Dysthymia. A word I first heard a few years ago from a therapist, but one that, as it turns out, has been a part of my life for as far back as I can remember.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, “Dysthymia is defined as a chronic type [...]]]>

Dysthymia. A word I first heard a few years ago from a therapist, but one that, as it turns out, has been a part of my life for as far back as I can remember.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, “Dysthymia is defined as a chronic type of depression in which a person’s moods are regularly low. The cause is unknown but it tends to run in families and occurs more often in women than in men. About half of people with dysthymia will also have an episode of major depression at some point.” I sure have. More than once. They suck.

I’ve taken to writing my blog posts out longhand before typing them. It helps me sort my thoughts out. When I wrote this out last night, I included some specifics about my mental health history to put my story in context. When I reread it, I questioned whether or not I really wanted to share so much of my personal business. I am not a sharer by nature, though those that follow me on Twitter may beg to differ. So, let me be more specific, I share plenty, but not from behind the wall. “Tell me about yourself” is one of the worse things someone can say to me. Yet here I am on my blog letting the world know that I have a depressive disorder. I figure that’s enough for now.

So why have I decided to share this now? Chalk it up to the Power of Twitter. I follow writer/poet/mental health advocate Bassey Ikpi who last year started the organization, The Siwe Project, which is dedicated to promoting mental health awareness and education in the global black community. Via both her personal Twitter account and the one for The Siwe Project, she talks often about opening dialogue about mental illness and removing the stigma associated with it. She talks about there being no shame in acknowledging or seeking treatment for your illness. She talks about it being no different than any other illness and that it should be treated as such – no stigma, no shame. According to The Siwe Project’s website, July 2 is ‘International No Shame Day’ but since May is Mental Health Awareness month, I decided to write this now.

Even though I’ve cut out a lot of what I wrote down last night, I still feel a little apprehension about hitting ‘publish’ on this post. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. But hey, this blog is about my experience and chronic depression is a part of my experience. Major depressive episodes have also been a part of my experience. This has colored my life in ways you may not be able to imagine. Ways I won’t get into here. Just know that if you also have some type of mental illness, there is no shame in it. If someone you know, someone you love, someone you work with or live next door to or someone you don’t even know has some type of mental illness, try to understand, try to have empathy. Let’s work together to remove the stigma associated with mental illness. Dialogue is essential to accomplish this. This blog post is me opening a dialogue.

Please feel free to share your thoughts, feelings, experiences on Mental Health Awareness Month and mental illness in general in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

A few weeks ago I noticed that the new HBO show, GIRLS, was being talked about EVERYWHERE. On the Internet, in magazines, on Twitter! I only paid attention from a distance because I had no intention of watching the show. I did take note; however, of the fact that much of the [...]]]>

A few weeks ago I noticed that the new HBO show, GIRLS, was being talked about EVERYWHERE. On the Internet, in magazines, on Twitter! I only paid attention from a distance because I had no intention of watching the show. I did take note; however, of the fact that much of the commentary that I saw revolved around the lack of racial diversity on the show i.e. “Why isn’t there a black GIRL?”

From what I read about the show I found that to be wholly believable. It didn’t seem that this group of friends would have a black (or any other non-white) chick in their circle. The inclusion of one for the sole purpose of making the show more PC would have been more of a turnoff to me than anything else. Much like the shows to which GIRLS has been compared, Sex and the City and, to a lesser degree, Friends, I believe wholeheartedly that these close knit circles would be of a racially homogeneous flavor. Vanilla to be exact. Guess what – that’s ok. I’m not mad. You see it everyday. People tend to gravitate towards, and socialize with, people like themselves, and that often includes people who look like themselves. As long as it doesn’t affect my life or livelihood, my feelings aren’t hurt in the least. Now the fact that we rarely saw people of color AT ALL on Friends or SATC- in NYC of all places – could be seen as a problem. THAT’s unrealistic. Then again, so is most of what we see on television. ‘Reality TV’ is an oxymoron to be sure.

Which brings me to something else that’s recently been on my radar – the black men who are suing because the TV show ‘The Bachelor‘ has never featured a black man. My first response to this was “are you kidding me?” The right to be included in a TV show is not, in fact, a right. Maybe I’m in the minority here, no pun intended, but I don’t see how (or why) you would try to force a show into casting certain folks. And yes, I’m well aware of the propaganda re: black men being the scum of the unemployed, low down, dirty rotten, white girl lovin’, abusive, baby daddy ridden earth; but is showing a few black guys on a show like ‘The Bachelor’ supposed to change that? Hmm…somehow I don’t think it will.

Post-racial America is not post-racial enough for middle America to wanna see upstanding black gentlemen traipsing around in a McMansion with all natures of femininity vying for the rose and the ring. In fact, THESE days, that’s exactly what they DON’T want to see. Whether that’s right or wrong is up for debate. I don’t watch shows like ‘The Bachelor.’ If the fact that all of the bachelors have been white bothers you, maybe you shouldn’t either. Then maybe you should boycott the brands that advertise on the show. I really don’t think it’s that deep but please believe ABC is not trying to hear anybody’s bellyaching about feeling left out unless their bottom line is affected. It’s all about the benjamins – what!

For real though, does every show have to have black people? I’ve watched some shows and been GLAD that black people weren’t on them! I feel like everything ain’t for everybody. So what there isn’t a black GIRL or a black Bachelor! What does that mean? Are black people somehow “less than” because some writer or casting person doesn’t include them on a particular show? If we badger (or sue) them into including us, what does that prove? Oh, we’re worthy now – let’s celebrate! o_O

Now when it comes to denying folks real employment, housing or education, I get fired up. When it comes to police abusing and killing folks for no reason, I get fired up. That’s when I’m all for protesting, boycotting, suing -whatever it takes to set things right. But, unless I’m missing something, there is no right to be on a TV show – scripted or otherwise.

What say you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m not a big budget movie person. The last mainstream movie I saw was X-Men First Class. At the time I needed a diversion and since I’m an X-Men fan, it all worked out. I am so thankful that E Street Cinema is close by because I’ve seen some fantastic independent movies [...]]]>

I’m not a big budget movie person. The last mainstream movie I saw was X-Men First Class. At the time I needed a diversion and since I’m an X-Men fan, it all worked out. I am so thankful that E Street Cinema is close by because I’ve seen some fantastic independent movies there, most recently, The Skinny.

Had it not been for Twitter, I would not have even heard of The Skinny but I’m so glad that I did. I like to support films that can not only entertain but also enlighten me to lifestyles/experiences different than my own. When I read the plot of The Skinny, I knew that this movie would do just that. I enjoyed it so much that I plan to see it again (thankfully the showing was extended for an additional week.)

Y’all know I’m not one for spoilers so I won’t give away too much about the movie. In a nutshell, it’s about five friends who reunite for a crazy weekend in New York City. A lot goes on in those few days. A LOT. Laughs, tears, hugs, fights, sex – and an experience that threatens to change the dynamics of the group. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time – partially thanks to the wonderfulness that is Anthony Burrell, who played Kyle. I had never heard of him before this movie (where have I been?), but believe me, I will never forget him now. My first two words when I left the theater were “have mercy.”

I was correct in thinking that this film would both entertain and enlighten me. I watched it being able to relate in some areas (hurt, disappointment) and being in total student mode in others (there’s an apparatus for THAT?)

This movie covered several themes; but the one that really stood out to me the most was trust. Trust among lovers. Trust among friends. This theme floats all throughout the various story lines. Trust is not something with which I’m familiar. Some people trust everyone until they’re given reason not to. I’m the opposite. I trust no one. One of the main characters, Magnus, portrayed MAGNIFICENTLY by Jussie Smollett, makes the statement, “No matter how much vetting you do, there’s always a leap of faith involved” when discussing his new boyfriend with his friends. Truer words, man. I’m not athletically inclined though; I don’t leap easily. Doing so has never served me well anyway. In the meantime, I’ll just keep going to the movies.

I told you to see Black Power Mixtape and I told you to see Pariah. Now I’m gonna tell you to see The Skinny. It really is a great film; though I admit, I could’ve done without the main female character. She just really didn’t interest me at all. It’ll be showing in DC until April 19 (unless it gets extended again ) at E Street Cinema. If you’re not in DC, please find out when/where The Skinny is coming to your town. From what I’ve read it’s slated to show in Atlanta, Dallas, Chicago, Oakland and San Francisco so far. If you happen to be in one of those cities, take my word for it – run, don’t walk, to get The Skinny!

After you see it, or if you’ve already seen it, hit me up on Twitter so we can discuss.

Spring and Summer are traditionally the times of year in which people liven up their wardrobes, often adding in bright colors, florals and other cheery items of clothing and accessories. Not I.

I wear black sweaters in cold weather and black t-shirts in warm weather. You really can’t go wrong with [...]]]>

Spring and Summer are traditionally the times of year in which people liven up their wardrobes, often adding in bright colors, florals and other cheery items of clothing and accessories. Not I.

I wear black sweaters in cold weather and black t-shirts in warm weather. You really can’t go wrong with black. Not to mention, makeup artists traditionally wear all black on jobs, so that gave me even more reason to expand my black wardrobe. I typically keep things dark even down to my nails, opting for shades of gray and burgundy. This year, though, I’ve decided to brighten things up; much to the chagrin of my daughters who take any change that I make personally. “Why are YOU wearing colored jeans? WE should be wearing colored jeans!” Hahaha! Kids!

So yeah, I’m still carrying on my love affair with black, but I’ve been cheating a little bit with color. From my nails down to my shoes- orange, pink, yellow, purple- color abounds! I started this color lovin’ last year with lipsticks and this year, I’m going all out. Well, kind of. Baby steps. A few pair of colored jeans here, a pastel sweater there and of course, the accessories!

A few days ago, March 11 to be exact, I looked up and realized that I hadn’t written a blog post in a month. The date stands out to me because I remember everyone talking about Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston’s family and it reminded me that I had written my [...]]]>

A few days ago, March 11 to be exact, I looked up and realized that I hadn’t written a blog post in a month. The date stands out to me because I remember everyone talking about Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston’s family and it reminded me that I had written my last post right after Whitney died. Where did that month go?

Each week I had wanted to write something but I wanted it to be something much lighter than the Whitney piece. Something fun. But I didn’t feel light and I wasn’t having much fun so I didn’t write. And more time passed. Finally last week I said to myself, “you must post SOMETHING. ANYTHING!” I don’t fool myself into believing that people are waiting with baited breath for my posts but I figure why have a blog if you don’t post anything. I post more regularly on my tumblr blog, but the posts are much shorter. Quickies, so to speak.

As I thought on what to write about I became aware of the Trayvon Martin situation. I should write about this! But my heart was too heavy. My heart was heavy when I wrote about Whitney a month ago. I wanted my next post to be light. But here is this story of this child stalked and murdered, yet the known killer remains free. It broke my heart. It made me physically ill when I thought about it. Then the 911 tapes were released. I haven’t listened to them because I can’t subject my psyche to it. Just hearing people describe what’s on the tapes is painful. A child screaming for his life before it’s snuffed out. Hysterical witnesses. I can’t deal.

I’m an emotional shopper and I’ve been shopping for a week. Shoes, clothes, bags. This is what I do when I’m upset or depressed. I can’t even begin to tell you how much money I spent in the months after my mom died. Or last year when I was in the throes of yet another depressive episode. What’s wilder than buying clothes, shoes and jewelry knowing you have no intention or desire to leave the house? But this is what I do. Some people drink too much, some people use drugs, some people have indiscriminate sex, I shop.

So as time passed, I’m shopping and thinking about Trayvon. I’m shopping and thinking about my daughters-both as black children and as young women whose reproductive rights are being chipped away little by little. I’m shopping and thinking about all the other black children whose lives are devalued by this society. I’m thinking about the black male teens and men who are constantly looked upon as a threat just for daring to exist. I’m thinking about the black boys who are deemed unable to learn and unworthy of being taught. I’m thinking about my brother who could just as easily have been any other black man that’s been slain while unarmed or locked up for no reason. I’m thinking, I’m shopping and my heart is aching.

I was walking the other day and passed a group of teenage boys yelling obscenities to a grown man who, thankfully, was walking away. I got the impression, though, that he was only doing so because the woman he was with implored him to keep moving. Had it not been for her, it could’ve gone differently. My heart ached for those boys who needed to be somewhere doing something productive rather than on the street harassing people. I know that it’s isolated instances such as these that cause certain people to believe that all black boys are troublemakers. To clutch their purses, call 911 with reckless abandon and have itchy trigger fingers. I walked past them unbothered; but a part of me wondered if I should have said something to them. Should I have let them know that they could be better than that behavior?

I signed the petition to get justice for Trayvon Martin and I’ve been sharing information about the case, but am I part of the problem if I don’t do or say anything in my own neighborhood? I can’t help but wonder what can be done to save our children. What can I do so our children don’t end up written off, missing and dead for no other reason than because they dare to exist? What can I do so that black men aren’t disproportionately incarcerated and killed? What can I do so that black women aren’t overwhelmingly victims of violence, harassment and misogyny? I got so much trouble on my mind. My heart aches, y’all.

I’ve been thinking about death all week. All month really. Hell, if I’m honest, for years. But really intensely recently. February 8 was the four year anniversary of my mom’s death. January made seven years since my dad passed. Plus my mom’s birthday was in November and my dad’s was in January. [...]]]>

I’ve been thinking about death all week. All month really. Hell, if I’m honest, for years. But really intensely recently. February 8 was the four year anniversary of my mom’s death. January made seven years since my dad passed. Plus my mom’s birthday was in November and my dad’s was in January. Suffice it to say, the winter months are an emotional struggle for me. This is part of why I no longer celebrate holidays, but that’s another story.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Whitney Houston passed away on February 11, 2012. Unless you’ve been under said rock for the past 30 years, you know that Whitney was/is one of the greatest vocalists of our time. Point blank. Done deal. Enough said. You can deny it if you want to, but you’d be lying. As the news of her death broke across the Internet, several people expressed their shock, pain, personal feelings, experiences, etc. with Whitney. I had to log off of Twitter for a while because thinking of what her daughter must be going through was getting to be too much for me. Whitney’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, is only 18 years old. I was 34 when my mom died and I almost didn’t make it. No hyperbole. People say that a parent should never have to bury a child, but let me tell you, burying a parent ain’t no bowl of cherries.

As I read the tweets about Whitney – the love for her and her talent, the speculation surrounding her death and everything in between – what really got to me the most was the talk about Bobbi Kristina because that took me to a place that I go to Twitter to escape from. I don’t need Twitter to aggravate my depressed state. So I stepped away for a bit. I returned though, because I enjoyed seeing the old photos and videos being posted in tribute and remembrance.

Alas, things can never be all good. Along with all the positive and loving tributes being shared, I also witnessed a sickening level of hatefulness and insensitivity in the forms of jokes and crude statements about not only Whitney but also Michael Jackson. I thought to myself, not only was this Whitney Houston, music legend, but this was someone’s daughter, friend, relative and most of all, someone’s mother. I started thinking about all the positive things that people said to me when my mom died and how none of it made me feel any better because I was too hurt and too angry. Had someone dared to say something negative, even in a roundabout way, I’d probably be locked up right now. Or somewhere that has no extradition agreement with the U.S. It’s that serious.

So I felt so much pain for this child, who at some point will see the news stories and the tweets and the blogs – the good and the bad – and that will all become a part of her grieving experience. Of course her parents have been in the spotlight, for better or worse, for her entire life so, to a degree, she must be used to it. Still, NO ONE, celebrity or not, should have to have negativity, spitefulness, tackiness and the like infiltrate their grieving process. It infuriates me that people behave as though celebrities and their families are not human beings. They are real people. They suffer through pain and loss like the rest of us. They do not deserve to be slandered and ridiculed through their toughest times in life simply because they have a talent with which they’ve earned a lot of money and notoriety. I unfollowed a few people due to their insensitive attempts at humor at the expense of Whitney and her family. It’s not funny. Period.

We all suffer loss. I am in no way saying or insinuating that the loss of a famous person is in any way more sad/painful or more deserving of respect than the loss of anyone else. Yet, the average person doesn’t have to share their grief with the masses and deal with the speculations and what not on such a grand scale. So what if a person had problems with addiction or anything else. We all have issues. Upon death, those should not be the talking points. The conversations should focus on the positive and the joy that person brought to people’s lives – whether it was one person or 10 million people.

I’ve seen several people compare Whitney’s passing to Michael Jackson’s. I can’t say that her death, though also sad and untimely, has affected me in the same way as MJ’s because MJ was just everything to me. It is painful nonetheless. Another icon from my childhood is gone. I clearly recall listening and dancing to Whitney’s early records as a little girl. She definitely had something special. Her legacy lives on though – through her music, her films, her numerous accolades and through her child. No matter what we may think we know about Whitney’s life and troubles, let’s focus on the joy that she brought to the world. Trust me, when you dishonor the dead, you say more about yourself than you do about any issues that person may have had. Among other things, you say that you are petty, small-minded and someone with whom I do not wish to associate.

My heart aches today. For the loss of my parents and other loved ones. For the loss of Whitney Houston. For the loss of Michael Jackson. For the loss of so many people who were taken from the world before we were ready for them to be gone. Life is short, people. It’s cliche’, but tomorrow truly is not promised to any of us. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is called the “golden rule” for a reason. Let’s do it!

This past weekend I had the pleasure and honor of serving as “official press” for Benevole’s ‘A Night of Royalty’ fundraising event benefiting one of my favorite organizations, N Street Village.

The event was held at The Dunes gallery and the theme of the night was to honor both Martin [...]]]> Hey People!

This past weekend I had the pleasure and honor of serving as “official press” for Benevole’s ‘A Night of Royalty’ fundraising event benefiting one of my favorite organizations, N Street Village.

The event was held at The Dunes gallery and the theme of the night was to honor both Martin Luther King, Jr. and the queens of N Street Village – the women who reside there and utilize their services. There was also a secondary theme of getting out of your comfort zone and walking in someone else’s shoes. To that end, men were required to wear heels. I was pleasantly surprised by how many men were in attendance and willingly wore not only heels, but stilettos. Let me tell you, these guys went all out! Platforms, patent leather, blue suede, glitter, zebra print – you name it – the gentlemen in attendance committed to being uncomfortable for an evening in support of the discomfort that the women of N Street Village feel on a regular basis. The recurrent comment of the evening was “I have a newfound respect for women! How do y’all do this every day?” Now just imagine of one of them gave birth!

Before the event got started I sat down with Benevole Inc.’s (the name is derived from the French word for volunteer) co-founder, George Slaughter, and heard from him why he decided to start the organization and how/why they chose N Street Village as a beneficiary for their fundraising efforts.

Though the rule of the night was “No Cameras” (you can imagine why) you know It wouldn’t be like me to go to an event and not take ANY pics. Besides, I was press after all. Enjoy!

I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days. On one hand, I don’t want to give away too much of the story for those who haven’t yet seen the movie. On the other hand, there’s so much that I want to say because this movie, this story, [...]]]>
Hey People!

I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days. On one hand, I don’t want to give away too much of the story for those who haven’t yet seen the movie. On the other hand, there’s so much that I want to say because this movie, this story, was so intense and I’ve been wanting to discuss it ever since I saw it last week.

I’m not a big moviegoer. I have to feel there’s something special about a movie for me to want to make the effort to see it in the theater. After all, in most cases I can wait a couple of months and get it from Redbox for an eighth of the ticket price and watch it in my pajamas. Gotta love it! I can’t recall when/where/how I heard about this movie but when I did, I definitely had the feeling that it would be something special and I knew that I wanted to see it when it came to DC. Well, I was right. ‘Pariah’ is definitely something special.

Since the movie is still relatively new, I don’t want to give too much away. ‘Pariah’ shows the lead character, Alike, as she “strives to get through adolescence with grace, humor, and tenacity – sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, but always moving forward.” In a nutshell, it’s the story of a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality. As I write this, I’m wondering if it’s necessary for me to say “a young black girl.” I think so, because the whole black and gay, black and religious, black and (insert here) dynamic definitely comes into play throughout the film. Not to mention the fact that I would most likely have been less inclined to see the movie at the theater if it were not about a black girl. Of course this is not to say that I am not interested in the stories of others, but I see them all the time, so this was something different. I’m just saying.

I’m not Siskel or Ebert and this post isn’t intended to be an in-depth movie review. My review is “It’s great. Go see it. Two thumbs up!” This is about my experience.

I came to this movie having had a growing up experience much different than that of the lead character, Alike. But then again, not much different at all. Was/am I a lesbian? No. Did I have parents that, while living in the same home, had vastly different lives/lifestyles? Yes. Did I have a younger sibling that got on my nerves? Yes. Was I pretty much a loner in high school? Yes. Fast forward to the present day, as the mother of two teenagers, the scenes in which Alike was in school and making attempts to socialize outside of school made me wonder how close those situations may be to the experiences of my daughters and their friends. I know for a fact that it’s a whole new world for teenagers these days. A whole. new. world. They say pimpin’ ain’t easy, it’s nothing compared to parenting!

I REALLY want to speak on some specific aspects of this movie that made me vacillate between wanting to laugh/cry/shake someone/hug someone but since I promised no spoilers I’ll just leave you with this line that, though uttered in the movie by a 17 year old, spoke to my heart as a 38 year old woman: “I am not running; I am choosing.” Take from that what you will.

Have you seen ‘Pariah?’ If so, let’s discuss.

Hey People!

Y’all know I’m a Twitterholic, right? For better or worse, I see a lot of different things (humor, news, randomness, etc.) come through my timeline. Recently, one of the few celebs that I follow, Talib Kweli, retweeted a tweet by MiaX, in which she was telling women not to [...]]]>

Hey People!

Y’all know I’m a Twitterholic, right? For better or worse, I see a lot of different things (humor, news, randomness, etc.) come through my timeline. Recently, one of the few celebs that I follow, Talib Kweli, retweeted a tweet by MiaX, in which she was telling women not to draw on their brows* or wear weaves. This piqued my interest so I went to MiaX’s timeline to get the context for the statement. There was a succession of tweets that advised women not to make certain physical alterations/adornments (makeup, hair, clothing) because men don’t really like those things. Basically, she was saying that men will look at a woman that’s all done up but they won’t really want to be with her (beyond sex.) The way I see it, if you’re doing those things solely for the purpose of attracting a man, you’re already losing.

I’m a fan of adornment, everything from jewelry to makeup to hair to clothes. For me, it’s not about hiding or being fake but about having fun and switching things up. So what if a chick wants to wear a weave or lashes! So what if she wants to wear a full face of makeup! So what if she wants to wear a body-conscious outfit! So what if she wants to get breast implants! As long as she’s doing it because she wants to, feels good about her look, and, equally as important, it looks good on her, more power to her. If a man, or the next chick, doesn’t like it, they can keep it moving. Yeah, you hear a lot of guys complaining about women wearing makeup and weaves, but, as one of my guy friends told me, if they passed up on all chicks who did, they’d miss out on a lot of women. Besides, it’s just hair & makeup, it’s not personality & heart – and that’s what really counts.

But I digress. That’s not really my point. My point is – Don’t make beauty/fashion decisions solely with the intent of attracting another person. That’s where you lose. Unless, of course, you get paid to attract other people, in which case, party on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to try to look your best or be attractive. I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t care whether or not the opposite sex (or same sex as the case may be) is attracted to you. That’s unnatural and unrealistic. What I AM saying is to not care more about that than about feeling good about yourself – and looking good for yourself. Adorn yourself FOR yourself!

Granted, we’ve all seen chicks that appeared to be “doing too much” but that’s fodder for another post.

*I have to add here that I agree that eyebrows shouldn’t be drawn on, as in you shave yours off and draw some on. I still stand by “Do You” but that is just never a good move. Filling your brows in is altogether different and wholly acceptable.

What do you think, should women dress with men in mind? Women readers – do you?

Hey People!

On January 16, in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, the Corcoran Gallery of Art – which is usually closed on Mondays – was not only open, but it also offered FREE admission. This gave me the perfect opportunity to check out the 30 Americans exhibit. I had been [...]]]>

Hey People!

On January 16, in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, the Corcoran Gallery of Art – which is usually closed on Mondays – was not only open, but it also offered FREE admission. This gave me the perfect opportunity to check out the 30 Americans exhibit. I had been wanting to vicit this exhibit for awhile so it only made perfect sense that I take advantage of the Corcoran’s generosity.

The exhibit, which featured works of art by many of the most important African American artists of the last three decades, was amazing. There were pieces by artists with whom I am familiar such as Kehinde Wiley and Jean-Michel Basquiat, as well as many by other artists that I was glad to discover, such as Mickalene Thomas, who created some of my favorite pieces in the exhibit. 30 Americans will be on display at the Corcoran until February 12, 2012, so if you get the chance to visit, I suggest you do so.

In addition to the 30 Americans exhibit, I also visited two exhibits which were ending on that day – Gordon Parks: Photographs from the Collection and Hank Willis Thomas: Strange Fruit. Of course Gordon Parks is a renown photographer and I had seen many of his photos before but I was less familiar with Hank Willis Thomas. His exhibit was actually my favorite of the three (one of his pieces was included in 30 Americans as well.) Strange Fruit investigates the disturbing history of lynching photography from the turn of the 20th century interspersed with contemporary representations of athletes. It was quite moving.

I’m glad that I had the opportunity to experience such wonderful and thought-provoking works of art.

What’s the last work of art (movie, exhibit, book, etc.) that was meaningful to you?

30 Americans – Preview from Corcoran Gallery of Art on Vimeo.

If we’re connected via Twitter or Facebook, there’s no doubt that you’ve seen me mention (repeatedly) N Street Village, an organization based in Washington, DC, whose mission is to “empower homeless and low-income women to claim their highest quality of life by offering a broad spectrum of services and advocacy in [...]]]> Hey People!

If we’re connected via Twitter or Facebook, there’s no doubt that you’ve seen me mention (repeatedly) N Street Village, an organization based in Washington, DC, whose mission is to “empower homeless and low-income women to claim their highest quality of life by offering a broad spectrum of services and advocacy in an atmosphere of dignity and respect.”

The mission of N Street Village is near and dear to me and I support the organization in any way that I can from volunteering and donating money to spreading the word about their mission, events and needs via my various social networks. That being said, imagine my delight when I was contacted by Benevole and asked to serve as official press for their Night of Royalty event, benefiting no other than N Street Village. I didn’t hesitate to say “count me in!”

Benevole is an organization whose mission is “to advance human rights by meeting immediate needs and building lasting partnerships with community organizations operating on the front-lines.” The organization recently celebrated one year of service to the community and I look forward to seeing how their mission and vision manifest in years to come.

The Night of Royalty event promises to be a good time (even the men have to wear high heels!) for a great cause. If you’re in the DC area, please join us in a night of mixing, mingling and supporting an organization which has done such great work for the Washington, DC community.

DATE: Saturday, January 28, 2012
TIME: 7-10pm
LOCATION: The Dunes 1402 Meridian Place, NW Washington, DC 20010

You can purchase tickets here.

Connect with N Street Village on Twitter and Facebook.
Connect with Benevole on Twitter and Facebook.

Hey people!

I don’t watch a whole lot of daytime TV (thank goodness!) but yesterday I happened to catch Dr. Drew’s LifeChangers and the topic got me so fired up that I felt compelled to write a post about it.

They spotlighted a 10 year old boy is who has been [...]]]>

Hey people!

I don’t watch a whole lot of daytime TV (thank goodness!) but yesterday I happened to catch Dr. Drew’s LifeChangers and the topic got me so fired up that I felt compelled to write a post about it.

They spotlighted a 10 year old boy is who has been bullied incessantly because he has big ears. This child cries on a daily basis because of this bullying. This child hides in the bathroom at school because of this bullying. Children are not only calling him names, which would be bad enough, but they are doing things such as flapping his ears – invading his personal space by putting their hands on him. That shit is crazy! I abhor teasing, though I realize that very few children will leave childhood not having been touched by it to some degree. This level of bullying though, causing kids to cry on a daily basis, causing kids to doubt themselves, have low self-esteem, act out and more – this craziness has got to stop. It just has to!

I have two teen daughters and my younger one is a sensitive type. She has definitely had instances in which kids at school were not so nice to her. Thankfully it never got to the point that it did with this boy, but I know that it happens much more often that it should. Of course, we’ve all heard the stories of the children being bullied to the point of committing suicide, often, but not always, due to sexual orientation. This has got to stop!

One thing that really struck me about this story was when the child and his mother said that the teachers and administrators weren’t being too helpful. This bullying was happening on school grounds so, to me, there is no excuse for that. Of course no one from the school was there to speak, but, again, as a parent, I have seen this nonchalance in action. This “well, we can’t really do anything about it. kids will be kids.” attitude. I’ve talked to kids who have gotten into fights at school and when I ask “where were the teachers?” they were nowhere to be found. Or, worse yet, they were around but did nothing to intervene. This makes me sick to my stomach.

Trust me, I know that not all bullying takes place at school. Facebook has become a hotbed for bully behavior. Kids are posting videos of their bullying and fighting on YouTube. So yeah, I know, it’s not all about the actions at school. When it is happening at school, though, the staff needs to intervene. They need to call parents, hold workshops – whatever. Parents need to teach their kids that this behavior is WRONG. A child being teased and bullied everyday -for any reason- is wrong! Unfortunately, I have seen some parent behavior that has made me say, “Oh ok, now I understand why that child behaves that way. We have a couple of lost generations, not just one. Yet and still, when I see stuff like this, it just breaks my heart and it shouldn’t be happening. This child asked his mother if he is a human being. HE ASKED HER IF HE IS A HUMAN BEING. That alone was enough to compel me to write this. The fact that some bad ass little kids have broken another child down to the point that he questions his humanity. This has to stop!

If you have a child, know a child, work with children, see a child on the street…please, please, PLEASE tell them and more importantly, SHOW them, hat teasing and bullying is wrong. There is no excuse for it. Our parents taught us “sticks & stones may break your bones…” Bump that, words DO hurt! Teach the children.

Depending on how long you’ve kept up with The Rasberry Experience, you may or may not be familiar with my previous mission: look great by 38! Earlier this year I had the idea that I needed to get my ish together in the physical realm – pretty much a head to toe [...]]]>

Depending on how long you’ve kept up with The Rasberry Experience, you may or may not be familiar with my previous mission: look great by 38! Earlier this year I had the idea that I needed to get my ish together in the physical realm – pretty much a head to toe makeover. I just didn’t feel like I was fly enough, you know. I had some spots that needed to get tighter and righter. Well, that mission was NOT accomplished. I won’t even tell y’all how much weight I’ve gained, but suffice it to say, I weigh as much now as I did with my full-term pregnancies. Yeah, it’s THAT serious. Of course, I carry it well, but that’s beside the point.

Fast forward to December 2011. While other folks were getting handbags and perfume and iPads (oh my!) for the holidays, all I got was a prescription for blood pressure medication. It wasn’t even gift-wrapped! Both of my parents died of high blood pressure related conditions so to say that I have a genetic predisposition is an understatement. I was good until this year though. I’m guessing the combination of age, stress and me sitting on my ass finally caught up to me. So… a new mission is on the horizon…feel fine by 39! I still need to accomplish my ‘look great by 38′ goals, but now I also have to think about managing my blood pressure. Sigh.

In brighter news: I thrifted a nice, black J. Crew blazer last week!

I no longer celebrate holidays, but I know many of you do, so I thought I’d share a few great gift ideas for you last minute shoppers (which I often was when I was into such things.)

The Debate Game

The Debate Game is a board game [...]]]>

I no longer celebrate holidays, but I know many of you do, so I thought I’d share a few great gift ideas for you last minute shoppers (which I often was when I was into such things.)

The Debate Game

The Debate Game is a board game that sparks lively debates by posing questions that make you think about (and share) your thoughts, opinions, values, etc. No more boring parties where everyone is sitting around waiting for someone to say something witty! The game can be played with as few as two people and as many as your heart desires. Wanna REALLY get to know someone? Play The Debate Game with them! Check out the YouTube channel. *This is a great option for a low-key New Year’s Eve party.

Glimmer Wonderland 18 Piece Nail Color Set

For the nail polish fanatic (or the person who needs to break out of the clear polish rut) in your life, Sephora by OPI has put together a fabulous collection of 18 minis – one for every holiday party outfit! Nail polish is one of my weaknesses. I have far too many and I know it, but hey, it’s the holidays! Besides, who couldn’t use just a little more polish?

Design Sponge at Home

The DIY design fan in your life is most likely also a fan of the blog, Design Sponge. This year, they came out with a book that brings some of their best ideas to life. I’m a tactile person, so though I spend a lot of time online, I am still very much a lover of books. Give this book as a gift to anyone who likes pretty things – or pretty books.

iTunes Gift Card

In my best Mary J. Blige voice – “You know I love music.” There’s a song out there to suit every emotion/mood/time of day. Let me tell you, if I ever lost my music collection, I would cry real tears. It’s bad enough that I lost everything that I had on cassette. I know there are plenty of free music sharing sites but I’m old school, I still buy music. That being said, I think an iTunes gift card makes a perfect gift, especially if you aren’t sure of what type of music a person likes or what they already own.

Gorilla Perfume Exclusives Miniatures Set

Almost as essential to my life as music is fragrance. Perfumes, lotions, oils, candles, incense…if it smells good, I want it. I recently became aware of Lush Cosmetics’ Gorilla Perfume line. They’re super concentrated and I always receive compliments when I wear my favorites. This is an exclusive set, available only online, featuring eight different scents. They can be worn alone or paired up for a special scent that will have your gift receiver turning heads.

I consider each of these to be a great gift because not only are they relatively inexpensive, but I would love to receive each (or all) of them. – HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

What are you planning on giving (or hoping to receive) this year?

A few days ago, through the wonder of Facebook, I came across an article – 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. I usually approach lists such as this with a full shaker of salt and a carefully honed side-eye. After all, there’s always someone out there ready to give their two [...]]]>

A few days ago, through the wonder of Facebook, I came across an article – 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. I usually approach lists such as this with a full shaker of salt and a carefully honed side-eye. After all, there’s always someone out there ready to give their two cents plus on what folks should and shouldn’t do. As the saying goes, “Opinions are like ***holes. Everybody has one.” This list turned out to be a gem! It is chock full of sound, common sense advice on just what it purported to be – things we should stop doing to ourselves!

I saw myself all up and through this list. I strongly suggest that you read it and get to work on stopping these activities ASAP. Easier said than done, I know, but baby steps, people, baby steps. Though I could relate to several of the items (more than I’d like to admit), three of them stuck out to me:

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.- This is me all day; especially lately because I was stung badly earlier this year. I usually always have walls up and that time I finally let someone in and wouldn’t you know it – disaster! So why would I want to go through that again? Walls back up! I don’t want to be this way though. Working on it.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.- No one could ever accuse me of being an optimist. That’s just never been one of my qualities. I have a bad habit of focusing on what could go wrong as opposed to what could go right. I really need to stop doing this!

Stop running from your problems. – I am the least confrontational person you’ll ever meet. When it comes to other people, if there’s a problem, I’ll just leave or cut you out of my life. If I hate my job, I’ll quit – or force you to fire me. However, when it comes to ugly life issues that I have to deal with, I’ll push them to the back burner until they just get too ugly to ignore. HORRIBLE habit. Must fix this!

When I posted the article on Facebook, someone replied that this would serve as their New Year’s resolution list. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but this is definitely a valuable list and I know that I need to make the conscious decision to change some of these actions. Thankfully I’m not guilty of all 30 of them!!

Can you relate to any of the items on this list? Are there any that you would add?

I could’ve just not written another post and let it drift off into the sunset, but I [...]]]> As I think about writing this post, various song titles come to mind, namely ‘It’s so Hard to Say Goodbye‘ and ‘Is This the End?‘ Why? Well, I’ve decided to stop writing The Rasberry Experience.

I could’ve just not written another post and let it drift off into the sunset, but I want to honor, and thank, anyone who’s ever taken the time to read any iteration of this blog.

From the early days on MySpace to ‘The Rasberry Experience,’ this blog has gone through quite a few changes and it’s been a great ride. I am ever so grateful for the reads, the comments, the tweets and likes, but to be honest, my heart is no longer in it. I feel as though I would be doing a disservice to my readers by forcing myself to post just because it’s expected. That’s just not me. If you are reading this now, I hope that at some point you have enjoyed reading something that I’ve written. If so, it was all worth it.

Don’t fret just yet. I will continue to update the Facebook page with various articles, experiences and ‘just for fun’ stuff; I’ve just decided to cease the full-on posts. At least for now. You never know what the future may hold.

I’ve blogged about everything from events to makeup to music to social media and much more and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sharing my thoughts and experiences with y’all. To everyone who’s read, commented, retweeted, liked on Facebook, etc., in the immortal words of Bartles & Jaymes “thank you for your support.”

I’m a mojito chick through and through. It’s my libation of choice and I get thoroughly annoyed by bars and restaurants that give me the tired “oh, we don’t make mojitos because we don’t have any mint” line. Is it really that hard to get mint?

As much as I love [...]]]>

I’m a mojito chick through and through. It’s my libation of choice and I get thoroughly annoyed by bars and restaurants that give me the tired “oh, we don’t make mojitos because we don’t have any mint” line. Is it really that hard to get mint?

As much as I love a good mojito, sometimes I mix things up and indulge in a nice glass of riesling or pinot noir. That being the case, I was thrilled to come across this opportunity on 365 THINGS TO DO IN WASHINGTON DC to win a getaway for two to wine country. A getaway with wine – talk about two great things that go great together! You can’t beat that with a bat!

This offer is so good that I couldn’t keep it to myself. The prize includes a getaway for two to wine country, complete with six premium wines, gourmet breakfast, and wine tastings for you and someone special. I may or may not enter, but either way, I had to share this with you. After all, sharing is caring. You know what they say, you gotta play to win, so click here to enter.

Good luck!