These important tasks include things like setting goals, planning your future, finding a new relationship, learning new skills, improving your diet, beginning a new exercise program, starting a home-based business, or breaking an addiction.  In the short-term they may not produce much benefit, but you can bet they’ll make a huge difference in the long run.

If you feel like you’re just spinning your wheels and not really getting anywhere in life, you’re probably getting sucked in by the urgent and delaying the important.

Pay yourself first

One solution to this problem is to “pay yourself first.”  This expression is usually applied to money, but it can also be used with time.  Recognize that if you want to make significant improvements in your life, you have to bite the bullet and carve out some time for yourself.  This may require delaying urgent tasks by a day or two.  But in most cases, what seems urgent in the moment just isn’t that important in the long run.

People can wait.  The world isn’t going to come crashing down because you didn’t reply to an email the same hour it arrived.  Your boss can wait.  Your co-workers can wait.  Your spouse can wait.  Your kids can wait.  Your bills can wait.

Yes, there may be penalties by causing everyone to wait.  You may get yelled at.  You may incur some late fees.  But virtually all of that will be forgiven.  Better to cause these minor transgressions than to satisfy everyone else while you grow increasingly resentful, forever regretting what might have been.

Schedule a personal appointment

A simple way to implement the pay yourself first mantra is to schedule an appointment with yourself, just as you’d schedule a dentist appointment.  Pick a time and a place, and mark it on your calendar.  If anyone tries to add anything on your plate during that time, just say, “Sorry, I can’t.  I have an important appointment scheduled then.  Can this wait a day or two?”

When you make an appointment with yourself, honor it.  Show up, and do what you planned to do during that time.  It’s better to reschedule someone else than it is to put your own life on hold.

Isn’t this approach selfish?  Not really.  Very often the important work we put off is precisely that which would provide the greatest benefit to others as well.  If you improve your health and relationships, for instance, everyone around you benefits.  If you create a new business or switch to a more meaningful career, you’ll create a lot more social value than if you remain stuck in a dead-end job.  Denying what’s important to you only deprives others.

The 5-year test

When considering which urgent items to delay in order to carve out time for your personal appointments, use the 5-year test.  Just ask yourself, “What difference will it make 5 years from now if I delay this urgent task?”  You’ll often find that most seemingly urgent tasks will make little or no difference at all 5 years hence, even if you were to blow them off completely.

Now apply that same 5-year test to the important tasks you’d do during your scheduled personal appointments.  What difference will those make in 5 years?  Often the result is significant, and it’s this perspective that will help you say no to the urgent in order to secure time for the important.  Those 5 years will pass no matter what you do, so it’s inevitable you’ll find yourself sitting on the back end.

When you look back from today to 5 years in the past, do you see that you’ve made massive progress in life?  If not, then why not?  Did you succumb to the urgent, or did you stay focused on the important?  What will you commit to changing over the next 5 years that you didn’t do in the last 5?

Courage

You may think you’re doing people a favor by giving them a fast turnaround on urgent items.  Please don’t kid yourself.  Deep down you know it’s just a distraction, another outlet for procrastination.  It may be socially acceptable to drown in urgent tasks, but if you want to live more consciously and enjoy a truly fulfilling life, that kind of thinking must be seen for what it is — a fear-based addiction to living far below your potential.

It can take a bit of courage to say no to genuine requests for your time in order to create enough space for the important.  With practice you’ll get used to saying no, both to your own distractions and those coming from others.  Your short-term delays may frustrate people at times — you may even frustrate yourself – but most people will forgive you.  In fact, you’ll generally find that people respect your time much more once they realize you take it seriously, and this in turn will help boost your own self-respect.

A personal example

I’m in the fortunate position of being able to carve out a lot of time for myself today, especially since I’m self-employed.  But that wasn’t always the case.

When I was in college, I took a required class in human-computer interaction (as part of my computer science degree), and one of the assignments was to design and conduct a test and then write a paper on it.  The test part was a group project, but each student had to write their own papers.  This project was worth 10% of our grade.

Due to my heavy class load, I felt like I had more assignments than I could handle.  I estimated it would take about 10 hours to research and write the paper.  I was already positioned to get an A in this class, and if I didn’t write the paper, I’d end up with an A-.  On balance I figured that going from an A- to an A in one class simply wasn’t worth 10 hours of my time, especially when I looked at it from a 5-year perspective.  In the long run, it just wasn’t going to matter.

I participated in the group portion of the project because I didn’t want my team members to suffer.  We designed and conducted a test on using a simple gestural language to input commands to a PC.  I think the test may have been inspired by the old Nintendo Power Glove (kudos to anyone who remembers it).  But after the group work was done, I refused to write the paper.  I told the professor my reasons for declining the assignment and that I accepted the consequences.  He gave me a quizzical look, but he seemed to understand.  I thought it best to tell him in advance, so he wouldn’t be left hanging waiting for me to turn it in.  By declining to write the paper, I earned a zero on the whole project, even though I contributed to the group work.  Sure enough I received an A- as my final grade in the class.

That was about 14 years ago.  Do you think to this day anyone cares that I didn’t write that paper?  The funny thing is that my refusal to do that assignment actually created more value than doing it because it gave me a good story, one that I can use to make a point.  Had I actually written that paper, I can assure you that every word would have been long forgotten by now.  But the story is actually worth something.  With 14 years of hindsight, I definitely feel I made the right choice.  I’m not seeing a lot of gestural language work on my plate these days. 

I’m sure that paper seemed important to the professor and to the other students at the time, but for me it was merely urgent.  School assignments can be valuable, but many are just busywork.  Don’t let other people’s agendas influence your own without some conscious filtering.

Making time for the important is a commitment you must make for yourself.  No one will do it for you.  The natural tendency is for your time to be flooded with to-dos from others.  Very little of it matters.  Be ever vigilant to question where your time is going and what difference your efforts are making in the long run.  It’s not always easy to do this, and it may sometimes feel like you’re swimming against the current, but with practice you’ll realize that the habit of dedicating time for the important aligns you with a more subtle current, one that flows in the direction of greater purpose, meaning, and contribution instead of just greater activity.

By Steve Pavlina

In Daily Visualization, there are two steps for proper visualization. Step one is receptive. You are relaxed and allow images and thoughts to come to your mind without picking and choosing. You are accepting them at face value. Step two is active mode. In this step, you consciously pick and choose which images you would like to see. Both, receptive and active modes are important because they create imagination and after awhile, they will come and go without your knowledge.

Special Problems with Visualizations:
Some people unknowingly create a fear that results in the inability to visualize anything. This fear is frequently caused by the concern of what may be encountered while visualizing. Once you reach this stage, this fear creates a type of mental block. The best way to conquer this fear is to visualize at a slower pace and to think of a relaxing, calm place that you have been or a far away place that you would like to visit. Imagine every detail including colors, smells, and the air around you. The main thing to remember is that your fears only surface when you are afraid to confront something head on. Once you face your fear, you will realize that it is not bad at all and that you were afraid for no reason.

Process of Visualization

1. Set Your Goal
Choose a goal that you believe in and feel is possible to achieve in the near future. You will not have to deal with negative thoughts and can increase your feelings of success as you learn about visualization. Choose something you would like to have, work toward, realize or create. Your goal can be a job, new home, relationship, physical condition, etc. When you have more experience you can confront more difficult or challenging problems.
2. Create a Clear Idea or Picture
Envision an idea or mental image of the object or situation as you would like it to be. Think in the present tense and include as many details as possible such as colors, sounds and feelings. Try to use all five of your senses to make it as real as possible. You may want to draw a picture of what you imagine so that you can look at it later to return to that relaxed, comforting state.
3. Give it Positive Energy
Keep a positive outlook on your goal. Use positive affirmations to remove negative feelings and as encouragement to assure yourself that your goal can be achieved. Remember that as we change, we grow. You may find that your current goal is not important anymore. If this is the case, don’t get down on yourself, change your goal and don’t waste time on something that is no longer important to you. Remember when you were a child and the big question was what you want to be when you grow up? Since childhood, you have grown and changed. If growing and changing were not a part of life, we would still be striving to become that fireman or ballerina we wanted to be as a child. Keep in mind, as you grow and change, your goals and dreams will too. Most importantly, when you reach the goal you have been trying so hard to achieve, make a big deal of it. You have worked hard mentally and physically, congratulate yourself and enjoy.

Once you have your goal set, think of it often, not only during meditation or visualization. Thinking about your goal is a great way to pass the time while washing dishes or doing yard work. Eventually, thinking of your goals will become part of your everyday routine which makes your goals seem more real, not so unreachable. However, try not to obsess too much. This will result in added stress and may produce complete opposite results. In addition, if for some reason you cannot achieve your goal, it will become emotionally and physically draining and hard on your body.

Your mind is repeatedly “talking” about events that take place in your daily life such as work, school, children, and any other item that has an impact on you, as a person. Because these thoughts, words and feelings are important to you, your mind runs through these ideas without you consciously thinking about them or trying to create them. Similarly, it is important to repeat affirmations throughout the day to keep your mood positive.

If you have previously tried any form of meditation, you know how difficult it is to quiet the negative voice inside of you. However, if done properly, meditation can connect you to your deeper, wiser intuitive mind. In one form of meditation, you are encouraged to look at your inner voice as objectively as possible. This voice makes you aware of the thoughts that are continuously playing in your mind, like a movie.

Affirmations may be spoken, quietly or aloud, written or chanted. Choose the method that is best for you and begin your journey to inner peace. Ten minutes of positive affirmations per day may offset many years of negative mental habits. Naturally, the more you become aware of what you’re “telling yourself” and consciously choose positive words and concepts, the more likely you are to create a positive reality for your self.

Daily Affirmations Tips

1. Always state affirmations in the present tense, never the future tense, because you want to create the feeling as if it already exists. It is important to acknowledge that everything is produce on a mental plane before it becomes reality. Instead of saying “I will have a beautiful house some day,” a positive affirmation would be “I now have a beautiful house.”

2. Always substantiate what you do want, not what you don’t want. Saying, “I will no longer be late for work,” is good, but take the affirmation to the next level by saying “I will now get to work on time and will give all the energy I have to my assignments.” This affirmation guarantees that you are creating the utmost positive mental image.

3. There may be certain times when it is appropriate to state affirmations in a negative manner in order to rid your mind of emotional blocks or bad habits. An example is “I don’t need to get tense in order to get things accomplished.” If this approach is necessary, follow up with a positive affirmation of a goal you are trying to achieve such as, “I now stay extremely relaxed and centered and everything is accomplished easily and effortlessly.”

4. A short and simple affirmation is the most effective. An affirmation should be a clear, concise statement that conveys a positive feeling. The clearer the statement, the more powerful effect if will have on your mind. Long, wordy and theoretical affirmations lose the necessary emotional impact.

5. Always choose affirmations that are right for you. What works for one person may not be as effective for someone else. Affirmations should feel positive, expansive and freeing. If you do not get this feeling from your current affirmation change the wording or try another affirmation altogether. You may feel emotional resistance to an affirmation the first time you try it, especially if it is powerful for you and will make a positive change in your life. Don’t worry this is simply the ego’s initial reaction to change and growth.

6. By using affirmations, you are not trying to change what already exists you are creating something fresh and exciting. Changing what already exists would contradict what you are trying to accomplish and it would also create conflict and struggle. Take the attitude that you are accepting something that already exists in your life, and at the same time every moment is a new opportunity to begin creating exactly what you desire and will make you the happiest.

7. The purpose of affirmations is not to change your feelings and emotions, affirmations are designed to help you create more satisfying experiences and a new point of view on life. It is essential to accept all experiences including negative ones, without trying to change them.

8. When using affirmations, try to generate a feeling of belief, and experience that can be true. For a few moments, put aside your doubts and reservations and put all of your mental and emotional energy into the affirmations. If you still have doubts, resistance or negative thoughts that are blocking your progress, simply follow the steps in the clearing process.

People try to find happiness in material things, such as a new car, the latest video game or a vacation. Unfortunately, this path to happiness is expensive and limited. After a short period of time, the novelty wears off and people find that even though they have all of these material things, they are still full of stress and anxiety. To experience true happiness, one must look beyond material things and focus on obtaining true happiness through meditation. The continual benefits of meditation through calm and positive thinking will not only be apparent in your mind and body, but will give you a completely new perspective on life. Learning the basic benefits of meditation is often the incentive that people need to begin practicing themselves. For instance, some work related injuries can be attributed to a person’s stress level. If people are distracted at work by the every day stresses of life, they are more susceptible to being physically injured at work. In addition, stress may also cause people to lose sleep. Fatigue, caused by lack of sleep has been known to contribute to illnesses such as the common cold and may even lead to more serious illnesses like heart attacks. Meditation is vital in controlling the stresses that cause these injuries and illnesses.

The first and most important step in beginning the practice of meditation is finding someone to help keep you motivated. It is important to have a friend, teacher or other support person to guide you through the first step of reading and researching meditation. This person can then be there to help with questions that you may have while on your path to inner peace. You will not see results immediately. Your support person is the one to ensure you are staying motivated, using the correct sitting position and posture and that you are keeping your mind open to change. Meditation is an internal process and if you are not open to change, you will not reap its benefits.

In order to realize the maximum benefits of meditation, you must be willing to practice on a regular basis. Make a realistic goal to practice once a week and gradually increase the frequency to once a day or once every other day. Whichever schedule you choose, make a personal commitment to yourself to keep the schedule and it will eventually become a habit in your daily life. For beginners, meditating more often, but for shorter amounts of time, seems to be the best method. Begin with ten or fifteen minutes and gradually increase your time. If you find this period too long, start with five minutes and gradually work your way up to fifteen minutes. Keep in mind that beginning meditation is like starting a new exercise program. If you jump in too fast, you will not obtain any of the benefits.

Another component in achieving the maximum benefits of meditation is choosing the right time and place to meditate. The time of day that you choose to meditate is essential in your journey to inner peace. If your home is quietest in the morning, you may want to start your day with meditation. This will allow you to start the day relaxed, with a clear mind. If meditating first thing in the morning is not an option, meditating in the evening before you go to bed can be just as beneficial. It will allow you to reflect on the day and will clear your thoughts so that you can get a restful night’s sleep. Finding the ideal place to meditate is just as important as the time you meditate. The ideal place would be a quiet, secluded area that only you use. If this type of retreat is not available, choose the corner of a room and separate yourself with a room divider or some other kind of partition to make the location as private as possible.

Think about how we all operate daily. Observe what you see people do. Really it all just comes down to daily life habits, most of these habits are totally unconscious. The reason that habits are so hard to break is because they are actually a result of repetitive automated cognitive processes in our brains. This means that we actually have to reprogram ourselves to new habits in order to change this process for ourselves.
Its also true that if you do something for more than 3 weeks, every day, that it becomes more of an automated habit, something that I don’t necessarily have to think about before doing it anymore. This is the reason why it’s a good idea to take 4-6 “goal habits”. Along with the goal habits, it’s also important to come up with “support habits” which are supportive of the main habits. This helps keeps a balance in your challenge to achieve your goal. For an example, here is a list of reprogramming habits that I’ve set for me financial freedom challenge:
1.) Physical: Gym/Bike/Run/Swim
2.) Spiritual: Purpose/Mission, Yoga, Meditation
3.) Mental: Audio, Reading Writing
4.) Social: Go out more, E-mail, Text, Call
Also keep an eye on the effectiveness, set your goals effectively by prioritizing them, and then following through with doing the things that are first on the list. Productiveness is also key, decide to do these things in the morning, or at night. Whichever is easier for you. The final thing to keep an eye on is efficiency. Achieve your goals efficiently, don’t multi task.