MBFBY? - restaurant & pub reviews in That London

Pho, Wardour St, Soho

Mon, 28 May 2012 10:54:00 +0100

I usually start my reviews with a little story of how I came to be eating at the restaurant in question or maybe even a small rant about some annoying new culinary fad, but in this case I was asked if I’d like to review Pho by their PR, so I’ll get straight to it. Tally ho!

It’s busy. It’s Wednesday. You can’t book. It’s Soho, what are you expecting? Of course. Silly me. Pho is part of a small Vietnamese ‘street food’ chain. I’ve had their take-away for lunch a few times, thought it was pretty decent so was looking forward to seeing what else they had to offer.

The room and the bar area are full, we’re left hanging round the crowded bar wondering what’s going on and how we get our name down for a table. A member of staff steps in, gets us some drinks and after a short wait we are perched on some stools at a bench-type table. Prepare to get close to your neighbours - Pho is a perfectly cosy, low-lit space but they cram you into every nook, cranny and crevice. I realise there was no need to use the word ‘crevice’ there but come on, it’s a pretty fantastic word.

Perversely, the waiter recommended a beer from Laos rather than Vietnam (BeerLao) and very good it was too. Crisp but with a slightly more malty flavour than something like Chang or Tsing Tao.

To kick things off I had Ban Xeo Tom Ga - these are thick fried crepes filled with prawns, chicken and bean sprouts. At first I though it was a bit fiddly to eat as the crepe is kind of like a giant crisp so you can’t wrap anything it in but then it was pointed out it that it comes with loads of large salad leaves in which to wrap the filling. I liked this dish, the crepes had a nice slightly chewy texture, and the leaf parcels were zingy and perfect for dipping in the little bowl of fish sauce-type stuff.

Mrs MBFBY? had prawn summer rolls. These were light and refreshing but we found them rather bland - until we smothered them in various potent sauces. They had a great texture but could have done with an additional element rather than sauce on the side.

For main it would have been rude not to have the pho, so I had the pho. It was a wonderful, huge aromatic spicy soup with rice noodles and beef meatballs floating around in it. It came with some tiny slices of chilli on the side which I was warned about but being a REAL MAN, obviously I chucked the lot in and spent the next 20 mins feeling quite light headed. I should have probably had a sit down and some sugary tea to bring me round but I just killed it with more beer instead. WARNING - DO NOT PUT THOSE CHILLIS DIRECTLY ONTO YOUR TONGUE. It will leave an intense, focused burning on you taste buds that will not go away for 45 mins. I would absolutely recommend this dish to blast out a cold.

Mrs MBFBY? went for lemongrass beef bun noodles, which was tasty (though not as full-on as the pho). Plenty of moist beef with a spring roll on the side, covered in crunchy peanuts. It’s an easy-going dish - the noodles are served at room temperature and you mix it all together to get the best out of it. Go for this if you want to play it safe.

Dessert was a winner - we shared an utterly filthy deep fried banana fritter with honey and ginger ice cream. There’s not much else to say about it apart from the fact that deep-fried desserts are usually awesome, simply because they mix sugar and batter.

To finish us off (literally) we had a couple of shots of super-strength rice wine. The Nep Fu Loc (the lighter one) was mellow and a decent palate-cleanser but the Nhat Da (the dark one) was HARDCORE. It certainly aided with digestion but I can’t say I liked it very much. It had an intense, sour taste.

So, I liked Pho. It’s informal, it’s good value (especially for me on this occasion, thanks to the PR company) and the snappy service means you could be in and out pretty quickly, making it a great place to grab some interesting food before going on somewhere else. It’s not a place to linger, but then this isn’t what they are trying to encorage. To borrow a phrase which I used on Twitter last week when contributing to the #smalltownrestaurantreviews hashtag japes, “I’ve never been to Vietnam, but it tasted pretty authentic to me”.

Pho
163-165 Wardour St
London
W1F 8WN

020 7434 3938

http://www.phocafe.co.uk/

Google Map

Brunswick House Cafe, Vauxhall

Mon, 14 May 2012 16:49:37 +0100

When reviewing somewhere that isn’t in Soho or Mayfair, it’s customary to write as if you’ve been forced to travel to the end of the earth in search of you artisan brunch. “In the vast wastelands of Vauxhall a beacon doth shine from the smog” etc.

I’m not going to do that as there’s actually quite a lot going on in Vauxhall (the cricket, the epicentre of London’s gay scene, Mi6 and Jeffery Archer’s flat to name but a few) and Vauxhall is actually ridiculously easy to get to as it’s got a main-line station one stop from Waterloo and is on the Victoria line.

So if someone invites you to brunch in Vauxhall then shut up with your whinging and get down there as you’ll be missing out on a treat if you don’t. I’d been wanting to go to Brunswick House for ages so when Mrs MBFBY? and I arranged to meet our friend Julene for a leisurely Saturday lunch I booked up a table. Booking is certainly advisable.

Brunswick House Cafe is located inside Lassco architectural salvage yard, perched on the roundabout just across from Vauxhall station. It’s a genuinely amazing location; Lassco is full of old roadsigns, statues, doors, antique furniture and an incredible collection of reclaimed lights. Everything is for sale, including the tables and chairs your are are dining on. I’ve got my eye on the giant bug sprayer, personally. The dining room is in what used to be a theatre complete with stage. If this was in Shoreditch, it would be absolutely rammed with a queue out of the door. Thankfully it’s not, and it’s nicely full. Refreshingly, the tables are actually spaced out sensibly giving everyone plenty of room (these days in London so many tables are usually crammed into a room you might as well be on a table for 18). Not sure if it’s like this all the time, maybe they had a busy morning at the salvage yard and someone bought half the tables…

The Brunswick House Cafe normally has a full lunch and dinner menu but on weekends they have a brunch menu which is decidedly more breakfast-y. As I’m bang on-trend I went for the Reuben. This is done completely differently to a regular Ruben and all the better for it: it’s served open-faced on bread fried in beef dripping. BREAD FRIED IN BEEF DRIPPING. The meat iself was salt beef, and what a great example of salt beef it was too. Juicy, falling apart, smothered in mustard and the fat was delicious and melt-in-the-mouth. Sorry Mishkins, you’ve been pipped.

As I obviously hadn’t had enough of food which had been fried, I went for the rhubarb and cream doughnut for dessert. This is a simple dish comprising of rhubarb, cream and, erm, a doughnut. It was very enjoyable, the doughnut was spot-on and the rhubarb tart with a little bit of sweetness. More doughnuts in desserts, please.

Service was smiley, efficient and wonderful in every way. The whole experience was very English; civilised, surrounded by antiquities, faded grandeur and unexpected treats. I highly recommend Brunswick House, it’s was perfect for our slightly boozy Saturday brunch (they do Meantime beer and a short, good value wine list). I can’t wait to go back at night and try the dinner menu and maybe pick up that giant bug sprayer and a church pew or two…

9/10

Brunswick House Cafe
30 Wandsworth Rd
London
SW8 2LG

Google Map

MEATmarket - Jubilee Market, Covent Garden

Thu, 03 May 2012 10:23:00 +0100

MEAT. IN A MARKET. MEATmarket. No messing around here. For their second venture in 6 months, the MEATLiquor team have gone back to basics. Utilitarian, stripped-down, situated on the mezzanine floor above Covent Garden’s less salubrious market. Judging by the old menus on the stairwell, the space was previously occupied by a particularly low-end Chinese restaurant. Jubilee Market, it’s called, and I can only assume they picked this location as their way of showing respect to Brenda in her Diamond year. Crowns off to you, chaps.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I found out about their plans for a second location but this wasn’t it. This is proper fast food. There’s a few high tables and stools, no table service: you place your order at the till and they shout out your name when it’s done, which was bloody quick when we were there, even though it was press night and they’d only done one previous full service. The kitchen is huge, like McDonalds. Obviously having learned a lesson from the ridiculous queues at the mothership they are clearly aiming to shift high volumes with a quick turnover. Nowt wrong with that. This is a burger joint, after all.

At MEATmarket they have a pared-down food and booze menu with a few new surprises. First up - the Black Palace burger. This slab of pure filth takes two beef patties, some American cheese and a mixture of onions and gherkins all steamed together into a glorious gooey mess. This is the most full-on burger they’ve done (there’s no way you could do two), and like most palaces it’s a glorious thing of majestic beauty. Apparantly it’s an homage to the US chain White Castle Burger. See what they did there?

They’ve also introduced a brand new menu of hot dogs. I went for the RIPPER, which is a bacon-wrapped ‘dawg covered in crunchy bacon bits and onions (on a base of ketchup and French’s mustard, obviously). This is a superior quality wurst. Thick, juicy and a good amount of pop. I think it might actually pip Big Apple Hot Dogs, though I’ll have to do a side-by-side comparison to make my mind up properly. Answers on a postcard if anyone can suggest the best way to achieve this. The bun is basically the hot dog equivalent to the burger bun - light but chewy. Great stuff.

On the side we had the fries (same as MEATLiqour) and yet another new addition - deep fried jalapeño and cheese poppers. Yep, you guessed it, these were bloody good too.

Booze-wise they’ve got cans of Vedett and Hard Shakes - thick shakes with booze in. They are certainly tasty but one is enough - any more and you might be chucking your Black Palace on to the head of an unsuspecting market trader below. At current exchange rates a Hard Shake is more expensive than Mia Wallace’s Five Dollar Shake. Judging by the ones I tried (Vanilla with rum, Chocolate with Mozart liqueur) I think Mrs Wallace would approve.

So, sorry to write such a predictable glowing review but they’ve taken what they’ve learned at MEATLiquor, developed it, trimmed the fat (from the operation at least, certainly not from the food) and opened up an establishment dedicated to getting you high quality premium US ‘junk’ food as quickly as possible. Proper fast food. This is a place to hit late at night after a few drinks, gorge yourself on a sloppy burger, knock back a Hard Shake then fall asleep on the bus.

I have two reservations (not that anywhere takes them nowadays) :

1. Will they be able to keep up the quality with such a quick turnover?

2. Will there still be epic queues, such is the rabid desire for quality burgers at the moment?

Time will tell. On the strength of this preview I think they are going to do very well indeed. Having seen the setup first hand, I can’t help but think they’re going to roll it out to quite a few more sites at some point soon. I’m not going to give it a score as it was a freebie and they ain’t even open yet (they open tomorrow I believe) but you can probably tell that I think it’s pretty damn good. Go out, get drunk, stagger to Covent Garden and get yourself some MEAT.

MEATmarket
Tavistok St
London
WC2E 8BD

Google Map

Goodman, Maddox St, London

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:44:00 +0100

“Heifer whines could be human cries, closer comes the screaming knife, this beautiful creature must die, this beautiful creature must die”, sang Morrissey in the mid-80s. Unfortunately Mozza wasn’t demanding the beautiful creature be slaughtered to make quality dry-aged steaks, he was making a passionate plea to the trenchcoat-wearing hoards of 1985 to reject the carnivorous ways that are the norm in this country, as it’s murder, no, no, no it’s murder.

Thankfully few people listened to the be-quiffed one and in London these days you can enjoy some of the finest quality steak in the world from numerous purveyors of high-end beef. The ‘big two’ are the amazing Hawksmoor and today’s review, Goodman. They are both talked about in the same breath, they are both similarly priced and they both have legions of fans convinced one is better than the other. I thought it was only fair to you, dear reader, that I find out for myself if Goodman could out-steak Hawksmoor (no mean feat considering I gave Hawksmoor a perfect 10/10). It’s a tough task but professionalism comes first on this blog.

First impressions - the room was buzzing (it was Friday night after all) and it’s a rather pleasant space. It’s more of a traditional room than Hawksmoor’s vintage industrial vibe, and the feel is ‘upmarket’ rather than ‘trendy’. We had a kind of booth. Everyone likes a booth.

Unfortunately for us on our visit we had to endure the frequent London phenomenon of a large group of loud, lairy pissed-up City bankers. SWEARING and GOING ON ABOUT MASSIVE DEALS, YAH? Thankfully they buggered off before the mains came. Most upmarket restaurant suffer from the expense account brigade’s ill behaviour from time to time but the problem is particularly bad in posh steakhouses, purely because steak is BIG and MACHO and is for REAL MEN with LOTS OF MONEY.

Anyway, onto the food. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Not to listen to my grumpy ranting. Keen to find out about Goodman’s Russian angle (they are Russian-owned), I chose the sweet pickled herring to start. Served, ‘Russian style’ in a Kilner jar with mustard and some sort of delicious rye bread. It was fantastic. Juicy, thick slices of herring with a touch of mustard, a gherkin and a wee bit of bread make for a very tasty (and oddly refreshing) mouthful of food. The combined sweet/vinegar flavours are a great palette cleanser ahead of all that meat.

The main event is obviously STEAK, and lots of it. There were 4 of us so we got 2 900g Porterhouses, cooked medium-rare. I think the photos speak for themselves here - this was a VERY good steak indeed. It was cooked perfectly medium-rare and the char was spot-on. My favourite bit was the fat which had developed an amazing rich smokey flavour.

Just look at the colour of it! Better than Hawksmoor? Well, it’s a bit different. I’d say they are as good as each other, in their own special way. Unfortunately Mrs MBFBY? said that the other steak had been cooked to medium rather than med-rare so wasn’t quite as juicy as my one, though she still enjoyed it immensely.

Obviously it’s not a trip to the steakhouse unless you cover your table in sides so we went for truffle chips (brilliant - cooked in truffle oil), normal chips (brilliant - not cooked in truffle oil) green beans (brilliant - but what else can you say about competently cooked green beans?) and carrots (lovely honey and ginger glaze). No marks lost for the sides.

The staff were friendly, helpfully knowledgeable and efficient. Our waitress took a lot of time to make sure we were all happy and everything was fully explained to us.

So, food-and-service-wise, it’s very hard to say Goodman beats Hawksmoor. They are both serving steak to an absurdly high standard. I do have to dock them a point for overcooking Mrs MBFBY?’s porterhouse a tad, though.

They also lose a point for the annoyance of having a TV film crew walking around getting in the way, at one point the cameraman set up a light which was shining into my mum’s face and I had to go an tell them to turn it off. Though to be fair I emailed them afterwards about this and received a prompt apology so top marks for customer service.

When it comes down to it though, I have to say I personally prefer Hawksmoor. I love Hawksmoor’s aesthetic, I love their cocktails and I love their hipster staff. This has nothing to do with the food, Goodman is a fine establishment, but one with a more traditional feel. If you want to savour the flavour of murder properly then I urge you to try both. Don’t listen to Morrissey. The flesh they so fancifully fry IS succulent, tasty AND kind. Well, kind on the taste-buds at least. It’s not kind to the cow, or to your wallet.

8/10

Goodman
24-26 Maddox St
London
W1S 1QH

020 7499 3776

http://www.goodmanrestaurants.com/

Google Map

Roganic, Marylebone, London W1

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:12:11 +0000

There’s no point doing a proper review of Roganic. The 10 course tasting menu can truthfully be described by that most stupid of modern terms: ‘EPIC’. ‘Food-as-theatre’, ‘breathlessly exciting’, ‘progressive’ and ‘MIND BLOWING’ are more overused descriptive terms that could also be employed. If you want a blow-by-blow then there’s at least a zillion other blog posts about Roganic you could read.

It’s a tiny, low-key space of 11 tables. Painstakingly taking pictures of each course and jotting down notes would have totally ruined not just my experience, but the experiences of the other diners and possibly the experience of the staff too (who are all impossibly lovely - without doubt the most friendly and knowledgeable staff I’ve encountered anywhere). Besides, it was my birthday meal. And what better place to spend it that in a small white room, manfully tackling a ridiculous feast?

That’s all you need to know about Roganic. That, and the fact that it’s going to be PRICEY. But it’s worth every penny. If you want to taste the result of a super-talented chef going mental with amazing ingredients then get down there if you can, they close in a year or so. Mega.

Roganic
19 Blandford St
London
W1U 3DH

0207 4860380

http://www.roganic.co.uk/

Google Map

The Seagrass, Chapel Market, Islington

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:26:00 +0000

Pop-up. Love it or loath it, the pop-up concept is firmly here to stay. I’m ambivalent - on the one hand I like the fact it gives folk with good ideas/products a chance to reach customers without having to sink thousands into a risky bricks-and-mortar operation. On the other hand the term has become ridiculously overused and hijacked by mainstream brands (hello Boxpark). You can peddle any old crap from the back room of a brothel in Whitechapel, if it’s pop-up, the crowds will come a-flockin’) .

A friend (hello Kalle) made me aware of The Seagrass a few weeks ago and it immediately sounded very interesting: 30 quid for 3 courses, BYOB, a ridiculously old-school setting and LOBSTER.

The Seagrass is a pop-up, but seems to be in it for the long-term. They’ve set up shop after hours in Manzes pie-and-mash shop on the less-than-glamourous Chapel Market, Angel. It’s simple - Manzes stop serving the pie-and-mash at the end of the day then the Seagrass folks walk in, lay the tables and start cooking (I’m sure it’s not as simple as that really, but that’s what it looks like).

We arrive at 7 and the place is so underground the door is locked. Thankfully a very friendly chap hears my rattling and lets us in, apologising that they forgot to unlock the door. It’s quiet tonight but the room is brimming with charm. This is indeed a beautiful original interior. Polished wood, Victorian tiles, crystal pendant lights, marble table tops lit by candle light - it’s the sort of thing your modern London restauranteur has spent untold amounts faking. Think a slightly rough-around-the-edges Hawksmoor or Polpo.

The food - it’s a short set menu, 3 choices for starter, 3 for main then a cheeseboard. 30 quid. With a menu this short choices are made quickly, and while we’re waiting we get a lovely amuse bouche of scallop and mussels. The scallop is as good a quality as I’ve had, and was perfectly cooked. Bonus.

I went for duck broth to start. It didn’t blow me away with flavour but it had plenty of juicy duck meat in it, and when mopped up with bread was great warming comfort food. Apologies for the photo, which appears to be of a black hole. it was pretty dark in there. I’ve noticed that a lot recently, restaurants being dark. Maybe it’s to ward off the snapping of food bloggers. I snap 90% of the photos for this blog on an iPhone to try and be as unobtrusive as possible for staff and fellow diners. Nothing spoils the atmosphere of a meal more than whipping out a DSLR and taking a picture of you salad, but because of this sometimes you don’t get decent photos. Please accept my apologies.

It seemed rude not to order the lobster therimidore for main so that’s exactly what I did. It was fantastic. Half a big juicy lobster smothered in melted cheese and garlic. What more could you ask for? Chips. So I ordered a side of triple-cooked chips. They were stupidly good. A paper-thin crispy coating masking super-fluffy insides. To finish off my lobster I dug out all the meat with the meat digging thingy, greedily sucking the last bits out of the claw. It was quiet, alright? No-one saw!

^This is what a table should look like when you’ve had a good lobster thermidore.

After we’d cleaned ourselves up from the lobster butchery the cheeseboard arrived. Applewood smoked cheddar, cornish Brie and a lovely blue number who’s name escapes me. They’d whipped up a lovely tomato and basil chutney to accompany and supplied as many biscuits as we needed (so many places are stingy with the biscuits - WHY?!?)

We ordered the bill, which came with a delicious millionaire shortbread. Just what you need after a cheeseboard dessert. £62.50 for 3 courses each (plus service). With the BYOB this is a serious bargain. Factor in the unique surroundings and the wonderfully friendly service (they can’t do enough for you, seriously) and you have a winner.

The food isn’t innovative in any way (they ain’t trying to be) but the simple, homely charms of the menu, the professional execution and superb ingredients shine through. Minor gripe about the broth needing a bit more flavour aside, you should get to the Seagrass quickly before the hipsters find out about it and every shit-hole launderette on Chapel Market has a pop-up oxygen bar with an iPad DJ.

8/10

The Seagrass
74 Chapel Market
London
N1 9ER

07902 015 200 (cash only)

http://www.theseagrassrestaurant.com

Google Map

Ceviche, Frith St, Soho

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 12:33:00 +0000

Soft opening? Sounds a bit nasty to me. ‘Come to my soft opening’. Hmm. Anyway, my visit to Ceviche was on the ‘soft opening’ first night so bear this in mind as there was 50% off the bill. Also it was really dark in there so apologies for the pitch-black photos.

It’s a bustling place, full to the rafters by the time we got there. An attractive bar area at the front (serving an array of pisco-based cocktails) leads to the main dining area down some stairs at the back. It’s not the largest space and they’ve really crammed the tables in there so prepare to get cosy. Interior-wise it’s tasteful enough (with some truly awesome photos of tough looking Peruvian dudes and lovely old-school posters, typography fans) but lacks the finesse of, say, a Russell Norman establishment.

The menu is enticing. It’s all about sharing plates so there’s a ceviche section (obviously), a skewer section, sides and a ‘classic favourites’ section of trad Peruvian fayre. They recommend you have 3-4 dishes each and with prices between £6-£11, cheap eats this ain’t.

We had a couple of excellent pisco cocktails to start, a Pisco Sour and a Soho. I was warned that pisco really messes you up so be careful, especially as the cocktails we had were dangerously drinkable.

I ordered some tequeños to nibble on whilst we waited for the food to start arriving, these were great. Crispy wonton-type coating containing spicy chicken with a rocoto mayo dip. A lovley little appetiser.

First to arrive were the ceviches. I’m a big fan of ceviche generally and have been looking forward to this opening (soft or otherwise) since I found out about it last summer. They both were delicious. The Don Ceviche comprised of large chunks of meaty sea bass in chilli, lime and tiger milk, whatever that it. I thought it was a Belle and Sebastian album, turns out it’s what they call the juice produced by the ingredients of the ceviche in Peru. I definitely didn’t have to google that, I just knew it anyway, yah? There were smokey crunchy fried bits of something in there too. Brilliant dish.

The Sakura Maru ceviche was also fantastic. Very Japanese; sashimi-quality salmon in mirin, soy and chilli. The quality of the fish is plainly evident (it has to be in a ceviche, really). Melt in the the mouth. This also had crunchy bits. I like crunchy bits. Everyone like crunchy bits. If you don’t like crunchy bits you can jog on.

Next up: steak skewers. These were marinaded in chilli sauce and served with fried potatoes. Perfectly cooked, top quality meat, very flavoursome. Solid.

On the side I had this very strange dish - choclo. It’s basically giant corn-on-the-cob but the texture and flavour has more in common with potato. The jury is out on this one, I thought it was a bit strange and not actually that tasty. There was a rather earthy flavour to it, and £4.75 is rather steep for a piece of corn, giant or otherwise.

Finally they brought over the Arroz con Pato: confit of duck in beer and coriander rice. Again, this was perfectly cooked and absolutely delicious. The sauce-fattened rice and tender duck makes for incredible comfort food. A good one to fill you up a bit after all that light ceviche. The photo of this dish was too dark even for the low standards here at MBFBY? so apologies, I didn’t post it.

So, the food at Ceviche is a triumph. My niggle is with the pricing. You definitely need 4 dishes each, before you know it you are looking at 35-40 quid a head on food alone. It’s not a fancy dining room - it’s rammed, canteen style. You get what you pay for to a certain extent (as mentioned the sheer quality of the ingredients is evident in every dish) but personally I’d see Ceviche as an informal kind of place, which it is, but a meal for 2 would be pushing 100 quid with wine (the cheapest red is £20.50) - not informal prices.

As for the service I’m not going to dwell too much as it was their first night but the amount of tables crammed in there caused problems. There’s a single channel down the middle for staff to deliver food, with tables for 4 on each side tables for 2 in between the 4s and the wall meaning it’s really tricky to get the attention of the staff if you are on a 2.

We spent a lot of time trying to catch someone’s eye through the cacophony. To give them credit the staff were really friendly and trying very hard, I’m sure they’ll iron out the problems soon enough. The chaos unfortunately meant we never got the octopus ceviche or the asparagus we’d ordered which is a shame as judging by the rest of the food we’d have been in for a treat.

Ceviche, then. Food - unique, high quality, fantastically executed. Drink - lovely pesco cocktails, could do with better value house wine. Space - nice enough, bit too cosy for me. I’m not going to give them a score like usual as it was their first night. I recommend it, but be warned: it’s not cheap.

Ceviche
17 Frith St
London
WCD 4RG

020 7292 2040

http://cevicheuk.com/

Google Map

PUB REVIEW: The Lass O' Richmond Hill, Richmond Park

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:39:00 +0000

I’ve tried to get in to this cavernous pub beside the grandest of the Royal Parks a few times now but because it’s beside the grandest of the Royal Parks it’s always RAMMED. All these no-booking policies these days have dulled my senses - I must have forgotten it is actually still possible to book a table in London in 2012.

However I thought ahead this time and on a wet Saturday afternoon we arrived (with 2 kids in tow) and were shown to a particularly lovely table in the rear dining area. It’s a classy joint - wood panelling, nice carpets, a real cosy feel. Far posher than your average Young’s pub. It’s what you’d call ‘kid friendly’ - but that doesn’t mean the little blighters run the place, it just means they are respectfully catered for.

We ordered drinks and tap water (they had Twickenham Brewery Naked Ladies on - an excellent hoppy brew in great nick). I think the waiter may have had a heavy night the evening before as he missed everyone’s glass leaving us with a bit of a soggy table. Other than that, service was friendly and efficient.

Now, the Lass really bigs up its beef. The menu proclaims that they dry-age their meat on the premises, the meat comes from Macken Brothers butchers down the road in Chiswick and they’ve apparently won Great Britain’s Best Steak Pub 2011 from some nameless organisation. It better be good with such big talk…

Fortunately I was impressed. I went for ribeye and it was very good. Nice smokey char and undeniably good quality meat. They lose a point for overcooking it a bit though (I asked for medium rare and got medium. Why do so many places screw this up?) Chips were decent enough, blue cheese salad was delicious but the warm peppercorn sauce was great. It was more like a fine, rich pepper gravy. I downed the rest like a shot at the end. Don’t judge me, I’m Northern.

Unfortunately they messed up one of my dining companions battered cod; it was completely overcooked and very dry. Boo.

This considered I would recommend the Lass O’ Richmond hill. It’s in a top location, (you can be in Richmond Park in 2 mins), it’s a nice place to spend a few hours and they know how to cook a decent steak. OK, they ain’t going to be worrying the Hawksmoor anytime soon but they can cook up some good quality meat. It’s not cheap for a pub but the quality is there (and what do you expect in this location? Every third car is a Porsche). It’s a shame about the inconstancies in the kitchen but I’ve come to expect this from pub dining in this country unfortunately. Don’t try the fish. As Weezer said in the iconic ‘Buddy Holly’ video, the fish is ‘not so good, Al’.

6.5/10

The Lass O’ Richmond Hill
8 Queens Rd
Richmond
TW10 6JJ

020 8940 1306

http://www.lassorichmondhill.co.uk/

MBFBY? - The first year

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:04:00 +0000

A year ago today I thought ‘hey, doing a food blog sounds like a good way to get free stuff, plus I’d get to whinge about stuff. I’ll give it a go’.

Well, I’m still here 12 months later and it’s turned into a thoroughly enjoyable endeavour. The free stuff thing didn’t really pan out. Here’s the entire list of freebies MBFBY? received in 2011:

- a bottle of wine from Barefoot which I haven’t tried yet

- some wraps at Moolis

- some beers at various places

erm, that’s it. I’m not going to retire on this blog unfortunately.

Over the year I’ve had some amazing meals, some rubbish pub roasts, met some great people and gained a proper insight into the London restaurant scene. I’m constantly blown away by the progressive, confident ideas which breed in this fair city. Each month brings a raft of new openings, despite the toughest economic conditions in living memory. Maybe this partly accounts for the amount of successful new restaurants - you have to be good to survive. Plus, there’s legions of bloggers and tweeters watching your every move. You fuck up and a thousand people know within minutes. It’s never been more possible to have a good meal for a fair price in London. Bravo.

Regular readers will notice I don’t have too many negative reviews - this is testament to the quality of places out there at the moment and most of my reviews are from nights out with my wife; we check out places we’ve heard are good, we’re paying the bill and we want to have a nice time. I can’t give you an ingredient-by-ingredient analysis of a deconstructed trifle but I can hopefully tell you if a restaurant experience is any good or not. I want to share good places with people, that’s why I started writing this blog in the first place. Fortunately we’ve not really had any horror shows (apart from Cây Fucking Tre), though I’m sure we’re due one soon.

Right, enough navel-gazing. In true MBFBY? style, weeks late, here’s my end-of year round-up:

Best meal: Dinner by Heston Blumenthal

Predictable - yes. But it’s freaking awesome. Spectacular, witty and worth the money. MEAT FRUIT!

Most visited restaurant: MEATLiquor

Again, pretty predictable but I love love love this place. They do the best burgers I’ve ever had. Fact. Not over-thought monstrosities, sloppy meaty delights in the near-darkness to a rocking soundtrack. Last time I was in they played War Pigs, for fucks sake.

Best pub: The Palm Tree

I go to a lot of pubs. As yet, none can beat the mighty Palm Tree. Archaic, surreal and brimming with soul.

Album of the year: ‘Color Trip’ - Ringo Deathstarr

Great name, great band. An updated My Bloody Valentine with catchier tunes.

There you have it. Thanks for the support over the last year. I’ve had lots of very nice comments (not much hate mail unfortunately) and my readership is creeping up steadily. I’d like to think my spelling is improving too, but I’m probably wrong.

Here’s to another year. Hope I don’t get gout!

Cây Tre, Old St, EC1

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 10:37:10 +0000

Serves me right. I should never have ventured into the bleak wastelands of Shoreditch on a Saturday night. 10 years ago you could have called it exciting round here, now it’s all lads-on-tour, shouting, breaking glass. Come back hipsters, all is forgiven. Plus there’s STILL no cash machines that don’t charge £1.75 for the privilege of access to your own money.

Anyway, a good friend’s birthday necessitated a vist here and we’d booked in at Cây Tre to meet some friends for a meal and a chat before the party. I’d heard lots of good reports, some not-so-good, certainly enough to warrant checking it out.

Unfortunately I can’t tell you about the food as Cây Tre had no record of the reservation I made over the phone. We arrived, our friends arrived, they kept us hanging round awkwardly for 5 minutes whist they talked amongst themselves then told us no, we can’t have a table. A half-apology was mumbled and we left. I got the impression they didn’t believe me when I said I phoned up the day before. Well, Cây Tre, here’s a record of the phone call:

I can handle below-par food. I can handle aloof service. I can even handle strip lighting, blood-stained menus and toilets out of Trainspotting. I can’t handle planning an evening in a busy part of town around a meal with friends and not being able to guarantee that the restaurant will actually honour the reservation you’ve made.

So, if you definitely want a nice meal with friends on a Saturday night in Shoreditch then don’t bother with Cây Tre. The one thing you have to get right as a restaurant is to honour someone’s booking, and they didn’t. Not only that, they didn’t give a fig about making it right. As a punter it’s embarrassing, annoying and just downright inconvenient.

Anyway, we went next door to Busaba instead where we had a decent meal with professional and courteous service. Shame on you Cây Tre.

0/10

Cây Tre
301 Old St
London
EC1V 9LA

020 7729 8662 (though they won’t actually write your reservation down in the book)

http://www.vietnamesekitchen.co.uk/caytre/

Google Map

Smoak, Malmaison Hotel, Piccadilly, Manchester

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:51:17 +0000

A brief review to see in the first month of the year. Going to do a navel-gazing ‘1 year of MBFBY?’ post next month, and there’s a reviewing vist of Young Turks at the Ten Bells in the pipeline. I might even review Pitt Cue Co using only haikus if I can actually get a table. In the meantime another visit to Manc and another restaurant checked out…

Smoak. SUCH a Manchester name. ‘One word, spelt wrong’ is the motto of Manchester’s hospitality industry when it comes to naming venues. Nonetheless, I’d been hearing good things so in need of a quick lunch I popped to Smoak on a windy Sunday afternoon before getting the late afternoon train back to the actual Smoke.

It’s certainly a ‘concept’. The huge interior is tastefully decorated in unfinished wood and faux vintage which you can see being easy to roll out across the Malmaison chain. The theme is AMERICAN MEAT. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly nice place with some nice touches but it still feels like a hotel restaurant (which it is, to be fair).

It was very quiet on our visit (2pm on a Sunday in January so not a surprise). They could maybe lose the SCREAMIN’ USA COUNTRY ROCK. How about some light banjo instead?

Staff were attentive helpful and efficient, though there were only about 3 other customers so it wasn’t exactly challenging conditions.

Onto the food - I had a couple of oysters to start. They were lovely - fresh, huge and looking very appealing served in a metal dish of ice with shallot vinegar and bottle of Tabasco alongside.

The main event involved a full rack of ribs. Again, this was attractively presented, the ribs removed from the rack and piled in a metal bucket, the sides in mini copper pans. clichéd? Yes. I like clichés sometimes. Extra points for having hot water in the finger bowl.

The ribs were delicious. I liked the fact that the weren’t served on the rack. Less hassle. They were very tender and moist, falling off the bone, glazed with filthy, spicey BBQ sauce. A bit of coleslaw on the side and some yoghurst finished it off nicely. The parmesan chips were excellent too, crispy, skin-on with a home-cooked flavour.

RE: The chips - they have 5 different types of chips. ‘Classic’, ‘Garlic’, ‘Parmesan’, ‘Paprika’ and ‘Chilli’. My dad, (who I was dining with) couldn’t get his head around this.

“There’s too much choice, son! Parmesan? Chips? They must be out of their minds.”

I’m inclined to agree with him here, it just adds an extra layer of choice on an already long-winded menu. Everything we ordered necessitated a question back to us from the waitress. At least it’s authentically American I suppose. When I was in the States a few weeks ago you couldn’t order anything without having to answer a stream of questions.

“And what would you like on that, sir? Bacon? Steak? Pancakes? Turkey wings? And would you like the whole lot deep fried? Sides? We got hash browns, corn bread, fat fries, fatter fries, fattest fries, onion rings, chilli bowl, 10 pieces of fried chicken?

JUST GIMMIE THE BLOODY BURGER, ALRIGHT?

Anyway, the cooking at Smoak is top notch, and the ingredients are superb quality. It’s a great place for lunch/brunch and it’s within eyeshot of Piccadilly station. Prices are good. The menu needs some pruning and the atmosphere is a little sterile, but overall I’d say it’s a good addition to Manchester’s somewhat underwhelming dining scene.

7/10

Smoak
Malmaison Hotel
Manchester
M1 1LZ

0161 278 100

http://www.smoak-grill.com/

Google Map

MIshkin's 25 Catherine St, Covent Garden WC2

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 11:20:00 +0000

I wasn’t sure about Mishkin’s when I first heard what Polpo impresario Russell Norman was planning for his fifth opening. “A kind of Jewish deli with cocktails” said the Twitter account. My reservations were increased further when I found out it wasn’t going to be kosher, and they would be serving a pork hot dog. A pork hot dog in a Jewish-influenced deli? Is this not akin to opening a Vatican-themed restaurant and putting on a live protected sex show? Well, no it isn’t but it made me think blimey, is he going to get it wrong this time? Is it going to be like a theme restaurant? Are the staff going to be forced to dress as rabbis?

Now, in what could be seen as a new ‘pro’ direction for MBFBY?, I visited Mishkin’s twice before writing this review. Not because of my dedication to objective reviewing, mainly because as a frequent user of Waterloo station, Mishkin’s is ridiculously handy, located on Catherine St, just over Waterloo Bridge. Also I was too lazy to get my opening week review online straightaway. Ah well, who gives a jot about frantically scrambling to get your review online before everyone else? It’s certainly a fairer indication of the quality of an establishment to visit after the opening fuss has died down. Not that this was my intention.

Marking a sea change in the usual Russell Norman formula of NO BOOKINGS and MASSIVE QUEUES you can actually reserve a table at Mishkin’s, just like a normal restaurant. That’s the only radical difference though, the rest of the trademarks are there, the tattooed hipster staff, the cool music, the faux-vintage interior. Not that I have a problem with any of this stuff, quite the opposite. The interior here is warmer than any of the other joints, very much based on a New York diner. There’s nothing overtly ‘Jewish themed’ about it. And the staff aren’t dressed as rabbis. In fact, they seem to have based their look on ‘Leisure’-era Blur, despite the fact that none of them were alive when that album was released. I don’t know, the kids these days, eh? Bowl cuts aside, I found the staff to be friendly and efficient (consistent with Norman’s other establishments. Where does he find them?) ProTip: If you sit at table 1 (which we did both times) you get to watch the hilarious spectacle of the staff ducking under the gap in the bar (the hinged bar is never open, making me wonder if Mr. Norman has specified it remain closed to promote Buster Keaton-style slapstick hilarity to entertain the punters).

The place was bustling on both visits, nicely full, soul music playing on the stereo, cocktails being mixed behind the zinc-topped bar. Now, the cocktails are really quite something. Inventive, and well priced (around the 6.50 mark). Over the course of the visits I had a Gin Rickey (taut, strong) and a Diamond Fizz (kind of like a more sophisticated Mojito, attractively served in a mini pewter tankard). Mrs MBFBY loved her Negroni. At these prices you could sit there working your way through the list all day until they threw you out for shouting and still have change from 80 quid.

On to the scran. First up we have a steamed burger. This was a brilliant start – the bun and patty seemingly fused together by the steaming process giving a delicious, airy texture. Nice classic ‘meaty’ taste too, a little like the taste of bone marrow. Nice pile of gherkin slices on the side. My only complaint is that they should offer a full size version (this one is more like a slider). When you go, order this for sure.

Next up we have matzo ball soup. This is serious comfort food, a light chicken broth with a great big suet-y dumpling in it. The broth was very good, if a little unmemorable. To be fair, a dish like this isn’t about blowing your taste buds apart, it delivers because it’s warming, tasty and has a great big suet-y dumpling in it. Perfect for a cold December day.

The tantalisingly named cod cheek popcorn was the dish I was most looking forward to, sadly it was underwhelming. It’s chunks of cod cheek in a light batter. Nothing wrong with the texture or cooking, it was just a bit, well, bland. It would benefit hugely from a sauce of some kind; the obvious choice would be something like sweet chili (maybe too far away from the remit of Mishkin’s?)

We had to try the blasphemous hot dog, especially as I’ve tried (and loved) the work of the supplier - Big Apple Hot Dogs of Old St - earlier in the year. It didn’t disappoint. It’s massive, the sausage is unrivalled in quality and the ‘dragged through the garden’ garnish was fresh and zingy. On the side we had ‘half and half’ home cooked chips (skin on, very tasty) and onion rings (light and reasonably sized, not stupid massive ones like you get in bloody ‘Gourmet’ Burger Kitchen).

The other dish that had been hyped-up-to-buggery was the Ruben sandwich, and I’m pleased to report that this didn’t disappoint either. I was really quite hung over when I had this and it sorted me right out. Pastrami, sauerkraut and melted cheese on toast. That’s it, and it’s as good as it sounds (and a very generous portion. A classic toasted sandwich.

Dessert-wise I had Bananas Foster which despite looking a bit like bangers and mash was actually a very sweet concoction of warm banana, ice cream and caramel. It’s not for the faint hearted though, luckily it ran out before it could get sickly.

Now, one thing that really lets the side down at Mishkin’s is the beer. You’ve got 2 choices – Red Stripe or London Pride. In CANS. I’m sorry but this just isn’t on. It’s not bloody Brixton Academy. Plus, at 5 quid each (FIVE QUID!), that’s actually more expensive than Brixton Academy. Overpriced canned beer has no place in an establishment like this. I suspect this is purely an aesthetic decision by the proprietor. Come on, Mr. Norman, cans of Red Stripe with my delicious Ruben sandwich? No thanks.

Gripes aside I enjoyed Mishkin’s, and due to its informal nature, reasonably priced comfort food and handy location (for me, anyway) I’ll be visiting often. The interior is lovely, and they even have a sink that looks like some kind of bulbous-nosed 50s robot (see above). However there are a few dishes that need work and the TINS of CRAPPY RED STRIPE situation needs sorting desperately. That considered I’d rate Mishkin’s…

…7/10

E Mishkin
25 Catherine St
London
WC2H 9JG

020 7240 2078

http://mishkins.co.uk/

Google Map

The Hawksmoor, Seven Dials, WC2

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:01:00 +0000

Vegetarians look away now. There’s nothing for you here. The Hawksmoor is a temple of beef and no mistake. Since the first one opened in 2006 (Spitalfields), they’ve become known as the top steakhouse in the capital. I dined there a couple of years ago and the steak was excellent, but the experience slightly sullied by sloppy service and clientele comprised almost exclusively of male City types working their way through expense accounts whilst shouting rude words at each other. However, the Seven Dials outpost has received such unanimously amazing reviews it’s been on my to-do list pretty much since it opened last year. In need of somewhere special to take Mrs MBFBY? for her birthday this year we elected to give it a go.

DISCLAIMER -Yes, I know they’ve just opened a brand new Hawksmoor at Guildhall but this is MBFBY?, yah? If you’re looking for zeitgeist then bugger off over there somewhere with those vegetarians.

We arrive, our bags/coats are taken swiftly and we are directed downstairs. It’s a beautiful space - initially feeling very gentlemanly. Reclaimed parquet flooring, brass fittings, wood panelling. There’s a modern twist though, a few industrial ducts and lights, exposed brickwork. Also, most of the staff have dreadlocks and tattoos. Sweet. We arrived early as we wanted to try some cocktails (Hawksmoor’s bar has achieved almost as much renown as it’s meat room). The list is impressive, we sit there for a good ten minutes reading it, there’s a great blurb about each drink explaining the background, the history and even the name of the Hawkmoor mixologist responsible for creating their version.

I go for a Rub A Dub Shrub first which is refreshing combination of wine, cognac, citrus, spice, gin and lemon juice. It’s got a sweet, slightly medicinal taste and is just what you want to prepare your stomach for the onslaught of meat. It is, however, orange and rather girly looking.

Keen to prove my man credentials I ask the barman to recommend me something to put hairs on my chest. He suggests, amongst other things, the brilliantly named Navy Strength Gimlet. I say yes please. He gives me an approving smile and says “NICE”. The Gimlet is basically 57% Navy-strength gin and a home made lime cordial. That’s it. It’s bloody fantastic and not as harsh as you’d think. I could drink it all night. Well, maybe 2, then onto shandy.

Before we know it, it’s time to take our table in the fabulous vaulted brick dining room (the site used to be a brewery, apparently). The place is buzzing with a healthy mix of people. In fact, I didn’t notice any all-male tables of lairy suits going on about TARGETS and FIGURES and THAT F*CKING PETE FROM ACQUISITIONS at ear-splitting volume (no offence, Pete from Acquisitions).

To start, I pushed the boat out (HA HA HAAA!) and went for a lobster cocktail. It was basically a really good prawn cocktail but with massive chunks of lobster meat instead of prawns. At MBFBY? towers we’re quite the connoisseurs of seafood-based cocktails, and this one certainly passed muster. Crisp lettuce, a light sauce and loads lovely white meat.

As you may have gathered by now, it’s all about the beef here. It’s a matter of choosing what cut of steak you want. There’s ribeyes, sirloins, d-rump etc but the exciting stuff is the porterhouse, prime rib and chateaubriand which is sold by the 100g (the minimum they had on our visit was 800g). They have a blackboard with the steaks in stock that day which get crossed off as they get sold - we go for a 900g porterhouse, béarnaise sauce, chips and 2 fried eggs on the side. No time for greens here.

It was magnificent. A huge t-bone with the larger, rarer sirloin on the right and the smaller, more tender fillet on the left. We asked for it to be cut off the bone, but they left plenty of fleshy goodness for me to gnaw straight off the bone like a wild animal. Perfectly cooked, amazing flavour, a hint of béarnaise sauce on the side. I don’t think I’ve had a better steak, certainly not in this country (closed contender would be Peter Luger in New York. Writing this is making me want to be back there, right now.

This perfect steak was accompanied by 2 fried eggs on the advice of my good friend Jonty and this proved to be an absolute winning ProTip™. The texture and flavour of the eggs with the meat was astonding. I don’t know their methods but I suspect the eggs are fried in beef dripping. So damn tasty.

Which brings me on to the chips. These are definitely cooked in beef dripping (you can get triple-cooked instead/as well) , and they are stupidly tasty. Thin, crispy coating with light-as-a-feather, creamy insides. I had a bit of a ‘food-critic-at-the-end-of-Ratatoullie moment with these chips. It took my back to an unspecified meal at Smithill’s Hall, Bolton, probably around 1986. Such is the power of beef dripping.

As I mentioned earlier it was Mrs MBFBY?’s birthday. When I booked I asked them for a candle with dessert. I wanted to check if the message had gotten through so I grabbed a member of staff and not only had it gotten through, they knew where we were sitting and what my wife looked like. After our table had been cleared a few minutes went by then a massive sticky toffee pudding was brought over with not only a candle in it but the words ‘happy birthday’ iced onto the plate. Not only that but they left it off the bill too! Amazing.

I’ll take this moment to state that from arriving to leaving the service at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was amongst the best I’ve had anywhere. Every member of staff we encountered was friendly, funny, knowledgeable and generally making sure everyone was having a good time. Bravo to you all!

Now the bad news - Hawksmoor ain’t cheap. Our bill came to £145 including service. This doesn’t sound too bad but remember we only had one starter, dessert was free and we only paid £10 for corkage of 2 bottles of wine (on Monday’s they do a wine club night where you can BYO for £5 corkage per bottle - very reasonable indeed). Our steak alone was nearly 70 quid.

That said, you get what you pay for and more. This is the best steakhouse in the UK. We had one of the most memorable meals in recent years, everything exceeded expectations, the building is amazing, the staff are awesome, I can’t fault it on any level. And for that reason…

10/10

The Hawksmoor Seven Dials
11 Langley St
London
WC2H 9JG

020 7816 2154

http://thehawksmoor.com/

Google Map

José, Bermondsey St, London SE1

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:24:00 +0000

After managing to review somewhere that hadn’t even opened yet last time, normal service has been resumed here at MBFBY? towers. Here’s another review of somewhere everyone else wrote about 6 months ago.

It’s a sunny, autumnal Saturday morning in SE1. We decide to go for an amble round the foodie enclave of Maltby St (home of the excellent Kernel Brewery), then go for a spot of lunch on the ornamental dog enclave of Bermondsey St, like a pair of massive middle-class foodie stereotypes.

You’re spoiled for choice on Bermondsey St. You’ve got Zucca, Village East and The Garrison to name but a few. We were heading for tiny tapas bar José, set up earlier this year by ex-Brindisa chef José Pizarro. Now, it really is tiny. This is the third time we’ve attempted to get food there. Fortunately as we got there literally just after they’d opened at 11.55am, we managed to bag a couple of stools by the window overlooking the ornamental dog grooming salon across the road (i’m not joking). By 12.05pm the place was rammed and there was a queue of well-heeled couples snaking out of the door, miniature daschunds in tow.

It’s a lovely little spot, on a corner, on a very nice street. No tables, just stools, and an open kitchen. Friendly and welcoming staff were managing to successfully balance the jobs of getting food out and finding places for people to perch. A bottle of complementary sparkling water and a wee jar of spicy nibbles are brought over as soon as we’ve sat down. Ace.

We studied the menu. Lots of familiar sounding tapas. Nothing wrong with that. We made our selection and the waitress took our order. A few minutes later I looked over my shoulder and noticed a specials board behind the bar full of really exciting sounding dishes. D’oh! I suppose I could blame the waitress as it was obvious we’d not seen it from our entirely menu-based order, but the board was quite big and obvious. I snoozed, I losed.

First up was the delicious tomato bread. The huge amount of tomato topping was fresh & zingy, brought to life with a touch of garlic. The bread was similar to ciabatta but far lighter and very crispy. Yes, a simple dish but it was perfectly done.

Next up were smoked beef croquettes. As you’d expect from a master of modern Spanish tapas, these were AMAZING. Great crispy coating, creamy strong cheese and chunks of tender, smokey beef. Why do they give you 5 though? They always give you odd numbers of morsels in tapas joints, where there are quite often 2 peoplel sharing every dish. WHY?!??! Beats me.

The obligatory salad was also a highlight. Nothing fancy, just a well chosen, well prepared combination of quality ingredients in a light dressing. Pear, walnut, leaves and blue cheese. Delicious.

Now, even though this looks amazing it was a bit of a flop. Deep-fried hake with aioli. The aioli wasn’t really that garlicky, the batter wasn’t really that crispy, the fish didn’t really taste of anything and was a little undercooked. Never mind, eh?

Finally we had the pork meatballs. These were GREAT. I love a pork meatball, me. I think I may even prefer pork meatballs over beef. Served in a rich tomato sauce with some lightly fried bread this was a classic comfort-food tapas dish executed perfectly.

We had to dash on this occasion so we skipped dessert and coffee, but overall I thought José was excellent. I’d love to go back and work my way through the more exciting dishes on that specials board I’d missed but for 40 quid we had a top-notch lunch with a couple of glasses of excellent tempranillo and only one of the dishes was a bit duff. It’s very similar to what you’d get in a very good tapas bar in Barcelona. The service was brisk but friendly and effective, and the tiny room has a good neighbourhood-type buzz. Plus you get to laugh at pugs wearing top hats cantering past outside. Bonus. Excitingly, José Pizarro is opening up a proper sit-down restaurant just down the road very soon so if you wait 6 months after all the hype has died down I might just get round to reviewing that, too.

8/10

José
104 Bermondsey St
London
SE 3UB

http://joserestaurant.co.uk/

Google Map

MeatLiquor, 74 Wellbeck St, London W1

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:11:00 +0000

You are going to get SICK of hearing about MeatLiquor. This post will be a drop in the ocean on Food Blog World™ , where a tidal wave of hype is brewing. It’s going to hang around the top 10 on UrbanSpoon for months. I mean, it’s not even supposed to be open yet (official date is 11.11.11 - ‘course it is) and there’s already like a million blog posts about it or something. But open, it is. As soon as I found out I got down there as quickly I could, as is my duty to YOU, dear reader.

For those who don’t exclusively follow food-related accounts on Twitter, MeatLiquor is the spawn of the Meatwagon, a converted U.S ambulance which has been supplying the finest burgers in London to hungry pub-goers over the last few years. At the start of the year they opened up Meateasy, a pop-up burger bar temporarily located above a pub in New Cross. The hype grew. Now they’ve opened up a proper, 90 cover restaurant in the West End. It’s a very good business model for these austere times - build up your customer base and develop your products with the relatively low-risk burger van venture, court the bloggers, engage the customer base on Twitter, open a pop-up to iron out the creases, disappear for a bit, take up a residency in a pub in Peckham for dress rehearsal then BANG - out of nowhere open a fully functioning rock n’ roll burger bar behind Debenhams in the West End.

Anyway, on to the restaurant. It’s dark. It’s in a galleried space which used to be an Italian restaurant. The walls and ceilings are covered in scratchy, splattered graffiti and paste-ups of animal heads (in my other guise I’m motion designer and animator and one of the studios whose work I particularly admire are ilovedust, for it was they who did all the illustration). Loud rock n’ roll blares out through the darkness. On my visit they played Brakes, The Stooges and Black Sabbath amongst other things. I can safely say I’ve never been to a restaurant where they’ve played War Pigs at full volume. It reminds me a little of White Trash Fast Food in Berlin (home of Fuck You fries).

All this darkness, loud metal and graffiti-covered walls means MeatLiquor ain’t for everyone. Some people will hate it. Some people will think it’s trying too hard to be cool. Fair enough. They’re not trying to please everyone. For me though, there’s nothing else like this place in London. It’s a proper rock and roll burger bar. Personally I love burgers and if I can listen to Black Sabbath whilst eating one - bonus.

Now, the food - they have 6 burgers and a variety of other dishes (Philly cheesesteak, hot dogs, chicken and even *gasp* some salads). We got a little overexcited and ordered LOADS, and as it’s simple food I won’t over-analyse the dishes. Plus, it’s so dark in there I can barely read the menu, let alone take decent pictures so here’s a breakdown:

- Buffalo Wings: Really good. 5 quid. You get LOADS. Maybe they should also do a starter-size portion too for 3 quid though, as you really do get a lot. Fantastic blue cheese dressing. Basically pure blue cheese.

- Deep Fried Pickles: Deep fried pickles! Genius.

- Slaw: Great slaw. Better than Leon.

- Dead Hippie burger: HELL YEAH. This is basically a Big Mac made with really high-quality ingredients. 2 thick, rare burger patties, Big Mac sauce, lettuce, cheese and a brioche bun. Perfect. And another thing - the burgers aren’t stupidly massive. They’re just right. Whoever decreed that modern burgers must be at least 12” tall and piled with crap wants shooting.

- Fries: These were OK, not bad, not amazing. My advice: steal the Draft House’s recipe. Their fries are amazing.

- Dessert: we had a lovely pecan pie with EXCELLENT pastry.

- Drinks: I had a Meantime pale ale in a frozen glass (it made the foam on the beer freeze), we had a top notch bottle of Malbec for 15 quid and they have a MASSIVE cocktail list of inventive booze. I had a Full English martini (garnished with a scotched quail’s egg). It was potent.

So there you have it. It’s loud, dark, brash and the burgers are epic. They put kitchen rolls on the table to mop up the mess from your filthy hands and face. They’ve kept it simple. A perfect antidote to the too-tall, over-thought poncey burgers that permeate pubs and restaurants these days. Those wonderful burgers are backed up by a delicious array of interesting diner-style treats, and the price is right too. Plus, at 90 covers it’s big enough for the no-booking policy not to be a massive pain in the arse. If you walk up, you’ll probably be OK.

You wouldn’t take your mother-in-law there and some of your friends will definitely hate it. However if you want a stupidly good burger made with top-notch ingredients with a cocktail served in a jam jar, and you want to consume these goodies in a fun environment whilst rocking the fuck out to Sabbath then get yourself down to MeatLiquor, stat.

9/10

MeatLiquor
74 Wellbeck St
London
W1G 0BA

http://meatliquor.com/

Google Map

The Albany, Queens Road, Thames Ditton, Surrey

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:23:00 +0000

The Albany is a riverside gastropub in Thames Ditton, a curious slice of rural Surrey right on the border of Greater London. It’s a grand old building, painted in a typical shade of gastopub beige.

First impressions weren’t good - Mrs MBFBY? rang to book a table the day before and they’d obviously cocked it up as there was no record of our booking. After a little bit of standing around feeling uncomfortable they managed to find us a table, right by the window overlooking the non-tidal Thames, no less. Lovely.

This may be right on the edge of the capital but the clientele is PROPER Surrey. Some of the chaps looked like they’d happily spend an afternoon knocking back the single malts, jump in the Jag and speed back to the mock-Tudor mansion without even losing their monocle. Actually, that’s a tad unfair but if you are looking to hang out with tattooed hipsters you’ve come to the wrong place. It is, however, the perfect place to come with your mother-in-law, which is what brought us here in the first place.

It’s a handsome, airy room. Large windows with a river view, a polished stone floor and lots of wood. There’s a small bar area but The Albany is definitely more of a restaurant than a pub. The menu is quite long, the theme is modern Italian, and they do pizzas. As it was Sunday, we all decided to go for the roast.

With trepidation I ordered the roast beef. I’ve had some seriously duff pub roasts recently. 90% of pub roasts are microwaved-to-hell rubbish and the meat treated the worst is always beef. As I’ve said before, no wonder visitors to the UK think the British can’t cook when the standard of the average pub lunch is so low. Seeing things like ‘traditional roast’ and ‘traditional fish and chips’ chalked outside a pub depresses me. I don’t want ‘traditional’. Traditionally, British food is seen as awful. We’ve moved ahead immeasurably of course and now the UK is home to some of the world’s best restaurants but most pub food is stuck firmly in the 1970s and heated by x-rays.

Upmarket pubs in a similar vein to the Albany are guilty of crimes against roasts too. That just adds insult to injury, paying through the nose for overcooked meat and mushy veg. Seemingly all a pub has to do these days to claim ‘gastro’ status is a lick of battleship grey paint, some mis-matched chairs and a 15 quid roast.

The roast arrived and it certainly looked the part. I’d asked for the beef to be cooked rare (I always ask that and it hardly ever happens). I was bowled over to notice that yes, they’ve actually cooked it rare! It was a splendid bit of meat too, juicy and tender with a nice crust of crispy seasoning on the edge of the slice. The Yorkshire pud was massive, gooey inside and lightly crispy on the outside, the veg was actually cooked properly, nice and crunchy, and the roast potatoes were AMAZING. A thin, crispy skin and melt-in-the-mouth creamy insides. Some of the best roasties i’ve ever had. And as far as I could tell, none of it had been anywhere near a microwave. I accompanied my roast with a cracking pint of Youngs Bitter.

For dessert I went for a chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream, which was massive, and pure, delicious filth. Rich, moist and plentiful - everything you could want in a brownie.

There was an offer on the menu that allowed you an extra course with your roast for 3 quid more - the roast was £12.95 so that’s 2 courses for £15.95. Really rather good value for food of this quality in a very pleasant (if a little grown-up) setting. It’s also worth mentioning that the waiting staff were super-efficiant and generally lovely. Apart from the booking cock-up at the start there was a distinct air of efficiency, despite the fact that every table was full.

So, who’d have thought it - I’ve finally found an outstanding pub roast, and it’s a pleasant 30 minutes walk from MBFBY? towers in Surbiton (I know, it’s pretty much the law for food bloggers to live in South East London but I dance to my own beat. Not that there are any beats - this is the suburbs, UGETME)?

8/10

The Albany
Queens Road
Thames Ditton, Surrey
KT7 0QY

http://www.the-albany.co.uk/

Google Map

COCKTAIL BAR REVIEW - Rules Cocktail Bar, 35 Maiden Lane, London W1

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:13:00 +0100

Yeah, that’s right, I’m reviewing a cocktail bar. I don’t care what you think. I’ve drank enough foaming pints of Old Bastard’s Mindfuck whilst writing about places for this blog to have earned the right to a bit of luxury every now and again. Nothing against ale, obviously. I proper love ale, me. Know what I mean? Sound.

I heard Rules make the best cocktails in town. I’ve never actually been there so was quite curious to get a look at the old place (they say it’s the oldest restaurant in London but every third business claims to be the oldest something-or-other in London if there’s tourists about, and this is Covent Garden). What is certain is the room which is now the bar was used for private dining by Edward VII when he fancied a bit on the side.

We rock up and there’s a fellow on the door in a top hat. I ask if we can go to the cocktail bar. He says ‘of course’ and opens a door marked ‘tradesman’s entrance’ to the right of the main restaurant door, where a row of steps ascend like a celestial stairway to a wood-paneled chintzy heaven.

Up we go and we’re confronted with a proper old-school cocktail bar. Thick carpets, more wood paneling, leaded windows and a silver-haired gentleman behind the bar who turns out to be Brian Silva, expert mixologist and bar manager at Rules.

We sit down and Brian comes over for a quick chat about the cocktails and explains they only have a small list, but each cocktail on that list was formulated by him. He also said they can make pretty much anything we wanted, and mentioned tantalisingly that they have some off-list specials. Brian is American, massively knowledgeable and very friendly, in an understated, professional sort of manner. I bet he’d throw you down the stairs if you have too many Rasberry Rum Rickys and started acting the lark, mind.

From the list I chose a Le Blonde. This is sophisticated blend of champagne, pepper vodka and absinth. It’s served in a champagne glass. It’s delicious. A very refined, crisp taste with a hint of spice and a more than generous measure of champagne.

Mrs MBFBY? went for a Charles IV, No 3. gin, Green Chartreuse, Cocchi Americano and green tea liqueur, garnished with cucumber. This was POTENT, like an uber-gin martini. Really refreshing, but if you drank more than one you might do something silly and end up getting thrown down the stairs. This is a proper cocktail.

Brian came over later to ask us how our drinks were and we had another chat. This made us feel very welcome and at home (which isn’t difficult given the homely nature of the room, complete with open fire). Other plus points include bringing over glasses of iced tap water with the cocktails, and some truly superior cocktail nibbles of candied nuts.

I really liked my visit to Rules Cocktail Bar. So much so that I’m going to try and go every week, just for one. Also, the cocktails are £13.50 each plus service so if you have more than one each the bill will make your eyes water more than your Charles IV. Prices aside, Rules is a little bit of English history, some old-school American class and some damn fine drinks.

9/10

Rules
35 Maiden Lane
London
WC2E 7LB
020 7836 5314

http://www.rules.co.uk/

Google Map

PUB REVIEW - The Dean Swift, Butler's Wharf, London SE1

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:24:00 +0100

It’s been a tumultuous couple of months in MBFBY? world. An insane work schedule (unbelievably, writing this blog doesn’t quite pay the bills so I design and animate motion graphics ‘on the side’), a bunch of weekend commitments and major renovation work taking place at MBFBY? towers has left precious little time for the blog. I can only apologise to all 15 of you. Anyhoo, this time is almost at an end so here’s a wee pub review to ease myself back into it.

As I mentioned above we are having MAJOR building work done on our suburban home at the moment. We thought we could stick it out but after less that a week we had no hot water, our stuff boxed away in storage and a house full of dust, scaffolding and navvies. We now don’t even have an oven (to be fair the oven door was held on by gaffer tape but is still worked, dammit).

ANYWAY - the upside to this is that we were offered the use of a flat in SE1 so that’s where MBFBY? is living at the moment. It’s a lovely area, a mix of heavy tourist traffic by the river but plenty of quiet little cobbled streets and alleys when you head south, changing into full-on inner-city sprawl when you reach the Old Kent Rd. There are plenty of places to eat - lots of chains (there’s a Zizzi, a Pizza Express AND an Ask Pizza within 50m of each other. WHY?) , the Conran empire at Butler’s Wharf (unfortunately plagued by inconstant service and quality these days) and a scattering of pubs.

There are a few gems round here for sure though. I spent more time and money than I care to think about in the Draft House this weekend but wasn’t in blogging mode so you’ll have to wait for a proper review. It is a cracking little boozer though with great food to match and a ridiculous selection of brews.

However yesterday I was in blogging mode and thought I’d try out our new temporary local, the Dean Swift. This pub used to be a fairly generic sports lager-type pub (97% blokes, smelled funny, massive TVs) but inevitably has been given the modern posh-pub makeover. It’s a rather lovely job actually, understated, airy, lots of natural light and some original features such as the Victorian fireplace. It was important to get this right as the Dean Swift is rather tiny, and they’ve succeeded in creating an environment with a naturally pleasant atmosphere and plenty of places to sit, but it doesn’t feel too overcrowded. During our visit we enjoyed the easy-going, friendly vibe. The clientele seemed to be locals, the odd tourist and a scattering of students from the LSE halls next door. There’s still a telly for sport but it’s as unobtrusively located high up, and it’s not 70 inches and you don’t need 5D glasses or anything. So far, so good. And free wifi too.

Like the Draft House, the emphasis here is on beer. They have a substantial beer list with plenty of Belgie, US and British brews to try. They’ve got 3 ales on rotation and lots of lagers on draft. My pint of Gorilla was perfectly kept. They’re one of the few places to have a BrewDog pump on the bar, too. Got to love BrewDog. If you are looking for a cheap pint then go elsewhere but it’s hardly surprising that the prices are high, it’s an upscale pub in an affluent area with a large selection of rare beers.

We decided to have the Sunday roast as I’d been told is was good. It certainly looked the part. Unfortunately despite asking for the beef medium rare we were give overcooked, dry, chewy meat, the gravy was bland and the potatoes seemed like they’ve been sitting around for a while Boo. 12 quid, too. I should have sent it back really but:

a: the staff were really nice

b: I’m English

The one saving grace was the Yorkshire pud. It was glorious. Crisp on the outside, gooey on the inside and it was massive. I can’t say I’m surprised the roast was a disappointment, 9 out of 10 pub roasts are. Just step away from the microwave, pub chefs. Please. No bloody wonder visitors to these fair isles still think the English can’t cook, despite the fact that the UK is home to some of the world’s best restaurants.

We spent pretty much all day in the Dean Swift as we haven’t got wifi in the flat yet and needed to do a load of ‘errands’ online so after letting the roast go down we ordered the cheeseboard. Now this was a great success. A bit pricey at 10 quid but you got a load of quality cheese, including the frankly awesome Comté, a lovely chilli jam and assorted pickles. The thing that really blew me away here was that they actually gave us enough crackers for the cheese. Pretty much every time I have a cheeseboard they NEVER give you enough crackers. Come on. The crackers are the least expensive component. Give us more, you bloody tight-arses! I’m a simple man, I don’t ask for much. Give me enough crackers with my cheeseboard and I’m happy.

I think the Dean Swift will have to be awarded 2 separate scores, one for the food and one for the pub. The staff deserve a shout-out here, too. Everyone was helpful, friendly and attentive without being overbearing. It’s a cracking boozer in which it’s great to spend a relaxed afternoon supping some tasty beer from around the world. Unfortunately the roast was pretty bog standard and the meat was a travesty (especially for the price) but the cheeseboard was awesome. But still, it’s hard to screw up a cheeseboard, unless you don’t give me enough crackers of course.

Pub experience 8/10

Food experience 5/10

The Dean Swift
10 Gainsford St
London
SE1 2NE
020 7357 0748

http://thedeanswift.com/

Google Map

The Mark Addy, Salford

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 13:55:00 +0100

I was really looking forward to my trip to the Mark Addy. As a northerner, few things are more inviting that a pub with plenty of local ales on tap plus a menu with 2 different tripe dishes and a liberal use of bone marrow. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. The plexiglass-covered staircase entrance is reminiscent of a 1970s discotheque, I can imagine DCI Gene Hunt screaming into some hapless extra’s face then throwing them down the stairs. Once you descend into the bar proper it’s a cosy but expansive space with some lovely vaulted arches and large windows overlooking the River Irwell.

Chef Robert Owen Brown is bezzie mates with St John blood & gut-monger Fergus Henderson apparently (you’d guess that with the most cursory glance at the menu featuring all manner of offally good dishes) but Brown seems to have a particular love of fish. There’s two menus, an extensive permanent menu and an extra menu which is almost too big to be a specials menu (there were 7 dishes on there, I’ve been to gastropubs with shorter main menus). That’s not a bad thing, not everywhere needs boring, pared down Ramsey’s fucking Kitchen Nightmare-style 3 starter, 4 mains-type menu. The waitress said ‘that’s because he likes to experiment.’ Fair dos, Bob, fair dos.

Speaking of the staff they were all good humoured, friendly and attentive. Even my initial email was responded to within the hour and involved the word ‘fantastic’. Our table was made ready even though we were half an hour early and all questions about the menu were answered knowledgeably. Well done, guys.

Onto the food. I managed to try bits of most peoples dishes as I was dining with my wife and my mum and dad (HELLO!!!) so usual etiquette didn’t apply. Because of this, and the fact that we were tucked away in a little booth I decide to use my posh DSLR camera rather than the usual sneaky iPhone pictures as it wound’t be too intrusive. To start I ordered hot buttered buckling with horseradish cream. This delicious little pile of fishy goodness was expertly cooked and fell apart in my mouth. Great kick from the horseradish cream and a little crunch from the toasted bread, this is an absolutely classic starter.

I also tried Dad’s pickled tripe. This was amazing. Wonderful texture and a taught zingy flavour from the vinegar. The natural qualities of the tripe are allowed to shine through, this dish doesn’t need anything else. It’s a great palate cleanser, too.

Mrs MBFBY? and my darling mother shared the Mark Addy’s Famous Paté™. I’m not sure what the paté had done to achieve this fame, maybe it’s earlier work was better. When I tried it the paté it must have let the fame go to its head and and began resting on it’s laurels, releasing albums of pedestrian tracks about how it’s sports car broke down or how it’s thinking of leaving the country because of the 50p tax rate. It was mediocre at best. I’ve had better paté from the supermarket. It was quite bland, lacking in texture and that’s all you can say about it really. Shame.

Mains - I went for dogfish with bone marrow barley. A visually impressive dish, the bone marrow barley was excellent. Tender bits of barley swimming in lovely rich bone marrow, served inside massive chunks of bone. On top were large, meaty pieces of dogfish (a sort of shark type thing), though these were a little overcooked and had been seasoned with a heavy hand.

I tried Mum’s fish stew with Pernod and found this to be warming and flavoursome but became distracted by the hilarious array of comedy props accompanying the other two dishes. Mrs MBFBY?’s pigeon with claret and black pudding came with a bunch of salad in a shotgun shell, very apt as we dined on the Glorious 12th. Unfortunalty her pigeon was undercooked and a bit too bloody. The black pudding was delicious though.

Now, I like comedy props as much as the next fellow but the items accompanying the crab that my father ordered were very daft indeed. A wooden board of full-on DIY tools (pliers, hammer) was brought over and placed next to the delicious looking part-dressed crab. Not only is this totally OTT, but it took up loads of space on the table too. The Mark Addy doesn’t need this sort of gimmick, the sort of thing you’d expect to see in a low-end American theme restaurant, probably one with the word ‘shack’ in it’s title. I didn’t get to taste the crab as dad went mental at it with the tools and demolished the lot but he assures me it was “very good, son”.

The portions at the Mark Addy are substantial to say the least, the selection of desserts small and there was nothing jumping out at me so we got the bill. It was a very reasonable £122.75 plus service for 4 people including drinks. The Mark Addy is a charming, quirky space, the staff are brilliant and the menu unique and surprising. It’s a shame about the inconstancies in the cooking, especially the paté. Maybe the paté chef was having an off-day. I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences of the ‘famous’ Mark Addy paté. If you’re going to use the word ‘famous’ on your menu then you have to make sure it’s going to blow your freakin’ mind. However, the good stuff was really, really good and it’s not every day you find somewhere doing this type of cooking, especially at such reasonable prices. The wine list is extensive and well priced, and the ale I had was in perfect nick. Overall I’d give the Mark Addy a single thumb’s up.

7/10

The Mark Addy
Stanley St
Salford
M3 5EJ
0161 832 4080

http://markaddy.co.uk/

Google Map

PUB REVIEW - The Palm Tree, Mile End, London

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:44:00 +0100

To walk to the Palm Tree is rather lucid experience. The East End streets suddenly end. You are by a deserted canal, totally covered in bright green algae. Across a stretch of grass is a lone pub. It looks like it was once part of a larger street but is now the only remaining building. The windows are dark but the door it open…

The Palm Tree was my local many years ago when I lived in a house-share in Bow. Every Sunday we’d get down there after lunch, grab our usual table by the door and drink as much of whatever guest ale they had on that week as we possibly could. Then, around 8pm, the band would strike up (there’s a piano and a jazz drum kit permanently set up in the corner) and all the local old dears would take a turn on the mic, singing trad jazz classics. It would get rowdier and rowdier until the landlord turfed everyone out well past closing time and off we’d stumble into the night, dreading the dark Monday morning that inevitably follows such excess on the sabbath.

Walking through the door on this wet Sunday (in the area as we were on our way to the Apple Cart festival in Victoria Park) I was incredibly pleased to see that nothing has changed. At all. There isn’t another pub interior like the Palm Tree. Gold leaf wallpaper, wood-panelled central bar, the aforementioned jazz setup, thick burgundy velvet curtains, chunky 50s furniture, photos of jazz musicians above the bar and a few twee nick-nacks on display. All original. The till is ancient, there’s free Ritz biscuits, cheese and seafood in bowls on the bar and the old husband and wife team who run it are still there, and still up for some banter. There’s two bars at the Palm Tree and it’s so unmolested that you have to go outside to go between them. One is a sports bart and the other is the lounge bar. You want the lounge bar.

I remarked to Mrs MBFBY? that a wave of serenity swept over me as I sat down with my (perfectly kept) pint of Brewster’s Roll In The Hay and gazed across the bustling room. No piped music, just conversation. No braying hipsters, no aggressive drunks, no strange smells, no moody bar staff, no self-conciously cool crap on the walls, no sausage and mash in a ‘jus’, just a calming feeling of being at one with the pub. This is as close to what I imagine a sitting in a pub in the early 1960s was like. Maybe it was never like this, who knows (well, someone who was there obvs) but fake nostalgia can be very comforting in these troubled times. The Palm Tree is EASILY in my top 5 pubs of all time. I’m planning a definitive post on the top 5 pubs of all time later in the year so stay tuned.

I am aware that occasionally I write these gushing fanboy reviews of places I obviously adore and know well and it’s hardly a review as such, but I started this blog as a way to share some of the amazing places where I like to spend my time and money. There’s nothing wrong with writing the occasional love-letter. Don’t worry, I’ll be back reviewing the same painfully hip, blogged-to-death Soho joints soon enough.

10/10

The Palm Tree
127 Grove Rd
London
E3 5BH
020 8980 2918

Google Map