That sign again. “Beware of the coatis”. This was the third time I’d seen it. Walking along the lower circuit in the Iguazu National Park, I was completely unaware of what a coati was. I began to imagine some huge jungle beast lurking in the undergrowth, scavenging for food and attacking people for their last crisp. Told to keep my bag closed and any food out of sight, I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind and once again focused on what was around me.

My friend and I had caught a bus from Buenos Aires to catch a glimpse of Iguazu Falls, one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World and one of the top attractions in Argentina. Sitting on the border between Argentina and Brazil, the falls are the result of a geological fault; the waters of Iguazu River crash down, spreading out over a distance of almost 3km.

The air was moist and the sound of trickling water followed us along the path. With every corner we turned on the walkway, high above the river, the volume increased; the gentle trickling turned to a splashing noise, until the air was filled with the sound of cascading water, plummeting to the depths below. Butterflies fluttered in every direction, becoming a somewhat constant feature of my peripheral vision. Every few metres we came across another waterfall, gradually growing in size, each one making the last seem insignificant.

The closer we got to the great waterfalls the mistier it became. The sheer force of the water as it crashes down produces a wet foggy haze and as a result there were rainbows everywhere I looked. Yet to see a coati, I still hadn’t put the mysterious creatures completely out of my mind, but I was now of the belief that a sighting was probably a rare occurrence and told myself not to worry.

And then, all thoughts of coatis flew out of my mind as the falls came into view. A wall of water framed by a verdant misty landscape and illuminated by sunlight and rainbows overtook my senses; the damp green smell, the tremendous roar of the water, the wet air and the incredible sight of Iguazu Falls. Standing beneath one of the smaller waterfalls we got completely soaked, immersing ourselves in the incredible beauty of the falls. But the best was yet to come.

We returned the next day to see to the Devil’s Throat, the gigantic U shaped waterfall which is the main attraction of the park. No coatis in sight, we set off on the pathway, winding across the river.

A cloud of water rose up from the middle of the river, as if something was bubbling up from down below. The air was thick with moisture and the sound resonated in my ears. At certain times of the year the volume of water is so high that you can’t see the waterfall for all the spray that comes off it. The mist hovered in the air, concealing the drop below us. The sight of the water crashing down over the rocks before vanishing in a puff of smoke was intense. Peering over the railing, all I could see beneath my feet was a steady stream of water running over the edge of the grassy rocks. From there it disappeared into the cloudy abyss, ceasing to exist. But even though what lay below was hidden, I could feel it with every ounce of my being, the power of the water an overwhelming force taking control of my senses.

On the way back we stopped at a picnic area to have a sandwich and rest our feet. I still hadn’t caught a glimpse of a coati and was feeling very pleased about it. No sooner had I breathed a sigh of relief than six fuzzy critters came running over to our table having caught a whiff of our food.

“Oh look, there’s a whole bunch of coatis!”

The exclamation from a nearby table alerted me to the species of our new companions. They were not quite the gigantic horrifying beasts I had imagined; in fact they are a type of raccoon, small in size and ginger in colour, with striped tails. Nevertheless I was up on my chair in a millisecond, screaming at my friend to get rid of them. They may look cute but I had been warned of their bite and I wasn’t going to be fooled. Eventually they scarpered, my sandwich still intact, my nerves shot to pieces. That’s when I spotted a snake out of the corner of my eye. It was time to move on. As we made our way back out of the park, eyes peeled for coatis, I walked straight past a sign saying: “Beware of the pumas“.

A coati. Credit Photo Flickr: Alex E. Proimos

Iguazu Falls: Water Water Everywhere

This week on #TTOT, we propped up the bar to discuss the many and varying drinks from around the world, and we were keeping tabs on the customary chit-chat. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits, as Travel Talk on Twitter overflowed with beverages ranging from the domestic (local beer), to the disgusting (snake blood wine), and the downright divine (insert any tropical cocktail here). Before we call last orders on the proceedings, here are our Shout Outs for top tipple tweeting…best enjoyed irresponsibly.  

The questions this week were:

Q1. What’s your favourite way to say “cheers” that you’ve learned on your travels?

Q2. What drink personifies your travel style, and why?

Q3. Name the best bar you’ve ever been to in the world!

Q4. What is the most bizarre drink you’ve had on the road?

Q5. What drink just says “I am on holiday” to you?

The ‘You’re Asp-ing For It’ Shout Out for really nutty refreshments.     

@detourdumonde: I did love the Vietnamese one where I drank vodka + snake’s blood. Good atmosphere and it tastes like peanut butter. Try it with some insects skewer. It will make your day.

The ‘Angkors Away!’ Shout Out for liquid let-downs.   

@AnisIbrahim: A ‘happy shake’ in Cambodia. Not as bizarre as I wanted it to be.

The ‘Tequila Mocking Blurred’ Shout Out for apocalyptic aperitifs.

@JustChuckinIt: Four Horseman shot – Johny, Jack, Jim, and José mixed together. I fell through a table that night.

The ‘Gin’ll Fix It’ Shout Out for resorting to Empirical measures.

@katieinprague: Tonic contains quinine, used by British troops in India. I only drink for medicinal purposes (clearly).

The ‘Fizzically Fit’ Shout Out for remaining tea-total.  

@fromthetreetops: Fizzy tea (“Tebs, tea with shocking soda”) and sparkling coffee, both available in your local store here in Indonesia.

The ‘That’s The Yeast Of Your Worries’ Shout Out for grappa-ling with speech.  

@moving_sushi:  Local moonshine in Gabon makes your tongue go numb after one glass.

The ‘Absolutely Hammer-head’ Shout Out for Koh so hyper Hellos.   

@BradfordKeen: Shark energy drink in Thailand. It is grim and was forced on me by a very energetic man.

The ‘Spear Us The Thought’ Shout Out for Moroccan mishaps.    

@premium_ch: Mint tea with a caterpillar in it in Marrakech.. .bleurgh.

The ‘Hairy Likers’ Shout Out for a shot, back and sides.  

@OnTheRoadToYou: More fun when women join in with shots – looking forward to seeing the hairs on their chests.

The ‘All Bar None’ Shout Out for a having a real Sophie’s Choice moment.

@gAdventures: Favourite bar? That’s like picking your favourite child.

The ‘Cultured Learnings’ Shout Out for gradually going insaline.  

@Mikeachim: Yes, the thought of *warm* salty yoghurt is making a part of my mind rock back & forth, shrieking.

The ‘Beyond All Riesling’ Shout Out for Grenache-ing your teeth.

@nickhealy: Wine in a can is so wrong.

The ‘Truth or Derriere’ Shout Out for rear-ly brilliant bar time traditions.

@Jeanied1: I think the oh-so-English “Bottoms up!” takes some beating.

Got a flair for the theatrical? We don’t reckon we could give this chap a rum for his money. Until next time travel tweeters!

#TTOT Shout Outs! Topic: Drinks (Types & Customs)

Ever inspired by the travel tips and tales we hear from our Big Blogger interviewees, My Destination has turned to Jeannie Mark, a.k.a Nomadic Chick, to give us her take on travel, and to fill us in on her exciting plans for 2012.

You recently revealed your exciting summer plans to the online travel community:  In July you will be journeying to Spain for a girls’ holiday…with a big difference! You and four other crazy brave female bloggers are going to run with the bulls in Pamplona. Now this might be an obvious question, but dare we ask…why?

Besides the crazy aspect, I grew fascinated with the event, as it is so male dominated, fraught with misconceptions. One thing that fuelled me more to do this was someone in a thread on Facebook who said that it is illegal for women to run. When things like that are still being uttered in 2012, something needs changing.

The Running of the Bulls can be very dangerous and you’ll certainly need your wits about you; how are you planning to prepare, mentally and physically?

The festival of San Fermin has been recorded in history since the 14^th century. We’re now in the 21^st century. Out of that lengthy time period, only fifteen people have died. Planning will involve walking the route we choose to take prior to running, mentally preparing for possible injury (hey – it is a reality), as well as triumph and keeping cardio up on the physical aspect. The run itself lasts about four minutes. The key is not to run in the middle of the street, or if you’re drunk or tired.

Although some women may not run due to social restraints and discouragement, many just aren’t as keen as men to hurl themselves down a track whilst being pursued by a wild-eyed bull… What message are you hoping they might glean from your actions?

Of course!  People are multi-dimensional, and running beside testosterone-filled bulls may not be one of their travelling dreams. I think the one message I’d like to send is that just because someone tells you shouldn’t do something for x, y, or z reasons, it doesn’t mean you can’t, or shouldn’t. As a personal milestone, I’d like to say I did it once.

You like to big up independent, successful ladies on your blog; would you say that the challenges female travellers face are decreasing, increasing, or changing in any way?

I’d say decreasing. Ten years ago I was still travelling the way I do now and received more criticism for it. When I told my best friends I planned to travel to Brazil in 2008, many said they would never go to that country alone. North American and European women rely less on men for financial security and can do more out in the world; some women squabble over this point, but the feminist movement shaped how young woman act today: boldly, without fear and independently.

What is the biggest misconception people have about you as a female traveller?

That I’m a delicate flower. Everyone loves their creature comforts, as do I, but I can take more than most assume. Just today a well-meaning fella who owns a tourism company in Pamplona compared the fiesta to a third world country (he actually used those words) – vomit all over the place, drunken revellers, me being tired and missing meals – I’m sure he was trying to paint a realistic scene, but the message was a bit dramatic and felt like a scare tactic. Spain is a first-world country and the only thing he described was a massive city party. I felt like replying, “Let’s drop you in the middle of a village in India where the power goes out, rats emerge from the walls and all you have are bucket baths.  That’s third-world, dude.”

You are very open and honest in your writing, especially in your explanation of why you travel. Do you think men and women travel differently? Do they have different motivations for exploring the world?

I think the motivations are mostly similar: soak in culture, find stories, meet people and see places.  The experiences for each gender, however, are different. The reactions you receive, the feedback and interactions you experience vary so much depending on your gender and sexuality. I don’t think either gender travels that differently in terms of style; I’ve met fast-moving, hardcore backpackers, female as well as male, and I’ve also met women who loved slow travel, taking their time, and renting a comfortable room; men do the same.

What differentiates you from the many 20-something travel bloggers out there is that you are a little older (and looking good for it!). As you have mentioned in your blog, this causes some people to question your lifestyle choices. Is a life away from ‘home’ sustainable for you? Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?

Ten years is a long projection and I never think in those terms! I can’t say, but I can tell you that I’m happiest abroad. You need very little money to live [depending on where you travel] and it’s been the best education I’ve ever received. In these past two years, I’ve grown so much that I can’t see how someone could question that. Right now, yes, I’d like to continue living abroad and see what else life has in store for me.

What advice would you like to give, or have you given to younger travellers on the road who perhaps aren’t as worldly wise as yourself?

Travel never ends, and going to see places and having experiences in youth is great, but once you reach other stages in your life, travel can take different forms and become deeper in ways you can’t fathom.  So, once you get going – don’t stop.

You’re definitely a ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ kind of gal. Aside from your imminent bull-running escapades, what’s the scariest activity you have ever experienced on your travels, and would you do it again?

Hang-gliding in Rio, because I don’t like heights.  I have hiked before and did fine, but when there’s a possibility of very little to support my feet or in this case, nothing, I panic.  However, it was fantastic; one of the best things I’ve ever done!  I was a human airplane for eight minutes.  And Rio as a background can’t be beaten; it’s one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Solo female travel is a hot topic in the travel world – what have you gained from being a feisty solo female traveller, and what would you say to those women who are unsure whether to take on the challenge?

I gained a truckload of confidence.  Although I had it before, now it’s welded to my exoskeleton – like a reflex.  I’m more sure of myself and my choices. I finally understand what truly makes me happy, and am not willing to compromise any longer for anything that stops me from doing those things. My advice? Solo travel helps dull the noise and allows you to find out who you really are, positive and negative – all of it.  And let’s be honest, the only person you really have to deal with on a daily basis is yourself.  Why not make peace with what you want and who you are?

How do you tackle loneliness on the road?

I talk to people when I feel the urge. I keep in close contact with my best friends back home, so I never feel adrift in the world.  Sometimes I just go to a cafe and people watch; that can be great fun instead of brooding by myself in my room.

You are an extremely well-travelled lady! Tell us one of your favourite destinations, as well as the destination on top of your to-do list, and why these spots are significant for you.

Vietnam is up there. It’s one of those places that is filled with beauty, chaos and generous, energetic people. I love their spirit! I’ve yet to set foot in Africa and really want to explore South Africa first, and then expand from there.

You have achieved your dream of escaping the rat race and seeing the world. What’s the next goal for the Nomadic Chick?

Continue exploring places and living abroad. I’m enjoying China right now and soon enough a new place will present itself. Wait and see!

A big thanks to Jeannie! If you’d like to follow the adventures of the girls in Spain, visit GirlsRunWithBulls.com.

Big Blogger Interview: Nomadic Chick

There are many things to do in Bordeaux that don’t involve hurling yourself down a steep drop with only a wedge of polystyrene between you and the ground below. There are however, few ways in which to experience the mighty Dune du Pilat, Europe’s largest sand dune, which provide quite as much fun…

The dune itself is a large bunion of golden sand, stretching some 3km by 500m along France’s south-west coast. It receives over 1 million visitors annually, and as with most coastal features, it’s constantly evolving – moving inland at a rate of around 5 meters a year.

While most people come to climb and walk along the dune’s impressive spine, my challenge was somewhat different; armed with nothing more than a bodyboard and a smile, James Hanberry (Co-Founder of Belle Vie Xperience and Bordeaux action man extraordinaire) simply told me to ‘go for it!’

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I followed his advice or not – suffice to say if sand dune surfing should make the next Olympics I’m not sure I’d get selected!!!

Dune du Pilat

Audrey and the boards (James has a fleet of 6 vintage campers he hires out to holiday makers – this one’s ‘Audrey’:)

Charlie takes a nap en route to the dune…

James bravely hands over the boards…

What comes down must first go up!

View from the top of the stairs…. look how far we’ve come…

Soaking up the view

Love this account of bodyboarding in Bordeaux? Check out our travel article on the Cote d’Argent.

Video: Bodyboarding in Bordeaux

Of all the things to do in New Zealand, bungee jumping is surely the most extreme. This is a sport that defies logic in every way, a true leap of faith that overwhelms the body with adrenalin and smothers the mind with fear. Some argue that skydiving is a greater feat, but those who’ve done both, whose legs have dangled from the belly of an aeroplane and whose bound ankles have teetered atop a thin ledge, would disagree.

Bungee jumping is not a safe sport. You need spend just a few wide-eyed minutes on YouTube to know that. But without the danger there would be no rush, and without the rush it’d just be another casual outdoor activity. Still, discounting travel insurance, which becomes somewhat obsolete when you’re being washed downriver like a strawberry milkshake on the valley floor, there are plenty of ways to maximise your chances of emerging from the abyss unscathed.

Listen Up

The biggest mistake I made before plunging through the 134 metres of thin air that comprises AJ Hackett’s Nevis Bungy in Queenstown was deciding not to listen to the safety instructions. Actually, it was less of a decision, more of an obligation, for the only thing I could hear leading up to my leap was the frenetic throb of blood beating against my eardrums.

Had I been able to hear the lady, I’d have found out where to find the pull cord that tips the bungee jumper from an upside down to seated position, and I wouldn’t have spent 20 panicked seconds grabbing at other bits of string before eventually deciding it would be safest just to close my eyes and hold on tight until another pair of fingers came to prise mine away.

In other words, listening with greater care would have saved my nervous system an awful lot of undue stress, and would have prevented the second half of the following video being quite so unflattering:

Don’t Look Down

Pause this video at 00:30 and observe the direction of my gaze. This was the second biggest mistake I made when bungee jumping in New Zealand. I should have been staring at the horizon, of course, and concentrating solely on diving towards it like Tom Daley would. But I was too fixated upon the void below, and too scared to jump into it as a consequence.

The alternative is to close your eyes and stare at the back of your eyelids, shutting down your most stimulated sense and freeing your mind to concentrate on more important things, like the heart attack that’s fast approaching, or the legs wobbly enough to make a trifle.

Mind Over Splatter

Although the mask of bravado I wore before my jump disintegrated as soon as I stepped onto the bungee platform, it did ensure that my mind stayed well and truly off the adventure at hand until it could be ignored no longer. Not everyone is this fortunate, however; the nights preceding a bungee jump for many are sleepless and drenched in sweat.

Being able to brag about conquering one of the world’s tallest bungee jumps was the incentive I used to manipulate my thoughts beforehand, staving off dread and focussing instead on what I’d be able to tell my friends when I got back from New Zealand. It’s the same reason I would gladly do another bungee jump one day, but only if it was even taller than the Nevis Bungy…

Take a Chance?

You only live once. Whether you translate this into carpe diem or use it to justify mortal caution, however, is up to you. Whiplash and damage to eyesight are the most common injuries that this extreme sport hands out, while cranial trauma is possibly the worst (and, by coincidence, one of the most difficult to clean up). But disasters are rare, and the vast majority of those who decide to leap walk away unharmed thanks to the exceedingly tight safety regulations observed around the globe.

Still, you have to decide whether to take the risk. If it’s something that worries you so much that you’re unlikely to enjoy it, either revisit my previous point or don’t put yourself through it at all. There will be someone on hand to give you a shove if you falter, but ultimately it is a choice you have to make and stand by yourself.

Don’t Forget to Smile

Just like this:

How Do You Survive a Bungee Jump?

Renowned for having the richest history in the world, Egypt is filled with ancient splendour and Luxor is no exception. Sailing the world’s longest river, The Nile, I stopped off at an abundance of temples, staring in fascination at their magnificence and sheer architectural brilliance. A convoy through the desert took me to Abu Simbel, the most famous temple of Ramses II. Dating back to the 13^th Century BC, amazingly the temples were relocated in 1968 to prevent submersion during the creation of Lake Nasser. Ending the trip, soaring over Luxor in a hot air balloon was truly a magical, once in a lifetime experience (slightly interrupted when we came inches away from hitting a rock face…)

Soaring over The Ramesseum – although in ruins now, it is still recognisable for the large Pylon of Ramesses.

The rising sun engulfs the rising hot air balloons.

The Egyptian men down below who greet the descending balloon

Getting a close up of two of the statues of Ramessess II at Abu Simbel

At his day job, in the middle of the desert, in an … igloo?

The heat of the balloon mixed with the heat of the Egyptian sun – absolutely scorching

The ledges that we nearly crashed into – some nifty skills by the captain to recover that one.

Trying to take a sneaky pic of the man on the Felucca, not so sneaky when he notices and stares directly at the camera!

Driving through the Sahara

Flying High in Luxor, Egypt

Solo travel is now very much on the map, so to speak. As travel becomes easier and more accessible to a wider range of people, going it alone is a popular option with many; whether it’s setting off with no more than a backpack and a plane ticket to the other side of the world, or opting for a more organised solo holiday, there’s a variety of possibilities.

For men and women, solo travel can be a very different experience. Much more of a level playing field than a few decades ago, women are setting off by themselves just as much as men these days. In fact, until the beginning of this year, travel company and supplier of five star solo holidays Fusion Escapes counted more women than men among their customers. Since the beginning of 2012 however, they have seen an increase in male bookings – the return of the lone ranger?

Credit photo Flickr: elitatt

So, where are all these men and women setting off to? Well, we’ve got some great ideas for luxurious solo holidays for men and women, whether you fancy shopping, relaxing or something a little more active.

For the solo man looking to get away for a few days we’ve selected five fantastic destinations with plenty to get those muscles working:

*  Head to Bern for an unforgettable 4 night walking trip where you can discover the city and the surrounding landscapes, all while keeping fit.

*  Try your hand at some rafting on the Soca River in Slovenia. Don’t be afraid to get those hands dirty and take the plunge.

*  Turn Action Man in Kenya with a safari trip to meet the local wildlife. Driving across the plains, followed by a night under the stars – it doesn’t get much better than that.

*  If you really want to get active while on holiday, why not have a go at cycling in British Columbia. Push those legs to the limit and really work up a sweat.

*  If that doesn’t tempt you, perhaps you fancy a spot of climbing in Malta. Brave the rock face and get your feet off the ground.

For women who fancy getting away from the stress of it all, there are some equally exciting destinations with plenty to offer:

*  Work up a sweat of a different kind in a Santorini sauna. Forget the working week as you relax in luxury on this Greek Island.

*  Pamper yourself in Portuguese style in the Algarve, while lapping up the sublime Mediterranean climate and perhaps sipping on a cocktail or two.

*  Prefer purchasing to pampering? Why not take a stroll down Fifth Avenue and check out the shops of New York?

*  If you fancy something a little less flashy, perhaps take a trip to Marrakech to wander through the souks and see what you can find.

*  Or, find out what Dubai has to offer with a VIP trip to discover the decadence and glamour of this fantastic location.

Solo Travel for the Girls… and the Boys

AND THE WINNER IS…IAN VISITS!

As hotly contested a category as this was always going to be, we really couldn’t pass up the opportunity to award a man so deeply in tune with London life, it wouldn’t surprise us to learn that Big Ben set its own watch by this guy’s timepiece.

Not one to toot his own trumpet, Mr Ian Mansfield, purveyor of IanVisits, does not strictly consider himself a travel blogger, citing his thematic approach to posting to be a bit ‘all over the place’. Lucky for us, this tactic produces some of the finest stories about the city we could ever get our sticky mitts on.

From commenting on historical quirks to shouting about the modern perks of city living, Ian’s informative and up to the minute articles present an honest and refreshing view, that really get in behind the scenes of the boroughs.

Of particular note is the ‘Rants’ section, a personal and pithy sub-category that covers all from transportation tirades to website woes. We’ve oftentimes found ourselves chuckling along to the ever-so-politely presented objections to everyday life. We’re also a fan of his black and white approach (to design at least). The simple monochromatic colour scheme gives precedence to the content of the posts, which now we come to think about it, is what this blogging thing is all about really.

In addition to the ups, downs and daily goings on, the site’s Photo Gallery shines a light on both the highlighted and the hidden aspects of London’s hotspots. Where there is one image of an oft-touted iconic landmark, a myriad of all too easily overlooked locations will spring up around it. Even a keen-eyed Cockney would have a challenge clocking these clandestine corners of the city.

Alongside the main blog, Ian also demonstrates a little app-titude for some alternative ventures. We really don’t know where we’d pee without the London Toilet Map on our smartphones. It seems this gent truly has his fingers in all the eel pies.

So there you have it. The very first #TAFTA is awarded to Mr Ian Mansfield on account of his capital musings. Congratulations, Sir on being our inaugural Social Norm. Now go and pop the kettle on…you’ve earned it.

Norman’s Notes:

I don’t often read London based blogs on account of an unfortunate incident I had with a pigeon in Trafalgar Square once, but when I do, I read Ian Visits.

NEXT WEEK’S CATEGORY: TRULY SCRUMPTIOUS STREET FOOD BLOGGERS

Vote now on Twitter, Facebook or comment below!

#TAFTA Awards – Lord Mayor of London

With the lure of a weekend escape to Paris on the horizon, I couldn’t have been happier. To me, even the Eurostar shimmered with a luster far beyond the reality of its forlornly fraying seats. Nothing mattered, though, because I was on my way to the artistic Promised Land.  A city so chic, that even a pair of stylish Ray-Bans couldn’t curb its glow.  Spending my days strolling along the banks of the Seine, the weekend passed me by in a blur of utter indulgence. Thanks to a hasty (but calculated) choice to sidestep all tourist attractions in Paris, and to instead soak up the city by foot, I was blessed with endless reams of tranquil time. Mornings were spent sipping on jus d’orange and stuffing pain au chocolats, afternoons entailed ambles through the parks and evenings were filled with, well, let’s be honest here… a wine induced haze! Managing to (briefly) haul myself out of holiday mode for some scenic shots, here’s the chic city at its very best.

Photos: Parisian Chic

What’s your idea of something fun to do? Going to the movies, eating out in London with friends, partying? Mine’s all of those plus something a little different. I’ve always had this ‘demolition man’ side to me with a childhood love of smashing and breaking things – windows, toy cars, and trashing my sister’s perfectly arranged Sylvanian Families banquet with a pair of plastic dinosaurs. Now, twenty odd years later, I get to smash and break my own body.

And I’m losing sleep with excitement.

Image credit: Glenn Harper

On Saturday, my brother and I are taking part in the self-proclaimed toughest event in the UK, Europe, and the world – “probably”. Also billed as, “a lot more fun than a marathon”, Tough Mudder is an assault course that pits thousands of sadistic nutcases against their wits, testing their mental and physical mettle to the absolute max.

It’s got a global reputation with events hosted in America, Australia, Japan, South Africa, Canada and Europe. The England-based course is twelve miles long and contains around twenty different obstacles with five mystery ones being announced just days before kick-off.

Obstacles range from the mundane “Greased Lightning” mud slide to the eye-watering “Nettles to Nipples” – the fourth one on the list – which forces you to crawl belly-down through a patch of fresh stinging nettles underneath a net bulging with nettle stocks. It’s safe to say I’m far from looking forward to going the rest of the way with my entire body inflamed with stings. Still, I’m sure a dip in the ice-cube-filled “Arctic Enema” and a swim through the lake will cool me off (before the flaming hay bales of “Fire Walker” turn up the heat again).

Image credit: merfam

But, as someone whose peak physical condition is about as far off as the next Ice Age, how on earth do you train for an event that’s designed to grab you by the face, break you in two, chew you up and vomit you onto the floor in a gelatinous pile of ooze? The short answer: chin-ups and lots and lots of running.

Comfortably running six miles and being able to complete the specially designed Tough Mudder work-out (which, given the nature of the course itself, you can imagine is brutal) twice in a row is when you know you’re properly ready. Replicating certain aspects of the course is good too. Sprinting uphill, splashing through muddy puddles (even performing press-ups in them) were all great ways of helping me acclimatise for what’s in store.

Image credit: merfam

I’m still not ‘match fit’ but I fully intend to cross the finish line either on foot or my hands and knees. However, there are some saving graces which I’m desperately clinging onto: the mantra of the course being a challenge not a race, and that we’ll most likely have to queue up at the start of the latter obstacles and wait for the slow pokes in front to move on – hello, ample recovery time – and afterwards there’s a free pint, live music and a bright orange Tough Mudder head band to collect. I’m not convinced they’re a consolation, so you’ll have to stay tuned for part II of A Muddy Bog Jog Blog, coming next week, to see how I got on.

A Muddy Bog Jog Blog: Part I