By: Rebecca Keller

There comes a point in every relationship when we ask ourselves “Is this thing going anywhere?” Sometimes the answer may be excruciatingly obvious—like if the man you’ve been seeing for two months has you on a rotating date schedule with at least two other women (that you know of), or he still introduces you as “my friend, so-and-so” after six months of more-than-friendly activities. If you have any doubts about your relationship, chances are you already know that your man is probably not the prince for whom you’ve been waiting all these years. But what if the signs aren’t so clear, and the question that could ultimately make or break your relationship looms over you like a dark cloud? Men, at least the commitment phobes, tend to scare easily, and a statement such as “We need to talk” may send an insecure man running for the hills, at which time he will curl up in the fetal position and suck his thumb until the big, bad serious-conversation monster (you) leaves him alone. There may be some small ways for you to determine for yourself if your man’s in it for the long haul, without having to play Russian Roulette with your love life.

Here’s some clues:

He keeps a toothbrush at your place. If his toothbrush stands proudly next to yours in the toothbrush holder, he at least plans on coming back to your house some time soon. The very presence of his toothbrush is proof that he’s given some thought about a future with you in it—a future that he intends to have past tonight. Of course, if he doesn’t keep a toothbrush at your place, all hope is not lost. He may be using your brush, which could be considered charming—in a disgusting kind of way. If he thinks you’re close enough to be sharing a toothbrush, you’ve reached a level of intimacy that some couples never attain.

Your favorite overnight attire waits for you. He has a certain t-shirt and boxer shorts ensemble that you like to wear when you sleep over at his place. If you’re ready to go to sleep and said outfit is folded—or maybe just piled—and waiting for you on your side of the bed, he’s had premeditated notions of seeing you again—at his place, in his clothes. If he expends any kind of energy on you when you’re not around, he’s probably thinking about you more than he’d like to admit. And that’s a good sign.

He switches radio stations when you get into the car. He likes hard rock, and you like R&B. You know this, yet his radio is blaring Usher’s “Burn” when he picks you up for your date. This could mean three things. 1.) He got confused. 2.) He was too lazy to change the station after the last time you were in the car. 3.) He knows what you like, and he’s willing to take one for the team to ensure your happiness. If he’s hard core hard rock, he probably wouldn’t listen to R&B if he didn’t have to, and he most likely did not get confused. If he let’s you pick the station, he’s willing to give up something that less-into-you men would never consider. Which also pertains to television watching. If he lets you choose a show, even if it isn’t all the time, this is still a major event worth noting. He’s compromising something that most men consider very sacred, and the fact that he’s sharing the power with you is a big deal.

While we’re on the subject of music . . .

He sings along with you singing along with the radio. Instead of wasting his energy telling you how tone deaf you are, or turning up the volume to drown out your voice, he warms up his vocal chords and joins you in the accompaniment, knowing quite well that he can not carry a tune. He’s willing to make a fool of himself in front of you, and men don’t easily joke around with pride. And if he doesn’t know the words and still sings along—well, that’s something special.

He plays with your pet even though he’s allergic to animal fur. He’s willing to risk watery eyes, blotchy skin, and a swollen face to hang out with you. Even if he doesn’t exactly play with your cat, he’s become accustomed to being in the same room as Princess, and he may even sit next to her on the sofa occasionally. He’s immersing himself into a part of your life that’s important to you, and he’s putting his life—or at least his appearance—on the line to do it.

He keeps an endless supply of your favorite foods/drinks in his house. You like cream cheese on your bagel in the morning, and cream cheese makes him gag, yet he designates an entire drawer in the refrigerator for the stuff (basically because he doesn’t want any of his food near it, but still). He keeps both mild and hot salsa in his fridge because he knows you don’t like anything too spicy. He’s opening his kitchen to you and your favorite things, instead of just forcing you to eat what he has lying around, which, let’s be honest, may sometimes be taste-bud suicide. And if he starts to clear off a shelf in his cupboard for your cereal and crackers, he may start making room in his house for more than just your food.

He cooks meals to fit your tastes. He has an amazing recipe for chili, but you don’t eat chili because you have an inexplicable aversion to kidney beans. He makes dinner one night—chili—and you find yourself reaching for the Easy Mac, until you realize he’s made this batch sans kidney beans. He’s altering recipes for you now, which is another sign that he knows what you like—better yet, remembers what you don’t like—and plans accordingly. And you can’t really go too wrong with that.

He remembers what you said four months ago. It’s your first holiday season with your man, and you’re slightly nervous because he hasn’t asked you what you wanted for Christmas. As it turns out, he bought you a bunch of things you’d said you wanted at one point or another. But here’s the kicker. You brought up most of these things in a fleeting conversation which you barely remember yourself. If he remembers what you told him yesterday, it’s a good sign, let alone something you said months ago. This means he’s filling space in his memory with things that he feels may be important to know in the future, and these things have something to do with you. Statistically, you should be in good shape if he remembers firsts and important dates, and he hasn’t mixed up any of your important dates with important dates of other relationships (i.e. accidentally wishing you a happy anniversary on his ex-girlfriend’s birthday).

He still seems to like you even after he sees your post-exercise appearance. No one looks like a supermodel after working out, and if he pops by unannounced, or invites himself along on your daily jog, he will inevitably see the side of you that you’ve been meticulously covering with make-up and primping. If he still asks you out after he’s seen your ever-attractive matted hair and the fountain of sweat pouring off your body, then he’s a keeper.

Of course, there are other signs—some obvious, some ambiguous—that your relationship is moving forward: He offers you a key to his apartment, he introduces you to his parents (and is lovey-dovey with you in front of them), he calls you during guys’ night out, etc. These and other small gestures speak volumes about a relationship’s potential for advancement. However, no sign is fool-proof, as some men have learned to manipulate the system for their own personal gain, and these Mr.-Right-Nows blend in with the Mr.-Rights (but they aren’t undetectable, so don’t feel hopeless). In a world where no one—man or woman—wants to jeopardize a good thing because the alternative seems a bit too daunting, being able to identify the positive signs in your relationship without uttering the phrase, “Do you see a future for us?” may be an integral part of keeping your relationship alive. Even Mr. Right can get scared by a verbal declaration of commitment, even if he’s been planning your future in his head for months.

Equality The Key Ingredient

Modern commentators on marriage have long said that without a mutual perception of equality, partners cannot negotiate the many demands of life.  In marriage, partners need to perceive each other as having equal importance. If this is not felt or understood, one partner has an inclination to engage in an insidious game of trying to get the upper hand which could lead to the destruction of the marriage. In this type of marriage, “score-keeping” is prevalent; each partner keeps a mental tally of perceived wrongs that’s been done to them by the other partner.  The “score” becomes the primary agenda in the marriage. In this marital environment, there will not be any genuine closeness taking place between the two partners.

The perception of equality in the marriage gives each person the opportunity to create a balance relationship in which the marriage can survive and thrive.  An equal relationship within a marriage makes  it secure, “a soft place to fall” according to psychologist P. C. McGraw.  Partners can feel free to make mistakes in the relationship, and know that neither one will judge nor hold him or her in contempt. When a marriage is stable and happy, a contemptuous superiority never occurs.  If one partner is contemptuous of the other it means that there is no perception of equality in the marriage relationship.

Having a spouse you view as an equal and see as a friend, provides emotional strength that lets you handle what life brings. It lets you take risks, pursue goals and be less then perfect. When you  are in a close, committed, and secure relationship, it creates a shelter against the stresses of life.

Adult relationships require mutual devotion and cultivation where each person puts aside self-interest for the well being of the other. This involves compromise for the good of the relationship.

Eminent psychologist Alfred Adler emphasized that equality of partners is essential to a successful relationship: “If each partner is to be more interested in the other partner than in him or herself, there must be equality. Neither partner can feel subdued or overshadowed. It should be the effort of each to ease and enrich the life of the other. In this way, each is safe. Each feels that he or she is worthwhile: each feels that he or she is needed.”

Relationships will fail if partners are motivated primarily by self-interest. If little attention is payed to the needs and desires of the other partner, it devalues the relationship. Romantic relationships, friendships, and family connections satisfy our inner longings for relational closeness with others through the experience of mutual companionship, respect, loyalty, shared interests, and love.

Through viewing your partner as having equal importance to you, this will transcend your own interests, fears, and desires, allowing you to connect to others, serve others, and work with them to achieve common goals. This is the key ingredient in “How to Save A Marriage.”

By Beverly

There are things to look at closely and consider seriously about men, things you need to know.

1.  When you are thinking  about marrying, it’s important to know that some men are very close to their family. You should find out if he expects you to interact with them. Learning about a man’s upbringing and his family will prepare you for a better relationship with him. It can help you decide if you want to marry him.

2. Men are usually easier to understand than women. Unlike women, they tend not to be interested in being mysterious. They basically lay their lives out like an open book.

3. Men are generally attracted to women on a purely physical level. They are moved by what their eyes see. They are ready to do virtually anything to get close to someone that they are physically attracted to. If you are that special person who he is drawn to, you have a good chance to get to know him when there’s an on-going relationship.

4. What are his feelings about you having a career? Raising children? Finances? Household chores? Your time? etc,.  If your career is something you want to focus on, it would not be a good idea to get hooked-up with a guy that has an issue with career oriented women. A man who is frugal and watches even the pennies that he spends, would stifle a free spending person. And you need to know if you are marrying the type of man that wants you to cater to him and expects most of your time to be centered around to him.

5. It’s important to discover if your man can emotionally open-up to you about things. If you have to poke  and pry him open like a clam, and wring him out like a wet dish cloth, he is emotionally unavailable to you.

6. Realize that men tend to be impatient. There are exceptions of course. Unless you are one of the lucky ones, that has a man with the patience of a saint, be prepared to accept this flaw. Patient is not a character trait that many men possess. Most men will not repeatedly try to find out what’s bugging you. If there’s a problem between the two of you, they will want it resolved quickly. Don’t waste your time sulking about an issue. Tell him what is troubling you. Men just don’t have the patience to solve the mystery of what’s bothering you on their own. Speak out!

7. Even though they may be untidy themselves, men like to see women look good. He will want you to dress-up for him, especially when you are entertaining guests or there’s a certain  occasion when the two of you go out together. He wants to show you off to others. And it’s been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If you can cook and know how to fix his favorite foods, this is certainly something that most men care about.

What’s most important to know is that a man wants to feel loved and respected. He then will be more willing to tell you those things you need to know about him. But after some time has passed, he’s still unable to give you that which you need from him, you can continue to wait for him. Maybe he will come around to telling you what you need to know about him. You can also just accept the way he is.  Or you can choose to move on.

author knadi

Marriage is the biggest commitment people make in this world. Despite this, many marriages fail.  There are some that succeed. Those couples who celebrate many anniversaries are not extra-ordinary people. They simply understand some basic things about marriage. The willingness to cooperate and compromise in your marriage, are two key elements to happiness.

My parents had a successful marriage of forty years until death snatched my father. When I asked my mother what the recipe for a happy marriage was here are the keys to marriage success that she gave me:

* Don’t enter the marriage with an assumption that it is going to be like the movies or the novels that you read. Real couples are not always going gaga over each other. Romance and passion do dwindle over  time. Take a realistic view and think of it as a learning experience which may throw you a challenge now and then.

* It is natural for couples to fight; in fact some of them are necessary to keep the marriage alive!  It adds a spark to the monotony of everyday living. But couples should try to avoid hurting each other with unjustified barbs and taunting cutting words. Angry words can shatters a partner self-esteem if taken too far. You have to argue in a positive way.

Physical abuse should never be tolerated. Fighting clean is a technique many successful couples learn as they age and even couples therapy session focus on it as a way to get the spouses to speak freely about what is bothering them.  Some use this as a prelude to make-up sex and deeper intimacy.

* Both spouses have to be willing to make sacrifices to make their marriage work. The scenario where one partner makes all the sacrifices, often leads to an unhappy marriage. Partners must share responsibilities in their marriage. This will strengthen the relationship and promote mutual understanding and love between them, resulting in a happy marriage.

* Having respect for each other is important to the success of the marriage.  A wife  and husband  must respect each other, even when there’s a disagreement oven an issue.

* Physical intimacy is a major factor in establishing a happy marriage. As time goes by it may become a non-issue for some.  It may be hard to believe, but there are married couples in love that do not have sex  with each other.  Yet they live to a ripe old age, enjoying their time together in what many would consider a sexless marriage. They have learned to enjoy other aspects of their lives together, which gives them happiness and fulfillment.

* Even though love is the glue that holds a marriage together, money is necessary  to build  security and to establish stability for a family. The traditional roles of a husband being the primary earner and financial supporter of the family  is no longer the rule in many marriages. The wife rearing the children is no longer the only responsibility that she has in marriage.  The wife and the husband are both expected to contribute financial support to the family.  It is imperative that couples share the responsibility and be prudent in their spending to have a successful marriage.

* “Don’t neglect to spend enough time with your partner. It produces a strong relationship between husband and wife. Becoming engrossed in your career and preoccupied with other things may cause serious problems for you.  In time you will discover that the two of you have grown indifferent and lack the closeness to each other you once felt.

Never Forget! Make sure you always let  partner knows that they are most important  to you in life.  It is the fundamental key to a successful marriage.

submitted by: www.mrmarriagesaver.com

written by: Beverly

]]> http://www.mrmarriagesaver.com/secrets-to-a-happy-marriage.html/feed http://www.mrmarriagesaver.com/secrets-to-a-happy-marriage.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/mrnarriagesaver/~3/lyfidDsSuDc/the-division-of-housework-in-marriage.html http://www.mrmarriagesaver.com/the-division-of-housework-in-marriage.html#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 20:28:33 +0000 Beverly http://www.mrmarriagesaver.com/?p=207

Housework used to be clearly defined as a woman’s work. The husband’s role was to earn the money, to financially support his family, while the wife stayed home and attended to the home and the needs of the children. During World War ll, legions of women went out into the work force due to a shortage of male workers. After the war, most of these women returned to the traditional role of a housewife.  But their impact reshaped the American work place, and things were never the same.

Today’s boomers and generation Xer’s have charted a whole new course which has changed the division of housework in marriage. Couples must take the time to work out a plan to assure that housework between them do not become a source of contention, when they are both working outside of the home. To avoid a perception that you are being treated unfairly and being taken advantage of, each partner has to reach an agreement about who does what housework tasks in the marriage.  Ideally, if you are both working and making enough money, you could hire someone to assist you with the housework. This would certainly relieve tension and stress in this area of your marriage.

Even though men today are much more likely to help in the home compared to their father’s generation, studies show that women are still expected to do most of the housework in the home. Women continue to do up to 80% of the housework, consisting of the cooking and cleaning, as well as attending to the children.

Who will do such housework tasks as wash the dishes, do the laundry, take out the garbage, buy the food and prepare it, attend to the needs of the children, must be determine by the two of you. The question that may be raised by your wife or husband regarding housework is, “Whose job is it to do?”  This question may cause the two of you to examine housework in its traditional role as defined by your parents’ generation and whether you want to adhere to that role of the past.

There is no right answer to how to go about the division of housework in marriage. It just needs to be dealt with in a way that the two of you agree on, for the interest of marital harmony. When it comes to the “division of housework” in a marriage, the most important factor is whether you both are satisfied with the situation. If you are satisfied with things, it does not matter what anyone else thinks about how housework responsibilities are divided in your marriage.

It is a good idea to have conversations, to make a conscious effort to decide who is responsible for what housework task in your household. Also, review often the division of the housework that needs to be done,  once the two of you have agreed on your assigned tasks, At least once a year revisited it, especially when a major change has taken place in your lives.

For the sake of marital harmony, be flexible and understanding. Keep the lines of communication open with sensitivity toward your wife or husband. Be attentive to their needs and wants regarding housework, with the attitude that even though you do not like doing housework, you want to provide help to your wife or husband. This is what’s most “important.”

By Beverly Street

“I am right” is something most of us believes when we’re arguing about something. We are passionate in our opinion, even when proven wrong. It is very difficult to accept that we may not be right sometimes. What we need to understand is that the other person just happens to be correct in this instance.

It is difficult to admit you are wrong when your feelings are intense, and both of you want to be right. It is very important in a relationship to accept that you are not always going to be right, especially if you want to maintain a healthy marriage. Keep in mind, there is a diffference between thinking you are right and actually being right.

Everyone gets married with stars in their eyes. But soon you wake up to the reality that the person you marrried has ideas about things too. It may not always match what you think. Even people who have been in love for a long time and believe that they know everything about one another may discover that there are serious differences between them. Whether you known each other for a lifetime or you had a quick whirlwind romance on a tropical beach, be prepared to accept the fact that marriage present differences of opinions, from what type of toothpaste to buy to how you feel about money.

1. First, you must be willing to give ground to your partner once in awhile to avoid a perpetual cycle of arguing. The rigidness of your position can be a constant source of conflict between you and your partner. Ask yourself, is it really worth it to win this issue?

2. You must be prepared to understand that your wife or husband is an individual with their own personal likes and dislikes. Do not expect him or her to be your reflection. Even you and your siblings are different from each other, even though you lived with the same parents in the same house. Discover how to turn your lmarriage into a long honeymoon, despite arguments and differences.

3. Once you can accept differences it becomes easier to compromise. Learning not to sweat the small stuff will protect your relationship from being bogged down in petty arguments. There is conflict in relationships, the goal should be to resolve it amicably without tension and hostility toward each other.

4. Stopping arguments and working through conflicts requires having a selfless approach to your relationship. There has to be a willingness to do things that your partner enjoys. It’s what being in love is about, and you will discover that the two of you have a more satisfying and interesting life together from the things you share. You may come to appreciate those differences you have with your partner, after all, those qualities about your wife or husband is what attracted you. It is why you fell in love with them.

5. After a heated argument, take time to remind yourself what you love about your wife or husband, how they make you feel. See if that does not cure you from wanting to be right or having your way about something. You should feel a tug at your heart letting you know that your wife or husband is much more important to you then being right and getting your way. The next time you have an argument with your wife or husband, ask yourself what is this disagreement about? Am I trying to have my way or be right?

6. The objective should be to voice your feelings, to express what you want to say about an issue between the two of you. There must be a willingness to agree to disgree. Each person position about an issue should be appreciated and respected. No one in the relationship should feel imposed upon by the other. If you try to change each other, it will result in conflict, which leads to arguments. Living with someone means compromising!Loving someone means accepting what you can not change about them.

7. Remember, variety is the spice of life, without differences life would be boring.

To have a problem free marriage is an utopian dream. Many have tried to find it. But it still remains a dream! Although it is true you cannot have a friction-less marriage, there are some ways you can minimize the frictions and problems in a marriage. Read the following tips to help you prevent your marriage from ending up as another divorce case!
Marry for the right reasons: Many marriages fail because people married for the wrong reasons.  People whose marriage is based on physical attraction only will find it hard to maintain the marriage after the initial physical attraction wane.  A marriage is a union of mind and body.  Make sure you and your partner are in tuned with each other beyond the initial attraction to assure lasting satisfaction.
Don’t take each other for granted: When starting a relationship, we make an effort to please the object of our affection to get them to fall in love with you.  But after  they become  partners, they start to take each other for granted.  If you want your marriage to stay rock solid, avoid taking your partner for granted. Make your partner feel that he or she is still the most important person in your life. Do something spontaneous to add a spark that breaks the monotony that often settles on married life.
Sex is an important part of marriages: Some married couples believe that once they get married, their sexual life will become boring. It is important to realize that a good sexual life can be the foundation of maintaining your marriage. The physical intimacy that  the partners share, is vital to the success of the marriage. Make sure you surprise each other in the bedroom once in awhile to keep the passions burning by stirring up some excitement in your marriage.  Studies have shown that married people have more robust sexual life than single people!
Make time for each other: Couples drift apart when they stop talking to each other and don’t  make time for each other. Children and career are the two biggest factors that come between couples.  Let your children know that you need time to be alone together. Take special time for each other everyday where you can talk  and reconnect on an intimate level away from family troubles and office problems!
Give each other space: Just like disinterested partners can cause a marriage to fail, people who cling too tightly to their partner are also responsible for their marriage going downhill. A husband and wife needs to give each other space to do things on their own.  If you cling to your partner, he or she may feel smothered and stifled in their ability to be an individual who has their own interests and needs to fulfill. Your partner may also feel like you do not trust them. If you are a clinging vine who refuses to give them some space for themselves to do things or be with others,  they may develop resentment toward you.  It is important that you allow your partner to pursue interests that gives him or her a sense of satisfaction with what is needed for their life. Despite the fantasy that some have, no one can be your everything.

submitted by www.mrmarriagesaver.com

written by: Beverly

It can be devastating to discover the one you love has been unfaithful. First the tears, then the anger. For some a deep seated desire consumes their thoughts to get even and inflict as much pain as possible, to settle the score against their partner.

But after time has passed, the moment arrives when you realize you have to reclaim yourself from the muck that has clouded your mind. The realization sets in that you must find a way to get over your partner’s affair. You must rescue yourself from the bitterness in order to move on. It will  take time before you are able to put the affair behind you and make a fresh start. There may be setbacks, when you again strike out at your partner for the affair that caused you so much pain.

Whether to stay or leave your partner, regardless of the advice from experts, friends and family, only you can decide what you should do. After careful reflection you must determine the path forward, and how, if you decide to stay with your partner, you will proceed toward making your marriage whole again. To rely on someone else to tell you what you should do, deprives you of the ability to trust yourself and to take the responsibility of this decision.

The impact an affair has on a marriage is personal. For this reason, it cannot be package into a formula. But there are some time tested steps that have worked for couples struggling to overcome an affair.

6 Things You Can Do To Get Over The Affair:

1.  First, you must forgive. No marriage can survive an affair unless there is a willingness to forgive. If anger and bitterness takes root and festers in an unforgiving heart, the marriage is destined for failure. Seek professional help. If you have someone to advise you, to listen to you, and pray for you, don’t be afraid to call on them. Spiritual guidance can be a source of comfort. And there’s no substitute for loving friends and family when the hurt and sadness still clings to you.  Being around those that love and support you emotionally can help you when you need it the most.

2.  Be gentle to yourself. Don’t take on the blame for your partner’s unfaithfulness. Each of us have to be accountable for the choices that we make. Don’t pick over and rehash the affair again and again. Like a sore that’s picked at, your relationship will become infected with bitter accusations of cheating. You got to let the affair go!

3.  Take extra special care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Dine out with a friend, take in a movie, or go on a trip to some place you have been longing to go to. Listen to some soothing music or read a book that Inspires you.

4.  Take all the time you need! Don’t rush yourself into doing anything before you have had time to heal and make the necessary adjustments to get over the affair.

5.  If all your efforts fail, and you still can’t move beyond the affair, then it may be time to pack up and say good-bye to the relationship. There’s no reason to stay in a relationship that no longer can meet your needs. If just looking at your partner makes you relapse into an angry memory of the affair, you may need to consider whether continuing in the relationship is more harmful to you then good.

6. You have to be proactive in assisting the healing process to get over an affair. Only then can you truly obtain a sense of well-being again and be able to look for someone worthy of your love. And in time, find a faithful lasting love.

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www.mrmarriagesaver.com

Marriage: What Makes It Successful?

The most mysterious word or maybe the sweetest word to some, after mother is marriage. In different parts of the world marriage is the essential part of life for human being. It is the way of spreading your genes. It is the way of living together and having a good life with that special someone. For many it is the fulfillment of their love.

In every relationship there is the element of chemistry. But, the chemistry of marriage is different from  other relationships. It does not fit within a narrow definition. Couples bring into marriage their own social cultural beliefs, with its own characteristics and endless dimensions.  From the very beginning of human civilization the relationship between a man and woman is one of the most important ones. Marriage is the ultimate relationship a man and a woman can enter into of all their relationships. There is no magic formula to what makes a marriage successful. Every couple has to determine what works best for them.  There are human qualities and desires that every couples share in common  for their marriage.  Here a 7 things that are widely accepted as to what makes a successful marriage.

1. What makes a marriage successful is remembering how much you mean to each other. That even when there are disagreements and intense arguements you never loose sight of the love you have for each other. Love is the guiding light that leads you out of difficulties and serious situations. It soften the blows that come at you in marriage.

2. There must be mutual respect for the thoughts, feelings, and opinions for each other. A relationship has to have an acceptance of differences to make it successful. If you want someone whose a carbon copy of you then “clone” yourself!

3. Couples who have a healthy and satisfying sex life with a passion for being a good partner, represents what makes a marriage successful. There is no greater impediment to marital harmony, then issues in this area. It can lead to an affair and the breakdown of your marriage.

4.  Give priority to your partner’s preferences. Make sacrifices sometime to please them, which is something you do for those you love. This will make your partner feel that you are willing to do things to make them happy, even when you have to make a sacrifice.

5. Take the time to help out, whether it be household responsbilities or childcare responsibilities. This will lessen the stress on your marriage. It will give you more time together to do those things you enjoy. In today world, it is really difficult to find time for each other. Both partners are so busy with their career and striving to get ahead, that they can forget to stroke the fire of passion, to keep the it ignited! The result is that many marriages today are riddled with dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

6. Never loose sight of the dream you have to spend your lives together. The individual aspirations you both have must not overshadow the dreams you have together, that the two of you shared and talked about when you first met.  Never forget the dreams that excited you and gave birth to your love.

7. Resolve marital problems. Even in happy marriages couple argue and disagree about things. But they do not let problems and issues fester. They confront their problems and talk to each other about it. They sit and sort through things, to work out their problems. If their problems can not be resolve by them, they seek professional help from a qualified therapist that deals in marriage and relationship issues.

What makes their marriage successful is being willing to work through problems, even when it’s hard. They are willing to do whatever is necessary to repair their marriage.  There is no greater security to marriage, then partners working together to save their marriage.

submitted by www.mrmarriagesaver.com

A Guide To Visiting Your In-Law In Another Country

Today the world is a global village. People from every corner of the country are meeting one another in different cosmopolitan cities around the world and falling in love. But as people fall in love and their relationship progresses, they must come to terms with each others cultural, religious and social background.  If you have married someone from another country, here are some tips on how to make sure that your visit to your in-laws is smooth and as problem free as possible.

1.  First of all, know your partner’s culture. What he or she thinks or does may not always reflect the country they belong to.  Gather information about the social and cultural background of your partner. If he or she comes from a conservative country, but acts liberal, that does not mean that your in-laws will be as open-minded as your mate.  When you go to your partner’s country, make sure you take the time to familiarize yourself with the various social customs.

2.  It a good idea to know how the people dress and socially interact in the country of your partner. For example, if you are going to the Middle East or to an African nation, the women there are expected to dress modestly.  Many western countries have a different definition of what represents modest attire. Make sure you know the dress code of your in-laws formal parties unless you present yourself as an exotic flamboyant character!

3.  Eating habits are different in most countries. You can eat with your hands in many Asian and African countries. No one will find it offensive or inappropriate. But in other countries, if you don’t know which spoon or fork you are supposed to  use with your meal, you will be considered an ill-mannered person.

4.  Greeting methods are also different among nations and cultures. If you visiting a Middle East country that has a Muslim background, it may be prohibited to greet a female with a kiss or hug.  And if your husband is from India or other south-Asian country, you may have to learn the proper way of greeting your elders.

5.  Food can be a barrier when it comes to cross cultural/religious marriages and partnerships. What is prohibited in one society can be the main dish in another. If you are offered any particular dish that you are not comfortable eating, it is better that you refuse it politely. To avoid an embarrassing situation, let your partner tell his/her family prior to the visit, what you eat and don’t eat. But if you are an adventurous type, you may welcome trying out new dishes from another culture.

6.  Holidays and festivals are often a concern between partners who come from a different religious background. The best option is to celebrate and participate in the religious and cultural beliefs of each other. However, if you are uncomfortable about it, be sure to share your feelings with your partner on this sensitive issue that effects you both.  Keep in mind that people from the same religion do not always have the same festivals or practice the same rituals. There are many holidays particular to one country, that although they share the same religious background they might not celebrate the same way. So take the time to learn about your partner’s religious holidays or festivals if it differ from yours. It will encourage you and your partner to participate in what you both hold dear to you.

submitted by www.mrmarriagesaver.com