Exploring Grief Using Radical Creativity

heART-full permission plus a few updates...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Sat, 18 May 2013 08:58:00 +0000

I am still loving the work and play we get to do over at the Creative Grief Studio. Recently, one of the creative prompts I shared with you all here previously, got a new life and share over at the Studio blog: click here to read it.

And we are about 1/2 full for our professional training course that starts in September. If you have been considering exploring niche specialty in grief & creativity, check it out. Cath and I will be considering applications over the next few weeks, so if you apply be on the lookout for response soon.

We are spending part of our summer reviewing the curriculum to tighten up the modules and to have a full edit done by a set of eyes that have not previously read it. Cath and I have been through it so many times now, that we often just keep reading what we mean to put there instead of catch the little missing words or grammatical errors. So that will be great to have a new set of eyes on it. We're both taking materials out (that will eventually become pieces of stand-alone offerings) and hoping to add a few new things like faculty interviews with a few of the folks we have on our reading list for the course now. I always love getting to do new sessions with guest faculty, so that should be fun!

And we'll have several new issues of our eNews out over the course of the summer where we'll share some great resources, news from our most recently certified coaches, and more creative heART-work. If you haven't already gotten your free subscription, you can get on the list here.

It's been great collaborating with so many helping profession. We've had many coaches, but also funeral home directors, hospice folks, social workers, and such do training with us. While all have also had personal experiences with grief of course, they are approaching -- and our materials are serving -- a professional niche which has been a most interesting discovery process for us all! Our Grief 101 MP3 is free and will give you a full picture of what we are doing with the Studio if you are trying to understand our work there!

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For those of you who are bereaved yourselves and looking for personal use materials and such, I have lots of offerings via MotherHenna or GriefAndCreativity.com. You'll find some of the materials for personal use are available free:

Creative prompts: click here
Mrs. Duck and the Woman eBook and support articles: click here
Flash Of Life eBook: click here
The entire archive of Different Kind of Parenting eZines: click here

And there are a few workshops I offer as home, self-paced, and very reasonably priced at $35/ea for 6 weeks worth of materials in each course. If you look at the detail pages for each of the workshops, you'll find a free MP3 is given away as a sample for each course, so you can get a feel for the different focuses:

Home workshops: click on workbook cover image of the workshop you want to learn more about...

I thought I'd open my personal coach practice back up by now, but I still have some work I want to do this summer to flesh out my in-person, Skype, art, group, one-on-one stuff. So thank you for being patient with me on that. More on that in the fall maybe :)

While I know that there are copious amounts of materials out there from me -- because I've been doing this since 1999 in various roles from KotaPress editor to Studio educator to fellow bereaved parent in zines and blogs -- I do hope you all know that it is *ALL* offered from a place heART-full intention and with the aim to serve BOTH bereaved people AND those who care for them. As always always always, if you have questions or concerns, just get in touch with me! Leave comment here, send email, text my phone, set up a Skype appt with me.

And lastly for this little catch up and update, for those of you who have recently read my personal update over on the Letters to Kota blog, thank you for your kindnesses and understanding. It has not been the outcome I wanted -- to endure the death of another child, and this time, so early in the pregnancy -- but it is what it is. Hawk and I are doing lots of quiet time, meditation, being gentle with each other and life. Thank you for the offers of help and such. I'm grateful to have such generous, kind hearts as you in our lives. *And* we are okay. Ish. If we do find we need anything, I'll let you know. But in the meantime, just the kind thoughts and supportive vibes are awesome. Thank you.

Much love -- and hoping to get back to posting more regularly here again!

Miracles,

Ever after...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:55:00 +0000

Part of the ever after is just coming to a space where I can live with the following: I miss them all the time. I love them just as much as if they were still physically here. And I still have a relationship to them that involves things like remembering them, talking to old photos I have of them, doing things in my present day life that honor what they taught me, how they loved all of us, and the lives they lived.

They are Mimi and Unkie. They were always loving grandparents to me even though they were really great-auntie and great-uncle. They took me on road trips and airplane trips. Unkie put up with me jumping out of the boat to splash around and swim even though he and my cousin Joey were trying to fish. Mimi put up with my imaginary friend (named Friendy btw) who did things like carve names into wood tables and draw on walls with crayons. Unkie made the best bean soup in big pots in his kitchen downstairs, just off the game room, behind his cooooool hand-crafted bar where you'd always find ice cold Pepsi. Mimi made gnocchi in marinara upstairs in her kitchen where the window over the sink looked out over the tire swing in the backyard. They welcomed every friend I ever brought home, and they decided they loved Hawk even before they met him, just because I loved him.

Mimi lived 12 years + after Unkie died. They were married 53 years. I never heard them argue once. I heard them laugh a lot. She died on Easter morning this year. I miss them so much.

While I don't really know what I believe about "after-death" or "after life" or rebirth or reincarnation or anything like that, I do hope they have gotten to meet up again in some form. I know Mimi never stopped saying good morning and good night to his photo each day. I know she used to tell his photo all the news of the day. I hope they are getting to communicate in a more direct way again now. I hope they are somewhere in a lovely deva, mushing-molecules realm of some alternate universe where they can spend an eon laughing together again.

Have I mentioned I miss them?

Le sigh. Learning to live my life after death. Again. It's true that sometimes grief gets boring. I just want to love them and be in the splash of ocean or stream water, laughing with them. I want to keep moving in this chaotic world in ways they would be proud of...I hope the love I still feel for them can reach them wherever they are.
Miracles,
k-

These things are not mutually exclusive...addressing death in community.

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 16:46:00 +0000

The one thing I see coming up over and over again is this: people are reluctant to embrace the "AND" because it feels too messy.

I've been home, back on Vashon Island, for less than two weeks, but I've heard from multiple people now who have asked for a little help or insight on facing the messy human stuff that comes in the aftermath of a death that affects, not only individuals and families, but also an entire community. These people have approached me from various roles: bereaved parent, parent of a child who was friends with someone who died, alternative care providers, just plain old concerned neighbor. If ever I needed the "ripples of loss" to be shown to me in action, here it is.

So look, I don't know that I have any particularly special answers or ideas. There are a lot of people on the island offering a variety of things to help or serve people who feel the long term impact of death. But I do hear the concerns of those who have approached me. There is a worry that there is a long term impact, but no one wants to, or no one knows how, to address it. There is a prevailing Western, cultural feeling that says, "That's enough now." Or, "Time to get on with living your life now." All the while, people are continuing to encounter the every single day, messy, human stuff that we *very normally* encounter as we re-realize each day that, "Oh, that's right, he/she is not physically here anymore."

It takes a lot more time than our impatient world wants to allow, but there it is. The first banana slug is spotted and BAM -- "Oh, that's right, he's not here this Spring to do the banana slug dance with me." The team won a hard fought game and BAM -- "Oh, that's right, she is not here to do our post-game celebration." It's mother's day and BAM -- "Oh, that's right, my friend's son/daughter is not here to be with her today."

This isn't cause for worry that people are too sad or hung up on grief or getting stuck in depression. This is just the every single day reality of learning to live your life again after death has taken someone you love.

It takes much longer than our impatient world wants to allow, but part of that learning to live again is about re-forming your relationship to the person who died. They have physically died, but your love for them has not died. What do you do with that love now? How do you re-direct it in a meaningful way? What do you do with the love, time, money, energy that belonged to the person who died?

This isn't morbid or cause for therapy or being worried the person is hanging onto sadness for "too long." This is what learning to live after death looks like. It's normal.

And while we can all witness for each other, share stories, offer ideas, there is no single one of us who can offer any others of us *the* answer. This learning is all about the "AND" and not about the "Either/OR" of life. It is about feeling sad AND finding a meaningful way to express the love you still have for the person who died. It is about aching that your child is not here for Mothers Day AND giving the love, money, time, and energy that would have been for them to some other direction *in their name and honor*! It can be about celebrating their life lived and the life you are still living AND it is also about the fact that they are not physically here and how do I adjust to that?

I can give you lots of ideas. You have to pick up the various offerings, try them out, see what fits, discard what doesn't fit. You have to make your own meaning. You have the right to edit out any of the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" stuff that is being put at your feet. You don't have to "get over it now" or "be better" or whatever people "should" you with along the way. You have permission to do this in community because your love, and the death of the person you love, happened in community, too.

Don't let anyone make you hide, feel shame, or question your own path, way, exploration for re-making meaning in your life now. Keep your power. Be well AND let your heart ache. Give love in the world AND remember the person by name.

You get the idea. Hopefully. :)

So as to offering specific ideas, here are a few. These are things I've tried myself or with clients in my creative grief coaching practice. They are not prescriptions. They are ideas. Offerings. Experiments. Take what makes sense to you. Ignore what doesn't.

Having one of those very tough days when anger or envy raise a head and make you want to stomp? Maybe someone "should-ed" you? Maybe you realize that your friends are acting a little weird as they move through life with their living children and don't know how to be around you now that your child is dead? Maybe you don't know how to be around them? What do we do with all that welling-up of stuff?? IDEA: Go down to the water and throw rocks as hard as you can while screaming at the waves! I know it can seem silly. But vocal release of that sound ARRRRRGGGG! can be such a relief to your wound up body.

Are you struggling with the ways death has shattered things? Maybe your child's friend has died which has shattered innocence for your child? Maybe your partner has died -- or your parent has died -- and something fundamental in your day to day life is shattered, different now? Maybe your child died and your faith is entirely shattered? Maybe just the disorientation of the person physically being gone, maybe that alone, just feels shatter-y and scatter-y? IDEA: Go to the thrift store and get a bunch of 10 cent dishes. Set up a safe space like a wall with bins at the base -- and make sure you are wearing goggles -- BE SAFE -- and then throw the dishes at the wall from a safe distance. Feel that whole plate move from your hand and watch as it shatters against the distant wall. Make noise as you throw if you want. And then *safely* after all the dishes are smashed, gather the bins of shards and sit down to mosaic various pieces of heART. Allow the metaphor of the shattering and heART-making to wash over you. See what comes of the pieces.

Sometimes the death makes everything feel so silent. Our child's friend died. They used to talk everyday. Our partner died. We used to talk for hours everyday. Our parent died. We used to talk multiple times a day. The silence of their physical absence can be deafening. What can you do? IDEA: Talk to them anyway!!! Take a walk out on a trail and in the quiet of nature, talk, out loud, to them. Stand in your kitchen and talk to them. Visit their grave and talk. Have their ashes at home? Talk to the ashes! OR if talking out loud just feels too weird, write. Write letters. Send emails to them if their email account is still active. Post messages to them if their Facebook account is still active. The conversation doesn't end. It changes form. But it doesn't end. And you continue exercising your ability to speak so that when you meet up with another living soul who wants to talk, you are able to talk with them, too.

It is all about the "AND". Exercise your right to the "AND". Don't let anyone "should" on you.

Once I can get myself unpacked out of boxes and get my energy restored after all that was zapped in our transition to move back home, I will come up with a community offering. Maybe a workshop on "the big book of grief rules," and if any of you would like to come together there to explore this more together, then we can do that. In the meantime, give yourself permission to grieve AND love -- to have your knowing of life AND death. Embrace your "AND"!!
Miracles,
k-

Realign the stars...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 09:41:00 +0000

Not much for words. Just lots of course correcting. Or maybe a realigning of the stars. And doing (or just being) in all the ways that are of ease, beauty, and LIGHT.
Miracles,
k-

8 Creative Prompts: What happens when we actually look at our experiences of grief and love?

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 06:34:00 +0000

Sharing a smattering of creative graphics I've created recently while wearing my various hats as heARTist (MotherHenna.com), as radical explorer (GriefAndCreativity.com), and as creative grief educator (GriefCoachingCertification.com). Offering each of them as a little creative prompt for you to consider what happens when you actually look at (as opposed to avoid, numb, try to work around) your experiences of grief and love. I know we often are willing to look at love experience but will avoid the grief stuff because we are afraid it will overwhelm us. From my experience, (admittedly a subjective view that is all my own), what is actually overwhelming is the amount of energy it takes to try and pretend we are not grieving.

Hence, your first creative prompt (see image that starts this post): Life is messy. Death always comes too quickly -- for us and for those we love. So why waste time and energy in denial. You have permission to play NOW. Play with grief. What if you didn't fight grief? What if you didn't slay the dragon? What if you danced with grief? What if you played chess with the dragon? There are so many other options besides the violent options of fighting and slaying. Take your grief to the playground and see what happens!

Second Creative Prompt:
Grief and love have their own time table.

When the intense dark feelings come, something inside most of us wants to resist it. We over work, over eat, over indulge in the effort to keep the dark at bay. But what if we just sat with the dark and allowed it to have its own time table. When Buddhist monks sit to meditate, they don't expect enlightenment to come on some sort of schedule. They just sit and help their bodies and minds stop resisting the mere act of sitting. When you meet the love of your life, but he or she isn't ready yet, you can't force things. You allow love to unfold and savor every moment. What if we allowed grief its own time table, too? What if we use our creative agency to sit still with grief and let it wave through? The most interesting thing usually happens then: the grief and dark wave through and suddenly there is space for the heavy stuff to lift and for us to find ourselves at home in our bodies again. What happens if you just sit still with grief?

Third Creative Prompt:
It is often something other than grief that trips us up...

Have you ever noticed that when you really pay attention to your grief experience, it often isn't grief itself that has you tripped up? It is the stuff of "time to get over it" and "are you feeling better yet" that gets imposed from the outside that trips us. It is the stuff of "what's wrong with me" and "it's all my fault" that gets imposed internally that trips us. It is the stuff of "I'll just have one drink after work" and "I'll just take a sleeping pill tonight" that trips us. If we were to resolve the shame that comes when other impose on us; if we were to resolve the guilt that we impose on ourselves; and if we were to face grief instead of trying to numb out of fear... Can you see what I mean here? It is all the stuff *around* grief, but not necessarily grief itself that is stumbling and bumbling us. What if you were to imagine your path as blocked by movable blocks that say "shame" or "guilt" or "numbing agents" or whatever is in your way? Imagine moving them out of the way. What happens as you move each one? What do you see when your path is clear?

Fourth Creative Prompt:
Grief doesn't happen in a vacuum...

Some folks like to think that grief is personal and private and we, alone, individually, solo have to figure it all out. But grief really isn't private and personal. Now I'm not advocating co-dependency or anything, but the truth is that we are all inter-dependent. Grief comes and affects who we thought we were, how we move in the world, our priorities for social life, career, family development. Grief is systemic. Think of grief as a community. If grief were a community, what would the houses look like? What would the streets be paved with? Imagine grief and love are a community. When grief's house begins to fall down, what does love do? Play with that metaphor. Build out the characters of your community. How would you stage them? What happens when they interact? Do the metaphors tell you anything about how your real life, community experience of grief and love is working? Is not working? Could be changed?

Fifth Creative Prompt:
Re-creating life after death...

Many bereaved parents will tell you that there is a demarcation in the timeline of their lives. There is their pre-death life and self and their post-death life and self. After your child dies and you've buried him, you can't help but ponder the meaning of motherhood. I would venture to say any loss that impacts our life makes a notch in the timeline, and we find ourselves re-defining self, role, life. Had a house, a mortgage, furniture? Hit bad times, lose the job, lose the house and all that went with it. It takes a lot of creativity to go from home dweller to now re-defining your experience as a homeless one. Had a job you loved, paid well, with people who respect and valued you? The top management leaves, you find yourself being treated like someone's secretary, and there isn't enough money on the planet to make up for it? It takes a lot of creativity to go from on-the-path to wow-on-the-wrong-road! So give yourself time, space, ease to re-start, to look for new connections. Make a game of connect the dots for yourself. Start at the first dot, connected to nothing. Look around and what other dots are out there that might mean something now? Name them. See where they are. Draw a line from where you are to where that new dot is...let the metaphor inform the new connections you need and want to make now as your reconnect to the world at large after a loss.

Sixth Creative Prompt:
Your heart is infinite.

Loss comes and we feel our heart shrink down and fracture with hurt. Grief scares us into thinking that our heart is broken and will never be fixed because we suddenly see that where there is love, there will always be loss. But sit quietly and vision your heart now. Imagine it growing (much the way the Grinch's heart grew!). Let it be infinite. Watch it grow outside your body, surrounding you, filling the room in which you sit, engulfing the building, the street, the whole neighborhood, the state, the country, the sky, so big that you are now in outer space surrounding the whole entire planet with your heart. With all the chaos and breaking and loss, your heart still loves. Even with your heart broken...see that it is broken OPEN and how much love spills forth from it. When grief comes and scares you, sit with it and surround it with your heart. Watch what happens. Pay attention.

Seventh Creative Prompt:
Go outside.

When you are at wit's end, go outside. Let your body take in the physical sensation of air, land, sky, water. I'm not suggesting you go out to the mall or some crowded, over chaotic place. But outside, in some space where you have a bit of physical room, psychic room, thinking space, room to breathe. Talk to the insects and animals you encounter. Listen to hear what the grey sky has to say to you. Let the wind write on your skin. Pay attention to what happens.

Eighth Creative Prompt:
Make a plan...

This last creative prompt might seem counter intuitive. After grief and loss visit us, we know how foolish it is to make plans. Grief and loss will always mess with whatever we think is definite, planned, solid. But in the face of it, I say make a bold plan anyway!! Get out a big piece of cardboard and make a big display or protest type sign that outlines your plan and hold it up to the sky in declaration. Take an empty cork board and fill it with visuals, colorful and beautiful, to illustrate your plan. Make sure your plan allows you time to cry and laugh in equal measure...to sleep and play...to scream and sign. There are room for all the possible dichotomies to play out in your plan. Embrace it all!

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Okay, hope that is inspiring and helpful, even if in some small way. Take the time to actually look at grief and love and be present with your experiences. Suspend the judgement about one experience being good and the other bad. Allow them all to be embraced and loved and tended. Just experiment with that and see what happens.
Miracles,
k-

Applications re-opened just for this weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 04:43:00 +0000

We have a couple last minute spots in the Feb Creative Grief Coaching Course that starts on the 12th. We've opened applications back up for this weekend if anyone is interested last minute. You have till Sunday 11:59pm to apply. Then Cath and I will consider apps on Monday and get back to everyone asap. Just FYI y'all! Details in eNews linked here! ♥

We are all part of the tribe, living or dead...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:37:00 +0000

If you missed the live call earlier this month, and you’d like to learn more about the core values of what we are doing over at The Creative Grief Coaching Studio, click here to download the free MP3 session on “Grief 101".

And we have a few more spots open for the next session of Grief Coaching Certification that starts 12 Feb 2013. See the video, details, and link to application over at the Creative Grief Studio.

Getting creative on how and why we re-visit grief experiences...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:08:00 +0000

Join us over at the Creative Grief Coaching Studio on 15 Jan for an open call on "Grief 101" where we'll be chatting about ideas like the one shared here and many others!

We have a few more spots open for the next session of Grief Coaching Certification that starts Feb 2013. See the video, details, and link to application over at the Creative Grief Studio.

Give yourself...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 15:52:00 +0000

a perfect holiday gift...

click the image to see full size...
Miracles,
k-

Kindnesses and other simple ways to re-member those you love who have died

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 01:50:00 +0000

Holiday season comes and I always have a spark that wants to buy or make toys for kids. We get to do that some for our living grandbabies. But I also stand in the toy aisles and wonder what our dead boys would want this year. Today 12/12/12 is also my goddaughter Erin's birthday, and she'd have been 24 this year. So I found myself wanting to do something in her name, too. I have another Kindness I'll be doing for her tomorrow, but in the meantime, today, I walked into the grocery and saw the Toys For Tots bin. And then I came upon these adorable Sock Monkeys!! How could I pass that up?? I could not. So in my cart, with the pineapples they went. Then swoosh swoosh thru check out, and then right into Toys For Tots bin. So glad all three kids will be remembered forward.

At this time of year, I get many notes and have conversations with people about how hard it is to be without their children who have died. I also hear from the people who love these bereaved parents, asking how best to support everyone through the holidays. It's hard to find a prescribed answer since everyone is different, but there are a few very simple things you can do if you are bereaved yourself or if you are a family member or friend wanting to support bereaved parents. See if any of these feel like a right fit for you and yours:

Gift giving that includes both the living and the dead. If you are buying gifts for living children in the family, also make a donation or give gifts in the name of the loved ones who have died.

Making ornaments for a tree that have names and birthdates of the living children? Then also make ornaments with names and birthdates of those who have died.

Sending holiday cards? If you are a bereaved parent sending cards, sign the card with names of all the living and a line that says something like, "...and in memory of [name here]...". If you are sending a card to a bereaved parent, include something in your note to say, "Thinking of you and yours...including remembering [name here]...".

Lighting candles to set a holiday scene? Add a few candles in memorial glass on which you can write the names of all you are remembering.

Be willing to just talk and listen about what is really happening for you or your friend/loved one. Celebration doesn't happen to the exclusion of grief or longing or missing the children who have died. If you are a friend or family member of a bereaved parent, be willing to just be present and listen. Don't be afraid to say the child's name. If you are a bereaved parent yourself, seek out that friend or family member who is willing to be present and listen to you say your child's name and to talk about your child themselves.

Going to holiday services? Look also for Blue Christmas services or memorial candle lighting services in your area, too. You can go to holiday celebration services *and* attended meaningful services that actually address the grief and re-member-ing process you are going through at the same time.

Those are just a few quick ideas off the top of my head. I'm sure you have found your own traditions and rituals that work for you to honor *both* celebration *and* remembering. Please feel free to leave comment and tell us your ideas and/or share your blog posts on this topic, too!

Miracles,
k-

In a theme...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 16:22:00 +0000

Nothing to offer in words today. Just the theme of cairns in image.
Miracles,
k-

Creative Prompt: full expression for the season...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 23:12:00 +0000

Click on image to see it full size...

The holidays and grief experiences are not mutually exclusive. You have every right to stop wearing a mask pretending it is a Hallmark Holiday. You have permission to BOTH celebrate and remember. You have the response-ability to be true to yourself, to exercise your full range of emotional skills by allowing yourself to feel what you feel and tend everything from desire to dance to a need for quiet space. By giving this gift to yourself, you also model and give permission to everyone else in your life to practice their emotional intelligence, too! Take gentle care, Lovies!

If you need more than the prompting in the image included in this post, here are a few:

Miracles,
k-

Art is made of non-art elements...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 14:34:00 +0000

I'm wrestling these days with the Buddhist idea of: Being is made up of Non-Being. I wrote some about it in a letter to the boys today. It's the idea of using clay to make a pot, but it's the space inside that holds whatever is precious to us.

For a long time, I've talked about art and creativity. My thinking was that art and creativity are made up of art and creativity. But this Buddhist view askew actually presents the idea that art is made up of non-art elements. Stop talking about it and do whatever action you do and art will bloom from it without talking about anything.

Something in there about all the things I want for my art. And then hearing in dharma talk that 1) I is not a Being, but rather made up of non-being elements and 2) Want is not the manifestation but rather just the grasping of want and desire.

My friend Lynndee put an interesting idea to me recently. I was bemoaning the fact that, here I am all these years later, and I still don't know anything about how to license my art and don't understand the process behind it and blah blah. Lynndee stopped me and asked, "What if it isn't about this thing you perceive as difficult knowledge and path? What if this is simply about allowing yourself to work with people who love you and love your art and want to work with you to make your ideas happen? What if this isn't about you doing all that other stuff? What if this is about you taking the action of being heART-full and allowing love to unfold from that?"

???? What ????

I don't know about you, but in my art life, no one, *NO* *ONE*, has ever given me permission to be the artist and then allow people who love me and love my art to work with me doing what they do best, too. Rather, I've been ingrained with having to do it yourself; with the evils of co-dependency; with the effort it takes to make things happen.

No answers or real conclusions yet. This is all still stewing. And maybe *that* is actually the bigger picture. There is no end-game (except death maybe). But rather, it is all just about allowing each day to stew and brew and cultivate yourself a lovely cuppa tea. :)

Here's to being in heART and love...teacup or paint brush in hand!
Miracles,
k-

Still life with love...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 05:26:00 +0000

No words. Again. Finding it hard to navigate, language wise. So just a still life of love for you today. Enjoy.
Miracles,
k-

Speak it, see it, be it, live it...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Doodle love. Hear love in the conversation. Speak love in return. Witness blooms of love. Stay in love. All the chaos and mess will unfold as it unfolds, and okay, fine. Let it. You just stay in love and love and love. Create love. Give love. Receive love. Hold love. Decorate love. Wear love. Put on the high heels or the hiking boots of love. Blush love. Eat love. Drink love. Cook up love. Dance love. Stomp in the puddles of love.

Go crazy with love.
It's better than going crazy with evil or loneliness or some other alternative. Become a whirling dervish of love and love and love and love and love and love and love and love. Bloat your berserker head with love, even when everyone around you chooses segregation, independence, separateness, compartmentalization, or whatever other label they choose. Breathe in the helium of love and let it make your voice sing funny and let your whole body giggle with it.

Fly your freak flag of love.
Miracles,
k-

More sketches than words...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 09:43:00 +0000

More sketches than words today. Maybe it is the "holiday" season. Maybe it is just my own clinging to the idea that the world and life-in-general woulda/coulda/shoulda made some sense by now. Maybe it is the constant dichotomy of being human. People I love and respect. People who are educated and have had their fair share of life experiences. People who normally call for peace and unity and are on the side of humanity.

Now I see them advocating for things like Buddha Sanga for People of Color only. No whites allowed. When did we become what we were fighting against? When did segregation become the way of Buddhism? There are monks being excommunicated out of sects because they are fighting to give full ordination to the women, the nuns who study with them. Now, on the heels of that, we are going to start segregating based on race? I don't get it.

Then, there are the others I see advocating for one side or the other between Israel and Palestine. As if the dead 11 year old child on one side is worth more than the dead 11 year old child on the other side. When did the children of either side become worth more than the others?

I see others, in the name of being a coach, imposing answers upon those seeking support. Since when did coaching become about being *the* expert with *the* answers instead of facilitating and supporting the other person's journey and curiosity so they find their own answers?

I don't understand it all. I know that is my own clinging to the thought that it should make sense, that there should be fairness and justice, that there is some understanding to be had. I know that my only possible attempt at answers in any of those things is to be my own practice of being alive.

To attended and create Sanga that includes ALL.
To send Reiki and blessings to ALL in Israel/Palestine.
To value ALL children's lives, whatever their ethnicity, class, education, race, orientation, anything.
To keep offering my services and teaching other coaches to offer services that help foster curiosity and creativity instead of "expertise" and canned answers.
To keep conscious of the fact that I'm human, too, and ultimately, I know no more or less than anyone else. I have as much of a limited experience in this body bag of mostly water than any other spirit on this human experience is having.
To keep conscious of the fact that meditation in silence means much more than any words I can cluster together from my keyboard.

So with the realization that I must learn to simply live with these dichotomies of being alive, I offer today just a series of sketches. I have no answers.

Miracles,

Treasures are the things right in front of us...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Sometimes when we feel the most bummed, the most stuck and down about ... well, everything ... we can find a handy creative tool right in front of us if we will only look and see.

I sat in my studio the other day, just stewing and brewing. Pretty much it was stewing and brewing over things which are absolutely out of my control. The us vs. them of American politics. The resulting racism that has (re)surfaced because people really believe that hate is okay if you don't agree with this policy or that policy and call it a threat to freedom. The senselessness of who gets to live and who dies. A tender, innocent, beautiful young child. Dead. While a racist, homophobic lives on to randomly do violence as he sees fit, in that name of what he justifies as "right." The absurdity of how people with more money got help first in the aftermath of the East Coast storms, while the people with less money were told to expect to be without...without...without...

It's beyond ridiculous. It's beyond anything I can reasonably make sense of when I sit in the stew and brew.

And then as I sat there, something caught my eye.

The sun through the window changed angle and glinted off the glass jar I use to hold my paint brushes and knives. And I began staring at the light. As the light changed and moved, I began to notice the creative tools in the jar. I became conscious of the fact that the jar is overflowing with creative possibility. This little glass jar, glittering with sky light, is full of treasure. It is abundant. Full of peaceful possibility. Of course there is equal possibility for the gems in this treasure to be used to create evil, too.

But that was even more miraculous to me. Here was this abundance of beauty and tools. All available for use. And it is my choice, moment by moment, paint stroke by paint stroke, if I put them to use for good or evil.

For some reason, this struck me as incredibly hopeful. If I could come to a place to see the abundance of tools at my fingertips -- and then come to see that the good or evil resulting from their use is up to me -- well, anyone could have the same epiphany, too! Right? Either with their own process of learning and slowing down and waking up OR through some process of learning meditation or mindful presence or something with others.

I'm not saying that this fixes the unfairness of a child dying while a violent numskull lives. But it might be a turning point for the bereaved person left behind after the child's death. Or who knows? It might be that the violent numskull gets caught in his racist crime and is thrown in a jail where mindfulness teachers offer meditation as part of rehabilitation.

I'm not saying that this epiphany fixes the classism that plays out in the world where the poor are helped last or least. But working with the abundance of whatever is present certainly seems to have helped break open new ideas in Africa where four teen girls have invented a generator that is powered by urine! Or the teenagers in Nepal who invented a solar panel that uses human hair (from a hair brush) instead of silicon!

I'm just saying that it is *possible* that anyone, anywhere, whatever has come before, there is always the possibility that their hearts might open to sitting still. To opening their mind and heart to release the chaos of thoughts long enough to notice some small bit of beauty and abundance that is right in front of them. Pema Chodron says it much better than I ever could:

OUR WHOLE LIFE COULD BE A RITUAL

"We could learn to stop when the sun goes down and when the sun comes up. We could learn to listen to the wind; we could learn to notice that it’s raining or snowing or hailing or calm. We could reconnect with the weather that is ourselves, and we could realize that it’s sad. The sadder it is, and the vaster it is, the more our heart opens. We can stop thinking that good practice is when it’s smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it’s rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea."

~Pema Chodron, Wisdom of No Escape

Miracles,
k-

Amid violence, she heartaches for peace...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

There is so much violence in our human world experiences. Not just the violence of our personal losses where we feel our hearts ripped open after burying child or parent; divorcing one who was once beloved; losing house, job, custody of children. Whatever our personal losses are. But it is not just these. It is the every single day human stuff of watching wars unfold. Watching a president be elected only to have the racists come out of the woodwork talking about what violence they want to see in response. Watching one news story after another about this murder or that kidnapping. Watching the world of factory farming unfold before your eyes as you research and *seeing* for the first time how violently the animals you eat are treated in the lead up to their deaths. And yet... amid all the continued, relentless violence, my heart continues to ache for peace, seek non-violence, reach for the vision of a space that is NOT this violence.

There are lots of approaches to waking up to this. You can just stick your head in the stand and la-la your way through your own blessings, giving thanks under your breath constantly in the hope it never touches you. You can meditate on suffering and practice Tonglen to transform the suffering into compassion. This builds, not only a compassionate energy, but also builds your own emotional tolerance for sitting with suffering. You can explore the various ideas behind Metta Meditation which is about radiating out a loving-kindness -- first to your own woundedness and then out to others. You can practice The Work which basically tells you the suffering is none of your business and that you can change the world by changing your thoughts. You can study non-violent communications and take part in non-violent protests. And those are just a few of your options.

+++

For me, it is when I don't honor my own slow pace -- when I allow the relentlessness of the world to impose itself upon me -- *that* is when I once again begin to feel victim to it all. It seems that the older I get, the more and more conscious I'm getting about the fact that my KEY to being in the space of peace (heart-aching or heart-opening peace), *is* to slow the *&%$ down. Just slow down.

Sometimes that means doing things that seem scary, like possibly disappointing people. For instance, at the beginning of this week, I got about half way through my Monday and felt death and violence all around me. And the emails kept coming and phone rang or dinged relentlessly and the questions were never-ending. And I was about to implode into a little pile of ashes.

At that point, I remembered something that Barbara Sher shares in her book "Life The Life You Love" about "the smallest possible unit." Sher presents this as the idea that you are not currently living a life you love, but you are overwhelmed by the idea of living the life you love. So rather than try for the overwhelming thing, break things down to the smallest possible unit and do just that. She's even so wonderfully liberal with the idea that she suggests, even if the smallest possible unit freaks us out, then to make our smallest possible unit a conscious REFUSAL to do anything. Not a guilty and shamed non-action out of fear. But an active, conscious choice to do the smallest possible unit of refusing to do anything. She's brilliant.

My interpretation of this idea goes something like this: when I feel myself about to implode, I step back and figure out what is the smallest possible unit of "doing" that I can do, so that everything slooooows down. So I took out a piece of paper and wrote at the top, "Smallest Possible Unit," and then I stepped through this breakdown:

go back to bed
sleep for days
be left alone for days
to only haunt the world at night when no one else is awake
refuse to get out of bed
cancel or reschedule as much as you can

As soon as I wrote out the last one, my whole body collapsed on the inside and screamed, "Yes! Yes! Gawd, Yes! Please cancel or reschedule as much as you can to slow this week down!!! Pah-leeeze!"

Well, geesh, that is so easy. That is so *not* scary. (Whereas the idea of crawling into bed for a week seemed scary because I'd really have to give up a lot to make that happen -- not that I wouldn't/haven't done that at some points, too!) But to just rearrange schedule is so nurturing. So I immediately opened my calendar and looked at all the possible things that could be canceled or rescheduled and set about doing just that. An hour or so later, I had opened up a great deal of space in my week with pretty much everyone getting it entirely and being so gracious about it. One person even thanked me for rearranging because she herself needed some space but was afraid to ask for it.

+++

Now, I'm not saying this brings peace to war torn places. I'm not saying that this will fix world hunger. I'm not saying that this will liberate any racist from ignorant thinking. BUT it is a way of bringing peace to the space I *can* affect. It is a way of opening enough time and space in my heart, mind, and day to realize that I was feeling called to donate somehow to the disaster clean up back East and find a way to do just that. And that was something real for helping traumatized people re-member the scattered pieces. It is a way of opening enough time in my days to actually cook or juice so that I can commit to another week as a vegetarian/vegan and not have any other animals killed for me.

The bigger idea, of course, is that, if we ourselves model this kind of thing, then it gives others permission to do the same in their lives. If we all set ourselves up for peace, then there is at least a possibility of peace going viral.

As Einstein said:

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

We have to begin *somewhere* and in some small ways to do some different thinking, to take some differently informed action than what got us into the problems in the first place. It is often overwhelming to think about how to change the world. So as Barb Sher would say, just start with the smallest possible unit.

Allow yourself to keep heart-aching for peace, even amid the violence. Even just the heart-aching is one of the smallest possible units toward the bigger vision of peace. Do your piece of peace. And let that be a model for others to do the same. Be part of the puzzle peace.

Miracles,
k-

Oooooh, my pace is slow...in other words, BREATHE!

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 11:08:00 +0000

There are a lot of different methods for waking up to the ways you habitually run and then finally have a choice to make changes. You can meditate to practice your capacity for being mindful in all things. You can notice where something uncomfortable comes up and use The Work to question the thoughts about the discomfort. You can note and name those moments Difficult World ala Julia Rogers Hamrick's work. I'm the worst student when it comes to being disciplined, picking one path, and diving in completely. So for me, it's always a mix and match of things that are at play with my attempts to wake up each day.

On this day, it was in a quiet meditation that the thought floated to the surface saying, "You can't keep up anymore." I simply labeled it and let it go. Later as I was doing my social media posting for the day, I saw a post from a yoga teacher talking about how she had simply decided she would go slow from now on and would live with the consequences of that decision. As the day progressed, something began to rise in me more and more. A sort of quiet panic, a lurking anxiety about being behind, living with consequences. And then suddenly, a voice struck in my brain, booming, "All that is Difficult World! Step into Easy World! What does it look and feel like there?"

I stopped what I was doing and did a few moments of conscious, mindful BREATHING BREATHING. When the booming stopped, I sat and considered why the idea of consequences raised so much anxiety and shot me into Difficult World. For me, the very word consequences just carries with it ideas like punitive, punishment, loss, disappointment. So I began considering what the consequences would actually be to admitting to myself that I can't keep up the pace I used to keep up...what would actually happen if I CHOSE to slow down.

At this point, I sat with Hawk for a bit and told him what I'd been floating around in my head and heart on this, and he said something interesting. He said that actually I'm slow *in-between* things, but my pace once I do something is incredibly quick still. That made me ponder.

+++

You see, when I was young, I used to write a great deal of poetry. I had friends who wrote also, but many of them wrote and ended up with sheets of paper marked and noted the way you'd see in Emily Dickinson's collection. Words crossed out. Substitution ideas written above, below, and in the margins. But when I would sit to write or type, the pieces would fall from my fingertips. I'd sit down in a 90 minute workshop, get a prompt, write a piece, and share it. Friends would remark that it often seemed a very finished piece. My revisions were not major -- unless I'd had trouble getting it down on paper in the first place. But when the pieces fell from finger tips, they were pretty much done.

What I realized later in talking with one of my creative professors was that I would walk around all day long percolating a piece. Random lines going around my head. Hearing bits of passing conversations and picking up words. Some piece of something I was wanting to say, playing in my head a million different ways. Then I'd get to the evening session of the creative course, the professor would give some prompt, and within that 90 minutes, I had what seemed like a finished piece. No edits necessary.

BUT BUT BUT ****I had been doing the edits in my head allllllll day loooooong**** before sitting to put it to paper. It almost didn't matter what the prompt was the professor would give. One way or another, I'd make the prompt fit whatever had been stewing in me all day long.

+++

In reflecting on that, I realized that Hawk was right about my being slow *in-between* things, but once I get to something, my pace is more fall-from-the-fingertips. I think this writing process I discovered about myself back in college is actually a model or metaphor for how I do everything. (Not surprising since I do teach my creative students a version of Martha Beck's idea that how we do one thing is how we do everything!) But I hadn't been very conscious of this, and rather, I had been letting an undertone of anxiety play out about there being consequences to choosing a slower pace.

Stepping into Easy World on this was incredibly helpful. One of the things Hamrick writes about in her work is the idea that there is a Design For Harmony. That we may not understand it...our harmony may not look like harmony as defined by another...but we will FEEL that we are in the stream of that harmony when we allow ourselves to step into Easy World. So how could I do that here?

Well, I could just step into allowing whatever pace I need at whatever stage I find myself. Resting, the in-between gearing-up stage, the just after something stage -- all these are spaces where I am slow. Slow to wake. Slow to sleep. Slow in the kitchen. Slow when I meditate. Slow to want to socialize. Slow to recover and find balance after social events. Slow. I LIKE IT THAT WAY!

And I like it when the last piece clicks into place and things begin to fall from my finger tips, too. But neither space/stage is better or worse than the other. They each have their role in my unfolding being.

And consequences? Well, stepping into Easy World tells me that consequences are not punitive *even if my previous life condition would classify them as punitive*! Easy World says that whatever happens when I stay in my Design For Harmony *is just another part* of the Design For Harmony. So someone gets mad at me because I'm slow? Oh well. That anger is theirs, and maybe it tells me that my harmony flows better with some distance between me and them. I lose or get fired from one of the five million hats I wear to make the ends meet? Oh well. The loss of my help or contribution is their loss, and it tells me that that particular hat didn't really fit so well and now there is more room for one of the other hats that fits very well.

+++

The other "get conscious" piece of this is to come to an awakening about why those kinds of things feel punitive. Here's the really interesting thing. It's tied up -- yes, you guessed it -- with grief. Specifically the deaths of my sons. So much felt lost and out of control there. So *ANY* loss after that gets confounded and confused and touches a spark on the nerve of death, loss, losing everything. Much as I've done with their deaths, it is all a process of sitting with the groundlessness of it all. I had to find a way to sit with the "without-ness" of our lives after their deaths. I spent a lot of time building my emotional tolerance for being with that abyss that stood between what I had wanted and what IS.

So I had to wake up to the fact that any consequence that came from my choice to allow myself to be slow -- well, it just does feel like the abyss again. But it is NOT the abyss again. It *feels* like it. But it is not.

Staying awake to that is the trick. Allowing things to rise, getting myself to name and see them, and then giving myself permission to let go. To step into Easy World. To let it all be part of Easy World. To turn my head askew and see how, whatever happens, it is all part of the Design For Harmony.

+++

So, yep. I can't keep up the old pace anymore. Yep, I move slow "in-between" things. And a day will come when, even when I get to the pieces being pulled together, even then, I will be slow. There is a great deal of peace in that -- if only we allow for it.

Maybe the greatest gift in it, too: when you move more slowly than the impatient world, you actually get to SEE all that is unfolding around you. Enjoy it. Take it in as if you are spending time fully taking in a beautiful piece of artwork at a museum. This is your artwork. Your heART-work. Live it. Take the time you need to be really present. It is worth so much more than anything your lurking subconscious might be trying to pass off as punitive or loss. I personally gain sooooooo much more than I can ever lose.

Sending slow and awake vibes to you all!
Miracles,
k-

Releasing wrong, negative, ugly...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Everyone's grief experience is going to be so individual that I just have never been able to understand *how* people think it is okay to tell others what is right, healthy, productive as they move through the experiences?! By people, I mean, anyone a.n.y.o.n.e...friends, family, caregivers, strangers, anyone. The best any of us can really do is *meet people where they are in the moment* and BE with them. As creative beings, we can of course share ideas and metaphors and inspirational materials and let others pick what speaks to them. But other than that, and we end up imposing our belief of what is right, healthy, and productive on the other person. And when someone is being crushed by grief, *that* judgement is the least helpful thing on the planet.

So you know, fine, do all the evidence based whatever you want to do. Come up with as many 6 point plans for coaching people to health as you wish. If you like Gestalt, then by all means, jump in head first, steep yourself in it, learn and develop yourself in it, and share your experiences and tools with others.

BUT the point at which you take those things and begin telling other people that *that way* is *the way* or the *only* way or the *right* way -- there, you lose me entirely. Who made you G-d? How do you know? You don't! So stop trying to call yourself an expert in the name of hefting judgement (and consequently, possibly, guilt and shame) on the bereaved person.

I'm not saying that it isn't helpful to learn and *experience* as much as you can yourself, working through your own grief stuff, in the aim of becoming better able to be present with others who are grieving. That's all, right on the nose. But don't mistake your education and experience for knowing better than the person you are going to be sitting with eventually. Know -- keep solidly in mind, heart, soul, being -- that all your education and experience is YOURS and can help you be compassionate, but none of it is *the* answer to *all* things *everyone else* experiences.

Hierarchy is bull. That goes for government, society, class, race, whatever...and it especially goes for grief. If people are grieving and come to you, be gracious, not hierarchical. Be present, not expert. Be curious, instead of focused on a check list. The space between you and the other person is sacred...honor that. And allow the grieving person themselves to tell you how things are unfolding, see the beauty in the rage, witness the gems in the negative, sit with them with whatever they are facing instead of trying to convince them to let it go. They may come to that themselves eventually anyway, but let them lead you there.

Just drop the hierarchical stuff. Drop it. It doesn't work. It's bull. Try cooperation, interdependence, connection. You might be surprised.
Miracles,
k-

Creative Prompt: An open invitation...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Today's prompt is an open invitation...do what you need to do now, but keep the invitation open...

Miracles,
k-

Creative Prompt: go outside and listen.

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Really.

That's it.

Just go outside, rain, shine, hot, cold, whatever.

And listen for a while.

Pay attention to the sounds of nature or the city or whatever is around you.

Don't open your mouth.

Don't let your mind distract you with visions, to-do's, or regrets.

Stay silent and listen.

If your mind won't shut up, then in your head, silently name the things you hear as you hear them.

Bird chirp.

Car going by.

Grasshopper buzzing.

Prayer flag in the wind.

But don't let your mind name anything other than what you hear in the present moment.

Silent.

Mouth shut.

Listen.

Name (if you must, in order to keep the mind shut up, too).

Done.

Do it for 5 minutes at least.

Repeat again tomorrow.

Any day you can take more time like 10, 20 or 30 minutes, DO IT.

Miracles,
k-

Grief & Creativity Class for Day of the Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

It was such an honor to be part of the Dead of the Dead Celebration with Melissa aka SpiritGoddess! For Day 2 of the event, Melissa shared my free Grief & Creativity video class, done in the form of a q&a. She's also shared links to my how-to's for making an ofrenda and making your own sugar skulls. You'll also find a link to our free Day of the Dead heART eBook there, too.

Click here to see Day 2 of the event.
From there, you can also get to the links for the other Days, the gallery of ofrendas, and more. Enjoy!

Miracles,
k-

Creative Prompt: Finding & Keeping Inspiration...

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Grief knocks many things for a loop, including our sense of what inspires us. Today's prompt is for rediscovering, finding, keeping inspiration.

Miracles,
k-

Sharing for a virtual memorial celebration...and isn't it morbid? No. It isn't.

noreply@blogger.com (Kara Chipoletti Jones) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 07:00:00 +0000

For the next week, Melissa over at SpiritGoddess is hosting Virtual Memorial Celebration for Day of the Dead and All Souls Day. It's free to participate and easy to sign up for it by clicking here. Each day she'll be mailing out a special eNews with links to interviews, MP3s, free give-aways, ideas and resources. Plus she's hosting space for sharing your ofrenda (offerings/altar) as part of a community gallery. It was wonderful to have the chance to chat with her about grief & creativity, day of the dead, and more. And for Day 2 of the event today, Melissa will be sharing our interview, so surf on over and join the fun.

+++

So I had someone ask me how this kind of thing is a celebration when it seemed, to them, to be morbid or stuck in the past. That's an interesting perspective. And I would guess that if you have been lucky enough to not yet face the death of someone you love dearly, then you may not have perspective or need to understand the continuation of a relationship beyond physical death. Or you may be part of spiritual belief system or family system or just your own way of moving in the world, that lets you feel you don't need or want any continuation of relationship beyond the physical. That's fine. No one is forcing anyone to honor the dead!

But for those who do feel the continuation of relationship beyond the physical, this kind of celebration and ritual is not morbid or stuck anywhere. In fact, this kind of celebration and ritual is about connection and re-connection. This type of creative expression is about starting off the holiday season in a way that includes the whole family tree. No branches cut off the tree. All branches -- those of the living and the dead in your family line -- *all* honored and remembered. Just like another person has a beloved great-grandmother who is dead now, but they love to invoke and remember her every holiday season by baking cookies from her recipes, so too, do I want to invoke my sons -- and my goddaughter now, too -- and all the kids -- who were here for too short a time period, who are still loved and remembered. Just for me personally, this is one of the ways I get to still express my connection to motherhood, to express my different kind of parenthood by tending their memories in all the ways I am no longer able to tend their bodies.

Yes, in the first few years after they died, this celebration and desire to express was also accompanied by hard feelings, deep grief, and lots of tears. In those days I was still wrestling with the fact that none of it was enough. What I truly wanted in my heart of hearts was for them to be alive and be here with me, in my arms. And I hated that I could not have what I wanted and was just doing the substitution things that I could do.

But today, and in the last few years, I've felt much different about this time of year. I truly feel a sense of celebration and love and connection. There are still some tears, but I don't feel the need to hide in my blanket house anymore. I actually like going out in public to events like the Day of the Dead event at Tlaquepaque where they are hosting a community mural and ofrenda. The whole town is invited to add painting to the mural and to bring photos, candles, flowers to add to the ofrenda. It is a connection to our very humanity via rituals that are colorful and creative.

In 2009, I had so much energy around this time of the year that we coordinated and hosted an international mail art trade were 20 heARTist made Day of the Dead themed artwork and traded with each other. We created a full color eBook of all the heART that is still available for free download on the fest page (click here to see that post). That was a huge connection that continues till this day because each year now, I take out my collection from the trade and create a new ofrenda, remembering my dead loved ones and remembering all the dead remembered by the other heARTists, too.

And though I didn't have time this year to create a new mail art trade, I'm excited to be connecting with new folks and re-connecting with favorite heARTists through the SpiritGoddess event Melissa is hosting! So welcome and here's to continuing our exploration of grief and creativity in community.

I've got creative prompts and graphics lined up for the coming week, so come on back and check in for a little inspiration each day. And I know Melissa is sharing our post on how to make sugar skulls, but I also wanted to share a little healthier, raw, edible skull truffle recipe I posted over on our juice blog the other day. For those who have sugar sensitivities, this raw alternative might be fun -- and it is definitely yummy!

Sending y'all love and Reiki and heART light for Days of the Dead!
Miracles,
k-