Today we discussed vaccinations and being informed about medical decisions for your kids. As parents, it's one of the toughest parts of raising kids -- but it seems that all the material out there, specifically when it comes to vaccinations, is a bit biased. How can we, as parents, be informed about such decisions.

Allison spoke about her fervent support of vaccinations, although did suggest parents make sure kids are not severely reactive. I discussed the possible downside of getting so many shots all at once, as well as the possibility that kids do not necessarily need those vaccinations at such an early age.

Dr. Trachtenberg, author of Good Kids, Bad Habits, offered various insights into everything from picky eaters, to safety and babyproofing, to the whole milk/water/juice dilemma. She discussed feeling comfortable with your pediatrician and willing to ask questions and get answers.

And read more here: http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/04/stick_him_with_.html

You can find more about her book here. And look for her return to my podcast this fall with school-related questions.

Rebecca joined us to discuss her new site as well as discuss the myriad of "anonymous" blogging outlets on the internet and their popularity. Apparently many folks find these types of confession sites to be therapeutic and a means to let go of guilt and judgment.

Lara and Meg discussed how much they will or will not talk about on their blog -- mainly due to who reads their blog as well as Google and other search engines that might lead folks to them.

Read more here: 

http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/04/because_its_my_.html

If you've got a show topic, comment, or question, drop me an email: coolmompicks@gmail.com

Jodi offered her thoughts about her own guilt regarding not being able to breastfeed and added that "You parent the children you have." Instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, we should use our energy to figure out what works for our own kids.

Devra and Aviva shared their thoughts about deciding when to let go and feeling free and able to say "SO WHAT!" when it comes to silly little things that don't deserve so much of our time. It's okay to feel guilty (and there is good guilt), but we need to be able to differentiate and make sure we think positively and not let it interfere with our parenting process.

You can find their book here! and read more here: 

http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/05/guilty_as_charg.html

Next show -- Parenting Beyond Belief Editor and Contributing authors -- can we raise ethically and morally sound children without religion? Email me with comments, questions, or show topics (coolmompicks@gmail.com)

Parenting beyond belief is not about denying children religion, but really, opening things up for discussion and allowing them to explore all religions so when they are able, they can choose what's right for them. The misnomer is that secular parenting is non-religious; on the contrary it is more about multiple religions, being informed, and finding spirituality in a way that allows us to ask and answer questions.

www.mothergoosemouse.com

www.parentingbeyondbelief.com

And read more here: http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/05/being_good_for_.html 

Unsure of what to get Dad for Father's Day, or just need a break from all the mommy crap that has infiltrated your brain. Check out this show and read more here:
http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/05/whats_worse_tha.html

Marriage is tough -- parenting makes it tougher. We discussed the many relationship issues parents face and how this new online program can make a difference in your marriage.

A duck falls into a stroller basket. Do you return it or keep it? And how do we determine our own ethics and how they affect our decisions as parents.

 
Read more here: http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/06/ducks-are-more-.html

You can find more information about his book here and read more on the topic here:

http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/07/all-is-well-unt.html

The next Mominatrix show: 8/31/07. We'll be discussin sex toys and giving away a few as well!

And show your support of the show and this hot new parenting column for parents. Get your own Mominatrix shirt.

Our discussion related to the business of babies and how women can take back their own bodies as well as their own care without feeling intimidated or scared.

Christina shared her experiences about attempting a VBAC after her first daughter was born via C-section. She encouraged moms to be informed and find a supportive OB/GYN or Midwife.

Dr. Gaudet, author of Body, Soul, and Baby, discussed the benefits of the multi-disciplinary approach to birth, as well as how women need to address all aspects of their birth preparation -- not just the physical aspects of the birthing process.

You can find her book here.  

Rachael Brownell from Crankmama and Babble joined us first to discuss the hipster parent phenomenon. Sure, anything in moderation seems fine, but it appears that this movement is a bit one dimensional. We agreed that we're all not drink slugging f-bomb yelling moms with cool hair and dark rimmed glasses. And while we do write about the escapades of motherhood in a frank and honest manner, maybe it's because people want to hear it.

My special guest, author Erika Schickel, joined us to talk about her new book "You're Not the Boss of Me" -- a momoir of sorts (or really just a great memoir) that appeals to any mom, not just those wearing legwarmers and ballet flats. She talked about how she came to write this book, as well as her adventures as a mother, woman, and actress in LA.

You can read my review here. Stay tuned next week when I discuss the business of babies with author and Director of Duke University's Department of Integrative Medicine Dr. Tracy Gaudet.

Got a show idea, want to be on the air, or want to sponsor the show? Drop me an email: coolmompicks@gmail.com

This code of silence we take after having kids has been hurting families and relationships for years. But thanks to Babyproofing Your Marriage, a no-holds-barred look at the havoc having children can wreak on your marriage, there's a bit of support and hope for us all.

Does that sound dramatic to you? Possibly. But when you're spending most of your days bickering, arguing, and NOT having sex, you'll read or try anything.

The ladies emphasize the following:

- This book is for moms and dads alike. No man bashing.

- Moms need to let go and let dad get involved. If he doesn't get it still, go away for a day/weekend.

- Make a list of your duties -- and split them up!

- Some scorekeeping is inevitable, but find better ways to solve it than count every single diaper change and explode on contact.

- Take some time for each other without the kids.

- And finally, laugh. Laugh a lot.

Oh, and buy the book!

Join me next week where I'll discuss Cocktail Mommies with author Stefanie Taylor.

Want to sponsor the show? Have a topic? Drop me an email: coolmompicks@gmail.com

As I consider my newly post-partum body, part of me can't help but wonder if there's something to someone else thinking I'm hot. It's nice to feel wanted - most certainly by a spouse or partner - but even better (you know, the icing on the cake) if someone else thinks so too.

There's been a bit of controversy surrounding the term MILF as coined by the writers of American Pie. Ironically, it's gone from the Jennifer Connelly (hot late 40s mom) to this notion of a skinny, big boobed woman who doesn't look like she's had kids.

And so, the crux of the discussion, thanks to guests Crankmama and Stuntmother. Is MILF limiting or flattering?

According the Stuntmother and other critics of the term, MILF limits us and defines us as hot specifically based on our motherhood or really, our inherent denial of it. Perhaps it's the low level of respect and support for mothers in society that makes us desire to not look like we've had kids. Or maybe it's the focus on the skinny, single-digit sized women that are the epitome of "hot" in most peoples' minds.

What's so wrong with feeling and looking hot? Not anything, but more so that it what others say about us -- and what others determine about us instead of what we say about ourselves. Are we not just as fuckable with our large asses and cellulite?

It's sites like Shape of a Mother and conversations like these on blogs that I believe are supporting the positive images of women, particularly mothers. It's a reminder that there are stretch marks and stomach flab to be had on most of us (at one level or another) and rather than aspiring to be a MILF -- why not own the title and send it back out -- MYLF (Mom YOU'd like to Fuck).

While Crankmama felt it was a term that we could take back, Stuntmother did not agree. If we keep perpetuating this idea that moms need to snap back quickly and not be able to bask in their achievement, big thighs and all, we won't be able to own the title of MILF without the negative connotations.

Perhaps we need more focus on supporting mothers and allowing us to find our sexiness within -- however, it's a little hard to do when most of society just wants us to be back to "who we were." Where's the compromise?

If you'd like to add to this discussion, leave a comment on my blog or email me. Next week we'll be discussing Babyproofing Your Marriage with the authors of the book of the same title.

How do you decide what your child watches? How much is too much? And is it really that bad?

And let's be honest. Are we really willing to say we put the shows on because they are educational more so than creative play? Because I put them on so I don't stink and so I can blog.

Brian joined me to discuss DVD players in cars. With them infiltrating most new cars these days, it's a wonder you find a car without them. And so, does it make you a lazy parent when you flip it on for a quick trip to the grocery store.

Jodi (via email) shared her thoughts on parenting the child you have. She's used a DVD on long car rides (anything above 2 hours) even though her son only watches one hour of tv a day.

Brian and I discussed the idea of crazy kids having other issues that a DVD only partially (and momentarily) solves. And really, why not just avoid the long trip -- it sucks for everyone? (here here).

Stay tuned next week when we discuss the term MILF with Crankmama and Stuntmother. And please share your feedback about the show via email (coolmompicks@gmail.com) or on Jodi, Brian, or my blog. Thanks for listening!

The separation of church and state, particularly as it relates to school is a hot issue. I was emailed a memo from a public school principal basically removing ANY holiday reference except on clothing. Certainly this is encompassing of all religions and alleviates any awkward situations, however, is it the best way to go? Can't we celebrate ALL holidays? And on a bigger scale, aren't there more important issues to address? (like war, hunger, peace, etc.).

Amy and Catherine joined me to discuss their own personal Catholic upbringings. Amy's decision to raise her child without a specific religion was based on her own questioning of the Catholic faith, and a non-religious husband who turned out just fine (no devil incarnate there). Catherine, also raised Catholic, is still on the fence about religion -- on one hand acknowledging the power of the ritual and faith and on the other, disagreeing with some of the rules, regulations and church practices. Both discussed positive experiences with the church (particularly more liberal beliefs) and how the decision to return to the church is always an option. Educating their kids in various religions is important, however, it's one of those things where if you know something well, it would seem obvious to head back to that direction.

Dana and Julie followed to discuss their own backgrounds -- Dana being a raised and currently practicing Catholic and Julie, who idenitifies as more atheist. Both discussed the notion of faith being important -- Dana finding hers in the church and hoping her children do the same in terms of feeling comfort and support not "hell and damnation" as their reasoning for attending and continuing in the faith. Julie felt that her children were not missing out, and that they did celebrate the holiday season; her questioning of religion and non-belief came from a scientific standpoint.

Jennifer (via email) discussed her decision to raise her children Jewish - with the support of her agnostic husband. Certainly folks who subscribe to a minority religion have a different experience during the holidays when everything is SO strongly Christian. Many can feel almost invisible when the assumption is made that EVERYONE is Christian. While raised more of a "cultural" Jew, Jennifer now attends synagogue with her family and her children attend religious school.

There's no scheduled show for next week - however, I'll be back in 2007 with all new shows (and possibly a new baby). If you have something you'd like to discuss, please drop me an email (coolmompicks@gmail.com). I've got some great topics lined up - I just need some folks to come on the air and discuss them. Check them out at: www.theblogexchange.net

And many thanks for listening. Happy Holidays -- whichever one you choose to celebrate.

As kids get older, it's more about allowing them to express their sadness and frustration, and trying to figure out the underlying cause. Perhaps getting them involved in an arts activity or sports, but also feeling free and open to discuss it. And model your own anger expression, sadness, and hurt well so that they see it's okay.

Thanks to Julie for calling in to discuss the item of bully proofing our kids. Make sure they know what to say and what bullies are looking for as well as how to deal with the situation. Bullies are not your maladjusted kids -- many of them are typical, smart kids that have the power to sway the masses.

Also, programs are focusing in on the majority of folks who aren't bullied -- the bystanders. There's power in numbers. Get your kids to say something. Find a friend and say "That's mean or stop that." Just those simple words have the power to make a change and transform a situation for a bully victim.

Don't expect the bully to get help. If your kid is a victim, work with a guidance counselor or therapist and don't be afraid to help them change themselves. And you might think about laying off when it comes to talking to the teacher. That can truly make things worse for the bullied kid.

And finally, BUY TICKETS! Email me (coolmompicks@gmail.com) if you'd like to be a part of the shows -- MILF - love or hate it? DVDs in cars? Yes or no? How about tv for kids? A good thing or evil? Drop me a line if you'd like to be on air and discuss all things parenting.

Next week -- our 2-hour holiday special on RELIGION. You don't want to miss this!

Thanks to Alex for joining me in a discussion about preschools. Who knew so much time and effort went into choosing the right preschool. Be aware of your child's needs when trying to figure out where to send them, and know just because the school is popular doesn't mean it's the best place for them to be. Talk to friends, visit unannounced, and be vigilant in terms of how long the teachers have been there and what their educational mission is.

And so is homeschooling for you? Or will you be sticking to private or public schooling. Thanks to Shannon and Joanne for an enlightened discussion on homeschooling and "other" schooling. Certainly times have changed in terms of what can be accomplished in a school setting and folks are seeking alternatives (read: homeschooling). Sure, it takes a special person -- and more time is required, however, as Shannon stated, particularly in the early years, it's not as much time as you think and a plethora of resources are now available to assist folks if they feel homeschooling is right for them.

Joanne chose a progressive private education, but like any informed and involved parent, does not rely solely on the school to provide all life lessons, socialization, etc. for her daughter. Certainly extra-curricular activities, as well as other community projects are required. Her decision had much to do with knowing herself as well as her daughter. Much of the same can be said for Shannon's situation, although her decision to homeschool her children was made much earlier on.

School settings can be important in a child's social life, but surely a classroom setting for six-hours is not the end all. Consider the various options that children now have to see other students and kids their age. It can and should go beyond what they get in a small or large classroom setting.

If you have more thoughts on this, visit my blog, and if you've got some hot topics you want to discuss on air, don't hesitate to drop me an email (coolmompicks@gmail.com). I'd love to hear from you.

Until next week, when we dive into the angry kids/bully arena, enjoy your week!

However, it's enough for folks to decide to stick with one (for now or maybe always). There's something to be said about folks knowing their own limits and saying "I'm fine with one, thank you." They get your full attention, you can spend your time focused on them, and you won't feel spread thin when it comes to dealing with two or more.

But, that's selfish, right? Julie called in to discuss this whole notion of having another one so the kids learn social skills. Sure, it's attractive to have another so you don't have to leave the house and deal with germs, however, it's a bit much to assume they'll learn any and all social skills by playin with a sibling.

Tania discussed her decision to stick with one for now, simply due to lack of desire and enjoyment of her current child. She discussed being able to see the possibility for more down the road, but also discussed feeling happy with one and not believing her daughter was lacking or would lack anything in the future for being an only child.

Lena added that although as an only child she never felt lonely, neglectful, OR had the inability to share, she did feel that she was missing something as an adult. And with her now 5-year-old begging her for another child, she strongly desires another one so her daughter can have a mate - for the present and the future.

Certainly life changes - deaths, births, and everything in between - can motivate a person to decide to have another one, however, the issue stands that folks become so judgmental of someone who decides to have one. I imagine there's a bit more sympathy for people who can't have another one - but the stereotype of "the only child" which is debunked frequently in literature (and by Lena herself -- a fine blogger and lovely person to boot) is still perpetuated.

Thanks to Jana for calling in and sharing her thoughts as a mom of a 1 and 3 year old. She gives us (or me) hope that 2 can be easier and that it is nice to see her two children bond and play together.

Just remember. Folks who choose to have one are for the most part making an informed decision. And unless hubby sneaks off and gets clipped, they can always decide to have more. Certainly motivating factors (like Lena's situation) can influence a decision of someone who is perfectly happy with one.

I say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Of course, I have no idea why I'm pregnant with #2 if that's my motto. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Really, for me, it's about giving my daughter a sibling and extending our family. Otherwise, I'm not sure I could physically or emotionally do it again.

Plus, I have blogging this time and I'm depending on YOU folks to help me out.

Stay tuned next week for a debate on schooling - from tot yoga to homeschooling - we're covering it all. If you have a topic or comment, email me at coolmompicks@gmail.com. As always, thanks for listening!

There's no denying biology in some form or another, but there seems to be a disconnect when it comes to the toys we're providing for our boys. Amy Jo from Binkytown called in to discuss her own 2-year-old son's penchant for all things transportation. Cori from Mrs. Fortune also added that her husband seems to be a bit more "strong-minded" when it comes to their son, even more so than he was with his own older daughter. Both discussed this notion that when we buy girls trucks and race cars, it's cool, however, getting a boy a doll is often frowned upon.

Perhaps we need more boys with dolls -- I wonder if we'd have less clueless, emotionally unavailable men?

Or maybe they are all bitter about their circumcisions. We may never know that in particularly, but I sure learned more than I ever knew about the whole process thanks to special guests Bobita and Jaelithe. Their intelligent and well informed discussion was unmatched; if you have the decision coming up, please take a listen to the show.

Apparently, circumcision does prevent UTIs when done neonatally, however, it's imperative that folks do it early. Certainly the procedure itself might outweigh the decision to worry about a little uti, but when done correctly by an experienced surgeon (with anesthetic), it's not as painful with little to no bleeding.

Holding your crotches yet, men?

The benefits to remaining in tact are certainly linked to the pleasure factor, as well as the number of folks getting botched circumcisions by unexperienced doctors. Both ladies indicated that hygiene is in fant important - particularly as the child reaches the age of 5 and beyond. Many doctors are not privvy to this, and so it's imperative that parents make sure they are informed if they choose for their son to remain in tact.

Circumcision is still the norm in this country, mainly due to dads wanting their sons to look like them. Religious reasons are still prevalent, however, it's often hygiene that is sited for the reasoning for circumcision.

Whatever your decision, both ladies strongly suggested you do your research, talk to your doctor, as well as with your spouse.

It's a body part, for goodness sakes.

Thanks to Kate, Debbie, and Izzy for weighing in on the issue!

Stay tuned next week when we discuss the decision to stick with only one kid, or continue to populate the world with special guests Lena and Mrs. Chicky. And many thanks for listening and calling in.

If you have a topic or something you'd like to discuss, drop me an email: coolmompicks@gmail.com.

If you missed the show, you can catch it in my archives.

But clearly you missed some great discussion regarding the whole clueless husband issue -- nature vs nurture?, encouraging fathers to make the choice to be an active father, teamwork (assigning jobs), going into the trenches together, and my word of advice, blogging first, discussing second. Does wonders for airing out the hormones and bitchy backtalk that never does me any good. Thanks to Suebob, Pickleness, Roxana, and Stuntmother for calling in.

We had to skip the always popular "racy girl's clothing" segment - which we'll hopefully touch on next week - for the infamous and fairly tame debate. Perhaps a new definition of feminism is in order, as well as the ability for folks with similar beliefs, even similar "identifications" to disagree. And wouldn't it be nice for us to be able to just compliment our daughters for all that is good about them, without having to worry about whether they're in for a life of trying to please others or hoping that their existence doesn't have to be about breaking new ground (not that breaking new ground is a bad thing - just sometimes it's nice not to have to dig your own path every single time). Thanks to Bobita, Jennster and Callie for calling in.

If you've got topics that you'd like discussed/debated/or ranted about, feel free to drop me an email: coolmompicks@gmail.com.

Thanks for listening... Until next week!