Mummy Zen

Mother’s Day Movie Ticket Giveaway

Mummy Zen — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:12:54 +0000

This Sunday is Mother’s Day in the UK, a day to let our mums know how special they are to us. As we don’t live in the same country, I won’t get to see my Mum on Sunday but we’ll make do with a video call on Skype. As for myself, I’ve already put my order in for breakfast in bed!

I got to thinking about some of the fond memories I share with my Mum. There are many from the past and many more to come I’m sure. When I was young, we did lots of cooking together which I loved and she always baked impressive cakes for my birthday parties. She also did lots of sewing and made great costumes for my ballet and other dance performances. She’s always encouraged the adventurous side in me and let me travel alone to visit friends in France in my early teens and then to go to Austria to work as Au Pair when I was 17. She was always there on the end of the phone when I was having big dilemmas or stress with my wedding planning four years ago. She burst into tears of joy when I announced I was pregnant two years ago (on video on Skype ). My Mum gives me lots to be thankful for, lots to learn from and lots to live up to!

Last year was my first Mother’s Day. My son was around 3 months old. I remember it was a cold but bright sunny day. We went out for breakfast and my son sat peacefully in his pram so my husband and I got to eat a leisurely breakfast. One year on and whilst he still won’t be aware of Mother’s Day this year, it means the world to me to be his mummy and to have such a treasure in my life. That alone assures I’ll enjoy the day!

Now onto the ticket giveaway……I have four tickets to see Nanny McPhee and The Big Bang this Sunday, 14 March in London. The film stars Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ralph Fiennes, Rhys Ifans and Maggie Smith. It would be a great family outing to celebrate Mother’s Day and a chance to see the film before its official release date of 26 March. There’ll be ‘fun in the foyer’ before the film itself starts at 11am. Perfect timing for going for a nice lunch after seeing the movie!

For a chance to win the four tickets, simply share a muumy-related memory in the comments section. It might be about your mum or about yourself and your children. A winner will be selected on Friday and the tickets will be emailed in time for the event on Sunday. Good luck!

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In Celebration of Women

Mummy Zen — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:33:03 +0000

Today is International Women’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate women’s economic, political and social achievements and started back in the early 1900s. In some countries it’s an official holiday where men honour the women in their lives by giving flowers and small gifts. Events are held all around the world today, bringing attention to women’s progress and their accomplishments. Although IWD initially represented women’s fight for better pay, voting rights and an end to discrimination, today it focuses more on inspiring women worldwide and celebrating their achievements.

A fitting example of a great female success story is last night’s Oscar award for best Director going to Kathryn Bigelow for the film, The Hurt Locker. Kathryn has made history as the first woman to win the award – an impressive achievement!

On a less glamourous scale, the United Nations (who now sponsor the annual 8 March IWD), highlighted in their statement for this year’s IWD, the commendable attitude and efforts of the women in Haiti. They have done so much to aid the recovery efforts by helping look after communities and neighbourhoods, caring for children and sharing what little they do have with those around them. The United Nations Development Fund for Women Executive Director also expresses how the female President of Chile has tried to learn from the examples of those women in Haiti:

Two weeks ago the President of Chile, Michele Bachelet, travelled to Haiti to express solidarity with these women struggling to rebuild their lives and communities — and this week she is inspiring her own country to come back stronger from another devastating earthquake. This is the kind of leadership, from the community to the highest level, that women have demonstrated in all places seeking to come back from conflict and crisis. But unlike in Chile, women are rarely part of the decision-making process on relief or resources, or on how to plan for the next time disaster strikes.

I think International Women’s Day is a great reminder of the many inspirational, admirable women in the world and their achivements both big and small that impact others on all kinds of different levels. We can all probably think of a female who’s demonstrated something significant and worthy of celebration today. Let’s take a moment to applaud and learn from these women.

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Being Creative with Toys

Mummy Zen — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:51:18 +0000

Toys can be great fun for children. They can provide amusement and be educational. However, they can be expensive and they can take up a lot of space in your home. Inevitably, you’ll have some toys that your child never plays with and it can be hard sometimes to know what they will really get hours of enjoyment from, when you are staring at shelves of toys in a shop. This post talks about a few ways you can be a bit creative with toys, enabling your child to play with a variety of things, develop their exploratory side and yet not requiring you to buy and store lots of new toys.

My son has recently discovered the contents of one our kitchen cupboards. Conveniently it has little plastic containers in that I used to use for storing his pureed baby food when he was younger and they don’t get used now. They’re small, they’re unbreakable and they are within easy reach when you open the cupboard, so are perfect for him to take out, play with and then put back. I remember a Mummy Zen reader once mentioned in a comment that she had set aside a cupboard in the kitchen for her child in which there were some things to play with and I thought that was a nice idea. I guess that has sort of happened but without me planning it!

You often hear how children enjoy playing with ordinary things around the house, sometimes more than their own toys. I’ve mentioned before that my son has enjoyed playing with cardboard boxes and he also likes flipping the pages of magazines and playing with random articles of clothing he finds. The site Simple Mom, back in 2008 listed these 11 cheap (and free) toys for young children:

1. Egg cartons.
2. Chalk.
3. Water and cups.
4. Paper and safety scissors
5. Dried beans or rice.
5. Toilet paper or paper towel tubes.
6. Old clean socks.
7. Washed out empty food containers.
8. Balloons.
9. Books.
10. Paper and crayons.
11. A cardboard box.

Myself and a group of mums and toddlers meet in a space we hire out for an hour and a half one afternoon each week. We all bring a few toys with us and then all the children play with each others toys and have space to crawl and run around. It’s been great in the cold weather when we can’t get outside to play. My son always enjoys it and loves getting to play with toys he doesn’t have at home and that are very different to things he does have. The other children are the same. It’s a simple way to share toys amongst friends and sometimes if a particular child develops a strong attachment to a certain toy, the owner of it will usually suggest to the child’s mother that they take it home for the week.

That brings me onto toy libraries. A local playgroup near us operates a toy library once a week. You borrow toys for a week and everyone’s very generous about bringing toys for lending too. It means your child can try out toys you don’t have at home without you having to spend any money.

With the cost and clutter associated with toys, it’s good to be a bit creative with them. It’s easy to do, either by encouraging play with things around the house such as those in the list from Simple Mom above or by lending and borrowing toys amongst friends or using a toy library. These methods can provide all kinds of fun for your children whilst you avoid accumulating more stuff in your home and save money too.

What kinds of things around the house have your children taken to playing with? Do have lots of toys at home or have you got rid of things your child’s grown out of and no longer plays with?

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When Your Child is Unwell: 10 Tips

Mummy Zen — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:03:03 +0000

Last week ended up being a tiring one with my son suffering from a bad cough, cold and a bit of a fever for several days. He was thoroughly miserable and you could tell it hurt his throat every time he coughed and he must have got sick of me wiping his constantly runny nose. We had a couple of disturbed nights as a result too and daytime naps were all over the place. It’s a common enough scenario for anyone with young children, it’s upsetting to see them suffering and can make for long tiring days for the parent or person looking after them.

I’ve written before about colds and ways to try to avoid catching them and how to deal with them if you do catch one. I think my son had more than just a cold this time round though and it made me think about ways to deal with looking after a sick child when they are not fit for anything, have no desire to play, are too ill to take out to usual activities or to mix with friends and just getting through a day can feel like a bit of a struggle. These are some of the things that helped my son and I get through a tough week and some other ideas I had for dealing with a child who’s unwell:

(1) Be flexible. Chances are your usual routine will be unsettled when your child’s ill. Follow their lead and if it seems like they want a snack at a time you wouldn’t usually give one, let them have something. If they seem like they want to sleep at a different time to when they take their nap, lay them down. They’ll soon bounce back to the regular routine once they are feeling back to normal.

(2) Fresh air. This depends to an extent how sick the child is but usually you can get them out for a walk at some point. As long as they are well wrapped up for the weather, it can do you both the world of good to have a walk somewhere. I found my son in much better spirits whenever we returned from a walk out in the fresh air.

(3) Keep hydrated. Both of you should drink plenty of water throughout the day.

(4) Do things differently. Accept that when your child is feeling under the weather, they won’t want to do what they normally do or play what they usually play. Try doing something with them in a different room of the house or show them something new that might bring a smile to their face. My son seemed brighter when we were in the kitchen or in our bedroom, rather than in his usual play area in the living room.

(5) Have some company. Whilst my son was too ill to go to a playgroup or to a friend’s house to play, I did still get him out in the pushchair to the park and was able to meet up with some mummy friends for a bit of a chat. It can be a good boost to your mood to see friends or to have a phone conversation with a friend.

(6) Rest when they rest. I hadn’t done this since my son was a newborn but decided to have a lie-down when he napped during the day and it really helped. I was refreshed when he woke up and able to give him all the energy and comfort he needed.

(7) Be patient. You might feel exhausted by their crying, clingyness or complaining but it must be pretty frustrating for them to feel unwell and not be able to do anything about it and maybe not be able to communicate what’s wrong to a parent if they are very young. If you’re feeling fraught, take a moment for some deep breaths, roll back your shoulders and gently roll your neck from side to side to regain a sense of calm and to relax your body.

(8) Take a break. This isn’t always possible but if you have a friend or family member who can come and relieve you for a while, it’ll do you the world of good to have a little ‘time off’. My husband was able to come home a bit earlier than usual on a couple of evenings and it brightened up the day for both my son and I!

(9) Easy eating. Make life easy for them and give them foods they like and that are easy to eat and comforting to them. Don’t worry if they seem off their food. They’ll soon get their appetite back once they are feeling well again.

(10) Lots of love. Extra hugs and attention are important to provide reassurance when your little one is feeling under the weather. Let them know you’re doing everything you can to make them feel as happy as possible and to speed their recovery.

What works for you when your child is ill? Do you have other tips to share?

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Fairtrade Fortnight

Mummy Zen — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:27:44 +0000

We are in the midst of Fairtrade Fortnight which is running from 22 February through to 7 March. The Fairtrade Foundation launched a campaign called The Big Swap, suggesting we all swap our usual products for Fairtrade versions during these two weeks- everything from our morning cup of tea to the lip balm we use. It’s a simple way we can all make a small difference and show a stance towards helping developing world producers.

I have to admit I’m not an active shopper of Fairtrade goods, but for no particular reason. I recognise the value of the Fairtrade label which indicates a guarantee that the producer has been paid a minimum price for their produce and that a premium has been paid to support social, environmental and development projects. However, not all crops are covered under Fairtrade and there is no recompense for the quality of the items. Unfortunately it is not available to some farmers in more developed countries who experience the same kind of exploitation as someone in a more developing country.

Having said all that, when you read on the Fairtrade Foundation site that a third of the world survive on less than $2 a day, it’s clear that there are a lot of people out there who are struggling with unfair trade rules that leave them powerless to improve their own situation. Any help is beneficial and it’s great if we can all do something towards the efforts of the Fairtrade Foundation.

The idea of The Big Swap makes it easy for us all to make a small contribution during Fairtrade Fortnight. Just by choosing the Fairtrade products when you’re next in the supermarket can help towards a consolidated step to offering a better deal for producers in the developing world. With pretty much everything having a Fairtrade option these days, it’s a good way to try something different too. Whilst it might mean you’re not buying your usual brand of a particular food, slowly but surely manufacturers are making changes, with companies like Cadbury who switched to Fairtrade certified cocoa at the end of last year and Ben and Jerry’s who recently announced that their entire global ice cream range will go Fairtrade from 2013.

I might be a little late in participating but I think I’ll make the effort this next week to buy Fairtrade where possible. What are your thoughts? Do you buy Fairtrade produce? Will you be making some swaps for the remainder of Fairtrade Fortnight?

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Trying Toddlers

Mummy Zen — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:43:22 +0000

I was at a playgroup yesterday and was talking to another mum whose daughter is a few months older than my son. She was telling me how difficult it is anytime she leaves somewhere to go home. Her daughter will lie on the floor, kicking and screaming and not wanting to go. Her mother had advised bribing her with chocolate biscuits so that was what she planned to try when it came to the end of the playgroup. I watched as she carried out her screaming daughter, telling her she could have a chocolate biscuit. She put her in the pushchair and gave her the promised biscuit and her daughter calmed right down and nibbled happily on it. The mum was relieved and impressed that her mother’s tip had worked. She had started to dread going anywhere because of her daughter’s tantrum when it was time to leave but now it seemed, she had a successful way to deal with it.

I had to wonder to myself whether rewarding her daughter’s screaming with a chocolate biscuit was really a successful solution. I am yet to experience a tantrum with my son but I can appreciate how stressful they can be for a parent and that every mum wants something that will fix the situation fast.

We all know tantrums are a toddler’s expression of frustration, growing independence and sometimes a demand for attention. They are a challenging side of parenting and an exercise in our own self-control and patience. From what I’ve read, the overriding pieces of advice for dealing with tantrums seem to be as follows:

Ignore the child’s outburst as much as possible.
Avoid yelling or making a scene and try to stay calm.
Distract the child with something else.

Once over, the tantrum should be forgotten and a hug given to the child. Praising good behaviour and allowing your child to have choices when possible are thought to help towards minimising the number of tantrums.

Sometimes it will be simply tiredness or hunger that cause a tantrum. Hunger should be easily dealt with if you carry snacks and a drink with you when you are out and ensure your child’s been fed before a supermarket trip or other visit where you want to avoid a melt-down. Tiredness can be harder to control if you’re doing something out of their usual routine, like travelling or attending a wedding for example. We all have those days when our children refuse to take a nap and sometimes there’s just nothing you can do!

There are no easy answers for dealing with trying toddlers. The best thing we can do as parents is to try to be calm around them, identify what might have caused a tantrum so we can address it if it’s related to food, tiredness or them needing help with a task and remember that it is after all a stage in their development and won’t last!

How do you deal with toddler tantrums? Do you have any advice to share to other mums?

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A Parenting Manifesto

Mummy Zen — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:57:53 +0000

Some of you might have read Tom Hodgkinson’s’ Idle Parent’ column in the Daily Telegraph. His parenting advice is of the very laid-back approach and his writing is certainly good for a laugh. As Editor to The Idler magazine, Hodginson has gone on to write a few books, one of which is called The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids. I haven’t read the book but I did recently come across the website for the book.

Included on the site is the following parenting manifesto:

THE MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We don’t waste money on family days out and holidays
An idle parent is a thrifty parent
An idle parent is a creative parent
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We play in the fields and forests
We push them into the garden and shut the door so we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment
We reject health and safety guidelines
We embrace responsibility
There are many paths
More play, less work

I definitely don’t agree with everything here but I do think there are some good statements and I’ve put those I agree with in grey text. I like the idea of writing a manifesto for the kind of parent you want to be and think it’s a nice way to consider what’s important for you and your partner in bringing up your children. There are probably lots of things I could add to my own manifesto but here are a few thoughts:

We nurture family traditions
We seek adventure both close to home and afar
We share fun with friends and learn to play together
A happy child has happy parents
Most things can be replaced so we avoid upset over accidental breakages
We respect those around us and our natural environment

Whilst I might not be an ‘idle parent’ myself, I do share some of Tom Hodgkinson’s values as expressed in his manifesto and find it a nice reminder of some of the significant and enjoyable aspects of being a parent. An emphasis on play, merriment and happy mess might not be practical all day, every day, but those after all are the things that children enjoy and that help towards a happy memorable childhood. It’s useful to bring attention to those activities and attitudes that represent good parenting for you.

How much of the Idle Parent Manifest would you agree with? What would be on your own parenting manifesto?

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Cultivating Little Book Worms

Mummy Zen — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 15:58:25 +0000

When our son was first born, one piece of advice from a member of the extended family was to start reading to him immediately. She thought it helped them get used to being read to before they are at an age where they can fidget and move away. Both my husband and I are quite keen readers anyway, but we took her advice and started reading to our son early on. When he was too tiny to stay awake long or notice the book properly, we would just read our own books aloud to him for a little while. As he got a bit older, we started reading children’s books to him and as with most parents, a story before bed is part of his bedtime routine. Now at age one and a bit, he loves books and being read to. He’ll sit quietly on your lap and help turn the pages. He loves books with flaps to lift too.

I just added a few children’s books to my Library page on here. Interestingly, none of them are books I had in my own childhood but they are all enjoyed by our son and we like reading them too! I do however have memories of my parents reading books to me regularly and I grew up loving to read. Two books stick out in my memory in particular. One is a large flower fairy book that was probably between two and three feet high and used to be my mother’s. It was thirty or so years old when I was a child and a bit fragile, beautifully illustrated and unique for being so big a book. The other, is Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot, a collection of humorous cat poems that my dad used to enjoy reading to me.

There’s something wonderful about getting wrapped up in a story and as a parent, watching little eyes engage with the pictures and later, with the story itself. With TV, computers and living in an age of digital media, I think it’s nice to encourage an appreciation of books with our little ones and there are some great books out there for all ages to make the task easier.

What are your favourite children’s books? Do they tend to be ones you remember from your own childhood or do you go on recommendations from other parent friends? Do you read to your children before bed? If you have older children, how have their reading habits developed?

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Getting out of a Rut & Inspiring your Creativity

Mummy Zen — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:47:30 +0000

Artist and musician Scott Hansen had the great idea to ask 25 artists and creators, “What do you do to inspire your creativity when you find yourself in a rut?” Their answers provided some fascinating insight and tips. I’ve chosen some of them to share with you below.

Whilst the people at whom the question was posed are all creative professionals, creativity is something we all deal with. As busy mums, we try to provide creative play for our children, be creative in the kitchen, creative at work and in our minds, some of us do creative art and craft activities and others are creative outdoors; growing plants, vegetables and trying to be more self-sufficient and respectful of the environment.

New ideas and bursts of inspiration are invigorating, fun to put into practice and sometimes challenging. However, most of us at some point find ourselves slipping into easy habits and as time goes on, feel stuck in a rut. That’s where these suggestions come in handy! Here are some of my favourites from Scott Hansen’s list and my interpretations of how they can work for mums:

• I tend to say yes to more than I can do, and the fear of failure keeps the work flowing. Keeping busy and saying yes to activities, invites, visits etc can lead to some good ideas of things to try at home or with friends and family, as well as often being fun. Keeping busy also means less time to drift and feel unmotivated.

• Lots of reading and lots of sketching. Sketching might not be for everyone but even if you’re not artistic, it’s a good way to distract your mind and focus on something very different to the everyday. Reading keeps your mind stimulated, and depending on your choice of reading matter, can be instructive and inspirational. It’s also a nice relaxing alternative to slumping in front of the TV in an evening!

• I try to take some time off if I feel a lack of inspiration. Time off can be as simple as an afternoon or a couple of hours to yourself while someone else looks after the children. Being removed from the day-to-day humdrum is an effective way to revive yourself in all aspects.

• I find it from a combination of sources; experimental music, mid century design/cinema, nature/wildlife, etc. To achieve full creative potential I must sit in the woods, watch Mad Men, and listen to Boards of Canada simultaneously. Getting out in nature, even if it’s just your local park is a great way to clear the head. Enjoyable distractions are a necessary part of escaping the daily grind to help you relax and open your mind again.

• Clean my surroundings. I cannot think clearly when there’s a mess around me. I can’t cook in a messy kitchen and I’m sure crafty types can’t create on a desk piled with papers and rubbish. A clean slate is always a good start.

• Diversify your interests. It’s easy to get locked in our comfort zone of doing the things we are used to doing and regularly enjoy. For whatever reason, many of us tend to stop trying new things but it’s a great way to broaden our interests, meet new people and feel excited about something new.

• What always works the best for me is talking with my friends. They always have some new way of looking at problems that I never would have thought of, or a cool bit of inspiring artwork to show me, or just some words of encouragement that will get me moving again! I too find it helpful to talk with friends. Sharing ideas and getting their input can often be invaluable.

Do you use any of these suggestions when you feel in a bit of a rut? Are there other things you do in an effort to inspire your creativity? If you’re a fellow-mummy blogger, how do you deal with writer’s block?

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Finding More Hours in the Day

Mummy Zen — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:56:31 +0000

I feel like I’m having a constructive week. Despite going to bed earlier, I’ve accomplished a lot more in a day than I do usually. I’ve been tackling some areas of clutter in our home and getting rid of stuff, I’ve done some baking, caught up with some non-mummy friends and in the evenings I’ve been reading and doing a few crafty bits and pieces. I’ve really enjoyed filling my time with more variety and feeling like I’m achieving more in a day.

Getting more done has involved quite a lot less time spent on the computer each day. I don’t spend loads of time on the computer in an average day but I do tend to use most of son’s nap time for reading news, other blogs, sending emails and writing my blog of course! In the evening when my son is in bed, I sometimes do a bit more of that, whilst my husband is often doing the same. This week, I’ve been confining my computer time to the day only and also reducing the time spent on it. So, I haven’t read any news and only read a couple of the many blogs I enjoy reading but it’s been time well spent in other ways.

The non-mummy friend I saw yesterday isn’t working at the moment. She was telling me how she struggles to get things done and misses the satisfaction of working through a list of tasks at work and feeling in control of what’s to be done. She told me she imagined having a baby helps to give your day a sense of structure. She’s right to an extent. I have to get up and start my day around 7.30am every morning and the day is naturally split it up into sections around my son’s naps, meals and bedtime. However, it’s easy to ‘waste’ a day faffing around and not actually doing anything, even with a baby.

The way to get around that, as I think this week has shown me, is to set yourself several very small tasks. For example yesterday, as part of my de-cluttering project, I tackled one big basket in our living room that had a bunch of baby-related stuff in it, from the old NHS pregnancy book my doctor had given me about two years ago, to instructon manuals for baby-related equipment and scraps of sentimental paperwork I wanted to put in my baby book. It didn’t take too long to sort out but it was great to deal with it and get rid of a lot of rubbish I’d been hoarding in there. In addition to that task, I needed to mop the floors and do some cooking in advance of visiting family. All small tasks, but all useful to accomplish and easy to fit in around looking after my son during the day.

It can be a challenge to do things when you’re at home looking after a baby or toddler and I’m not suggesting you should have a rigorous schedule or plan of events for each day! Using the snippets of time you do have free when they are napping or happily engaged in an activity where you can be doing something close by is a good way to fit in a little more though. Dealing with a nagging task might not seem like something to spend time on but as with my basket de-cluttering yesterday, it’s often easier and quicker to get done than you imagined. It’s nice to cross those things off the list! It’s also nice to sit and do something for yourself that you don’t do as often as you like, such as reading, some simple crafts or cooking, depending on what you enjoy.

How do you spend your days if you’re a stay-at-home mum? Do you find it difficult to get stuff done during the day?

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