http://www.michaelhay.com/radio/MH_BBC_Radio_Coventry.mp3

I'’ll get back to the observations about stuttering in general very soon I promise.

This is a very similar situation if not identical to the one Gareth was in 5 years ago in Pop Idol when I used to go down to London each weekend to coach him. They knew Gareth’s involvement in the McGuire Programme and contacted myself and Matt. The contestant’s name is Danny Rhodes and he is really motivated to do anything he can to work on his speech and be able to handle the live interviews.

Obviously the difference is that he is not a McGuire graduate as he’s not attended a full intensive course. We agreed to help him out because obviously it’s great for getting more awareness of stammering out there and also of course we can get more awareness of the McGuire Programme but also it’s just quite hard to refuse to help a stammerer who wants to be helped. So after we agreed to help, the next problem was to work out what we could do to help in such a short space of time.

We had four hours with him last week and we basically gave him a taster of what happens on a course and got him breathing and using some tools. The main thing is that we gave him much better understanding of what is happening when he stammers, gave him some tools to give him confidence and also he now really wants to come on a full course. Obviously he hasn’t had the intensity to allow him to stay strong easily but it is a taster for bigger things to come. He was really focussed and motivated during the session though. It was great to see.

Obviously the pressure will be for him to speak fluently on TV like it was for Gareth. The press and the show are also liking the story about how Gareth’s speech programme is helping him but obviously Matt and I are absolutely stressing to everyone that he has not had a full McGuire course and therefore he is absolutely not cured or anything like that. We can’t wave a magic wand in 6 hours. We are stressing that we have chatted and helped his confidence etc but nobody will be expecting him to be speaking fluently because of the McGuire Programme on Saturday. So it’s also a great chance to continue to educate people about stammering and McGuire recovery.

The session last night went really well too. We focussed on really projecting his voice and not holding back and he took to it very well. He’s looking forward to the show on Saturday night. Matt will be going down to the show with him on Saturday to help coaching again and that will just give him a confidence boost for the live interview.

Gareth did very well indeed and even managed to make Ricky Gervais laugh his head off. Not easy I’m sure. Matt Wilton and myself were in the audience and were very proud of what Gareth has achieved. I can tell you we partied that night that’s for sure. On to bigger and better things!

Part 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FleJnFSpgpE
Part 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m93E2k2jwCc

Stuttering is no respecter of background, ethnicity, religion, skin colour, education, social class or age. On the McGuire Programme we have people who are brick layers, brain surgeons, cab drivers, unemployed, lawyers, international footballers, pop stars. Stuttering is a leveller. It brings everybody onto the same level playing field. Nobody is special. Everyone is special.

I think that’s why I have so many friends who are on the McGuire Programme, despite the fact that they are totally different from me in terms of age, background and experience. You just all know that you’ve been through the same thing and that you are looking at life in the same way. That’s quite rare.

People are labelled all the time. We are constantly having to define ourselves in polls or job applications by ticking boxes that represent who we are. These are then used to help organisations and governments with stats and numbers. It makes it easier for them. But it generalises us. It pigeonholes unique individuals into categories. If you are a stuttering, Welsh, conservative doctor what do you call yourself first and foremost? Are you a stutterer first? Does that affect everything else? Or are you a doctor first and foremost? Or c) all of the above?

If you label yourself can that be limiting? Can it be self perpetuating? If you label yourself stupid you may never think you can go for that degree. If you say “I’ve got a terrible memory” will you ever be able to remember things or will you just fall back into that comfortable label and not make the effort?

Alcholics Anonymous members label themselves as Recovering Alcoholics. This is to address their problem, take ownership and be positive. Is it the same with stammerers? Admitting you have a problem with your speech is crucial if you want to become a better speaker. You must be honest with yourself and others if you want to be able to address it fully and move on. I call myself a Recovering Stutterer because I feel that is a good way to communicate my situation plus I feel it is a positive way to express it. I could call myself an Improving Speaker, a Eloquent Trainee, a Person Who is Working on Their Speech. To me it doesn’t really matter. To me all that is important is that I am not hiding from my situation. I am facing up to the challenge before me.

Do I want to call myself a Recovering Stutterer all my life? That’s an interesting argument. I could say I will never be ashamed of the problem I have had as it has made me who I am. It could also be argued, however, that if I keep calling myself this then I will always be thinking about it and I will never be able to break free from my past and move on. Maybe one day I will call myself a Recovered Stutterer. Maybe I will call myself an Eloquent Speaker. Or maybe I’ll call just call myself Michael.

Is labelling good? Is it honest? Does it hold you back? My personal view is that I think it simply depends on the attitude with which you do it. It can be used as a way to hide or it can be used as a way to address challenges.

Thoughts?

My other resolution is to not get too hung up about my speech in any way this year. Sometimes I get too worked up about an upcoming situation at work even though I know I have all the tools to handle it and everyone knows I have a stutter. I still waste a bit of energy on it that I don’t have to. Sometimes I get too precious about being a course instructor on the McGuire Programme and how I feel I should speak 100% eloquently at all times. Sometimes I am too hard on myself if I have a bad speaking day. Sometimes I think about my speech when I should just be thinking about the moment.

No matter what happens I won’t judge my speech against anyone else’s or against any perfectionist personal yard stick that I have. This year is the year of taking things as they come - adapt and overcome. Bring it on.

The day itself seemed to come and go in the wink of an eye. Everything happened so quickly and we didn’t have time to draw our breathes let alone be nervous. Saying that though, myself and Claire Feehan only really perfected (I use the term loosely) our two song and dance routines on the morning of the show itself. Rehearsals also didn’t go perfectly with a few people forgetting lines and no-one being able to recapture the point in the script. But as they say, it will be alright on the night, and indeed it was. Everyone did a sterling effort. The only problem was it went by too quickly. After working on our lines, movements, acting and songs for over 4 months it almost felt as if a one night only performance wasn’t enough. I think we’d all love to do it again. We’ve caught that bug, luvvy.

When Brian Richmond and Tom Skinner asked us 5 months ago if we fancied a challenge it all seemed so distant and so easy to say yes. I don’t think anyone appreciated just how much work it would be, especially for Brian and Tom! But everyone involved was a star. Massive thanks to Tom and particularly Brian, who was our director, for putting in so much effort to make it all a reality. Thanks to the BSA for their financial contribution too. Also big thanks to Jack at the venue as well as Sue, our intrepid stage manager, and her crew who also put in lots of hours work for us. It really was a team effort.

From a stammering perspective I really didn’t feel much fear. In rehearsals I did feel a bit nervous about a few lines that were a bit of a tongue twister and had some sounds that used to be very challenging for me. But as it came nearer the show I was only nervous about forgetting the lines. Once you’re on stage you can really let go and exaggerate your character, your words and your voice projection. I found the whole experience very rewarding and loved every minute of it. Next challenge I guess is to do it alongside fluent speakers!

Stay tuned for photos and video clips to go online soon.

I personally have a big role in Red Peppers and have to… wait for it… even do a song and a dance!

Please come along and support myself and other recovering stammerers in what is an enormous personal challenge in terms of speech, guts and remembering our lines!

Saturday 9th December @ 7.30pm
London Oratory School (Earl’s Court)
Multimap link

Tickets £10 available by sending a cheque payable to Expand Theatre Group to Tom Skinner, 32Buckland Road, London, E10 6QS.

Further details from vertical187@yahoo.com, Brian Richmond (07799077230), or Tom Skinner (07877804896)

The play is being put on in association with the British Stammering Association.