MRNspace.com

Brand New Website!

2011-09-08T17:51:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my new website! It updates M - F. And just like my penis, it will continue to grow & get bigger. (as long as I keep taking the pills) Please feel free to share with EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING YOU KNOW! Also, please feel free to visit all my sponsors. The more you visit, the more money I have to feed my children. Well, they aren't really MY children, but they ARE children, and they work much harder when they have food.

Thank you to all 300,000+ unique visitors!

2011-08-16T14:51:00.001-04:00

Thank all of you who have visited this little site over the past couple of years. More than 300,000 individual people from around the world have visited this site, and it's had more than half a million total views. But now ... MRN is dead, long live Michael Noll.

I'm starting a new website next month that is using professional servers and will allow me to greatly expand my viewership. I hope all of you will follow. Thank you so much, it's been a great run, i killed many men, and the blood of the unbelievers will replenish us and make us whole.

Love you,

MRN ... Michael Noll

What You Can and Can't Use Facebook For!

2010-11-04T16:16:00.024-04:00

I noticed a lot of you have been misusing Facebook. A lot of the mistakes you are making are mistakes that I once made. Let me help you jerks.

What you CAN use Facebook for:

- Getting attention, because that is what you use instead of food and water now. It's what I use.

- Spying on people you used to know, hoping they get fat.

- Posting pictures to make it look like you had more fun at a party than you actually did.

- Sending drunken messages that you will really regret on multiple levels the next day.

- Looking for nip slips in the pictures of your sluttiest female friends.

- Showing people every single meal you eat, every single day of your awful life. People really want to see what your turkey sandwich looks like. They wait for that from the moment they wake up, post a picture of their breakfast, and get ready for their day. Once noon rolls around they expect to know that you are eating the most fancy hipster turkey sandwich in the history of the world, a turkey sandwich that has thick oversized glasses with no lenses and has an ironic tattoo on the toasted bread. If I didn't see a picture of your sandwich, if I didn't know what your overly complicated lunch looked like, well, I would just die. I would just up and GD die!

- Being passive aggressive and sarcastic. No really, really, I just love that sooooooo much.

- Clicking "like" on your own posts. Then commenting on your own posts that you like your own post, and clicking "like" on that too.

- Tagging friends when they didn't realize they were having a picture of them taken. A picture in which they look horrible, really at their worst.

- Saying every single thing to every single person you care about that you used to, and should still be saying IN PERSON or AT LEAST ON THE DAMN PHONE!

- Showing people what a bad speller you are. (Also, pointing out to people what a bad speller they are.)

- Letting people know that you are way sadder than they are.

- Showing people videos of the horrible music you like. Or showing people videos of the super indie music you pretend you like, but really nobody likes.

- Being a troll. Saying something outlandish and contrarian just to be a jerk and get angry responses. Do you know who else does things they shouldn't just to get attention? 3 year olds.

- Going on and on and on and on about how much in love you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You are so filled with love, you just can't help yourself. It's just bursting right out of your little body and onto your dirty keyboard. And everyone will know it's true love, because true love is expressed in simple sentences on facebook walls. It's just like the old days really, the days before the internet. Men and women would walk around the streets yelling at the top of their lungs, "I'm so in love, hey everybody, I'm so in love! I found the love of my life, I'm so happy! It's going to last forever!" And everyone around them would stop in their tracks and begin to loudly applaud. Many of the towns people would be in tears from the happiness they were sharing with you. Well, when you post about how in love you are, how happy you are with your girlfriend who is barely out of high school or your boyfriend who makes fun of your floppy boobs when you aren’t around, every single one of your facebook friends is dropping everything they were doing, standing up in front of their computer and applauding. Everyone is just, so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOO freakin' happy for you!

- Sending mass emails inviting me to a fashion show for some ghetto ass clothing line sponsored by Kelly Pavlik (For my friends around the world who don't know who Kelly Pavlik is, she's a 15 year old girl who boxes Mexicans and black guys while topless and sometimes wins but lately mostly loses. She's adorable.) That looks really classy, I can't wait to attend. I also can't wait to get 50 mass emails from you and your horrid friends who all send me the same thing. Nothing like going to a fashion show to see the latest line of t-shirts covered in abstract pictures of barbed wire.

- Saying things like, "I'm going to delete my facebook," just so you can get all your friends to beg and plead with you not to, or "Nobody likes me," so they'll all leave you comments telling you how much they love you, even though you are probably right and they don't really care for you much, probably because you‘re a pussy. Or leaving confusing dark messages that turn out to be song lyrics, but freak everybody out, because it sounds like you are suicidal and not just copying and pasting song lyrics from Kings of Leon.

- Being a hypocrite when you make fun of people's posts that are really, really similar to posts you left. my bad: http://www.facebook.com/michaelnoll

Here is what you CAN'T use facebook for:

Any kind of intelligent conversation about ANYTHING EVER! Don't try!

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

MRN Interviews: Stepdad!

2010-10-25T05:20:00.016-04:00

I recently interviewed one of my favorite new bands, Stepdad. Stepdad and Justin Bieber are the future of music.

MRN: First of all, let me just say it’s a pleasure to interview you. Since my real father wont speak to me, this is about as close as it gets.

Stepdad: (no response)

MRN: Where did the name Stepdad come from? Was it based on a molestation incident? Sort of like how Dave Matthews Band got their name?

Stepdad: It was part of a phrase randomly generated by a computer. In the future, all bands will start this way.

MRN: I'm not sure about that. But I am sure that Dave Matthews molested like a 24 Pakistanis. Allegedly. There, I'm covered legally now. You have a song titled “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails.” Do you worry about offending PETA and Asian women?

Stepdad: At this point in PETA's agenda, I don't believe that vandalizing coats made out of humans is a priority. It is likely more a matter in the jurisdiction of the FBI. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be legal precedent to prosecute for the use of metaphor.

MRN: Your music has been described as a cross between Pantera and Ke$ha … by me. How do you sleep at night?

Stepdad: I cannot refute the cultural impact of classics like "Cemetery Gates" and "Phrases Recorded Between Hospitalizations for Alcohol Poisoning and Subsequently Autotuned - Part 3" (or whatever Ke$ha's new single is called). I can however state that we cite our biggest influences as The Beach Boys, Tears for Fears, Talkings Heads, Gary Numan, and others in that vein. In answer to your inquiry, typically with the ingestion of Ambien CR and Bourbon.

MRN: I noticed there are no Hispanics in the band. Is this because you are still angry at them for bombing Pearl Harbor?

Stepdad: No. It is because the ancient nation of Hispania fell with the decline of the Roman Empire and takeover by the Visigoths in the early centuries of the common era.

MRN: You have a beard. What’s that like? I tried to grow a beard. It was all patchy and ended up looking like pubes.

Stepdad: When it's really short, it's a bit itchy. If you tough out the first few weeks, it's all smooth sailing from there. It serves as a wonderful food catcher as well.

MRN: Your video for “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails” made me think I was on the drugs. I’ve never done the drugs. Is that what drugs would make me see?

Stepdad: Save the other side effects of drug use, which can include imaginary conversations about death with strangers on subways [true story], yes; drugs are a bit like that.

MRN: Your music is truly great, and unique. However your myspace page has 2,702 friends and John Mayer has 504,302 friends. Does that ever make you believe there is no God? Does it make you question the point of your existence? Jessica Simpson submitted this question.

Stepdad: John Mayer is actually a hilarious guy. His songwriting style is definitely geared toward a more adolescent and delusional female market, but I would hang with that dude any day. And just to avoid beef, I'd probably politely wave at Jessica Simpson in passing.

MRN: What is your favorite John Mayer song? Is it the one where he sings like a little woman so he can get into the tight pants of a drunk washed up celebrity? That’s my favorite song.

Stepdad: I'm going to be quite forthright by saying that I used to work at a casino which quite frequently rotated "Waiting on the World to Change" over the loudspeakers and I have been caught whistling the guitar solo to it once or twice. [Stepdad would like to inform you that this is solely the view of Ultramark and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cobrazebra or Optimus Fives.]

MRN: I like your band. I like your names, it's like if Transformers had a band. What are some of the big things ahead for Stepdad? Shaving? New videos? John Mayer covers?

Stepdad: We've been chiseling away at out LP for quite a while. It's going to be called Wildlife Pop and should be done towards the end of the year. Ultramark recently shaved for a court appearance, but is currently regrowing his luscious mane. There are certainly more videos to come, we will have another video out before the release Wildlife Pop. No John Mayer covers in the works at the moment, but we have covered Ace of Base, the cover can be found here: http://soundcloud.com/stepdadmusic/stepdad-never-gonna-say-im-sorry-ace-of-base-cover

MRN: Who is your favorite Beatle? Living Beatle I mean. And obviously I’m excluding Paul McCartney. He didn’t do much.

Stepdad: All of them, along with Bob Dylan and Ravi Shankar (for showing them drugs and sitars, respectively).

MRN: What is the future for Stepdad? And just in general, what is the future?

Stepdad: Wildlife Pop LP coming soon. International Superstardom to follow. By the close of the decade an amendment to the constitution will allow Stepdad to collectively accept the responsibilities of the Presidency of the United States.

MRN: Ever consider doing a tour with the band “Say Hi To Your Mom?” Or maybe my own band, “My Dad Left My Mom And Eventually Ended Up Marrying A Woman Who Was Unclean And Got A Penis Disease?” It’s a side project from my main band, “Dave Matthews Band 2."

Stepdad: Our current plans do include touring in the future, likely with our buddies in Nightlife (nightlifepop.com), Gobble Gobble (myspace.com/leatherjowels), or Nathan K. (myspace.com/nathankmusic). Listen to all of them!

MRN: Ever kill a man?

Stepdad: We have been told after performances that we "killed it". Count it.

MRN: Where can people buy your stuff? I looked everywhere in Walmart but found nothing.

Stepdad: You can purchase our EP for a dollar or more (your choice, it used to be free but the website told us not to do that anymore) at stepdad.bandcamp.com. If you come to our shows you can buy posters. T-shirts and online store coming soon. Go to stepdad.us to keep up on all the latest news, as well as stray and useless thoughts that happen into our stupid brains.

MRN: Well Stepdad, it's been a pleasure for you and I highly recommended everyone check out your band, as well as Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, The Beatles and Rammstein. I didn't mention Rammstein, but I just really like Rammstein.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

What I've Learned

2010-09-10T15:17:00.022-04:00

I haven’t posted in a while because of life. It can be really painful and hard. That’s what she said. Even though I haven’t posted in forever, you jerks, I mean you readers, I mean you jerk-readers scum still visit this site. I’ve had over 200,000 unique views from strangers all over the world, but then again, so has your mom. Stop visiting. You think I like this? Nobody likes this. 200,000 people, where's my million dollars?!

I’ve learned a lot of important things about myself and about life in recent weeks. So here are all the unimportant things I’ve learned:

- Violence never solves anything, except for all your problems.

- The quickest way to a man’s heart isn’t food, unless that food has parasitic worms.

- I like white heads more than black heads, but it’s not like that.

- Let go, let God … does not apply for anything involving heights.

- Don’t fear change. Except for nickels.

- It’s ok for a grown man to feel sad, and even cry. Just make sure you change your tampon first.

- A dog is truly man’s best friend. And even your best friend is going to make a runny poop on your carpet.

- Humor can help you get through painful times. Said the guy in the clown wig during my rape.

- No one ever said life was going to be fair. Except for my third grade teacher, Mrs. Alexander. Lying whore.

- People spend so much time and money collecting stuff. You can’t take it with you when you die. Unless you put it inside your butt.

- I used to be a pessimist. Now I’m an optimist. It probably wont last.

- You gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them. Does not apply to testicles.

- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! Fool me three times, well you're just kind of a dick then.

- The best part about therapy is having an emotionally detached, impartial, and rational person who has a scientific understanding of how the mind works to help guide you through your own thoughts and feelings … that and the balloons.

- When life hands you lemons, you can sell them, but not for very much, because nobody really likes lemons.

- Some of the nicest people I know are atheist, some of the most peaceful people I know are Muslim, some of the most generous people I know are Jewish. Too bad they're all going to hell.

- I once complained that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. That asshole had my shoes!

- But the most important unimportant thing I've learned is that baby monkeys love riding backwards on top of little pigs. But who doesn't?

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Restaurant Review: The King of Kings!

2010-06-01T21:42:00.035-04:00

After weeks of trying unsuccessfully to make reservations over the phone, I decided to just go ahead and see If I could be lucky enough to get a table. I figured it was a long shot, but to my great surprise, I must have arrived at just the perfect time. There were very few diners at the local restaurant called Burgèr King.

Once I arrived, I noticed the handsome combination of light brick and colorful plastic that helped to accent the large glass windows. A combination of traditional early American and modern design. The large glass windows gave a sense of openness and welcoming. The bright and drastic color motif told me immediately to be prepared for something daring and exciting for my palate.

I entered the establishment at the side entrance. I was there for an early supper menu. I must have arrived to early for the valet service. Once inside I noticed so many beautiful things, it was almost more than ones eyes and ears could handle. But after taking a deep breath, I soaked in all of the sights and sounds. A smorgasbord of delightful colors, lights, and beeping noises soon became the backdrop for what would be one of the greatest meals I have ever had the great privilege of eating. More on that later.

After taking a moment to soak in the ambiance, I made my way to the maitre d. A French man dressed in what was obviously the latest in French fashions. He wore layers of faux worn plaid shirts and sweat pants. He had a very strong and almost pungent odor, obviously after a lunch of fine Brie de Meaux cheese. He had a small placard with him that said something in French that I could not translate. "Needmon ey forfood." I asked him if there was an available table without having a reservation. He said something that to the untrained ear, would sound like mere gibberish. But I recognized as someone from the Saint-Étienne of France.

As is, I suppose customary, I handed him a 20 dollar bill, to help my chances of getting a table. It indeed worked. He gestured to an empty table in the main dining room. He then reached into his pants and aggressively scratched his genitals. But of course, this is also customary for a French man.

I sat at my table and waited for my server. But after 20 minutes had gone by, I realized that this was not dining in the 20th century, this was very much a dining experience for the new millennium. Gone were the old fashioned notions of table service, this dining experience demanded participation and full immersion of oneself. Empiricism was the point, and while not on the menu, truly as important as the dishes served. In other words, I had to get up and go to a counter.

The menu was not in a leather bound book, but instead was right above for all to see. Sort of a communal menu, part of the diners shared experience. I asked the waitress at the counter, "what is your specialty, what would you recommend to a foody on his first visit?" Without any hesitation the waitress replied, "Number 2." They number their entrées. Another novel invention. "Number 2 it will be then, and may I have a wine list?" Apparently they do not serve wine. But as the waitress pointed out, "We got Hawaiian Punch, that like wine." Having never had the pleasure of sampling Hawaiian beverages, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. "A Hawaiian punch it will be then!" "You can get it over there," she replied.

Having the patron take part in the service of their own meal really did take me into the whole experience. I felt as though I was not simply a spectator, but instead truly a participant. And my participation would be greatly rewarded by the main course. This reminded me of the Peruvian beach restaurant encounters of my youth. Oh those were the days. What a buoyant and keen young man I was. But those tales of mischief and sometimes hijinks are better reserved for another time.

After my wait of what seemed like only 1 minute, my main course was handed to me on a colorful tray. The main course was a gourmet sandwich that was carefully wrapped in dyed paper, to keep it at the perfect temperature. The side item was a kind of fried cut potato, similar in every way to a French dish known as a "fry."

I carefully perused the beef sandwich called a Whoppèr. I was first taken aback by the lush greens, and bright red tomatoes that lied on a flame broiled, what I assumed was a, ground Kobe beef patty. It was smothered with what tasted like melted goat-milk cheese. There was a unique sauce, clearly meant for a sophisticated connoisseur of fine food. The French styled fried potato strings, were a perfect compliment to the beef sandwich. Light, crispy, and perfectly seasoned.

I see why it is called the Burger King, it was a meal for a king. I am humbled and honored to have had the privilege of enjoying such nouvelle cuisine.

★ ★ ★ ★ out of four stars.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute
Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

MRN Interviews: Pictora!

2010-05-04T02:12:00.009-04:00

I sat down the other day. In other news here is an interview with Sean from the band Pictora:

MRN: I noticed you have a woman singing in the band. How does she balance being a lead singer in a band, and cooking 4 meals a day? And have you noticed the meals beginning to suffer?

Pictora: She is doing just fine with balancing it out. I think. I don't know, I never asked her. She has been locking herself in her room quite a bit lately and just crying herself to sleep. So she must be OK, cause I always have trouble falling asleep.

　
MRN: Pictora's sound seems to have a lot of electronic influences. According to the “Ordnung,” the only righteous list of rules according to me and Amish, your use of electricity is flashy, arrogant, and worldly. Are you afraid of alienating your Amish fans? The only true and good people who will live on forever as you perish in the fiery, unforgiving flames of hell?

Pictora: This has nothing to do with the actual answer to the question, but an Amish man once threw a potato at me. I don't know why. He ran off laughing. I did nothing about it too. Something like that catches you so off guard and leaves you frozen. I think I was actually catatonic for 2 months after this. I just remember kind of snapping out of it and I had a full beard. Still have the beard to remind me of what the Amish are capable of.

MRN: How many covers of “Air Supply” can the typical “Air Supply” fan expect at your shows? There’s only one right answer.

Pictora: Oh boy. Now you want me to get started on Air Supply. When I first started this band, I was deeply entrenched in the AS (Air Supply) album Life Support, their 1979 concept album. And I thought this is the "new" sound I wanted. However, while the sound was right it was the lack of structure that still gave me doubts to head in that direction. It was shortly after when I was at an "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance for my school that I heard AS "All Out of Love". I immediately phoned my cousin and had him listen to it. It was set in place, Pictora had found it's new sound. We began working on stuff influenced by AS, but were unable to capture or shall I say at least do justice by it. So we moved on to just covering a few tracks, "Even the Nights are Better", "I Can't Wait Forever" which is from the Ghostbusters soundtrack to name a few. All in all, in the end we had 17 AS tracks that we were covering. So to answer your question, you can expect zero AS songs from us. ASCAP and BMI are bitches about that.

　
MRN: When I listen to your new songs, I think of artists like P.J. Harvey, Gnarls Barkley and of course Hoobastank. Big Hoobastank fans?

Pictora: We are fans of the early stuff. Isn't that what everyone says about every band? The other two, PJ Harvey and Gnarls Barkley, never heard of them. They sound like NBA players.

MRN: The band is made up of Sean Tress, Aspasia Lyras, George Lyras, Matt Celio, Alan Williams, and Brendan Gaunter. Two of the members of the band are married. Judging by the names, I would assume that’d be Matt, and Alan. Does the sexual tension among band members come across in the music? The way it does for Linkin Park?

Pictora: You are somewhat right. The band lineup is of myself (married), Aspasia (married), Alan (married), George (dating), Matt (single), and Brendan (bi-curious and not really in the band). Our sexual tension is currently at missionary but slowly working our way to reverse cowboy. We are new at this. It's like when you begin dating someone. The first time is all soft and lovely, which no one wants, but you don’t want to be the crazy one to suggest a rusty trombone on the first date. We do try to keep it personal and not talk about it interviews or mix it in our music. Linkin Park has a whole thing of their own with the mix of sex and music. They obviously were the first to actually capitalize on this.

MRN: What was the motivation to start this band? And what are some of your influences? (This is real question!!! WTF?!!)

Pictora: You serious? We are going from Barbara Walters tear in the eye rusty trombone gold to this? Motivation is our passion and pure deep love for music. To do it for the fans. To have the ability through art to move someone, or perform for them with that one show that can change someone's life. Or better yet, change the world for the better with the power of music!!! Motivation in our eyes is unnecessary. Who would not want to do this? Who would not want to become this powerful and stupid rich by making music? Do you realize the control of the world I could have just by writing stupid songs. As far as influences, probably Lex Luther.
　

MRN: Tell me about the name of the band, “Pictora.” When I think of Pictora, I think of pictures, when I think of pictures, I think of pornography, when I think of pornography, I think of 18 year old Asian girls, with smacked bottoms and pixilated genitalia. Is that what you were going for in the name?

Pictora: Why do they pixelate the genitalia? And since they do, why not just play it on NBC on Thursday nights. Can you imagine primetime porn? That would stop this "Lost" craze. But about the name, Pictora actually is Latin for "MRN eye pleasure".
　

MRN: This question came from a website that had ideas of what to ask bands in interviews: Where is your hometown? Do the people who are black at home support you? (you could point out the typo for “black” instead of “back” if you want)

Pictora: Ha, this question is great. Like a Channel One interview question. I saw an interview with Taylor Swift with questions just like this so I will just repeat her answers. "I don't have a hometown. I been roaming from town to town shacking up with any stranger in return for unspeakable favors." She went on to say, "People who are black at home probably have no fucking clue who I am." Taylor Swift was not at all how I imagined her.

MRN: Something a lot of music fans are talking about lately is the influence of artists like Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. They’re really raising the bar. Have you felt the pressure to compete?

Pictora: I can understand the Lady Gaga thing, but Justin Bieber? Who the hell is this child? What does he do? Why? Seriously world, why? Shouldn't he be in school getting his ass kicked during recess. It helps build character. Does anyone know that he plays trumpet? He plays trumpet and isn't in the school band. Seriously, what's the point of this boy?

MRN: I knew this Pakistani girl once who was like almost completely covered in dark hair. Like a wolf girl. Sometimes I would just stare at her neck and look at the part she shaved. It looked like little black ants trying to escape her body. What does Pictora think of the recent health care legislation passed by congress?

Pictora: Ah, the Nadia of your life, Sayid. The band itself has a mixed view on healthcare legislation. I mean we all agree in principle on the matter. Everyone can have healthcare if they want it. Insurers will not be able to stop coverage to those that have become unemployed and medical costs should be blah blah blah blah.... I am rich. I can pay a doctor to remove your (MRN) heart and give it to me to use for a game of kickball. So imagine what kind of attention I can get when I really need that heart or brain transplant. Are you telling me that doctors or technology can't perform a brain transplant? Well then I'm telling you, apparently you are unaware of what a real healthcare plan will cover. So let's get back to it Congress.

MRN: When and where can people see you play?

Pictora: We are playing several shows in NYC, then skip through PA (again the Amish hate), and will play Ytown and several other Ohio towns, and continue to work our way to Chicago where we will playing the weekend of the Pictchfork festival at the Elbo Room. Then back again to NYC. I think. I am really unaware of where I am suppose to be.
　
MRN: Is this venue within 100 feet of a school or daycare?

Pictora: No. We wanted to make sure you would be able to attend.

Check out Pictora's music and touring info here!

And check out pixelated images of nude Japanese women here!

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Ninja Pictures!

2010-05-02T05:59:00.005-04:00

If you're like me, then you are posting to your website from a prison computer while your cell-mate gives you a very physically, and emotionally painful back massage. But you also probably LOVE ninjas! They are awesome in every way, and here are some of the best pictures of the worlds greatest ninjas:

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Aw, that's nice.

2010-03-24T09:27:00.006-04:00

For like the next month, nearly everything I'm posting will be nice, cute and things that only 13 year old girls would enjoy. This isn't just part of my ultimate goal of having an audience made up entirely of 13 year old girls, it's also because the internet has become an ugly and hateful place. I may or may not have in some way slightly contributed to that just a tiny bit. But whatever, now I'm sick of it.

Life is too short for all the cynicism, and blind hatred. For the next month I'm crappin' rainbows and kittens. Deal with it.

See ... that was nice.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Offend Youngstown With MRN!

2010-03-20T23:23:00.013-04:00

This Monday, March 22nd I, MRN, your secret lover, will be the maid of honor at the Monday Discussion Series at the popular Youngstown, Ohio establishment, The Lemon Grove.

Known for it's delicious foods which you can eat, and affordable succulent drink prices, The Lemon Grove is a mecca for bands, art, and most importantly ... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Mwa Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!

I will be there to speak about, and answer your retarded questions about, Offend Youngstown! The sexually stimulating, baller-ass facebook group I created, the same way Jesus created wine. Offend Youngstown On Facebook!

Now, it's my understanding that this group and this event, which is a Valley 24.com BEST BET, has created some controversy in the City of Youngstown. Apparently some humorless dumb-dumbs, have their panties all stuck up inside of their vaginas.

Relax, take the tampon out, and just lie back and enjoy it. It's just a bit of fun.

So come have some "fun!" It begins at 7pm sharp. Feel free to cheer, hold up clever campaign style signs, enjoy a healthy amount of possibly clothed MRN, and then stay after the hate, for the love, which will be made by the band Jones For Revival.

Come to this, be early, and have a nice confusing evening. xoxoxo

- MRN

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

MRN Face! Part 1!

2010-03-10T00:45:00.012-05:00

When I was born, I came out my momma's butt and the doctors said, "Oh my god! He has two umbilical chords!" But they were wrong. One was a penis. They weren't sure which. So now I have both. And they are both awesome. And because I've been so blessed, I walk through life making an awesome face. The most awesome face of all time, it's called the MRN Face, and I'm obviously the first and only person to make it.

The MRN Face:

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

THE OSCARS 2010: MRN LIVE BLOGGING!

2010-03-07T17:13:00.060-05:00

Live Oscar Commentary Tonight! Hit REFRESH on your browser about every 15 minutes.

8:27pm: I just turned on the Red Carpet thing. It's pretty much over, I didn't see any of the dresses. So, sorry gays, but I can't comment on this part. However, I can guess. Sarah Jessica Parker wore a lovely saddle, and Mo'Nique still hasn't shaved her legs. (seriously, google it, you'll throw up in your mouth)

8:30pm: And the gay superbowl begins!

8:33pm: Doogie Howser just sang some song. I don't know, I got distracted by a corn chip that looks like a wiener. I ate it, which I felt kind of weird about.

8:43pm: Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did some jokes about the nominees. Boring, pg, safe, dumb, jokes. Not a single penis joke.

8:44pm: First award of the night. Best supporting actor goes to ... Christoph Waltz. I was right. I'm always right. He was great in Inglorious Basterds. Probably one of my favorite Nazi's ever. I mean, there's a lot, but probably my favorite.

8:59pm: Best Animated movie goes to ... Up. I'm two for two in my predictions. It was great. I didn't cry, because I'm a man, but ... I felt feelings and I had a period while I watched it.

9:01pm: Miley Cyrus and some other little girl are giving out the reward for best orginal song. I don't like her voice, it's really deep. Like Darth Vader deep. All the original songs are stupid. I predict the song from The Weary Heart will win. And of course, as always ... I was right! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am a god. That's probably too much. But I'm like an Indian God or something. If they can have an elephant head lady, they can have MRN.

9:12pm: Robert Downey Jr. and the chick with the scar on her face are about to give the award for best original screenplay. They're being funny. I like them. They may live. I picked Quentin Tarantino and the winner is ... what?! What?! The guy from The Hurt Locker won?! BOLLOCKS! Well, i missed one, and now it looks like The Hurt Locker might win best picture. Even though, nobody saw it, and nobody cares about it. Way to go Oscars, way to make yourself increasingly irrelevant by picking movies nobody sees and nobody really cares about. Asses.

9:17pm. Molly Ringwald and Ferris Bueller! Man, I used to LOVE Molly Ringwald when I was a kid. I probably jerked it to her almost as much as Princess Leia. But I was kinda young, so only air, and confusion would come out. They are introducing a piece about John Hughes. Who made a ton of awesome movies from the 80's that I loved and still love.

9:28pm: Now a couple of hunnies are giving out the award for best Short Film. I wish this show was short.

Some French guy just won for best short animated movie that nobody will EVER see in their entire lives. Congrats. Frenchy. But his acceptance speech was nice. So he may live.

9:33pm Best documentary short goes to ... does it really matter? I wish the Cavs were playing right now, I'm bored. A gay black guy and a some old Jewish Lady are talking about ... does it really matter?

9:35pm Best animated short. I want a gun so I can just end things right now, this is going on FOREVER. Yay, The New Tenants won! Yay, I don't know what the eff that is, yay!

9:38pm: Ben Stiller is dressed as a Na'vi from Avatar. Sacha Baren Cohen was supposed to do this bit too, but the producer of the Oscars is friends with James Cameron and thought he might be offended. Google it. Also Google "two girls one cup" while you are busy googling things. The Award for best makeup goes to ... Star Trek! Woo! Oops, i told my gf, it would be The Young Victoria and she kinda thought it would be Star Trek. She listened to me. And she's a makeup artist in Hollywood. So ... my bad. Sorry babe. But you gotta love my enthusiasm!

9:49pm: Best Adapted Screenplay. First I picked Precious, then changed it to Up In The Air ... and damn! Precious won. Always go with your gut!!!!!!

9:55pm Robbin Williams, famous for Old Dogs and RV, in giving out the award for best supporting Actress. I say it's Mo'nique. I will be right about this. I really wish she would shave her legs, but she was great in precious. She deserves it. ... And the winner is ... Mo'nique! Ok, i'm back on track!

10:06pm Sigourney Weaver (I think that's how she spells it?) is giving the award for production design, and I picked Avatar, and ... Avatar won! Again, I'm back on track.

10:09pm: Sarah Jessica Parker is giving out an award for best costume design. Gay people, please stop trying to tell us that she's attractive, she's not. She looks like she has a giant vagina. I picked The Young Victoria and ... The Young Victoria won! I'm really back on track. I'm on fire.

10:18pm: Twilight kids are introducing a video about Horror movies. I'm gonna use the bathroom. I have to pee, but I'm going to sit down for it, because I'm not completely sure that's all I have to do. I already had a BM earlier today, but I just feel like there might be more in there. BRB.

10:24pm: It was a false alarm. Hurt Locker won for sound editing, I picked Avatar. I didn't see Hurt Locker, but I don't like it. I liked Avatar. The Oscars are stupid. Suck it Oscars! Unless I ever win one. Then I'll suck it : /

Now Sound mixing, I Picked Avatar and again, freaking nobody gives a fancy crap about it, Hurt Locker wins! The hell with the hurt locker. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE HURT LOCKER YOU STUPID ELITIST PANTY LICKERS! NO WONDER NOOOOOOOOOBODY CARES ABOUT THE OSCARS ANYMORE. THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE BY FAR IS GETTING EFFED IN THE A, FOR A MOVIE THAT 3 PEOPLE WILL SEE! SUCK ME!

10:28pm: I'm sleepy. This is boring. I like it that when i fold up my arm, my elbow looks like a butt. Gross. Should I put my finger in it?! Oh man ... I'm doing it. Siiiiiiiiiiiiick! That was sooooo gay!

10:35: Sandra Bollock announces that Avatar guy won for best cinematography. Crap basket! I picked Hurt Locker for this one! Tits!

10:37: Ashton Kutcher's cougar is introducing the dead people. And the audience is applauding for the ones they are most happy are dead.

10:45pm: J-Ho and Avatar are introducing best music. Oh no ... dancers. Sigh. Jesus, my lord and savior why do you have to mock me with dancers?!

10:52pm: And after like 20 minutes of dancing that nobody cared about the winner for best score is Up. Which deserved it! And which I picked! Finally they are not making a mockery of life anymore.

10:54pm: Visual Effects Award goes to ... if it's not Avatar, then the people who pick this award should just go ahead and find a way to shove their entire heads into their anal cavities. ... The winner is ... Avatar. Another I got right. Worship me! Kinda!

11:04pm: The Cove won for best documentary. I think it was about dolphins. My watery enemies. Remember they aren't smiling, their faces are just born that way. Don't trust them. I didn't pick this to win, but I also didn't care. I wonder what a dolphin tastes like. Probably tastes like victory.

11:06pm: Tyler Perry is doing something.

Best film editing goes to: I picked Avatar and so of course the winner is The Hurt Locker. Again. No good.

11:08pm: This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING. I SHOULD BE WATCHING CARTOONS OR AT LEAST DRUNK RIGHT NOW. THIS IS PAINFUL!!!!!!!! I'm declaring it now ... I'm saying it ... The Oscars are so over! They jumped the shark, then went back and gave it a succulent reach around. They gave a reach around to a shark!

11:15pm: Quentin and some other dude are introducing the best foreign film nominees. Ching Chong Chang, Yaba Daba Do, Click Click Click, and The White Ribbon. And the winner is Blarg Blah Blumkin Queef. I might have spelled that wrong. Oscars, congratulations, this show is the most boring thing in the history of everything. How about not sucking next time? I don't know if I even want to ever win one of these. I'd have to show up to this suck fest and sit through it for like 5 hours. Uhg. I'd rather sit at home, jerk it, eat pizza and play x-box. That's not true. I'm never gonna get an x-box : /

11:24pm: I wasn't paying attention. I don't know what all these bitches are doing on stage.

Oh, they are giving out the award for best actor. Jeff Bridges should win. But maybe they'll give it to The Hurt Locker just to continue being dicks.

This is going on forever. BTW, fun fact, Morgan Freeman is having sex with his step daughter. Nice. Google it.

Ok, so while all this verbal fellatio takes place, I want to point out that the reason nobody cares about award shows anymore is because they are so self important, politically correct, and dull.

And Kate Winslet (who i've seen naked in every single movie she ever did, good thinking) announces the best actor ... the winner is .... Jeff Bridges! Ok, i got another one. But my picks are sucking almost as much as the Oscars : /

11:41pm: Blabbidy bla bla bla ... and the Oscar for best girl actor goes to ... after 40 minutes of build up ... Sandra Bullock! Yay, i got another one. She deserved it.

11:52pm: Barbara Streisand, who always finds a way to make my penis invert, is talking about the first woman or first black guy could win for best director. I think they are going to give it to a woman, for the stupid Hurt Locker. Even though her ex husband, James Cameron deserves to win it. And the winner goes to ... Kathryn Bigelow, which I predicted, but not because she deserved it.

11:58pm: And now the guy from Turner and Hooch, Tom Hanks came out and quickly gave the award to the movie nobody saw, will see, or cares about, The Hurt Locker. This is the reason people are not really watching The Oscars anymore. They pick movies that are ok, but not really that great, and give them the big awards. When a groundbreaking, amazing movie like Avatar comes out, they get screwed. Way to go Oscars, you have once again proven you are irrelevant. So ... right here Academy Awards, ... deez nuts.

Another waste of an evening by out of touch Hollywood! Thanks for nothing! Next year I'm watching Food Network : /

The Oscars are dead.

my pre-show predictions:

best picture: Avatar (got jipped by the Hurt Locker which nobody saw or cares about)
best actor: Jeff Bridges (I was right)
best actress: Sandra Bullock (I was right)
best director: Kathryn Bigelow (I was right)
best supporting actor: Christoph Waltz (I was right)
best supporting actress: Mo'Nique (I was right)
best original screenplay: Quentin Tarantino (b.s. the Oscars were wrong)
best adapted screenplay: Jason Reitman (I was right, the Oscars were wrong)
best animated: Up

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Best Chatroulette Screen Caps!

2010-03-02T08:51:00.004-05:00

Tired of going on Skype to see the penises and boobs of people you KNOW?! Well, thank Jeebus President Obama created a brand new website called Chatroulette.com! On Chatroulette you can go on webcam with complete and total strangers! What could possibly go wrong?

Here are some of my favorite screen captures from Chatroulette!

Kitchen.

This is how it began : /

What are the odds?

Nice Tats*

You thought you were sooo special.

Aw.

You gonna get raped!

I'm talking to the guys.

Do you have exercise in Estonia?

Breakthrough.

Obviously.

Dad?

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Photobombs 3!

2010-02-17T22:50:00.007-05:00

Back with part 3 of "Photobombs." Photobombs are when a person or animal ruins a picture. Ruining things is good. I've ruined pictures, lives, and most of my orifices.

Your excitement dissolved your chin.

You sir, are a national treasure.

Good boy.

Finally someone had the guts to puke what everyone was thinking. This wedding is a sham.

Even back in the day...

...dogs liked buttsex.

If MRN were a middle aged Japanese man ...

... all my dreams would come true.

I know right.

That's where poop and babies come from, it IS amazing.

Goddammit Dad ...

... stop coming to my proms!

That Bitch Be Like ...

... I don't respect your Asian girlfriend, ass.

Who?

... Is the real winner here?

Don't Judge...

... we all have hobbies : /

I've said it a million times ...

Black people do NOT respect goths.

First of all ...

First: How about eyes on the road hoebag.

Second: Whoever, or whatever you allowed to have sex with your vagina, gave you a devil child. That child is the devil. You should probably not tell the men you meet at bars about your devil child. They probably wont want to touch your vagina if they know the devil used to live in it.

Third: You have a nice smile, devil-vagina-unsafe-driver-lady.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Offend Youngstown!

2010-02-10T23:33:00.019-05:00

Facebook is a great way to connect to friends and family. Connecting to them by tagging them as a picture of cat balls.

But it's also a great way to calmly and intelligently discuss the important issues in the world and your community. And that is precisely why I created the facebook group "Did my man cheat because I have only one leg?"

However, that group never had a firm footing, so I created an even better group! A group about a community I sorta, kinda, almost live near, in a way, maybe, for now: Youngstown, Ohio!

A lot of people care a great deal about this mecca for crime, corruption, and poverty, and they created the group Defend Youngstown. Which is a great group, and they do great work. After all, if you spend any time in Youngstown, knowing how to defend yourself will probably keep you from being ass-rape-murdered.

Some people see the glass half full.

Some see it half empty.

I pooped in the glass, and Offend Youngstown on Facebook © was born!

To learn more about Youngstown, Ohio and the Offend Youngstown © group please watch the following documentary footage:

Comment. Join the group. ( o Y o )

10 Best Wizards Of All Time!

2010-02-09T22:54:00.007-05:00

In legends and fairy stories, a wizard is a man who has magic powers. Or sometimes he's just a drunk pervert with a beard, who convinces you he's a wizard, only to have you discover his "magic power" is nothing more than an arthritic finger and a compulsion. Last time I go to that park alone : /

10. Jafar

Powers:
- Magic
- Talking Gilbert Gottfried Parrot
- Member of Al Qaeda

9. Saruman

"We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend." ... gay!

Powers:
- Magic
- Persuasion
- Beard

8. Merlin

Powers:
- Magic
- Tantric Massage
- Defensive tackle for the Los Angeles Rams

7. Gandalf The Gray

Powers:
- Magic
- Midgets

6. Gilbert Arenas

Powers:
- 3 point shot
- Guns
- Black

5. Harry Potter

Powers:
- Magic
- Glasses

4. Dumbledore

Powers:
- Magic
- Dead (spoiler alert)

3. Mr. Wizard

Powers:
- Science
- Magic
- 3 point shot

2. Gandalf The White

Powers:
- Magic
- Born again
- White Power

1. Kitty Wizard

Powers:
- All of them.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

10 Best Movies Of 2009

2010-02-02T10:38:00.004-05:00

Since the Academy Awards weirdly (desperate attempt at driving up more interest for a show nobody watches anymore) now has 10 nominee's for best picture. Mostly good choices, but my list is better, more supple, and tight. I don't know what that means.

note: In a perfect world, Old Dogs would win every award ever, but we live in a sick world, with an angry God, so here are the 10 other best movies of last year:

10. 'Anvil! The Story of Anvil'
- It's the story of Anvil

9. Precious
- Oprah plays every part.

8. Star Trek
- Story of a young Luke Skywalker and his space friends.

7. Fantastic Mr. Fox
- Great makeup.

6. District 9
- District 8 was better.

5. Inglorious Basterds
- I learned a lot about WW2.

4. Zombieland
- You should take your young children to see it.

3. Where the Wild Things Are
- Kinda long Yeah Yeah Yeah's music video.

2. Up
- I wept like a young girl from start to finish, I even started my period during the movie.

1. Avatar
- 7foot naked smurfs in 3D! My prayers are finally being answered in life.

I haven't seen The Hurt Locker, A Serious Man, An Education, or 500 Days of Summer yet. But I've seen every other single movie including the ones you keep hidden in the back of your sock drawer, you sick sick people.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Music Wars! The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones vs Elvis vs Cameo

2010-02-01T21:40:00.011-05:00

Brand new edition to MRNspace: Music Wars!

4 Musical Acts Enter, One leaves. ... because the others are murdered. Well, not really murdered, but I just pick which one I like the most. And then I spend a year stalking them and murder them. Well not Elvis, he's already dead. But I will murder his family! Wait, wait I think I'm getting confused. Ok, so nobody gets "murdered" but still ... 4 Musical Acts Enter, but only One Survives! And is murdered.

1st:

The Beatles

Skills: Awesome Songs, Beard Growing, Fancy Outfits, Ringo

Weaknesses: Dying, Ringo

next:

The Rolling Stones

Skills: Awesome Songs (until the mid 80's,) Immortality, Karate

Weaknesses: Eating Disorders, Massive Drug Abuse, Poor Typing

next:

Elvis

Skills: Fancy Outfits, King of Rock n Roll, Karate

Weaknesses: Dead, Massive Drug Abuse, Athlete's Foot

next:

Cameo

Skills: Awesome Songs, Fancy Outfits, Black

Weaknesses: Dead? Maybe, nobody knows, Only one hit song, Black

- Beatles defeat Elvis, it was 4 to 1. Well, really 3 to 1, I'm not counting Ringo.

- Rolling Stones defeat Cameo, which shocked me because Cameo is black. But Charlie Watts stabbed him.

Which left it to Beatles vs. Rolling Stones.

Two Men Enter ... Each Other ... One Man Leaves.

Winner: ?

Your comments will decide.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

God Hates Lady Gaga! But MRN Loves Her.

2010-01-31T20:17:00.010-05:00

Those rascally silly-billies at the Westboro Baptist Church have a brand new target for their adorable hatred: Lady Gaga.

For those of you unfamiliar, the Westboro Baptist Church is pretty much made up of one batshit crazy family that really, really, no REALLY hates gay people. I mean they HAAAAAAAAATE the gays. They hate the gays sooooo much that they celebrate and hold up signs at the funerals of our U.S. soldiers. Why do they do this? Because we don't execute the gays like the Westboro Baptist Church would like.

They are just precious.

So with their infinite wisdom, besides enjoying the death of our soldiers and hoping that all Americans (other than them) die, they have turned their sights onto Lady Gaga. I don't even feel like making fun of her. And I make fun of EVERYONE. But not her. I know her vagina is probably filled with the same acid that is the blood for the Aliens in the Alien movies, and if I had sex with her, my penis would be burnt off, but I still refuse to make fun of her.

God apparently hates Lady Gaga:

Why does THAT turn me on?!

"You pissed off God, you'll see what he's got."

oooooh, you little bastards.

Here is the original, and less hate filled, but just as weird original version:

But The Westboro Baptist Church thinks that Lady Gaga and EVERYONE who likes her is going to Hell. Which means that the Westboro Baptist Church thinks I am going to hell. That's right, me, MRN! IS GOING TO HELL! LIKE HELL I AM!

GO TO HELL WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! SUCK IT, EAT IT, CHOKE ON IT, (i'm talking about my penis and me balls) AND DIE! ... YOU DUMB HORRIBLE SICKINING BITCHES!

Google Search Recommendations?!

2010-01-27T10:51:00.011-05:00

Google is a great way to ~~find porn~~ find information that you need. Information about ~~porn~~ any number of topics. However, either through mischief, or through accident, a lot of Google's search recommendations take you to a place you might not have intended to go. Sort of like that time I drank too much in that truck stop bathroom and fell asleep. I ended up making new friends and new appointments to my proctologist. That's a joke about being anally raped. ba da ching

Here are some of my favorite Google Search Recommendations! Part 1.

Can he?

... Yes. It's in the bible.

Discharge?!

... Because you're whore.

Asians.

... I'm responsible for most of those questions. Sorry : /

Fat Girlfriend.

... Your girlfriend weighs 310 pounds, and it's the best you will ever get because you are technically retarded and you have no genitals.

Italiano Browno

... Everybody likes a little bit of brown sugar in their cannoli every once in a while. That's a spicy meatball yo.

There are so many of them!

... again, my bad on this. I think I'm mostly responsible for it. It's just that, they have no peripheral vision and I fear that.

Of course they do.

And yes to all the pube questions.

I'm fun at picnics.

... your fruit salad is going to taste awesome!

Naturally.

... roar.

Chris Hanson.

... but I mostly hope she made lots of spaghetti.

*** Please visit my brand new website and enjoy the crap out of it: MN institute

Thank you very much. I love you. - MRN

Goodbye for now Coco!

2010-01-23T08:15:00.005-05:00

After getting ass-raped by dingle-berry licker, Jeff "Mother" Zucker, Cone Bone can now fly free (starting in September.)

Here is Conan, his band, Will Ferrell, Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, Beck, and Ben Harper singing Free Bird.

Conan died for our sins.

Never forget.

We remember all here at MRNspace.com. We remember all.

R.I.P. Arsenio Hall 1956 - Kinda still alive.

2 Movie Reviews! By Guest Contributor!

2010-01-22T04:23:00.005-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted as much lately. I've been busy with the Jersey Shore marathon and slowly killing myself. But here I am back and blacker than ever with 2 movie reviews by guest contributor: Cuntmaster 2000. She chose the name. "Judge yee not, yet you be the judge of stuff and things and dolphins and whatnot." That's a direct quote from the book of Mormon.

Spoiler Alerts for both reviews. Also, possibly an Amber Alert for both reviews:

Review 1.

Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Schlong.

They try to make you feel like Watson has reason to live vs engaging in Sherlock's shenanigans by giving Watson a fiance, and it doesn't work. You still don't care. They at least had better chemistry between them though than Robert Downey Jr. and Rachel McUgly. I literally fell asleep during one of their boring scenes together. Boring boring boring boring. The entire movie was boring. There were moments intended for pause and laughter, but the timing was off and left me feeling awkward and angry. It was all so boring and horrible I didn't even care about the occult, and I ALWAYS care about the occult. With all the dark magic and so-called spookiness, you'd think a satanist like me would spooge all over a pentacle, but nope, I didn't even touch myself, not once. I'm so damn bored even talking about the boredom, so let's just keep at this--don't waste your time or money on this shit bomb. They even open it up to a sequel. Who fucking cares. And one more thing, Watson should've died in a fire but came out of it with a papercut. Bull fucking shit. So stupid, all so very stupid.

Review 2.

The Princess And The Frog

This is going to be short because I'm still blubbering away like a baby. Disney has really got to stop killing off characters, especially not two in one movie, shit. I really don't like how they dealt with the second death because they made it OK just because they allude to an afterlife. Bull fucking shit. Kids, continue to be sad, he dead, ain't no reunions with loved ones after death, you just gone, suckas.

If you're in your twenties to mid thirties, you'll be happy to know it's a lot like the Little Mermaid and Aladdin. And it teaches bitches to be self-reliant and not rely on no man oh nuh uh, you work girl, you WORK, you get on your knees and you work it.

One last item of importance--I couldn't tell if the prince was black too, I don't think he was supposed to be, I think he was just tan which made me wonder if Disney was afraid to pale him up for fear of a too obviously interracial couple. If you know what the deal is, please do tell in comment below.

Welp, I think that's all I have to say, actually. Told you it would be short. Just like my stack of dimes dick. Suck it.

- Cuntmaster 2000

How Can We Have Sex? Educational Film.

2010-01-21T16:50:00.004-05:00

Yay, I've been doing it right! Alone, but right!

I Have A Dream: Auto Tuned!

2010-01-18T22:11:00.003-05:00

T-pain couldn't have said it better.