Mister Quickly's Customer Reviews

Mister Quickly gave 3 stars to: Three Uses of the Knife

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 02:11:36 GMT

Three Uses of the Knife: On the Nature and Purpose of Drama by David Mamet

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

David Dramamet, February 18, 2008

Through studying David Mamet's theories, I came to realise that a character can be understood not only through what they do, but also through what they say. My style has started to incorporate Mamet's technique of having characters talk, often to each other, as well as to express themselves through physical acts like gestures and walking. The education in this book has convinced me to abandon my earlier style, where characters have wordless internal monologues while not moving for a play's 2 or 3 hour duration.

3 stars.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Carole Bayer Sager

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 01:13:43 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Carole Bayer Sager ~ Carole Bayer Sager

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Carole 'Buy Her cds' Sager, January 28, 2008

I first heard the Carole Bayer Sager when she was played to me by my endocrinologist, Oliver Shale Condor.

His last words to me concerned "the primordial dwarves in the Pegasus room." Sadly, I never got to look at them through the two-way mirror.

Carole Bayer Sager puts it best:

"We almost sailed away one pearly dawn
But in the light of early morning
Ooo the wind blew in Whisperin
Some folks are not meant to win"

Sadly, you were not meant to win at not dying, Oliver.

Carole Bayer Sager. 5 stars.

Mister Quickly gave 4 stars to: Goya Codfish Batter Mix, Bacalaitos, 4.5-Ounce Packages (Pack of 24)

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 05:30:09 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Goya Codfish Batter Mix, Bacalaitos, 4.5-Ounce Packages (Pack of 24) by Goya Foods Inc

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Goya's Dream, January 26, 2008

The sign of a quality product is whether or not its existence is presaged for you in a dream during childhood. I dreamed of this Goya codfish batter mix. I was in an olive grove, Leo Sayer was playing, and then this Goya codfish batter mix --- startled, I awoke yelling "Bacalaitos", as though it were the name of a Spanish magician who was untying a silk handkerchief that had been blinding me. At last I could finally see.

With that being said, I prefer the Crab Place's more versatile Fish & Shrimp Batter sold here on Amazon. It can be used with codfish, basa, probably sea cucumber. Try it out.

4 stars.

Mister Quickly gave 3 stars to: Swiffer Wet Jet Starter Kit

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 05:20:54 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Swiffer Wet Jet Starter Kit by Swiffer

1 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

Kit for Mopping Aspirants, January 26, 2008

This product is a good to initiate the mopping novice but for the real professional reading this review you're going to want to remove most of your flooring in the kitchen and replace it with a mesh net and sturdy bracings. You will then place a removable tarp underneath the netting to catch everything you spill in the kitchen that sifts through the mesh, from cod batter mix, silica, phosphorus, anything you may be cooking with. It's an unusual method, but you'll find your floorspace much cleaner. And the tarp can be wrapped up without spilling it all over your basement. I like my basement clean because I have a vintage white rotary dial telephone collection there, one of North America's foremost collections.

So this Swiffer, while it does remove some dirt, is by far one of the lesser methods.

Mister Quickly gave 4 stars to: Samsung HLT5087SAX 50-Inch Slim LED Engine 1080p DLP HDTV

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:55:33 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Samsung HLT5087SAX 50-Inch Slim LED Engine 1080p DLP HDTV by Samsung

4 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

Slim LEDgend, January 22, 2008

This magnificent onyx rectangular viewing receptacle has vivacious crispness and doubles as a capable scrying medium during twilight.

4 stars Samsung.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Mortal Kombat

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:21:56 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Mortal Kombat: A Novel by Martin Delrio

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Combattimento Mortale, August 10, 2007

Based upon the popular film Mortal Kombat, 'Mortal Kombat: A Novel' is beginning to be recognised as a classic.

Generally the book is very faithful to the film, and what it lacks in the movie's luscious visual textures it makes up for with Martin Delrio's lyricism. In one episode of the book, Sub Zero is looking at Scorpion whose leg he has just frozen "in a legwarmer of diamond butterflies", while Scorpion "evacuates from the pigpen dungeon of his dirty guts a powerful authoritarian bellow." Another scene Johnny Cage uppercuts Reptile and the action momentarily suspends in this delicate lull; a wind "enchanted with a fine herbed pungency from whisking through a sage patch" passes by Johnny Cage, and Reptile is "reeking and barfing green poisonous syrup." Such potency.

This book is timeless... immortal kombat.

Mister Quickly gave 4 stars to: The Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming (and Environmentalism)

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 02:40:01 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

The Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming (and Environmentalism) by Christopher C. Horner

45 of 97 people found the following review helpful:

Christopher C. Horner, brilliant, February 14, 2007

Thank you Christopher C. Horner. Communist sympathisers are generally scientists. They ruin good research by forcing results to prove dialectical materialism is at play, even at the most basic molecular level. I quote a passage from the report by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change:

"We scientists believe Karl Marx and Lenin or Stalin expressed it best: Science must always be victorious for the proletariat. We will never engage ourselves in bourgeois pseudoscience. We support theories that climate change is real. Science must always dance to the melody of Marxist doctrine and destroy capitalism with this dancing."

This is Lysenkoism. Though I took liberties with that quote and most of the words, the pith remains the same. Christopher Horner would agree, yet my friend Sree Albatap, noted expert on bowel anatomy, he would not. I also know real Science stopped progressing sometime in 1962. The study of Economics is a purer method of understanding man's relation to the world, in my estimations.

I've thoroughly enjoyed Horner's excellent refutation of science. I will definitely read this again.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Style

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 01:33:11 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace (7th Edition) by Joseph M. Williams

11 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

Style: Yes, February 13, 2007

This collection of printed pages assembled with binding glue and intelligently ordered in numerical order according to linearity of the author's argument is a masterstroke and abetted my clarity most satisfactorily and advanced my compositional structures of writing passages with grace. Good writing is simply, and quite unerroneously, and most purely and undilluted and is - basically - getting down to it and putting your point out there as briskly as possible, like the crack of a wet towel on bare inner thigh.

Thanks Joseph M. Williams. Your penmanship is of such mastery that in my mind's eye I envision so starkly your calm veinous hands.

In addition to this I recommend "The World of Music According to Starker." Page 69 could have been modeled upon Joseph M. Williams's collection of printed papers tastefully held between two ends, one on each side, so that anyone with the requisite dexterity may force them apart and ergonomically move their hand to turn the papers and see new words that explain the motion of the thoughts of the man who conceived of these words in this specific order.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: The World of Music According to Starker

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 03:33:44 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

The World of Music According to Starker by Janos Starker

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

Unfurling the World of Music According to Starker, January 30, 2007

Written without the technical competence his fingers are usually spirited with, this is still an intriguing book. Janos Starker barely disguises that he composed this book while bathing. The narrative of his life is interrupted several times with present tense statements concerning his hygiene at the time of writing. "I am flecked with pheasant grease as I compose these words" he writes. "But back to my time in Budapest, or I shall return to it soon. Presently I am bathing, removing these irascible grease spots. I remove the grease with a coarse loofah, then I write a sentence. This is the slow fugue of Janos Starker's life. A sinuous musk snakes from my armpits. The odor, she returns my thoughts to the pungency of Lady Hungary." A strange journey through the life of the notable cellist, his mind, and what is on his mind as he bathes.

Mister Quickly gave 4 stars to: And Ladies of the Club

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 11:24:02 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmyer

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Helen 'Hoof' Santmyer, January 27, 2007

"...And Ladies of the Club" is a warm story. It follows a group of women who struggle to comprehend their place in a complicated world, finding solidarity amongst each other in a fellowship for women with club feet, the name of which gives this novel its title. One particular highlight is page 168 where the author describes the relapse of a club foot back to its starting position, calling it "a time-lapsed lilac closing in on itself as the sun sets, creaking." Beautiful.

Mister Quickly gave 2 stars to: National Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Rocks and Minerals (National Audubon Society Field Guides)

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 23:48:47 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

National Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Rocks and Minerals (National Audubon Society Field Guides) by NATIONAL AUDUBON SOCIETY

8 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

michaellandonsrock , January 26, 2007

I've written to the National Audubon society and several geologists concerning an omission in this book.

I can't remember when Michael Landon and I discovered our mutual love of geology, but it remained a constant in our friendship. Shortly before he began to film for his finest role as Jonathan Smith in "Highway to Heaven", Michael Landon and I embarked upon a geological survey of Northern Canada. Using his celebrity influence, Michael Landon was granted a royal charter from Franz Joseph II, then Prince of Liechtenstein, to finance any mining capital should we discover a new gem to add to the Prince's famous gem-trunk.

We eventually found a quiet piece of land within the traditional lands of the Nis'gl't'k people. After spending seven months documenting and learning their language these gentle woodsfolk spoke to us of a cave famous in their stories for being the home of N'gaask'ul'k'ot, or "Gelman." Instinctively, Michael Landon went there, to Gelman's cave. He refused to use anything but a 10 inch hunting knife when quarrying. He furiously knifed at the cave wall for 4 or 6 hours without any apparent consistency to where his knife struck. Suddenly the cave stank. What was the smell? I followed Michael Landon's eyes, and he was using them to look at a gem that lay before his fallow blade. We both knew what we had discovered, but we consulted our Audubon guide. It wasn't listed. In his excitement, Michael Landon first suggested naming it "stinkrock", then "stankrock" and finally "smellrock." I took on a soothing tone to pacify him and delicately suggested we call it the "Landonquicklyite." He put a single finger to his pursed lips, furrowed his brow, squatted, started walking around while squatting, and then eagerly said "let's call it Michael Landon's Rock." Kenneth Waltz later characterised our relationship as having a power imbalance, probably a reason why the gem came to be known among us and in some geological circles as "michaellandonsrock."

The unbearable weight of that memory is comparable to the 10 pounds of michaellandonsrock I carry with me every day. I even put it in the rock tumbler and it looks nice.

So, perhaps my review is biased, but I hope that in the future the Audubon Society will investigate my claim.

Mister Quickly gave 3 stars to: The Anatomy of the Zulu Army

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:27:37 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

The Anatomy of the Zulu Army: From Shaka to Cetshway, 1818-1879 (Greenhill Military) by Ian Knight

6 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

The Anatomy of Shaka Zulu, January 24, 2007

This edition is a fundamental ingredient to a piece of historical fiction I'm stewing. It is entitled "The Ecstasy of Wrath", and its moments of historical rigour are thanks to this book. One page 108 of "The Ecstasy of Wrath", I write "Shaka Zulu's obsidian thighs quivered as they flanked the cinnamon brown sprig of prostrated womanhood, Ozekwan. Shaka Zulu turned around to make sure his door, or rather the hanging flap of tawny cattle hide, gave him privacy. Ozekwan could now see Shaka Zulu from behind. He felt her eyes on his back and his onyx buttocks clenched and became spasmed, like the shimmering flank of a sleek stallion. He laid his Pulsar Quadrant-Ray aside, relaxing in the security of erotic congress." I based this account on several passages in Ian Knight's zealously researched book, as well as my own imagination as I'm introducing a science fiction element. Ian Knight's is a book I recommend, somewhat, if only to understand the difference between the Zulu asagai and the tentatively named 'Zephyr-class Ionoblaster.'

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Siempre

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 09:12:18 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Siempre ~ Il Divo

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

Sempre Eccellente, January 23, 2007

I've always dreamt of the day I would hear "Without You" translated into Spanish.

Nothing is more romantic than the Spanish language, or the other romance languages. In fact, a cursory glance at history reveals the European-Mediterraneans invented romance. They swept into Northern Europe chewing cloves and wearing nothing more than form-fitting silk pants and loose blouses. Regardless of the weather, in their silks they introduced tenderness and compassionate mannerisms into the Teutonic milieu of Northern Europe, a social climate literally indistinguishable in its sexual violence from the Klingon empire.

This requires some explication of Klingon history. It wasn't until the 14th century that the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS was inundated with the technologically advanced Hur'q. The invading Hur'q stole the sacred sword of Kahless the Unforgettable, a messianic Klingon responsible for many norms of the Klingon warrior creed, including many of the brutal love rituals, such as glaring at one's husband/wife with hostility, and also the ritual of at some point drawing blood with a large curved knife with a demon carved on the handle (the Klingon angel). The Klingons eventually repulsed from Qo'noS the Hur'q and reverse-engineered their transportation technology. This enabled a crude, boorish race to move into space, dilluting what had previously been a gentleman's game, something like a mannered round of chess in a Genoese court.

Il Divo: they are in this seaborne Romance model. They are not a pack of pelt wearing Gauls with at least 57% of their bodies covered in battle-hardened scar tissue.

Add this cd to your 'classics' section.

Mister Quickly gave 2 stars to: I Like You

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 09:08:02 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence by Amy Sedaris

57 of 163 people found the following review helpful:

Hospitality without useful influence, December 15, 2006

The third Tuesday of the month I host a reading. I invite over collectors of nautical charts from between the years 1867-94 and we read aloud our charts, reciting coastal depths, inlet names, harbours, intersections of longitude and latitude, and so on, long fascinating lists read deep into the night. We are purveyors of our era and never venture outside its 1867-94 bracket, not ever. By 3am or thereabouts we begin smelling our maps, discussing what materials the ink might be composed of, and even occasionally dotting our charts with our tongues to taste what complex flavour compounds have developed over the years.

Concerning hosting under the influence, during our second to last gathering I put out rye bread as an appetiser. We all were having a very good laugh as I read out the inaccurate fathoms from an 1869 chart of the waters off of "Russian America" (Alaska these days), but then my memory fails. Burping to the surface is a murky phantasmagoria of the police arriving, Jeremy Saltmaven defiling my valued 1883 chart of the Puget Sound, and Barbara Boudewijn vehemently discussing a nautical chart from the year 1901. It was horror. I couldn't remain a mannered host, especially after Gainsborough's Blue Boy entered the room and began cussing me out. Only later was it revealed that we had all been poisoned with ergot.

Prior I had read Amy Sedaris's book. At the moment when I needed advice on hospitality, her volume yielded no practical suggestions on how to i.) recognise ergot poisoning ii.)compose one's self with dignity under its spell.

Skip this one and for your next party instead read 'Ergot: The Genus Claviceps (Medicinal & Aromatic Plants, Industrial Profiles)' by Vladimir Kren and Ladislav Cvak. It came in handy during my reading group's next encounter with the colourful fungus. But rye bread is a luring courtesan like that.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to:

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:19:51 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker for Women *or* Men, December 12, 2006

The dividing line between men's and women's fragrances has always been a very porous one. Fragrances can cross that border with the ease of a Swede into Germany after the Schengen Agreement. Why would I include such a statement before reviewing this product? It's because I've been wearing 'Lovely' by Sarah Jessica Parker all week. I was on public transport Saturday when someone came up, wafted their hand and said "crisp apple martini flirting with silky white amber. There is also an interloping patchouli." I nodded my head as I realised this person's sentence evoked perhaps the most gender neutral connotations, validating my choice in scent.

Therefore, I recommend this fragrance for men as well.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to:

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 09:19:48 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

6 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

This looks good with a white suit, December 12, 2006

My friend Barbara Boudewijn works for the EU somewhere in Brussels. No one in our circle is quite clear what it is she does for them. We've taken to calling her "Snowflake" because of what she keeps in a large aquarium in her livingroom: bamboo shrimp. They moult regularly, and often their skin can be seen peeling away and floating in the water like snowflakes. Barbara is fascinated by the process, and she sits on an ergonomic chair and watches them flake away for hours. I got her this tasteful snowflake diamond pendant in white gold. She took offense because she's sensitive about a skin condition that causes much of her forehead and temples to flake away like pastry crust. When I said "here you are, Snowflake" she took it as a reference to her skin condition rather than her bamboo shrimp. I corrected her, saying it is her bamboo shrimp that flake away like snowflakes, while her skin condition flakes away like pastry. I said if I had been referring to the latter I would have gotten pastries and said "here you go, Pastry." She would not accept my clarification. Naturally I was offended and said to her she cannot have this pendant, so I've taken to wearing it. It's quite tasteful.

Mister Quickly gave 4 stars to: You

Thu, 7 Dec 2006 08:44:10 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

You: On A Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management by Mehmet C. Oz

12 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

Something I'd like to 'chair with you, December 7, 2006

First of all, I tried the exercise "The Invisible Chair" and all I can say about it is that I no longer use "visible chairs." At the home, out in the yard, at the cafe, it doesn't matter where. At the bus stop I look at the other bus patrons with a smirk. I seem as though I'm about to sit on the bench --- and then right next to the bench --- I neatly fold myself and do the invisible chair exercise, reading my magazine, self-satisfied.

However, I've come across a problem. The authors do nothing to explain how I might cross my legs and lean back, all casual.

Also, I haven't tried the diet yet.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Eragon (Inheritance, Book 1)

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 02:08:44 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Eragon (Inheritance, Book 1) by Christopher Paolini

4 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

Christaphor Paloilini is a talented writer, November 16, 2006

I just flipped through Eragon, and I can safely say it's by far the best book I've ever read. I've always been into fantasy novels because I like to make believe about a lot about things, and living in a meadow with a cape and playing with amulets is one of them, as is pretending to talk to hairless people who wear green clothes, so this was right up my alley. You better believe this book will change your life if you're into the same stuff I'm into. This is probably one of the more counter-cultural book I've read.

Mister Quickly gave 3 stars to: Margaret's Table

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 18:29:15 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Margaret's Table: Easy Cooking & Inspiring Entertaining by Margaret H. Dickenson

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

Entertaining like a Canadian Diplomat, November 15, 2006

Margaret Dickenson is the wife of a Canadian diplomat. I learned from her book the hierarchical placement of guests around the dinner table that diplomats use. The most important sits to the right of the host, the second most important to the left. I have used this dinner table tactic to divide and conquer my guests, making them jealous of each other for my attention. I had Jeremy Saltmaven over for vermouth the other day and made him sit to my left, leaving a vacancy to the right. With this subtle trick I suspect I probably let Jeremy Saltmaven know he needs to give me more finery to secure my favour. Margaret Dickenson also explores dinner party themes, but this is where I went soft on the book. For my Hieronymus Bosch themed party, I assembled a nice costume from one of Bosch's panels. I heard the first knock at the door, and hurriedly threw on my bird mask, mounted a copper cauldron on my head, and leapt up onto my stilts. In the process of taking my first step I spilled headfirst into the front door, misjudging the weight imbalance of the cauldron on my neck. My guests later told me they first heard some shuffling, the single sonorous knell as of a large bell, and then nothing. After waiting patiently on the porch for 5 minutes, it took them a few moments longer than normal to open the front door, heaving it, unwittingly shifting my dumped motionless body across the vestibule floor.

So, Margaret Dickenson, that's why I can't give this book anything higher than 3 stars.

Mister Quickly gave 5 stars to: Still the Same...Great Rock Classics Of Our Time

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 05:49:09 GMT

Mister Quickly reviewed:

Still the Same...Great Rock Classics Of Our Time ~ Rod Stewart

4 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

Still The Same... Still, October 11, 2006

I abhor change. As a conservative I find the concept of change to be repugnant, and if we must have change it should come very very slowly. Rod Stewart is "Still the Same." I like that. I like that he hasn't changed. When things begin to change it's always a kerfuffle. Don't get me wrong though. Some change is good. I like when the seasons change, one into the other. It's a nice slow change, moving at a gentle pace. It's relaxing. I like when things move in slow motion as well. It's beautiful. When I watch Rod Stewart on my videocassette deck, I put him in slow motion. The folds of his pumpkin orange face move like pond ripples away from his mouth, and slowly break over his closed eyes. And his voice is deeper and vibrates more. Change makes me wistful and yearn for a time when things went a lot slower, and everything was in slow motion, and it took you a full 5 minutes to raise a glass of milk to your lips, and another 5 minutes to finish drinking it in that slow old-fashioned American way, just slow slow milk, almost like pouring congealing wax. It was an excruciating patience, but I miss it. I miss those days, and Rod Stewart's music really brings me back to them.

That's why I give this cd 5 stars, because when I listen to it at half speed it hits that sweet spot. Stay exactly the same Rod Stewart.