"My World Vs. Real World"

His Dream Was a Dynasty. Mine Was a Tiny House

2026-08-24T07:54:49.316-07:00

Today I had lunch with my high school friend—the only person from high school whom I have stayed in touch with all these years.

Our lives could not be more different.

Back in high school, he already had a driver and a car. I rode a bicycle that belonged to my brother and sister. His path seemed arranged from the very beginning: study hard, go abroad, obtain another nationality, marry someone from a similar wealthy family, and eventually start a business.

My path was completely different. I had to work hard, study hard, and fight for every opportunity. After high school, I did not simply get to leave the country. I had to earn my way out. I worked for scholarships and eventually won one to pursue my master’s degree at HKU.

Today, he told me that he wants to build a legacy—to create generations of wealth for his family.

I listened to him and thought about my own dream.

Mine is much smaller.

I dream of having a tiny house, with a few dogs and cats, a peaceful life, and enough freedom to wake up without constantly worrying about money or other people’s expectations.

At lunch, I noticed his gold Rolex. I suddenly realized that the watch on his wrist was worth more than my tiny condominium.

He kept telling me that I need to be more ambitious. That I should aim to become rich. That I should get married and have children.

Perhaps he meant well.

And the strange thing is—I have dreamed of those things too.

I have dreamed of love. I have dreamed of a family. I have dreamed of someone choosing me and building a life with me.

I even flew across countries to meet people I had a crush on, hoping that maybe something would happen.

But they weren’t interested in me.

So what can I do?

Maybe I need to stop measuring my life against someone whose starting point, circumstances, personality and dreams are completely different from mine.

His dream is to build a dynasty.

Mine is to build a home.

Neither dream is necessarily better.

On the way back to my office, he insisted on dropping me off in his brand-new Audi, with his driver behind the wheel. I was almost embarrassed because I wasn’t even sure how to open the car door.

I laughed to myself.

Life is funny.

For a few minutes, I was sitting inside a world that looked completely different from mine—Rolex, Audi, driver, wealth, legacy.

And then I stepped out and went back to my office.

Back to my life.

And honestly, I realized something.

I am not lonely.

I have friends. I travel. I work. I laugh. I explore. I have built a career that once seemed impossible. I have crossed borders, chased dreams, taken risks, fallen for people, been rejected, picked myself up, and continued moving.

Maybe my life doesn’t look as impressive from the outside.

But it is mine.

I am still driving toward my own dream.

Maybe my dream isn’t a generation of wealth.

Maybe it is a tiny house filled with animals, a peaceful heart, financial freedom, meaningful work, good friends, and someone who genuinely wants to come home to me.

And if love and family happen along the way, I will welcome them.

If they don’t, I will still have a life worth living.

Life.

We are not all driving toward the same destination.

Some people are building empires.

Some of us are simply trying to build a beautiful little home.

And tonight, I think I’m okay with that.

New Year Resolution 2026

2026-01-05T07:54:00.000-08:00

As I step into 2026, I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

I’ve saved enough to pay off my mortgage, which means I now have the freedom to walk away from corporate life—even if it means starting with empty hands. I’ve also managed to rent out both of my properties. It’s not much, but it’s a foundation.

My next goal is to study in Europe. If I’m lucky enough to receive a scholarship, I’ll go. If not, I may remain in my small town longer than I hoped—but not without trying. I’m also aiming to obtain an additional bar license, either in Europe or New York.

This is another reset, another final attempt before I choose a simpler farming life. Whatever happens, I’m choosing courage over comfort—again.

Crush

2026-01-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

Crush → Crushed, like a loser.

I have shut down my heart and thrown the key into the ocean for at least the past ten years. However, after watching countless dramas and movies, I’ve been convinced that human beings need love to stay alive—or at least to feel alive. So I decided to give it a try, even though I don’t have much faith in men or in human beings in general. I think I’ve collected more trauma than memories.

Many people said, “Your time will come,” and I kept wondering—when? how? who? All these years, it has just been me, myself, and I. I guess I have to do it all again: do it alone, do it sad, do it happy, do it tired, do it exhausted—because this is the life I chose from the start.

P E A C E

2025-12-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

I have to protect my peace at all cost!

Sometime I do want to fall in love again but it will take me another life time to recover from another heartbroken.

But, Keanu Reeves once said, "If you're a lover, you gotta be a fighter, because if you don't fight for your love, what kind of love do you have?"

But my peace is very my everything for the last 10 years - maybe, just maybe I will try not go give my all in.

When Life Throws Spanners: A Mid-Career Reckoning

2025-10-16T09:14:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days. You know the kind – the ones that make you want to throw your hands up and scream into a pillow. I found myself in a heated argument, and if you recall my previous mentions of "Mr. A," well, let's just say it was with his better half. My love life, it seems, continues its streak of spectacular timing and complicated entanglements. It’s almost comical, if I weren’t the one living it.

But that wasn’t the only storm cloud today. Our new boss, who is Indian, and I haven't exactly seen eye-to-eye since his first day. It feels like I’ve been here a thousand times before, navigating another toxic environment, dealing with the same old professional frustrations. For a while, I was genuinely upset, the kind of upset that sits heavy in your chest.

Then, a moment of clarity. A quiet, albeit firm, internal voice reminded me of a crucial privilege: I can quit this job in six months. This realization didn't make the immediate situation pleasant, but it certainly took the edge off the despair. More importantly, it served as a powerful wake-up call. Life is finite, and my time on this earth is not limitless. I've allowed my long-held dream of moving abroad to gather dust, pushing it to the back burner because of other commitments. That ends now.

It's time to make it happen, one way or another.

My first thought is to approach my "big boss" about a secondment opportunity in Vietnam or Malaysia. It's a long shot, but worth exploring to gain international experience within a familiar structure. If that doesn't materialize, my next hope rests on academia. I've been eyeing LLM programs in Europe, particularly those offering scholarships. With my savings currently tied up in property that I can't liquidate, a scholarship would be crucial.

This isn't just about escaping a difficult situation; it's about giving that dream of working abroad another real, concerted try. Ultimately, I aspire to work with organizations like the World Bank or other international bodies. The goal isn't just a change of scenery or a new challenge, but a genuine desire to contribute, to use my skills to truly make the world a better place.

Today was tough, but it stripped away complacency. It reminded me that some things are worth fighting for, even if that fight means charting an entirely new course. The path ahead might be uncertain, but the destination feels clearer than ever.

L I F E

2025-08-03T00:12:00.000-07:00

When I was young, around 7 to 10 years old, I always wondered why my sisters and other adults were always stressed, even though they had freedom and some money to do whatever they wanted. Once, my sister told me that when I got older, I would understand. I guess I took her words lightly.

Now that I’m well into adulthood, I constantly feel stressed - whether it's from my demanding job, societal pressure, peer pressure, or family expectations. Most of the time, I feel like I can’t breathe.

They say happiness is in your hands, you just have to choose it. I want to believe that, but it’s easier said than done. I try to fall in love with my life, but things keep dragging me down again and again.

As human beings, how do we strengthen ourselves to fight all these external pressures?

"If you’re not happy where you are now, you won’t be happy anywhere else." I take this to heart.

I’ve started to enjoy my life a bit more—baby steps.

I’ve begun to observe life around me: myself, my colleagues, my friends, and my family.

I’ve picked up new hobbies and joined activities with strangers, like playing badminton and going hiking in my own country.

I stay active—playing sports like badminton and working out at home (to save money and because it’s more comfortable).

I’ve noticed a positive shift in both my mental and physical health.

April 06 205

2025-07-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve avoided talking about my baby dog, Aldo, crossing the rainbow bridge for the longest time, maybe because I haven’t healed, and maybe I never truly will.

The hardest part of losing a pet is trying to explain the grief to people who don’t understand that pets are part of the family too. Some of my friends will never get it and some even laughed about it. That’s the sad reality of the world I live in.

It breaks my heart that Aldo left me at a time when many of my friends are having their first, second, or even third babies. I’m not jealous,
but I am very sad, and I cry often.

I know putting him down was in his best interest. He was in so much pain—whining all night and day, pacing in cycles—clear signs that his time was near. He was 12 years old, a beautiful husky. I knew the end was close, so I took him to another vet, Happy Japan Clinic. They were very kind and told me he could live a bit longer if he continued taking painkillers for his weak hips. They also said his heart was still okay, which contradicted what the previous vet had diagnosed. I felt confused—and I still hate myself for not trying harder to find more opinions beyond the few vets I visited.

On April 6, 2025, I knew I had to make the heartbreaking decision to let him go, to free him from the pain. But he was scared and kept looking to me for comfort. I was torn. I held him as they injected the anesthesia, and he took his final breath in my arms. I’ve never cried so hard or so loudly in my life.

I feel empty. But life goes on. I still walk and run the same routes, at the same times, just as we used to. I try to run more now—to honor my baby. Because when I run, I feel like he’s still running beside me.

Aldo-Chapter

2025-02-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

I have been with my husky for the last 12 years. Recently he has many health complications and heart failure which means he has only from 6 months to 2 years.

I prayed so hard to the Mother Nature that please to give him at least 1 year so that I can spend the last fine with him. My prayer is being heard and I got greedy that I could could even lived longer.

When he crosses the rainbow 🌈 I hope I will see him in the next life 🐶👧

How I live without my baby?

2025-02-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

I remember I cried my eyes out hugging from a heartbroken and drunk night. He didn’t like being hugged but he would tolerate.

Now that I feel his time is coming - the vet said husky here would only live up to 10 or 11 now he is 12 it means it’s his time.

Ive been crying for the last few days and want to avoid the problem. I need to be brave staying by his side.

Lift Crush

2024-07-27T04:27:00.000-07:00

I was late for work as usually so I had to run to the lift ASAP. while I was running, of course I noticed a handsome tall dude. I was like, "aiii yah I am late, I cannot stop to admire this beauty haha". The lift was about to close its door, there he was, standing next to me with many people in the lift too. My mind wasn't function well, so I couldn't concentrate what to do or say. Suddenly, I found out another colleague was in the lift too and we bushed out loud cuz it was funny. I wish I could turn my head and see him one more time.

just another crush story :)

Last Minute Sapa Adventure: Pushing Limits

2024-06-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

Again, I booked my latest trip like a day before!This time, I joined my friend on a trip to Sapa, Vietnam. I wanted to challenge myself and see if my body could handle the hiking and long days (12 hours!) exploring with my younger friends.

Since I was on a budget, I booked a transit flight from Phnom Penh to Hanoi with a layover in Ho Chi Minh City. This turned out to be a bad idea! Going through immigration twice was a hassle, and luckily, I hadn't checked in my luggage, or it would have been a disaster. To top it off, my flight was delayed twice for a total of two hours, making me arrive in Hanoi at 11 pm.

Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled about waking up at 5 am to catch the 6 am bus to Sapa. Despite the rough start, I made it (with a few complaints!). The first day of hiking in a village was an amazing experience. I absolutely loved it! The rest of the trip was alright, but it did feel a bit touristy.

Overall, it seems my workouts and weekend walks with Aldo (my dog) have paid off. I handled the long walks and hikes surprisingly well. This trip was a great escape, and I rediscovered a sense of adventure within myself. I'm so glad my friends invited me along!

Mr. A

2023-09-26T06:16:00.002-07:00

Back then, I have way too many crushes you could ever imagine. I am not like I am now 😬

The first boy I ever talked to (he is not one of those of my imaginary crushes who only happened in my head) way back when I was in year 1 or 2 in university. Let’s call him Mr. A.

Mr. A studied IT (if my memory doesn’t betray me) on government scholarship abroad with a bunch of handsome other dudes there; but, he was cute at least in my eyes. “I” no no no “we” talked a lot like A LOT, and shared photos here and there. I was so unexperienced and naïve, I even printed his photos in one whole album so that I could stare at his picture in silent. I only met him one time with other friends so we didn’t have any meaningful conversion or holding hands under the moonlight. But after a while, he had a gf whom he married with a kid until now. He met her during his study abroad and that’s all. But it didn’t end there or at least for me.

So?

I was upset because of my one-sided crush. I promised myself to study hard so I could study abroad too. And, I guess I did it but I wasn’t feeling special about it either, and I got over Mr. A eventually without realizing it.

IT?

2023-09-23T08:18:00.002-07:00

So?

I have spent way too much time watching 100 Chinese series – I should be banned using all these social media platforms. And, I have become an anti-social which I have never thought of before.

The latest series I am watching is called, Lighter and Princess. It is about the puppy love between a cold hearted and genius guy and an innocent and hart-working girl. They both study IT, programing… it reminds me of my childhood dream of becoming a hacker haha! I know, I know!!!

What if I start learning it now by myself? Would it be possible? Only time could tell…

Love and lust

2023-08-01T08:16:00.001-07:00

It would be nice to have someone to talk about universe, alien, hiking, adventure to the unknown places or saving the world without laughing or judging each other.

Do people value the deep talk with a person over their appearance, wealth, status in society and so on? I am genuinely curious 😬

a little update - long time no see!

2023-07-24T04:33:00.004-07:00

What has happened in the last 7 months?

I have claimed a bit of the corporate ladder after working hard enough -but at the same time, I feel like I have sold a part of me and my soul to the corporate world. I have tried to choose the projects that I feel fulfillment. I have assisted ministries in drafting some regulations. I know I am not old enough to draft laws but I am kinda cool haha!

I am thankful that my bosses and colleagues let me attend the annual ADB meeting in Incheon, Korea - I am a bit proud of myself since I am the only individual to attend this alone. Before that, I went to Kyoto (10 days) and Osaka (5 days) for almost three weeks while I was working remotely. So I kinda worked a bit and saw the charm of the city in the slow phase. I always love Japan!

When I arrived on the first day in Osaka, I did a bit of googling to see if I could join any hiking. I ended up messaging a few groups. I decided to join a friendly hiking group at 10am on that same morning - the only problem is that i showed on the day date and the wrong group :D haha, so the group of that amazing people were nice enough to let me join them and another problem is that the hiking is not that friendly because it is going to be 20km uphill. I was not prepared mentally, physically and my outfit hahaha ( you can see my photos). Guess what, not only I survived that hiking, but I also met amazing friends.

That's the highlight of my 7 months being away.

Dear Diary - Lost!

2022-12-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

I wish I could tell a happy or a better story, but!

But, I am lost and not found - what have I done and what would I do?

Dear Diary 3 - Hello from Seoul

2022-11-08T18:29:00.001-08:00

Korea has never been on my to-go-list - I did not know why as well!

In 2019, the pandemic started spreading everywhere - we could not travel or sometime we were stuck at home for months. I have used electronic device and internet way too much.

My curiousity has leaded me into Kpop, boyband called BTOB. They are hilarious and funny as well. They got me through the 2 years without traveling and working hard. Since then I have always wanted to visit Korea and to attend their concert.

Here I am in Seoul for almost two weeks for holiday and work. I was told Seoul is nothing comparing to Japan so I didn't expect so much. But, man!!! I fell in love with the city and cold breeze of Autumn here.

I am very thankful to my job, my colleagues and my boss for giving me all the opportunities to work on cool projects and make some money for future and traveling.

I am very grateful for all of the things I have in this life :)

Living abroad costs a lot of money

2022-10-23T06:20:00.002-07:00

I always want to experience working/living abroad but money has been one of the biggest issues for me. Having said that, I have tried so hard to earn, invest and spend carefully. I live below my mean, I don't drive fancy car, living in a tiny apartment that I own so I do not pay any rent except for the electricity and water bill.

Yet, I still have not able to saved enough to study and live abroad yet. I will try to target in two years time from now, I hope I will be able to do it.

Meanwhile, I am trying to live at the moment. So I enjoy working and with the new challenging is very exciting for me. while I am working hard, I am playing hard too.

I am going to Seoul for the first time in two weeks and I am very excited about it. I did not stay at the hotel/airbnb I wanted to stay because I do not want to waste money on that. I will save it and donate to a hospital (Kunthankbotha Hospital).

The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side

2022-08-14T08:14:00.002-07:00

"we are always tempted by and envious of what other people have. Sometimes, the old saying refers to certain situations."

I often forget to enjoy the process of whatever I am trying to achieve which is very very bad! It means that I always try to predict and live in the future. But again, I am just a human and I have a lot to learn.

Let's look at the bright side that I have so many adventures to do and so many things to achieve, I will try to enjoy both joy and tearful process :)

Death Bed

2022-07-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

I got a cold and my weak immune system barely fights against a simple cold. I either sleep with my pain or I took medicine before bed time. I would think what if this is my last night and I will not wake up the next morning.

Eventually, I woke up this morning and I am glad I am alive!

I am simply happy because I still breathe!

Dear Diary 2 - I Got Covid

2022-02-27T08:05:00.005-08:00

On 18 February 2022, my sore throat woke me up in the middle of the night. That was the first symptom I had and following by fever and headache.

I took the rapid test next day in the morning, it was negative but later in that evening it was positive. On the same day, while I was waiting for my food delivery downstair at my condo, one of the three German shaper dogs (my dogs' neighor) approached me. For the last three years, they never approached me this close up. Later, I pet him and the other two joined us. I noticed that the first dog tried to lick me a lot and he looked very concern.

Later after I found out I am positive Covid, I realized he might have known that I got the virus and I am not feeling well. Maybe dogs can sense it.

My immune system is sadly f*up so today is my 8th day and the rapid test results still positive. It worries me a bit but I am doing my best to fight it.

17-Feb-22 10:33 PM

2022-02-21T08:02:00.001-08:00

Dear Diary,

You know, I am happy in my own safe space although it’s considered a very tiny studio. However, thank to the thin wall I could hear almost everything my neighbor is doing. Right, almost whatever he is doing.

He used to be an old grumpy guy who would watch games at midnight and laughed super loud until I woke up. Thank god he left for some time. A new tenant is a young and tall guy. I happened to move my table out to my parents’ house and saw him when he left his place as well.

The new he is another type of neighbor, he partied with his GF and played games super loud. Until I had to move to sleep next to the kitchen (toilet cuz it’s next to the kitchen). One day I was pissed so I put my loudspeaker next to the common wall to let him know how thin the wall is. And, guess what? My method is working.

It’s funny that now I find it very interesting that I know when he cooks or does workout… in a sense, I am not alone or in a sense, I’m an invisible third wheel 😆

2022-02-15T08:16:00.001-08:00

saving the world is hard and such a lonely fight!

2021-08-29T09:46:00.003-07:00

DREAM - ADVENTURE - UNKNOWN - PRESENT - HOPE - DISCOVER

AUGUST 2021

Short Story 1

2020-12-14T07:27:00.009-08:00

While I was driving along the way to treat myself a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant near Russian Market after I finished self-quarantine for 2 weeks (sorry for such a long introduction), I was a guy in his 50s volunteering to help with the traffic was asking a carrot from a passenger in a bike with a cart full of carrots. Kindly enough the passenger gave him more than 2 and even-handed the middle age guy a plastic bag to take more carrots.

I was so moved and realized that sometimes the kindest people are the poor. It not how much you can give, it is your willingness to share.

Be kind :)