Motherhood and Me

Things I Can Control

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 06:00:11 PST

There are a lot of things in my life that I have no control over.

There are a lot of things in the world I have no control over.

There are times when I hate staying at home because I feel like I have lost myself, am not contributing to society, get bored and want to feel productive.

Then there are times when I LOVE staying at home because I feel loved, needed, appreciated, empowered.

Today is one of those days.

You all know that I have been trying to lose weight and eat healthier, but I never would have guessed a whole revolution would begin to take place within me and within my household.

I started researching vegetarian and vegan diets, reading books about food ethics, green living and thinking more about what kind of planet I am leaving my children.

I know, deep right? This from wanting to lose weight?

Absolutely.

Reading and learning about where my food comes from and how the choices I make literally effect the entire planet has been eye opening and empowering.

My whole life, food has meant something other than what it was suppose to be. It has been more confusing, something to "calculate", something to "avoid" and something to feel "guilty" about.

Then I had my doctors appointment and things needed to change. I started reading The Kind Diet and it moved me. It moved me to hear about connecting to the earth, your community, your body and nourishing yourself and the one body you were given.

I needed a revolution for my health, my appetite and my soul. So I have joined the cause and have started making changes in what kinds of food I buy and feed my family.

Funny enough, it feels great!

Here are some of the "revolutionary" changes that I have made over the past couple of weeks:

1. Replaced my husbands Diet Pepsi with all natural Ginger Ale

2. Hormone free, antibiotic free and humanely treated chicken eggs

3. Organic and low sugar applesauce

4. Fresh, organic, in season, local vegetables

5. Organic Soy yogurt

6. Flax Meal (thanks to Jessica for the knowledge of this)

7. Assorted nut butters; cashew, almond and peanut

8. Organic tofu; as a meat replacement

9. Water purifier

10. Greek Yogurt; less sugar and higher protein

11. Fresh, organic and in season fruits

12. Organic jam
13. Vegan Mayo substitute
14. Organic milk

15. Chocolate, organic soy milk

I have been trying so hard to not open any boxes, cans or packages, for my family that I am slowly starting to enjoy cooking. Alas right now all I know how to cook extremely well is stir fry, but come on, one step at a time right?

I would love to go full blown vegan, but don't know how to actual accomplish this in the real world. Everything is always very simple in your comfort zone, but what will I do when I meet friends for lunch, have play dates, etc?

I know there are people out there that do this full time, but for me, flirting is the way I think I will be going for awhile.

If you have any other food swaps that you can think of that I might have missed, fill me in. Plus, have some vegan recipes? I would love to try them. Let's link up if you have some and we can have "dinner" together one night.

I will try my best to keep you posted on this random vegan/vegetarian journey. I know I will have the enivetable #FAIL every now and then *ahem - McFlurry - ahem* but a cleaner, greener, more energized and less puffy Sue is what we are really looking for!

My very first conference!

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:24:39 PST

I was lucky enough to attend Bloggy Bootcamp in Baltimore this weekend with a friend of mine, Fadra, from all.things.fadra.

When I say, lucky enough, I mean, LUCKY.

This was the first time I had left my children over the weekend and the first time my husband was alone with either one of them, let alone both of them over night. It is not like he can't handle it; it is more like, I DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

I go lots of places WITH the kids, just never alone.

So when the chance to network, road trip with a friend and be without the kids came along, saying I jumped at the chance would be an understatement.

I. Had. The. Best. Time.

I was able to learn so much I didn't know about blogging, I was able to network with women that I have admired from afar and I was able to feel, for the first time, that I was more than just a stay-at-home-mom.

I love blogging.

I love the connections I have made because of it. I love the knowledge I have gained from learning social media, code and fine-tuning my writing.

I love hearing that my story has happened to someone else and that even though I feel like I am alone all day sometimes, I really am surrounded by others struggling just as much as I am.

I know some people don't understand "online friends", and I was one of them. However, since networking and meeting people through Twitter and blogging, I understand the community you feel when you reach out to people who share your same circumstance.

On top of all that, I was able to meet one of the bloggers that I really admire, Jill from Scary Mommy. I have always admired her writing, to hear her speak and to meet her, was just the break I needed. (Plus, she is SO nice, you would not believe!)

Besides networking and having a great time, I was able to learn more about general social media like Twitter and Facebook, SEO, the FTC, how to develop a relationship with brands and make yourself/ your blog more PR friendly.

* Kathy, Jill and Tiffany giving us all the much needed information

I left feeling empowered, energized, full of ideas and more satisfied with myself. (Didn't think you would give all that would ya' Tiffany?)

Plus, on top of that, I met some fabulous women, the kind that make you feel like you were separated at birth.

You know, your tribe.

Get to know them, get to know me and look out...I'm a coming!

Mayhem and Moxie

(My SF sista)

Love Feast

(You want her at your dinner table)

Desperately Seeking Silence

(OMG! I think we were meant to be sisters, or at least neighbors!)

The Budge Bunch

(So sweet and she doesn't even know it.)

Wordless Wednesday

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:32:53 PST

How Do I Love You?

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:00:13 PST

In our family we try really hard to make reading a priority. It doesn't always happen when we are tired and cranky (like tonight) but luckily we have made it an intergral part of our bedtime routine. 

We try to mix it up and get new books and books with good moral lessons and books that are more than just a story. 

There are tons on my list of favorite, but there is one in particular that melts my heart every time I read it.

How Do I Love You? by P.K. Hallian is a cute story that sums up the unconditional love a parent feels for their children. I have been stuck on this book lately because, as adorable as my children are, they have been pushing my buttons a lot right now.

If you are in the market for a new book, check this one out and share it with your little ones.

How Do I love you? 

Let me count the ways.

I love you on your very best and very worst of days.

I love to see you laughing and dancing in the rain.

Even when you lose your shoes, I love you just the same.

I love to hear you singing.

 I love to see you smile.

I love the way you take each day in your own unhurried style.

I'm happy when you're happy.

I'm sorry when you're sad.

Even though it may not show, I love you when you're bad.

How do I love you? 

Well, now, let me see.

I love the way you act so brave when you fall and hurt your knee.

I love to watch you sleeping, tucked away in pleasant dreams.

I love to hear you whisper all your giant plans and schemes.

I love the way you wear your pants with the front part in the back and the way you walk around sometimes with your head inside a sack.

I love to see you deep in thought.

I love to watch you play and though I'm sure you'll never know, I love you more each day.

How do I love you? 

It's impossible to say.

For if I had a million days and time enough for all the praise, I couldn't tell you all the ways...

I love you.

*Swoon* 

I hope you enjoy this book as much as I do.

(FYI: Not a paid endorsement, just my love and opinion.)

You Matter

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:18:49 PST

A friend came over for coffee the other day and I warned her beforehand that my house was a colossal mess.

For those that know me, when that statement is uttered, they usually don't believe me because I am such a clean freak.

Ummm, this time, it was true. I am in the process of reorganizing my entire upstairs (combining kids, painting, selling furniture, and the works) and my house looks like it could be on an episode of Hoarders.

Anyway...she walks in and sighs, "I am so glad to see your house messy."

This stuck with me for the rest of the day because it was a strong reminder that everyone struggles with balance.

I stress and stress so much over all the things I have to get done around the house that I feel like I am not a very good mother to my kids and that I have lost how to enjoy them.

Don't get me wrong, I am not ignoring them, but I get sucked into doing the dishes, the laundry, vacuuming, etc. that I realized that I don't ever just sit and play with my kids anymore.

Having two kids or as I like to call it in a post I am STILL working on, "1 + 1 = Zoloft: My descent into PPD", is hard. Finding balance with one kid is hard enough, but now with two there is more of a mess, more to prepare for, more to clean up, more chaos.

I was watching videos from my son's first birthday and I cried. We made the day so special and our home was filled with all our family and friends while we laughed and celebrated the birth of my baby boy. We watched him eat his cake, we sang to him and we were just plain thankful for having him in our lives.

Fast forward to my daughter's first birthday and you find an entirely different situation. Yes, we were sick, but no effort has been made to reschedule the celebration.

The mentality is different now. "Oh its okay, she is so little she doesn't know the difference." Yes, true, but I know the difference and I want to celebrate her.

I want to celebrate her, my son, find a balance to all the things I now have to juggle. Why is it that you want something so badly and when it happens you feel totally ill-equipped to do the job?

I am not seeking perfection, but merely a balance between together and off the deep end. Is that so much to ask?

As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a video that really helped mend my heart that day.

It is beautiful, moving and a nice reminder that, as my dad always says, "This too shall pass" and the job I am doing is amazing and one of the most important jobs anyone could ever have.

I know the balance I so desperately seek is somewhere deep down inside my heart and all I have to do when I feel it slipping away is close my eyes, take a deep breath, then look at my children and I will know it is there and always will be.

This video/essay is so wonderful and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Well, I didn't know that!

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:33:20 PST

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Melissa from Ask Miss Mommy! I hope you enjoy meeting her and maybe learn a thing or two about bargin shopping and how to make environmentally informed decisions for your baby and your home.

Don't forget to stop by her blog and leave her some love too!

*A special thanks to Melissa for being so patient with me this month. I was supposed to have her interview published by the 15th of this month, but with all the sickness drama it was pushed back until now. Thanks again Melissa and all my readers for understanding and being so patient!

Enjoy and see you next month!

1. When did you start blogging and why?

I started blogging in September 2007 mainly because I kept getting a lot of the same questions from my mommy friends and I wanted to document it. Not that I minded the questions – I loved them but I thought if they have these questions I bet a lot of other moms do too.

2. What is the overall theme of your blog?

It started off as purely a product review type blog. I really only talked about stuff I had tried out and what I thought of it or how to purchase things. Over time I found I got more out of it when I talk about the real life “stuff” that was going on with me.

3. I know you are interested in making “environmental informed choices” for your family; can you give us a couple of examples of how you have done that?

Hmm… well I really try hard to read labels and think about where things come from, do we need this (ie. What’s our environmental impact) and how to be budget savvy. Those are broad examples but one specific one would be: our recent move to no plastic bags. I use all (safe) reusable containers to store leftovers, open food items, etc. It was tough in the beginning and a bit pricy but I lucked out on a BPA free Tupperware type kit from Costco.

4. I started reading your blog early last year because Jessica turned me onto it and I just loved your “Who Am I post”. I really related to your emotion and how you were feeling. I am glad that you didn’t stop blogging because I was just getting to know you, but how have things smoothed out since then? Have you managed to streamline your vision of yourself and your online self?

I find the balance really challenging sometimes. I still have those moments where I think “I’m done, that’s it, I’m taking it down”. But more often than not it’s because I’m putting unrealistic expectations on myself or comparing myself to others as a way to measure success. There no way to find happiness or contentment that way. So… to answer that I think I’m still working on it and maybe I always will be but I’m happy where I am with blogging, etc. for now.

5. You have a weekly topic called Fine Motor Friday that you are passionate about; can you tell us what that is and how you came up with it?

Fine Motor Friday is all about fine motor development and often other things that go along with that. Fine motor skills refer to small muscle work – writing, cutting, coloring, and eating – and for children is a huge part of their day. When I used to work outside of the home as an occupational therapist (OT) I worked as a school based OT. I felt like I was losing a bit of that part of my identity and as Cate (my oldest) got older suddenly I could pull out my work stuff and use it. It was exciting!

I wanted to share with everyone fun things to do with their children and why they were important – how to make them fun and what underlying skills are being addressed as well. My overall goal was to incorporate more of myself in my blog and to add my unique contribution as a mommy and an OT.

6. I also really love all of the reviews you do on your site. I have more than once thought of you when researching a product and always love your input. How did you get into reviewing and do you have any advice for newbies out there looking to build relationships with companies?

My first product review that I received as a freebie was a nursing cover, soon after that was the Patemm Pad and on and on. I just started writing to companies telling them about myself and requesting products. I started randomly and then focused down to smaller items that fit my criteria (mommy/ baby focused, environmental friendly) then worked up to larger items. I get about 50% response rate to my emails. It takes a lot of time and I have slowed down a bit lately. I still love it and enjoy all the products I have had the opportunity to review.

I think being polite and appreciative is really important. Even if I don’t like a product I’m respectful because it’s somebody’s idea. I like to present things in a factual way so you can see my view but also form your own.

7. What was it like for you, as a working Pediatric Occupational Therapist, transitioning to a SAHM of two girls? Was it a rough transition? Smooth? Do you miss working?

After Cate was born I went back to work one day a week. I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel like I belonged there. I liked the intellectual work of it but not the absence from my daughter. I still did some per diem work until Grace was born but it was less than 5 hours a week by that time. I think about going back sometimes (especially on those really long days) but my heart isn’t it in. I feel content being with them and I feel like it’s where I’m supposed to be.

8. I know I love finding out what other SAHM’s, especially bloggers, do with their time. With that said, tell us what a “normal day” is like for you and your adorable children. How do you make time for them, the house, your blog, etc?

We try to stay busy. I like to get out in the mornings whether that means it’s a preschool day for Cate, just running errands or hitting the park depends on the day. Then it’s lunch time, rest time/ nap time and on good days just a couple of hours until Daddy arrives. I have a babysitter once a week in the afternoon and my dad helps me once a week so I have some down time that I try to catch up on laundry, cleaning and sometimes blogging. I find time to blog mainly at night but sometimes during rest time. I really try to focus on being present and playing with the girls in the morning. Then I let the afternoons juggle between keeping them occupied, trying to clean up and do dinner, etc.

9. What can we expect from Ask Miss Mommy in 2010?

Definitely Fine Motor Fridays – hopefully on Fridays but no promises there, some product reviews scattered in and weekly posts on where I’m at in the this incredible journey of motherhood. Oh and honesty – always.

10. Lastly, I know this a broad question and a difficult one, but how has motherhood changed you, both physically and emotionally?

It’s ruined me.

Totally kidding!

I don’t think I ever expected to be so in love with my children and moments later dislike them so intensely. It’s a journey of emotions I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to balance being happily married, raising and nurturing my girls, keeping up with my house, having a social life and allowing for time for myself. I wouldn’t give it up even but it’s hard. Part of the reason I love to blog is learning from other moms how they cope, knowing I’m not alone and experiencing this wild ride together!!

Ask me about my wiener!

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:58:59 PST

It is a funny thing, potty training. It opens doors to a lot of freedom, but it also opens doors to some other interesting topics.

I was always dreading the day I would have to begin potty training. My son is such a tyrant that I did want to deal with it was waiting until the right time to start him. In the eye of our family sickness, aka "February Can &#@$ Off", I decided it was time to start for good. We were stuck in the house all day every day, so why not?

As I said, to my surprise it went smoothly and without much resistance. Even now, he is still very excited and motivated by being able to do such a "big" thing by himself. We still get quite a few accidents, but all in all he is progressing excellently.

I was prepared for the accidents and the hard work it would take to get the job done, but I was not prepared for what else potty training would bring; the penis conversations and the grabbing.

This cracks me up because my son is so sweet and loves a good conversation. Now that he wears underpants and uses the potty he is much more aware of his penis. He likes to talk about it, watch it "shake around" when he dances, compare his to his daddy's and make everyone well aware that he has one and his sister does not.

"I am a boy and I have a penis and you a girl and you don't have it.", is something I now here quite a few times a day. When it is time for a bath and he gets to run around "naky", talk of his penis comes up yet again. The other morning when I was getting him dressed he told me, very seriously too, "I like my penis and I want to keep it."

I smiled, trying not to laugh out loud and just said, "Good. I am glad you like it and want to keep it. It is the only one you have so you need to take care of it." He nodded in agreement.

I try to let him know how much I love him talking to me about "things of this nature", but I have also tried to use this as an opportunity to help him understand what is private vs. public. He doesn't really get this yet, but we are working on it. Case in point, today I had a friend over for coffee and he wet his pants. While I was getting him new ones, I walk into his conversation with my friend that involved him asking and pointing to his crotch, "What is this under my penis?" 

She shrugged, looked at me for an answer and we both laughed and said, "Those are your balls." "Oh.", was his reply and he happily went on his way.

After she left I tried to talk to him about how happy I was for him communicating, but how we still needed to work on what private vs. public meant. This saddened him and again he said, "But I like my penis."

I took a deep breath and said, not sure I wanted to know the answer, "Why do you like it?"

"Because it is silly and makes me a pee-pee like a big boy."

He is so honest and loves to talk to my husband and me about everything and I don't ever want that to change. As he grows I can see life lessons and the harshness of reality starting to play a role with his innocence and what he can and cannot do.

I love watching him grow, but with the constant talk, discussions and reminders of his "junk" I now feel like I have three children, Misa Misa, Barrett and "Misa'a stuff". Hoping this is a phase and the discussions about it will diminish, but as of right now it is all I hear about during the day.

Smile and nod, smile and nod... 

The Honest Scrap Award

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:01:51 PST

I have been lucking enough to be given my first blog award by a fellow blogger; Melissa from Adventurro!

I know it isn't a big deal to most, but it feels really nice to have recognition from my peers. This is more like a meme than an award, but I am taking the love where I can get it.

This award/meme consists of reveling some honest things about myself, like my soon to come 100 things. I hope you learn a little more about me and like what you read!

1. I love movies. Lame ones, old ones, new ones, scary ones, you name it. I love going to the movies too, but my favorite thing to do is curl up on the couch with a blanket, a glass of wine and my husband and watch a movie. He likes to make fun of me for my "lack of taste" in movies, but it isn't always about the movie and more about the story and the experience. I know it sounds silly, but I just looooove movies.

2. I have OCD. Not diagnosed, but I know I have it. I get these grand schemes and ideas in my mind and fixate on them until I either accomplish it or everyone tells me to drop it because I am crazy! Case in point Veganism. I can't help it; the thoughts just swirl and swirl in my head until I get them out.

3. When you first meet me, you will most likely get the feel that I don't have a care in the world. The truth is, I get nervous very easily, constantly second guess myself and use humor to cover up most of my nervousness. I can write confidently because it is easier than saying it face to face. I look forward to the day my outward confident, woman persona catches up with my inner little girl persona.

4. If I really didn't care what other people thought, I would have sleeves. I know, I know, but I don't know what it is, I just think they are beautiful. Plus, I think I am attracted to the fact that the people who have them are brave enough to make that kind of personal statement and go against the grain. Alas, I do care about what people think and how I am perceived. It doesn't consume me, but it is there like it is for most of us. Maybe one day I will decide to finally do it, but until that day, I will gaze lovingly at the art that I see on others.

5. I have a strange talent of being to distinguish voices. I kid you not, ask my husband. Any movie, television show, cartoon, etc. I can always close my eyes and tell you who the voice is. If by chance I don't know who it is *ahem*, I will find out because otherwise it will haunt me. It creeps my husband out and I love it!

6. Just like Mel, I too love sleep. I love to sleep and if I knew how tiring it would be to have kids I would have slept more when I was young and innocent! I sometimes fantasize about booking a hotel room at a swanky hotel just to put on some spa tunes, grab an eye pillow and sleep until I wake up refreshed. That is what I miss most about sleep; waking up feeling rested and replenished. Since having children my sleep as changed. I can no longer fall asleep at the drop of a hat, fall back asleep easily and I wake up more frequently than I did in the past. I know things will change as they get older, but as for right now, I am always tired.

7. I love the snow. I daydream of living in the mountains surrounded by nothing but white. It is peaceful, quiet and breathtakingly beautiful. I visited Park City, Utah once with my husband for a snowboarding trip and absolutely fell in love. I hope that one day this dream of mine will come true and my family and I will live in a sea of white.

8. I knew I was going to marry my husband the first time I ever met him. I know it sounds cliché, but it is true. I got that weird feeling about him when we met and felt the sparks of interest. We both had significant others at the time and became friends, but I always had that nagging feeling like there was something special about him. Maybe it was how much fun we had together, how easily we meshed, our differences, our similarities; not sure. I knew that I felt different when I was around him and I liked the way it felt.

9. I can play the piano, really well. I started taking piano lessons when I was 4 or 5 (I think?) and loved it. I miss it and wish I could have my piano (at my parent's house) in my own home, brush up on my skills and share the joy with my kids. One day, one day.

10. There is nothing I cherish more in the world than friendship. It has helped me get through some tough times and there is something to be said for a real friend. I have seen friends come, go, said good bye to some, but I am always thankful for the real friends that are a part of my life.

The best part of this award/meme, is that I get to pass it onto 7 other fellow bloggers. I hope they enjoy it as much as I have!

Jessica from Mommas Gone City, because she and I are real friends, through thick and thin.

Fadra from all.things.fadra, because she aggravates me, puts me in my place and is always up for a debate. Everyone needs a friend like that.

Lauren from Mommy is Rock and Roll, because she is my birthday twin and brave enough to do Blogher 2010 with me even though we have never met!

Loukia from LouLou's Views, because she is kind and always listens to my tweets.

Kathy from Elona Creations, because she knows the meaning of support.

Maria from Mommy Melee, because she was one of the first people to reach out to me on Twitter and help me get into cloth diapers.

Elissa from 17 and Baking, because she is living my dream.

Hope you enjoyed the honesty and have fun getting to know my fellow bloggers!

Long Time No...

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:55:15 PST

How long has it been since I have been able to write, think, talk to anyone instead of care for, worry about and clean up after two sick kids?

I know in reality it has only been a couple of weeks, but in my head it feels like years. The dark cloud of sickness is slowly, but surely starting to turn blue. Everyone is now healthy, except for me. I have finally been hit with all the snot, coughing, sleepless nights and fevers. I have a horrible sinus infection and just feel really rundown, nothing serious. Plus, I would hands down rather be the one that is sick than those two kids again anytime soon.

I am going to try and give you a condensed update of what has been happening in my life and all the things I would have loved to blog about.

First, I finally got my 3 hour glucose test results back from the doctor. ~~Quick results my ass!~~ As it turns out, I passed my test, but barely. I am have now been lumped into the "pre-diabetic" category. So, as you know, my husband and I joined Weight Watchers online, but sadly since all the sickness drama, I haven't been doing it very well, if at all.

I have been however, undergoing a whole different food movement and have already seen the differences. Thanks to Alicia Silverstone and her new book, "The Kind Diet", I have been "flirting" with vegan and vegetarian diets. So far, no drastic changes, just making some swaps for more whole foods and no more processed foods. I have noticed my pants fit better, but the scale stays the same and I have noticed my cravings are not as bad. I was moved by her outlook on food and it has really made a light go off in my head. Her book led me to read another great book that has made another type of light go off in my head. A light surrounded by thinking more about the products I choose for my household and why.

Okay, enough food talk, on to some other good things that have come out of the dark cloud. Since I have been trapped in the house with the kids for three weeks, I decided enough was enough and I had to give potty training my stubborn 3 year old son a try. Saying he is stubborn is an understatement and I have feared the day when I would have to potty train him for good. I have tried a couple of times before and it was disastrous in true Misa form; kicking, screaming, hitting, crying, you name it.

This time, I was ~~exhausted~~ firm and just said "You are big, no more diapers." This is what I got, "Okay Mommy, I wear underpants." Huh? Okay? Is that all it took? Really?

We have had a few accidents and leaving the house still causes him some stress, but with the small addition of a CARS potty seat, we have been good to go! I know I will have to break him of that habit, but right now it helps him so #whatev. I am just so proud of him, you have no idea!

Now onto the bad news. My poor little Queen B has had so many ear infections, ear infections that do not respond to antibiotics that she has to have tubes put in her beautiful ears. I hate the idea of my baby girl being put under to have surgery at such a young age, but we made the decision to have tubes put in Misa'a ears and it was the best decision we could have made for him. He used to get ear infections every couple of months and it really changed him for the better.

Her surgery was scheduled for last Monday, but was pushed back to this coming Monday. I was nervous with Misa'a and I am even more nervous with Queen B's because she is so much younger than he was when he had his surgery.

The other bad news was that my baby girl turned one during all this sickness and we had to cancel her/his birthday party. I know they are young and won't know the difference, but it broke my heart to cancel it.

All I want at the end of all this is to have all the people I love in a room, with a cake and to sing happy birthday to my sweet little girl.

Things are turning around, slowly but surely. I am tired, my house is a wreck, but I am alive and breathing and have my family around me.

What more could I ask for?

Band of Mothers

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:27:07 PST

 As if I need anything else on plate, but I am happy to announce the newest edition to the Motherhood and Me family.

Band of Mothers the Blog!

This is still a work in progress, but my dear friend Jessica and I from Mommas Gone City and I thought of this together (she came up with the fabulous name).

Again, this is still in the early stages of development, but we wanted to make a collaborative blog where moms could come together to share their stories, experiences, advice, etc.

Support, I am finding, is key to surviving this thing called Motherhood.

Enjoy and let us know what you think!

Thanks!

The Dark Cloud That Is My Life

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:16:54 PST

So I have been MIA for what feels like months now.

Things were fine and dandy until Lil' Miss B started acting under the weather about 10 days ago.

I trusted my gut and called the pediatrician's office to see if I could squeeze her in after my doctor's appointment. I was having crazy sinus pain ever since I flew home from MI and finally decided to suck it up and go get some medicine.

Let's just say going to the doctor is not my cup of tea and going with both of my kids is even less appealing. This appointment in particular, turned out to be one of the most difficult ones I have ever had to endure.

I stroll in with the kiddos in their beast of a stroller and get called right away, which was nice.

We are walked down the hall to our room all while Misa Misa is whining about how he doesn't want to get a shot. I kept trying to tell him that we were at my doctor and not his and that he was perfectly safe.

We get to our room and I have to keep apologizing to the nurse who couldn't keep from laughing the whole time Misa Misa is interrupting our every breath.

At this time, Barrett starts to whimper as if she wants to get in on the action too. I let her out of the stroller to cruise a bit and suddenly the doctor walks in and startles her. She trips and falls on the floor. She always falls so I thought it was no big deal until I picked her up to find a pool of blood.

Awesome.

She cut the inside of her top lip on who knows what and proceeds to bleed continuously for what felt like forever. My poor doctor was all frazzled and never even looked in my nose! He was too concerned with making sure her teeth were still intact. He wrote me a script and tried to get the bleeding to stop.

Misa Misa was in the stroller, white as a ghost and started to wail once he saw the blood.

There I was, sinus pain, blood all over me, two screaming kids and a poor panicked looking doctor. I told him to just let me get her to her pediatrician's appointment and made my way out of their office with what dignity I had left. I rushed out while all the nurses looked at me like I was a crazy person.

I made it to her pediatrician's appointment and seriously shocked all the people when I walked in. They gasped when they saw me and asked where the blood was coming from. I told them that we were just there for a cough and that the blood was just a long story.

Argh!

Once we were there, we found out that poor Lil' Miss B had a double ear infection and now a busted lip. We got her some medicine and went on our way until the next morning when Misa Misa woke up like this...

He spiked a fever and started hacking away like an 80 year old smoker. I called the pediatrician's office and asked to sneak in AGAIN. This time we found that he had an ear infection in one ear and...

Pneumonia.

Awesome.

What's even more awesome than that, is the fact that this is the SECOND time he has had pneumonia. The first time he had it was a year and half ago and he ended up in the hospital.

Awesome.

So...my week and our weekend thus far has looked like this...

I wish I could say that my sinus pain is gone, the house is back to normal and the kids are well, but that is not the case. We are not there yet, and I stress yet.

The kids are still on antibiotics, not sleeping very well and Misa Misa need his breathing treatments and steroids every couple of hours.

Sleep is for the weak right? Or is it, you can sleep when you are dead? Either way, sleep is not something we are getting around here...yet.

Sorry to have dropped off the face of the planet and here too, but this dark cloud has been lingering much too long and has been raining much to hard on my poor family.

Thanks for not giving up on me and not deleting me from your readers!

15 Cookie Friday

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:12:33 PST

Today was a strange day.

We were stuck in the house because my poor little Queen B has a nasty cough, a busted lip from a bad fall and a double ear infection. As you can imagine, she is NOT a happy little girl.

Luckily she slept most of the day and even more lucky, so did Misa Misa.

However, when Misa Misa was awake I needed an activity to keep him happy. I asked, "What do you want to do?"

He grinned and said, "Make cookies."

"Okay" was all I had to say to put a big smile on his face.

We happily made my favorite cookie, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip.

We had a blast!

This was the first time that he actually made an effort to help and be apart of the whole baking process. It was so amazing to see him enjoy and take part in something so close to my heart.

We laughed, made two big plates of cookies, took pictures, and talked about what baking was and why I loved it. It was really a special day, until...

THIS happened.

Let me explain...

This is the result of what happened when he should have been napping.

I put him down for his nap and went to lie down with Queen B, who was having a rough time. I feel asleep the moment her sweaty little face hit my chest.

I woke up about and hour later with Misa Misa standing in front of me with no clothes on, again, whining, "I don't feel good Mommy." Two seconds later he puts his hands up to his mouth and barfs.

I sit up and of course Queen B wakes up and is just as confused as I am. It takes me all of one second to see that he face is covered with chocolate.

"What are you doing? Were you eating cookies? Where are your clothes?" (Why are the words, where are you clothes, always coming out of my mouth with this kid?)

I get up to find the two plate of cookies we made are now ONE plate of cookies.

Yes, folks, that's right, he snuck out of his room at naptime, ate an entire plate of cookies and then barfed. (Not sure when his clothes came off.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, my son.

Happiness is Chasing Chickens

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 06:00:03 PST

Weight Watchers. Wait? What?

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:32:36 PST

Still no call from the doctor's office about what my numbers were from my tests last week. I am thinking the "no news is good news" policy is applying to me right now. Well, I am hoping for that.

Called and left a message yesterday, but no call back yet.

Even if the numbers come out alright, which I am hoping for, there still needs to be some changes around here and changes there are.

Last Sunday night, my husband and I joined Weight Watchers online. I would love to tell you that I am super excited about this, but alas, I am not. I wish I could be Evie Garland and just "gleep" myself back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I mean, come on, I won't get greedy, just my pre-pregnancy weight will be fine with me!

Well, my first week on WW was not as great as I hoped. I am still trying to learn the ropes of these points and remember to think before I eat. Then once I do all that, I always forget to log my points online. I know it will get easier with time and there is an adjustment period with new routines, but I am doing it with a smile ~~smirk~~ on my face.

I will tell you this, I am learning that although the foods I regularly eat are not unhealthy, they are high in points. For example, I usually have whole wheat toast with peanut butter and a banana for breakfast. While not unhealthy, this I learned quickly, gobbled up most of my daily points right then and there. I think by dinner that night I only had two points left!

The next day I chose something different and I guess that is the whole idea behind WW. Learning to make better choices one step at a time.

I am slowly but surely doing it and still anxious to find out what my numbers look like from my doctor. Thanks for your well wishes and good vibes. Keep them coming and I will keep you updated.

Margaritas

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:18:46 PST

I had the pleasure of grabbing margaritas with some girlfriends the other night and the topics of discussion were about the same as they always are when we get together. 

We catch up, tell each other about what recent events may be going on in our lives and with our families. We talk about our kids, compare stories and ask for advice. We then move on to current events and things of that nature, but the conversation always rounds it’s way over to husbands. 

This evening the common theme to the husband topic was equality. Each and everyone of us discussed how we felt care giving equality fell short. 

Now don’t get me wrong, don’t get the idea that we get together to bash our husbands. I was just surprised at how each one of us were bothered or annoyed by the same exact things. 

Our husbands range in age, height, weight, race, educational background, you name it, but it was surprising to me that all of our stories sounded identical. 

Each one of us felt like we were left to carry the weight of care giving. Working mom or stay at home mom, the complaints were the same. 

Examples: 

"I take care of the kids all day and all week by myself, but when he does it for a couple of hours, I feel like he is acting like he deserves a medal!" 

"I love when he wants to spend time with the kids and let me relax, but coming home to a house that has exploded and having to be the one to clean it up is not my idea of relaxing. Why can’t he take care of the kids and pick up after himself at the same time. I am not asking him to clean the whole house, just pick up after lunch, block time, etc." 

"I work too, but how come the majority of the house and child care falls on me?" 

Sound familiar? 

This left me thinking, are we asking for too much or not giving our husbands the benefit of the doubt? Not exactly, but I do think we can cut them some slack. This, especially for me, is easier said than done. 

I think we need to realize that the majority of care giving falls into our laps because we (as stay at home moms at least) do it 99.9% of the time already. It comes easily to us and we are used to doing it. When we ask them or they want to do a majority of the tasks we do on a daily basis, it isn’t going to come as easily to them, mainly because they don’t have that much practice time. 

I see this in my house a lot. It is a piece of cake for me to wrangle the kids, make dinner, clean up the playroom, fold laundry, and talk on the phone at the same time because that is what I do all day everyday. I am trying to learn to cut my husband some slack when it comes to multitasking at this magnitude. 

The only time I have a problem is when a time comes that requires him to do everything, it leaves him stressed, resentful and ill-equipped. 

This conversation with my girlfriends stayed with me, because I think this is an argument that will never be resolved. It will never be equal, or at least it will never feel equal. 

Our husbands most likely feel the same way as we do. Do we understand what it feels like to have the stress of the family’s financial well being fall solely onto us? (Now, I am not a working mom, so I can only tell my side of the story. Working moms, chime in and give me your side!) I know I think I do, but in reality I don’t. 

I believe it all comes down to balance and I am finding that balance is not so easily accomplished. I personally find it difficult to find balance between being a mother, a wife, a friend and then squeezing in time for just me. 

Balance is what we all strive for, because when we are balanced we feel that things run smoothly, our lives are less stressful and we are in a mindset to really enjoy those around us. 

One of my many goals for 2010 is to take steps towards feeling and being more balanced. 

What do you think? 

Will this argument ever be resolved? 

We will ever really be equal?
What is it like for all the working moms out there that have to balance even more than I do?

"Suuuuuueeeee!"

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 08:23:53 PST

Just a little peek into my morning to make you laugh as we roll into the weekend...

Slept in the guest room last night because I couldn't tune out my husband's delightful sleep noises beastly snores and somehow didn't realize my 3 year old son woke up before I did.

I sat straight up in bed because I heard someone screaming my name, "Sue! Sue! SSSUUUUUUEEEE!" I walked out into the hallway and saw that both of the kids bedroom doors were closed, a sign that they are sleeping, and all is still silent.

I make my way to the bathroom when I hear the screams again, "Sue! Sue! Sue!" This time realizing it is my 3 year old son and yes, he calls me by my first name when he wants to get my attention.

I go into his room to find his bed empty and his jammies on the floor. Hmmmm?

I make my way downstairs, to find my son, naked screaming my name.

"What are you doing?"

"It's awake time and I naky!" 

"Yes, I see that you are awake and naked, but why?"

"Because I a boy and I have a penis and you have a BA-GINA!!!!"

He then starts laughing and runs around repeating "BA-GINA!"

I am just standing there, like, what the hell and who is this kid? This was way too much action and information before coffee was in my system.

I just let him do his thing, grabbed a cup of java, sat at the kitchen table and watch all that is Misa Misa.

This lead to uncontrolable laughter from me and eventually my 11 month old daughter. When he has an audience, he really goes for it.

So, needless to say, today will be a good day no matter what happens because it started off with a laugh.

If life gets you down today, just do what my son does to make himself happy, rip your clothes off and scream VAGINA!

What works for one, may not for another.

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 06:00:04 PST

I was grocery shopping a couple of months ago when something interesting happened.

There I was, as I always am when I go grocery shopping with both kids, Queen B on my back in my ERGO baby carrier and Misa Misa in the cart. 
 

We were chatting away about all the things we needed to get and what we would be doing after we were finished, when I was interrupted by my son with a puzzled look asking, quite loudly and with a pointing finger I might add, “Why is that lady hitting that boy?”
 

I turned around to see a mother down the aisle behind me spanking her son, who looked to be the same age as Misa Misa. 
 

Now when I say she was spanking her son, I mean she was spanking her son. Not a bop on the bum or a whack of the wrist, but full on spanking, right there in the middle of the aisle while the kid whaled away.
 

Now I don’t know this mother or this child, but I do know myself and my son, who was extremely confused by seeing this.
He looked at me and said, “Hitting is mean, why is that lady hitting that boy!”
 

I felt myself just stare at my son with a blank look on my face. I was confused about what to say and how to approach this. My hesitation to answer just made him ask louder, “MOMMY! Why is that lady hitting that boy!” By that time the lady was looking at me.
 

Awesome.
 

I finally managed to say the only thing I could think of at the time, “Some mommies treat their babies different than I treat you.”
 

Hoping this was a sufficient answer for him and it was, we continued on with our shopping trip. He did however, keep saying throughout the day, “Hitting is mean mommy, we don’t hit.”
 

Thinking back to this made me realize that my son is getting to that age, he turned 3 last week, where the questions that he asks me are going to be real life questions and not just “why?” or “what color is this?”
 

I am finding myself taking the time to chose my words wisely and let him as slowly as possible find out that the world is not always a pretty place. I dread the day when he really understands this and comes to the realization that the world and the people in it, can be scary and overwhelming at times.
 

I do not look forward to the day his innocence slips away and he starts to think more about what other people think then what he feels.
 

I want to instill in him a quality I feel is lacking in our world today. I want him to be smart and aware, but at the same time still think that all people are inherently good. Some may call this being naïve, but I call it humility.
 

You never know someone’s story, the pain they carry with them, the loss that is in their hearts, and the path their life has taken to shape them into the person they are when you meet them.
 

Like in the grocery store that day, I had to catch myself from making a snap judgment and stopped myself from shaking my head as I walked away. I don’t know this mother. I don’t know what her beliefs are or what lead her to believe that way.
 

All I know is that spanking is not something I believe in and isn’t something we practice in our home. In our home, we emphasize communication over physical punishment, but that may not work for everyone.
 

I am proud to say, I look at my son and I can already see humility in his eyes. 
 

I can see it when he sees another child crying or upset in a movie and asks why. 
 

I can see it when he sees a painful look on a friend’s face and becomes concerned. 
 

I can see it when he snuggles up to me when I am sick in bed and asks me if I am okay.
 

Every mother wants their children to succeed in life, but for me, the most important thing I want for both of my children is for them to be kind, respectful people of society. 
 

As long as they hold this quality in their hearts, I will always be proud of them.

Wordless Wednesday

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:00:03 PST

Stick it to me baby!

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:48:34 PST

First I just want to say, THANK YOU.

The out pour of support and well wishes filled my heart today as I went in to get poked and prodded take my 3 hour glucose test.

I am crossing my fingers that today was just awake up call and that the doctor will call me and let me know that my numbers were all normal. The nurse told me the doctor would call me in the next couple of days, so as of right now, I am waiting.

Thank you again for your thoughts and letting me know that you all believe in me, even when I don't!

Thank you...

Something's Gotta Give

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:00:04 PST

Okay, it's time to face facts.

I am fat and I am can't get any fatter.

I mean seriously.

My pre-pregnancy weight with my first child was 140-145 pounds and I didn't have to work that hard to stay at that weight.

Fast forward 3 years and I now weigh a whopping...201 pounds.

Ugh. ~~Ahhhhhh it feels good to say it out loud~~.

I gained 65 pounds with my first pregnancy and I never really tried to lose the weight because I knew my husband and I were wanting to have another baby sooner than later, and due to that, I just couldn't get motivated. "I am working so hard to lose weight when I am just going to get fat again." That was my mindset.

I did somehow manage to lose about 20 pounds before I became pregnant with my daughter, but then gained it all back.

Throughout my entire second pregnancy I was paranoid about gaining too much weight that I couldn't really relax.

Well now, present day, as we speak, I still can't relax. I am sadly 10 pounds heavier than the day I LEFT the hospital with my adorable baby girl.

I have to lose this weight.

You may be thinking, "Don't be so hard on yourself, you had 2 babies in 2 years." Thanks, but I have to lose this weight.

I was in Ann Arbor, MI visiting my family and got a call from my doctor. My blood sugar was high when I came in to give blood before I left and I needed to come in for a fasting blood sugar reading. I interrupted my doctor and told him that I WAS fasting when I came in.

"Oh." Long pause.

So now I have to go in for a 3 hour glucose and hemoglobin A1C test tomorrow morning and I am ~~scared out of my mind~~ super excited. (Hey, upside, I get to sit quietly in the doctor's office with my computer while my dear friend Robin wrangles my children.)

I was put on with the nurse to schedule my appointment and I asked her what it meant if I failed the test. She politely informed me that I would be diagnosed with diabetes, put on a treatment plan and we would go from there.

What?

I have had a history of high blood sugars, but never high fasting blood sugars. The only time I have ever had to take the 3 hour glucose test was during my pregnancies and I always passed.

So I am left here worried and wondering what this will mean for me, my family, my health, my insurance, my everything. I mean, it is one thing to want to lose weight. It is another thing to be told you have to because your life depends on it.

I have to get this weight off me, but it seems SO big and SO overwhelming that I feel like it is utterly impossible.

I am looking at losing 50+ pounds. That is impossible. I feel defeated before I even begin because I am totally ill equipped to do this.

Maybe I am jumping the gun, but still, this is scary. This is something that I have to do and I can't have somebody do for me. This is scary and seems beyond my reach.

I won't know what the outcome will be until later this week, but I am hoping this is just a really big wake-up call and not the real deal.

Until then, I am worried.

Looking Back Via C-Section

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:06:50 PST

A lot of my friends are having or are going to have babies right now. Some are first babies, some are second babies, but they are babies nonetheless and it has made me think back to my experiences delivering my two children.

While I was mentally reminiscing about the good, the bad, the traumatic the ugly of my two cesarean births, I stumbled upon some chatter and heated discussions on Twitter.

Kristen Chase, aka the Mominatrix, and one of the blogs that I follow and love had written a book that was causing a quite a bit of noise with some moms.

The book is about a mom's guide to getting her sex life back after having children. The subject of the book was not the issue, it was a particular section regarding vaginal births vs. cesarean births and sex that was causing the raucous.

Let me state now that I have NOT read Kristen's book, nor am I here to point fingers as to say "stay away" from her or what she stands for, because I love her blog and will continue to be a loyal reader. With that said, I just have an opinion on the subject and I thought I would share it with you.

According to Gina, aka the Feminist Breeder, who has read the book, states that Kristen says, "consider yourselves lucky you c-section bitches!" In regards to not having to push a 7+ pound baby out of our vaginas.

Frankly, I was offended by this but wanted to hear more of what Kristen had to say about the state of a cesarean birth mother's vagina, because clearly she had a strong opinion.

I managed to track down her Blog Talk Radio show, Morning Sex with the Mominatrix, and listened to her podcast regarding sex after cesarean. 

Listening to her show, I found it strange that she kept coming back to the point that "some people out there make them feel like [they experienced] a lesser birth or that they could have done something else" and this could possibly be the reason why sex after a cesarean birth is more mentally difficult than anything else, because it can't be their vaginas, because their vaginas are in tacked.

She goes on to say that it could possibly be that cesarean birth moms are left to feel "like [they] weren't a good enough pregnant person, or a good enough person to be able to have a birth vaginally" and that inhibits them intimately. I don't know who she talked to, but that is ridiculous. 

I have had two cesarean births and my change in/lack of intimacy or self-identity was not based around or measured by what type of birth I had. 

I was pregnant for nine months, then gave birth, which left me in a state of hormonal distress, shocked by how hard breastfeeding was for me; need I say more. One of these reasons alone would make someones intimacy level drop or at least change.

Was I disappointed with my deliveries? One, yes. Was I envious of vaginal deliveries? No.

I agree more with Gina, that sex is different no matter what kind of birth a mom has had. Sex is always going to be different and saying "consider yourselves lucky you c-section bitches!" Isn't the nicest thing to say. I know everyone has an opinion, but I was not surprised by the out pour of emotions that moms had about this.

For me, my disappointment in my delivery with my son, was more because I was induced than having to have a cesarean birth. I was induced with pitocin, which I was terrified of, and was in labor for over 20+ hours. The little guy just wouldn't come out and I never dilated more than 3 cm. 

They tried everything in the book to get me to dilate, but nothing seemed to work. I believe more than anything that induction is the number one reason why moms end of having cesarean births. At the time I was letdown that it ended in a cesarean because of all the hard work I put into it. I was also not prepared for a cesarean birth and what it would do to my body. It was painful, debilitating, uncomfortable and left my body and mind in a state I was not prepared for.

I was induced because they thought my son would be 9+ pounds and worried about him being too big to fit through my birth canal, or as they said, "That baby isn't getting any smaller!" Thanks.

I think I eventually ended up having a cesarean birth because my body just wasn't ready to go into labor.  My son was only 7 pounds 13 ounces, not 9+ pounds like everyone thought.

I know doctors are only human and try their best, but I wish with my son I was able to actually go into labor instead of being forced into it.

What were your birth experiences like?

Were you offended by what Kristen had to say about cesarean birth moms being "lucky to have their vaginas untouched" or do you agree with her?

I don't think having to have major surgery is lucky, but maybe that's just me.

All I wish for moms is to be able to have a safe birth on their terms and to have them feel good about it. What more could we ask for?

I need a bath

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 06:00:02 PST

I am still in Ann Arbor, Michigan visiting my folks and it is COLD here. I have been here for almost two weeks and the days aren't getting any warmer, but the kids are getting more and more restless from being cooped up in the house all day.

To remedy this we got up early to take the kids out to breakfast at one of my favorite spots in Ann Arbor. While we were there I over heard some moms talking to their kids about "Java Jungle".

"When we get to Java Jungle, you can have your snack. When we get to Java Jungle, I will take your jacket off. When we get to Java Jungle..."

After breakfast we stopped by the local toy shop to let the kids play with their display train table and again I heard moms talking to their kids about going to "Java Jungle".

I finally became too curious and busted into their conversation (like I do most of the time)and asked what this place was all about.

"Oh Java Jungle is the best! It is an indoor play place for kids to climb and slide around in. Plus, they have lounge chairs and coffee for the parents to relax while the kids run themselves silly."

As this woman is telling me about this "magical" place she loves so much, I glanced back at my kids only to see them fighting over one train out of a thousand at the display train table.

I was intrigued. I have never heard of a place like this before and thought, why not?

Asked my mom if we had enough time to stop by and asked my son if he would like to climb and jump. The response?

"YES YES YES YES YES YYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!!" (I mean really, what did I think he was going to say?)

So off we went on an adventure to the magical land of Java Jungle.

Magical it was my ASS!

This place defined chaos and stress.

Picture a warehouse filled with a giant hamster cage looking structure, overflowing with snotty, screaming children running and jumping as if they had their breakfast laced with speed.

Below that are their parents laughing, talking and drinking coffee without a care in the world or an eye on their children.

This immediately was too much for me, but I figured it would do my kids some good to blow off some steam. Well, my 11 month old just stared at the scene like it was the craziest thing she had ever seen. Whenever I would try to put her down for one second, she would scream bloody murder. (I don't know blame her. I would!)

My 3 year old thought this was the best thing he had ever seen until he made it half way up the first structure and was attacked, yes attacked, by some little boy who obviously has inner rage issues. The little boy was half his size and decided that Misa Misa was going to be the one and the only thing he kicked that day. Nice. 

I managed to track down this little terror's mother and let her know that she might want to take a moment to smack her kid in the face talk to her evil adorable little man. Needless to say, she was less than thrilled to have her "me time" interrupted by my plea for help suggestion.

After that disaster, I managed to coax Misa Misa up into the play structure and he was eventually thrilled with the whole place.

Until we had to leave. 

I told him it was time to go and he decided that right then and there he was going have one of his colossal meltdowns. He started screaming and stomping his feet, all while yelling "I don't want to go bye-bye! I am not very happy! You are a MEAN MOMMY!"

Awesome.

All I have to say is that I was traumatized by this experience and felt dirty afterwards. Maybe I am just not one of those moms that can hang in a place like that. It was horrible and I don't think I will be going back anytime soon...unless I get super desperate.

I don't know what bothered me the most? The lack of parental supervision over their children, the screaming, the sense of nastiness you felt after you climbed all over the place with a bunch of snotty strangers? I don't know, but I do know I felt like I needed a bath in hand sanitizer after finally making it out of the hamster cage.

Nothing against this place specifically, I think I would have had this reaction to any of these places. I have a strong negative reaction to the play places inside malls too. I call them the "Germ Pits", but I will say, I have let them go in there when I was really desperate!

Am I being a snotty germaphobe? Have you ever been to one of these places? What was your experience like?

Well, I didn't know that!

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:31:50 PST

It's that time again!

What time you ask?

Time for my second instalment of Motherhood and Me's, "Well, I didn't know that! Getting to know other bloggers."

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Maria from BORED Mommy. I hope you enjoy meeting her or finding more about her and how the mundane makes her insane.

Don't forget to stop by her blog and leave her some comment love too.

Enjoy and see you next month!

1.When and why did you get into blogging?

I started my blog about six months ago, on July 15, 2009. I never had some big plan to become a blogger actually – it had never even entered my mind. But then I started using Twitter, and was interacting with some amazing people and noticed that almost all of them had a blog link on their Twitter profile. One day I tweeted out the idea of maybe starting a blog, and I got an overwhelming response from everyone telling me to do it, so I did. I can honestly say it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself since having children.

2.What is the general theme of your blog and why?

The name of my blog is BORED Mommy which may seem a bit misleading in the beginning. I called it that, not because I’m bored as a mother, but because I am one of those individuals that gets bored VERY EASILY. I need to be doing something all the time, and even when I am, I tend to get bored in the process of doing whatever it is I’m doing. The blog is really a self-deprecating, sometimes funny collection of stories about me, my kids, things I like, things I hate – basically me just talking to myself, and hoping someone wants to read it. I consider it a work in progress, for sure.

3.One of the many reasons I love your blog is that your stories and your writing are so relatable. One of my favorite posts that actually made me tear up because I felt like I was reading "my" story, was your "Cute is a thing of the past (a.k.a Holy crap I'm fat!) post." How have your struggles with gaining yourself back and weight-loss been going since then?

I’ll be totally honest - it got to a point there where all I thought about and talked about and cared about was my weight. It was a total downer. So I took a break from it, and just stopped putting so much focus on it, because ultimately I believe that weight loss is a mind game. If you’re head isn’t it 100%, then there is no point in even trying, because all that’s going to happen is self-sabotage. It’s not just about wanting it to happen; you have to BELIEVE in yourself and in your ability to lose the weight first, or you’re just wasting your time. So with the New Year, and the dreaded resolutions that we all make, I thought I would really put my mind to it, and my heart in it, with a long-term goal of losing some serious weight in time for my 10^th wedding anniversary in September.

4.Has writing and connecting with others through your blog made an impact on you personally in any way?

Absolutely.

The connections that I have made through my blog (and Twitter) have been amazing. I’ve met so many women, mothers, dudes that I never would have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. It’s great to have some honest feedback and conversation through my blog and my posts, especially for someone who is naturally a bit of a loner. Motherhood, as I’ve stated before, can be a very lonely thing for some and maybe even more so for stay-at-home moms. It has been at times for me, and I don’t feel that way anymore. Thanks to my blog, I’ve had many opportunities open up to me already, and it has been rejuvenating in many, many ways. I really, really love it.

5.Did you ever accomplish anything on your "I Wish" list?

I had to go back to look at that post, to see if I had or not! During the holidays, my house was so much cleaner, for longer periods of time, so that’s one!

Secondly, my long time wish of getting a Kindle in Canada came true, when Santa delivered!

I also now have several girlfriends that I can call my own, and call me as well (in retrospect this one was kind of pathetic). My cell is charged on a daily basis thanks to my 6 year old reminding me often, and although I will not be getting a Range Rover any time soon, I do believe that if I squint REALLY HARD, my very “sexy” minivan is a close second.

6.I always hear you talking about your Greek heritage on Twitter and wanted to know how that has influenced you as a mother?

When I talk about my Greek heritage, I have to talk about my parents.

My parents have honestly influenced every aspect of me as a person and as a parent. I have tried my hardest to embody the best of what my parents have taught me and work constantly to pass it along to my children. This includes the importance of integrity, honesty, a sense of humour, a strong work ethic and a constant respect for others.

I will admit that I have also inherited my mom’s sense of panic, worry and fear when it comes to my children’s health and safety. I constantly worry and am absolutely a panicky mommy (I think that that’s actually a dead giveaway of every Greek mother). Luckily, my dad’s wicked sense of humour has helped me deal with and balance that paranoia.

7.What traditions and Greek customs have you taught your children?

It is an interesting dynamic in my home at times because my husband and I are the couple from the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. I am really Greek, and my husband really isn’t. However, we were married in the Greek Orthodox Church and my husband loved me enough (SUCKA!) to be baptized Greek Orthodox prior to the wedding (and no it did not happen in an inflatable kiddie pool). We have also baptized both of our children and attend the Greek Orthodox Church, although probably not as often as we should.

We celebrate all regular holidays, but also Orthodox Easter and Namedays (which is a celebration of the saint that bears your name). Since we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by my family (and I have a large family), the kids are constantly around their yiayia and pappou and the Greek language and traditions. I truly appreciate that because I never had that with my grandparents, because they were so far away.

I’m proud to say they identify themselves as Greek (as does my husband – which is kind of funny) and we will continue to make sure that they do so as they grow up.

8.Speaking of your kids, one of your funniest posts was "What I've learned from little people." Learned anything new from your adorable kids lately?

My kids are really funny. They have hilarious facial expressions, and these little attitudes that makes it very hard to be serious with them sometimes.

They are also VERY different, but very compatible and absolutely adore each other. I’m learning new things about them every day.

My son has taught me that there is no shame in wiping a six year old’s butt, unless he’s the one doing it. Also, he wants every adult to know that you can actually learn “stuff” from playing video games, and that BEN10 is AWESOME and the coolest superhero ever.

My 3 year old daughter would like you to know that it is physically possible to hold onto the same toy for over a MONTH and take it absolutely everywhere, and be quite content doing it. Oh, and if you attempt to cross her, she will glare at you until your eyes water.

9.What can we expect from BORED Mommy in 2010?

In 2010, I will be contributing on the YummyMummyClub’s website as a regular blogger, with the Phat Mummy blog. It will follow along on my weight loss journey as I attempt to regain my “yummy”. So I’m really excited about that.

I will continue to blog on BORED Mommy and will be working on a new look for my blog, which I hope to have ready by the end of February. I really enjoy contributing to other people’s blogs and newsletters and hope to be asked to do so again. After that, we will see where this all takes me. I’m learning everyday and I know I have much to learn, so I’m excited about the future.

10.Lastly, I know this a broad question and a difficult one, but how has motherhood changed you, both physically and emotionally?

Well, physically – I think we ALL know the answer to that one.

Emotionally, becoming a mother has profoundly changed me.

I now know that I never knew true, unadulterated, endless love until I had my children. I never knew how much I would need them or even how much they would need me. I appreciate them as blessings in my life.

Oh, and truth be told, motherhood has made me an emotional mess. Now, I hurt not just for my own children, but for other children and their families as well. I’m that mom that gets very emotional when I hear these tragic stories of child illness and loss, even when I don’t know that person. I have always been a very empathetic soul (proudly inherited from my beautiful mom) but it’s at a whole new level now.

So I would like to take this moment to thank my beautiful children (clearly I have good genes) for their love, their fun and their sweetness. I would also like to punish them for my premature aging, but not during this interview, because I prefer to end on a happier thought. Think Unicorns. And rainbows.

"Haiti & Me"

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:14:37 PST

This information was sent to me via email by my husband's cousin, Brendie Bandara Heter.

She is reaching out to our family and friends for help with the devastation in Haiti and I told her I would be happy to post her information to help her spread the word.

She has a personal connection to Haiti and this tragedy hits close to her heart. One of her best friends, Angela Fairfield,
lived and worked in an orphanage there from 2005-2007 and she had the
pleasure of spending time with the people and children of Haiti in 2007.

Rest assured she is a real person, not a scam artist and I stand by her knowledge on the subject. Here is an interview she gave yesterday to her local radio station. 

Please take a moment to read, help where you can and spread the word.

Thank you.

Hey Family: 

The last few days have been draining to say the least. A few have asked about the orphanage in Haiti that I visited and support so here is an update. 

We weren't sure the orphanage survived after watching the news but miraculously, no seriously, MIRACULOUSLY the walls are standing! Barely, but still standing. The children are safe but their current situation is still dire. They don't have a real safe place to put the 30 children so this is still a bad situation. 

If any of you are planning on donating, please consider donating to this charity. So many other organizations don't send all the money to the needy. Three Angel’s has zero overhead in the United States and 100% of the funds go towards the orphanage. You can also easily donate online. 

As requested, here is the updated “needs” list for the orphanage:  
"We have a team scheduled to go to Haiti tomorrow Friday, January 15th. The team might have to walk from the airport to the orphanage which could take days.
The plan right now is to send an exploratory/first response team into Haiti this Friday. This team will be our eyes and ears and will provide the first real reports on what we are facing at Three Angels. We have had absolutely no communication with our people in Haiti since yesterday.
We will be sending a medical doctor (Dr. Jack Nonweiler), a structural engineer and 2 other people to help care for the children and provide immediate relief. This is the first flight available to us to get help down there and we are anxious to get to Three Angels and see Abbey, the children and our staff.
Our biggest need right now is financial. We will need some extraordinary resources and every dollar will help.  
 

How you can help:
We will need immediate funding for the following (costs estimated):
·Transportation costs for exploratory team / first wave - $1500 
·Initial Medical Supplies - dressings, casting supplies, medications, cipro, oral rehydration, wound care, etc) - $1800 
·Vehicle - $25,000 
·Satellite Phone (rental 4 weeks) - $500 
·Security costs (personnel, rebuild exterior walls, razor wire) - $2000 
Medical Supplies Needed:
·antibiotics (Zithromax, Cipro, Keflex, Bactrim, Amoxicillin, etc.)
·pain medications (Tylenol w/ Codeine, Vicodin, etc.) 
·local anesthetics (Lidocaine, etc.) 
·casting supplies 
·wrap/bandage materials 
·suture kits 
·wound care supplies 
·oral rehydration supplies"  



Thanks, Brendie

Thanks again for taking the time to find out how you can help and please spread the word...

Wordless Wednesday

motherhoodandme@gmail.com (Motherhood and Me) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:39:52 PST