My Aspergers Child

Helping Family & Friends To Understand Aspergers

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:37:00 +0000

"Any advice on how to approach our friends and family to tell them about our son's recent diagnosis of Aspergers ...or would it be better to say nothing?"

RE: "...would it be better to say nothing?" It would be good for your friends and family to understand Aspergers, otherwise they will come to their own conclusions about your son's behavior, which will undoubtedly be way off base.

Aspergers and High-Functioning Aspergers (HFA) are often mentioned in the newspapers or on television, but the truth is that, besides remembering Dustin Hoffman's performance in the movie "Rain Man" as an Autistic savant, most people have no clue about what an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is.

If you’re an “old pro” at parenting a child with Aspergers or HFA, then you probably have had a lot of explaining to do to family and friends through the years. For those of you who are just now starting this journey, here are some things you can do to help family members with their understanding of Aspergers:

1. Allow family members to attend Individualized Education Plan (IEP) meetings. In addition, family members should establish a relationship with teachers and be perceived as part of the “treatment team.” Collaboration in this way is critical to school success.

2. Assure others that even though there is no single known cause or cure, Aspergers is treatable. Although Aspergers is a life-long disorder, studies show that early diagnosis and intervention can lead to significantly improved outcomes for kids. With the support and love of family and friends, along with appropriate services, kids with Aspergers can live full, healthy and meaningful lives.

3. Different circumstances call for different parenting. Explain that while you are trying to give your youngster as normal an environment as possible, there may be things you will do (or not do) for your “Aspie” than you would for other children in the family. For example, there may be different rules and consequences, sleeping arrangements, dietary or safety concerns. If necessary, gently explain that this doesn't mean that you're playing favorites or "babying" your Aspergers youngster -- you are simply addressing his unique needs and protecting him from unnecessary stress.

4. Don't be offended. Assure family members that your youngster's lack of social interactions with them (e.g., how he may avoid looking them in the eye or be uncomfortable with the usual hugs or other physical contact) is simply par for the course and not a personal affront. The same goes for a lack of other social graces, and how he often says whatever is on his mind. An Aspergers kid might bluntly say, "Aunt Rosie is fat" or, when given a gift, "I don’t play this game." He doesn't mean to be offensive -- he is just reporting what he observes.

5. Encourage family members to discuss their fears, disappointment, confusion and concerns. Remember the feelings you, the parent, experienced upon hearing the diagnosis, and realize that other family members will most likely experience similar emotions. In addition to the concern they have for their grandson or granddaughter, niece, nephew, sibling, etc., they also will have concerns for you.

6. Encourage others to expect the best from your youngster. Focus on the youngster's special abilities. Treat your Aspie as you would any other youngster or family member to the extent possible. Realize he is more “like” other kids than he is “different.”

7. Give information about Aspergers on a need-to-know basis. A bombardment of information may cause confusion or undue alarm. For instance, you might want to skip the nitty-gritty details of a GFCF diet and postpone telling stories about Aspergers children who run away or who still aren't potty-trained by age 8.

8. Offer friends and family a short list of Internet resources. That way they can explore the world of Aspergers at their own pace. That said, you might want to ask that they not forward you every report they read about Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism, or start a debate about ASD causes and "cures."

9. Provide some tips regarding purchasing gifts, toys or planning outings. Gently remind family members of your youngster's specific sensory issues, phobias or environmental triggers to avoid unpleasant scenes or meltdowns while in their care.

10. Remind everyone the importance of accepting your youngster for who he is, not who they hope him to be. Children with Aspergers may need more space, more understanding and more patience. Family members may need to interact with your youngster on his own terms. For example, don't insist on hugs or other physical contact, don't tease (even good-natured joking), and unless told otherwise, defer to mom and dad for any concerns, problems or discipline issues.

11. Teach family the necessary skills to assist your youngster in your absence, even if this care would only be needed on an emergency basis. Require family members to maintain and stick to schedules, special diets and routines. Also leave a list of service providers who can be contacted if the family caregiver has concerns or questions regarding your youngster's behaviors or actions while you're unavailable.

12. If one or more family members simply don’t “get it,” then suggest a support group. If your extended family has difficulty understanding or accepting the diagnosis, then they should consider getting in touch with a support group in order to hear other families' stories, which can help your family members gain a better understanding of the disorder. They can also attend special events or training opportunities, and if necessary, seek family counseling services.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Explaining Aspergers to Your Aspie

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 28 May 2012 14:11:00 +0000

Moms and dads go through a range of emotions when given their youngster’s diagnosis of Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Often times, brothers and sisters, grandmothers and grandfathers, and other family members go through a variety of emotions and stages of dealing with an Aspergers family member as well.

Professionals agree that the Aspergers youngster should be given information about his diagnosis, as well as support for understanding and coping with the new information. However, many moms and dads may fear a number of things if they tell their affected child – or other kids (and sometimes other family members) about their youngster’s disorder. For example, they may fear that:

the youngster (or others) will use the disorder as an excuse for why she can’t do something
the youngster will think of himself (or others will think of the youngster) as a complete failure with no hope for a positive future
their youngster may lose some of her options in life
their youngster will become angry or depressed because he has a disorder
their youngster will not understand

These issues may or may not occur, but can be dealt with if needed. Some of these issues may surface whether or not the youngster and others are told of the diagnosis. In any event, all involved – including the Aspergers child – should have important information about Aspergers since the diagnosis will affect various aspects of his life.

The possibility of unwanted issues occurring is more likely when the child – and other family members – are not told about the disorder and given the support they need. Consider the stories told by many people with Aspergers who were not told – or not diagnosed – until they were grown-ups. Misunderstanding others and having poor social skills leads to poor interactions with others and results in ridicule and isolation. Being told, “You should know better than that” or “stop being so rude to people” – and not having a clue what they did or how to “fix” or change the situation – all lead to disappointment and bewilderment.

Many people who didn’t know they had Aspergers until they were adults (either because their parents didn’t know, or withheld information) have self-disclosed that, as children, they were seen as a major disappointment and failure to their families and others, but had no clue why they failed or how to do better. Over time, the end result was low self-esteem and isolation. Many of these adults now feel that if they had received the correct information about their diagnosis and what their differences were as children, they would have had a better chance of being more successful in multiple areas today.

Your Aspergers youngster may know that he’s different, but he may come to the wrong conclusions about his perceived differences if you, the parent, leave him in the dark about his diagnosis. He may even wonder if he has a terminal illness and is going to die. He sees doctors and therapists and goes for treatments – but is not told why. Even the youngster who doesn’t ask or verbally express concern about being different may still be thinking some of these thoughts. Even kids with Aspergers can sense the frustration and confusion of others, and as a result, they may come to the wrong conclusions about the cause of the turmoil around them.

It is the parents’ decision whether they share information about the diagnosis with their youngster. It can seem like an overwhelming task, especially when day-to-day issues consume all the time and energy of a family. It may be helpful to discuss your concerns and possible options for disclosure with others that know your youngster well, other moms and dads of Aspergers kids, and even people with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism who have been told about their diagnosis.

There is no exact age or time that is correct to tell a youngster about her diagnosis. Her personality, abilities and social awareness are all factors to consider in determining when she is ready for information about her diagnosis. Starting too early can cause confusion. If older when told, she may be extremely sensitive to any suggestion that she is different. You can look for the presence of certain signs that a youngster is ready for information. Some kids will actually ask, “Is there something wrong with me?” or “Why can’t I be like my friends?” These types of questions are a clear indication that your child needs some information about her diagnosis. Some Aspergers kids may have similar thoughts, but may not be able to express them.

Some kids don’t get a diagnosis until they are in adolescence. Frequently, those who are diagnosed later have had some bad experiences that can influence the decision of when to share information with them about their diagnosis. They may not be emotionally ready to cope with the new information because of the toll the bad experiences have taken on their sense of self-worth. They may be very sensitive to any information that suggests that they are “weird.” Thus, they are not ready for any diagnostic information. On the other hand, an older teen may already know about a previous diagnosis (e.g., Attention Deficit Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, etc.). Because of this history with another label, it may be an appropriate time to share the diagnosis and some concrete information about Aspergers

Many parents have found that setting a positive tone about the Aspergers child’s “uniqueness” is a great place to start. Everyone is unique with their own likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and physical characteristics. One of my favorite lines is, “God made us all different because he knew it would be too boring if we were all the same.” Differences can be discussed in a ‘matter of fact’ manner as soon as the youngster understands simple concrete examples of differences. With this approach, it is more likely that differences – whatever they are – can be a neutral or even fun concept. Matter of fact statements like, “Daddy has glasses and mommy doesn’t” or “Michael likes to ride his bike and you like to play computer games” are examples. The ongoing use of positive concrete examples of differences among familiar people can make it easier to talk to your son or daughter about other contrasts related to his/her diagnosis.

Many Aspergers adults assert the view that kids should be given some information before they hear it from someone else or overhear or see information that they sense is about them. An Aspergers youngster may have the view that people don’t like him or that he is always in trouble, but doesn’t know why. If given a choice, waiting until a negative experience occurs to share the information is probably not a good idea.

It is important that the process of explaining Aspergers to a youngster is individualized and meaningful. It can be hard to decide what and how much information to begin with. If your son or daughter has asked questions, this gives you a place to start. But make sure you understand what he/she is asking. Recall that it is easy to misinterpret the meaning of his/her words. For those kids who have a keen interest in their diagnosis (and whose reading ability is good), there are many books written by Aspergers kids that may be of interest. There are also many more books written by Aspergers adults. These authors are reaching out to others with a diagnosis by sharing experiences, tips on life’s lessons, and helping readers feel that they are not alone in this journey.

To make your discussion meaningful, you can begin by talking about any questions that your child has asked. You may want to write down key points and tell her that others with this diagnosis also have some of the same questions and experiences. Then you could ask if she would like to find more information by reading books, watching videos, or by talking with other people. If asking your youngster if she wants information is likely to get a “no” response, you may choose to not ask, but tell her that you will be looking for information and would like to share it with her. Let her know that she can ask any questions she wants to – at any time.

When people with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have an opportunity to meet others with the diagnosis, they often find it is an eye-opening and rewarding experience. People with Aspergers can sometimes better understand themselves - and the world - by interacting with others on the spectrum. Interacting with other “Aspies” can help your child realize that there are others that experience the world the same way he does, and that he is not the only one who is “different” (which makes the disorder not so different after all).

For many parents, using a therapist to begin the disclosure process may be helpful. Having a therapist involved, at least in the beginning stages of disclosure, leaves the role of support and comfort to the parents and those closest to the Aspergers youngster. For a child with Aspergers, it can be especially hard to seek comfort from someone who gives you news that can be troubling and confusing. Having a therapist whose role is to discuss information about the youngster’s diagnosis and how the disorder is affecting his life can make it easier for parents to be seen by the youngster as supportive. The therapist discussing information with the youngster about his disorder can also help moms and dads to understand the youngster’s reaction and provide suggestions for supporting him. Having a therapist involved also allows the use of a location outside of the family home for beginning this process.

Explaining Aspergers to a child can’t be done in one or two conversations. The child needs time to assimilate the new information about herself at her own pace. It will likely take several weeks before the youngster initiates comments or asks questions about the new information. The process of explaining Aspergers is ongoing. Making the information meaningful from the youngster’s point of view will greatly augment the learning process. Also, a positive “spin” on the Aspergers condition helps maintain self-esteem and a productive atmosphere for learning.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Overcoming the Challenges of Raising Aspergers Children

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 24 May 2012 15:47:00 +0000

Tips for parents who recently learned their child has Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism:

There are many things moms and dads can do to help their kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) overcome their challenges and get the most of life. From learning all you can about Aspergers to getting your youngster into treatment right away, you can make a big difference.

It’s also important to make sure you get the support you need. When you’re looking after a youngster with Aspergers, taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness—it’s a necessity. Being emotionally strong allows you to be the best mother or father you can be to your youngster in need.

If you've recently learned that your youngster has - or might have - Aspergers, you're probably wondering and worrying about what comes next. No parent is ever prepared to hear that a youngster is anything other than happy and healthy, and a diagnosis of Aspergers can be particularly frightening. You may be unsure about how to best help your youngster, or you may be confused by conflicting treatment advice. Also, you may have been told that Aspergers is an incurable, lifelong condition, leaving you concerned that nothing you do will make a difference.

Unprepared moms and dads often have numerous questions about Aspergers and HFA once they have discovered it now affects their family. For example:

How will my youngster learn best (e.g., through seeing, listening, or doing)?
What are my youngster’s strengths?
What are my youngster’s weaknesses?
What behaviors are causing the most problems?
What does my youngster enjoy and how can those activities be used in treatment?
What important skills is my youngster lacking?

While it is true that Aspergers is not something a person simply "grows out of," there are many treatments that can help kids learn new skills and overcome a wide variety of developmental challenges. From free government services to in-home behavioral therapy and school-based programs, assistance is available to meet your youngster's special needs. With the right treatment plan, and a lot of love and support, your youngster can learn, grow, and thrive.

As the parent of a youngster with Aspergers or related developmental delays, the best thing you can do is to start treatment right away. Seek help as soon as you suspect something’s wrong. Don't wait to see if your youngster will catch up later or outgrow the problem. Don't even wait for an official diagnosis. The earlier kids with Aspergers and HFA get help, the greater their chance of treatment success. Early intervention is the most effective way to speed up your youngster's development and reduce the symptoms associated with Aspergers.

Tips for Parents—

1. Accept your youngster – quirks and all. Rather than focusing on how your Aspergers youngster (your “Aspie”) is different from other kids and what he or she is “missing,” practice acceptance. Enjoy your kid’s special quirks, celebrate small successes, and stop comparing your youngster to others. Feeling unconditionally loved and accepted will help your youngster more than anything else.

2. Become an expert on your youngster. Figure out what triggers your Aspie’s “bad” or disruptive behaviors and what elicits a positive response. What does your Aspergers youngster find stressful, calming, uncomfortable, and enjoyable? If you understand what affects your youngster, you’ll be better at troubleshooting problems and preventing situations that cause difficulties.

3. Don’t give up. It’s impossible to predict the course of Aspergers. Don’t jump to conclusions about what life is going to be like for your youngster. Like everyone else, kids with Aspergers have an entire lifetime to grow and develop their abilities.

4. Learn about Aspergers. The more you know about Aspergers, the better equipped you’ll be to make informed decisions for your Aspie. Educate yourself about the treatment options, ask questions, and participate in all treatment decisions.

5. Provide structure and safety. Learning all you can about Aspergers and getting involved in treatment will go a long way toward helping your youngster. Additionally, the following tips will make daily home life easier for both you and your Aspergers youngster:

• Stick to a schedule. Kids with Aspergers tend to do best when they have a highly-structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they both need and crave. Set up a schedule for your youngster, with regular times for meals, therapy, school, and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare your youngster for it in advance.

• Reward good behavior. Positive reinforcement can go a long way with kids with Aspergers, so make an effort to “catch them doing something good.” Praise them when they act appropriately or learn a new skill, being very specific about what behavior they’re being praised for. Also, look for other ways to reward them for good behavior, such as giving them a sticker or letting them play with a favorite toy.

• Create a home safety zone. Carve out a private space in your home where your Aspie can relax, feel secure, and be safe. This will involve organizing and setting boundaries in ways your youngster can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (e.g., colored tape marking areas that are off limits, labeling items in the house with pictures). You may also need to safety proof the house, particularly if your youngster is prone to tantrums or other self-injurious behaviors.

• Be consistent. Kids with Aspergers have a hard time adapting what they’ve learned in one setting (e.g., the therapist’s office, school) to others, including the home. For example, your youngster may use sign language at school to communicate, but never think to do so at home. Creating consistency in your youngster’s environment is the best way to reinforce learning. Find out what your youngster’s therapists are doing and continue their techniques at home. Explore the possibility of having therapy take place in more than one place in order to encourage your Aspie to transfer what he or she has learned from one environment to another. It’s also important to be consistent in the way you interact with your youngster and deal with challenging behaviors.

6. Find nonverbal ways to connect. Connecting with an Aspergers youngster can be challenging, but you don’t need to talk in order to communicate and bond. You communicate by the way you look at your youngster, the way you touch him or her, and by the tone of your voice and your body language. Your youngster is also communicating with you, even if he or she never speaks. You just need to learn the language.

• Figure out the need behind the tantrum. It’s only natural to feel upset when you are misunderstood or ignored, and it’s no different for kids with Aspergers. When kids with Aspergers act out, it’s often because you’re not picking up on their nonverbal cues. Throwing a tantrum is their way communicating their frustration and getting your attention.

• Look for nonverbal cues. If you are observant and aware, you can learn to pick up on the nonverbal cues that kids with Aspergers use to communicate. Pay attention to the kinds of sounds they make, their facial expressions, and the gestures they use when they’re tired, hungry, or want something.

• Make time for fun. A youngster coping with Aspergers is still a kid. For both kids and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Schedule playtime when your youngster is most alert and awake. Figure out ways to have fun together by thinking about the things that make your youngster smile, laugh, and come out of their shell. Your youngster is likely to enjoy these activities most if they don’t seem therapeutic or educational. There are tremendous benefits that result from your enjoyment of your youngster’s company and from your youngster’s enjoyment of spending unpressured time with you. Play is an essential part of learning and shouldn’t feel like work.

• Pay attention to your youngster’s sensory sensitivities. Many kids with Aspergers are hypersensitive to light, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Other kids with Aspergers are “under-sensitive” to sensory stimuli. Figure out what sights, sounds, smells, movements, and tactile sensations trigger your Aspie’s “bad” or disruptive behaviors and what elicits a positive response. If you understand what affects your youngster, you’ll be better at troubleshooting problems, preventing situations that cause difficulties, and creating successful experiences.

7. Create a personalized Aspergers treatment plan. With so many different Aspergers treatments available, and it can be tough to figure out which approach is right for your youngster. Making things more complicated, you may hear different or even conflicting recommendations from moms and dads and docs. When putting together an Aspergers treatment plan for your youngster, keep in mind that there is no single treatment that will work for everyone. Each person on the spectrum is unique, with different strengths and weaknesses.

Your youngster’s treatment should be tailored according to his or her individual needs. You know your youngster best, so it’s up to you to make sure those needs are being met. You can do that by asking yourself the following questions:

A good Aspergers treatment plan will:

Actively engage your youngster's attention in highly structured activities.
Build on your youngster's interests.
Involve the moms and dads.
Offer a predictable schedule.
Provide regular reinforcement of behavior.
Teach tasks as a series of simple steps.

Keep in mind that no matter what Aspergers treatment plan is chosen, your involvement is vital to success. You can help your youngster get the most out of treatment by working hand-in-hand with the Aspergers treatment team and following through with the therapy at home.

When it comes to Aspergers treatment, there are a dizzying variety of therapies and approaches. Some Aspergers therapies focus on reducing problematic behaviors and building communication and social skills, while others deal with sensory integration problems, motor skills, emotional issues, and food sensitivities.

With so many choices, it is extremely important to do your research, talk to Aspergers treatment experts, and ask questions. But keep in mind that you don't have to choose just one type of therapy. The goal of Aspergers treatment should be to treat all of your youngster's symptoms and needs. This often requires a combined treatment approach that takes advantage of many different types of therapy.

Common Aspergers treatments include behavior therapy, speech-language therapy, play-based therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and nutritional therapy.

8. Find help and support. Caring for a youngster with Aspergers and HFA can demand a lot of energy and time. There may be days when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or discouraged. Parenting isn’t ever easy, and raising a youngster with special needs is even more challenging. It’s essential that you take care of yourself in order to be the best parent you can be.

Don’t try to do everything on your own. You don’t have to! There are many places that families of Aspergers children can turn to for advice, a helping hand, advocacy, and support:

• Respite care – Every parent needs a break now and again. And for moms and dads coping with the added stress of Aspergers, this is especially true. In respite care, another caregiver takes over temporarily, giving you a break for a few hours, days, or even weeks. To find respite care options in your area, see the box to the right.

• Individual, marital, or family counseling – If stress, anxiety, or depression is getting to you, you may want to see a therapist of your own. Therapy is a safe place where you can talk honestly about everything you’re feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Marriage or family therapy can also help you work out problems that the challenges of life with an Aspergers youngster are causing in your spousal relationship or with other family members.

• Aspergers support groups – Joining an Aspergers support group is a great way to meet other families dealing with the same challenges you are. Moms and dads can share information, get advice, and lean on each other for emotional support. Just being around others who are in the same boat and sharing their experience can go a long way toward reducing the isolation many moms and dads feel after receiving a youngster’s Aspergers diagnosis.

9. Know your youngster’s rights. As the parent of an Autistic youngster, you have a legal right to:

Be involved in developing your youngster’s IEP from start to finish.
Disagree with the school system’s recommendations.
Free or low-cost legal representation if you can’t come to an agreement with the school.
Invite anyone you want—from a relative to your youngster’s doctor—to be on the IEP team.
Request an IEP meeting at any time if you feel your youngster’s needs are not being met.
Seek an outside evaluation for your youngster.

10. Consider yourself a member of a very elite and interesting group of parents. Many leading figures in the fields of science, politics and the arts have achieved success because they had Aspergers. Some of the characteristics linked to Aspergers are the same as those associated with creative genius. One of the reasons for this could be the fact that the disorder creates people who are able to persist with one idea for huge periods of time - while those without the disorder would have long since moved on to another area of thought.

In keeping with this positive mind-set, please share the following message with your Aspergers child and/or teenager:

There are aspects of Asperger that you can use to your great advantage. For example:

1. 3-Dimensional Thinking: Your ability to utilize 3-dimensional visioning gives you a unique perspective when designing and creating solutions.

2. Attention to Detail: Your ability to remember and process minute details without getting lost or overwhelmed gives you a distinct advantage when solving complex problems.

3. Cutting through the Smoke Screen: Your ability to recognize and speak the truth that is being "conveniently" ignored by others can be vital to the success of a project or endeavor.

4. Focus: Your ability to focus on one objective over long periods of time without becoming distracted allows you to accomplish large and challenging tasks.

5. Independent Thinking: Your willingness to consider unpopular or unusual possibilities generates new options and opportunities and can pave the way for others.

6. Internal Motivation: Rather than being swayed by social convention, other's opinions, social pressure or fears, you can hold firm to your own purpose. Your unique ideas can thrive, despite naysayers.

7. Logical Decision Making: Your ability to make logical and rational decisions and stick to your course of action without being swayed by impulse or emotional reactions allows you to navigate successfully through difficult situations without being pulled off-course.

8. Unique Global Insights: Your ability to find novel connections among multidisciplinary facts and ideas allows you to create new, coherent, and meaningful insight that others would not have reached without you.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Strengths-Focused Parenting: Empowering Aspergers Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 21 May 2012 15:28:00 +0000

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people to focus (consciously or unconsciously) on the weaknesses of a youngster with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism. This is a frequent occurrence for the youngster with poor social and communication skills, odd mannerisms, and learning disabilities. This is especially true of kids with unacceptable behavior related to their disorder.

Kids with Aspergers already feel they are different. It is up to us to teach all kids that “different” is not “bad,” and that each of us has special strengths. We can help that process along by showcasing each Aspergers youngster's special strengths and interests.

How to employ “strengths-focused” parenting:

1. When choosing the right school for your Aspergers youngster, visit several schools (if possible) and look for signs of success. Meet teachers and staff, visit classrooms, and talk with the students to find out if this is the right school for your youngster's challenges. Discover whether the school's attitude about helping “special needs” kids learn matches yours.

2. Be creative in looking for solutions to your youngster's needs. Supplement school learning with dynamic resources, hands-on learning, and field trips to interesting places.

3. Be success-minded. With hard work, proper resources, and solid teamwork between moms and dads and teachers who care, most Aspergers kids can succeed.

4. Become involved in your Aspie's school, even if you only attend parent-teacher conferences to discuss his progress. Even the smallest effort during parent-teacher communication can send a positive message to your youngster's teacher and to your youngster, helping to promote positive self-esteem.

5. Don’t be afraid to seek out help. We are fortunate to live in a society where there are organizations, clinics and private practitioners that provide beneficial services for “special needs” kids. Early intervention can make a great deal of difference in helping a youngster and setting the stage for future success. Professionals say that in early years, there is a “window” of time to help a youngster with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism. This is true, but it is important to know that help, even later on can make a big difference in your youngster’s skill, behavior and emotional development.

6. No matter the diagnosis, when we help kids focus on their positive qualities, they are happier, feel better about themselves, and become more successful overall. All kids thrive with positive feedback, unconditional love and encouragement. Kids with Aspergers especially need positive responses and interactions with moms and dads, because it is often one of the most motivating factors. When kids with different abilities feel encouraged and motivated, they are more likely to take on new challenges and learn new skills.

7. A diagnosis is often useful. It can help your son or daughter get the services that he/she needs, the best educational programs, and the correct insurance coverage. It can also help moms and dads and people around the youngster to better understand his/her way of interacting and processing information in the world. Beyond these factors, though, it is important to look past a youngster’s diagnosis and focus on the person. Highlight the child's personal strengths. When Aspergers kids know that you see them for who they are beyond their disorder, challenges that come with any diagnosis don’t seem as overwhelming – and strengths can flourish.

8. Moms and dads of kids with Aspergers are some of the most dedicated, resilient and awe-inspiring parents out there. Parenting an Aspie often takes 3 times the time and energy as a neurotypical son or daughter, and the parents that manage this extra load the best take time to take care of themselves. If you give, give, give and don’t leave any time for yourself, you begin to run on empty. When your personal energy is tapped-out, you have to work harder and might feel depressed, resentful, or irritable towards your child. Although it may seem selfish at first, it is important to do things that bring you joy outside of parenting. You then have more positive energy and deeper well of internal happiness and love to give back to your Aspie. When you take care of yourself, you are really taking care of your child too, because you are giving him the best in you.

9. Use your youngster’s interests to build other strengths. Help her channel this energy into deepening her learning skills in other areas. For example, if a youngster’s interest is in trains, use this topic to study other subjects. For example:

to develop social skills, pretend you are two trains learning how to share
in spelling and writing, use words and stories that involve train activities
in art, create pictures of trains
for math, count trains

By building on the youngster’s chosen interest, he will be more excited to learn new skills. By accepting your youngster’s interest, he feels more supported by you.

10. Have you child learn as much as he can about famous people who have Aspergers and Autism.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Teaching Aspergers Children the Social Etiquette of "Play"

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 17 May 2012 14:19:00 +0000

Young people with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism often have trouble with social interactions. Understanding what someone is saying and being able to react to it quickly and appropriately is critical to being part of a conversation. But some Aspergers kids can’t do that without help. These kids also tend to have difficulty taking and waiting for turns, playing by the rules, and reacting appropriately if they're not winning. But that doesn't mean that the youngster who is different socially can't be included. Your son or daughter can learn the social etiquette of play, how to avoid and resolve conflicts, and how to show some empathy.

Techniques to help teach your Aspergers child how to get along with peers during "play":

1. Play with your son or daughter in a “peer-like” way. Kids with Aspergers learn crucial skills through play with other kids, but they also learn a great deal through play with their mom or dad. Aspergers kids whose moms and dads frequently play with them have more advanced social skills and get along better with peers. This is especially true, however, when the mother or father plays with their youngster in an effectively positive and peer-like way. Observational studies indicate that the parents of the most socially competent kids laugh and smile often, avoid criticizing their youngster during play, are responsive to the youngster's ideas, and aren't too directive.

2. Provide your son or daughter with opportunities to play with peers. There is no substitute for the experience Aspergers kids get from interacting with peers. Kids who have had many opportunities to play with peers from an early age are clearly at an advantage when they enter a formal group setting (e.g., daycare, public school). Aspies especially benefit when they can develop long- lasting relationships. Kids - even toddlers - who are able to participate in stable peer groups become more competent over time and have fewer difficulties than kids whose peer group membership shifts. In other words, kids develop more sophisticated social strategies when they are able to maintain stable relationships with other kids they like over long periods.

3. Reflect a positive, resilient attitude toward “social setbacks.” Exclusion by peers is a fact of life for the Aspergers child. Aspies have different reactions to these rejections, ranging from anger to acceptance. Some Aspies come to believe that “my friends are out to get me," or that peers are just generally mean, in which case they are likely to react with aggression and hostility to mild slights by peers. Other Aspies may assume that these rejections are caused by an enduring, personal deficiency (e.g., "there’s something wrong with me") and are likely to withdraw from further peer interaction.

Socially competent Aspies, in contrast, tend to explain these rejections as temporary or in ways that recognize that a social situation can be improved by changing their own behavior (e.g., "I'll try to be nice to my friends next time"). Sometimes these kids recognize that the situation itself led to the rejection (e.g., all three kids wanted to ride bikes, but there were only two bikes, so one child was left out).

Moms and dads of these socially competent Aspies endorse interpretations of social events that encourage resilient, constructive attitudes. Rather than making a statement like, "That's a really mean kid!" …they may say something like, "Well, maybe he's having a bad day." They make constructive attributions like, "Sometimes children just want to play by themselves," rather than expressing a sentiment such as, “Those kids are not being very nice if they won't let you play with them." These parents avoid negative statements like, "Maybe they don't like you," and offer instead suggestions like, "Maybe they don't want to play that particular game, but there might be something else they would enjoy." Such positive statements encourage Aspies to take an optimistic view of others and themselves as play partners. They reflect an upbeat, resilient attitude toward social setbacks and the belief that social situations can be improved with effort and positive behavior.

4. Use a problem-solving approach. When problem-solving, moms and dads can help their son or daughter consider various solutions and perspectives. As parents know, there are often no easy answers to most of kid’s problems with peers. Therefore, it is helpful for Aspies to learn how to think about relationships and weigh the consequences of their actions for themselves and others. Kids who are encouraged to think in terms of others' feelings and needs are more positive and prosocial with peers. Also, kids whose moms and dads talk with them more often about emotions are better liked by their peers.

5. Talk with your Aspergers child about social relationships and values. Aspies who have more frequent conversations with a parent about peer relationships are better liked by other kids in their classrooms and are rated by educators as more socially competent. As a part of normal, daily conversation, these parents and kids talk about the everyday events that happen in school, including things that happen with schoolmates. Often these interactions take place on the way home from school or at dinner. These talks are not lectures, but rather conversations enjoyed by both parent and youngster that (a) communicate to the youngster an interest in his/her well-being, and (b) serve as a basis for information exchange and genuine problem solving.

Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Teaching the Visually-Oriented Aspergers Student

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:44:00 +0000

Despite difficulties with eye contact, most children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are visual learners. Visual learners need to see the information. The whiteboard, texts for reading, or information on the computer all help these children succeed in the classroom.

It's important to distinguish that some visual learners prefer the written form of the language (e.g., a book that explains grammar or vocabulary). This preference is similar to an “analytical approach.” Other visual learners prefer diagrams or charts that illustrate grammar or vocabulary. This preference is similar to a “global approach.” Both types of visual learners may need to write down information in order to remember it.

Although some teachers believe notes aid memory, visual learners see notes as a prerequisite to memory. In other words, if they don't write down the information and/or draw charts and diagrams, then they won't remember the information.

Information or ideas heard may not be retained as well as if the Aspergers child had been able to take notes. Visual learners should be allowed to write notes or draw charts and diagrams in the class, perhaps with the teacher providing a minute or two after an explanation or presentation to take down the information. Longer recall times to activate the language will prove necessary if visual imagery doesn't accompany explanations.

The 7 learning styles:

Aural (auditory-musical): Student prefers using sound and music.
Logical (mathematical): Student prefers using logic, reasoning and systems.
Physical (kinesthetic): Student prefers using his/her body, hands and sense of touch.
Social (interpersonal): Student prefers to learn in groups or with other people.
Solitary (intrapersonal): Student prefers to work alone and use self-study.
Verbal (linguistic): Student prefers using words, both in speech and writing.
Visual (spatial): Student prefers using pictures, images, and spatial understanding.

Research shows us that each learning style uses different parts of the brain. By involving more of the brain during learning, we remember more of what we learn. Researchers using brain-imaging technologies have been able to find out the key areas of the brain responsible for each learning style. For example:

Aural: The temporal lobes handle aural content. The right temporal lobe is especially important for music.
Logical: The parietal lobes, especially the left side, drive our logical thinking.
Physical: The cerebellum and the motor cortex (at the back of the frontal lobe) handle much of our physical movement.
Social: The frontal and temporal lobes handle much of our social activities. The limbic system also influences both the social and solitary styles. The limbic system has a lot to do with emotions, moods and aggression.
Solitary: The frontal and parietal lobes, and the limbic system, are also active with this style.
Verbal: The temporal and frontal lobes.
Visual: The occipital lobes at the back of the brain manage the visual sense. Both the occipital and parietal lobes manage spatial orientation.

Teachers should remember the following when working with Aspergers and HFA students:

1. Flashcards with pictures and/or words are an excellent tool for visual students. If flashcards aren't available, then the child can make his own. Alternatively, when encountering new words, the child can picture the object in his/her head.

2. Listening skills are a primary component of oral communication. Extra opportunities should be given to build listening ability, with many opportunities for visual learners to hear and process the information.

3. Visual students may struggle with pronunciation, intonation, tone, register, and other aural skills.

4. The child with Aspergers or HFA tends to have the following traits:

•   Arrives at correct solutions intuitively
•   Creates unique methods of organization
•   Develops own methods of problem solving
•   Develops quite asynchronously
•   Enjoys geometry and physics
•   Generates unusual solutions to problems
•   Has good long-term visual memory
•   Has visual strengths
•   Is a good synthesizer
•   Is a late bloomer
•   Is a whole-part learner
•   Is better at math reasoning than computation
•   Is creatively, mechanically, emotionally, or technologically gifted
•   Is turned off by drill and repetition
•   Is very sensitive to teachers’ attitudes
•   Learns best by seeing relationships
•   Learns complex concepts easily, but struggles with easy skills
•   Learns concepts all at once
•   Learns concepts permanently
•   Learns whole words easily
•   Masters other languages through immersion
•   May have very uneven grades
•   Must visualize words to spell them
•   Prefers keyboarding to writing
•   Reads maps well
•   Relates well to space
•   Sees the big picture, but may miss details
•   Thinks primarily in pictures

5. The child with Aspergers or HFA tends NOT to have the following traits:

•   Attends well to details
•   Can show steps of work easily
•   Can sound out spelling words
•   Can write quickly and neatly
•   Develops fairly evenly
•   Excels at rote memorization
•   Follows oral directions well
•   Has auditory strengths
•   Has good auditory short-term memory
•   Is a step-by-step learner
•   Is an analytical thinker
•   Is an early bloomer
•   Is comfortable with one right answer
•   Is well-organized
•   Learns by trial and error
•   Learns in spite of emotional reactions
•   Learns languages in class
•   Learns phonics easily
•   Learns well from instruction
•   May need some repetition to reinforce learning
•   Progresses sequentially from easy to difficult material
•   Relates well to time
•   Thinks primarily in words

Teaching Students with Aspergers and HFA

The Autistic Brain: Malfunction or Human Evolution

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:53:00 +0000

Are you aware that Autism prevalence figures are growing rapidly? According to recent statistics, Autism now affects 1 in 54 male children. More young people will be diagnosed with Autism this year (male and female) than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined.

Autism is the fastest-growing “developmental disability” in the U.S. – and the only disorder dramatically on the rise (with mental retardation, Down syndrome, and cystic fibrosis remaining roughly the same). Earlier Autism prevalence figures were much lower, centering at about 0.5 per 1,000 during the 1960s and 1970s, and about 1 per 1,000 in the 1980s.

The reported spike in the prevalence of Autism raises questions about whether this dramatic increase is factual – or a byproduct of greater awareness that has led moms and dads, educators, and professionals to see symptoms of Autism in kids who would not have received the diagnosis 20 years ago.

The increase in Autism prevalence figures suggests several possibilities (here are just a few):

some relatively recent changes in the environment may be responsible
the diagnosis may be applied more broadly than before, as a result of the changing definition of the disorder, particularly changes in DSM-IV-TR
there may be more complete pickup of autism (i.e., case finding) as a result of increased awareness and funding (e.g., attempts to sue vaccine companies may have increased case-reporting).
this is the way the human brain is developing

Human evolution is characterized by a rapid increase in brain size and complexity. Decades of research have made important strides in identifying the unique features of the human brain. But it has become possible only very recently to examine the genetic basis of human brain evolution. Through “genomics” (i.e., the study of the genomes of organisms), tantalizing insights regarding human brain evolution have emerged.

Metabolic changes responsible for the evolution of the human brain’s unique cognitive abilities indicate that it may have been pushed to the limit of its capabilities. Research adds weight to the theory that some neurological disorders are a costly by-product of human brain evolution.

The idea that certain neurological disorders are by-products of increases in metabolic capacity and brain size, which occur during human evolution, has been suggested before, but now researchers have access to new technical approaches to really put the theory to the test.

The human brain is unique among all species in its enormous metabolic demand. If researchers can explain how the human brain sustains such a tremendous metabolic flow, they will have a much better chance to understand how the brain works – and why it sometimes “malfunctions.” But is it truly a “malfunction” (i.e., functions badly)? Or is the human brain on its evolutionary path to “hyper-functioning” (i.e., functioning above and beyond the norm).

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Journal Reference:
1. Khaitovich et al. Metabolic changes in schizophrenia and human brain evolution. Genome Biology, 2008 (in press) [link]

Making Sense of Sensory Sensitivities in Aspergers Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Tue, 08 May 2012 16:08:00 +0000

Many children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have difficulty processing everyday sensory information (e.g., sounds, sights, smells). This is called “sensory sensitivity,” and it can have a profound effect on a child’s life.

Most “neurotypical” children (i.e., kids without Aspergers) process sensory information automatically without needing to think about it much. However, children with sensory sensitivities have difficulty processing everyday sensory information. Those who struggle to deal with all this information are likely to become stressed or anxious, and possibly feel physical pain. This can result in difficult behavior. If the Aspergers child gets sensory overload, he may just “shut down.” He experiences what is known as “fragmentation” (similar to being tuned into 20 TV channels at once).

Children with Aspergers can be over-sensitive (i.e., hypersensitive) or under-sensitive (i.e., hyposensitive) in any of the following seven areas:

1. Sight—

Situated in the retina of the eye and activated by light, our sight helps us to define objects, people, colors, contrast and spatial boundaries. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   A central object is magnified, but things on the periphery are blurred.
•   Central vision is blurred, but peripheral vision quite sharp.
•   Objects appear quite dark or lose some of their features.
•   Poor depth perception – problems with throwing and catching; clumsiness.

Hypersensitive:

•   Distorted vision: objects and bright lights can appear to jump around.
•   Easier and more pleasurable to focus on a detail rather than the whole object.
•   Images may fragment.

2. Sound—

This is the most commonly recognized form of sensory impairment. Hearing impairments can affect a person’s ability to communicate as well as his balance. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   May not acknowledge particular sounds.
•   May only hear sounds in one ear, the other ear having only partial hearing or none at all.
•   Might enjoy crowded, noisy places or bang doors and objects.

Hypersensitive:

•   Inability to cut out sounds – notably background noise, which often leads to difficulties concentrating.
•   Noise can be magnified and sounds become distorted and muddled.
•   Particularly sensitive to sound and can, for example, hear conversations in the distance.

3. Touch—

Touch is important for social development. It helps us to assess the environment we are in and react accordingly. It also allows us to feel pain. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   Enjoys heavy objects (e.g., weighted blankets) on top of them.
•   Has a high pain threshold.
•   Holds others tightly - needs to do so before there is a sensation of having applied any pressure.
•   May self-harm.

Hypersensitive:

•   Difficulties brushing and washing hair because head is sensitive.
•   Dislikes having anything on hands or feet.
•   Only likes certain types of clothing or textures.
•   Touch can be painful and uncomfortable; child may not like to be touched, and this can affect his relationships with others.

4. Taste—

Chemical receptors in the tongue tell us about different tastes (e.g., sweet, sour, spicy, etc.). Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   Eats everything (e.g., soil, grass, Play-dough, etc.). This is called “pica.”
•   Likes very spicy foods.

Hypersensitive:

•   Certain textures cause discomfort; some children will only eat smooth foods (e.g., mashed potatoes, ice-cream).
•   Finds some flavors and foods too strong and overpowering because of very sensitive taste buds; has a restricted diet.

5. Smell—

Chemical receptors in the nose tell us about smells in our immediate environment. Smell is the first sense we rely upon. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   Some kids may lick things to get a better sense of what they are.
•   Some kids have no sense of smell and fail to notice extreme odors (can include their own body odor).

Hypersensitive:

•   Dislikes people with distinctive perfumes, shampoos, etc.
•   Smells can be intense and overpowering. This can cause toileting problems.

6. Balance (vestibular)—

Situated in the inner ear, our vestibular system helps us maintain our balance and posture, and understand where and how fast our bodies are moving. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   A need to rock, swing or spin to get some sensory input.

Hypersensitive:

•   Car sickness.
•   Difficulties stopping quickly or during an activity.
•   Difficulties with activities like sport, where the child needs to control his movements.
•   Difficulties with activities where the head is not upright or feet are off the ground.

7. Body awareness (proprioception)—

Situated in the muscles and joints, our body awareness system tells us where our bodies are in space, and how different body parts are moving. Children with Aspergers may experience the following differences:

Hyposensitive:

•   Hard to navigate rooms and avoid obstructions.
•   May bump into people.
•   Stands too close to others, because they cannot measure their proximity to other people and judge personal space.

Hypersensitive:

•   Moves whole body to look at something.
•   Difficulties with fine motor skills: manipulating small objects (e.g., buttons, shoe laces).

Note: “Synaesthesia” is a rare condition which some Aspergers kids experience. A sensory experience goes in through one system and out through another. So the child might hear a sound -- but experience it as a color (i.e., they will 'hear' the color blue).

*** How Parents and Teachers Can Help ***

Here are some ways you may be able to help a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism with sensory sensitivities:

Sight—

Hyposensitive:

•   Increase the use of visual supports.

Hypersensitive:

•   Create a workstation in the classroom (i.e., a space or desk with high walls or divides on both sides to block out visual distractions).
•   Reduce fluorescent lighting. Use deep-colored light bulbs instead.
•   Use blackout curtains.
•   Wear sunglasses.

Sound—

Hyposensitive:

•   Use visual supports to back up verbal information.

Hypersensitive:

•   Create a workstation.
•   Listen to music.
•   Prepare the child before going to noisy or crowded places.
•   Shut doors and windows to reduce external sounds.
•   Wear ear plugs.

Touch—

Hyposensitive:

•   Use weighted blankets or sleeping bags.

Hypersensitive:

•   Allow the child to complete activities themselves (e.g., hair brushing and washing) so that they can do what is comfortable for them.
•   Gradually introduce different textures. Have a box of materials available.
•   Remember that a hug may be painful rather than comforting.
•   Warn the child if you are about to touch him; always approach him from the front.

Taste—

Some Aspergers kids are hyper- or hyposensitive to taste, and may limit themselves to bland foods or crave very strong-tasting food. As long as the child eats a bit of a varied diet, taste sensitivity isn't necessarily a problem.

Smell—

Hyposensitive:

•   Use strong-smelling products as rewards and to distract the child from inappropriate strong-smelling stimuli (e.g., feces).

Hypersensitive:

•   Use unscented detergents or shampoos, avoid wearing perfume, and make the environment as fragrance-free as possible.

Balance—

Hyposensitive:

•   Encourage activities that help to develop the vestibular system. This can include using rocking horses, swings, roundabouts, seesaws, and games like catching a ball or practice walking smoothly up steps or curbs.

Hypersensitive:

•   Break down activities into small, more easily manageable steps; use visual cues (e.g., a finish line).

Body awareness—

Hyposensitive:

•   Use the “arm's-length” rule to judge personal space. This means standing an arm's length away from other people.
•   Put colored tape on the floor to indicate boundaries.
•   Position furniture around the edge of a room to make navigation easier.

Hypersensitive:

•   Do “fine motor” activities (e.g., lacing boards).

*** How Sensory Sensitivities Affect Behavior ***

Sometimes, children with Aspergers may behave in a way that you wouldn't immediately link to sensory sensitivities – but they may be the underlying cause. Here are some examples of how a child’s behavior may result from sensory sensitivities, and how parents can help:

Picky eater:

•   Possible reasons: sensitive to taste or texture, or unable to feel food around the mouth.
•   Possible solutions: change the texture of food (e.g., purée it). Slowly introduce different textures around the child’s mouth (e.g., a toothbrush, some different foods). Encourage activities that involve the mouth (e.g., whistles, bubble wands).

Chews on everything (e.g., clothing, objects):

•   Possible reasons: may find this relaxing, or enjoy the sensation of chewing on the item.
•   Possible solutions: offer latex-free tubes, straws or hard sweets.

Smearing:

•   Possible reasons: may like the texture of feces or not be very sensitive to smells.
•   Possible solutions: try and introduce things (e.g., jelly, corn flour, water) to handle instead; introduce alternative strong-smelling items.

Refuses to wear certain clothes:

•   Possible reasons: may dislike the texture or pressure of clothes on his skin.
•   Possible solutions: turn clothes inside out so there is no seam, remove any tags or labels, allow the child to wear clothes he’s comfortable in.

Difficulties getting to sleep:

•   Possible reasons: may have difficulty shutting down his senses, in particular sight and hearing.
•   Possible solutions: use blackout curtains or weighted blankets; listen to music to cut out external sounds.

Finds it difficult to concentrate in the classroom:

•   Possible reasons: too many distractions (e.g., noise, talking, bells, chairs scraping the floor, etc.) or visual stimuli (e.g., people, pictures on the wall, etc.). May also find holding a pencil uncomfortable (it may feel hard or cold).
•   Possible solutions: position Aspergers student away from doors and windows so there are fewer distractions. If possible, use an individual workstation with some screens around it or use classroom furniture to create a distraction-free area for the student. Try different textures to make the pencil more comfortable.

*** How Professionals Can Help ***

1.   Music therapists use instruments and sounds to develop the child’s sensory systems, usually their auditory (hearing) systems.

2.   Occupational therapists design programs and often make changes to the environment so that adults with sensory difficulties can live as independently as possible.

3.   Speech and language therapists often use sensory stimuli to encourage and support the development of language and interaction.

4.   Sensory rooms can help to stimulate, develop or balance the child’s sensory systems. Some specialist schools, local services and hospitals have them, as well as some nurseries. You may also come across sensory gardens. Some families create a sensory room in their house (or adapt a corner of a room, perhaps screening it off with a curtain).

Sensory rooms might include:

bubble tubes
disco lights
equipment that is activated by switches, movement, sound or pressure so that children learn about cause and effect
fiber optics
mirror balls
projectors
soothing music
tactile walls
vibrating cushions
water beds

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Tue, 08 May 2012 15:52:00 +0000

Integrating Young Adults with Asperger Syndrome with Typically Developing Peers

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 07 May 2012 14:50:00 +0000

Integrating Young Adults with Asperger Syndrome with Typically Developing Peers: An Essential Step in the Transition to Independence

Kyle Avery, Ramapo for Children

For many young adults on the spectrum, especially those with Asperger Syndrome, comfortable interaction with typically developing peers is more a dream than a reality. Yet when they transition to college or the work force, the ability to socialize becomes a prerequisite for success. To grow their social and emotional skills, these young adults need safe opportunities to interact with typically developing peers. This is why Ramapo for Children’s Staff Assistant Experience provides an integrated, inclusive environment to help young adults with social, emotional, or learning challenges transition to independence.

Roadblocks on the Path to Independence

Regardless of challenges, all youth seek the same things: to learn, have friends, feel valued, and experience success. Once high school ends, the most common paths to those goals are college or work. But teens with autism spectrum disorders like Asperger Syndrome can experience alienation instead of achievement on these paths due to their characteristic lag in social skills. Some colleges offer programs that support young adults with special needs, but their focus is primarily academic and does little to mitigate the discomfort that those with social and emotional challenges face in the less structured campus environment. Offices and work environments are even less forgiving, and poor social skills are often cited as a primary source of difficulties when young adults with special needs enter the workplace.

The greatest obstacle between the young adults who experience these setbacks and their ability to align their behaviors with their aspirations is the opportunity to practice social situations. In an unstructured environment, entering conversations can be a terrifying and confidence-destroying prospect, and real-time debriefing either is not an option or comes in the form of admonishment instead of support. The only way to improve social skills is to repeatedly take part in interactions until they become part of daily routine. Additionally, receiving constructive feedback based on those interactions is a great, underutilized tool to supportively help young adults improve their communication skills, recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and work to address them. Ramapo for Children takes the trepidation out of social interaction by fully immersing young adults with their typically developing peers and providing a safe space where mistakes and missteps become opportunities for improvement.

The Staff Assistant Experience: Supporting Young Adults in Transition

The Staff Assistant Experience is a residential transition-to-independence program for young adults with social, emotional, or learning challenges. The program offers participants an opportunity to improve and reinforce interpersonal, independent living, and job skills, build resilience and determination, and establish a future orientation. The program, based at Ramapo for Children’s Rhinebeck campus, is designed for young adults ages 18 to 25 who seek self-sufficiency and independence, but who have struggled in other, less supportive environments.

The Staff Assistant Experience Helps Participants Develop:

· Independent Living Skills—Ramapo provides coaching and instruction on such tasks as meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and household budgeting.

· Social Skills—Ramapo provides a variety of social opportunities and special community events that foster positive interactions and encourage friendships.

· Job Skills—Ramapo provides meaningful work opportunities to teach universally applicable vocational skills and help Staff Assistants manage relationships in the workplace.

Roommates, Job Coaches, Mentors: Immersion with Typically Developing Peers

The unique blending of social, work, and home life with typically developing peers is a hallmark of SAE. Participants live and work alongside these peers, who are their coworkers, colleagues, mentors, roommates, and friends. Being fully immersed with understanding and supportive peers who have greater social and emotional aptitude enables participants to gain comfort in social situations and provides ample opportunity to practice skill building. Participants receive immediate constructive feedback on social and professional development that recognizes their strengths and helps them improve their weaknesses. As one Staff Assistant noted about his experience on campus, “No one judges me, because everyone, kids and staff alike, are here to improve their skills and learn new things.” With everyone on the way to new achievements, missteps are taken in stride.

Building Social and Emotional Confidence One Day at a Time

These one-on-one interactions and skill support, along with the structured and inclusive environment, have helped Staff Assistants gain skills in everything from becoming more open-minded and starting conversations with peers, to slowing down and enunciating speech to facilitate conversations. With social and emotional skills broken down into achievable tasks, then modeled and reinforced by peers, everyday interactions that were once terrifying become manageable for Staff Assistants. The ease they gain on campus is directly applicable to future experiences in the workforce, higher education, or simply the everyday opportunities that enrich a young adult’s life.

Just as importantly, the Staff Assistant Experience helps participants feel like a part of a team in a way they never have before. With their colleagues and roommates, they’re “just one of the guys,” a member of the Ramapo family who can joke around with colleagues and have meaningful conversations with roommates without fear of rejection. The opportunity to be seen not as a diagnosis but as a friend and peer is what makes the Staff Assistant Experience work, and it’s what guides the Staff Assistants to new heights of independence and aptitude.

In addition to the Staff Assistant Experience, Ramapo for Children provides a residential summer camp for children ages 6 to 16 who are affected by social, emotional, or learning challenges; year-round retreats for young people, educators, and other community-based organizations; and adult training programs. For more information about Ramapo for Children or the Staff Assistant Experience, please visit www.ramapoforchildren.orgor contact Kyle Avery at (646) 588-2308 or kavery@ramapoforchildren.org.

The Aspergers-ADHD Overlap

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Sat, 05 May 2012 17:33:00 +0000

Has your child been misdiagnosed? You might be surprised!

Settling and Waking Problems in Aspergers Children

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 03 May 2012 14:49:00 +0000

"My Aspergers son has a terrible time getting to sleep, but then in the mornings, I have a terrible time getting him up and out the door for school. Any suggestions?"

Unfortunately, it seems that virtually all kids with Aspergers (High-Functioning Autism) are likely to suffer from disturbed sleep patterns at some point or another. Sleep problems can be divided into three main categories: (1) settling problems, where the youngster has difficulty going to sleep at the appropriate time, (2) waking problems, where the youngster wakes repeatedly during the night, and (3) arousal problems, where the child has a hard time waking up in the morning due to such a restless night.

Coping with settling/waking/arousal problems will require consistent reassurance on your part -- and a creative approach to your youngster's needs. Here are some tips:

1. Allergy and food sensitivities: Kids with Aspergers are perhaps more likely than their peers to be sensitive to foodstuffs (e.g., sugar, caffeine, additives, etc.), which can keep them awake. If your youngster frequently has sweet or caffeine-rich drinks and foodstuffs near bed time, then it is worth checking whether this could be disturbing his sleep.

2. Medication: Medical interventions are typically seen as a last resort in treating sleep disorders in kids because they can be habit-forming and do not treat the root cause of the problem. As a general rule, it is better to minimize the medication your youngster is on, but at certain times it may be desirable to have a mild sedative on hand (e.g., going on vacation). Some moms and dads have also found that using medication in tandem with a behavioral approach can help to restore a good sleep pattern. The combination is crucial, because without the behavioral intervention when the medical treatment ends, the youngster is likely to return to his old sleep patterns.

3. Melatonin: This is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland which has been shown to regulate sleep patterns. In kids with Aspergers, their patterns of melatonin secretion may be irregular, so it is not that they don't produce it, but that they don't produce it at the right times of day. Some foods are rich in melatonin (e.g., oats, rice, sweet corn, tomatoes, plums, bananas and Brazil nuts).

4. Natural remedies: Many of the natural remedies available from health food stores are supposed to treat insomnia and other sleep disorders. These may have similar effects to conventional medicines but carry less risk of side-effects than conventional sedatives. You could also try contacting a homoeopath.

5. Removing stimulants from the diet: Changing your youngster's bedtime routine can be stressful, and if they are used to having certain drinks or snacks near bedtime, suddenly switching to something different may be counter-productive. However, you could change to decaffeinated drinks, replace ordinary chocolate with sugar-free chocolate bought in health food stores, use carob powder to replace cocoa and chocolate, switch to sugar-free drinks or replace sugar in drinks with sweetener or fruit sugar, which may help some kids. Alternatively, you could try gently phasing certain foods out over a period of days or weeks so that your youngster is consuming less and less sugar and caffeine overall without having anything suddenly taken away from them.

6. Lack of social sense: Kids with Aspergers may have difficulty understanding why and when they need to sleep. Problems with social cueing (i.e., learning why and in what order things should happen) are common in Aspergers, and this may mean your youngster doesn’t make the connection between his family going to bed and his own need to sleep.

7. Establishing a routine: Kids with Aspergers respond well to routine and structure because it allows them to feel safe and in control. Whatever routine you try to impose needs to be something you feel comfortable implementing and that your family can agree on. It may take several weeks for it to alter your youngster's sleep patterns. It can help to present this routine visually, using a timetable for example, so your youngster knows exactly what to expect, including getting up in the morning. If the routine needs to be altered, it can then be explained visually. It may be that your youngster's timetable needs to be more detailed so that he is told exactly what to do when going to bed, for example, draw the curtains, get in to bed, turn light off, lie down, pull cover up, etc. It may also be worth setting aside some time to prepare for the next day in the routine. This could include getting the school bag ready or making a list/timetable of things that need to be done the next day.

8. Using relaxation techniques: Kids with Aspergers may not be able to articulate their need to unwind and relax, and they may feel more anxious and confused around bedtime. Relaxation techniques can be introduced in low-key, non-intrusive ways. Some possible techniques are as follows:

Adding a few drops of lavender oil to your youngster's bath or pillow.
Giving your youngster a massage.
Introducing an hour's quiet time before the youngster's bedtime.
Providing the youngster with a set time to talk about their day or their worries as part of the evening routine.
Physically exhausting your kids is a good way of ensuring that they sleep! Many kids with Aspergers enjoy rough and tumble play, and although this may seem to be the opposite of the points made above regarding quiet time, it might be more effective for some kids.
Relaxation aids such as music and yoga can be very useful.
Some moms and dads have reported having lighting (e.g., a lava lamp) in the bedroom can be helpful.

9. Dealing with sensory issues:

It’s worth considering if smells in the room, or coming from other parts of the house, may affect children with heightened senses.
Some kids are exceptionally sensitive to light, so sleeping when there is even a very dim light on could be very difficult for them. Putting up thick curtains will block out as much light as possible in your youngster's room.
Some moms and dads have found that their kids can be woken by very slight sounds at night. Ear plugs, or music playing on headphones, could be used to block out noise for those kids who are comfortable with wearing these.
The layout of the room may need to be adjusted. Although it may be comforting for some kids to have lots of their belongings around them, it may serve to be quite distracting for others. Even the colors of the room or pictures on the wall may be disturbing.
Touch sensitivity is extremely common in Aspergers. Some kids experience certain types of touch as physical pain. Labels on bed clothes and different materials can also be uncomfortable. Some kids respond well to a weighted blanket, which is made from thick blanket material like a quilt with the pockets filled with beans.

10. Keeping a diary: If you think your youngster may have a sleep disorder and you want to get an idea of the extent of the problem, it is a good idea to keep a sleep diary as the initial step to solving the problem. If you decide to try any routines or behavioral modifications to help your youngster to sleep, then the sleep diary will allow you to see if what you are doing is working consistently, sporadically or not at all.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Organization Skills for Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:49:00 +0000

"Any tips on how I can help my child get more organized? He loses and misplaces many things, including homework and school books, which is now affecting his grades. Help!"

Children and teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have deficits in what we call “cognitive function” (i.e., the intellectual process by which we think, reason, understand ideas, and remember things). So a child with Aspergers may have difficulties with:

“executive function” (i.e., he/she may be detail-focused and less able to see the whole picture)
predicting the consequences of an action (e.g., “If you do this, what will happen next?”)
processing information
understanding the concept of time

One or all of these four examples can affect Aspergers kid’s ability to organize, prioritize and sequence (e.g., if they struggle to understand the concept of time, they will have difficulty planning what to do over the course of a week).

Below are some ways in which children and teens with Aspergers and HFA can organize and prioritize daily activities and tasks. At first, parents may need to have a lot of involvement introducing the techniques and helping their child to get used to using them. Also, the techniques can be used in more than one place (e.g., at home and at school). Therefore, it is important that everyone who is using them (e.g., parents, babysitters, teachers, friends, etc.) uses them consistently. Over time, most children and teens with Aspergers will be able to use the strategies independently (although some may always need a certain degree of support).

Organizations Skills—

1. Be a coach: For the best results, you'll want to be a low-key coach. You can ask questions that will help your child get on track and stay there. But use these questions only to prompt their thought process about what needs to be done.

2. Color coding for tasks: Colors can be used to indicate the importance or significance of tasks (e.g., chores, homework, etc.), and therefore help to prioritize tasks and work through them in a logical sequence. For example, a note on the child’s bulletin board written in red could mean “urgent.” A note on the bulletin board written in green could mean “pending.” And a note written in blue is not important or has no timescale attached to it.

3. Lists: Lists, both written and pictorial, can help children with Aspergers in the same way as color coding. Lists can also be a good way of (a) registering achievements (e.g., by crossing something off when he/she has completed the task) and (b) reassuring the child that he/she is getting things done.

4. Make a plan: Decide on one thing to focus on first. You can come up with three things and let your youngster choose one (e.g., if homework or a particular chore has been a problem, that's the natural place to begin).

5. Praise progress, but don't go overboard: The self-satisfaction children will feel will be a more powerful motivator.

6. Sell your youngster on the idea of “staying organized”: Brainstorm about what might be easier or better if your youngster was more organized and focused. Maybe homework would get done faster, there would be more play time, and there would be less nagging about chores. Then there's the added bonus of your youngster feeling proud and you being proud, too.

7. Set expectations: Be clear, in a kind way, that you expect your children to work on these skills and that you'll be there to help along the way.

8. Social stories and comic strip conversations: Social stories and comic strip conversations can be a really good way of illustrating the consequences of an action and can help children to understand why it's good to be organized (e.g., what might happen if the child doesn't get his/her homework done).

9. Task boxes, envelopes and files: Children can store work or belongings in set places, so that they aren't misplaced or forgotten.

10. Teaching materials: You may find that certain teaching materials (e.g., sequence cards, games, timers, clocks, etc.) help some Aspergers kids to understand the concept of time and sequences. Materials like this can be adapted and used in different places (e.g., home and school).

11. Times of day, days of the week: It may be easiest to use times of day (e.g., morning, afternoon or evening) or days of the week (e.g., Sunday through Saturday) to help the child plan and organize tasks, social activities and other events (e.g., 5:00 PM is “homework time” … or Monday is “laundry day”).

12. Visual supports: Using pictures, written lists, calendars and real objects can all be good ways of helping Aspergers kids to understand what is going to happen – and when! For example, the child might have a daily timetable with pictures of a shower, clothes, breakfast, their school, dinner, a toothbrush, pajamas, and a bed to indicate what he/she will be doing, and in what order, that day. This can help children plan their day and organize themselves.

13. Get feedback: Be sure to ask your youngster's opinion of how things are going so far.

14. Start thinking in questions: Though you might not realize it, every time you take on a task, you ask yourself questions and then answer them with thoughts and actions. If you want to unload groceries from the car, you ask yourself:

Q: Did I get them all out of the trunk?

A: No. I'll go get the rest.

Q: Did I close the trunk?

A: Yes.

Q: Where's the ice cream? I need to put it away first.

A: Done. Now, what's next?

Encourage your child to start seeing tasks as a series of questions and answers. Suggest that he/she ask these questions out loud and then answer them. These questions are the ones you hope will eventually live inside your youngster's head. And with practice, he/she will learn to ask them without being prompted. So, work together to come up with questions that need to be asked so the chosen task can be completed. You might even jot them down on index cards. Start by asking the questions and having your youngster answer. Later, transfer responsibility for the questions from you to your youngster.

15. Digital devices:

Computer calendars can have important dates stored on them, or reminders about when to complete a certain chore.
Mobile phones can be used to store important information, or to act as a reminder.
Radios and televisions can be set to come on at a particular time as a reminder to do something.
Instructions can be sent by text. Text messages lend themselves to this especially well since parents should keep instructions brief and simple.
Hand-held voice recorders can be a useful auditory reminder of tasks, work, events or deadlines.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Obsessions in Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 18:23:00 +0000

"Why is my 6-year-old Aspergers son so engrossed in Pokemon, and how can I tell if it is an unhealthy obsession rather than just a fun time activity for him?"

The intensity and duration of the child’s interest in a particular topic, object or collection is what determines whether or not it has become an “obsession.” Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism will often learn a lot about a thing they are obsessed with, be intensely interested in it for a long time, and feel strongly about it. There are several reasons why these kids may develop obsessions, including:

they can get a lot of enjoyment from learning about a particular subject or gathering together items of interest
those who find social interaction difficult might use their special interests as a way to start conversations and feel more self-assured in social situations
obsessions may help children cope with the uncertainties of daily life
obsessions may help children to relax and feel happy
obsessions may provide order and predictability
obsessions may provide structure

Many children with Aspergers have sensory sensitivity and may be over- or under-sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch. This sensitivity can also affect children’s balance ('vestibular' system) and body awareness ('proprioception' or knowing where our bodies are and how they are moving). Obsessions and repetitive behavior can be a way to deal with sensory sensitivity.

Although repetitive behavior varies from child to child, the reasons behind it may be the same:

a source of enjoyment and occupation
a way to deal with stress and anxiety and to block out uncertainty
an attempt to gain sensory input (e.g., rocking may be a way to stimulate the balance or vestibular system; hand-flapping may provide visual stimulation)
an attempt to reduce sensory input (e.g., focusing on one particular sound may reduce the impact of a loud, distressing environment; this may particularly be seen in social situations)
some adolescents may revert to old repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand-flapping, rocking if anxious or stressed)

Reality to an Aspergers child is a confusing, interacting mass of events, people, places, sounds and sights. Set routines, times, particular routes and rituals all help to get order into an unbearably chaotic life. Trying to keep everything the same reduces some of the terrible fear.

Many children with Aspergers have a strong preference for routines and sameness. Routines often serve an important function. For example, they introduce order, structure and predictability and help to manage anxiety. Because of this, it can be very distressing if an Aspergers child’s routine is disrupted.

Sometimes minor changes (e.g., moving between two activities) can be distressing. For others, big events (e.g., holidays, birthdays, Christmas, etc.), which create change and upheaval, can cause anxiety. Unexpected changes are often most difficult to deal with.

Some children with Aspergers have daily timetables so that they know what is going to happen, when. However, the need for routine and sameness can extend beyond this. You might see:

a need for routine around daily activities such as meals or bedtime
changes to the physical environment (e.g., the layout of furniture in a room), or the presence of new people or absence of familiar ones, being difficult to manage
compulsive behavior (e.g., the child might be constantly washing his hands or checking locks)
rigid preferences about things like food (e.g., only eating food of a certain color), clothing (e.g., only wearing clothes made from specific fabrics), or everyday objects (e.g., only using particular types of soap or brands of toilet paper)
routines can become almost ritualistic in nature, having to be followed precisely with attention paid to the tiniest details
verbal rituals, with a child repeatedly asking the same questions and needing a specific answer

Children's dependence on routines can increase during times of change, stress or illness and may even become more dominant or elaborate at these times. Dependence on routines may increase or re-emerge during adolescence. Routines can have a profound effect on the lives of children with Aspergers, their family and care-takers, but it is possible to make a child less reliant on them.

Obsessions versus Hobbies—

Most of us have hobbies, interests and a preference for routine. Here are five questions that can help us distinguish between hobbies/interests versus obsessive behavior:

Can the child stop the behavior independently?
Does the child appear distressed when engaging in the behavior or does the child give signs that he is trying to resist the behavior (e.g., someone who flaps their hands may try to sit on their hands to prevent the behavior)?
Is the behavior causing significant disruption to others (e.g., moms and dads, care-takers, peers, siblings)?
Is the behavior impacting on the child’s learning?
Is the behavior limiting the child’s social opportunities?

If your answer to any of the questions above is 'yes', it may be appropriate to look at ways of helping your youngster to reduce obsessive or repetitive behavior. Think about whether, by setting limits around a particular behavior, you are really helping your youngster. Is the behavior actually a real issue for him, for you, or for other people in his life?

Focus on developing skills that your youngster can use instead of repetitive or obsessive behavior. Try to understand the function of the behavior, then make small, gradual changes and be consistent. Here are some ideas to help you:

1. Coping with change: If unexpected changes occur, and your youngster is finding it hard to cope, try re-directing them to a calming activity, or encourage them to use simple relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises. You could use praise or other rewards for coping with change. In the long term, this may help make your youngster more tolerant of change.

2. Explore alternative activities: One way to interrupt repetitive behavior is for a youngster to do another enjoyable activity that has the same function (e.g., a youngster who flicks their fingers for visual stimulation could play with a kaleidoscope or a bubble gun; a youngster who puts inedible objects in their mouth could have a bag with edible alternatives that provide similar sensory experiences such as raw pasta or spaghetti, or seeds and nuts; a youngster who rocks to get sensory input could go on a swing; a youngster who smears their poop could have a bag with play dough in it to use instead).

3. Intervene early: Repetitive behaviors, obsessions and routines are generally harder to change the longer they continue. A behavior that is perhaps acceptable in a young Aspie may not be appropriate as they get older and may, by this time, be very difficult to change. For example, a youngster who is obsessed with shoes and tries to touch people's feet might not present too much of a problem, but a teenager doing the same thing - especially to strangers - will obviously be problematic. It will help if you can set limits around repetitive behaviors from an early age and look out for any new behavior that emerges as your youngster gets older. Making your youngster's environment and surroundings more structured can help them to feel more in control and may reduce anxiety. If anxiety is reduced, the need to engage in repetitive behavior and adhere strictly to routines may also, in time, be reduced.

4. Pre-planning: You may be able to help your youngster to cope with change, or activities and events that could be stressful, by planning for them in advance. Change is unavoidable, but it can be really difficult for many children with Aspergers. You may not always be able to prepare for change a long time in advance, but try to give your youngster as much warning as possible. Gradually introducing the idea of a new person, place, object or circumstance can help them cope with the change. Try to talk about the event or activity when everyone is fairly relaxed and happy. Presenting information visually can be a good idea, as your youngster can refer to it as often as they need to. You could try using calendars so that your youngster knows how many days it is before an event (e.g., Christmas) happens. This can help them feel prepared. Your youngster might also like to see photos of places or objects in advance so they know what to expect (e.g., a picture of their Christmas present) or a photo of the building they are going to for an appointment. Using social stories could also be helpful. These are short stories, often with pictures, that describe different situations and activities so that children with Aspergers know what to expect. Pre-planning can also involve structuring the environment. For example, a student with Aspergers might go to use a computer in the library at lunchtime if they find being in the playground too stressful – or if a youngster has sensory sensitivity, minimizing the impact of things like noises (e.g., school bells) or smells (e.g., perfumes or soaps) can help them to cope better. It is possible that more structured environments may reduce boredom, which is sometimes a reason for repetitive behavior. You might prepare a range of enjoyable or calming activities to re-direct your youngster to if they seem bored or stressed.

5. Self-regulation skills: Self-regulation skills are any activities that help your youngster to manage their own behavior and emotions. If you can help your youngster to identify when they are feeling stressed or anxious and use an alternative response (e.g., relaxation techniques or asking for help), you may, in time, see less repetitive or ritualistic behavior. Research has also shown that increasing a child’s insight into an obsession or repetitive behavior can significantly reduce it. This includes children with quite severe learning disabilities.

6. Set limits: Setting limits around repetitive behavior, routines and obsessions is an important and often essential way to minimize their impact on your youngster's life. You could set limits in a number of ways depending which behavior concerns you. For example, you can ration objects (e.g., can only carry five pebbles in pocket), ration places (e.g., spinning only allowed at home), and ration times (e.g., can watch his favorite DVD for 20 minutes twice a day). Everyone involved with your youngster should take the same consistent approach to setting limits. Have clear rules about where, when, with whom and for how long a behavior is allowed. You could present this information visually, with a focus on when your youngster can engage in the behavior. This may help if they feel anxious about restricted access to an obsession or activity.

7. Social skills training: Teaching social skills (e.g., how to start and end a conversation, appropriate things to talk about, how to read other people's 'cues') may mean someone with Aspergers feels more confident and doesn't need to rely on talking about particular subjects (e.g., a special interest).

8. Understand the function of the behavior: Obsessions, repetitive behavior and routines are frequently important and meaningful to children with Aspergers, helping them to manage anxiety and have some measure of control over a confusing and chaotic world. For others, the behavior may help with sensory issues. Take a careful look at what you think might be causing the behavior and what purpose it might serve. For example, does your youngster always seem to find a particular environment (e.g., a classroom) hard to cope with? Is it too bright? Could you turn off strip lighting and rely on natural daylight instead?

9. Visual supports: Visual supports (e.g., photos, symbols, written lists or physical objects) can really help children with Aspergers. A visual timetable could help your youngster to see what is going to happen next. This makes things more predictable and helps them to feel prepared. It may lessen their reliance on strict routines of their own making. Visual supports like egg timers or 'time timers' can help some children with Aspergers to understand abstract concepts like time, plan what they need to do, when in order to complete a task, and understand the concept of waiting. Visual supports can also be useful if your youngster asks the same question repeatedly. One parent wrote down the answer to a question, put it on the fridge and, whenever her son asked the question, told him to go to the fridge and find the answer. For kids who can't read, you could use pictures instead of words.

10. Make use of obsessions: Obsessions can be used to increase your youngster's skills and areas of interest, promote self-esteem, and encourage socializing. You may find you can look at a particular obsession and think of ways to develop it into something more functional. Here are some examples:

A child with a special interest in historical dates could join a history group and meet others with similar interests.
A child with knowledge of sport or music would be a valuable member of a pub quiz team.
A strong preference for ordering or lining up objects could be developed into housework skills.
An interest in particular sounds could be channeled into learning a musical instrument.
An obsession with rubbish could be used to develop an interest in recycling, and the youngster given the job of sorting items for recycling.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Potty-Training Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: Special Considerations

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:29:00 +0000

"Any tips on potty training a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder?"

Potty-training success hinges on physical and emotional readiness, not a specific age. Many children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) show an interest in toilet-training by age 2, but others might not be ready until age 3 or even older — and there's no rush. If you start toilet-training too early, it might take longer to train your youngster.

Is your ASD youngster ready? Ask yourself these questions:

Can your youngster pull down his/her pants and pull them up again?
Can your youngster sit on and rise from a potty chair?
Can your youngster understand and follow basic directions?
Does your youngster complain about wet or dirty diapers?
Does your youngster seem interested in the potty chair or toilet, or in wearing underwear?
Does your youngster stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?
Does your youngster tell you through words, facial expressions or posture when he/she needs to go?

If you answered mostly yes, your youngster might be ready for toilet-training. If you answered mostly no, you might want to wait awhile — especially if your youngster has recently faced or is about to face a major change, such as a move or the arrival of a new sibling. A toddler who opposes toilet-training today might be open to the idea in a few months.

There's no need to postpone toilet-training if your youngster has a chronic medical condition, but is able to use the toilet normally. Be aware that the process might take longer, however.

When you decide it's time to begin toilet-training, set your youngster up for success. Start by maintaining a sense of humor and a positive attitude — and recruiting all of your youngster's caregivers to do the same.

Next, follow these practical steps:

If your ASD youngster has frequent accidents, absorbent underwear might be best. Keep a change of underwear and clothing handy, especially at school or in childcare.

Some ASD children respond to stickers or stars on a chart. For others, trips to the park or extra bedtime stories are effective. Experiment to find what works best for your youngster. Reinforce your youngster's effort with verbal praise, such as, "How exciting! You're learning to use the toilet just like big children do!" Be positive, even if a trip to the toilet isn't successful.

After several weeks of successful potty breaks, your youngster might be ready to trade diapers for training pants or regular underwear. Celebrate this transition. Go on a special outing. Let your youngster select "big kid" underwear. Call close friends or loved ones and let your youngster spread the news. Once your youngster is wearing training pants or regular underwear, avoid overalls, belts, leotards or other items that could hinder quick undressing.

When you notice signs that your youngster might need to use the toilet (e.g., squirming, squatting holding the genital area, etc.) – respond quickly. Help your youngster become familiar with these signals, stop what he/she is doing and head to the toilet. Praise your youngster for telling you when he/she has to go. Teach females to wipe carefully from front to back to prevent bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina or bladder. When it's time to flush, let your youngster do the honors. Make sure your youngster washes his/her hands after using the toilet.

If your youngster resists using the potty chair or toilet or isn't getting the hang of it within a few weeks, take a break. Chances are he/she isn't ready yet. Try again in a few months.

Accidents often happen when ASD children are absorbed in activities that — for the moment — are more interesting than using the toilet. To fight this phenomenon, suggest regular bathroom trips (e.g., first thing in the morning, after each meal and snack, before getting in the car, before going to bed, etc.). Point out telltale signs of holding it (e.g., holding the genital area).

Place a potty chair in the bathroom. You might want to try a model with a removable top that can be placed directly on the toilet when your youngster is ready. Encourage your youngster to sit on the potty chair — with or without a diaper. Make sure your youngster's feet rest firmly on the floor or a stool. Help your youngster understand how to talk about the bathroom using simple, correct terms. You might dump the contents of a dirty diaper into the potty chair to show its purpose, or let your youngster see family members using the toilet.

If your youngster is interested, have him/her sit on the potty chair or toilet without a diaper for a few minutes several times a day. For males, it's often best to master urination sitting down, and then move to standing up after bowel training is complete. Create a potty-training social story, read a toilet-training book, or give your youngster a special toy to use while sitting on the potty chair or toilet. Stay with your youngster when he/she is in the bathroom. Even if your youngster simply sits there, offer praise for trying — and remind your youngster that he/she can try again later.

Occasional accidents are harmless, but they can lead to teasing, embarrassment and alienation from peers. If your toilet-trained youngster reverts or loses ground — especially at age 4 or older — or you're concerned about your youngster's accidents, contact his/her doctor. Sometimes wetting problems indicate an underlying physical condition (e.g., urinary tract infection, overactive bladder, etc.). Prompt treatment can help your youngster become accident-free.

Most ASD kids master daytime bladder control first, often within about two to three months of consistent toilet-training. Nap and nighttime training might take months — or years. In the meantime, use disposable training pants or plastic mattress covers when your youngster sleeps.

ASD children don't have accidents to irritate their moms and dads. If your youngster has an accident, don't add to the embarrassment by scolding or disciplining him/her. You might say, "You forgot this time. Next time you'll get to the bathroom sooner."

Have plenty of patience, keep it simple, and make it fun!

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Resolving "Homework Battles" With Aspergers Children

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:00:00 +0000

"Getting my Aspergers son to do his homework has become a nightly battle. We are at the point of arguing constantly, which clearly is making a bad problem worse. Is there a way I can help him understand the importance of education and to develop some interest in following through with schoolwork?"

Homework can be very difficult for kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism to understand for the following reasons:

· they do not understand why they are expected to do schoolwork at home

· they find school stressful and do not want any reminders of it at home

· they might have difficulty with organization skills

· they find it difficult to remember to write down all the homework and remember deadlines

However, there are a number of tips that can help these young people in the future:

1. Allow Aspergers kids to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice kids do not have is whether or not to study.

2. Doing homework can suck on its own. It’s even worse when your youngster is hunched over the books alone thinking that the rest of the family is having a party in the other room. Sit with your youngster, review the work, encourage and help (but don’t you dare do the homework yourself!). If you must get things done, at least park your youngster in the same room so you can answer questions as you make dinner, pay bills, or post of Facebook.

3. Eliminate the word “homework” from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word “study.” Have a study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table instead of a homework table. This word change alone will go a long way towards eliminating the problem of your youngster saying, "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if you don't have any homework. It's amazing how much more homework Aspergers children have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.

4. Only help if your youngster asks for it. Don’t do problems or assignments for kids. When your youngster says, "I can't do it," suggest they act as if they can. Tell them to pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave the immediate area and let them see if they can handle it from there. If they keep telling you they don't know how and you decide to offer help, concentrate on asking than on telling. Ask: "What do you get?" … "What parts do you understand?" … "Can you give me an example?" … "What do you think the answer is?" … or "How could you find out?"

5. Disorganization is a problem for most Aspergers kids. If you want them to be organized, you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Your job is to teach them the system. Their job is to use it. Check occasionally to see if the system is being used. Check more often at first. Provide direction and correction where necessary. If your youngster needs help with time management, teach them time management skills. Help them learn what it means to prioritize by the importance and due date of each task. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.

6. If your child can’t do his homework at school, he might need to unwind and relax when he first comes home, instead of launching straight into work. Giving him time to reduce his stress levels may mean that he then finds it easier to focus on the work later on. Some kids may also benefit from using either a reward system or a behavior contract. If he successfully completes his homework every day for a week, could he get a reward at the weekend? Alternatively a behavior contract could be drawn-up with everyone in the family, with everyone agreeing to do one task every day - and it could be agreed that completing his homework will be the thing that your child will do.

7. If your child finds it difficult to understand why he does homework at home, could he do it at school instead? Some kids find break and lunchtime very hard and they may find it preferable to sit in the library or a quiet place in the school and do their work. Some schools also have after-school clubs or homework clubs, which your child may find of use.

8. If your child has more than one piece of homework, it may be useful to ask the teachers in each lesson to either make sure your child has written down the homework in his diary, or write it in for him. They may also need to provide written instructions to take home which breaks the task down further as well.

9. Keep the routine predictable and simple. One possibility includes a five minute warning that study time is approaching, bringing their current activity to an end, clearing the study table, emptying their back pack of books and supplies, then beginning.

10. Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage kids to develop a lifetime love of learning. Instead make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

11. If homework is something your children have to squeeze in between karate, piano lessons and soccer practice, they’re not going to think of it as important. And, unless you really enjoy over-dramatic tears and hearing every excuse in the book, avoid doing homework right before bedtime at all costs.

12. Time slams to a crawl for many Aspergers children when faced with a stack of papers and a #2 pencil. Set a timer for 15 minutes and, when it dings, tell your youngster to take a quick break to stretch, get a drink of water or collapse on the floor and moan “I hate doing homework” over and over again. Really active children may need to run around the house before they get back to the books.

13. Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Do the dishes, fold laundry, or write thank you notes. Keep the TV off! If you engage in fun or noisy activities during that time kids will naturally be distracted. Study time is a family commitment. If you won't commit to it, don't expect that you kids will.

14. You need to use leverage to get some children to do anything. Do they love television? Computer games? Guitar Hero? Unplug it all until homework is done. You can even exchange homework time for something they love: 15 minutes of effective homework time = 15 minutes with their beloved plugged-in whatnot.

15. There comes a time when your Aspergers child has to accept that homework is his responsibility. So, if you’re really tearing your hair out and aging prematurely due to the nightly fighting, it may be time to let your little bird fly on its own. Let your youngster go to school with an unfinished assignment and accept the consequences. Collaborating with the teacher ahead of time may insure an appropriate response to “the dog ate my homework”.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums

Behavior Problems At Home - But Not At School

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:04:00 +0000

"I have great difficulty with my 6-year-old Aspergers daughter at home due to frequent tantrums and meltdowns, yet her teacher states that her behavior at school is quite good. Why is this – and what can I do to get the same results at home?"

First of all, just because the behavior occurs at home doesn’t necessarily mean the “cause” of the behavior lies there. Your daughter may find school very stressful, but keeps her emotions bottled-up until she gets home. Most kids with Aspergers do not display the body language and facial expressions you would expect to see when a youngster is feeling a particular way. While your daughter may appear relatively calm at school, she may be experiencing very different emotions under the surface.

Asking an Aspergers youngster how she feels may not get the correct response, because most Aspies struggle to explain their emotions to someone. Some Aspergers kids find carrying visual “stress scales” helpful for overcoming these communication problems. These scales can be either in the format of a scale from 1-5, a thermometer, or a traffic light system. The idea is that when the youngster indicates that she is at a '4' or 'amber' (before she reaches a '5' or 'red'), she needs to be helped in some way to calm down again.

Instead of adults asking your daughter how she is feeling, she can show them the appropriate number or color. Scales can turn “emotions” (which are abstract concepts that require imagination to understand fully) into concrete examples of numbers or colors. This is something that kids with Aspergers find easier to understand. If your daughter finds it difficult to use a scale, she could use a “help card” instead. This could be a red card, or have the word ‘help’ or a meaningful symbol on it, which she could carry around. When she begins to feel stressed-out or mad, she can show it to a teacher. It is important that everyone in contact with your daughter knows what to do if they are shown a card or a stress scale.

Some Aspergers kids may need to be redirected to a different activity, have a quick run outside, or retreat to a quieter part of the school. It can be difficult to find a quiet area, especially in a big mainstream school, but it does not need to be a big space. Some schools will have an area (e.g., the library) where your daughter can listen to her iPod (for example) in order to filter-out external noise for a few minutes while she calms down.

Teachers may be concerned that by giving your daughter a card to leave the room, she may abuse the privilege (e.g., showing it to avoid activities she doesn’t want to be in), thus disrupting her education. Strict boundaries need to be given to your daughter regarding the use of a card or stress scale (e.g., clear instructions about where your daughter gets to go – and for how long). On a positive note, effective use of the card could ultimately reduce the amount of disruption to your daughter’s education. Instead of her being kept in a permanent state of anxiety during class, she may return to the classroom much more relaxed and focused.

Some moms and dads report behavioral difficulties in their Aspergers kids when they first come home after school, which might be because they are releasing the stress of the school day. If your daughter does this, it might be helpful to have a period of time right after school when she can relax. You could do this by reducing the amount of social interaction your daughter has immediately after school and by providing an activity which you think may help her de-stress. This activity will depend on your daughter’s preferences. If she is relatively physical in her method of stress-release (e.g., kicking or hitting), providing a trampoline, punching bag, or letting her run around the yard may help relieve the stress. Other Aspergers kids like to clam-down by watching television or listening to music. Some find lights especially soothing (e.g., a bubble tube or spinning light).

For some Aspergers kids, the timetable of the school day provides enough structure and routine to help contain any anxiety and stress. Aspies have a strong preference for routine, and this is automatically incorporated into most school environments. Your daughter may benefit from having a visual timetable for home as well (it will make the environment more predictable for her). A timetable can either be constructed showing the whole day's activities, half the day, or simply the activities that are now and next.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns at Home and School

The Misunderstood Aspergers Child

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 15:05:00 +0000

This video reveals the true reasons behind the behavior that some teachers may view as insubordination. Is your Aspergers student "misbehaving" - or is he simply experiencing some "Aspergers-related" symptoms? Either way - you can help!

Note to parents: Please email your child's teacher(s) and send them the link to the video below. Copy and paste the following URL into your email: http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2012/04/misunderstood-aspergers-child.html

Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

The Strengths of Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 20:28:00 +0000

Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism possess a combination of strengths and difficulties.

This video focuses on the strengths:

Most Aspergers children:

can stick to routines…
are able to forgive others…
are accepting of others…
are gentle…
are honest…
are not bullies, con artists, or social manipulators…
are not inclined to steal…
are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves…
are smart, they study hard, and they respect authority…
are talented…
can make amazingly loyal friends...
don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, or age...
don’t launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise…
don't play head games, and don’t take advantage of other’s weaknesses…
enjoy their own company, and can spend time alone…
have a child-like innocence, an exceptional memory, and have no interest in harming others…
notice fine details that others miss…
prefer talking about significant things that will enhance their knowledge-base, rather than engaging in chit chat…
will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong…

Teaching Self-Care Skills to Aspergers Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:52:00 +0000

"How can I teach my 4-year-old daughter with High-Functioning Autism some basic self-care skills like brushing her teeth, taking a bath, getting dressed for school, etc.? Currently she insists that I help her with everything. Help!"

There are two main ways to teach self-care skills:

1. Backward chaining: This starts at the last step and works through the activity to the first step. For example, once your daughter has brushed her teeth with your help, move backwards through each step slowly (“You just brushed and rinsed your teeth. Before that, we turned on the water. Before that, we put toothpaste on your toothbrush. Before that, we got your toothbrush and toothpaste from the drawer.”).

2. Forward chaining: This teaches a skill in small steps from the first step of the activity through to the last step. For example, “To get dressed in the morning, first you put on your underwear and socks, then put on your pants, then your shirt, then…” (and so on).

Whichever you decide to use for your daughter, make sure the activity is broken down into the smallest steps possible.

You may also want to use prompts to help your daughter learn self-care skills. For example, if you are trying to teach her to wash her hands, you could use theses prompts in the following order:

Gestural: mime washing your hands next to your daughter while she washes her own hands
Physical: hold her hands and wash your hands together
Verbal: say "wash your hands" or show her a ‘wash hands’ symbol, which you can leave above the sink as a prompt for next time

It is important to remove the prompts as quickly as possible, which can be more easily done by providing rewards when your daughter does a step correctly (e.g., when she washes her hands when prompted, she gets a small reward immediately afterwards). Give your daughter the reward directly after the desired behavior so that she makes the connection between the two – and make sure the reward is meaningful to her.

You may find that you need to leave physical reminders (e.g., symbols, written lists) of each activity in the appropriate room. For example, describe all the different steps for brushing teeth in the bathroom – and the same thing for getting dressed in the bedroom. You can download free symbols from www.do2learn.com.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

The Ultimate Autism Solution

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:47:00 +0000

The Ultimate Autism Solution

Mistakes Made When Dealing With Childhood Autism—

The first time a parent is told that their youngster has Autism will be a moment that they never forget. Often, the moment has been preceded by months – or even years – of concern, guilt and even anger as their once happy and outgoing youngster becomes less communicative, less expressive and often less able to control their emotions.

Physical comfort, such as hugs and kisses, that used to soothe your youngster are no longer welcomed and unusual habits and obsessions become an important part of your youngster’s life. As a loving parent, you try everything to draw your youngster back out of the little world they’ve created for themselves, but nothing seems to work.

You talk to doctors, nurses, youngster-care specialists, and positive parenting groups – anyone who can help you find the key to your youngster’s behavior. And finally, it’s confirmed: your youngster is diagnosed with Autism.

But, while it can be a relief to finally discover the reason for your youngster’s difficulties – and to realize that it’s not your fault – a diagnosis of Autism can feel like a life sentence. Moms and dads of kids with Autism experience a wide range of emotions – confusion, resentment, maybe even guilt that they were somehow unable to ‘protect’ their youngster from this condition. Many moms and dads fear for their youngster’s future and feel certain that life will never be normal or enjoyable again.

It is vital at this difficult time in your youngster’s life that you put aside your fears and anger so that you can realize this one important truth: you are the key to your youngster’s future.

Kids, especially kids with Autism, are vulnerable little people and they rely on you, their moms and dads and care-givers, to protect them and do what’s best for them. And, while you can’t protect your youngster from Autism, you can give them the tools they so desperately need to help them to live with the condition and realize the potential that’s locked up inside of them.

BUT – to be able to help your youngster, you need to make sure that you’re ready to work with them in the right way.

Seven dangerous mistakes – easy to make, impossible to undo...

Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed, specializes in helping kids with Autism. Using her twenty years of experience, Arntzen has identified seven dangerous mistakes that moms and dads and care-givers can make when they are faced with a diagnosis of Autism. These mistakes, while easy to make, can halt your youngster’s progress or even undo the steps they’ve taken so far.

• Failing to accept the diagnosis

One of the most common – and natural – responses that most moms and dads have when they learned that their youngster has Autism is to go into a state of denial or shock. Many moms and dads and care-givers don’t really know much about Autism, and what it means for them and their youngster, but it’s important to accept the diagnosis, embrace the diagnosis and work on moving forward with that diagnosis.

Once you accept and understand that Autism is part of your youngster’s life – and part of who they are – you can start working with them to unlock the potential that’s trapped inside them.

• Feeling guilty about your youngster’s condition

While it’s natural for moms and dads and care-givers to want the best for their youngster – and to mourn the loss of their life ‘before’ Autism – it’s important not to let this guilt get in the way of responsible, positive parenting.

Moms and dads who spend their lives feeling guilty about their youngster’s Autism – rather than accepting it as a part of who their youngster is – risk spoiling their youngster as a way of ‘making up’ for the diagnosis. While moms and dads may feel that their Autistic youngster needs to be wrapped up in cotton wool and protected from the world, this dangerous tendency can keep kids with Autism from progressing and can even undo the steps that they’ve taken towards leading their own lives.

Even though your youngster has Autism, it is important to raise them with structure, discipline, challenges and boundaries. Just like any other youngster, a youngster with Autism still needs to be pushed to become independent. Whether it’s doing their own homework, learning to feed and dress themselves or simply communicating their needs to you, your youngster needs to learn how to grow.

Supporting your youngster appropriately from the earliest possible age is crucial. Today, you can learn more about these, and the other, dangerous mistakes and learn how to avoid them. Using this completely FREE webinar by renowned Autism expert Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed, you can be the positive change in your youngster’s life.

Remember: you are the key to your youngster’s future.

Kids with Autism need strong moms and dads and care-givers who will give them love, support, boundaries and structure. While you might still be feeling shell-shocked by your youngster’s diagnosis, it’s time to take action. You can start helping your youngster right now.

Register for your FREE webinar training with Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed now and discover the key to unlocking childhood Autism.

AUTISM: Why Acting Quickly On Your Youngster's Behalf Is Essential - And How to Do It Now—

As incidences of childhood Autism increase, experts are warning moms and dads to act swiftly in the event of early indications in order to ensure the best possible outcome for their kids.

According to a new report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of kids diagnosed with Autism in the United States has increased by an alarming 78% in the last ten years.

Where previously only 1 in 110 American kids was diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum, the latest data indicates that 1 in 88 now has some form of Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

At the current population level, it is estimated that 1,000,000 kids in the United States is on the spectrum.

When questioned on the reason for this startling increase, Autism experts have suggested that better diagnoses, a broader definition of the disorders that make up ‘Autism’ and increased awareness of ASDs account for around 50% of the newly diagnosed cases.

However, that still leaves 50% of cases unaccounted for, which places ASD on an ‘epidemic’ level in the United States.

While the increasing rates of Autism diagnoses vary according to gender and ethnic background, one thing is clear: symptoms typically appear before the age of three and need to be recognized as early as possible to ensure the best possible outcome for the youngster in question.

As Autism is a neuro-developmental disorder that typically leads to impaired language, communication and social skills, early intervention helps to give kids the best chance of a positive outcome.

Sandra Arntzen M.Ed., who works as an Educational, Behavioral and Social Skills Educator for kids with Autism, had this to say about early intervention:

“When a parent or care-giver hears the news that their youngster has Autism, it’s completely normal for that person to experience a wide range of contrasting emotions: anything from fear, confusions, resentment, bereavement or even guilt. While these feelings are completely natural, it’s important that the parent or care-giver puts them to one side as early as possible and focuses on the needs of their youngster. There is every reason to be hopeful about the future of a youngster with Autism, as long as the appropriate support is started early.”

Dr Thomas Frieden, Director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, agrees:

“Early detection is associated with better outcomes. The earlier kids are detected, the earlier they could get services, and the less impairment they’ll have on their learning and in their lives on a long-term basis is our best understanding.”

Anna and her husband, Tom, started to notice some changes in their son’s behavior when he was 15 months old. Harry, who had previously been a contented and chatty toddler, began struggling to calm himself after tantrums and started fixating on the position of the toys in his nursery, throwing screaming fits if they weren’t arranged in a certain way.

He started to reject physical affection and became withdrawn, talking only when he needed to and avoiding eye contact.

While they dreaded the diagnosis, Anna and Tom took Harry to see a pediatric specialist on the recommendation of their personal physician. After conducting a large number of tests, she confirmed that Harry was suffering from Autism.

“So many emotions ran through us”, says Anna. “Fear, anger, confusion and, more than anything, guilt: we felt so guilty that we hadn’t been able to protect Harry from this condition.”

Following a strict behavioral program that is tailored to his specific needs and abilities, Harry is now showing significant progress in terms of his communication and social skills, and is demonstrating an increased awareness of how to manage his emotions in situations that he finds challenging.

And, while at first Anna and Tom struggled to come to terms with the diagnosis, they are pleased that Harry was diagnosed relatively early.

Most Autism diagnoses in the United States are still made when the youngster is between four and five years old. At this stage, the youngster’s brain is substantially more developed – more of the ‘hard-wiring’ has been put in place – and entrenched habits are harder to change.

Possible signs...

A youngster with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder may:

- Repeat actions or motions over and over again, such as rocking back and forth or tapping their hand or foot.

- Avoid direct eye contact and prefer not to have hugs and kisses.

- Not respond when people speak to them, but respond to other sounds around them.

- Not look at objects when someone points to them.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

While there is no known way to prevent occurrences of Autism in kids, it does seem that early intervention is the single agreed method of ensuring the most positive outcome.

Once a diagnosis is made, it is important for care-givers and moms and dads to adhere to a structured behavioral program to give their youngster the best chance of improvement.

Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed., has produced a free webinar for the moms and dads and care-givers of kids on the Autistic Spectrum, which outlines the seven most common mistakes to make when raising a youngster with Autism.

And, while the webinar focuses on these mistakes, the message is undoubtedly a positive one. Arntzen is clear:

“Kids with Autism need strong moms and dads and care-givers who will give them the love, support, boundaries and structure they need. These mistakes are easy to make, but also easy to correct with simple and effective strategies. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these strategies are critically important for ensuring a happy future for a youngster with Autism. My aim is to offer moms and dads and care-givers of kids on the spectrum the clarity and encouragement they need to realize that they’re not alone and that there is hope.”

Register for your FREE webinar training with Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed now.

Overprotecting a Youngster with Autism—

How it all started: Anna’s Story…

My son, Harry, was born on Christmas Eve 2002. Although he was small, he was perfect in every way – with thick, blond hair and piercing blue eyes, he was like a miniature version of my husband, Tom, and we fell in love with him straight away.

Harry was hardly any trouble at all – he was a contented baby, whose sunny personality attracted compliments from everyone who met him. An energetic toddler, his happy chatter filled our lives and he would rush around, talking to everyone he met. He had a wide vocabulary and soon learned to express himself, telling anyone else who would listen what he thought about the world he was exploring.

But, over time, Harry became less chatty. At first, we thought it was a phase. Then, we began to notice more changes: Harry struggled to calm down after his tantrums, which were happening more and more frequently. He couldn’t get to sleep at night and spent hours tidying his toys into rows, only settling one they were all neatly in order.

As Harry’s mom, I tried my best to soothe him, giving him the kisses and cuddles that I thought he needed in a bid to show him how loved he was. But, as time went by, he became anxious, distant and, eventually, untouchable. He reacted violently to the affection that Tom and I would show him, pushing us away and then punishing himself with angry words, scratches, bites and slaps. I tried to reach Harry, to understand what he was experiencing, but he wouldn’t let me in.

“Just after Harry’s second birthday, our Doctor confirmed our fears: Harry was on the Autism Spectrum…”

So many emotions ran through us: fear, anger, confusion and, more than anything, guilt that we hadn’t been able to protect Harry from this condition.

Life after the diagnosis was tough. People who we considered good friends began to avoid us.

They no longer saw a beautiful, intelligent little boy – they only saw the anger and rage when he threw a tantrum. They couldn’t know that, when I looked into his eyes, I saw that my baby was frightened by the world around him and struggling to cope.

Harry didn’t notice the stares and tuts coming from the people around him. Instead, he carried on in his own little world, fulfilling the little rituals and habits that brought him comfort, lining up his toys and humming to himself. But, the uneducated responses and cruel comments from people around us took its toll on me. I felt so incredibly guilty that I couldn’t give Harry the care-free life I so desperately wanted him to have.

“As Harry’s mom, I felt a strong duty to protect him from the outside world, and from other people, who I worried would only see the negative side of his condition.”

Over the next couple of years, I kept Harry close to me as often as possible, turning down the few play-dates we received, rejecting invitations to parenting groups and encouraging him to play at home rather than taking him to the park. I was sure that other moms and dads would look at him and notice the differences in his behavior.

In a bid to keep him from falling behind with all the milestones that other kids were passing, I would help Harry get dressed in the morning, ignoring his anger when I did his buttons up for him because it was taking him too long. At mealtimes, I’d cut his food up into bite-size pieces for him. Eventually, he stopped trying to get dressed or feed himself, and waited for me to do it for him.

It took a heart-to-heart conversation with my husband to make me realize what I was doing was wrong – not just for me, but for Harry. One night, when I had bathed and undressed Harry, cleaned his teeth for him and put him to bed, Tom asked me to come and sit by him in the sitting room. He told me he’d watched a webinar by a childhood Autism specialist, who explained the seven most common – and dangerous – mistakes that moms and dads of kids with Autism can make.

“In the webinar, he discovered that over-protecting Autistic kids can have a serious negative impact on their long-term development.”

Feeling stung by my husband’s words, I finally agreed to watch the webinar with him. I was sure that whoever this so-called ‘expert’ was, she wouldn’t understand the challenges that Harry and I were facing. She wouldn’t know that, when I did Harry’s homework or tied his shoelaces for him, I was trying to help my little boy.

As I watched the webinar, I felt tears well in my eyes. I realized that, by protecting Harry from the world, I’d stopped him from growing into the independent little boy that I wanted him to be. Instead of letting him take on new challenges and celebrating when he did a good job, I did everything for him.

In the webinar, renowned childhood Autism expert Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed., explained how over-protecting kids on the spectrum can stop, or even reverse, their development. Often motivated by feelings of guilt or fear, moms and dads wrap their Autistic kids up in cotton wool and keep them away from challenging experiences that help kids to grow, learn and achieve.

As I listened to Sandra outlining the other six mistakes that moms and dads of kids on the spectrum often make, I felt a sense of relief and comfort.

“After twenty years working with Autistic kids, Sandra understands the difficulties and encourages moms and dads to look forward to their youngster’s future, not back.”

As my wonderful little boy lay sleeping next door, I opened my mind to what Sandra was saying and vowed to let Harry have all the experiences he should have.

While I would be there forever to support him, I would no longer live his life for him…

Raising a youngster with Autism is hard. It’s a long-term commitment but I’ve learned that, by encouraging your youngster to be independent, you can achieve hope, joy and freedom that you didn’t think was possible.

I’d encourage anyone out there to watch the completely FREE webinar by Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed to find out how to unlock your Autistic youngster’s potential starting now. Supporting your youngster appropriately from the earliest possible age is crucial.

Today, you can learn more about the seven most dangerous mistakes, and learn to avoid them.

“Remember: you are the key to your youngster’s future.”

Kids with Autism need strong moms and dads and care-givers who will give them love, support, boundaries and structure. It’s time to take action, and you’re not alone.

“Join Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed for her FREE webinar, and help your youngster become one of the success stories.”

Register for your FREE webinar training with Sandra Arntzen, M.Ed now and discover the key to unlocking childhood Autism.

Helping Aspergers Students Cope with Recess

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 13:57:00 +0000

"My son’s teacher told me that he gets nervous and often goes into a meltdown at recess time. During recess, the students usually either go to the gym or outside for 'free-time' recreation. How can I help him deal with this transition and the unstructured nature of 'free-time', thus avoiding a meltdown?"

Recess is a time when students traditionally run-off their stress, but this transition can be very challenging for a student with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism. Students are given instructions, rules and a timetable to guide them through the rest of the day, but recess is rather unstructured, and it can be difficult for Aspergers students to know what to do during this time. Playgrounds are also often noisy and crowded places, with lots of children running around screaming and talking loudly. This can be daunting for a special needs youngster who is not aware of the "hidden" social rules of recess.

Here are some suggestions that may help your son overcome his difficulties with recess:

1. Some playgrounds have buddy benches for kids who are having difficulty making friends, or having a hard day. Decorations or signs should distinguish a buddy bench from other benches in the playground. Other kids are appointed as buddies and given a badge to wear to indicate who they are. Their job is to keep an eye out for anyone sitting on the buddy bench who feels sad or lonely and needs someone to cheer them up. A buddy can chat to them on the bench, or invite them to play a game. Having a number of kids share the buddy role will ensure that any youngster using the buddy bench socializes with different kids and does not become too reliant on one peer.

2. Some schools use break time to teach social skills to Aspergers kids, which can be done by using approaches such as circle of friends. The four main goals of this approach are to: (1) create a support network for the Aspergers youngster; (2) provide the youngster with encouragement and recognition for any achievements and progress; (3) work with the youngster to identify difficulties and devise practical ideas to help deal with these difficulties; and (4) help to put these ideas into practice. Your son might benefit from his school adopting such an approach.

3. Long periods of time in the playground may also challenge your son. Perhaps the school could agree that he only has to play on the playground for the first half of the period – and if he is successful during this time, he could be rewarded with quiet time in the library or time on the computer? This would need to be structured so your son knows what the activity is and where to go.

4. Setting up a number of different playground games that everyone moves around will bring some structure to recess, as well as reducing boredom from playing one game for the whole playground time. There are a number of websites suggesting playground games, many of which have video clips which you could watch with your son so she knows what to expect in different games. Your son could also have some tasks to do during recess (e.g., handing out basketballs, picking up trash on the playground, etc.), which would add further structure to his recess time. However, take care that this is not seen as a form of discipline and does not set him apart from his classmates too much.

5. Relaxation techniques could also help your son to recognize and reduce his anxiety before it becomes overwhelming. Techniques might include:

breathing deeply
counting to ten
jumping on a trampoline
kicking a ball
punching a punching bag
stretching

There are a number of books that help Aspergers kids learn how to identify stress and teach relaxation techniques.

6. Your son could indicate his nervousness to the teacher by using a help card or a visual stress scale (e.g., traffic light scale, thermometer, 1-5 scale, etc.). Stress scales can be used as a secret code between the student and his teacher, which might be useful if your son does not want to draw attention from his classmates. If your son indicates that he is at the high end of the stress scale, there should be a quiet place that he can go to calm down (e.g., in the library). He may also want to cut-out external noise by listening to music.

7. Your son might find school recess especially difficult because one-to-one "staff monitors" often take their own breaks at this time. However, if your son no longer needs support in certain lessons, but is experiencing high anxiety during break times, it’s possible that the hours could be restructured so that his monitor is with him during recess. Check with school officials to see what can be done.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

Aspergers Children and Biting

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:11:00 +0000

Understanding the developmental factors that contribute to biting behavior in children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can help moms and dads make environmental or programmatic changes as necessary to minimize the behavior. Guidance to kids who bite should be provided with the goal of helping them develop inner control of their feelings and actions. A quick and consistent response at home can help kids who bite learn to express their feelings in words so that they can become better able to control their behavior.

Why Do Children With Aspergers and HFA Resort To Biting?

1. An attempt to gain sensory input: Many Aspergers children experience sensory difficulties, so it can be helpful to consider the possible sensory functions of particular behaviors. Chewing and biting are proprioceptive activities (i.e., they provide sensory input to the proprioceptive system, which regulates what different parts of the body are doing at different times). Biting can also provide oral stimulation and may provide pleasant or even necessary stimulation to this sensory system.

2. Communication difficulties: For children who may not be able to communicate their wants, needs, and emotional states effectively, biting can be an extremely effective way of letting parents know that something is not right, and is therefore a very useful and powerful form of communication.

3. Developmental stages: The mouthing of objects is a normal part of development. Very young kids put various objects in their mouths to explore the size, shape, and texture of the objects. This normally becomes a problem if the youngster continues to mouth objects frequently past the age of 18 months or so. However, a youngster who missed the initial mouthing phase due to sensitivity in the mouth area or medical issues may have to go through this phase later.

4. Frustration or distress: Sometimes biting can be an expression of sheer frustration or distress in response to a range of different stressors and challenging situations. It is important to remember that life can be exceptionally overwhelming at times for kids with Aspergers and HFA, and that sometimes, the child may engage in a behavior that is a response to this.

5. Learned behavior: Children learn from experiences that they have had, and they use this information to determine how to behave in the future. If they find that behaving in a particular way brings about a good outcome, then they are more likely to behave that way again in the future. Some children might also appreciate the physical or emotional reaction of others in response to biting. The child may enjoy the sound of a raised voice or the sense of control created by behaving in a way which brings a predictable reaction from parents.

6. Toothache or jaw pain: In some cases, biting may be a response to physical pain, in particular tooth or jaw ache.

What Can Parents Do About Biting?

1. Anger management and relaxation training: Some children with Aspergers and HFA may experience difficulties managing emotions (e.g., stress, anxiety, frustration, etc.), which may lead to behavioral outbursts like biting. It is helpful for these children to learn how to identify the physical cues or bodily sensations which indicate that they are becoming agitated, and then to develop alternative, more appropriate activities to assist them to calm down. For example:

• aromatherapy

• asking for help

• counting to ten

• going for a walk

• jumping on a trampoline

• listening to music

• playing on a computer

• swinging

• taking a bath

• taking a few deep breaths

• thinking positive thoughts

• walking away from the scene

• …and any other type of redirection to pleasant, calming activities

2. “Chewables” are cylindrical pieces of rubber tubing (non-toxic, washable and latex-free) that can be sucked or chewed on and provide good resistance for children who need the sensory input provided by biting. Research has shown that “chewables” appear to provide a calming, focusing and organizing function and act as a release for stress. Alternatively, parents may put together a bag of items that provide a range of sensory experiences (e.g., raw pasta, dried fruit, etc.), which the child can be re-directed to.

3. Communication difficulties: Encourage your child to use alternative forms of communication (e.g., visual signs or symbols). Use a range of symbols that he/she can carry around to communicate basic needs (e.g., 'yes', 'no', 'stop', 'go away - I need space', 'I’m in pain', etc.).

4. Environmental modifications: Try to plan for situations that the child finds challenging and make necessary adjustments to the environment. For example:

• increasing structure through the use of timetables or schedules

• maintaining familiar routines where possible

• minimizing unpleasant sensory stimuli

• reducing the number of people

5. Frustration or distress: Frequently remind your child of anger-management and relaxation techniques – especially when he is calm.

6. Functional analysis: Finding the cause of why your child bites is critical in determining the best way of responding to the behavior. For example, if the biting is an expression of frustration, the focus of intervention will be on teaching the child alternative and more appropriate ways of coping with frustration. A good way of determining why a child may be engaging in a particular behavior is to keep a record of behavioral incidents. Some children may be able to communicate their reasons for biting, either verbally or through the use of visual strategies.

7. Improve communication: Assist the child to develop alternative, more appropriate ways of communicating his/her wants, needs, physical discomfort and emotional states. Visual strategies can be very effective, because they can be used in a broad range of situations – and are particularly useful for indicating physical pain or communicating emotional states. Also, social stories can also be helpful in describing why it is not appropriate to bite and by outlining what the child is able to do instead.

8. Increase sensory opportunities: If the child is biting to gain sensory input, then it is important to provide alternative and more appropriate ways of meeting this need.

9. Reinforce appropriate behavior: It is important to pay attention to instances of behavior that you want to encourage to help the child learn that other, more appropriate ways of behaving lead to positive outcomes. Rewards can take the form of:

• preferred activities

• small amounts of favorite foods or drinks

• tokens

• toys

• verbal praise and attention

Clearly name the behavior that you are rewarding, and ensure that rewards are provided immediately after the behavior that you wish to encourage.

10. Respond quickly and consistently to incidents of behavior: Keep responses to biting behavior to a minimum by limiting verbal comments, facial expressions and other displays of emotion (these may inadvertently reinforce the behavior). Speak calmly and clearly and keep facial expressions neutral.

11. Rule out medical and dental causes: Ensure that the child is not biting as a response to physical pain (e.g., toothache or jaw ache). Arrange a check-up with the dentist to rule out any possible physical causes for the behavior.

12. Sensory issues: Re-direct the child to alternative sensory activity such as “chewables” or a “bag of tricks” with edible items. Also, redirect the child to another activity, and praise the first occurrence of appropriate behavior. Maintain physical space and closely supervise the child following an incident of biting.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums

Coping With Difficult Child-Behavior: Tips for Parents of Aspergers Children

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:47:00 +0000

"My Aspergers child’s behavior is often very difficult to understand. And since I don’t really understand a lot of his behavior, it makes it difficult to think of an intervention to change it. Why does he over-react to certain things (e.g., flipping into an intense temper tantrum when asked to put his Legos away -- even when I ask him nicely), and what can I do to help?"

There is a range of reasons why kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have difficulties with behavior. The world can be a confusing, isolating and daunting place for your youngster, and it is his fundamental difficulties with communication and social interaction that are often the root cause of difficult behavior. There are some other possible reasons, too.

It's important to say that your youngster's behavior is not caused by bad parenting – and is not your fault. It may seem as though your youngster's difficult behavior is only directed at you - especially if it tends to happen at home, not at school. You are not the only parent in this situation, although sometimes it can feel that way.

Reasons for behavior:

1. Bullying— Unfortunately, kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can be at more risk of being bullied than their peers. If you notice a sudden change in your youngster’s behavior, see if there has been any reported bullying or teasing in school. Your youngster may find it difficult to tell you if they have been bullied (not all kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism even recognize what bullying is) so you might need to play detective.

2. Change— Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can find it difficult to cope with change, whether a temporary change to their timetable at school, or a more permanent change such as moving house. You may find that your youngster's behavior alters at times of change, but settles as he/she becomes used to a new environment or routine.

3. Communication— Kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can experience a number of difficulties with communication: (a) understanding what's being said to them (i.e., receptive language), (b) understanding non-verbal communication (e.g., facial expressions, body language), and (c) communicating with others (i.e., expressive language). Because of these difficulties, Aspergers kids can find it hard to communicate their needs or to understand what other people are saying to them, or asking them to do. This can cause considerable frustration and anxiety which, if it can't be expressed any other way, may result in challenging behavior.

4. Medical reasons— If your youngster's behavior suddenly changes for the worse, check that there isn't a medical reason for the distress. Kids can find it difficult to tell parents how they're feeling or where something hurts, even if their verbal communication is generally good. Some kids have seizures that can cause irritability and confusion, or gastrointestinal problems which may be painful. Parents can try using a pain chart to help the youngster indicate where he/she is feeling discomfort. Alternatively, some moms and dads use symbols to help their youngster indicate where the pain is.

5. Sensory processing difficulties— Many kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have difficulties processing sensory information. For example, kids may not be able to manage some tastes or food textures, or find that someone touching them - even lightly - is painful. Certain smells, lights or sounds can be distressing. Some kids may find it difficult to block-out background noise and what they experience as excessive visual information. Instead, sounds, lights and other sights are all processed at the same level of intensity and lead to sensory overload. You may find that your youngster starts a repetitive behavior in stressful environments (e.g., hand-flapping, spinning) to try and block-out external sensory information. Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can be very sensitive to subtle changes in their environment. If there's a sudden change in behavior, think about whether there has been a recent change in the environment.

6. Social situations— Communication difficulties can impact on how Aspergers kids deal with social situations. They may find social situations very demanding or stressful because they have to work hard to communicate with other people. Not all kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism will understand that other people hold different views from theirs. This may also make social situations difficult. Kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism may not understand 'social rules' (i.e., unwritten rules that govern social situations), such as how close to stand to other people or how to take a turn in conversation. This is especially true if kids find themselves in a new, unfamiliar situation. Therefore, social situations can be daunting and unpredictable. Some kids may engage in a particular behavior to try and avoid social contact.

7. Unstructured time— Kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can find 'sequencing' difficult (i.e., putting what is going to happen in a day in a logical order in their mind). Many kids have timetables so they can see what is going to happen, when, and plan for it. However, unstructured time (e.g., break times at school), which can be noisy and chaotic, may be difficult to deal with. This is because it's difficult for kids to predict what will happen and how they are expected to behave. You may find that behavioral difficulties occur more in transition times between lessons or activities. Abstract concepts such as time aren't easy to understand, and kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism may find it hard to wait. It helps if you can be clear about why and for how long you are waiting (e.g., “We have to wait for five minutes, until 10.30. This is because the doctor can see us at 10.30.”).

Your child behaves the way he does for a particular reason...

In other words, he is trying to accomplish something (or avoid something). Here are two questions to ask yourself when looking at a particular aspect of your youngster's behavior:

What is the function of this behavior?
What is my youngster trying to tell me by his behavior?

Think of your child’s behavior as an iceberg. The behavior you are actually seeing is the tip of the iceberg, but there's a lot more going on under the surface. Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can't always express their feelings through facial expressions, body language or speech. Instead, they may be expressed through other behaviors. Your youngster might be trying to tell you she is tired, stressed, annoyed by something that happened earlier, or in need of some time alone.

It can be useful to use a behavior diary to try and find out what triggers a particular behavior. This helps you to monitor the behavior over time and see what the possible causes are (e.g., if always happens at the end of the day when your youngster is tired after school). One way of recording behavior is an ABC chart. On this, you record the Antecedent (i.e., what happened beforehand, who was there, where your youngster was), the Behavior itself, and the Consequence (i.e., what happened following the behavior). By identifying potential triggers for the behavior, it can be easier to come up with ways of preventing it from happening in the future. Interventions are more likely to be successful if they address either the cause or the function of the behavior.

When trying to tackle behavioral difficulties, select at the most two behaviors to focus on at a time. Using too many new strategies with your youngster at once may result in none of them working. You could write down all the behaviors you're concerned about then prioritize them, choosing the two most important ones to concentrate on first. Don't worry if things get worse before they get better. Your youngster might at first resist change. This is a normal reaction when kids want things to stay the same and try hard to see that they do. It's important to continue with the strategies you are using and be consistent.

Ways to deal with behavior problems:

1. Be patient. Your youngster's behavior generally won't change overnight. You may find it useful to track your youngster's behavior in a diary; then it may be easier to notice small, positive changes.

2. Check that skills have not been forgotten. If you have used strategies successfully in the past, it might help to revisit them from time to time so that your youngster remembers how to use them. You may also need to use them at periods of stress, illness or change when old behaviors can return. Visual supports can help with this.

3. Consistency is of the utmost importance. Whatever strategies you decide to use to help your youngster should be used by everyone involved with him, including other family members, teachers, babysitters, etc. Inconsistent reactions to behavior by different adults can cause confusion, stress and frustration for a child with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism, and can make the behavior more difficult to tackle.

4. Exercise can help to relieve stress and frustration. Some studies have shown that regular exercise throughout the day can have a positive effect on general behavior. Many kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism enjoy exercise like jumping on a trampoline.

5. Give praise where praise is due. As your youngster learns a new skill or coping strategy, give him/her as much praise as possible. Some kids like verbal praise. Others might prefer to get another kind of reward, like sticker on a star chart, or five minutes with their favorite activity or DVD. Try to give your youngster praise in a way that is meaningful. Try also to offer praise immediately after your youngster has demonstrated a skill. Your youngster will hopefully learn to make an association between the skill and the reward and start to use the skill more often.

6. Learn to identify emotions. Many children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism find it difficult not only to understand how others are feeling, but also how they feel themselves. Emotions are abstract concepts, and we need a degree of imagination to understand them (we can't simply 'see' anger, for example). There are ways to turn emotions into more 'concrete' concepts, though. For example, stress scales are a good way of helping kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism to identify how they're feeling. You can use a traffic light system, visual thermometer, or a scale of 1-5 to present emotions as colors or numbers. For example, a green traffic light or a number 1 can mean 'I am calm' …a red traffic light or a number 5 can mean 'I am angry'. You need to help your youngster understand what 'angry' means. One way to do this is to refer to physical changes in the body (e.g., “When I'm angry, my tummy hurts/my face gets red/I want to cry”). When your youngster has begun to understand the extremes of angry and calm, you can start helping him/her to understand the feelings in between. If your youngster sees that he is getting angry, he can try to do something to calm himself down, or he can remove himself from the situation. Alternatively, other adults can see what is happening and take action.

7. Learn to relax. It can be very difficult for kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism to relax. Some have a particular interest or activity they like to do because it helps them to relax. It is, of course, worth being aware of these. Can time doing their favorite activity be built into their daily routine? However, special interests or activities can sometimes be the cause of behavioral difficulties if a youngster can't do them when he wants to. Other ways to relax include having time alone for short periods of the day to unwind, playing soothing music, or using homeopathic remedies. Some children may find lights soothing, especially things like spinning lights or bubble tubes which are repetitive.

8. Modify the environment. Kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can have difficulties processing sensory information. Some things in their environment can act as severe irritants. If this is the case, it can be easier to remove the thing that might be irritating your youngster rather than trying to change a behavior pattern. Flickering fluorescent lights, humming noises, certain smells, etc., may be causing distress. It may be something you have hardly noticed at all, while your youngster experiences it much more intensely.

9. Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism can find it difficult to transfer or generalize new skills they've learned from one situation to another. Encourage your youngster to use new skills or coping strategies in different situations (e.g., at school as well as at home).

10. Punishment for Aspergers-related symptoms (versus true misbehavior) rarely works, because many kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism don't understand the connection between their behavior and a punishment they have received. Also, punishment won't explain what you want from your youngster or help to teach him any new skills.

11. Speak clearly and precisely. Some behavioral difficulties arise from kids’ frustration at not being able to communicate what they want. Some kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have a good grasp of language and speak quite fluently. However, they may struggle to tell you something when they are anxious or upset, or find it difficult to understand what you are saying to them. As a general rule, use short sentences, with your youngster's name at the beginning so that they know you're speaking to them. If you use short, clear sentences, your youngster won’t have to try to filter-out the less important information. If your youngster finds spoken communication difficult, consider using alternative ways of communicating (e.g., visual supports).

12. 'Time-outs' are a way for your youngster to calm down, especially if environmental factors are causing distress. Whatever location your youngster goes to should be a calm, safe environment where she can be observed. This should only last a few minutes, and your youngster should then be directed to an activity she finds relaxing. Some kids have time-out at home, perhaps time alone in their bedroom, or the chance to do a favorite activity.

13. Use visual supports. Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism often find it easier to process visual information. Some kids use picture symbols or photos to communicate what they want, while others use sign language. Using a visual timetable can make it easier for a youngster to understand what's going to happen throughout the day. It also gives a sense of routine, which kids with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism usually like, and removes feelings of uncertainty.

14. When tackling any behavior, be realistic and set achievable goals. You don't want to cause yourself more frustration by feeling you've failed to meet unachievable goals.

15. Write a social story. Social stories are short descriptions of situations, events or activities, often with pictures, which include information about what to expect in that situation and why. They can give a youngster with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism some idea of how others might behave, and therefore be a guide for appropriate behavior.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums

Single-Parenting Children With Aspergers/High-Functioning Autism

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Hutten) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:18:00 +0000

One of the most difficult roles a mother or father will ever assume is that of the single parent. It doesn't matter how you arrived at that point – divorced, widowed, or single by choice – it is a daily challenge. When a mother or father is a single parent and there is a youngster with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) to care for, the challenges can make life feel like a true test of endurance, but it can be done. It does take more effort and organization, however.

Although raising children always has challenges, single parenting a child with Aspergers or HFA can be extremely stressful – as well as rewarding. Finding solutions to most of the problems is the first step toward keeping the parent from feeling overwhelmed. Almost every problem has a solution. The real trick to success as a single parent is not losing yourself in the parenting process. There are some issues that every single parent needs to be aware. Working on the solutions before they become problems can greatly reduce parental stress.

Tips for single parents with Aspergers and HFA children:

1. Arm yourself with information. Read everything you can about your youngster’s disorder. Most libraries have a parenting section with books on raising kids with special needs. The Internet also offers a broad spectrum of information on nearly every type of disorder. Websites, chat rooms, and the like are tremendous sources of information about conditions, treatments, and medications that are up-to-the-minute. Also, many of the websites that focus on childhood disorders will mail information to parents for free or for a very nominal charge. Be sure to consult your youngster’s doctor regarding the information you find. Being informed is the best offense in managing the daily and long-term challenges of parenting a youngster with Aspergers. Know what you need and pursue it.

2. Avoid being competitive with your ex. It won’t get you anywhere. You may not be able to compete with taking the children to Disney World. But children don’t necessarily love the one who gives the bigger presents more.

3. Be your youngster’s best advocate. No one can - or will ever - care more about a youngster and his/her well-being than the parent(s). As such, it is squarely on the parents’ shoulders to fight for the best information, treatment, doctors, and options that exist. Familiarize yourself with the law. Every parent has to be his/her own researcher.

4. Consider a pet. If you don’t have one, think of getting one. It takes the focus away and puts it on something else. Animals spread love around.

5. Control your reactions. Your Aspergers youngster may push your buttons, but giving big reactions to bad behavior may send the wrong message. Showing that you can control your feelings and avoid meltdowns yourself models appropriate behavior for your Aspie, and leaves you feeling better, too.

6. Don’t block your feelings. Recognize that ALL your feelings are normal. Be sad. Be mad. It’s only natural.

7. Don’t play the blame game. Your youngster’s disorder is not your fault, nor is your spouse to blame. It does no good to look for someone to focus your anger on. Pointing your finger at your spouse or his medical or family history is not productive and can be extremely hurtful. You will need to lean on one another for support, and blame can only damage your relationship.

8. Everyone needs a social life, and a single parent of a youngster with Aspergers is no exception. In addition to caring for your son or daughter, you may be working full time, meeting the needs of your other kids, and taking care of the home, which leaves you little free time. You may have other obligations, too (e.g., school, church, community activities, etc.). Fatigue takes on a new meaning, and having social interaction outside the home is so far on the back-burner it is hard to remember what it was like to “have a life.” Nonetheless, it is important to carve-out some time in your schedule for fun social activities (e.g., hiking, biking, dancing, card games, movies, eating out, etc.). The key is having fun interaction with other adults. Grown-ups who do not spend time with their “buddies” begin to resent their schedule, their lives, and possibly their kids. It is normal to feel that way, and the best way to avoid the problem is to schedule time to socialize.

9. Find some kind of support group. If you can’t find it in your community, you can find one online. You have to make a concerted effort to start to build your new family based on reciprocity and support. It can also help to start building self-esteem. You realize you are not the only one.

10. Focus on personal growth. So much of being a parent takes an emotional and physical toll on you that you have to get out and do something for yourself on an ongoing basis. Try an activity that you never did or go back to something you gave up in your marriage (e.g., rediscovered the love of hiking, or learn how to play a musical instrument). Put yourself out there. Try anything creative.

11. Focus on stress management. When harried and stressed, single parents often find themselves less able to connect with their kids or focus at work, which may lead to acting-out behavior by the children, time-consuming mistakes at work, and other things that increase stress for the parent and his/her family. Therefore, taking a proactive stance on stress management is quite important. Having several quick stress relievers on hand (e.g., breathing exercises, reframing techniques, having different/positive ways of looking at a stressful situation, etc.), as well as long-term stress management strategies in place (e.g., regular exercise, meditation, a hobby, a supportive social circle, etc.) can relieve significant stress for single parents.

12. Hopefully you have been able to create a good working relationship with your ex for the benefit of your youngster. If not, and the sparks fly very time you see each other, it would be wise to consult a counselor. Even if the relationship with your ex has no chance in the world of being civil, there needs to be a peaceful environment for the youngster.

13. Kids with Aspergers may seem to be unaware of the environment around them, but they usually are much more in tune with the emotions of others than it appears. If the moms and dads are arguing or fighting, the youngster is apt to act-out with defiant behaviors. The grown-ups in the situation, by keeping their own tempers, can prevent this. Remember that although your relationship may be over, the relationship both of you have with your youngster is not.

14. Know that you are not alone. Having an Aspergers or HFA youngster can feel very isolating. It’s easy to stay home and think that you are the only one dealing with that situation. Seek out support groups. Form your own groups, if none exist.

15. Learn to enjoy your own company. It may have never occurred to you when you were married that you could actually enjoy your own company. You can do that. Don’t date too soon. You can fall in love too quickly. You can’t be a great parent unless you are a great person.

16. Minimize the tough times. Holidays are hard when you don’t have your special needs child because he or she is visiting the other parent, so make a plan. Know you will feel bad – and know it will end.

17. Move your bedroom to a different room in your house. Make the old one a study or kid’s play room. Redecorate to reflect your individual tastes and make the house more of your home.

18. One major advantage that married couples have is companionship. There’s nothing like being with a spouse who knows and understands the daily problems you encounter. Having someone you can vent your frustrations to keeps one mentally healthy. It is human nature to want to share. If you don't have anyone in your life that you can share your feelings with on a daily basis, work at developing friendships that are true give-and-take relationships. A local support group that includes single parents might be helpful. Some support groups have a network of parents who are on “phone duty” that you can call at any time when you need to talk or vent your emotions.

19. Sometimes, ex in-laws can become a problem for you. A direct approach to the grandparents may not be welcome. If you find yourself in this situation, begin by bringing the matter to the attention of your ex, who may be willing to intervene on your behalf. If your ex refuses to support you in this matter, limit your interaction with the grandparents as much as possible. While they have every right to see their grandchild, you can and should limit your own time with them for your own sanity.

20. You can never take a day off from being a parent, and you may not be able to take a day off from work whenever you like, but there are things you can give yourself a day off from. Next time you're feeling particularly stressed, messed up, tired out or done in, declare a day off from:

Being behavior cop
Being SuperMom or SuperDad
Caring what other people think
Doing research
Fighting battles
Filling out forms
Handling details
Holding it in
Knowing it all
Making appointments
Making phone calls
Multitasking
Planning ahead
Saying the right thing
Serving as case manager
Solving problems
Working out
Worrying

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook