because the two dressers have to go. The drawers don't work and the the knobs are falling off. All of which means everything is everywhere. The good news is, I get to go furniture shopping. Life is always all better after shopping isn't it?

2005-06-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

These days, I haven't had the urge to blog. Blogging seems like a thing of the past. It's not quite as trendy as it used to be, nor as tempting a hideaway place. Add to that, a year of slacking away and not writing anything read-worthy; what used to be a well oiled writing machine, that could crank out a paper in a week, now has to stop every thirty seconds to think what to say next. Now that's sad.
So here I am again, back in blogosphere, hoping that some amount of blogging will inspire me to write again. I have an article deadline by the end of summer and I can't even get an angle on this article. I've written about 5 paragraphs, no thesis statement and that took about 2 and a half weeks to acomplish. I feel like I lack the research, but then again I've researched this topic for about 6 months and I have a five inch thick binder worth of articles about the topic.
I remember days when I would shut myself in the office and stay til 10pm to write. These days, the minute I see 5:00pm approaching on my computer clock, I start packing and I'm out the door sometimes even before 4:59pm. My brain just shuts down. And I can't wait to get out of the office. I can't tell if I lack the will, the brains to do this anymore. Hopefully it ain't the brains.
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random thoughts

2005-04-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization lately that when I'm stressed, I blog. When I don't want to deal with whatever it is I have to deal with at the moment, I blog. Which of course means, that the last 2-3 I've been hiding out in this blog.
Today, I don't feel like running statistics. My big project on the plate. Stats is normally very very gratifying. Numbers are beautiful. The tediousness of figuring data out to me is like the tender joint aches to the marathoner. Painful but gratifying. Except today, I'd much rather be on craigslist, apartment surfing, furniture shopping and reading random rants and raves.
The daydreamer in me is also thinking about a new couch and new rug. Trying to redecorate my apartment. Out with the old, in with the new. I have a feeling I'll be there for a while and in the last couple of months, I've been hanging out in it a lot more. My favorite spot is the kitchen now. I have my iPod permanently in there so I can sing to Guns and Roses while I do dishes. I've been baking and baking, cooking and cooking. To my mother's surprise, I made an entire meal for Nate and I last Friday. I told her I was home and Nate and I were having dinner. She said, oh, so what did Nate cook for you? When I told her that I made the pork chops with rosemary, thyme and apple chutney, and potatoes, she nearly dropped the phone. Mother dearest, your daughter has some talent in that area. At least I didn't burn the kitchen down :)

29 and 3 days old!

2005-04-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

This is my third day of being 29. Not a bad start to the year.

On day one of being 29, I got kisses from Murray in the morning at home. At work, we had cake at 8:45 am on the day of, followed by champagne at 4pm. After work it was shiatsu massage with best friend K, then a yummy dinner cooked by Nate and THEN a FIVE COURSE DESSERT! How can anyone argue with that?!?

If the rest of the year goes like this, I should be so happy. If the rest of the year goes half like this, I should still be so happy.

Lots of changes from last year, but good changes indeed. If you're in SBC park tonight for the Giants and A's game, come by Section 140 and say hi to the gang and I. 18 friends and mooncake, for the ultimate birthday bash. It is after all, the last of my twenties. I intend to go out with a bang!

2005-03-31T11:02:00.000-08:00

test

2005-03-22T16:50:00.000-08:00

gosh, i haven't blogged in so long- I'm not sure I remember how to do it already. Suffice to say that life has been keeping me busy and somehow the company of the web has become less favorable. When I started blogging, it was to record interesting san francisco dating experiences, then it became an outlet for my frustration in a relationship. Subsequently, the blog went back to recording other dating experiences and day to day happenings.
Rants and raves are always so much more interesting than normal routine life. Somehow, my life has gotten some level of normality and routine that there seems to be no need to highlight the regular everyday events. There is some merit to that. For instance, I'd like to remember what I was like at 28 when I'm 35 or 40. And maybe laugh at myself. I already laugh at the 26/27 y.o me.
But somehow, life just is these days. That's it. It is. It happens. I'm happy. Somedays more than others. I've just settled. And it's nice.

2005-02-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a funeral mass 10 minutes ago. The person who passed away wasn't a personal friend of mine, but I knew of her and I'd sung with her a few times. She had died suddenly a few days ago, and there's something about sudden death that moves me. It suddenly makes you so aware of your mortality and your immortality. What God makes, God can take away whenever he wants. But the memories and legacies remain in the lives of others.
It's been eight months since my friend Tim passed away. And sitting in that church today, again I could feel him there, just as I could the day I learned of his death. And he said, it's ok. Something I find really difficult to expressedly share with other people. Maybe they'll think I'm crazy for still thinking of Tim, or talking to him as if he were here, and knowing that the day I die, I know he will be the first person I will see and what a comfort that knowledge will be.
I have yet to erase his number from my cell phone, nor throw out his business card ; it still sits in my rolodex. And in my deepest darkest moments, I've often found myself wondering, what would Tim do or say in this moment, were he here with me. And it is in these moments, that I realize that the mortality of one human life is always superceded by the immortality of their memories and their effect on others.