Mother Henna

Art Every Day Month, Nov 10...it continues...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:59:00 +0000

for art every day month

Nothing for words.
Nothing for what I intended this month.
I look at 2010 calendar and see.... nothing.
I know I want new banner, buttons, icons and see...nothing.
Catalog to be updated. New workshops to add. Need descriptions...nothing.
Wow. Slump on the words & vision side of things.
But the art continues.

miracles,
k-

Art Every Day Month, Nov 8 & 9: full shots of paintings plus more sketches

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:57:00 +0000

for Art Every Day Month
click any image to see larger size

Spiky heads prevailed...

More Kabuki sketches...

I think the one below was in the blog previously, but just as unfinished sketch.
Decided to finish and watercolor wash her.

Hawk got full shots of the Kabuki paintings for me, too, this weekend.
You can click to see them a bit bigger... what do you all think?
Like the sliver of panel of them I scanned better?
Or do you like the full context of the whole canvas?

You can finally see how I'm using my hand-carved stamp to make signature hand for each of the Kabuki canvas pieces. It's been an interesting experiment to make myself include it in each piece. We'll see if that keeps up! :)

miracles!
k-

Art Every Day Month, for Nov 7th: Faces and an A-ha!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 08:53:00 +0000

Art Every Day Month, for Nov 7th:
Faces and an A-ha!

While scanning my sketchbook drawings tonight in prep for sharing as entries for Art Every Day Month, I had a huge A-ha!

Some of you know I've been working toward 1,000 Faces since 2007. At the beginning of 2009, I was very close to having them all. About half of them were physical art, half were digital art. Then my computer and back up fried with virus. And I lost 498 of the digital piece entirely. I was disheartened and somewhat put off on the digital side of things. But with the help of Wreck This Journal and The Next Chapter bloggers bookclub, I dove into the physical side with a vengeance.

Now whenever I do a digital piece and save -- or a physical piece and scan -- I always number the face pieces because I'm tracking for this project. Well tonight, scanning for AEDM, this piece you see to the left was number 983. I'm back to the number I was at before losing everything!

I know, numbers aren't everything. It's more about the process. And honestly, in the trek since the losses, I've had several epiphany moments when I realized that getting to the number 1,000 would just be the FIRST 1,000. There are another thousand. And another thousand after that. And after that. Until the day I drop dead, I hope! [Note to self: put in living will that if incapacitated to the point of not being able to make any art in any form, then have them pull the plug!!]
Anyway, the even bigger A-ha is that I think with making art every day this month for our AEDM celebration here -- well, I think I'm going to hit my 1,000 mark with you all!!! Leah, can't tell you how perfect that seems to me as you were one of the first heARTists I met online blogging -- and your Moon Under Water has hung next to my desk, inspiring me all this time! What a cool bit of synchronicity to come into the first 1,000 in the midst of AEDM!
+++
Okay, so today's sharings:

The top most left, full color piece - this is actually just a partial of a full canvas. As I mentioned in a previous post, my scanner is too small to capture the whole thing. I'll get Hawk to photo the full canvases this weekend maybe. In the meantime, this partial is the latest in the Kabuki series and my first attempt at the more feminine, ghost character. I was uncertain as I layered the canvas how much I would end up liking the colors, textures, patterns. And when I drew her, I didn't like the way her arms are at all... but what you can't see is angled of the far left of this sliver scan, is a disembodied hand -- the same hand I've used to signature the other Kabuki color paintings I posted yesterday. Somehow, that addition really pulled the canvas together for me. Anyway, will show you that in full as soon as Hawk snags pics for me!

Then the two centered b&w line drawing pages above - these are just scans out of my sketchbook as I play with integrating the idea of Kabuki with my GRRRLS series themes -- and beginning to look at the Kabuki Ghost character in particular. I may take these into digital canvas and paint? Or maybe do print, acrylic transfer, and paint on canvas or wood? Or they may end up just being reference for totally different canvas piece I do from scratch? I don't know yet.

Then this one:
This piece is actually one I did a couple months ago when we were making our "This Is Not A Review" film about Keri Smith's This Is Not A Book piece. I was drawing up different masked faces that were looking up -- aim was to use them as title shots for the "This has been a MotherHenna.com production" blurb. But I just never got them scanned. I'll share a few more this month along the way. I seem to be over the obsession with the masks at the moment. Can't help but wonder if that was just a Halloween bug that got me back in September and played out till just before Halloween when I caught the Kabuki bug. ?? Maybe. But again, who knows? I may return to masks later. Maybe a series of the Kabuki Ghost in mask as she tries to cross worlds!? Hmmmmmm....

+++
So that's today's AEDM shares! Many thanks to all of you who have been stopping by to visit. I'm doing my best to surf around and answer your comments on your blogs, but I have also been posting some responses here in context of comments here. Whatever the case, just wanted to say thank you and this is so much fun to be making art every single day with all of you!!

A freebie for you as thank you:
Saw one visitor was just getting interested in henna art. Maybe there are others of you out there? We have a free eBook on the MotherHenna.com website, an anthology of articles about "All Things Henna" -- click over and snag it if you like:

http://www.motherhenna.com/freebies.htm

It's about half way down the page under the header "eBooks from..." & you can right mouse click (or if on a MAC ctrl + click) to download/save copy to your local computer.

Happy Art Making to y'all!
Miracles!
k-

Quick Day of the Dead Artists Collaboration Update!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:20:00 +0000

Quick update for Day of the Dead artists collaboration:

Boxes were mailed out November 4th!

Unfortunately, it looks like the post has entirely lost Pam's cards, so her piece isn't in the boxes afterall. Total bummer. Pam, I kept your box -- if the cards show up here in a week or two, then at least I can mail them back to you. If they show up on your end, let me know. I'd like to snag at least one for the exhibit next year!

Nancy, I need your mailing addy -- em me!

Lynndee & Shelley, can I meet up with y'all next week to hand off in person?

If you haven't gotten your eBook yet, snag the free eBook of all Hawk's photos of your art + artist bios/statements:

Click here! (you can right mouse click OR if on a MAC ctrl + click to "Save As" or "Save Link As" so you get your own copy on your computer!)

Note: eBook is almost 20MB big even though I've extremely compressed it.
Did not want to compress more because I wanted you all to see the detail as much as possible.
Be patient with download as it is worth the wait!

Thanks everyone!
miracles,
k-

More Kabuki... art every day month

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:24:00 +0000

These are my two for days 5 and 6 of Art Every Day Month ... though I have to be honest: 1) these are only small segments of larger canvases, but they are too big for my scanner. I'll get Hawk to photo eventually. And 2) these were actually started a week ago...they are my art for days 5 and 6 because I just managed to finish and scan them on these days.
I have done some other sketches these couple days -- and will probably do a few more today -- for my whole stupa offering to O-Iwa-San. But I don't feel like scanning those to share just yet. Will do an entry one of the days this month to share the concept to creation of it maybe... Thinking probably for most of this month, I'll be doing stuff one day and then scanning/sharing another day. Can't seem to do it all in one day :) Oh well, guess whatever ways we play are just the ways that we play for AEDM!

How are you all coming along with your heART playing for AEDM?

Miracles,
k-

Joy Diet: Play...I've forgotten how...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:23:00 +0000

The Joy Diet: Play
for the next chapter bloggers bookclub

Well, this week sucked.

The writing on the little watercolor left says, "She went down to get water & lost herself on the way."

This whole week has been lost in that feeling. So I laughed out-freaking-loud when I got to Martha's bit in this chapter about "Flow like water."

I have so NOT been flowing like water. I've been rigid and annoyed and downright depressed. Sick to death already of the limited amount of light each day. The cold is getting to me already. My friend Meko came to visit from Hawaii and I cannot tell you how much it took to not jump in his boot and kick along back for the duration.

At one point, Hawk pointed out all the fun heART I've got around the house these days, how creative I've been, how many paintings and drawings and new ideas seem to be bubbling. You know what my response was? "Who gives a shit when none of this makes the ends meet STILL and in fact, at this point, even doing the shit work we hate isn't paying the bills either!?"

Wow. That is pretty far from water flowing. Poor Hawk. He was being pelted with my hail the size of golf balls!

+++

What to do? Go back to the beginning.

DO NOTHING.

Could not find the Zen place to do it the way Martha sets us out to do it. Instead I slept. And slept and slept. Well, not really. I slept at odd hours. I woke and did whatever I was doing at odd hours. Just sort of out of sync with the world.

I chatted with a friend who pointed out that this, too, is part of it. She reflected for me that she could see I was clearly on my path. Did I feel I was on my path? Well, yes. I am. I know I am. Well, she asked, "Then what would be point of getting off the path at this point? Just stay on it."

Guess the frustration is akin to this:

You know when you hear a piece of music that is clearly the Higher Power coming through that singer? You KNOW they are meant to sing.

Well, lately, I don't feel anything is clearly coming through anything I'm doing. I don't KNOW at all what I am meant to be doing. Being a bump on a log if you look at my week this week! I mean I know I am on the path of something, but I don't KNOW anything. Maybe that's the point.

+++

It was interesting to see Martha's prompt asking what you did on the infamous September 11th. I had to laugh. I know that seems wrong. But seriously, on September 11th we were homeless in our car, it was our first day on this island, where we landed to house sit for a friend while we tried to figure out how to NOT be homeless anymore. What did I do that day?

Sat with friends. Wrote. Doodled while the police at the ferry dock searched our car because my Hawk looks like he looks. Got pissed off. Wondered at everyone else's wonder about death. I mean, I'm sorry, but I had been living with the bomb that went off in my womb two years prior that killed my son. So I was walking around thinking, "Hm? Finally the world around me is getting a fucking clue about the reality of death, dying, grief." And while the "world" thinks I'm a freak for honoring my dead kid's birthday each year -- coz you know, I should be over it, and if you keep on like this you are "complicated grief" case, and all the bullshit. THAT SAME WORLD does huge memorial events every year on September 11th. And that is perfectly fine. Need. Important.

And it is. Of course. The people who had loved ones die on Sept 11th are the same as me. I am them. They are me. Of course.

But reading Martha's prompt about the Sept 11th question being a short cut to finding what you are meant to do... well, okay. Does that mean I am called to rant and rave against injustice then? Maybe.

+++

Whatever the case, this week has just been one big stirring of the wasps' nest.

I feel disturbed. Riled up. Edgy.

I went down to get water & lost myself on the way.

So what the hell am I supposed to do to find my way to play?!

+++

Wish I had some clean lovely round up to this post.
I really don't.

Best I can do is put some music in my earbuds and let it wash over me.

Set up my blanket house and turn on the twinkly red and white christmas lights. A safe nest for play, a harbinger of how I will make it through the rain, cold, wind this winter.

Make heART. Even just allow my sucky art to just flow through!

Really touch base, hear the holy bells, get in touch with the present moment and figure out what the hell would be PLAY-FULL right now? :)

How about you all? Have you touched into your playful self?

miracles,
k-

*8 Saints & Sinners who have influenced me the most...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:42:00 +0000

Magpie Girl is hosting a Saints & Sinners creative prompt today for her *8 Things series! She wants to know who you would put in a shrine of *8 people who have influenced you?

Me? Easy.

1. Dakota Jones. Though I would have liked to know how his full, long life would have influenced me, I am in awe of how much his short life and sudden death have influenced me.

2. Frida. Passion, courage, a life lived in heART no matter what. Her stillborn son. I get it.

3. Anais Nin. The Journals. The films, especially the weird and wacky art films, like the one where she's wearing the bird cage over her head. And her sense of heART in every moment. Also a stillborn child, or possibly aborted, depending on how you interpret the journals. But whatever the cause, she wrote with a bereaved woman's heart in the journals entries about her experience.

4. Venus of Willendorf. Finally. A Goddess who looks like me. Well, I guess that should be, finally a Goddess I look like. :) But you know what I mean.

5. Jizo-Sama. My reminder that we all are travelers. I imagine, not only all the children who have physically died, but also all the lost and wounded inner children of us living adults encompassed within the fold of his robes.

6. Billie Holiday. That she sang *through* so much pain. That she shared her heART for as long as she drew breath.

7. Charlie Bird Parker. When I learned in the Ken Burns' series "Jazz" that Bird endured the death of a child among all the other experiences of his life...well, his music and addictions made complete sense to me then. I understand the context of his heART now.

8. Huntress. I know. She's a comic book character. But the mythology of her story is part of my being. From first versions back in the day to grunge Seattle version where she hooked up with Canary in the Cap Hill florist shop, even to the bad TV version. I get her anger, her vengeance, her remorse, her impatience in this impatient world. I strive for patience, but I GET her impatience.

How about you? Who are the Saints & Sinners on your shrine?

Miracles,
k-

One Minute Meditation... full moon Day of the Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:43:00 +0000

Look up for once in your life! Boo!

Miracles,
k-

Kabuki more + This Is Not A Hat GRRRL...Art Every Day Month: Nov 5

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:04:00 +0000

Not much to say today.
Below is inside back cover of my Art House Coop sketchbook.

Below is the Kabuki of Questioning.

Below is Our Lady of This Is NOT A Hat.

miracles.
k-

Art Every Day Month: days 3 and 4...more on kabuki ghosts

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Another entry for
ART EVERY DAY MONTH
days 3 & 4

The Kabuki obsession continues here, and thanks to Kimberly Anne's comment on my last post (THANK YOU MUCH KIMBERLY!!!), I'm also finally on the trail of O-Iwa-San, the Kabuki Ghost that seems to have visited my musings recently.

First up today, the image left -- click image to see it larger size -- is the inside, front cover of my Art House Coop sketchbook. I had been hesitant to do the inside covers of the front and back covers of the sketchbook. Mostly it was because they aren't blank pages. This front cover has the card holder and card for the library card. The card you see there now is the card with direction for me as participant on it. But I imagine after I send it in for the exhibit and library collection, a card will go in there for indexing. So anyway, I wanted to do something around it or over it or incorporating it. So anyway, this is what I came up with. I'll have the back cover one to show you later.

And then I had been sketching, just b&w line drawings of the Kabuki faces, with that tilt and somewhat look that I seem to be carrying over from my GRRRRLS series. Decided I wanted to watercolor a few of them. Though I know red is a prominent color for Kabuki, I have also seen other colors on the actors. So I started researching a bit about the colors. Found this great story about Kabuki Make-up. About half way down the page, you'll find a table with information about colors, shades, meanings, and you'll see there that the light blue color is for coolness or calm. So this is what came from my musings on that idea:

Now, as to O-Iwa-San's ghost mythology. I'm finding lots more images now, and with her name and the name of the play Yotsuya Kaidan, it is easier to find information about the play, versions of it from centuries past all the way thru the modern day horror film, complete with special effects! Interestingly, the thing that caught me most about her, that fact that she carried her ghost baby with her, seems to be barely touched upon in most versions, especially the modern.

I did come across a CNN travel article about the two shrines and O-Iwa-San's gravesite saying that when productions of her story are done, the actors and director go there to make offerings, to ask for her blessing. At the gravesite, it is said that there is a sign saying O-Iwa_San will grant blessings to anyone who leaves a wooden stupa tablet made for her. And reading this made me think maybe I would look up what a wooden or paper or drawing of stupa might look like for her, you know, to make one dedicated to asking for her blessing as I explore her story in my art. And then I found a most interesting thing!

In researching what a stupa is, I discovered that it can be as simple as wooden tablet with characters written on it, but also can be as complex as an entire temple building. Even pagodas or cairns are a version of the stupa form. And then in one of the stupa sites, I found an illustration that gave great detail about the levels and elements of the temples you see in Buddhist tradition. The bottom three levels are made up of a square, circle, and triangle. When I was pregnant with Dakota, I dreamed of those shapes in a pile configuration, and I was told it was a Kota Lion. There have been many versions of it, but this is the one Hawk worked up 3D style for the KotaPress site:
Maybe I'm just making meaning of everything. But, heck, isn't that what an artist does? Make meaning of the muses that cross our consciousness!? Something about having Kota's symbol be the base of stupa form. Something about being told it was called a Kota Lion and then the Lion character is prominent in Kabuki plays. Something about O-Iwa-San's images of her with her baby ghost. Something about the Jizo temples and gardens where the baby ghosts can be seen peeking out of the folds of his robes. It was Jizo who sent me on the path of 1,000 Faces project. And when I lost half of them with the zapping of my computer in Spring, I hit upon the fact that I would just do another 1,000. And then reading that many quest to make 1,000 stupa structures as a way to enlightenment. Something about how I've been dreaming in a myth format since summer - see Magic Pea Myth I posted in August.

???

All of it feels like a pointer, indications for where this new series of pieces is going. I want to make a stupa offering to O-Iwa-San to ask for her blessing to write a new version of her myth. My version is something about the baby being ghost of a stillborn. The ghost mother being the part of the mother who also dies when her baby is stillborn. The ghost mother taking a quest to find Jizo who can protect and lead her baby the rest of the way into the afterworld. The ghost mother can't take the baby the whole way because the ghost part of the mother is only part of her -- there is another part of the woman who is still alive in the physical world, trying to figure out how to live again after her child's death.

I want to write the story in detail and do illustration for the story, too.
But I somehow feel that this all came from the glimpse I got of O-Iwa-San in my dream or snippet on the radio when I was waking the other day -- I can't say exactly where that first glimpse came from exactly. Anyway, since I feel it came from her -- and since a stupa offering is asked for to gain her blessing -- well, I guess that will be next in my series. Along with continuing to explore Kabuki and O-Iwa-San imagery in general.

We'll see what unfolds!
Miracles...
k-

I Suck Scratchpad...Art Every Day Month celebration

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:48:00 +0000

So in celebration of Art Every Day Month, I started by posting my latest Kabuki obsession yesterday. When I mentioned the challenge of Art Every Day, I heard back from a few with comments about how they couldn't imagine doing it, they just are not very creative, and how I am so talented to be doing this. So in the spirit of BREAKING MYTHS, I'm posting this entry for the second day of Art Every Day Month.

My aim here is to show you how very stinkin' much I SUCK TOO! And how, if you are willing to suck a LOT, then sucking can lead to not sucking so badly. But you have to be willing to totally SUCK-FEST first.

So the art you see in this post is sort of scratch pad suckingness from my journal. A few days ago, I had a dream or heard a snippet on the radio or something, about "Kabuki Ghosts," and when I woke, I began sketching the kind of Kabuki we all know very well. The theater guys. Red accents over powder white, flowing kimono, hands at odd angles. And the sketches turned into a couple of paintings.

But when I decided to do one of them with Blue color on the face instead of Red, I thought maybe I should GET A CLUE and actually research what the colors meant. In my research, I came to discover that the Kabuki GHOST is actually a completely different character than those I had been working with in my recent art. Kabuki Ghost is usually a woman, sometimes carrying a baby ghost with her. She has the paper white skin, too, but one eye is usually deformed, maybe falling out of her head. She has impossibly long, dark hair, sometimes falling out in tufts.

Well then.
So while I am continuing with my main Kabuki obsession, the GHOST is gnawing at my ankles. I try desperately to ignore her and NO! She will not give up. So I begin more research. I've found lots of images and these characteristic descriptions of the Kabuki Ghost, but NO CONTEXT. I don't know the context of her myth at all. Why the ghost baby? Is it her child? Did she kill herself after the baby died? Or is she a mystical creature that is blamed for stealing the child when it dies? WHAT?!!!

In the process of having no luck at all with context, I begin scratchpad sketching after finding maybe 1/2 a dozen different illustration styles of this Ghost. And would you look at these scratchpad pages?! THEY TOTALLY SUCK!!
And they look like horrid horrid copy cats of the illustrations I found. And I can't get the perspective of adult ghost to baby ghost right. And I start writing notes to myself on the page like, "SHIT!" And I throw my pen on the ground and generally complain to Hawk that I suck. And I keep going.
Eventually I do stumble upon an idea. Something that has elements of the Ghost, but also has my own sort of GRRRRLS twist to it. I move from the scratchpad to canvas, paint, ink, and all that jazz. I'm still working on that piece. I may share it later this month when it is done. If it turns out in a way that speaks what I need it to speak.

AND I know that piece is the first of many probably. AND the scratchpad sucking will continue around here for a while. I will keep looking at illustrations and researching for her myth -- if any of you know anything about Kabuki Ghost, PLEASE comment on this entry or email me via the MotherHenna.com website!!! Eventually, I'll come up with some version of her with baby hopefully, that will truly have my mark of GRRRRRL style and be true to the mythological elements.

Who knows?

Point is: If I don't keep sucking, I'll never get to anything! But if I do keep sucking, if I'm willing to lean into the suckingness, then the possibility remains that I might come up with something that doesn't suck.

So for everyone who thinks I'm sooooooooooo talented and for all those who think you cannot do Art Every Day because you aren't creative and for those who are doing it, but don't feel "good enough" (whatever that is), I say let's all go forth and SUCK-FEST together. Because really, in the end, we are all going to end up having AN EXPERIENCE of creativity. And that's the point. The Experience of Creativity. The end product, if it ends up being something you like, is just a bonus.

So lots of miracles to you for lovely lovely SUCKINGNESS!
Get inspired and then go make art! That's what it's all about...
k-

It's Art Every Day Month already!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:34:00 +0000

Click image to see full size...

Wow, y'all, November came fast this year! It's time again for Leah's Art Every Day Month challenge...click here to read all about it. And I've decided to jump on board again, though I admit Leah inspires me, not just in this one month of the year, but *all year long* with her Creative Every Day challenge and blog anyway. That said, I'm in the middle of a little series where Kabuki is tweaking my sparkles, so think I'll explore that with y'all for AEDM!

My first for today is a digital piece made up of a photograph Hawk took of my last night when I was dressed up as Kabuki character for Halloween. So we tweaked the photo to be more sketch like. Then I took scans of a few of my recent paintings, particularly grabbing the layered backgrounds of them. Then tweaked those with filter, blur, color. Did a second and third layer of the photo image to try and outline and drop shadow. And wa-la!

So, I don't know. It's sort of a self-portrait in the style of the GRRRRLS paintings I've been doing since spring, mixed with my latest Kabuki obsession. :)

Look for more EVERY DAY this month ... well, as many days as I can pull together posts anyway. But here's to BEING creative everyday regardless of whether we post online or not!

Miracles to you!
k-

Welcome to Day of the Dead Blog Fest!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:43:00 +0000

Mother Henna welcomes you to our 2009 Day of the Dead Blog Fest!

At the bottom of this entry, you'll find a Mister Linky to add your own perma-link to your own blog entry for Day of the Dead. Come Fest with us!
Click on any photo to see it full size...
This year, we hosted an Artist Collaboration celebrating Day of the Dead!
My apologies to all the artists for not getting art physically to you in time for the holiday. The post office is taking forever to deliver the last package. I did not want to drop this artist because she mailed it in plenty of time. It is not her fault the post is slow. So boxes will come as soon as I get her art. And you will find the pieces are timeless -- you'll want them for your ofrenda for many years to come, I promise! In the meantime, our FESTIVAL today is comprised of photos Hawk took for us.
ANNOUNCE!!! PDF eBooklet of all Hawk's photos + artist bios/statements now available
Click here!
Note: eBook is almost 20MB big even though I've extremely compressed it.
Did not want to compress more because I wanted you all to see the detail as much as possible.
Be patient with download as it is worth the wait!

First up: Lynndee Lebeau
Light your candles, set your ofrenda, gather your flowers and mementos.
Time for remembering. The veil is thinning!

Next up: Jane Valencia
Hear the music of the souls returning, of our hearts calling to love ones who are physically gone, but never forgotten. Grief cannot take away our love!

Next up: Jess Remember Iris
Say their names. Names written and honored. Let the love of them dance across your tongue as you speak your heart to them!

Next up: Nancy Grayson, Joel's Mom
Look around in the world and see where you can create love.
Do random kindness in their honor!

Next up: Shelley Hanna
Let your tender heart love and love and love.
Let your being create tangible pieces of heART showing your love!

Next up: Angie at StillLife With Circles
Paint the dance of the skeleton, let your love fly on the wings of the sacred butterflies!

Another from Angie at StillLife With Circles
Make your offerings to the Virgin, Frida, any Goddess who speaks to you!

Next up: Amber at RecycledRealities.blogspot.com
Let All Soul's Day be honored and celebrated.

Next up: Amy at Surviving The Day
Let the colors of fall, the saturation of love permeate through the layers of grief.
Be present to the moments of life and death that define us!

Next up: Christine & Abby Grothe
Let your body lean into the love you have for a dearly missed daughter, sister.

Next up: Ninnie at NinniesPlace.blogspot.com
Open your ideas and traditions to consider the celebration of the skeletons.
Let their beings glitter through the dark!

Next up: Brandy at ArtBrat.blogspot.com
See the extraordinary detail and design of love's universe!

Next up: Beverley Baird of BunnysGirl.blogspot.com
See the love of every colorful skull!

Next up: A joint effort from BluebirdSinging & MayasDaddy
See the sprouting seeds of honor, remembrance, light in the dark, love in the face of death.

Next up: Yesh from over at ATCsforAll Gallery
Let the waves of this holiday wash over you, feel the welcoming of the spirits!

Next up: Ines at MyButterflyChild.blogspot.com
See the spirits even in the driftwood that washes ashore.
We are part and particle of everything that is, was, and will be!

Close up of pieces from Ines at MyButterflyChild.blogspot.com
Each piece of this driftwood was hand picked and painted.
Ines is remembering as part of her own process and remembering with all of us, too.
What do you do this season to honor and remember,
your loved ones and the universal experience of grief and love?

Next up: Sooze
How do we wrap up our love and remember everyday?
Sooze made these pocket ofrendas from all recycled and found materials!
Each one is beautifully unique. Just as the grief path is unique to each of us.
See close ups below:

Next up: Kara L.C. Jones
And finally, indulge in the sugar skull experience!See the tradition and add your own new experiences to make the holiday meaningful.
Love the way you love. Grieve the way you grieve.
There is no prescription to this experience!The sugar skulls are made with a tradition recipe and using traditional moulds
from Mexican Sugar Skulls,
but I've added my own love and experience by decorating them with henna
instead of icing. They are not edible, but they are beautiful and show the love I have for my son, grandmother, unkie, for all your children, too. And when the holiday is over, they melt in the rain, return to the earth simply and easily.

And finally: Hawk Jones of Kotagraph.com
We are remembering all those you are remembering this weekend, too.
For me, Jizo means light in the face of darkness.
He is the Bodhisattva who watches over travelers and children who have died, particularly babies who are aborted, miscarried, stillborn, or die as infants. May you see the bright soul of your child in the folds of his robes this weekend when the veil between the worlds is so thin.

YOU ARE INVITED!!
The Mister Linky below is for you!
Please do a Day of the Dead post on your blog, and then add your permalink below to join the festival!

Miracles to all of you!
k-

Treats on the Joy Diet for Next Chapter book club!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:48:00 +0000

Treats on the Joy Diet
for The Next Chapter Bloggers Bookclub

What fun! And how timely to have the week of Treats come at trick or treat time, too! My favorite quote from Martha's chapter on Treats:

"Listen to your inner swine."

WOO-HOO!

It was pretty easy for me to do the "things I love" lists and the virtues. And easy to see how practicing the opposite of my virtues could actually give me some juicy energy. For instance, one of the things I listed was that people tell me I'm good at BEING with the grief experience. And I am. I know that. BUT if I spend every single minute of every single day exclusively with grief, then I'm like Eyeore on steroids. It's not pretty.

Whereas if I practice not being with grief 100% of the time, but instead allow myself to layer my life with appreciation and joy and laughter and tender moments, then I feel energized and emotionally available for the dark emotions, too. I can BE with them. My own dark emotions and the dark emotions of others.

Over on Facebook today, Carol McCloud shared this quote:

Everything has a shadow. Night is the shadow of day. Winter is the shadow of summer. Sickness is the shadow of health. Old age, the shadow of youth, and death is the shadow of life. A world without shadows would appear very flat and lifeless, indeed. If it were not for the shadows we could not appreciate the light. It is the contrast that illuminates.
~ Donna Henes

THAT is where the heART of my truth is around the virtue of being good at BEing with grief.

+++

But so then, I read Martha's prompt to make a list of all the instances of your life where your whole body smiles. Again, it wasn't difficult for me to make this list, but it sure was surprising. Surprising because all the places where my body smiles from the inside out -- those are also safe and sacred spaces -- spaces that make me emotional and open to tears as well as smiles. Not tears of, "oh i'm so depressed i can't do those things," but the tears of sheer awe and LOVE of being in those spaces. And even just writing about those spaces was such a visceral experience for me that I was grinning and weeping to the page!

And guess what, I have PERMISSION to feel all that and BE in my body with that ANY TIME AND ALL THE TIME! Joy. [Sharing my Zelda Gives You Permission image with you here in the post, too, in case any of you need a Permission Partner as Martha talked about :)]

Anyway, so I thought for the heART of this post, I'd like to share my list of instances where my whole body smiles. Join me!

Museums
Standing in front of Seurat's "Sunday Afternoon..." painting in the Chicago Museum. Not only do I smile from my toes, from the belly of my heart, from the fire of my sex, but I weep, too. We've all seen prints or jpgs of that image. We've seen it in Ferris Bueller. But to stand in front of it. To have HOURS to study it. My God. The man, the hands, the heARTist behind that piece still lives there. You can FEEL him. I can also feel the grief of his early death, and the grief of his wife who gave birth to their second child shortly after Seurat's death, only to have the child stillborn. My. God. I could live there in that room in the Chicago Museum -- if only the guards didn't kick me out at closing time every time I go there!

Pretty much any museum can do this kind of thing to me.

Libraries
Big, huge libraries. Stacks to large you get lost. Nooks & crannies everywhere. Sunlight streaming from the oddest angles. Or only sparse, diffuse daylight, in small patches coming thru glass brick floors several stories up. The smell of books. My whole body smiles. And often I sink into one of those chairs the big libraries have, with some randomly found treasure, and I weep. Again, I would live there if the librarians didn't always kick me out at closing!

Time Alone With a Million People Around Me
I cannot tell you the value - it is un-price-able! I cannot tell you what this experience means to me because words don't say it right. But to sit in a cafe alone! Reading, writing, making art. Letting millions of people bustle around me, energy washing to and fro. I am not exactly invisible, but not quite visible either. My whole being wakes up with this particular treat!

HOURS in Art Supply, Bead, or Comic Book Shop
I do not need to buy anything, but I need HOURS. I looooooooove to browse, slllloooowwwwly, reading each and every item that catches my eye, just as if I were browsing books in the library. And you know how I feel about the library. Same thing here! Though I don't think I'd want to live in these shops. But time to really take in everything there. If you take me to Pike Market and lose me, just come to the comic book shop downstairs. I'll be there!

Browsing My Own Art Supplies
Come to think of it, I love browsing my own art supplies. Having hours to make art in the wee small of the night, sipping tea with dreams, and making heART. Having the time, space, and set up for my supplies such that they are all visible. Slowly browsing, finding bits and pieces, a color of paint I entirely forgot I had! Joy! Pure Love Joy and whole body smiling!

Reconnecting with Hawk
This is soooo important to me. After time away from each other -- or even if we've been working all day in the same studio space, we are working on separate things -- so reconnecting is where I come back out of my zone, my head and SMILE with the hug of a whole body! To make dinner together, to share a meal, to go out on a date, to share an experience together. I LOVE connecting with him. Grin from my toes. And weep with awe at love.

Doing Dishes to Madonna Tunes
Yes. Seriously. My whole body smiles when I can clean the kitchen while cranking Madonna tunes -- either blasting through the whole house or from my earbuds on the iPod. I sing (badly) as if I were in the shower or on stage at the Carnegie, but really I'm loading the dishwasher and washing down counter tops. A kitchen without Madonna it just plain sad and crabby. But with her. Happy, happy, joy, joy... and sometimes her tunes do bring me to tears.

Coloring My Hair
Being in the world with henna'd hair or purple or pink or blue head. I looooooooooove the grape smell of the punk color purple. And I know, maybe it seems weird to have such a surface thing listed here, but something happens when I color my hair. It permeates my whole body. I begin to walk in that color. Hard to explain, but when my being calls out for a particular color, and I follow through to tint my head, well, then the color channels thru my smiling body. If that makes any sense at all!

Standing At The Edge of a Large Body of Water
Feeling the wind, hearing the surf, smelling the air, Oh. My. Gawd. My body begins to fully breathe again!! Mix that with a picnic of wild strawberries and triple bergamot iced tea, and we are absolutely in heaven on earth! Even just riding in a bus that is driving past a large body of water -- it doesn't take much and I turn on from head to toe in this space!!

The Olympic Peninsula
This one is probably the one that is most difficult for me to grant myself, but I know my whole self wakes up in this space. There is a particular route and trip around the Olympic Peninsula that makes me smile, that is the ultimate treat, that I would consider doing as a way of life if I were a nomad. You head to Southworth and make your way to Port Townsend. Spend a bit of time there. Head to Hurricane Ridge in Port Angeles. Spend a bit of time there. Go on to the Sol Duc Hot Springs. HANG OUT there for a bit. Go on to LaPush -- and I'm NOT talking about the Twilight bus tour! -- I mean really go to LaPush. Hike the beaches. Go over to where the mouth of the river feeds into the ocean. Bundle up, make a fire, and watch the stars. Our son was conceived there - okay, I know, too much information. But his life and death are wrapped up in the sacred ground of LaPush. I love it there. And make your way to Neah Bay, to the rain forest, spend time, walk, listen, be. I am never more IN MY BEING than when doing that trip. And can I just tell you that I haven't done that trip since our son died 10 years ago. My gawd. Has it really been that long?

... hmmm ...

Well, that's it.
Body smiles and soul weeps. It's all mixed up together. Being emotionally available for whole body smiling is good practice for being emotionally available for the tears, too, and vice versa.

Happy Treating to you all!
Reiki and PERMISSION to you!
k-

Values values values

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:44:00 +0000

Values values, everywhere, values...
a pondering of meaning?

For some reason the topic of values keeps popping up on my radar the last few days. Defining your values. Exploring your values. Staying in alignment with your values. Living with ease because you honor your values.

You would think, especially as a coach myself, that the topic would be pretty cut and dry with me, I'd have it down cold, and any number of other platitudes you can dream of at the moment.

But that's not really the case. I know it is very politically correct and success-minded to claim I am clear on my values and living in abundant alignment with my highest self and all that. While I suppose my aim is clarity and alignment, I cannot tell you with honesty that I'm all good and solid with this topic, Know It, Am It, now thrown down your dollars to coach with me because I can give you solid values, too. It's just b.s. to claim that kind of thing.

Really, getting conscious of your values is as unique to each of us as is finding our way through grief. Of course as a coach and caregiver, my hope is to share ideas that worked for me and others as a way of opening up as many options as possible, to crack open the limitations so you see huge vistas of possibility. I can share ideas and witness your discoveries, but there is no way that the work I've done on myself is going to be a prescription to fix all your ills. There is no prescription, no one single way to live life, to find your way from the moment of trauma back into the world at large.

We are all finding our way, making mistakes, pushing the edges, coming to terms. It's okay.

+++

So when the values topic hits my radar, and I start to feel a vague panic inside, "Oh my gawd, I am unclear, I have no values, I have to find a guru to show me the way, I better buy this book, or hire this coach so I can get fixed..." well, I take it as a sign. A big red flag that says I need to come back to my own stuff. I need to let the marketing by guilt wash over me, and find a space where I can make the resolution to love myself exactly as I am, in exactly this moment, with things exactly as they are. Once I can get present, then I can truly gauge what, if anything, I need. Help? Support? A nap? A decent meal? Connection with friends? Some art-making time alone?

+++

In living this kind of practice, I begin to distill what my values are. I value curiosity and awareness. I value beauty and living at a slower pace than most. I get clear on these things when I feel my whole body and mind and being in a place of ease or engagement or bliss, and stay present to see what circumstances bring that on for me. But looking at a long list of supposed universal values doesn't do much for me except to cause panic. I read the lists and think, "Oh to be good, I should claim I am this and this, but oh gawd I am none of those things, so now I am lying, and oh that's bad, and guilt guilt and shame on you." Etcetera Etcetera Etcetera.

So in a funny way, the feeling of looking at those lists of values told me how much I do not value lists and prescriptions! And it told me that I value helping people feel what they feel when they feel it. And if they don't like what they feel, to help them be present to it, and ask themselves what would be of help or service in the moment. Whatever path they take is theirs entirely. When they find their way back to feeling engaged or full of love or just some glimmer of hope, then I am honored to witness them defining "values" for themselves.

+++

Look, feeling bad, encountering grief, having rage pour through you, all these things are human experiences. Period. Not bad, not to be judged. There is no need to pick up guilt in addition to grief's already heavy burden. There is nothing "wrong" and you are not out of alignment with your highest "good" by feeling whatever you feel. But if you are feeling bad or encountering grief or feeling rage and you get present with yourself in that moment, well, then you have the opportunity to befriend these dark emotions, as Miriam Greenspan would say. You feel what you feel when you feel it, and then you can decide what feels best for tending to yourself. In tending to yourself, you find a path way out of the dark emotions, and you will seem to naturally come back to whatever you value... beauty, peace, quiet, love. Grief cannot take away our love!

I don't mean to say that "naturally coming back" or "feeling ease-FULL" is always easy. I know grief can make things seem very hard, very burdensome. But if we can befriend ourselves in the most burdensome moments, there is a glimmer of hope for finding the breadcrumbs to follow on the way back to our heART.

Just try it. Lose the list of values. Take the time to befriend the you who exists right now, exactly as you are. Tend to you. Be gentle with you. See what happens. See if your being present gravitates you toward your values naturally.

[Addendum: Just to be super clear, dark moments are human, and having dark moments does not mean you don't have values! When we befriend our dark moments, we have the opportunity to see our values in action - they are what come to the fore and help us find the glimmer of hope again! And in the lightest moments, our values are the same, they are what come to the fore and helps us bathe in the glimmers. Just wanted to add that as I was afraid maybe it sounded like dark = no values -- and that really is so *not* what I meant!]

If you try it out, I'd love to hear how your experiments go. Or if you have other ways that have worked for you in defining values or seeing your values in play, please leave comment or share link to your blog post about that experience!

Miracles,
k-

IndieReader may be Indie, but not Alternative for me...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Review of IndieReader Process
by Kara L.C. Jones

For a while now, publicity has been floating around about the IndieReader. It's basically a review house that focuses on self-published titles. If they review your title, then they will post it for sale on their site, taking 25% of retail sale of each copy of the book sold. Mind you, you still have to have the book printed, and you are required to ship the book to the buyer. IndieReader is not printing nor doing fulfillment for you.

The press coverage and their internal PR says that IndieReader is helping to legitimize self-publishing, making Indie Rock Stars out of self-published authors, bringing your books to the world. Well maybe, but I must say that the first time I went there and found authors were asked to join IndieReader for $99/first year ($149/annual thereafter) and pay $25 per book they submitted for review [not to mention the 25% of each sale if the book was reviewed/sold on Indie]...well, lets just say I had my doubts.

It's not unlike small publishers who host contests each year where authors have to pay to entry fees for consideration. So you decide you really want to be published, and in this year you are going to enter 20 of these contests. Maybe each entry fee is $8.00 USD. At the end of the year, you've spent $160 on entry fees, plus postage for sending and getting content back if it's not used. And guess what? Annoyingly, your work didn't get picked for any of these. At the end of the year, you've become one of the investors in the careers of the "winners" but you haven't done much for your own writing endeavors.

I totally understand this paradigm is a way for Indie presses and services to stay in business, and we all want to make a living, of course. But while it maybe branded as indie, it doesn't seem like a viable alternative for me personally as I find ways to share my heART-works in the world.

A true ALTERNATIVE: Keep your couple hundred bucks and self-publish a small run of chapbooks. Go out and do local readings and sell them there. At the end of the year, you will have put books in hands and connected with people!

That's the difference between Indie and Alternative if you ask me.

+++

Now I am on the HARO list and get inquires daily. Recently a query came across from IndieReader saying they were looking for titles and authors, and there was no fee required. So I decided to jump in and see what happened -- with an eye toward reviewing the process, regardless of outcome. Thought to share review of this process because many of our blog readers and coaching clients look to self-publishing options for their own projects, and they often wonder if this kind of service is worth the cost.

So I sent back a quick note to say I was interested. Just as quickly a reply came saying I could send review copies in to such-and-such address. I decided to send the grief support books "Mrs. Duck and the Woman" and "Flash of Life" -- both of which have been in print for 10 years now, but have a very niche market as grief support books. Even in the grief niche, they are somewhat alternative in that they were written to address stillbirth loss specifically. Plus I added in a copy of our "Mother Henna's Coloring Book for People of All Ages," which of course is another alternative -- not literature, not narrative, but actually a coloring book.

A few days after sending the books, I got email back from the initial contact person asking if I had submitted books of another author. They didn't say exactly why they were asking, but I got the impression there was some mix up with who sent what books. Must say that didn't instill a lot of confidence either. It's like sending original artworks to magazines because they want to do their own photography of the pieces. And then they return the art to you damaged. Makes you wonder at the sheer busidiculousness of these businesses and how they keep running when there is obviously overwhelm happening there. And I don't mean that to be mean! I'm seriously in awe of that because it happens to me in my own business, too!!!

So then another bit of time went by, and I eventually got an email that said, "We have decided that your books are not quite right for the site at this time. We do encourage you to keep writing and hope you will consider sending us other submissions in the future. "

Hm? Well, okay, but not very helpful. So I responded, asking if I could get the books back. I was purposely pushing here because in the process via HARO, there had been no mention of sending SASE if you wanted books back nor what would happen to the books after review. My inquiry was never answered. I had previously dug around on the IndieReader site and found that paying authors were told to send SASE if they wanted books back, but otherwise books were not returned to them either. But I could find no mention anywhere of what actually happens to the books. Given to libraries? Recycled? What? I did ask specifically, too, but as I said: never answered.

Lastly, I also pushed back on the reply in general. It would be one thing to get a reply that said they don't have a niche for grief books or coloring books; or they are focusing on narrative works at this time; or they thought the quality of the book production was lousy; or they hated my writing style. Something! But to get back something as generic as, "...not quite right for the site at this time..." from a venue that normally asks authors to pay/join before sending materials? So I wrote back asking if there was any more detail to that rejection. And the contact person replied saying they themselves don't look at the books, and the Indie review committee doesn't read the books unless they are selected for review, so none of them had looked at the books. This person encouraged me to, "...assume that, as stated, they're not right for the site at this time."

At this point, I wrote back to fully disclose that I was actually in the process of reviewing this IndieReader experience. I thanked the person for their time, but said I was pushing back because for review I'm keen to know 1) what happens to the books after review, and 2) was this generic response what all authors could expect -- even those who will pay $99 for joining Indie?

No reply. Okay, so they made a choice to not answer these questions.

While answers would have been helpful, I am not a stalker, so I did not push back again. I let the no-reply stand and decided it was time to finish this narrative and share the review here.

ADDENDUM
After posting this review, I did get a reply from the contact person at Indie. Her replies were as follows:

Regarding what happens to the books after review:
"It's not posted...and you're the first person to ask. The books that are rejected are donated to various sources."

Regarding the vetting process and details as to why the books weren't right at this time:
"No...it's not a cursory look. It's a thorough reading. Being grief-related--or a coloring book--has no bearing either way. We accept all kinds of books, not just literature."

So okay, they attempted to answer. As I said I am not a stalker and will not push back again. BUT "various sources" is not an answer to my specific question of what happens. Are the sources libraries, Indie employees, schools, what?

AND I'm glad to know they did more than give a cursory look at our books and that they are open to niche market books. BUT that tells me nothing about WHY our books were "not right at this time." Does that mean they hate the style? They frowned upon the production quality? What? If the books are not right at this time, will there be another time when they will be right? Or do you think there might be some helpful feedback they could offer, something I could work with IF I were to ever send them anything again (which I won't!)?

So okay, thanks for the answers. But those aren't really answers.

+++

There are lots of ways to self-publish and promote your publications. IndieReader may be the indie version of Publishers Weekly. That is a niche to be filled indeed. But my personal experience says that this publicity/sales/review venue isn't much of an alternative to anything.

I will keep my $99 this year + $25 per book for review + 25% of each sale of books they might accept and do something truly alternative with it:

Print a small run of a new chapbook and sell it on my Etsy shop
Or buy a booth space at a popular local festival and sell my books there
Or buy an hour of one-on-one time with a really killer publicist or coach to generate ideas for how to promote my work in the coming year
Or buy ad space on one of the popular blogs or on Etsy
Or pay conference fee to a Writers Conference where I actually get information and meet real people

But that's just me. You do what you feel is right for you, of course.

+++

All that said about this particular aspect of IndieReader, I will also say that they do host journal and zine articles on many topics, from many folks including writers, reviewers, publicists, editors, and more. There are many helpful topics covered there. Some hilarious sharings. And some insightful looks at the collapsing reality of tradition publishing. So go for the freebie stuff for sure!

The above review is caveat emptor specifically about the IndieReader process that says it will make self-published authors into indie rock stars. Not only was my experience far from that, but if I had actually paid them $99 for it?? Ugh. No way. Not my cup of tea.

+++

Postscript

As I was proofing and reading this to Hawk, he asked me a really good question. He asked what my review would have been if they had accepted any of my titles. You know, he was prodding me to really consider if I'm sharing as honest a review as possible or if it is just sour grapes. I sat with that for a bit.

While I can't know what I woulda, coulda, shoulda, I like to think that I would have still used critical thinking in my review and decision on whether to move forward with them. We often sell products in shops and galleries that take a commission, but I always weigh what we get from them for that cost.

If I'd have had the chance to list with Indie for just percent of sale, I might have tried it. Much like listing with Amazon (they don't charge you membership fees, just % of sale), I might have left the book listed and considered it a cost of advertising. We don't sell much through Amazon, but people find us there. They usually then come to us directly. So the commission on the few sales we do get with Amazon are the cost of advertising for all the other connections that come from there. I may have let the Indie experience run for much the same reason.

But I would not have coughed up $99 or $149 membership fee nor would I have ever sent in $25 for them to consider other titles. There are better ways to use that investment energy! And I would still want to know what happens to the review copies! [The answer I did eventually get - see Addendum above - is not really an answer of what happens to the books exactly!]

All in all, I keep coming back to what I've been telling authors for the past decade:

Do your homework. Question things thoroughly.

This goes for everything: contests with entry fees, publish-on-demand packages, and rock star promises from publicists. Just think it through so you know that you know that you know you are investing your time, energy, and money in the best way possible for you and your heART-work!

Miracles,
k-

Why I Blog & a tip or two...for Talk To Me Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:32:00 +0000

Why I Blog...
plus a tip or two
for Talk To Me Tuesday at Tip Junkie

Intriguing question. Why do I blog? Easy answers: to vent, to share, to explore. Real answers? Hmmm? That's more involved.

When I started blogging, it seemed like an interesting new tool, a new way to share in art swaps and give-aways, a place to share creative prompts and tips for living creatively in the face of grief. It is still all that, but it is more now, too.

Somewhere along the line, I began to realize that my way of being in this world is through my ideas. As a coach and heARTist, my ideas are the source of all I create and share. This blog feels like the heART of the archive of my treasures. There is so much content here now. I mentioned in my last post that the last few years have been about creating, but now I realize that I have this full body of work. Time to give the work legs and let it walk out in the world a bit farther. The creating will never stop. In fact, I'm very close to finishing the first 1,000 Faces of the Mother Henna project, and it dawned on me that I probably won't end it there. There are a second 1,000 Faces and more inside me just like the endless archive of myths Joseph Campbell explored all his life.

But it is time to cull through the archive, shape my kick-ass, bootleg tape and start spreading copies of it. As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm taking the month of November to plan what it might look like to do this culling and bootlegging in 2010. But one thing I'm already thinking about is going thru the archive of the blog and my website columns to put together an eBook of articles on various topics. We'll see what comes of it. But it was interesting to think that the blog itself has become like my box of paints, and I'm scanning the colors, choosing what to put into the next canvas.

So why do I blog? Well, it has become another piece of my heART-work. I love creating here. I love connecting here. I love sharing here. The good, the ugly, the process. And I look forward to continuing to voice my authentic experiences here. Even when it feels risky to do so, like sharing my truth in reviewing a product or service that wasn't so great, like sharing my rage when discovering a supposed care-giver who has added guilt and shame to the grief of another. It's become my place for speaking truth even when it makes me nervous to do so :) That's a line from the FABU Wild Woman poster you can get free over at Bliss Chick!

Now, onward to the TIPS!

Learning to blog is like learning to walk. You go slow, crawl, then stand, then take one step at a time, and eventually you can skip and run, too. So these are things I've found along the way... explore at your own pace. Take what fits your blog space and ignore the rest. Make your blog your own!

LinkWithin

This is the widget that generates the thumbnails of related posts at the bottom of each entry. It is an interesting way to put some longer legs under your older posts. Because posts get buried chronologically, it can be hard for readers to find relevant posts. But LinkWithin makes somewhat intelligent suggestions to them of where to look next. It's been a good tool addition in my experience.

Etsy Mini

This is the widget that shows a selection of thumbnail listings from my Etsy shop. There is a general how-to posted on the Etsy Garden blog...click here. I will add to it, that if you are on Blogger/Blog spot, you do the following:

go into to Customize your Page Elements
click Add A Gadget
choose HTML/Javascript
that opens a box element and this is where you paste the Etsy Mini code!
then you can move that box element around your layout and place it wherever you like
you can see sample of mine in the left side bar of my blog at motherhenna.blogspot.com

Picture Trail

Though Blogger is great about giving you space for photos and uploading directly to here, I do sometime like to do slide shows like this one:

And I also like to do top and side banner buttons on my blog like these:
To add these to my blog, I am again going into Customize the Page Elements.
Then adding a new Gadget, choosing the HTML/Javascript box.
Inside the box, I'm adding links to the jpgs of the buttons that live in my Picture Trail account, and then making the button images link to pages on my main website OR to older blog posts that are hosting still relevant information for things like an on-going heARTist Collaboration and such.

Content

My last tip for blogging is about generating your content. In the beginning, I was just posting about the 1,000 Faces of Mother Henna artwork. So that was at least 1,000 entries, I figured! But it became quickly apparent to me that I had more to say in addition to sharing the art. I began sharing how-to articles and vlogs to show you how I was making the art. I began sharing meditations to share how I get into a decent head and heart space (most of the time). :) And I began sharing the hard stuff, too, disappointments, icky experiences -- and how I was processing those to make my own meaning from them via art.

All of that feels like it is part of my heART-work. But there are times when I sit in front of the blank screen and come up with nada, nothing, zippo, zilch! So what is a blogger to do?? Here are some of the things that work for me:

1) I keep a legal pad and pen nearby at all times, even next to the bed. And as soon as a topic or creative prompt idea pops in my head, I jot it down. And after I have a few jots on pieces of paper around the house, I pull them all together into one folder. Then when I find myself blinking blankly at the blankness, I open the folder and see what catches my eye.

2) I participate in as many blog carnivals, fests, and fun as I can find and have interest in doing. You'll always find great topic prompts over at Blog Carnival. Each carnival topic has its own launch date and host. You can comb thru there and see if you have older entries that fill the topic -- gives your posts a longer life after they have scrolled off the main page! And you can write new posts for topics if you like. Many Blog Fests come up in individual people's blogs -- we host a few fests a year here at Mother Henna...and many others, some I've found via Artful Blogger, host them, too. Just a couple off the top of my head:

One World-One Heart Annual Give-Away Fest
A Fanciful Twist Annual Halloween Fest

and of course join us here on Mother Henna for our annual Day of the Dead Fest later this week!

3) Inspiration comes every day of the week with creative prompts and festival. Here's just a quick sample of places hosting prompts based on day of the week -- if you follow these, you get a new prompt every day of every single week:

Sunday Scribblings
Monday Poetry Stretch
That's My World Tuesday
Wishcasting Wednesday
Inspire Me Thursday
Illustration Friday
Saturday Scribes

And of course Tip Junkie is always hosting fantabulous ways to share your blog... sharing your tips, your Talk To Me Tuesday ideas, Tutorial Thursday, your give-aways, and more!

Hope all this has been a fun romp -- maybe inspirational or helpful in some small way for you on your own blog!

Miracles to you!
k-

Dare to RISK: 'nother week on Joy Diet

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:25:00 +0000

Reiki to all on the Joy Diet Journey!
+++

Dare to RISK:
'nother week on the Joy Diet with The Next Chapter

"Martin Luther King Jr. once said that no one is truly free who is afraid to die."

Amen. Awomen. Apeople.

I have lots of Crooked Majik in my bag of tricks, but pretty much all of it stems from the experience of giving birth to death. Once my son died, what was there to possibly fear about my own death? Who cares. Life, death, all the same. Love lives on. Would I do almost anything to have him physically back? Probably. But given that this isn't a choice, love lives on in whatever ways I can muster and majik into being.

Think about it really. If it's me, if I die first, well, then okay. Next. I'm dead. If it's my mom, my Hawk, if they die first, well, then that will suck. And the world will keep turning and in whatever ways I can muster and majik into being, I'll find ways to keep expressing how much I love them, how much I appreciate all they gave to me and for me, how much they shared, how unique and amazing they are.

So there you go. Death. Pheh. Whatever.

+++

Okay, so RISK is really the larger topic for the week.

Have to say I found myself laughing as I was speed reading, thinking, "Geez, Martha does go on and on." Me. Ms. Wordy, herself, seeing Martha-Risk-Wordy reflecting me to me. Hey, Martha, have I thanked you yet for the exercise about moving across the room, but no one can move across in exactly the same way as the person before them does it? That has become my crowning jewel for explaining what I do.

I say, "I'm a Grief & Creativity Coach," and the other person responds with:

"I'm not an artist"
"I don't use art therapy in my practice"
"I'm not really very creative"

and now I tell them:

No, see, that exercise is creativity. Moving from the moment of trauma, moving your body across space to learning how to live life in the face of loss, THAT'S Creativity. Art might be a part of it. But it's the finding your own unique way across the space, that's the creativity I'm talking about here.

Thanks for that, Martha.

+++

Okay, what was I saying? RISK. That's the larger topic for the week.

Well, RISK FUELED BY DESIRE, I totally get that.

Risk for the sake of risk. Uh, well, okay, I guess, but sorta boring and who cares.

But RISK FUELED BY DESIRE, now you are talking my language, baby!

+++

So where is the practice of RISK at work in my life? Let's see:

1) Everyday I get emails from the HARO list. Queries from journalists and other media folks looking for people to share stories, tips, ideas resources. Sounds like boring business, aye? Well, for me it is downright SCARILOUSLY SCARY! What?! You want me to connect with people in media? To share something and risk having them edit, skew, or worse reject my sharing? You want me to show up in print or other media and have others HEAR me? OMG. Seriously. Are you joking? No way. Thank you. I'll stay over here in the corner of my studio and type and paint and you all go do whatever you do in the world thank you very much.

BUT NO!!!!!!!!!! Instead, five. days. a. week., THREE TIMES A DAY, I get HARO inquiries. I dare to read them and as often as I read and hear an answer in my head to any of the queries, I hit the reply button and send it out into the ether. I sweat, I panic, sometimes I procrastinate and let them sit in my inbox for three days in a row, but then I sit down and go thru each one. I risk it. In big and little ways, it has landed my ideas in books, magazines, newspapers, and blogs. Okay. NEXT!

2) I face the blank screen, page, canvas every single day. Shit. No way. Come on. Really. I could just get a job, some predictable thing, show up this time, leave that time, paycheck in hand on this day every month, deal with other people's stuff. It's so easy, and I'm good at it. I remember landing a job once and the guy was over the moon to have a person who knew how to alphabetize his files without using one of those cheaters with the alphabet actually written on it. I could have asked him for double salary and benefits after the first week, and he'd have done it. It's amazing how much people need and are starving for solid, intelligent help.

BUT NO!!!!!!! Instead, I want my own damn life, my own damn walls, my own damn schedule, my own damn everything. I get out of bed each day and take up the blank screen, the blank page, the blank canvas and fucking making something that wasn't there before. And then I put it out in the world. Sometimes the ends meet, sometimes they don't. Oh fucking well. Sometimes things go smoothly. I once did henna style deco on teapots and cup, a whole SLEW of them for a local shop. Half the pieces sold, and then the shop didn't want them anymore. I took them all back, sold a few on my Etsy shop, gave a few to auctions, and guess what? A year later, a new shop owner stopped me one day and said, "Hey aren't you the henna teapot artist?" and now the few pieces I had left are back in the maindrag, storefront window for the holidays. YOU NEVER KNOW. Keep facing the blankness. Even when it seems like a failure to have half your creations returned to you unsold, YOU NEVER KNOW what that really means. BLANKNESS. Risk it. Face it. Show up.

Oh, and somewhere in your day, eventually, try to remember to brush your teeth. I usually prefer to make my first piece of art first, then brush. :)

NEXT!!

3) I have a serious fear of public speaking...presentations, teaching, readings, any of it. I get flash hot, I blush from my stomach up to the top of my head, I say UM like crazy, I'm a batty Italian GRRL so when I talk I use my hands A LOT. Just leave me be in my batty, mad woman in the attic, studio making art, okay?

BUT NO!!!!! I often say yes. I agree to do these things. What the hell for???? Let me tell you. I did a reading of very raw writings right after our son died. At a museum. In front of one of those academic, poet crowds. Hard core. This was not the slammer crowd with tats and nose rings. These were suits and afternoon tea and traditional print medium folks. There were other readers that day. Many with the "poet voice" and the appropriate golf clapping in response. In my turn, I got up there and read with all the venom and hate and love and heartbreak of giving birth to death. Shit, they invited me, so... At the end, as we left the building a woman came up to me. Hair back in a bun, glasses, pant suit, pretty sure she'd been a writing professor for years. Took off her glasses, tears in her eyes, put her hand on my arm and choked out, "Thank you. 50 years ago my son died the same way. I never saw him. They didn't even let me name him. But he has a name. Thank you for giving me permission to say his name."

She is pretty much why I still say yes to public speaking things. I figured if she was in the closet those 50 years, she wasn't alone in there. There's a whole MOB of us to be liberated. If I can lend voice to it, GREAT! See you on stage or in the classroom!

NEXT!!

+++

So Martha's challenge to us in this present moment is to look at current desire, pick the scariest thing possible and walk into the monster's lair of it.

I've realized that for years now, I've been in mode of creating. Creating my body of work. I don't think the creating will ever stop. BUT I do now have a body of work. My big scary thing is telling other people about that body of work.

It is easy for me to be in the studio creating and creating -- even though the blank canvas is scary, too, but it is less scary now with years of practice. The most scary thing on the planet is actually putting up with big blinking ARROW that says THIS WAY THIS WAY.

If I do that, then .... shit ... then ... what? People will show up? People will expect me to show up? Damnit. I feel like the big neon arrow is up. I'm standing at the wall socket with the plug in my hand, and I'm CERTAIN that I'm going to get electrocuted. There is no way in hell I want to plug it in. I have on rubber and all that jazz, but it's beginning to rain and there is a metal key stitched into my hat as embellishment. I'm going to get electrocuted. This sucks. I don't want to do it.

But I do want to keep living my own life. I do want to keep connecting and sharing heART. I do want to keep opening the closet door to liberate as many other heARTists as possible.

It's time for the big neon arrow. Shit.

So here we go.

+++

I'm breaking my risk into small steps. I'm making it hard to back out by telling y'all! So my plan: I'm going to clear as much of November as possible. Usually I do this to plan my creative activity calendar for the next year. But this year, I'm going to spend my November making plans for how to spread the word about my body of work. I'm going to make a really really good bootleg tape of my body of work and then I'm going to seed the world!

Hm. Maybe I'll even do a painting of the big neon arrow sign. Maybe that will be the new logo, banner, and such for 2010.

:)

Here we go...
Miracles,
k-

Creativity: another week on the Joy Diet

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:40:00 +0000

Creativity:
another week on the Joy Diet
with The Next Chapter bloggers bookclub

Perseverate...
Some years ago, when I first read Marianne Williamson's book A Return To Love, the one thing to stick with me the most was the idea that "a miracle is simply a shift in perspective." This latest chapter Creativity of Martha Beck's The Joy Diet book was great because it felt like an elaboration and exploration of that same idea.

Most of Martha's suggestions are tools I use regularly, though I admit not daily! However, the one thing I have not tried, and was loathe to even entertain trying, was the whole "perseverate on your enemies" thing. What an interesting prompt!!!

In the past whenever a person or situation pushed my buttons, I've scrambled or worked hard to try and process it. To gain some sort of understanding, move thru the anger, come to some point of peaceful acceptance. Sometimes it works. Often it doesn't and I perseverate anyway, but focused on the hate and anger and ick. Sometimes I can manage to send copious amounts of Reiki to the other person or situation and myself in the hope that it might be some small way of going beyond the annoying stuff. But in reading Martha's ideas, I could see that even doing that was pushing the situations into the all-or-nothing instead of unifying the false dichotomies.

So I really, really liked Martha's idea of taking the time we perseverate anyway and use it to explore what qualities are in the button pushing person/situation that might really be a quality I need/want to develop or work in my own life. That seemed liked a way to unify the false dichotomy of me vs them.

+++

Trying it on for size...
So first button-pushing situation that came up this week was... drum roll please... pushy sales and marketing people and programs. I'm sure you've seen the kind of thing I'm talking about here. It's those emails or announcments with links to webpage hosting a long schpeel:

about how great the program or product is,
how much you need it today,
lots of blurbs from clients who've benefited before you,
the "buy now coz it won't be around forever" blurbs,
and then the purchase information,
with a blurb in there about how if your growth/success/whatever is important to you, then you'll have the money to afford this great service/product/package because you know how to do what's right for you/your business/your self-development

OMG, I cannot tell you how much I despise those things. And I seemed to get one right after another this week. And seemed to be getting them from people/companies that I have previously worked with, love, access a lot. What the fark!!?? Ooooooooh, don't they know they are being pushy and obnoxious? Don't they know they are selling by fear, scaring people, pushing people with guilt and shame? I mean the whole thing about "you'll have the money for this because you know what's right for you" thing?? Guilt and shame! So what's the implication? If a person sees it and gulps, then they have money issues, they are living in scarcity and not ready for your golden, royal abundance?! ARG.

This is a huge issue for me. Not just personally as a customer -- because really, most of it that comes across my desk is stuff I'm not really interested in anyway. But it's an issue for me as a business person. Some of what comes across my desk is comparable services or products to what I offer in my own work. If being "successful" doing this kind of work requires the schpeely stuff, wow, I'm in trouble because I do NOT want to do that at all!

Okay, so wait.

Look at Martha's ideas.

If it bugs me this much, what is it reflecting about me?

Shit. Really. Ugh.

Okay, there is some truth to the schpeely stuff that it is dumbed down soooooooooooo to the core, just the facts, that it's hard to miss what is being offered. Whereas I do tend to be wordy.

Okay, there is some truth to the fact that you have to repeat things several times before it really gets on people's radars. This can be especially true with the heart of my audience which is often in the midst of grief -- and nothing makes you more scattery than grief. The schpeely things do put it in your face relentlessly till you cannot possible miss it, it is literally splattered all over your radar.

Okay, there is some truth to the idea that this "format" is equated with a "standard," a particular business practice, a particular formula for what that definition of "success" looks like. And I do tend to just fly all out there with whatever creative stuff I have without having any ideas of what "success" would mean to me. Since I don't define what a "success" would look like for me, I often discount things I've done or tried... or don't give myself credit for aspects of successfully learning what I learned by doing, etc.

Ugh. Martha, I hate this. Just so you know.

+++

The core...
So what is my core take-away from all this? Well, on some level, I think I'm with Martha's idea about going slow. Sitting with all this. Going to that yoga edge and giving myself plenty of time and space to expand into these new experiments instead of pushing myself to the point of injury. But I suppose there are a few core take-away ideas:

1) As I move into the world with my stuff, I might consider what would define a "success" with each particular service, product, workshop, etc. If I have some idea of what "success" means to me, then I can gauge if I'm on the right track or not along the way.

2) As with any awareness raising, repetition is the key. It doesn't sink in for people until it's come across their radar several times. I know this from my son's death. When he was stillborn, our doctor was as shocked as we were. She said stillbirth was rare, in all her years in practice, she'd never had a stillbirth, etc. A year later, she'd witnessed 10 stillbirths and the issue got on her radar. We all came to learn that stillbirth happens approx. 1 birth out of every 100 births -- here -- in the United States! Point being, for anything: issues, products, services, anything to get on the radar, there has to be repetition. My unifying dichotomy is that I want to repeat to get on the radar, AND I do not want to be obnoxious!

3) I am wordy. And some people just don't get me because, "there are too many words!" :) I need to value and retain my wordsmithing, AND I need to be able to dumb it down to a headline grabber. That might help with the whole getting on the radar idea.

Martha! Are you listening? All of this is really annoying!!!?

+++

An affirmation...
Just as I was starting to work out what to write for this week's entry, an email came. Someone was offering a new ecourse on the business of your art. If you just clicked the link, you'd get all the details. I clicked. Sure enough, a schpeely page. But if you signed up for their newsletter, for free, you got some free stuff -- good stuff, an ebook, a press release template, etc. Of course you can unsubscribe later, which I probably will. And of course if you scrolled the rest of the page, you'd see how those freebies are just the beginning and what you really need is the full course of materials if you are going to do right by your business, for only $399, yada yada.

BUT here's the thing. In the freebies was a tip about marketing your art. It basically said that though you know you are marketing the same piece of art, you'll need to pitch it differently depending on the publication you are trying to get to write about your work!! I had never fully, consciously gotten that before now. I got the idea of pitching, of sending press releases, etc. But I never fully got that you would do 1/2 a dozen press releases on the same piece/topic/event, each pitched slightly differently, aimed for varying kinds of publications. What a freaking gem of insight!!

So okay.

The whole thing was schpeely, obnoxious, based on scarcity and fear selling AND it had good stuff to offer in the abundant, helpful, give-away piece of the pie. And I have to admit that if I had the $399 "to do right by my business," I might actually have made the purchase because that little freebie gem is gold -- imagine whatever might be in the full materials. So it worked. Okay. I get it. AND I don't have the $399, so I'll have to do wrong by my business for now. :)

All in all, it felt like an affirmation of Creativity with Ms. Martha this week.
A little brick on the head to confirm I'm at least aiming in the right direction for me.
A reminder that in thy enemy there layth a truthith that mightith workith for moi.

Got it.
Next!

+++

REIKI TO ALL OF YOU WHO ARE ON THE JOY DIET, TOO!!
Miracles,
k-

Creative prompt: interviewing your dual selves...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Creative Prompt:
Interviewing Your Dual Selves
~a creative exploration for pregnancy loss, infant & child death awareness day (october 15th) and month (entire month of october)

After my own son died, I remember feeling as though I was suddenly a completely different person all the way down to the cellular level. While I looked the same, drank the same drinks at the coffee shop, appeared to walk the same way, I was moving through the world in a completely different way. But it was very difficult to articulate what was happening to me. If it was difficult to understand myself, it was doubly difficult to try and share this new version of myself with others, too.

Part of finding my way became a process of getting perspective. When I was caught in the all-or-nothing dichotomy of my "pre-death" and "post-death" selves, I could only see in black and white. There were no colors, no shades of gray. So to try and get a bigger picture, I did a visualization art exercise. I imagined the dual versions of myself as separate beings, imaginary friends or characters, if you will. And then I sat down with both of them to do an interview. I wrote up a list of questions for them, and when I imagined sitting down, I asked the questions outloud. And then I sat in silence, visioning the two versions of self, and listened to hear what answers came. As words and images came to mind, I wrote down the "answers."

This creative exercise helped me on many levels. I got some answers about how my pre- and post-selves were two sides of the same coin, about how they might inform one another, about qualities of self that were in an integration process. It also helped me establish a process of getting silent to find inner answers, a practice that I still use today. And it created a model for me to begin noticing other areas where I was seeing in an all-or-nothing way and then try to get a bigger perspective.

+++

Here's a part of the q&a to show you how this worked for me:

Q: Pre-Death self, what are you doing now?

A: Well, I feel a little lost. I've become thin, faded, like a grainy old film that is being eaten away by time and age. I'm still here holding onto dreams and inspirations and ideas, but no one seems to be able to hear me now. Or maybe it's that my ways of being are just too limited to address all you've been through. I guess I'm trying to find my way as much as you are.

Q: Post-Death self, have you tried talking with Pre-Death to see if there are ways you can work together?

A: I haven't gone to great lengths to talk with her really. She annoys me. She's happy and clueless and stupid and has no idea how much pain is in this world. I don't really want to work with her. But I do see that you feel torn by my stubbornness. Maybe there are some tools she had that could be adapted to this new landscape. But she has got to stop that chirpy singing and realize that in whatever ways we come to use her tools, it will look completely different now. She definitely does seem to have creative urgings that could help us here and now.

Q: Pre-Death self, I feel loss on top of loss. Not only did my child die, but you are gone, too. Can you help me understand this grief?

A: It's very hard for me to help you understand because I simply vanished at the moment you heard he was dead. My whole context for being evaporated when he died. Or so it seemed. I'm not really gone though. I am filtered through all the vision of Post-Death. I know you are having a hard time seeing me though. And if it helps at all, you can imagine me as a ghost who is on the other side helping Kota now. But I am also not entire lost to you. My sparks and thoughts come as whispers, masked, dressed in costume. My ideas only make sense partnered with the reality that Post-Death is seeing now, too. Be gentle with yourself, and trust that you will eventually hear both of us.

Q: Post-Death self, what the he** am I suppose to do now? Who are you?

A: I am a whole host of new vision. You've been pushed to the edge and your body (mind and spirit, too) are still trying to expand to fill and feel all that has happened. It's okay. You don't have to know what to DO now. It is okay to BE and feel. Allow ideas and thoughts to come and go. Don't try to hang onto any one of them with great investment. Grief is a time of change, transition, shedding of all that was. Allow your BEing to have that experience. Scream. Cry. Curse me if you like. It's okay. It's all part of it. It is a foreign landscape, so let yourself stroll the streets aimlessly and discover what's here. Let your voice spill out with stutters of the new language. It doesn't all have to make sense. Just FEEL it. That is enough for now.

+++

Now you try it. Take some quiet time to come up with your list of questions first. Then visualize doing your interview and record/write the answers as they come. When you are done, take some follow up time to look at the whole q&a. Are there any particular insights that are new for you here? Any surprises? Anything you want to explore further? Consider using the q&a as source material for making other art like writing a poem, doing a drawing or painting or collage. Or even consider writing up the q&a into an interview article like you might see in a magazine. It might turn out to be something you consider sharing in a grief newsletter or something. You never know.

Feel free to post questions, comments, or creative responses in the comments here! If you work this prompt and post results on your blog, please leave comment with link as I would be honored to see how you worked with this creative idea yourself.

Miracles,
k-

Art House Co-op...journal progress CED

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:10:00 +0000

So this is just documenting the art pieces I've done this week -- yes being Creative Everyday! -- mostly in an art journal, though there is a little peek at henna I did on my hand last weekend. This art journal project is for Art House Co-op which sponsors exhibits and houses a library of art journals. This one I'm working on here will be in a 2010 touring exhibit around the U.S., and then in 2011 it will become part of their permanent library in Brooklyn. Exciting project! I will keep posting updates here to my blog and to my contributor profile with Art House - so you can see progress there, too. Thanks!

Miracles,
k-

Desire...another week of joy dieting

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:57:00 +0000

Reiki to all who are on the Joy Journey!

Desire...
another week of joy dieting with the next chapter bloggers bookclub
by karalcjones

Indeed we are built as desire machines. If only we would listen to ourselves. But we are quelled with:

Don't be selfish. (as if being LESS A SELF is a great thing)

Be realistic. (as if desire isn't real)

What makes you so special. (as if it is rare to want joy)

I am reminded again of Marianne Williamson's writing in Return To Love about how we serve no one, least of all God, by playing small. And yet here we all are in The Next Chapter bookclub, hundreds of us slugging it out, delving deep, trying to find our way of play and celebration. Maybe it's more that we are trying to allow it to flow. That is what desire is about, right? Re-establishing the flow.

One of the things Martha suggests for peeling away the layers to get to the heart of desire, is to ask yourself, "Then what?" Locate the first obvious desire, even if it seems silly, and ask, "Then what?"

For me, my desire is a full quarter, three months, living on my own schedule WITHOUT the stress of "what voice mail is there" and "did you check email today" and "so and so is waiting for an answer." That one made me seriously realize that it has been over 10 years since I had any length of time to myself WITHOUT the stress of communication beckoning at my heels.

So complete silence. Time off. A real vacation. For life! :) But playing the "Then what" game, I realize that I don't need or want that for life really. Just a break. A vacation. An actual recharge.

And then what?

Art, art, art and more art. I've been doing that like crazy this week and LOVING it. That's my kernel of truth and nothingness: giving into the desire to make art, art, art, and more heART! Till it is overflowing (like it isn't already!?) from every crevice of the house.

And then what?

Well, this is interesting. For years -- literally YEARS -- I have wanted to license my artwork. I just do. That's how I want to make my living. I want the artwork out in the world. I'm doing art and producing some of it to go out in the world in the small ways I can. I want more. I want steady stream and flow of it finding its way into the world.

And then what?

Well, again, interesting. I come back to something I've written about many times here. Then I would come back to communicating and being in the world AS I AM INVITED and wanted to do so. I hate hate hate trying to get myself invited or hired or noticed or accepted into shows, publication, events, teaching gigs, etc. Even though I love to do all those things, I HATE trying to MAKE THEM HAPPEN. It always feels like pushing the river and ends up sucking. But when I move forward AS I AM INVITED and want to, it's always such amazing alchemy.

????????
As Martha says, you don't have to have all the answers or know exactly what it all means. Just sit with the desires as they come up. In the doing of NOTHING, sit with desires. Hear what your body tells you is the TRUTH about them. And then eventually you will distill DESIRE. It will be obvious. Every molecule in the machine of your body will go that way and it will unfold.

+++

So I'm holding that thought for now. Considering that maybe my desire to be invited is really having more work to do on inviting myself to love and acceptance of self and life as I am this moment. Considering that if something isn't happening in this moment on the licensing or inviting front, then what can I do now? Make more art. That is always at hand. Considering that if I can't see how a three month vacation without stress of communication is possible, what can I do now? Keep my own schedule. Go to the wine tasting and music night out with my hubby tonight. Ignore all phones and computers on the weekends. No matter what is happening, keep making the NOTHING silent time for myself each day.

Keep Imagining Peace till it's real. Inside and out.

+++

POSTSCRIPT: If any of y'all are here on Vashon, I'm inviting you to celebrate Day of the Dead. Saturday, October 24th, Noon to 5pm, at our Vashon studio. Sugar skull making and decorating. We'll provide all materials needed, but feel free to bring decorating stuff if you like. Suggested donation of $20 -- all proceeds going to Vashon Food Bank.

Silent Truth Is No Longer Silent...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:11:00 +0000

Reiki to all who are on the Joy Diet Journey

Silent Truth Is No Longer Silent...
posted for bloggers bookclub The Next Chapter,
reading The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

"I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life." ~Mahatma Gandhi

"...want to help this world...teach how to live in it...how to live in...joyful sorrow & sorrowful joy...of life as it is." ~Joseph Campbell

This week's topic of Truth set me off and seemed to coincide with several other things that pushed me to face Truth consciously.

I am not afraid of what Miriam Greenspan calls "The Dark Emotions." Feeling them is as easy as feeling joy, rolling with laughter, acting in celebration. My son's death taught me to feel the dark emotions in my being, let them wave through -- cry, throw rocks, scream at the ocean, stop time and go very far into my blanket house for a long time out. Whatever it takes. I don't label them "bad" but rather just another emotion like all others. My consideration is more about my ability to feel and be in touch with feeling, to express -- whatever the emotion -- rather than judging "this is negative" and "this is positive."

That said, I love the feeling of peace, joy, calm, playfulness, silence, art making, feeling appreciation in every present moment. So over the years, I've created a life where I purposely don't engage in much TV, print or online news, nor participate in groups, relationships, or events that are high drama drama drama. I'm not interested in horror films. Politics literally makes me sick to my stomach, so I don't go there.

+++

So several times in this week of Truth I was tested. Told that I was living in denial of "reality." Told that Mattel Corporation's release of the American Girl "homeless" doll was awareness raising. Told that the Robo-cop displays for the G20 in Pittsburgh were necessary. Told that Hitler was dangerous because people loved him and let him be in power the same way Pres. Obama is now loved and in power.

And I could feel it happening. I was being goaded to fight for the peace and justice I claim to love and want for the world. It took me a full day of sinking to the depths before I could come back to my own truth:

As soon as I fight for peace and justice, I become the fight, not the peace nor the justice.

I am not in denial of how awful "the world" is. But I cannot change the world. I can only change me. If I LIVE IN PEACE then I create peace around me, I contribute peace, maybe I'm even as fortunate as to model a way of peace for someone else who is seeking.

I understand the storytelling is a powerful tool for raising awareness. But what the Mattel Corporation is doing is not okay. They are objectifying homeless children and making a profit off of exploiting their stories. If we really want our children to understand homelessness, we need to take them with us when we volunteer at shelters, food banks, and soup kitchens. We need to boycott Mattel and take the $95 that they are asking for the "homeless doll" and donate it to our local food banks. We have to make "issues" HUMAN experiences for our kids to truly understand.

I understand that no one wants violence at gatherings like the G20. But the Robo-cops that were in Pittsburgh were not interested in the human beings there protesting with something to say. The Robo-cops were commanded to dehumanize themselves and the "objects" out there (other humans) to be cleared off the streets. Our entire political system -- every system of hierarchical power in history -- is built on dehumanizing and objectifying. The "leaders" were trying to get work done and had to be protected from the "anarchists" who were protesting to get in the way of "work" being done.

It's just a steroid version of what I see at every conference (with the exception of the MISS Foundation conferences). Most conferences are run so that the "professionals" are protected away from the "lay people" and "professional detachment" keeps everyone objectified and safe from one another. At the MISS conferences, the "professionals" are often shocked to find themselves throw in with the families. MISS sets up a paradigm by which we are all subject to one another, human compassion and connection is inescapable there. True alchemy happens. But I am under no illusion -- I know MISS is a gem, unique to this world. Political systems built on power and money will never let it happen to them. Dehumanization is required there.

And lastly my reaction to the invocation of Hitler to talk about Pres. Obama... well... I don't understand how anyone can not understand how this is objectification on steroids, too. When all I could do was respond to say that racism and hatred run deep in this kind of objectification, I was told that I was "pulling the race card" and people had objections about policy, not race. Well, you'll forgive me, but Hitler is an icon that is pretty tied up in race and hate and violence along ethnic, skin color, sexual preference, religious lines. So, um, hello. The race card was pulled by y'all bringing up Hitler in the first place. I didn't pull it. It was there. And as for issues we have with Pres. Bush Admin policies or Pres. Obama Admin policies, how about if we tackle the policies and leave Hitler out of it.

ANNDDDDDD HELLLLLOOOO we also have to be able to stop this ridiculous P.C. crap and admit that any discussion of policy IS ABOUT RACE and class and gender and all the other divisions and objectification that come with power systems. If we can't even admit that to each other, how are we going to connect with each other's humanity. I'm just as guilty of it as you. You are uncomfortable with a black man in power. I am uncomfortable with your right wing Christianity that condemns mixed race people, same sex couples, and any religion that doesn't involve the figure of Christ.

If we can't admit these things to each other, do we really think we can get anything else done?

+++

All that said, the issues and power and humanity and objective and subjective -- it's all too much.

I cannot fix it, make it better, find a perfect society.

All I can do is experience my present moment.

I have the response-ability to use that present moment experience to add to LIVING IN PEACE AND RESTORATIVE JUSTICE rather than adding to the fight.

So it is fine with me if you need to label and objectify me into things like:

"She's a dreamer."

"She's loony."

"She is so not living in reality."

"She's one of those artists."

"Wow, I feel sorry for her because she is so not living a real life."

"She is an infidel."

"You know, I think that woman is mentally insane."

That's your opinion and I will not bow my head before anyone even at the cost of my own life.

My own life is one of peace.

I live on an island. Literal and figurative.

I sleep and wake when I want.

I am self-sustaining and report to no one.

I make art any time of the day or night that moves me.

I cry and laugh when I want.

I am willing to stand next to you as you go through the heartbreak of homelessness and hunger because I have lived in my car and needed the Food Bank many times.

I am willing to stand next to you as you take years to find your way through grief because I have needed long patient years in this impatient world before I could find my way.

I am equally willing to dance with you in celebration.

I will spend hours staring at the blue sky and puffy clouds.

I will blow soap bubbles whenever I need and want.

I will ask for help and give help as often as is needed.

I will honor your need for community and alone time because I know I need both, too.

I will love and forgive because I know you and I are both human and will make mistakes and feel rage and cause or have hurt feelings. But I'm confident that because we are human, we can reconnect beyond the ego of those things and find our heARTs again.

And I am not afraid to die.

Death and grief will never conquer love.

Miracles to you,
k-

heART of Life & Death... online as self paced session now!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:02:00 +0000

heART of Life & Death session is now online as a self-paced course.

FREE Sample podcast: We've posted a copy of the MP3 on the topic of New Normal free as a sample of what you get with registration...just right mouse click here [or ctrl + click if on MAC] and choose "Save Link As" to download your copy now.

The heART of Life & Death is a six week participation for those who we are learning how to live creatively while becoming familiar with the stories we tell ourselves about grief, death, dying. We'll get curious about prevailing cultural myths that drive beliefs about "how to grieve" or any imposed or prescribed rules such as "stages of grief" and more. Consciously or unconsciously, we are all living out the stories of Self within a cultural context. When we choose to do this consciously though, we are less likely to feel "victim" over and over again. In this creative exploration, we'll explore integration of Life & Death using creative tools. You will discover that, if you choose to be conscious of your story and the culture surrounding you, then you can go beyond self and society imposed limitations, shed the "rules" that don't fit, and begin to choose your own unique ways of creative living.

For full registration and details, visit http://www.motherhenna.com/events_registration.htm#heart

Miracles!
k-

From Nothing to Joy and Back Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara aka Mother Henna) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 09:11:00 +0000

Reiki to all on the Joy Trip!

Reminder
We're doing Day of the Dead art swap and blog fest... 8 spot left open if anyone wants to come play! Click here for details and sign-up!

Playing with Nothing
an experiment in
Martha Beck's book The Joy Diet
for The Next Chapter bloggers bookclub

"Sit under a blue sky. Keep your head open and empty. Let ideas come into you. Cherish them." ~Yoko Ono

Well, I missed the intro last week that kicked off this latest round of bookclub (but there are lots of JOY touchstones in my vid this week). And I have yet to decide how I might like to make Vision Cards as part of this reading (but I think my still photo here is the beginning of what a card would be for me). That said, I did play and tangle with this week's topic:

Oh, what fun! Our bloggers bookclub, The Next Chapter, is Joying our way through Martha Beck's book The Joy Diet. This week we took our first step: NOTHING!!!!!

Wow. You would think that would be easy. NOT. Sharing my vlog of the little tour of nothingness that my crazy brain embarked upon in this experiment. Hope you are inspired to do nothing in your life, too :) Get inspired and then go make art! That's what it's all about...

Miracles,
k-