Ms. Vixen

#8 BREAKING THE FORMULA W/ UCHECHI CHINYERE

2020-04-23T17:26:00.000-04:00

This is the debut episode for season 2! I'm excited to be back and I added a new segment, Community Care!!! I also he an amazing conversation with Ucheci Chinyere, featured panelist on the Grapevine youtube series and co-host of Run the Tap Podcast.

Catch up with Uchechi on this socials:
Twitter: twitter.com/wordsbyuchechi
Instagram: instagram.com/wordsbyuchechi

Links mentioned this episode:
A little Juju podcast, she was a guest on our first season, #3 Former Sage Burning Bitches w/ Juju Bae https://soundcloud.com/user-570908584/former-sage-burning-bitches-w-juju-bae-7719-1041-pm

Ep 44 - We Gon' Be Alright Panel Discussion- "An Afro Spiritual Understanding of the current times and how to heal through the crisis (Covid-19)".
https://soundcloud.com/user-991694293/ep-44-we-gon-be-alright

Bad Bitch Affirmations for 2020 https://soundcloud.com/user-570908584/bad-bitch-affirmations-for-2020/s-4fSfz

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MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST MINISODE #7.5: NEW YEAR, WHO THIS?

2020-01-16T00:44:00.001-05:00

It's a minisode!! I missed talking to ya'll so I figured I do a quick episode to get ya'll ready for 2020. I give tips on keeping your New Year resolutions and goals on track. Give you all a few tips for an effective vision board, and I introduce the rememberlution Jar!!!

Links mentioned this episode:

6 Ways to Tick to Your New Years Resolutions and Goals>>http://www.msvixenmag.com/2016/01/6-ways-to-stick-to-your-new-years.html

We have a merch store, check that out here! shopmsvixen.storenvy.com/

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SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES ARE A MUST

2020-01-15T23:55:00.001-05:00

Image Source: Nappy.co

We have arrived at the halfway mark of January 2020 and my anxiety is through the roof, and I know it's due to my self diagnosed social media addiction. I noticed one night that my nerves were high as I watched some Black women who I mostly enjoy live-tweet the Surviving R. Kelly part 2 docu-series. I reached out to a friend to tell her how much I wanted everyone to shut the fuck up. Now, I am all for the takedown, prosecution, and conviction of R. Kelly, so my gut feeling for everyone to hush had to be connected to my anxiety. I say often that when my social media seems like a noisy middle school cafeteria then it's time to put my phone down. But. . . .addiction.

Since a lot of the growth of Ms.Vixen relies on social media and I still run this platform alone, it's important that I create some serious boundaries between myself and these apps that have been the fuel of my anxiety lately. My mental health can not remain stable if I don't. The stability of my mind is more important than any work I'll ever produce. So, I put together a list of things I will be doing for the next 30 days to help me create a healthy boundary with social media.

Block, mute and delete.

This process took some time and happened at many different levels so I broke them down in steps

Get ride of lurkers, or people's profiles you are no interested in or no longer inspired by. I went through all my list and unfollowed/unfriended anyone who didn't seem active on their own profile OR folks I hardly engage with. This is a personal choice but people in my space "just starring" or "I'm just starring at" make me extremely uncomfortable (this is probably an NYC thing). I should feel comfortable in all my surroundings even if they're online.
Delete folks who "Gaslight Post" These are the people that share very controversial article photos and memes and caption it thoughts? They offer nothing but take everything, this uneven exchange of energy is never something you need to delete them fools. Also, people who are "friends," or follow me online just to counter and be negative about everything I say (including family and friends) can go as well. I would suggest if this is a family member or a friend let them know that you would rather not interact with their post, and you still love them.
Mute people, so you don't see their post for a while I continuously mute and unmute people throughout the year. This feature is on most social media, it allows you to still be friends follow this person but not see their post. My real-life interactions with people aren't continuous 24/7 interactions, so they also shouldn't be in my social media life 24/7 either. Muting allows you to take breaks from people and their thoughts. I think this is a very natural and safe thing to do. Also, this isn't rude, it's self-care sis.
Just press the block button. I am so quick to block a person lately. I use to not block people cause the tone on social media is that it boosts the person on the receiving end of the block ego, but I don't care about that at all anymore. It's for me, and my mental wellness and that is way more important than some person I most likely won't have a present IRL friendship with. For the folks you do know offline, who cares if you were great friends in college? If who they are online doesn't add to your life, and continuously drains you delete or block them if necessary. Also, I block accounts of any social media popular person whose ideas and core values don't align with my own. No, I don't really need to hear both sides especially if those kinds of accounts usually further an agenda that adds to my marginalization. This allows their content to almost never show up on my feed, I love blocking people now!

Time Limits

I have to be extremely honest with myself, I need a break from social media. I want to continue being honest with myself about not be ready to commit to that just yet. So I have set up time limits for myself. I mostly only use social media while on my long commute to and from work. My subway ride is about one hour and twenty minutes so that's plenty of time. You’ll never successfully set boundaries from social media if you ignore this simple tenet.

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Mute

We hear a ding, buzz or hum and suddenly we’re all over our phone, laptop or iPad. But you can avoid that by muting all of your social media notifications. I turned off all my notifications and since I have an iPhone I put all my social media in one folder. I made this folder very difficult to access quickly on my phone, so going on social media is always a task, and never something quick and easy for me to do.

Delete the App

I only plan on doing this if the other things I'm doing currently don't help. Sometimes you just need to completely disengage. Your social media accounts will obviously still be active, but if you temporarily delete the apps from your phone, you won’t have the desire to check your feeds over and over again.

Sometimes, Not Sharing Is Caring

You don’t have to share every single thought, incident, situation, dream, inspiration…get where I’m going? Recognizing this can keep you from spending all of your time on social media. Start using your notes app if there's a thought you need to release, or go old school and get a journal. Also, every headline you read doesn't need to be shared. We aren't news reporters, so chill.

Leave Your Phone Alone

Most of us carry our cell phone on our person at all times. But there are times when we simply don’t need it. Unless you’re expecting a very important phone call, there’s no reason you should bring your phone into the bathroom (also phones have so many germs, go wipe your phone down with an alcohol pad) if you’re taking a shower, or have it at your side while striking a yoga pose, or while getting dressed. Put the phone away. You will be all right.

We’re here to deliver incisive, witty, lit womanist perspectives on pop culture, media, and politics, things usually stolen from us for the mainstream to profit off of. Knowing this, we’re not compromising when it comes to how we’re funded. We believe that our financial and editorial independence are intrinsically tied, and any media outlet that denies the connection is lying to you and itself. Down with that?

MS. VIXEN BAD BITCHES PLAYLIST

2020-01-01T00:18:00.001-05:00

Ms. Vixen Bad Bitch Soundtrack for the New Year!

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS. . .WE DID THAT YA'LL!

2019-12-07T22:19:00.000-05:00

Photo Credit: Mahia

Sunday's Ms. Vixen IRL workshop was beautiful. In our last Bad Bitch Affirmation session of the year, we affirmed our sex lives with the help of Vanessa from Vagesteem workshops and podcasts!

Although I have worked with Vanessa before, and love her podcast, this was the first workshop of hers I attended. YA'LL. . . . it was fucking amazing!! There were so many things I myself didn't know about my reproductive and sexual pleasure systems. Vanessa opened the workshop letting us know everyone in the room is an expert cause all our stories are real, and that as some affirming shit! This made us all feel so comfortable and at home.

With lattes in hand from Cafe Con Libros, a Black woman-owned feminist books store and cafe, where the event was held, we got cozy and affirmed our Vaginas!

All guests received gift bags with swag from Ms. Vixen, Vagesteem and our event sponsor Teas by G . Teas by G is a tea company that infuses THC or CBD in their tea hot cocoa blends.

If you're interested in learning more about Vanessa's work with Vageestem, please visit her website Vagesteem, to check out her podcast, check out more of her workshops, and get her lit merch!!

Full event photos are available now for all of our current Ms. Vixen Patrons!

CATCH UP ON SEASON ONE OF MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST

2019-11-30T13:14:00.001-05:00

Ms. Vixen The Podcast is the space where we have conversations with Black folks that hold space in the world. Still in the tradition of being the destination for lit womanist perspectives, on pop culture, politics, media, and other incisive conversations usually stolen from us from the mainstream to profit off of. We aren't here to be polite or play around, we know Black Women, Black Femmes and Black Folks impacted by misogynoir, are the standard and not the exception. As always we will do more than just celebrate ourselves, we will always and forever turn the fuck up.

Check out all episodes of season one!

EPISODE 1: ACCIDENTAL ACTIVIST W/ DIAMOND STYLZ

On this episode, I give listeners a brief intro to Ms. Vixen the podcast and express my goal of creating digital spaces that center Black femmes. I have an amazing conversation for ya’ll with diamond styles the principal host of Marsha’s Plate: Black trans talk Podcast. We talk about how we met, the importance of community building, accidental activism and we dote all over each other, cause, why not! I really enjoyed this conversation and am so grateful Diamond is my first guest.

Listen Below!

EPISODE 2: AFFIRMING PLEASURE W/ EV'YAN WHITNEY

On this episode, (which is a week late, sorry ya'll) I get into how great my Bad Bitch Affirmation workshop went at the CareFreeBlackGirl cookout in Brooklyn. I show my first patron some love, Robert of the Grizzly and Kiki podcast, thanks boo!! Please check out their website to listen to their amazing podcast! www.grizzlykiki.com/ On this episode, I chat with sexuality doula and the host of the Sexually liberated woman podcast Ev'yan Whitney, and we chat about pleasure, her sexual healing journey, and we fangirl all over each other. I really hope you enjoy our conversation xoxo.

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EPISODE 3: FORMER SAGE BURNING BITCHES w/ JUJU BAE

On this episode, I do a little mental check-in and talk a little bit about finding balance while things pick up for me this summer. I had an epiphany and realize I hate She's Gotta Have It more than I thought I did previously. I'm actually offended. Then, today's conversation is with Juju Bae of a little Juju podcast. we had a great discussion about hoodooism.

Listen below

EPISODE 4: CONSENT. . . PERIODT W/ VANESSA

On this episode, I do a little fitness check-in about my new work out routine, hopefully, I can keep at it. On this episode, I chatted with Vanessa from Vageestem, she's a charismatic sexual health educator, and I had so much fun chatting with her, and I hope you thank its lit too!!

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EPISODE 5: BAD BITCH DOUALA W/ SEQUIOA KEMP

On this episode, I do a little check-in about romantic life and I chatted with Sequoia Kemp, a certified doula based in Syracuse NY. She is an amazing woman whose goal is to make doula services accessible to folks that give birth. Listen to the conversation learn so much about Back communal birthing practices.

Listen below

EPISODE 6: MENTAL ILLNES IS NORMAL w/ ASA

On this episode, I talk a bit about my little break from the podcast and I chatted with Asa of the Lithium to Lashes blog and ratchet aunty and uncles podcast. I want to have a conversation about mental health and wellness from a different perspective

Listen below

EPISODE 7: COMMUNITY HBIC w/ JANICIA

On this episode, I chat about what I did for my birthday, and why I prioritize celebrating my birthday the way I do. We also had an amazing conversation with my co-host from Tea with Queen and J. podcast Janicia. We talk community, cosplay and bad bitch energy, I hope you enjoy it!

Listen below

SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER ISN'T OBVIOUS!

2019-11-20T23:04:00.001-05:00

Photo Credit:NPR Music/YouTube

*This article has been adapted from a facebook post*

I don’t normally post about celebrities but this latest drama with Summer Walker hit me on a personal level.

Like Summer Walker I also live with Social Anxiety Disorder. I was recently diagnosed but I’ve been living with it my entire life. If you know me in IRL you probably noticed my “extreme shyness” (I go to parties and don’t talk to anyone for example). Social Anxiety Disorder can be DEBILITATING! Or not. It depends on how Society responds to the person with Social Anxiety. disorder

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Social Anxiety Disorder isn’t obvious! You can be beautiful and talented and still have Social Anxiety Disorder (look at me, lol… honestly joking omg). Social Anxiety Disorder is often formed after a person has experienced a traumatic event that leaves them feeling not good enough to be a part of society. Social Anxiety Disorder isn't just shyness - it’s isolation. Typically the person experiencing SOcial Anxiety Disorder is isolating THEMSELF because they’re afraid their presence will harm society. Its IRRATIONAL but that’s one of the hallmarks of an Anxiety Disorder.
If you suspect a person has Social Anxiety Disorder - mocking them, dismissing them, saying they’re Anti-social, or pointing out their talents to prove they don’t have Social Anxiety Disorder is VERY DAMAGING. By doing so you’re practically assuring the person with Social Anxiety Disorder won’t open up to you.
If a friend admits to you that they have Social Anxiety Disorder or struggle with another form of anxiety - DON’T BE DISMISSIVE! It took a lot for them to be vulnerable with you and it means they really trust you. Don’t give them a reason to believe they placed their trust in the wrong person. They will start to doubt themself.
If it really makes you uncomfortable that a person isn’t extroverted, interactive, etc - LOOK INWARD! It is NOT a personal judgment on you. Some people are so scared they’re going to make the wrong move, they freeze. It’s not you, it's them, AND THEY KNOW IT. Don’t punish them further for being afraid. Instead, ask yourself why you need to be loved and admired by everyone you meet.
A LOT of creative people have Social Anxiety Disorder. A LOT of creative people turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their Social Anxiety Disorder so they can deliver their gifts to the public, and end up tragic documentary figures on E! Be empathetic so we don’t resort to self-destructive behaviors. It really cost nothing to be empathetic (except to realize that your actions impact people and you’re not the center of the universe). Creative People are putting themselves out there ALL THE TIME - so if they say they have Social Anxiety Disorder and are honest about their limitations - LET THEM LIVE.

There’s probably a bunch more I can write on the subject but this post is getting long. Anyway, SHOUTOUT to all the warriors and baddies with Social Anxiety Disorder. We matter.

Written by Liz, be sure to follow her on twitter @blackbirdblues

PICK ME PLAYLIST

2019-11-03T17:00:00.000-05:00

It happens to the best of us, sometimes you want to be choose. So although you aren't living to fit into a mold for a partner you haven't met yet, sometimes you feel like. . . .well damn, PICK ME! Welp, now there's a playlist for that!

What songs would you add to the list? Let us know in the comments below

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS: AFFIRMING OUR SEX LIVES

2019-10-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

This session we will discuss affirming our sex lives. The workshop is for folks with vaginas, and we will be joining with Vanessa Geffrard of Vagesteem. Vanessa is the founder of VagEsteem™, a workshop series, and podcast encouraging good and healthy sex through courageous conversations.

Spreading VagEsteem in a World that Teaches you to Hate Yourself... OR Vag 101

About 40% of folks with vaginas and vulvas say that they are not confident in the appearance and size. Society often makes us feel that there is something wrong with the looks, appearance and even the smell of their bodies. Through the use of props, trivia, and open discussion, participants will engage in a series of activities that will leave you empowered, intrigued, and ready to explore! VagEsteem workshops were built on the idea that if folks love what's below the belt, they are more likely to care for and bring pleasure it's way.

Join us and affirm your sex life with the help of Ms. Vixen and Vagesteem

WE GATHERED AND MARCHED FOR JUSTICE LIKE GENERATIONS BEFORE US

2019-10-06T21:50:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit: Diamond Stylz

This past weekend I had the honor of being invited as a photographer to the inaugural National Trans Visibility March. I was equipped with a camera and the cultural competency needed to showcase the beauty and the magic my community has to offer the world. What better way to serve that gift than through images from this groundbreaking event that brought together over 3000 people of trans experiences and their allies. My hometown friend, Marissa Miller and her nationwide trans leadership team worked tirelessly to coordinate the Torch Gala that honors long-time organizers and new emerging powerhouse activists. They brought some of the brightest trans minds to speak at the Freedom Plaza in Washington, DC to inspire and ignite awareness and set the groundwork for the future.

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Queer people have gathered here amongst these monuments and plazas decades before strategizing to speak truth to power and step even farther toward the freedom this country owes us. Bayard Rustin showed us how to do marches and non-violence like a pro resulting with the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963. With homophobia and respectability politics hanging over the culture like smog, he had to step back from the spotlight of his own creation so that his mere sexuality wouldn’t undermine its effectiveness. By stepping back into the shadows, he let his work and dedication set the stage for King’s famous “I Have A Dream” speech and subsequently King’s martyrdom. That was in 1963. 20 years later in 1983, another March on Washington for Jobs, Peace, and Freedom was organized again. That homophobic smog had cleared very little. So little that in the last hours just before the march they decide to let a lesbian speaker take the stage after a tooth and nail fight between Black Christian conservatives like the then 23-year-old Donna Brazil and the National Black Coalition of Gays and Lesbians to get this woman 3 minutes of talking time. From the shadows of this battle behind the scenes emerged the late great Audre Lorde. Some people in the crowd booed her, but as soon as she began to speak the undeniable truth, they shut up and listened. Here is a link to Nikeeta and Money of the QueerWOC podcast discussing the account in detail. Other marches followed. The Million Man March of the 90s and the most recent Women’s march being the most notable. So it was only a matter of time before the trans children and grandchildren of these crowds followed in their footsteps and create our own.

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I must be honest. We are in an era where white male terrorism is a common occurrence in America. The lives of citizens don’t matter to these bereft vigilantes petrified in racism, bigotry and patriarchy. These murderous mindsets are being reignited by the current occupant of the White House and the long legacy of hate. So I had a level of anxiety gathering in mass in one location. This would have been a perfect opportunity for some lunatic to get us right together. I found myself looking for suspicious people who didn't look like they belonged. As I scanned rooftops, there was a moment my heart pounding because I saw somebody on a rooftop with what I thought could've been a rifle but it was a person with a long lens camera capturing the event as I was. I wish that I could say that I was being irrational letting my paranoia get the best of me, but then I remember Charlottesville, El Paso, Dayton, and the Pulse night club massacre. With the courage and protection of our ancestors on our side, we marched and gathered in defiance of fear because we knew and chanted in unison “We have nothing to lose but our chains.” Assata Shakur would be proud.

There was a star-studded list of speakers employed to kick the march off. The event was hosted by Tiq Milan and Mia Satya. The opening was powerfully delivered by Reverend Valerie Spencer followed by a slew of community activist such as Pose actress Angelica Ross, new HRC president Alphonso David, congressional delegates Eleanor Holmes Norton and Sheila Alexander-Reid, activist supermom Jodie Patterson, and cultural commentator Ashlee Marie Preston to name a few. I was in awe by the care taken to choose the diversity of the speakers. After two hours of oratory delights, we began to march down Pennsylvania Ave and 13th lead by the young and vibrant Toni Michelle Williams of Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative. We chanted “No Justice, No Peace” while carrying a 25 ft trans flag passed the Trump hotel, then we switched to “Stop It, stop killing our girls” or “We will not be erased” as we walked passed monumental statues of white slave owners revered by this society that perfectly fine with throwing our trans soldiers away. We were there to bring awareness to the landmark case the will be brought to the Supreme Court on Oct. 8th to ultimately decide whether Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex and national origin, also covers discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation. We were there as Americans utilizing our right to critique our government and to say that we will never be delegated to the shadows and that our lives matter. While this event included all trans lives, there was a resounding emphasis on Black trans women's lives needing more focus and protection due to the epidemic of deaths around our country. For most of the event, I was mingling in the speaker’s tent soaking up the community love. When the march started, I was on the front line carrying a sign with the face of Tracey Single, a black trans woman murder and found dead on a gas station parking lot on July 30th in my current residence of Houston, Texas. I could not see the crowd in its totality. I was disappointed by what I thought was a low turnout nut I was wrong. When I got to the location where the march ended four blocks from the capitol on 4th and Pennsylvania, I turned around in awe because the street was still filled with people blocks down the road. My eyes swelled with tears of joy and affirmation. Seeing this trans collective of diverse people on one accord was soul shifting. This was a moment I will never forget.

If you would like to see all the photos from the march and gala, go over to Marsha’s Plates facebook page

Check out Diamond Stylz and more of her amazing work by following her on twitter @Diamondstylz

HOW GROWN FOLKS MAKE FRIENDS

2019-09-29T16:22:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit nappy.co

As we all get older and make changes in our lives, it changes the landscape of our friendships as well. Some of our "down for whatever" friends have changes in their lives that change the relationship. You may see your friends less and the social activities you use to enjoy together may not be how you'll hang out now, and that's a natural thing.

As a child, I made most of my friends at school and in the mosque I attended. These were spaces where I had continuous contact with the same people who had a similar interest or background. As children, our parents or guardians generally set these kinds of spaces up for us. They decide where we lived and the places we went, but the common occurrence is the continuous interaction you have with the people in these social settings. This is is how we build relationships.

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So why does it seem harder to make friends as an adult? I think as an adult we care a lot more what people think and we carry baggage from past traumas. Also, we don't generally create social settings our parents created for us as children. We tend to go out communally, which deters us from meeting new people. As children, we went into our many social settings alone and had to make friends there. This doesn't happen often as adults unless you move to another city. Mirroring how we made friends as children can make it easier to start this process as an adult.

Here are some ways I think are helpful for making friends as an adult

Join a meet-up group

Meetup is accessible on a personal computer, tablet, or through its phone-based app. If you enjoy reading books, knitting, watching movies, traveling, or indulging in spa treatments in your spare time, there are specific groups tailored to your hobbies, ethnicity, and even your job or college major. In addition, if you're the outgoing type or your passion isn't currently represented on the platform, feel free to start your own group for members to join.

Take an adult class

Kinda like you did while in school, learning something new is a great place to make new friends. Tap into that energy as an adult by participating in an adult class or workshop that centers on what you're really interested in. Need to brush up on your skills in the kitchen? Take a cooking or baking class, and spark a conversation with the person at your workstation. From crafting and dancing to writing and cycling, you can search for available classes that are available near you online, or check out community colleges or local institutions offering self-improvement or recreational courses.

Join a book club, podcast or TV group

If you like reading, book clubs are a great way to meet people with a common interest, but I like to take it further and add podcasts and TV shows. It's great to have conversations about the media you consume and discussing it with your homies. There's always something you'll have interpreted differently, that'll be cool to talk about.

Happy hour

So, I'll be honest and say I was hesitant about putting this on my list, but when I asked people on my social media they all said this works for them. Many people do go to happy hours and meet new people all the time. I have never gone to a bar alone and will challenge myself to do this more, so I'll keep yall updated on how this goes!

Social Media

Social media is a great way to meet people all over the world. I have made friends all over the USA through twitter, and yes, we've met in real life! Even if you don't meet IRL, it's a great opportunity to find a community and people with interest similar to yours.

Are there some suggestions you have that I left out? Please let me know in the comment section below!

By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on womanism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul.

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MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 7 COMMUNITY HBIC w/ JANICIA

2019-09-25T23:19:00.000-04:00

Links mentioned this episode:
Check out J.'s website and podcast at http://TeawithqueenandJ.com

Follow Janicia on socials:
Twitter.com/janiciaf
I nstagram.com/janiciaf

Janicia cause you believe in paying Black women www.cash.app/$janiciaf

We have a merch store, check that out here! https://shopmsvixen.storenvy.com/

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MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 6 MENTAL ILLNES IS NORMAL w/ ASA

2019-09-01T12:19:00.000-04:00

On this episode, about my little break from the podcast and I chatted with Asa of the lithium to lashes blog and ratchet aunty and uncles podcast. I want to have a conversation about mental health and wellness from a different perspective

Links mentioned this episode:

Check out Asa's blog http://www.lithiumtolashes.com/
Check out Asa's podcast http://mochaminutes.libsyn.com/website

Follow Asa on socials:
Twitter.com/lithiumtolashes
Instagram.com/lithiumtolashes

Donate to Asa's Patreon:www.patreon.com/lithiumtolashes

Stay in touch with Ms. Vixen by following us on the socials:

Twitter.com/_msvixen_

Instagram.com/_msvixen_

Facebook.com/msvixen

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ABORTION APOCOLYPSE

2019-08-21T07:51:00.001-04:00

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Originally published on talynnkel.com

It’s really hard looking at you fuckers who are content to let the world burn because you think you’re fireproof.

I am legit sitting here struggling to arrange my thoughts around the sheer number of goofy motherfuckers who think that being anti-abortion is moral. To think that denying any person who could potentially be pregnant any choice about that is somehow humane is fucking mind-boggling to me. I was born after Roe vs Wade. I grew up knowing that if I didn’t want to be pregnant for any reason, I had the option. I have spoken out and financially supported organizations intent on providing that option because it’s a fucking medical procedure that your corrupt, bottom-feeding asses have made into a ridiculous moral issue. ALL for something that you not only couldn’t but wouldn’t be able to save should it expel itself out of a body. You’d be grossed out cuz it’s not a fucking person. And to lie and tell yourselves that it could be is some high form white people fuckery. Cuz y’all don’t give one flying fuck about too many living people, often citing the same morality guiding your hand on abortion.

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It’s almost like you have something to gain from oppressing the rights of others. It’s almost like you benefit someway when other people are trapped, desperate, hurting, and fighting to survive. Like it makes us easier to distract and control or some shit.

Black people who are anti-abortion confuse the fuck out of me considering the ways our bodies are manipulated and controlled by media, police, employers, etc. How can anyone with our history deny body autonomy to anyone else? Black men who support this confuse me and Black womxn who co-sign on this shit confuse me even more. Like, WTF? How do you prioritize unwanted health risks and possible potential life over people who are right here, trying to figure shit out and live the best they can? How can you willfully decide not just to limit their opportunities based on some shady moral shit, but then support punishment for it?

White womxn are just trash. Y’all loud and wrong, quiet and wrong, defensive and wrong, offensive and wrong…y’ all stay backing white men thinking they are going to protect you when every fucking time you only make yourselves more vulnerable to them. You support them building weapons against you because you think it will protect whiteness when really it just exploits you. And you don’t give a fuck. You can’t. You keep birthing, enabling, and protecting these fucking monsters only to be confused when the monsters attack you.

We have civilly both-sided our way into continued stolen elections and the intentional destruction of civil rights, and white people still don’t think it’s a fucking problem. The only possible conclusion I can reach as I watch this shit is this: You don’t want to save yourselves – you want to save whiteness. And whiteness is white supremacist, ableist, sizeist, patriarchal capitalism – something too many of you has decided to die for since you seek to deny women medical care.

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I’ve been pro-abortion all my life. If you don’t want to be pregnant, you shouldn’t have to be. For years, I fell into the rhetoric trap, parsing out the ways it should be acceptable under the misguided notion that I could find a compromise, but there is no compromise on human rights. There is no compromise on body autonomy. There is no compromise on my decision to have a medical procedure when I knew I did not want to be a parent. I have always been aware of the limits that parenthood would place on my life as our society punishes women for having children. Pregnancy and its “positive” outcome are a direct line to increased economic and social oppression and exploitation and I decided to opt-out. It’s only marginally accepted in this society to choose not to have kids, but it has never been openly acceptable to have an abortion, despite the many women, married and single, who have them and don’t talk about it.

Abortion was one of the things that I vocally supported and refused to admit to doing. I decided that my decision wasn’t available for public consumption, because the voice coming from this fat, Black, femme body doesn’t fucking matter when it comes to legislation, patriarchy, and white fuckery. All I’d be doing is providing yet another reason for people to attack and dismiss me. Another way to put my economic stability at risk. Another way to be ostracized and scorned. I have more than enough of those so why add another, when it would add nothing to the conversation?

And my talking about it now won’t matter because human rights are a debate for white people. White people created “white people” specifically to deny other human rights. It’s easier to elevate one over another than one over many, which explains limiting people to two genders, male and female, and why white people see racial identity as white and other. White males get the power. Others do not.

White womxn refuse to see their “other” status. They think being white erases that and there is nothing anyone can say to make them realize that because for them, it’s not about whether or not they are in the crosshairs…it’s that they are the last ones to be in the crosshairs. We are playing a game called “who dies first” and in the gender wars, it’s anyone who isn’t a man. This thing where we sacrifice others on the altar of white supremacist, ableist, sizeist, patriarchal capitalism for the illusion of safety erodes our fucking humanity. It erodes our communities. It destroys everything and everyone so that white people can pretend they are the best humans on a planet they murder.

Black and Indigenous people have been saying stop for centuries. Live to co-exist with the environment. But white supremacy dictates that we abuse the environment. Exploit it. Consume its resources and pollute it. “Other” people are fodder for their vision of power and this shit is evident in every fucking way, but too many of us pretend it’s a conspiracy so that we can figure out who it is acceptable to destroy in our bids for power.

I am one of the more acceptable ones to crush in that bid for power for many people. It is a reality I struggle to manage, especially when I am one of many voices screaming at the top of my lungs at how this is destroying all of us. But I am a fat, Black womxn. My voice is untrustworthy. My truth is unverified. And my experiences are my overactive imagination. Because white people create any and every reason to avoid the truth and spit out every teaspoon of the bitter reality that they have written the recipe for. And I will not survive to see their inevitable downfall. I will not get to see them burn in the ramifications of their selfish decisions. I will die, probably sooner than later, knowing that everything will continue falling to shit for the masses as swaths of the masses choose to protect whiteness and its elites. All because white people want to feel good about the illusion that they are more important than anyone else. And they will destroy anyone who contradicts that. Especially for people like me.

There is no change coming because the people who could do it, don’t see the benefit in it. So, we’ll keep trying to survive the monsters they continue to create and protect while everything burns around us. Why change where there are billions who will probably burn before you will?

Photograph by Geek Behind the Lens Photography Photoshop edits by Acdramon's Artist Cove Additional media and press coverage of TaLynn Kel.

Photograph By Geek Behind The Lens Photography
Written By: Talyn Kel

Writer. Speaker. Cosplayer. Womanist.

Contact her: talynnkel@gmail.com

#5 BAD BITCH DOUALA W/ SEQUIOA KEMP

2019-08-15T08:20:00.001-04:00

Links mentioned this episode:

Join me at the Ms. Vixen IRL event, Bad Bitch Affirmations: Our Bodies workshop. Entry is a donation of your choice: www.msvixenmag.com/2019/07/affirmi…s-workshop.html
Instagram: www.instagram.com/doula4aqueen/
Twitter: twitter.com/urhighness_love
Support Sequoia initiative by making her services more accessible by sending her a donation on her gofundme www.gofundme.com/f/nurse-midwife-…p_cp+share-sheet
Twitter.com/_msvixen_
Instagram.com/_msvixen_
Facebook.com/msvixen

Follow Sequioa on all the social media

Stay in touch with Ms. Vixen by following us on the socials:

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LISTEN HERE!

EP #4 CONSENT. . . PERIODT W/ VANESSA

2019-08-03T19:11:00.001-04:00

On this episode, I do a little fitness check-in about my new work out routine, hopefully, I can keep at it. On this episode, I chatted with Venessa from Vageestem, she's a charismatic sexual health educator, and I had so much fun chatting with her, and I hope you thank its lit too!!

Read Full Article

EP #3 FORMER SAGE BURNING BITCHES w/ JUJU BAE

2019-07-14T23:14:00.001-04:00

Links mentioned this episode:

Join me at the Ms. Vixen IRL event, Bad Bitch Affirmations: Our Bodies workshop. Entry is a donation of your choice: www.msvixenmag.com/2019/07/affirmi…s-workshop.html

Listen to Tea with Queen and J.'s She's Gotta Have it review series: Tea-with-queen-and-j – We-gotta-have-it-dajumpoff-bootyfull

Listen to A Little Juju Podcast: @user-991694293
Follow her on all the social media
Instagram: www.instagram.com/itsjujubae/

Twitter: twitter.com/itsjujubae

Stay in touch with Ms. Vixen by following us on the socials:

Twitter.com/_msvixen_
Instagram.com/_msvixen_
Facebook.com/msvixen

Help sustain, progress and keep Ms. Vixen going by hitting us up with a donation: www.msvixenmag.com/p/blog-page.html

Subscribe to our newsletter an get all Ms. Vixen info sent straight to your email: www.msvixenmag.com/p/donate.html

EP #2: AFFIRMING PLEASURE W/ EV'YAN WHITNEY

2019-07-05T13:41:00.000-04:00

Links mentioned this episode:

CareFreeBlackGirl writeup:
www.msvixenmag.com/2019/06/the-car…ut-was-lit.html

Information for Queer Global, and Marsha's Plate's live show:
www.instagram.com/p/By5XXiullLj/

Get More Ev' yan Whitney by visiting her website evyanwhitney.com/

Follow Ev'yan Whitney on Instagram: www.instagram.com/evyan.whitney/

LISTEN HERE!

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS: OUR BODIES

2019-07-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

Ms. Vixen IRL is an event series of workshops & conversations that center Black women and femmes through communal conversations. This is a space for us to affirm every bad bitch thing about us.

This month we will discuss "How do I feel about my body?" We want thoughts on what you think about how your body feels, looks and functions, then we will go further to affirm that our bodies are enough! It's a space free to get things out, take things in and leaves with new thoughts and feelings about your body and other women and femmes.

Please note, this event will begin at 5:30 pm sharp so please be on time!

EP #1: ACCIDENTAL ACTIVIST W/ DIAMOND STYLZ

2019-06-27T21:02:00.001-04:00

THE CAREFREEBLACKGIRL COOKOUT WAS LIT!

2019-06-20T22:42:00.002-04:00

Photo Credit: @caliyorkphotography

The CAREFREEBLACKGIRL cookout was amazing, and we were so happy to be a part of it again this year!

I had a great time hosting Bad Bitch affirmation workshops, We set lit affirmations, danced, drank and did everything #CarefreeBlackgirls do! We’re so happy to be a part of this amazing event and will definitely be back next year 🙌🏾🙌🏾 thank you @carefreeblackgirl_inc for bringing this to Brooklyn!

See you all next year, now check out these photos from the cookout. Photo credit @caliyorkphotography on IG.

SUMMER FINE PLAYLIST

2019-06-01T23:36:00.003-04:00

What's summer without a lit playlist.

Here's what we're into to turn up this summer!

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MS. VIXEN: THE PODCAST SEASON ONE TRAILOR

2019-05-28T22:48:00.000-04:00

It's our episode trailer, and we're so excited to share this with the world!

Ms.Vixen is your destination for lit womanist perspectives, on pop culture, politics, media, and other incisive conversation usually stolen from us from the mainstream to profit off of. Yup, Ms. Vixen isn’t here to be polite or play around, we know Black Women, Black Femmes and Black Folks impacted by misogynoir, are the standard and not the exception. With Ms. Vixen magazine, Ms. Vixen IRL our workshop series, and now Ms. Vixen the podcast we will do more than just celebrate ourselves, we will always and forever turn the fuck up.

Ms.Vixen the podcast, will be a bi-weekly podcast debuting June 3rd 0f 2019. We’ll be having amazing conversations with folks that affirm all the things we need. Be sure to subscribe on Apple podcast, Soundcloud, Spotify, Castbox, Google podcast, and Sticher.

Listen to the episode below

Ms. Vixen IRL: CareFreeBlackGirk Cookout Brooklyn

2019-05-16T00:29:00.000-04:00

Ms. Vixen will be participating in the CareFreeBlackGirl CookOut for a second year! This is an interactive day festival that promotes, women empowerment, entrepreneurship, and the arts!

Come chill with us at our tent for a Free Bad Bitch Affirming Workshops for this June’s Ms. Vixen IRL! All workshops will be hosted by Ms. Vixen's creator Queen. You will learn, how to affirm the things that fill your bad bitch energy to the brim and then some.

All workshops will be an hour long, workshop times will be 3:00pm, 4:30pm, and 6:00pm.

Get more info about the CareFreeBlackGirl Cookout, and get your free RSVP below!

Location : Hebert Von King Park

Time - 2pm - 7:00 pm

what to expect

•female DJs , performers & host

•vendors

•glam bar - braids, lashes

•health & wellness activity ( meditation, yoga, or aerobics)

•good vibes

•giveaways

•field day like games - ( hot potato, red light / green light & More)

What To Bring

•Entry is free we just ask that you bring $ for vendors

•Blanket for grass

•Good Vibes

•comfy clothes

RSVP & GET READY !

FOOD. GAMES. MELANIN

RSVP HERE

DESTIGMATIZING PSYCH MEDS

2019-04-28T16:45:00.001-04:00

Photo Credit: Nappy.co
Reprint from LithiumtoLashes.com

Choosing a treatment for mental health concerns is a very personal decision. Whatever you choose to do or not do should be thought out carefully and researched before you embark on your journey. However, one treatment method that I have consistently seen misrepresented and subject to fear mongering by people who either have no experience with it or who have had bad experiences with it is the use of psychotropic drugs. As a result of an irresponsible US pharmaceutical industry, the ability to both create and find a growing number of conspiracy theories and false information via the internet, the proliferation of negative experiences, and ignoring the lived experiences and testimonies of those who they have helped, psych meds have gotten a bad rap.

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Despite my own, often painful and frustrating, journey with psych meds I still don’t count them out as a beneficial and effective form of treatment for many, many people because I understand my own anecdotal experience doesn’t trump data or other people’s experiences. Due to the enzymes, my body produces I cannot properly process most psychotropic medications and have experienced some awful, sometimes rare and life-threatening, side effects. I didn’t find this out until much later in life after having felt like a guinea pig since my adolescence. However, I don’t fault most of my psychiatrists for their determination to find something that could help me using trial and error because the genetic testing, known as pharmacogenetics, was not available until very recently. It is, however, costly and not always covered by insurance. I hope with growing access to pharmacogenetic testing that psychiatry will become less hit or miss because that is a huge factor in why psych meds have such a bad reputation.

A big contributing factor to the vilification of psych meds, particularly in the US, is the justified distrust of the pharmaceutical industry. Medicine should not be a profit-driven industry, but in America it is. This has led the way to medications and treatments for various conditions being approved well before the appropriate level of testing could be done, incentivizing doctors to prescribe medications that have limited research available about them, marketing of pharmaceuticals through reps who have no actual medical background or extensive understanding of the medications they are pushing, advertising complex medicines directly to consumers much like sugary cereals are advertised to children in a bid to get them to demand them, and a gaggle of other concerns. However, even with all of the issues regarding “big pharma” numerous treatments that they have developed and put on the market are overwhelmingly safe and effective.

Deadhead the Flowers of Your Dreams

Even with the bad PR around pharmaceutical companies, I believe that one of the biggest reasons the disdain for psych meds has grown over the years is because of the experimental nature of prescription. Although people can and do also have negative and sometimes debilitating side effects from medications for other physical illnesses, the stigma around mental illness and the fact that the brain is the most complicated and least understood organ of the human body amplifies the distrust around psych meds. There are countless forums related to psych meds and their side effects with many people urging others to not just stay away from a particular medication, but to forgo medication as a treatment option altogether because of their own experiences. It would be different if the forums were used as a place to ask if others experienced the same side effects, ask what they did to cope with them, or just be an all-around supportive environment, but that is not always the case. Too often I see people respond to questions about medications with anger and anecdotal or false information, sometimes going as far as to shame people for choosing to take medication. This is not just dangerous, but ableist as well. There are also those with good intentions but terrible wording like the below exchange on Twitter:

I could very well have turned out to be one of those people, but I understand that each person responds to both medications and what can be considered innocuous things differently. It’s why some people will end up hospitalized from penicillin and others live’s will be saved. It’s why I can eat all the strawberries I want but someone else may go into anaphylactic shock. Acknowledging that we all don’t, and won’t, respond to treatments in the exact same way is extremely important to me. It’s why I always add the qualifier “for me” or some variation of that when speaking about treatments that have and have not worked in my experience.

I would never try to dissuade anyone from starting medication or pressure them to come off of medication. My approach is to empower people to talk openly and honestly, as well as advocate for themselves when it comes to discussing medication options with their doctors. Even when I’m told about side effects and a person expresses they can’t handle them, I would never tell someone to stop cold turkey, but to consult with their doctors immediately on how to safely stop or mitigate side effects. As well versed as I am in mental health as a consumer, student, and former provider I am not a doctor and I don’t pretend to be.

Psychiatric meds should be treated by the public like any other medication used to treat a physical illness. Just because mental illness affects the brain that doesn’t make it any less of a physical illness, and it doesn’t make the need for medical treatment any less necessary. As someone who has worked to advocate for people with mental illnesses and as someone who has a mental illness, one of the biggest hurdles regarding treatment and supports is that it is treated as a monolithic set of conditions. Even those who have nothing but the best of intentions, who are deemed qualified to create programs and educational material to improve the quality of life of those with mental health concerns and destigmatize mental illness fall into these trappings. Imagine treating all forms of cancer with the same treatment regimen and the poor outcomes that would produce. Yet, we continue to see this when it comes to discussions around mental illness. We have to get away from this way of thinking or we will continue to scare people out of getting the help they need and can benefit from.

By Lithium to Lashes, Check out more of her work on her blog LithiumtoLashes.com
Follow her on Twitter, and Instagram

Ms. Vixen

#8 BREAKING THE FORMULA W/ UCHECHI CHINYERE

MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST MINISODE #7.5: NEW YEAR, WHO THIS?

SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES ARE A MUST

Block, mute and delete.

Time Limits

Mute

Delete the App

Sometimes, Not Sharing Is Caring

Leave Your Phone Alone

MS. VIXEN BAD BITCHES PLAYLIST

Ms. Vixen Bad Bitch Soundtrack for the New Year!

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS. . .WE DID THAT YA'LL!

CATCH UP ON SEASON ONE OF MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST

EPISODE 1: ACCIDENTAL ACTIVIST W/ DIAMOND STYLZ

Listen Below!

EPISODE 2: AFFIRMING PLEASURE W/ EV'YAN WHITNEY

Listen Below

EPISODE 3: FORMER SAGE BURNING BITCHES w/ JUJU BAE

Listen below

EPISODE 4: CONSENT. . . PERIODT W/ VANESSA

Listen below

EPISODE 5: BAD BITCH DOUALA W/ SEQUIOA KEMP

Listen below

EPISODE 6: MENTAL ILLNES IS NORMAL w/ ASA

Listen below

EPISODE 7: COMMUNITY HBIC w/ JANICIA

Listen below

SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER ISN'T OBVIOUS!

PICK ME PLAYLIST

It happens to the best of us, sometimes you want to be choose. So although you aren't living to fit into a mold for a partner you haven't met yet, sometimes you feel like. . . .well damn, PICK ME! Welp, now there's a playlist for that!

What songs would you add to the list? Let us know in the comments below

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS: AFFIRMING OUR SEX LIVES

WE GATHERED AND MARCHED FOR JUSTICE LIKE GENERATIONS BEFORE US

HOW GROWN FOLKS MAKE FRIENDS

Join a meet-up group

Take an adult class

Join a book club, podcast or TV group

Happy hour

Social Media

By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on womanism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. Follow Queen Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_Instagram @TheQueenSpeaks_

MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 7 COMMUNITY HBIC w/ JANICIA

MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 6 MENTAL ILLNES IS NORMAL w/ ASA

ABORTION APOCOLYPSE

#5 BAD BITCH DOUALA W/ SEQUIOA KEMP

EP #4 CONSENT. . . PERIODT W/ VANESSA

EP #3 FORMER SAGE BURNING BITCHES w/ JUJU BAE

EP #2: AFFIRMING PLEASURE W/ EV'YAN WHITNEY

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS: OUR BODIES

EP #1: ACCIDENTAL ACTIVIST W/ DIAMOND STYLZ

THE CAREFREEBLACKGIRL COOKOUT WAS LIT!

The CAREFREEBLACKGIRL cookout was amazing, and we were so happy to be a part of it again this year!

SUMMER FINE PLAYLIST

What's summer without a lit playlist.

Here's what we're into to turn up this summer!

MS. VIXEN: THE PODCAST SEASON ONE TRAILOR

Ms. Vixen IRL: CareFreeBlackGirk Cookout Brooklyn

What To Bring

DESTIGMATIZING PSYCH MEDS

By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on womanism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul.

Follow Queen
Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_
Instagram @TheQueenSpeaks_