My Dream Wedding

Malay Wedding-Akad Nikah

2009-10-29T09:02:00.002+08:00

The most important part of the Malay wedding is the akad nikah, or the marriage solemnisation, which can be done in a mosque, the office of the Department of Islamic Affairs (Jabatan Agama Islam) or even in the bride’s own home.

Having grown up in predominantly Catholic Philippines, my concept of weddings has always involved white gowns, elaborate church services, and marriage vows that one normally gleans from paperback novels and Hollywood films — “for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”

You can just imagine my shock when I was new in Malaysia and attended my first Malay wedding. The bride didn’t even leave her elaborately decorated bedroom while the marriage ceremony took place between the tok kadi, the bridegroom and the wali (guardian) who is usually the father of the bride, as well as two male witnesses in attendance.

She only came out later on to sign the marriage certificate to signify her consent and acceptance of the marriage, followed by the upacara sarung cincin (’ceremony of putting on the ring’) and the customary photos of the bride kissing the groom’s hands……as well as of the groom kissing the bride on her forehead.

The actual marriage ceremony itself is very simple and very quick. Prior to the actual solemnisation, the tok kadi will usually give a short talk about the virtues and blessings of marriage, as well as to remind the bride and groom of their respective duties and responsibilities, with the bulk of the reminders going to the husband.

Foremost among the responsibilities of the husband is maintenance and protection, and overall responsibility for the welfare of his wife. This includes feeding, clothing and shelter for the wife and their children — a legally enforceable duty, mind you, which remains even after divorce. Thus, financial responsibility for the family is the husband’s sole responsibility, and the wife has no duty to contribute to family expenses unless she has the means and the wish to do so. In addition, the husband is also expected to give her wife company and marital relations, and to avoid doing anything that would harm her.

[Important Notes: In terms of property, whatever belongs to the bride before the marriage shall remain hers after the marriage, and what was the groom's shall remain his.

If she is working, she has complete freedom to spend or save her salary as she deems fit. In actual practice, however, many Malay wives contribute to the household expenses but more out of necessity rather than obligation.

And since the burden of providing for the family is the husband's responsibility, when it comes to inheritance, sons get a bigger portion than daughters, as the latter's respective husbands are expected to provide for them.]

On the other hand, the responsibility of the wife is to guard, in her husband’s absence, her husband’s honour and property, as well as her loyalty towards him, her modesty and chastity with all other men. Thus, she is not supposed to allow other men to enter their home without her husband’s knowledge and permission. And just as her husband is expected to give her company and marital relations, the same is expected of her.

After the tok kadi finishes his talk, the marriage solemnisation then begins. With the tok kadi and the groom grasping each other’s right hand, as though in a prolonged handshake, the tok kadi asks the groom: “Do you, , accept the marriage of with mas kahwin of ?”

The groom is then expected to reply: “I accept the marriage of with mas kahwin of .”

The tok kadi will turn to the two male witnesses to ask for their confirmation if the acceptance is loud and clear. Once he gets their affirmation, he pronounces the akad as sah (valid) and the bride and groom are married. As simple as that!

The groom then reads out loud a special clause in the marriage contract that stipulates that if he fails to provide financial support or fails to go home to his wife for a period of four months (six months in certain states/countries) or if he causes physical injury on her, she has the right to go to any Islamic court and for a nominal fee (RM10 or so), she can have a divorce granted to her.

Lately, there has been an increasing trend of the brides being present while the ceremony takes place. But the basic setup remains the same — the tok kadi, the bridegroom, the wali, as well as two male witnesses in attendance. The only difference is that many brides now opt to be in the same room where the ceremony takes place, seated on a special pillow on the carpeted floor. The tok kadi first asks the bride’s confirmation if she agrees to her father marrying her off to the bridegroom. Only then does the actual marriage ceremony take place.

Unlike Christian marriages, it is not necessary to have a priest, minister or religious leader officiate the marriage. The tok kadi is mainly there as a representative of the Jabatan Agama Islam, the legal body that handles all paperwork pertaining to marriage and divorce.

It is, in fact, possible for the bride’s father to marry her off himself. Literally! By doing so, this even saves him one step in the process — the lafaz wakalah, which is basically the bride’s father authorising the tok kadi to solemnise the marriage of his daughter. The lafaz wakalah is usually done in the office of Jabatan Agama Islam before the actual wedding day and it requires the father of the bride and the tok kadi to grasp each other’s right hand (just like the groom and the tok kadi during the akad nikah) as the father recites: “I, , give the authorization to <Tok Kadi’s Full Name> to solemnize the marriage of my daughter, with with the dowry of Ringgit in cash.”

There are many other things involved in the Malay wedding ceremony but I’m only touching on what’s considered the core aspects that affect the validity of the marriage. All other practices are mainly cultural, varying widely from state to state, whose observance faithfully continues, given how fiercely loyal most Malays are to adat (tradition). There’s even a Malay saying that goes “Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat” (’Never mind if the child dies, just make sure the traditions don’t')!

Malay Wedding- The Venue

2009-10-29T09:00:00.001+08:00

ven though many hotels and halls offer wedding packages, the bride’s and groom’s respective houses still remain as the most popular venue for most Malay weddings.

If you see canopies like this being put up in a street in your neighbourhood, chances are, there’s going to be a wedding reception in that place in one or two days’ time.

The canopies would straddle both sides of the street but would be high enough for cars to go through, hence, while they’re being put up, cars would still be able to go in and out of the neighbourhood as usual. However, as the tables and chairs are brought out and arranged under those canopies, that section of the road would be temporarily closed to traffic, usually for half a day, at most for one whole day. Naturally, it is necessary to obtain approval from the municipal or city council for such things.

Canopies can range from the very basic, simple tent-like structures, to the more interesting ones that come with colourful scallop curtains to match your reception’s theme, to the more sophisticated ones that come with built-in fans (very useful for Malaysia’s sweltering humid weather) and, sometimes, even with mini chandeliers.

Canopies provide the much-needed extra space in order to accommodate the steady stream of guests. They’re usually rented together with the tables and chairs. Some caterers even include canopies in their packages.

One section would be set aside as the meja pengantin, i.e. the table where the bride and groom and selected members from both sides of the families would sit and have their meal. The food for the meja pengantin is, of course, special — either completely different from what all other guests partake in or have similar dishes but with a few special extras included.

Canopies, however, only cover one portion of the venue, i.e. the outdoors portion. Indoors is an altogether different story.

First of all, there’s the lounge, usually stripped bare of all its furniture and covered from wall to wall with carpets, on which guests and relatives would sit.

n many cases, the akad nikah or marriage ceremony would be done in this room. This is not always the case, as some couples opt to have the akad nikah in a nearby mosque.

There would be one area of the house with two chairs or a bench on an elevated platform, usually decorated with flowers. Remember this photo from my previous post, Selamat Pengantin Baru?

It’s called the pelamin. This area would be the focal point of the reception, as this is where the newly wed couple would sit and be presented formally as husband and wife. Naturally, many guests would have their photo taken with the newly weds here.

Finally, there’s the highlight of any bride’s reception — the bride’s bedroom. The room would be elaborately decorated, usually following a colour theme of the bride’s choice. There would be new sheets and matching curtains, sometimes wallpaper, sometimes ribbons and four-poster beds, usually with fresh flowers.

If the akad nikah is held in the bride’s house, the bride’s room would be the place where the bride, her closest friends and the mak andam – the lady who does the bride’s hair and makeup — would be holed up while waiting for the guests to arrive.

Once in a while, a friend or relative would come, pose with the bride and have their photo taken together, with the gaily decorated room as the backdrop.

After the akad nikah, this room would also be where many photographs of the newly weds would be taken. Usually, only relatives and female guests can go into or even take a peek at the bride’s bedroom.

Malay Wedding - Hantaran

2009-10-29T08:51:00.002+08:00

To pick up from where the first part left off, once the families of the happy couple have agreed on the wedding date, now comes the sticky part: the hantaran.

Hantaran comes from the root word hantar, which means ‘to send’. It refers to both the dowry (mahr in Arabic) and the gifts that will be exchanged between the bride and groom.

The dowry is something that a groom is obliged to give to his wife on their wedding day, usually, but not always, in monetary form. Based on this technical definition, this would mean the obligatory maskahwin in Malaysia, which is an amount that every groom must give to his bride, without which the wedding would not be valid. The amount varies from state to state and a detailed list can be found here.

In addition to this obligatory maskahwin, in Malaysia, there is the cultural practice of giving wang hantaran. This is a certain amount of money — a gift from the groom to the bride — which is usually fixed by the bride’s family. The amount would depend on many factors — the bride’s educational background or occupation, the social standing of both families (a famous actress, for instance, would get a huge sum), some sentimental reasons between the bride and groom, just to name a few.

Sometimes the bride’s family does not set the amount and just they just leave it to the groom’s family. In certain cases, the bride’s family might even specify the addition of a gold bracelet and/or necklace. It all depends on one’s luck, I suppose.

Trivia: There was a celebrated case of a hantaran of RM444,444.44 from a 50-year old businessman to a part-time model, who got married in 2006. Sadly, the marriage didn’t last. The couple divorced in November 2007.

In any case, the Muslim concept of dowry is different from the old European concept of dowry which is given by a father to a daughter on her marriage but thereafter becomes the husband’s property. Neither is it like the African “bride-price” which is paid by the bridegroom to the father as a form of payment or compensation. The Muslim dowry is a gift from the groom to the bride, for the bride to keep or spend as she wishes. Some Malay brides keep it in the bank as a fixed deposit. Others use it to buy gold jewelry, to keep as an investment because gold in Malaysia is of very high quality (916 or 22 carats) and easily appreciates in value through the years. Some people use part or all of the money for buying a bed for the bride’s bedroom and/or to go towards the wedding expenses.

I’m not an expert on this subject, hence, I refer you to other sites such as this, this and this for further information on the issue.

So why do I refer to the wang hantaran as the sticky part? Well… on the one hand, the bride’s family has to think about maintaining the family’s pride and keeping the relatives from making comments like “Kenapa RMxxxx je? Pengantin perempuan kan doktor?! (Why only RMxxxx? Isn’t the bride a doctor?”). But on the other hand, the family wouldn’t want to end up looking too greedy, as if they’re selling off the girl!

And if you’re wondering at the current rate for wang hantaran, I heard RM10,000 is quite common now, a huge jump from the respectable RM5,000 in the early 90’s.

The second portion of the hantaran — the exchange of gifts — is much, much easier to deal with. The families just agree on how many trays (dulang) the bride’s family will give. It’s always an odd number and the groom’s family will reciprocate with two more trays, e.g. if the bride’s family decides on 7 trays, the groom’s family must give 9 trays.

I will now be talking in detail about the second hantaran, where the fun begins. At least, I find it fun.

First of all, the hantaran will be presented in trays. This is why the number of gifts is often referred to as the number of trays or dulang. (Hantaran berapa dulang? – How many trays of gifts will be given?) You can rent the trays from bridal shops or borrow your grandmother’s bronze trays (they’re heavy though!) or make use of your mom’s Queen Anne silverware.

Secondly, the hantaran will be decorated with ribbons and flowers, following a colour theme of the respective families’ choice. The design can be quite elaborate — a towel can be fashioned into a ‘basket of oranges’, a prayer robe can be arranged into a small house, a basket of Ferrero Rocher chocolates can take the form of a bunch of grapes.

This entire concept of gubahan has evolved into a major money-making venture. There are lots of shops specialising in the sale of ribbons, lace, foam, stryrofoam, and all sorts of decorative knick-knacks meant for the hantaran. Ironically, most of these shops are Chinese-owned and -run.

The gifts in the hantaran are not fixed, although there are certain must-have items, such as daun sirih (betel leaves) and bunga rampai, a sweet-smelling mixture of daun pandan (screwpine leaves) that have been shredded thinly, mixed with some rose water and sprinkled with some jasmine flowers here and there. Sometimes, potpourri can be used as a substitute for bunga rampai.

It’s also customary for the groom to give his bride a ring, although the bride is not obliged to reciprocate.(Ladies, take note! Just because a Malay man does not wear a ring, it does not mean that he’s single!)

And unlike in the West, where the wedding ring is a plain gold band, for the Malays, the wedding ring has a stone or some stones, even if they’re just zircons.

Part of the hantaran would also be something sweet, such as chocolates or sweets, and something that the relatives can share after the wedding reception — a cake, a basket of fruits, some cookies.

Usually, the bride and groom give each other one set of clothes or cloth (to be made into clothes) and/or shoes and hand bag. To ensure the suitability in size, colour and design, it’s quite common for the bride to buy her clothes and the groom to buy his clothes and for them to exchange with each other before the wedding, so that the presents can be arranged in trays.

It’s also quite common for the bride and groom to exchange with each other a set of toiletry items, i.e. perfume and lotion or facial wash for him, perfume and cosmetics for her.

With so much care and meticulous detail going into the presentation of the hantaran, it’s no wonder that people often take photos of the hantaran whenever they go to a wedding!

Malay Wedding-Meminang

2009-10-29T08:47:00.003+08:00

Not so long ago, it was quite common in Malaysia for parents to look for suitable partners for their children, a practice which the Western world refers to as ‘arranged marriages’. Contrary to popular belief, however, the children have the choice to either accept or turn down their parents’ suggested candidates. And the ‘arranging’ process goes on until such time that a suitable match is found. This tradition is still being practised among the Malaysian Indians but among the Malays, this practice is slowly dying down as more and more young people have started finding their matches on their own.

In the past, once a suitable match was identified, it was customary for the boy’s family to send a group of representatives (rombongan meminang) to formally ask for the girl’s hand in marriage. Even though both families already know the answer, the girl’s family would wait for a day or two — sometimes even up to a week — before sending their own rombongan to formally accept the offer. I find the old way rather long and ’roundabout’ kalau mengikut adat (if following the old customs), details of which this site talks about. [NB: That site is entirely in Malay.]

These days, in the same way that arranged marriages are no longer the norm, a lot of the old Malay adat is no longer being followed or have been modified somewhere along the way. For instance, it’s still customary for the boy’s family to go to the girl’s house to ask for her hand in marriage but the meeting can be rather informal — just like any other discussion over lunch or tea or dinner — usually without the boy in attendance and with the girl often hiding in her room.

But sometimes, some of the old practices are still being followed and that’s when the process gets a bit more interesting. There may be, like in the olden days, some clever exchange of pantun, a Malay poetic form that has been recorded from as far back as the 15th century. A representative from the boy’s family will say something like this pantun.

The girl’s family will have to answer in similar manner, all very poetic and quite amusing. It’s a shame that this art is slowly dying down, with less and less people capable of doing it.

With the main formalities over, the two families then start talking about a suitable date for the wedding. This process is quite straightforward — they just pick out which weekend or school holiday will work. You see, most weddings are scheduled during school holidays and/or weekends to make it easier for relatives and friends to attend, especially for those who are from out of town.

The akad nikah (solemnisation ceremony) and bride’s reception will take place first, to be followed by the groom’s reception usually a week after. Some people also combine the reception but generally, people still make separate receptions. With separate receptions often come separate wedding invitation cards but, again, some people mention both receptions in one invitation and it’s up to the recipient which reception to attend.

Once the dates are set, the two families then discuss on the issue of the hantaran that they will bring at the wedding day.

budget saving tips on wedding planning

2009-10-29T08:31:00.002+08:00

The first step to having a wedding on a shoestring budget is figuring out what that budget will be! Once you have created your wedding budget, be sure to keep it in mind at all times during the wedding planning. It's also a good idea to add 10% to your total budget for unanticipated expenses.

By far, this is the best way to save money on your wedding. For every guest you don't invite, you could potentially save on food, drinks, wedding invitations, wedding favors and even the size of the ceremony and reception location.

For each person you don't have in your wedding party, you could potentially save on expensive wedding party gifts, food, drinks, transportation to ceremony

It's a well known fact that weddings are primarily on Saturdays. Having your wedding on a Friday or a Sunday might help you save money at the location you're trying to rent. You might find that another couple already reserved Saturday and having your wedding on Sunday is the only way to have it that weekend.

Think about it: how necessary is it that you have a new wedding dress? When you're done with your dress, you will probably end up storing it in a closet in your house. Sure, you might want to pass it on to a daughter, but what if they aren't the same size as you were?

Buying a used wedding dress is a great way to save money

There are many ways you can save money by having your friends help. They could help by being your photographer, caterers, cook, videographer, DJ, musicians, etc.

Planning For Your Perfect Wedding Day

2009-10-26T11:54:00.004+08:00

Everybody dreams of having a perfect wedding, but like all planned events even the wedding ceremonies generally have one or more glitches, which need to be smoothed. Ultimately one has to remember that the day is for and of the bride and groom and the planned choices that they've made should be honored above the choices of others. Most important thing is to remain calm and cool and stay with your plans.

It is important to chalk out your preferences, likes and dislikes before planning out the final details of your wedding. You would really have to be sure on what you want before you start making those final decisions that many times can't be reversed. Decide on these important 'must' have details with your fiance, talk about the budget with him/her and stick to the plans and decisions you take.

Your first decision will be the wedding date. If the ceremony will take place in a mosque or some other heavily used building, confirm that the date is available. If it isn't you'll have to settle on another, so it's a good plan to have several possibilities when you are ready to book.

You'll need to plan your budget carefully. Use common sense when choosing some things for your wedding. Where possible think of ways where you can cut costs. For instance, if you want to hire a DJ to handle the music at your reception you might want to ask around to see if you know anyone who can do this for you at a low price.

When it's time to begin buying wedding things, make a list of everything you need, what it will cost, and then stick to that. Talk with merchants in your locale, as they may be willing to give you a good price. It certainly won't hurt to ask.

Choosing the right photographer for your wedding is one of the most important decisions that you'll make as your photographs will last your life time just like your memories. For choosing the right photographer survey the market, ask for a lot of samples of similar work so that you can gauge the kind of work the photographer is capable of. Be sure that the pictures that you want in your wedding album are possible and the photographer you choose is able to visualize them and click them at the correct moment.

Decide on how many guests you plan to invite, but be realistic about it. Your budget may not allow for everyone you want to ask and in that case you'll have to shorten your list. Think of the most important people in your lives first.

After you have your headcount, you'll need to find a caterer that you can afford and who will be able to prepare the foods that you plan to serve. Remember that there is more to choosing a caterer than cost alone.

So you have to decide on a number of things while planning for your wedding. And to be sure that you have taken care of all aspects get somebody - a friend or sister to help you with the planning. And it definitely pays to have some body help you decide on things like music for the reception, the decorations and the menu etc.

Above all you must enjoy the planning and the execution of one of the most special days of your life. Enjoy!

Tips & Ideas / Flowers – To have and to hold???

2009-10-24T10:38:00.003+08:00

As you make your presence at a wedding reception, what usually catches your attention are the music, the ambience and oh those lovely smells of freshly cut blooms! Flowers are an essential element to all weddings as they add galore to the whole occasion. Jasmines and roses are the customary flowers used for weddings here in Malaysia namely because of their fragrance and the colours which compliment the whole theme.
Decorations for wedding receptions consist of greens, buds and blooms and although white colours are usually the norm, pastel shades can be chosen to blend with the other ornaments of the bridal party.
A Handful of tips for that special bridal bouquet
· Your bridal bouquet should compliment your wedding gown. Therefore, if you’re using a simple couture, then you should opt for a more elaborate hand bouquet and vice versa.
· Do opt for local blooms as they’re inexpensive and they come in wide varieties.
· Bear in mind that the wedding flowers you choose depend highly on your personality and the texture of your wedding gown:
· Lilies of the Valley and roses arranged in smaller cascades are best suited for petite brides.
· Calla lilies and orchids make the perfect bridal bouquet for taller brides.
· Camellia and gardenias go very well with satin and brocade wedding dresses.
· Set a budget and discuss with your florist so that the final outcome will be suitable to your finances and requirements. After all, you wouldn’t want to be broke on your wedding day!

Tips & Ideas / 12 month wedding checklist

2009-10-24T10:25:00.000+08:00

12 month wedding checklist

10 – 12 MONTHS BEFORE:

- set your wedding date. Pick a few dates, just in case your desired venues are not available.
- Discuss with parents and future in-laws on the style & size of wedding ceremony.
- set a budget.
- Book a wedding consultant or wedding planner.
- Book a date with the ROM and the ceremony venue.
- Begin your guest list.
- Source for reception venues that suit your taste and budget. Certain months/dates are more popular than others and you need to book well in advance.
- Organize and file all important documents in a systematic order. Keep a separate file for payments and receipts. This will help you keep track of what has been done, what needs to be done and also manage all your expenses.
- Begin shopping for your bridal gowns, headpiece and bridal accessories.

6 – 10 MONTHS BEFORE:

- Confirm and book your venues if you haven’t done so.
- Select your attendants’ bridesmaid, best man, ring bearer, etc. Inform them about their duties.
- Plan your CD music selection or ask for quotes, if you are planning to hire a band or string quartet to Provide entertainment.
- Select the bridal boutique, followed by the bridal gowns and suits.
- Search for reputable hair & wedding makeup artist. Ask friends for recommendations.
- After confirming your bridal gowns and suits, start shopping for attendants’ attire.
- Shop for bridal accessories like bridal shoes, tiaras and jewellery.
- Help mothers of the bride and groom choose their dresses.
- Those having a church ceremony, plan your program, check out printers and get quotations
- Research and book your photographer / wedding videographer. Ask friends for recommendations.

3 – 6 MONTHS BEFORE:

- be sure deposits are paid and contracts signed.
- Confirm your tentative guest list
- Work on the final arrangements’ programs for wedding day, entertainment, etc.
- Order your wedding cake.
- Final confirmation on wedding venues and the officiant who is solemnizing your ceremony.
- Visit your hair and wedding makeup stylist/s. Discuss and try out different looks.
- Ensure bridal gowns and suits are ready for photography.
- Have studio / outdoor wedding photography taken.
- Choose and buy wedding rings, order engraving.
- Start finalizing plans for your honeymoon.
- Arrange wedding transportation.
- Arrange out-of-town guest accommodations.
- If you and your fiance don’t dance, begin lessons (if it applies to you).

2 – 3 MONTHS BEFORE:

- Print wedding cards.
- Reconfirm menu details. Remember to make arrangements for guests who are vegetarian or guest who takes halal food.
- Double check and confirm travel arrangements and hotel bookings for your honeymoon. Check your passbook availability and obtain a visa (if required).
- Decide venue decorations details with the wedding planner or hotel.
- Choose wedding favors / gifts for attendants.
- Mail wedding cards
- Have a final fitting at the bridal boutique. Ensure your bridal gowns and bridesmaids’ dresses will be ready on time.
- Finalize your transport, flower and music arrangements.
- Arrange for rehearsal if necessary at least one week before the wedding. Inform your attendants early.
- Prepare payment envelopes / ang pau for the fees and gratuities; or gifts for your wedding party. Eg. Your attendants, religious official, clergy, organist, soloist, etc.
- Purchase bridal shoes. Practice wearing your bridal shoes (at home or indoors) avoid blister feet on your wedding day.
- Ask relatives and friends to help at the wedding and reception.
- Select ceremony readings and write personal vows.
- Buy your guest book.

2 – 3 WEEKS BEFORE:

- Confirm dinner attendants
- Confirm dinner menu and food tasting.
- Confirm final program for dinner.
- Arrange for a church rehearsal at least one week before the wedding (if it applies to you). Inform your attendants early.
- Finalize seating arrangement for banquet.
- Remind florist to arrange for bridal bouquet and corsages to be sent to your place early or arrange for pick-up one day before your wedding.
- Submit the final guest count to the caterer / hotel.
- Arrange your head table seating.
- Pack for your honeymoon.
- Have a facial.

1 WEEK BEFORE:

- Have your rehearsal (if applicable).
- You may want to double check on the auspicious hour and have a run- through of the actual day customary formalities.
- One last fitting of your bridal gowns to ensure the size fits as there can sometimes be drastic weight loss due to nervousness or franticness as the big day approaches.
- Have a briefing with bridesmaids, best man and ushers to finalize duties assigned.
- Book a relaxing massage or spa for the two of you to soothe away jitters and stress you have built up over the months.
- Rest and eat well, drink lots of water so you’ll be absolutely fresh for the big day.

1 DAY AHEAD:

- Get a manicure.
- Pack things to take to the wedding site.

DAY OF THE WEDDING:

- Take a good breakfast.
- Have your hair and makeup done.
- Have your bridesmaid/ maid of honour or your attendants attend to giving out your gratuities such as ang pow on your wedding day while you enjoy your wedding day without fussing over the small stuff..
- Enjoy the day.

AFTER THE WEDDING:

- If you are going away on your honeymoon immediately, ask someone to help you tie up loose ends such as returning of loaned / rental items.
- Send ‘Thank You’ cards even if abroad. It would contain that extra touch if you send them during your vacation as it shows you have not forgotten the help of those who had offered their assistance.

My Akad Nikah Dress

2009-10-23T17:13:00.000+08:00

For All of U...

This is my beautiful dress for My Wedding...
It is Beautiful???

I bought it from Indonesia and i will get it within 2 weeks...

Tips for Perfect Wedding Day Beauty

2009-10-23T17:09:00.000+08:00

Want to look perfect on your wedding day? Here are five easy tips for wedding day beauty, including product recommendations and helpful hints.

Use waterproof eye makeup. Most brides cry at their weddings. Even if you don't think you're the crying type, with so many waterproof products out there, why take a chance?
Use a long-lasting lipstick. When they first came out, most were dry and not suitable for a day-filled with close-ups and endless congratulatory kisses. But the new generation wised up with separate color and moisturizer. Apply the color once at the beginning of the day, and remoisturize a couple of times to keep lips luscious and picture-perfect. My favorites are the Cover Girl Outlast All-day Lipcolor.

Practice several times as it can be tricky to apply the color evenly and perfectly. It's hard to remove, so you'll want to get it right on the first application.
Employ a "spot checker". This could be your maid of honor or another person whose makeup style is similar to your own (your mother is another good candidate.) Ask them to keep an eye on you and let you know if you need a touch up. They might also do you the favor of stashing your lipstick in their purse for easy access.
Stash backups Stake out the bathrooms or changing facility at the venue. Stash an emergency kit including power to beat down shiny noses, clear nail polish to repair stocking runs, a hairbrush, hairspray, lipstick, and a sewing kit, along with anything else you think you or your bridesmaids might need.
Do a test run Make sure you test out beauty products several times – you wouldn't want to find out the morning of your wedding that you're allergic!
Relax! A relaxed bride is a beautiful bride. A wedding succeeds as long as you end up married at the end of the day. Every thing else is just gravy.

HOW TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

2009-10-23T10:09:00.001+08:00

Tips for the Bride and Groom

10 TIPS FOR THE BRIDE

Don't keep telling him about all the other men you could have married.

Don't bring out the bills at breakfast.

Don't start a conversation with him while he's reading or watching a sports event on TV.

Don't correct him in front of other people.

Never try to make him jealous.

Don't bad-mouth his relatives.

Don't put a shirt in his drawer with a button missing.

Call him at work during the day now and then just to remind him how much you love him.

Don't use his razor.

Never threaten to leave him unless you have a better place to go.

10 TIPS FOR THE GROOM

Never forget her birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day. A kiss, a card or a single rose could save the day.

Don't keep talking about beautiful women you work with.

Don't turn on the radio, TV or pick up something to read, when she's trying to talk to you.

Don't bring a friend home to dinner without advance notice.

Don't use her car and return it with an empty gas tank.

If you know you're going to be late getting home, call and tell her.

Don't try to make her jealous.

Don't look like a slob all weekend -- unless she looks worse.

When you know you're wrong, admit it.

Never criticize her in the presence of others.

Top 5 tips for choosing your wedding ring

2009-10-23T10:01:00.000+08:00

Remember the four Cs: carat weight, cut, clarity and colour when evaluating a diamond, but don’t assume that, just because you’re spending a lot of money, this is anything other than an emotional investment.

Don’t get too hung up on a specific carat weight. Because there is a leap in price between a stone that weighs 0.9 of a carat and a one-carat stone. If you’re going for a three-stone wedding ring, for example, choose an 0.8 carat stone flanked by two 0.4 carat stones: it will be considerably cheaper than a one-carat flanked by two halves.

Be as extravagant as you want, but consider practicality, you will wear this every day for the rest of your life.

Ask if the retailer subscribes to the Kimberley Process, which should eliminate any conflict diamonds. If you are going to spend a substantial amount of money on your diamond rings, go for certified diamonds for better investment value.

‘Always go for the biggest you can afford. Some ladies worry about a diamond being too flashy as it is often their first piece of proper jewellery. But everything shrinks with age and they will soon get very used to it, and might regret not going for the bigger one in the first place.’

My Dream Wedding

2009-10-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

Wedding is something to personal to discuss..

Every one of us have their own dream about their wedding....

Same with me..

I want to have one ceremony that will be remember all my liffe...