My Corner of Maine

Locks of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:18:00 +0000

Our daughter has had long hair for most of her life. It's been well past her waist for years.

Since Christmas, she's been talking about getting it trimmed or maybe having a few inches taken off. Then last week she decided she wanted to cut off the required amount to donate it to Locks of Love.

And that is just what she did...

Not only does she look a lot better, in my opinion, she also gave someone the gift of some very thick, curly hair.

Copyright © 2012 - Paulla Estes

Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:44:00 +0000

It's here.

Copyright © 2012 - Paulla Estes

Birthday Blues

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 13:20:00 +0000

Last night at a basketball game, a friend of ours said to me, "You are now the mother of three adults." That's because yesterday was our youngest daughter's 18th birthday. But wow - what a way to make a gal feel old.

The birthday girl's day began with her dad taking her out to breakfast as he's done every year of her life. Then she had to go on to school, which in my opinion, is just wrong. Don't you think kids should be given the day off on their birthdays? Of course, as a senior with a bad case of senioritis, she's taken many other days off so far this year, so I guess it all evens out.

Then she had a basketball game in the Bangor area, which is two-hours away from home. Being the devoted sports fans that we are, we made the trek up there, but we did it by coastal route. We even made a stop at my favorite Big Chicken Barn Antique & Used Book Store and had dinner at Dysart's Truck Stop. All this without the birthday girl, of course, who had to make the long trip by bus with her team - through freezing rain and slush.

The game was disappointing as she didn't play much and the entire team seemed to be in a funk. They lost to a team that is ranked far lower in the standings. As if that weren't enough, the coach, who had emailed all the parents telling them their daughters could ride home with them this ONE TIME, changed her mind after the loss and made the girls all ride back on the bus as punishment. This, after many parents made the long drive up to the game. Happy Birthday!

So we began the drive back, only to find that I-95 just south of Bangor was covered in ice and the snow was coming down fast and furious. We crept along at 25 and 30 MPH, only to see many cars slide right off the highway. It was a nail-biter, but we made it in just over three hours.

This morning, our newly adult daughter had to wake up early to go to her forced-volunteer job with the rest of her team of coaching elementary school children in the area, and then they have practice this afternoon. And then she works tonight. But we will celebrate SOMETIME. I have two - yes, TWO - cakes on order from The European Bakery and then - THEN - we will have fun.

Being the mom of three adults is much harder in many ways than being the mom of three small children. I would have disagreed if someone told me that at the time, because I'd have argued that at least the adults can wipe their own bottoms and tie their own shoes; but now I see that back then, at least I had some semblance of control over their lives.

These days, my babies have big kid problems over which I have very little control, if any at all. When they hurt or suffer, the most I can offer are hugs and prayers. Usually I have to stand back and watch from the sidelines (literally, in some cases) while they learn their own lessons and fight their own battles. And I have to smile strongly so they won't know it's absolutely killing me on the inside.

But that's what we moms do, isn't it?

So, for my girl who was recently voted class clown of her senior superlatives, here is one of her many senior picture photo shoots. This should clear up the whole "class clown" thing, in case there was ever any doubt.

Happy Birthday to my darling daughter who always makes us laugh. You are precious to me and will always be my baby girl, no matter what the calendar tells us.

Copyright © 2012 - Paulla Estes

The Frigid Maine Coast

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 11:59:00 +0000

Yesterday my daughter and I made the most of the incredibly sunny day, and we took a drive along the coast. It was cold outside, but the sunshine shone through the windshield and we got some much needed light therapy.

Notice the lack of snow.

This morning it is 5 degrees, windy, and we are stoking our wood stove.

Copyright © 2012 - Paulla Estes

Looking Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 13:12:00 +0000

I've heard many people commenting on how 2011 was for them. Many had a banner time, while many more are only too ready to say good-bye to such a tough year.

I realized yesterday that I hadn't taken the time to reflect on the year as a whole. I was too busy reflecting on the last couple of days, weeks, months. When I try to think about the year as a whole, it seems more like three or four years. It's been a long year, if nothing else, and it had its ups and downs.

So I've been looking back over photos and at this blog to see what exactly we did last year and WHY IT SEEMED SO LONG. The first thing I found was my New Year's Day Post from last year, and it didn't make me feel any better. This time last year, I was saying pretty much the same thing - that the year had been crazy, so crazy I was glad to see it go.

This causes me to pause and ask myself why all I ever remember are the bad times? Because life is hard? Sure it is, but it's also good.

So rather than gripe about how long and hard the year was, I choose to focus on the good: the fact that my second child graduated high school; the fact that my oldest is all grown up and I LIKE him; the fact that my husband still has a job - and one he really likes; the fact that although we are in debt, we can pay our bills; the fact that we have now been married 20 years, which is HUGE in this day and age; the fact that I have friends all over this great country, who are very dear to me; and of course the fact of good medical care.

I also choose to look forward. There is a lot of frustration and a lot of unknowns in our home right now, but there is also a lot of good. I choose to fixate on the good. I know I'll fail, because I always tend to fixate on the bad - but hey, it's good to have goals, right? :) Besides, I have this amazing family... imperfect and hard at times, but yet, there they are...

Happy New Year to you all, two days late. Better late than never? I think so.

Copyright © 2012 - Paulla Estes

Merry Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:35:00 +0000

Snow is falling lightly on the coast of Maine.

I might have shared this song before, but it never gets old for me. And it's so very true about the lovely state in which we live...

We've had a rough couple of weeks, but by God's grace, today was peaceful and lovely memories were made.

Merry Christmas and blessings to you all...

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Catching up...

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:54:00 +0000

It's a good thing I did the 30 days of Thanksgiving in November, because shortly into December, the sh-- pretty much hit the fan. Suddenly what we thought were relatively minor health issues in our family blew up in our faces.

We're holding our own and we're all together for Christmas (yay for kids home from college) and we're thankful that for now, all is well.

But setting myself up like that for being thankful was very helpful and therapeutic. Although I've been blindsided by a few things, I've been able to go back to being thankful, after the initial shock passed.

Today, everything is calm and a gentle snowfall has covered the yard, the driveway, and the streets; enough that we are now guaranteed a white Christmas.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Christmas Candles

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:24:00 +0000

My only decorating attempts so far...

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Full Calendar

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:20:00 +0000

Day Thirty - My Husband

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:46:00 +0000

When I met my husband on our blind date just over 20 years ago, I'm not sure if there was ever a date I wanted to go on less than that one. I had just come out of a 2-year relationship that ended in lie after lie being revealed, and lots of ugliness. As I mentioned in my post about my in-laws, I only agreed to meet Todd to be a sport and to get out of town for a couple of days. Besides, he was leaving the next week to move to California. I'd never see him again, so what did I have to lose?

I was living in D.C. at the time, and we met in the Virginia Beach area in late July. The weather was typical - hot and humid; emphasis on HOT. And HUMID. When he picked me up at the hotel where I was staying with my parents, he was early and I wasn't finished drying my hair. I asked him in to sit in the hotel room to wait, and the room was a mess. It was clear that he was unimpressed, but I was also unimpressed with his stoic face and lack of a smile. Our plan was to drive a half hour or so to a nearby town to see some kind of wild animal park, and then go to Historic Williamsburg. All I could think of when I first met him was, Geez, it's going to be a long day.

Yet, he WAS cute. In a non-smiling sort of way.

We got into his truck and the A/C wasn't working very well. Soon I was dying in a pool of sweat, while we tried to make small talk. Knowing now how much we both HATE small talk, I have to laugh at our efforts back then. One of the first things he told me was that in college, he had majored in history, to which I responded, "Deliberately?" Yeah, I couldn't shake being a smart ass, especially since I wasn't going to see this guy again anyway. Knowing now how seriously he takes history, and his background in it, it's a wonder he didn't throw me out of the truck. And I would have thanked him, as it had to be cooler OUTSIDE the truck, on the side of the highway.

We walked around the wild animal park, still sweating and still making small talk, but at one point, he sort of smiled. And then he made a joke. It was a goofy joke, but there it was. Wow - Grumpy has a sense of humor! Maybe this day wouldn't turn out to be as torturous as I originally feared.

Afterward, as we were driving to Williamsburg (which, I might add, I had visited before, and had no desire to visit again) it began to rain. It rained HARD. We found a parking space in the packed lot near a restaurant in the historic part of town where we'd planned to have lunch, but the rain was coming down in sheets so we just sat in the truck talking and waiting for it to subside a bit.

It didn't.

If nothing else, the rain came down harder. After about 15 minutes, we decided to make a run for it. It was about a 100 yard run through the parking lot and down a sidewalk to the front of the restaurant. By the time we got there, we were completely drenched. My cute little 80s poofy hairstyle I'd fixed while he waited in the messy hotel room was now a thing of the past. Our clothes were also soaked through. But hey, at least now we were no longer hot and sweaty.

The restaurant had a long wait, so we stood in the lobby with about a million other drenched tourists, but now we were laughing. Yes - he not only smiled, HE LAUGHED.

After lunch, the rain had subsided and cooled things off. We walked around historic Williamsburg and he pointed out all the historical sites. I pretended I was impressed, but I enjoyed his handsome face and elusive smile much more than the sites. We passed by several shops. When we got to the Laura Ashley shop, he paused and asked if I wanted to go in. I said, "No way," probably a bit too abruptly. He didn't know it then, but I'm a blue jeans girl (I was actually wearing cut offs, so it might have clued him in) and I told him Laura Ashley was just not me. He smiled again and looked relieved. Apparently his mother had told him I'd probably like that shop. Ha. She knows better now. :)

By this time, the jokes were coming more and more often, and were more and more silly. But I was beginning to be smitten, so I thought they were hilarious. And then... we went into a book store.

Understand that I am not much of a shopper. A trip to the mall is not my idea of a good time. I go because I have to - not because I want to. In fact, the only thing I like about the mall is the food court, and the book store, if there is one. That said, book stores are one of my favorite places in the world. Turns out my blind date felt the same way. Suddenly, we'd found our common interest - we started walking up and down the aisles, talking about books, comparing books we'd read, sharing books we hadn't. And this was the clincher - he was the first guy I'd ever gone out with who had read more books than I had. My heart fluttered.

When we got back to the hotel later that day, he asked me out to dinner that evening. We spent the whole next day together, going to the beach with my then 4-year-old son, and then out to dinner again that evening. After dinner, we walked to his truck in the parking garage, where we talked for another few hours.

The next day, I left to go back home to D.C. and he left to move to California. But when I left again a few days later for a vacation in Colorado, he re-routed his coast-to-coast drive so he could come spend a few days with me. It was then that I knew.

A couple of visits, many long phone calls, and five months later, we were married. Twenty years later, the only thing I'd change is that we'd have gotten married sooner. When you know, you know.

The years haven't always been easy. Many times they were downright awful, and there were times I honestly didn't think we'd make it to ten years, let alone twenty. But here we are. I'm thankful we stuck it out during the bad times. I'm thankful we made the best of the good times. I'm thankful his mom had the idea that we ought to meet in the first place. I'm thankful for our children and the joy we've found in raising them. I'm also thankful that he is my best friend and that we are still enjoying each other now that the children are growing up and leaving.

Getting married is easy. Staying married is hard. But I highly recommend it. It's so worth it. Take it from one who knows first hand. :)

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Nine - Books

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:05:00 +0000

I am thankful for books. This goes without saying. Show me a writer who doesn't like to read, and I'll show you someone who really doesn't know how to write.

I've been reading as long as I can remember. My mom was a kindergarten teacher before I was born, so she made me her guinea pig and tried to teach me to read at age 3, just to see if it would work. It did. I've been reading ever since.

Of course, my choices in reading material haven't always been good, edifying, or helpful. Some of it has been downright harmful.

When I was about 11-years-old, someone introduced me to romance novels, many of which were downright smutty. Nothing could be worse for an 11-year-old to read. Sort of like letting little girls watch or listen to fairy tales over and over - romance novels set me up for huge disappointments in my late teens and early adulthood. To date, my young adult daughters have never read romance novels, and I hope they never will.

In middle school, I discovered horror stories. Although my mother forbid me to read it, I scored a contraband copy of The Amityville Horror and read it each day to and from school on the bus. I was captivated. But it also scared the hell out of me. To this day, if I wake up at 3:15 a.m., I get freaked out. And the idea of a pig named Jodie with red eyes can still send shivers down my spine.

It was during college that I discovered John Steinbeck. I had read Of Mice and Men and Cannery Row in high school, but The Grapes of Wrath was the book that completely blew me away. I also had a wonderful literature professor who introduced us very gently and lovingly to William Faulkner's Go Down, Moses. It was a tough book, but she gave us a family tree that paved the way. Trust me, if you read the book, you NEED the family tree. I held onto my battered copy for years until I realized I could find it on the internet.

Over the years I've read thousands of books. Many were books I required my children to read during our homeschooling years, and many others I read to them aloud. I've read cheap, fluffy novels and deep, rich classics. As the years go by, I tend to put down more books before finishing them, than I used to. If a book doesn't "grab me" by the 2nd chapter, back it goes to the library or into the giveaway pile. The thrilling times are when I pick up a book I've never heard of and find it to be a gem. Recently for me, that includes Renato's Luck, by Jeff Shapiro; Lit, by Mary Karr; and now I'm reading City of Thieves, by David Benioff.

And of course, my battered old Bible has been a mainstay in my reading over the years. Imagine, God decided to communicate to us through the written word. I love that.

I'm thankful for all the books in my life, past and present, much like I'm thankful for the people. Ernest Hemingway said "There is no friend as loyal as a book." Well, Hemingway was a brilliant writer, but he had issues. I don't think of my books as friends, but more as mentors or security blankets. The characters inside them, however, are as real to me as my real-life family and friends.

What I wouldn't give to join in a conversation with Adam Trask, Sam Hamilton and Lee Chong from East of Eden. I re-read their conversations occasionally, laughing and weeping at the words that always manage to surprise me. Yes, I couldn't finish this without mentioning East of Eden as my all time favorite book, past, present, and probably future.

When someone asks, what book would you take to a deserted island if you could only take one? I just say - I'll go down with the ship. There's no way I could choose just one.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Eight - My Neighbors

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 02:04:00 +0000

I've lived in a lot of different places, sometimes multiple homes/apartments in the same general area. Needless to say, I've had all types of neighbors.

When I was in high school, there was a boy who lived across the street that seemed to want to terrorize people. He had issues, and his story is sad, but back then, he was just a punk who peeped into people's windows and left broken glass at the end of their driveways. Our who family was glad to move away from that neighbor.

When my children were little and we lived in Navy Housing, every house on the block had at least three children (it was required to live there) so it was pretty much a free-for-all. Truly, I'd probably hate that now, but it was in Southern California and the kids could play outside year round and I LOVED it. Even when some of the neighbor kids were annoying.

Today in Maine, we live in a quiet neighborhood where most of the kids have grown up here, so a lot of them have moved on. There are a few young families, but not many. It is quiet. Wonderfully quiet.

But it's my immediate neighbors that make this home so delightful. We have one set of neighbors who shares our love of cats, and we take turns cat-sitting for one another when one of us goes out of town. We have a neighbor right next door who is our own personal neighborhood watch. He always knows what's going on and he looks out for everyone. He has been battling leukemia for the past few years (and winning, I might add!) and he is a wonderful neighbor. There is another family down the street a bit who also looks out for others. This summer, they replaced their front stoop, so they gave us their old (good) one. They are so kind.

We don't see any of these neighbors as often as one might think. Not only are we all busy with our lives, our homes are set back from the street and hugged by trees, and let's face it - Maine winters aren't very conducive to chatting it up with a neighbor over the back fence. More likely, we share a cold wave and nod while plowing our driveways or scurrying down our icy paths to get the mail.

Although we don't see each other often, I know my neighbors have my back, and I have theirs. That is something for which I am very, very thankful.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Seven - Texting

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:55:00 +0000

I am thankful for cell phones. And I just have one question: what DID we do before cell phones? How did I survive high school in the 80s without being able to text anyone? How did my mom know when to pick me up from school? How did any of us communicate at all?

We made the best of our primitive circumstances, didn't we? We actually had to plan ahead for rides. And we had to pick up the phone (the one attached to a wall) if we wanted to chat with a friend.

There are some things about this technology-obsessed world that I don't like. But I LOVE cell phones. Even though I'm not supposed to do it, I text my kids while they're in class at school. Hey, they're MY kids and I'm paying taxes for that school; I'll do what I want.

I also love that I can communicate quickly with someone without having to go through all the pleasantries that come with a phone call. Texting saves time. Rather than a 10-minute chit chat, I can say - "Still meeting at 10?" And get a response within minutes or even seconds - "Yep." And there you go, conversation over.

Even my mom and dad have embraced texting. My dad and I text back and forth during football games - me in Maine and him in California. We talk about the game without actually TALKING during the game. No interruptions, just - "Did you see THAT?" Or "Tebow did it again!"

So if you don't have a cell phone or if you're not a texter, you might not ever hear from me.

Just so you know.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Six - Parties

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:45:00 +0000

Today I am thankful for parties. Usually when we go to a party or have a party, we'll say, "Aw, we really ought to do that more often." But we never do. And really, if we did, that would take the fun out of it.

There are some people we only see when we go to parties, but we always have fun with them. We always say we ought to get together with them at other times, but life is so busy and we never do. Maybe we will when we have our empty nest; or when the weather gets warmer; or when we get out of debt;... or maybe we never will. Maybe that's as far as that relationship will go.

And that's OK. That's where we are in our lives right now. And that's why I'm thankful for the parties. :)

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Five - Good Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:06:00 +0000

This is the smallest Thanksgiving we've had since... since we were first married. And actually, we liked it that way. There was no schedule to keep, we were extremely casual in our dining, we didn't have to make the house especially presentable and we didn't have to go anywhere.

Over the nearly 20 years that we've been married, we've had Thanksgiving with various friends and family members, sometimes at our house and sometimes at the homes of others. In the past few years, our closest relatives have been doing their own thing, so it's just been us and our kids. But then on Saturday evening after Thanksgiving, we have some friends who throw an After-Thanksgiving-Leftovers-Party.

This is a wonderful idea because it is low key and you can bring anything you want. It doesn't have the coziness and intimacy associated with Thanksgiving, but it has all the fun and celebration of more like a New Year's Eve Party.

But yesterday, in thinking about all the things for which I'm thankful, I found that good friends is up near the top of my list. Having lived all over the country I have left friends here and there along the way. Consequently, I've suffered through many good-byes, but I also have people to visit if/when I go back. I'm thinking of my friend Lori, in Colorado; my friends Connie, Bob & Nicole and Kelley & Evan in San Diego; my friend Kellie in Missouri; my friends Debbie and Jackie in Virginia; my friend Becky right here in my neighborhood; not to mention all my Internet Friends I talked about earlier this month. Those online friends have become real life friends and they know who they are.

There is also my very special friend, Michelle, who died a few years ago, but whose voice I can still hear when I wonder "what Michelle would say about that." Her death at a young age was a shock and still is, and I will never forget her.

What would life be without our friends? I've sat here trying to write a sentence summing up what my friends mean to me, and I find I don't have the words. Of course I think of my husband as my best friend, and he is, but my other friends, even the ones I don't see or talk to regularly, have been there for me at times when perhaps my husband wasn't around (Navy deployments) or if HE happened to be the one I was mad at (not that that's ever happened). :)

My friends have helped to make me who I am today. Thank you, friends. I couldn't survive this crazy world without you.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Four - Happy Thanksgiving!

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 22:19:00 +0000

This 30 days of Thanksgiving has been a very good thing for me. I realize I should be doing this every day of the YEAR, not just in November. It's changed my perspective and my attitude.

Today, among all the other things I've already listed for which I'm thankful (and all the things I still have to list) I am thankful for GOOD FOOD. What other day of the year do we celebrate with such bounty?

If you've never done so, today (or someday soon) you ought to go visit my friend Barb's delicious website, My Sister's Kitchen. If you get there and don't know where to start, just start with the Orange Pecan Rolls. And after that, go check out her Sourdough Bread Recipe. I've tried these recipes myself (and many more) and I can guarantee their tasty goodness.

We had a small, quiet Thanksgiving day here on the Maine coast. We got seven inches of snow yesterday, so it was a beautiful, crisp morning with a blue sky and frozen trees. My two older children are both in school out on the West Coast, so they went to New Mexico to spend the holiday with my mom. They got to see their grandma, she got to have company, and they are getting a much needed break. Win win win!

So here at our house, it was just me, my husband, and our youngest, who will also be off in college this time next year. We made a modest Thanksgiving dinner together, and enjoyed ourselves immensely. We talked about all the things for which we are thankful, and now we're watching football and eating pie.

I want this attitude of thankfulness to stay with us long after Thanksgiving has passed. My hope and prayer is that we will show our thanks and FEEL thankful all the time; because we all know we have so much for which to be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and God bless.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Three - Heated Seats

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 20:29:00 +0000

I discovered heated car seats when we got our mini-van (the one that was totaled last year). Back when I was in high school, I used to have to wear my cheer-leading uniform to school on game days. For whatever reason, I didn't have a long coat, and apparently I wasn't smart enough to keep a blanket in the old car I used to drive, so my legs were... cold, to say the least.

And then I came to Maine and technology blossomed and now we have heated seats. I didn't even know about them until we got the mini-van. It was an older van, but it had leather seats. Ooooh yeah, leather seats - everyone seems to like those. But sitting on a leather seat in a car that's been in sub-zero temperatures all night can be torturous.

But crank up that heated seat about five minutes before you get in the car and... ahhhhh.

My little Volkswagen (the one that replaced the totaled mini-van) has heated seats, as does the jeep we bought my daughter a few months ago. Our cars might be old and have a lot of miles on them, but our tushies will be warm in the winter.

And on days like this...

I am so thankful for those heated seats!

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-Two - Freedom of Speech

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:48:00 +0000

It's rather ironic that I am thankful for Freedom of Speech, as I so often proclaim that half the known world (especially the world that is found on radio and TV) just needs to shut up. (I say half the known world when I really just mean here in our country.) The reality is that although I would like to silence quite a few folks out there, it goes both ways. If I can say my piece, so can they. It's the American Way.

But it's more than just saying what we please. I am thankful that we don't live in fear because of something we've said or written. There are places in this world where saying or writing the wrong thing will get you killed.

Here we are free to voice our opinions, our dissent, our praises, and our frustrations. We are free to proclaim our desires, air out our differences, and most of all - we are free to think. To THINK.

There are those in our country who would like to squelch this freedom, but it will not happen. For too long we have been a nation of free and passionate thinkers. It's what makes us great.

A couple of days ago on Facebook, I saw that two of my daughter's high school friends had posed for a photograph. The young man was wearing an anti-Obama sweatshirt, and the young woman was wearing a pro-Obama shirt. They were standing arm-in-arm. They are friends. Many mutual friends commented and several spoke up as to which shirt THEY would be seen wearing. But all agreed that it was a very cool picture.

They spoke their piece. They disagreed. They are still friends.

A few elections ago, I had a friend who asked me whom I was going to vote for in the presidential election. When she discovered that we were not in agreement, she ended the friendship then and there. Her words were, "I cannot be friends with a person who would vote for him." I was stung, but I realized she obviously wasn't much of a friend in the first place.

And I thought it was rather infantile and closed-minded. I had already known we weren't in agreement, politically; I had just never pointed it out. I was OK with it. Apparently she was not.

Wouldn't it be boring if we all thought and believed the same way? How would we learn? How would we stretch our minds and explore new ideas?

I want to be like the two high school students with the opposing messages on their shirts: standing arm in arm and smiling. Oh, that we could all be like them.

That is the American Way. And I am very thankful for it.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty-One - Freedom of Religion

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:16:00 +0000

I once heard an interesting comparison of religion here in the United States to that in communist nations. Here we have freedom OF religion, but communism promises freedom FROM religion. This is an important distinction and one that is often forgotten.

Religion has always been a huge part of our country, as many of the very first immigrants came here to escape religious oppression, or simply to worship in their own way. Since then, millions more have come with the promise that they can practice their religion any way they choose.

But today there are those who think that the separation of church and state means that religion should have no part in our government buildings, our schools, or even in public places. There are also those who think that everyone in the U.S. should be part of their religion, and they will go to great lengths to try to make that happen.

Both parties are wrong. We are not a Christian nation nor a Muslim nation nor a Jewish nation. We are a free nation. As a Christian, I am thankful this is not a Christian nation, because I wouldn't want the government telling me how to worship my God.

Yet we also are not an Atheistic nation. Most of our people practice some type of religion and should be free to do so. Rather than keeping religion out of our buildings and our schools, we should be teaching our children about our rich heritage and encouraging them to seek something bigger than themselves.

I am thankful that our founding fathers saw the importance of letting religion be a choice. My prayer (yes, prayer) is that that will never change.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Twenty - My Grandparents

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:43:00 +0000

I lost both my dad's parents before I was in my teens. They lived in Texas, where we visited them a few times at their conservative little house in Waco, and I remember when they came to Colorado to visit us. But then before I was really old enough to understand all the ramifications of it, they were brought to a nursing home in our town. My grandfather died within months and my grandmother died a few years later.

My mom's parents were a different story. Her father died when I was a baby, so other than through photos, I have no memory of him. Her mother, however, passed away last year just weeks shy of her 95th birthday. She was my Nana.

As opposed to my other three grandparents, I knew Nana. I have memories of her that span four decades. She was a huge part of my life, even though we never even lived in the same town.

But interestingly, all my grandparents were instrumental in my life and in how I became who I am today. They carried on traditions, passed on personality traits, and taught my parents ideas, values, and even bad habits, that now are part of me.

My grandparents, like everyone else on this planet, were flawed people, but through my own parents, they gave me life. But more specifically, they gave me a love for reading and education, a zeal for life, a commitment to family, a love for other people, and a faith in God. Yes, they also gave me a tendency toward arrogance and discontent, as well as quite a few other negatives... but I choose to focus on the good.

My goal is to take the blessings my grandparents passed on to me, and leave that for my children. I can't say I haven't left them some of the negatives as well, but I'm trying not to. That's where self-control comes in.

I don't want to use my grandparents (or parents for that matter) as an excuse for the bad, but as a launching point for the good.

A big thank you to my grandparents - for being themselves. Although they will never be remembered in our nation's history books, they mattered. They mattered to me.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Nineteen - The Local Public Schools

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 21:06:00 +0000

The day after my post about being thankful for homeschooling, it might seem odd to say that I am thankful for the local public schools, but I am.

Let me be clear - if I had to raise children all over again, I'd want to do it the same way. I'd want homeschool them until high school. Having children spend every day with very large groups of their peers is not a good thing, in my opinion. I work in the schools and I see the pack mentality, the bullying, and the ostracizing. Plus, there are the kids that are unintentionally ignored in class either because they are smart or because they don't have behavior problems. In other words, the "good" kids are the ones that often aren't getting their needs met.

The teachers, however, are gems. I sub in all the schools in our district, from elementary to high school, and every day I see people who are overworked and underpaid, yet they love these children and have dedicated their lives to them. In so many ways, the teachers' hands are tied. Most forms of discipline are no longer allowed, and countless children come to school without having had any sort of training or discipline at home.

The teachers can only do so much, and the kids know it. Consequently, the loudest and most obnoxious kids get all the attention because they can't be put into a corner, spanked, or even sent home. In fact, usually they are sent off with another teacher or ed tech to have alone time, but most of them see it as a treat, rather than a punishment. After all, they are being singled out, they are getting out of class, and they are getting a special privilege. The "good" kids see it this way too. It's very sad. I've actually seen the good kids act up in hopes that they will get to go for a walk with Mrs. So-and-So.

Yet the teachers keep coming back day after day, year after year, doing what they CAN. They try new things, they persevere, and somehow, miraculously, the kids do learn. Because that is what those teachers are - miracle workers.

Last week I attended the National Honor Society induction ceremony at the high school, and I saw 40 or so students who are the best and the brightest in our town. The vast majority of those kids were brought up right here in our small-town Maine public school system, and now they are successful, smart, and college bound. Much of it is because of those persevering teachers back in the elementary and middle schools.

When I was homeschooling, people marveled and claimed they could never do what I did - that it was just too hard. Even now when I mention that I used to homeschool, most people, even the public school teachers pause and talk about how difficult it must be. But let me tell you, I've seen both sides. Homeschooling is a walk in the park compared to being a teacher in the public schools. They are on the front lines, battling the problems that are plaguing our country right now as a whole - mainly, the lack of discipline and self-absorption - a dangerous combination.

I started subbing with the plan to go back to school to get certified to teach, but this past year has shown me that I simply don't have what it takes. I trained and disciplined my own children in my own home, and they were a delight to teach. They learned and they thrived, and they didn't have to wait for a half a dozen discipline-problem kids to be fixed before we went on with our lessons. In other words, we didn't waste time.

I don't know what the answer is. Not everyone can homeschool, and many folks shouldn't - what a disaster that would be. Yet, something has to be done. Discipline needs to re-enter the schools. Either way, the public school teachers have my full support and I thank God that they are bringing up our nation's future generations.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Eighteen - The Privilege of Homeschooling

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 11:42:00 +0000

It's difficult to express how thankful I am that we were able to homeschool our children. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, nor is it even possible for a lot of families. But when our oldest was having trouble in school at age eight, and the schools in California were... lacking, I am thankful we were able to pull him out and do it ourselves.

When I first started homeschooling my son and the girls were still toddlers, I figured I'd only do it for a year, to get him caught up. After the first year, it seemed like a good idea to do one more year. After that year, we thought we were going to move out of California, so for continuity, we continued to homeschool. By then, our middle daughter was joining in, and learning to read at the age of four.

By the time we did finally move to Maine, I was still saying we'd take it year to year. And then when my son hit middle school and the girls were well into elementary school, I figured, why mess with a good thing?

This spring, my oldest will graduate with his Master's Degree, my middle daughter will finish her freshman year in college, and my youngest will graduate from the local public high school. They are confident, strong, and they are not easily influenced by their peers. In fact, I think that is the biggest benefit of homeschooling. Homeschooled kids don't normally rely on their peers for their self worth; and that is a really, really good thing.

This is one of the things in my life for which I am so thankful, and if I had to do it all over again, I certainly would.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Seventeen - Power, Water, etc.

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Here in Maine, we lose power each winter. Sometimes even in the summer. We have a wood-burning stove, so heat in the winter is never an issue. But if the power is out for more than 12 hours or so, we have to move all our refrigerated food out into the garage, where the temperature in winter rarely gets above freezing.

We've never lost water, thankfully, but we are prepared just in case, with several gallon jugs of water waiting for that day that hopefully will never come.

After Hurricane Irene back in late summer/early fall, and then with the surprise late October snow storm, my husband is lobbying to get a generator. Lobbying because we've lived all these years in Maine without one. Maybe we're getting soft in our old age. Or maybe it's worth spending $800 to know that if we lose power in the warm months, we won't lose all the food in our refrigerator and freezer. And if we lose it in the winter, we'll still have TV. And microwaved popcorn. Priorities, you know.

Each time the power goes out, it causes our family to pause; not only because suddenly there is very little to do in this technology-powered world, but also because it makes us grateful for what we're missing. When the power goes out, it's a little fun because we light candles and read and play cards. Or sometimes we just go to bed early. Imagine!

But when the power comes back on, I always feel incredibly thankful. For the lights, of course, but also the hot water, my hair dryer, the microwave, and the washing machine. Especially the washing machine!

Yay for power!

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Sixteen - Modern Medicine

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 20:04:00 +0000

I think it's safe to say that we're all thankful for modern medicine. With the chaotic mess that is now our nation's health care, let's not lose sight of the fact that although the system may be broken, the product is not.

We have made unbelievable advances in medical care in just the last century. In fact, in just the last 50 years. Heck, in the last decade.

And not only am I thankful that there are now treatments for cancer, what about Novocaine and antibiotics? Childhood immunizations and flu shots? Ibuprofen and NyQuil? We live in a country where many types of medicine are available in every corner drug store.

I am thankful for modern medicine. My hope, however, is that every person on the planet can have access to that medicine. It is a tragedy that people are dying because of a lack of simple medications that we take for granted here in this country.

If you know me personally, you know I have a love/hate relationship with the medical community here in Maine. I won't go into it all now, but it's not the individual health care professionals that are the problem (well, ok some of them perhaps, but most are wonderful), rather, it's the bureaucrazy. Yes, you read that right. BUREAUCRAZY.

Yet, I am thankful. Very, very thankful.

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes

Day Fifteen - My Treadmill

noreply@blogger.com (Paulla) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 11:27:00 +0000

About eight years ago, we bought an exercise bike. I was running regularly, but with Maine winters being what they are, I thought the exercise bike would suffice on those days when the weather or the temperature made it too awful to be exercising outside. And we found a cheap one for just over $100. No such thing as a decent treadmill anywhere near that price.

I rode that bike maybe a dozen times before I remembered how much I hate riding a bike. When you're not into bike riding, choosing a stationary bike for exercise is not the best idea. Before long, it became a clothing rack. Then it finds a new home in the garage. Now it lives with my in-laws.

I've always wanted a treadmill, but I wanted a good one (read that: one we can't afford) and I've been afraid to spend the money only to find that it turns out just like the exercise bike. So instead, I've spent money on outdoor weather gear such as Under Armor and Smart Wool socks Still, when there is ice on the street or it's windy and snowing or if the temperature is more than 10 below... there are simply times during Maine winters when it's not safe to be exercising outdoors.

So earlier this year when we were surprised by a decent tax return, we took the plunge and bought a good treadmill. Not a professional treadmill, like one would find in a gym, but a very nice home treadmill. Part of the agreement for getting it was that my husband would finally start exercising regularly.

Since then, I've been walking and running way more than I ever did before. We put the treadmill in our basement where it's nice and cool, and all summer while I was training for the marathon, if it rained or was too hot and humid to go out, I used the treadmill and watched TV.

That's key - you do need music or TV with the treadmill, or it's boring as hell.

Now I've gotten addicted to knowing EXACTLY how fast I'm walking or running at any given moment, and I love that it tells me how many calories I've burned. Not only that, I am a morning exerciser. With the treadmill, on the days I work early, I can start running not long after 4:00am without worrying about darkness, ice, or wild animals. (Ok, there aren't many wild animals in our area other than squirrels, but you never know.)

And guess what. My husband is exercising regularly for THE FIRST TIME in all the years that we've been married. That's nearly 20 years.

I have a feeling that this year the winter won't be quite so horrible for me. Of course, that's just a hunch.

In any event, I am very thankful for my treadmill on oh so many levels!

Copyright © 2011 - Paulla Estes