Breakups suck. They are maybe one of the worst things ever. Like most, I’ve got some experience in the subject.

When a friend of mine recently was dumped, I decided to put my experience to good use and compile a list of ways to get you through a breakup. These are not gentle rules. I am not a sappy, rub-your-back, breakup lady. This is Lauren’s boot camp for breakups.

While these tips might be a bit hardcore, follow them and you will get over your break up quicker and better than ever.

Lauren’s Breakup Bootcamp (OR Insane Tips to Get Through a Breakup Sane)

1. Make Sure It’s Over. Back and forth and back and forth relationships are the worst. Before going through the breakup grievances, make sure it is really over.
2. Accept “Breakup You”. Know that this isn’t you. It’s “Breakup You.” So the crazy emotions, the moments of anger, the bitch moves, are okay.  It’s just “breakup you”.
3. Do NOT Listen to Adele. Just don’t do it. Instead, go for inspirational “badass” music- Beyonce, Madonna, Jock Jams. Whatever works for you where you won’t fear the next song will trigger your emotions.
4. Don’t Eat Your Tears Away. Eating your emotions will only make you feel worse. Give yourself 1 thing. Then it’s over. I recommend a McFlurry.
5. Workout Those Emotions. Those endorphins will make you feel so good and empowered! So use that a-hole of an ex to your advantage and tone up that ass. So when you see him next time, he’ll really see what he is missing out on!
6. Get All Sexy. After obeying #4 and #5, wear whatever makes you feel like a catch. Don’t let your quality of life go down because you broke up. After dressing up, walk down whichever street you know you’ll get a cat call.
7. Don’t Breakup When Aunt Flo Visits. If you are doing the breaking, stay away from times when your emotions are already at their peak, like your lady time. When you can’t tell where your emotions are coming from, it is harder to figure out how to process them. If the timing is out of your control, refer to #2.
8. Don’t Have a Rebound. Or Have a Rebound. Whatever. While I believe after a relationship you should focus on just “Rebounding with Yourself” (Trademark this right!?), I know I have not practiced what I preach. So just do what you want, but know that a rebound will not make the ex jealous, seeing that you have independently emotionally moved on will. So if your emotions are at risk don’t do it… Or try not to.
9. Talk It Out. If you have something that needs to be said, say it. That is how you process emotions. Don’t let anything fester. Process it first and then just get it out. Talk to friends and family (or the comment section below!). We get it (remember #2) NOTE: If you feel that you need to talk it out with the new ex, do it. He was involved in this after all!  But you are only allowed to send “little daggers” like a text message saying you’re angry, you’re disappointed, or that he needs to go screw himself. But after that you are done. Delete the number. Don’t look for comfort and avoid person-to-person. If you think that a message is anymore than a little dagger, write it down somewhere and then forget about it.
10. Most Importantly- Get Over It. Someone told me that it takes half of the length of time that you were in a relationship to get over the relationship. While that might be true for some, getting back to regularly scheduled programming as soon as possible tells yourself that you don’t need him. You had a life before him and you will have a life after. The quicker you realize how awesome life is on your own, the better off you are.

All of these tips will be broken. You will emotionally eat something, or wear pajamas for a day, or rebound. But if you get anything out of these tips, I hope you get that you aren’t the only one who has gone through a breakup. We are out there and we think you’re sexy.

Do you have tools for a breakup? Do you have any questions about mine? Share these rules with the people you know that might need them and together, let’s find the holy grail of breakup guidelines.  Let’s talk.

Happy Thursday Y’all!

If you’re like me, at the end of the week you look at your wallet and think “where did all my money go?”

Somehow it just manages to disappear… or at least it feels that way.You may have bought a bottle of water on Tuesday when you were going to yoga. You made a few trips to the grocery store last week and a few more to the ATM.

All these things add up. Before you know it, what you thought was going to be a relatively spend-free week actually ended up costing you quite a bit. Weeks like this happen again and again and you’ve just created that ugly endless cycle of overspending.

I’ve learned two things in the year that I spent renovating my money habits:

1. It’s a daily effort
2. You have to have a game plan

Remember the movie Groundhog Day where the actor finds himself reliving the same day over and over again? Some aspects of budgeting are like that and embracing routine does wonders to being success with saving money. Small changes, go a long way.

Every week, there are a few things I do over and over again and despite the fact that it could be a challenge sometimes, I’m motivated by the nice big savings at the end of that week. Here’s are four habits that have helped fatten up my savings account.

1) Make a grocery list

In my frivolous days, I’d walk aimlessly through the supermarket and try to remember what I need. I’d end up with way too much stuff, which I would eventually feed the garbage can. I was pretty much throwing away cash. These days, I make a list of what I’ll need for the week and stick to that list.

I’m not great with paper. I lose things all the time, so I just make a list on my smartphone. That way it’s with me at all times and when I remember something throughout the week, I add it to the list.  These days, I’m so organized that I make it out of the grocery store in less than 20 minutes.

2) Take out cash for the entire week

I rarely use my debt card for every day purchases. When you don’t actually feel and see the money you’re spending, it’s hard to put it into perspective, which translates into over spending. Every Monday, I take out cash that will last me the entire week and once I’ve gone through that amount, I don’t allow myself to take out any more. In the beginning, I’d often run out by Thursday, but I’ve learned how to make it stretch these days. Not only am I saving more, but the amount of money I’ve saved in bank and ATM fees is amazing.

3) Take your lunch to work

I make sure to cook a lot at once for two reasons – first, I hate cooking so if I can get it over with once, I’m happy with that. Secondly, I’ll have enough left overs to take lunch to work. It amazed me to see how much money I was saving just my bagging lunch. I could easily save$200 a month.

4) Have one day a week where you spend nothing

I’ve heard of people doing creative things to have a ‘no spending day’. Mine was wrapping a good old-fashioned rubber band around my wallet. Not cute, but every time I reached for my wallet and saw that rubber band, I was a reminder that I couldn’t spend anything that day. It totally works.

It was hard to change my spending habits and my attitude towards money. Now that my frivolous days are behind me, I realized that the small changes I made with my personal finance habits were incredibly helpful. I knew that I had to make changes that were realistic and sustainable and these habits are definitely things I’ve been able to maintain.

What finance do you have that have helped you save money?

The world belongs to those with the most energy.
-Alexis de Tocqueville
There’s no denying that everyone, at one time or another, has had a snack attack. Views on snacking differ. Some feel that snacking is bad and that eating between meals leads to weight gain. Others believe that eating many small meals and snacks throughout the day is healthy for maintaining energy levels and optimal weight. If there were one way of snacking that was right for everyone, we would all be doing it!

To alleviate snack attack guilt, try to understand why you are snacking and what snacks work best for your body. Perhaps you snack because your daily diet is missing nutrition, or because you are eating too little at meals. You might be snacking to soothe jangled nerves when you are emotional, or to entertain yourself when you are bored. Whatever your reason, acknowledge it and start thinking about how to create a life that is nourishing and truly satisfying.

Although snacks are no substitute for loving your life, they can be great energy boosters. Many convenient snack foods are highly processed and full of chemicals, additives, damaging fats and refined sugars. When a snack attack hits you, try foods that are filling and satisfying, but also nutritious. Here are some tips:

Snack on things that don’t come in a plastic wrapper or a box, like fresh fruit, leftover vegetables or rice cakes with almond butter and fruit spread.

Make your own signature trail mix, organic hot chocolate made with almond milk sweetened with agave nectar, or blue corn chips with hummus.

You can also try “upgrading”:

If you are craving something crunchy, upgrade from potato chips to raw carrots, apples or whole grain crackers.

If you are craving a candy bar, upgrade to a handful of nuts and dried fruit.

Instead of a cup of coffee, upgrade to green tea.

Instead of ice cream, upgrade to applesauce with cinnamon.

Upgraded snacks are high in nutrition and give you a greater sense of satiety and satisfaction; you won’t feel physically or psychologically deprived, and you’ll have plenty of energy to sustain your activities for hours.

Snacking is enjoyable and there is a wide variety of healthful goodies for whatever you’re craving, be it sweet, crunchy, salty, creamy or spicy. Dive in, be creative and enjoy your snack attack.

Dear women of Chicago,

My heart breaks a little every time I see you walking down the street with THIS situation going on south of your knees.

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Who told you this was acceptable fashion behavior for your walk to work?  How did this become OK?  So many of you have such gorgeous business suits and skirts.  The hair is styled perfectly, the suits are classy, and once your eyes make it below the knees in hopes for a stunning pump, you get a big white running shoe often paired with a chunky sock.  It’s quite sad to see such fabulous ensembles go destroyed by this faux paux.

Please leave your running shoes in your gym locker and invest a minimal amount into the following options:

1. The Sporty, Stylish, and Comfortable Flat: Puma Rudolf Dassler Rhythm Shine

2. The Surprisingly Walkable Wedge: Luxury Rebel Selma Cork Wedge

3. The Funky, Colorful Flat: Asos Lotus Flower Ballet Flat

I wear a heel over a flat every time but when running around the city from work to the gym, these are great options without ruining the style of a great outfit.

One of the first things to check off your wedding checklist is putting together an inspiration board.  This is going to be your tool through out the wedding planning process, to bring in all the details you are planning and ensure they all work fluidly.

The last thing you want is to have a garden style bouquet with a modern centerpiece for your reception flowers.  If you are working with wedding planners they will be able to assist not only with providing inspiration but also putting it all together for a visual overview.

So, now that you know WHY you should make an inspiration board, let’s get started in figuring out HOW to make an wedding inspiration board.

Let’s Get Started:

Top Inspiration Board Makers-

Style Me Pretty-

BHLDN-

I’m sure many of you are sick of hearing Gotye’s Somebody That I Used to Know. I admit to being one of those people who had that song on repeat all day every day for at least a month. You can all be happy that I’m not your radio DJ. Anyway, I went to my Alma Mater a couple of weeks ago and that visit was the inspiration for this post and with the title above, you can bet your pay check, I am going to have fun with this.

We all know the types of people most of us interacted with in college – the overachievers, the party people, the book worms, etc. So it makes you wonder what becomes of these people when they graduate. Upon my visit to my Alma Mater, Drake, it was nice to see some people had changed; it was nice to see some people hadn’t and then of course you were hoping for the best for others.

Have you been back at your Alma Mater? What types of people did you go to school with?

Labels might be for cans of tuna but sometimes the shoe just fits. So here is my take on a few of the types of people we all graduate with:

1. The Overachiever

I start with this one because I like to think of myself as an overachiever. Even through what has been a less than perfect post-graduation year (putting it mildly), I think I’m still doing some pretty cool things in my career and otherwise. My experience has been so different and for that, I am grateful. There are of course the super-deluxe overachievers who work a day job, a side hustle, are en route to ending world hunger and still have time to cook dinner each night and fundraise for the animal shelter during their “free time.” Overachievers get about as much sleep that they got in college, a.k.a., none.

2. The Party Animal

When you graduate college, there is a certain responsibility that you have: to act just a tad more mature when you go out. Not these folks, these guys and girls have the same level of “tolerance” they did in college. I’m not really sure how they do it but they do. Well, I take that back. I know exactly how they do it. Many of them substituted work for school but their 9PM -3AM activities did not change at all.

3. The Daddy’s Money folks

Let me start by saying I’m not hating. Really, I’m not. I mean you’ve likely never had to worry about money your entire life and you probably never will. That’s not a bad thing.  You had the best car, best couch, best No.2 pencil and you continue to have the best of everything.  Not a bad thing either. Then there’s the fact that you probably have a great job that you may or may not have worked hard for but somehow daddy and mommy still pay your rent, your bills, take you on shopping sprees….you get the point. Now I’m hating.

4. The Wannabes

These are my favorite group. They are also the group with a large amount of people in them. They’ve been trying to impress everyone with money they really don’t have, or fictitious intelligence or incredibly awesome life experiences that somehow always seem so much greater than the rest of ours. They did it in college and they’re doing it in the real world. They make it seem like their post grad experience has been nothing but a walk in the park and they are living the dream. Yeah, some of us know better.

Okay, there are a ton of  types of people that I could include in this list but I think I’ll stop here before things get too serious. It’s all in good fun.  Still maintaining this good fun, what “types” of people would you have on here ?

And are there are any groups of somebodies that you used to know?

Happy Thursday!

Are you doing the whole social media thing? Do you feel like sometimes you post 5 things at one time and then nothing for a day or two?  Buffer can help. With a free account, you can link your Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn accounts and then schedule your social media updates so that they are posted at optimal times to the different networks.  (Note: It also gives the appearance that you are actively posting often.)

How I use it: While commuting or while going through blogs I follow, I typically find lots of fun things I want to share with my network. So I add them to Buffer so that they will consistently post throughout the day and the week. This way my network will not be overloaded with too many posts from me at one time. Depending on time sensitivity, I have the option to post the update then or post to Facebook and not to Twitter for example.

You can install a Buffer extension so that while you are using your Internet browser, you can easily share links.  There is also a mobile app for Android and iOS devices.

For more information and to sign up for a free account, head on over to bufferapp.com.  What are some other tips and tricks you use to stay on top of your social media activity?

“Let’s not present this to the client until it’s fully baked.”

“I’ll give you a call tomorrow so we can circle back on that project.” 

“That is low hanging fruit we can go after.”

Fully baked?  I didn’t know we were making brownies.   Low hanging fruit?  I thought we were closing a deal, not picking apples.

Business lingo- you hear it, you sometimes say it, and ew boy, it feels weird either way!  When we hear it, we are not impressed and when we say it, no one is buying it.  Let’s get real!

 Clients, partners, PEOPLE IN GENERAL appreciate when they are spoken to like normal people! 

We don’t have time to translate these ridiculous, old-school business phrases that somehow became the norm.  The next time someone throws the lingo your way, throw it back and GET REAL.  Fancy business lingo is not required to make a point and connect with people.  When in doubt, stick to what you know and feel comfortable in the way you deliver your message.

Freelancing in pretty much any field can be fun, financially rewarding and just plain cool. Of course, just the very nature of freelancing means you’re going to have feast or famine days. But hey, it comes with the territory.
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Another thing that comes with the territory is dealing with clients. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to fire a client.
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For a lot of freelancers, just the thought of doing that is pretty scary.  Confrontation even when done as professional as possible can be nerve-wracking for some. But I think what’s scarier for most, is the money they stand to lose if they do fire a client.
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As a freelancer myself, I’ve had to fire a client or two. At some point you have to make a decision. So, here are three signs it’s time to fire your client:
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Sign No. 1

​If a client is calling and emailing you for insignificant petty issues it may be time to say ”buh-bye.” Here’s why. There are some people who for whatever reason, think that because they’ve hired you to design something, write an article or code some software believe it gives them the right to drive you up a tree with constant calls and emails about nothing.
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​It doesn’t.
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If you’re starting to avoid their phone calls and have stop replying to emails this is a sure sign the relationship is not working. ​If this sounds familiar then it may be time to cut your losses and move on.
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Sign No. 2
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Let’s say you have a client providing you with a steady stream of income. The problem is, that steady stream isn’t very profitable because this client always want a ”deal.” To make matter worse, you cave in every time your client wants a discount.
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Bad client, bad idea.
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You are giving your client too much control over your business. It’s different if you, for whatever reason, decide to give a client a break on the price. But when it’s the client dictating lower fees, you are sending the wrong message. You want clients to work with you because of the quality of your work. Not because you’re cheap. If it’s a long time client, schedule a meeting to renegotiate your fees. A client who values your talent will be willing to work something out with you. If they only hired you because you were cheaper than the other guy, they’ll walk. Wish them well, raise your rates and move on. Consider it a lesson learned.

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Sign No. 3
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If  a client becomes condescending and rude, well, need I say more? You should never allow anyone but especially a client to treat you poorly. You’ll see signs of it pretty early on. You should also take responsibly for the role you play in their behavior. Why? Because as the saying goes, ”We teach people how to treat us.”
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Talk to your client and give them the opportunity to adjust their behavior. If it continues you’ve got to end it.
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Firing a client is not an easy thing to do. But if keeping them around means you’re stressed, frustrated and no longer enjoying the work, it may be time to let them go. Yes, you’ll lose some money. But you’ll regain your self-respect, your confidence and the fun of doing what you do best.

Then you’ll go out and find a client that respects you, and what you do, and is willing to pay the price. Who’s with me?

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been known to pick up my fair share of gentlemen in bars.  I’m not a slore ( a slut-whore) so there has got to be some skill on my part right?

Well I have never really thought about it before, I’ve always just let it happen. But when my friend asked for my tips, I began to really thing about how I had sparked my past gentlemen catches.

I began every conversation with an insult.

“You’re drinking THAT beer”

“Ewe. Why are you cheering for THAT team?”

“If you were a dinosaur you’d be a stegosaurus? Geez, what a girlie dinosaur.”

How did this happen??  I swear I’m not a monster.

After recognizing this horrible habit of mine, on my next flirting escapade, I stopped myself. I was doing it again. Then when trying to break the habit, I hit a brick wall. I didn’t know what to say or do. My schmoozing was dead. My charm was tarnished. My smooth moves ceased to exist.

I can’t flirt. But I can throw out a good insult. How embarrassing.

I’ve always gone to humor with guys since there are always girls with much higher heels and much lower standards at bars than me. Sure, my insults are filled with sarcasm but even so,  when has humor turned into straight up insults?

I think maybe I’m testing them. If they can’t stand my sass, then I’ll know immediately to not waste my time. But what am I expecting? Someone just to fall in love with me based off an insult? What kind of guy really finds an insult attractive and what kind of person am I presenting myself as?

One of these days I will hit on someone’s deep-rooted insecurities an I’ll either make a grown man cry or get punched in the face. And that will look real good.

So I guess I need to clean up my game. But like I said, I’ve hit a wall. The idea of winking, being cute, or showing too much cleav makes me want to vomit. Anybody have any good pick up lines?!?

So how do you flirt? Are you a flirting bully like me?  Has anyone else gotten into a rut like this before?

Let’s talk.