Another M4M Blog

M4M - Sweet Talker

2011-10-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out to the local club dancing - a "sort of" friend of mine introduced me to an Italian dude. He's such a sweet talker! He said that he saw me a few months ago at the club. He has seen me before and could not stop staring at me. Then he started telling me a lot of sweet things that I did not expect, and did not know how to respond to it besides "thank you" or "you are drunk!" LOL....

As far as the guy is concerned, I cannot tell for sure he's my type or not. But one thing that didn't start out right was that he said to me right from the beginning "I always have the hots for Asians." Personally, that line gets old. The gist of it is that he sounds like a player. Sweet talkers and me don't go very well together. He danced with me for little bit, and he could not keep his hands off me. I excused myself to go to bathroom, avoided him and went to talk/dance with my other peeps. Later on I saw him making out with another guy on the dance floor. I wish him the best! lol ..... He's a good looking guy, it's just that he came on to me too strong!

Jimmy Chen (a gay Asian) on the Tyra Banks Show

2011-09-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Interesting video I ran into, and also a cute/hot Asian dude at the end of the show lol...

What y'all think?

M4M - Club Boyfriend

2011-01-16T06:25:00.001-08:00

It has been awhile since I updated this blog. It's just because there's not much going on in my queer life. But last night at the club.....

See I have this crush with this dude for awhile now, and last night I went out with my fag hag to a local dancing club as usual. She saw him and told me that he's here. I was like ok don't act too desperate. But then I saw him looking at the dance floor, I could not just keep pretending I didn't see him. So I went up and said hi. His name is Alex. He had a nice leather jacket on tonight, which I like. We started talking a little bit, and then I asked him to dance. At first we were just dancing, especially I was sober. I was supposed to be the DD last night. Anyways, he only had 3 Mike's drinks, so we both practically were not trashed. Then all the sudden, the dance became the dirty dance. One thing leads to another, we finally made out. He nibbled my ears, my neck (almost gave me hicky!). What came across my mind was what the hell I'm doing. When I am sober, I'm very conscious in general. There I was making out with my crush! He even got hard. I touched it and I said that must be your glasses. He had glasses in his pocket. He took it out lol and let me touch again. I still acted like I didn't believe. So he grabbed my hand and sticked into his pant. OMG, right? LOL So, pretty much the entire night, we were just caressing, dirty dancing and making out.....

By the time the music was over, and the club was closing, we were just standing on the dance floor. I was waiting for my friend to get me the jacket that I checked. Alex seemed to wait around for me to say something, and I was like ask me to go to hang or chill at your place already lol... but he didn't and I didn't ask either. I don't like to invite myself over like that. Even he were to ask, I would go but still nothing would happen. I even asked if he drove, he said yeah. Can you drive? He said he's sober already. So I just went my own way with my friend, and gave him a hug. That's it. My phone's battery died on me, I thought he would text me before I hit the freeway back home (I live in another town about 30-45 minutes from the city), but he did not, and plus my phone was dead already. I didn't get the text until around 3:15 a.m. It was simple "Sweet Dreams!" I text back "Thank you, I had a great time tonight." No text back. I would think he would text something like "likewise," but nothing!!!

Honestly though, I don't know what I am looking for. I feel like there're so many things going on in my life right now. I asked myself if I have time to deal with emotional stuff, date someone in the city by traveling back and forth. I don't want to rush into things either. For the fact that we both are shy and passive waiting on the other to make the move could possibly kill things between us easily. That's why I told my fag hag that he's my "Club Boyfriend" but has nothing to do with me in life outside the club.

Gay Hookup Sites Review

2010-11-03T15:21:00.001-07:00

ManHunt

I have joined Manhunt for a while now. The atmosphere there is usually exciting. The site itself is not bombarded with tons of ads like others do. They have many cool features such as private messaging, chatting, blocking unwanted users, and seeing who’s online. The cool feature about it that I like is the “Who’s online” section. Manhunt has been around for a long time now, considering that, it has quite many gay men join them. However, the downside about it is that, you have to pay for the service. It’s annoying me sometime that when I reach the limit for free membership, I was stuck there – could not preview any other profiles, could not read/send any more messages. It’s frustrating!!

http://www.manhunt.net

Adam4Adam

I joined this site last year. The first time I saw it, I didn’t like it at all. The interface design is not very friendly. But I like the fact that it has people in my area. So I went ahead and signed up. The site is just full of advertisements, and I could not stand staying online for more than 5 minutes. Until now, I logged on to the site only once in a while. I really don’t have much comment about this site for I don’t use it much.

http://www.adam4adam.com

YetAnotherM4M

This is my new discover this year a few months ago. It seems to be a start-up dating/hookup site. The design of the site is very professional, and I really like the fact that it’s not full of advertisements. The system itself is easy to use. There are a lot of features that I like to use such as sending flirts, requesting hang out and hookup (ahem lol – guilty is charged). I can track who opens my email there so that I know who is interested and who is not. I can also post an instant ad to let other men in my area know what I am looking for. Best of all yet, it’s FREE!!!! I don’t have to deal with the limitations per day. The downside about it though is that, since it’s new, some cities/states probably have not known about the site yet.

http://www.yetanotherm4m.com

What about you? What other hookup sites you go to? And what’s your take on it/them? I gave up on gay.com J

M4M - California Guy

2010-03-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm doomed! Did I just cheat on JC? I think so. Now, I am full of guilt and clueless. I have been with JC over a month now, but the relationship thing just does not seem to go toward what I expected. But I still like him. He's very nice, pure, and cute. But there I was, meeting a new guy that just moved from California.

He has just been in the town for a week. He found me on yetanotherm4m website and messaged me. We exchanged IMs and we have been chatting for a few days. Then tonight he invited me over to his place. We talked, did some workouts (hm... I was joking that he needed to be shirtless and in his undie while working out, who knew he really did it). He's a hottie. I was in temptation while checking him out in his undie, hehe.... Then we watched South Park. At first, it was very casual, but then he gradually moved his hand and started caressing my thigh. I was getting hard for a moment. Right after the show finished, he asked me to maybe stay for a little bit of cuddling. Well, I did. But that's it. I am still not sure why he told me that there's a hot guy at the club that he wanted to ask out. Can someone really do that? I mean, cuddling with me but talking about asking another person out? Or he was just being dumb? hehe... I think he was just trying to find dates, and is not exactly looking for any committed relationship.

Either way, I feel bad. I already had JC, but I was tempted to cuddle with another guy. Although we didn't do anything, but I think the act justifies my cheating. Sometimes, being single is better. But when you are single, no one comes along. It's a curse of life. *sigh* ...... Maybe, he's just another guy that passes me by.

M4M - JC - Part 2

2010-01-23T17:32:00.000-08:00

JC drives me crazy sometime. First of, he told me to go on manhunt.net and looked for another guy to hook up with. lol not sure if he meant it or not. When I text him to see if he misses me, he said maybe and asked if I miss him. I said yes, then he would say me too. Often time, I feel that this unknown relationship to him is nothing but a joke. Or maybe, he never thought hard into it like I do. I know it's been only a couple weeks, and I don't want to expect anything out of it. My rule about going for a relationship is that - I'd rather it not work now before we both go any further and end up breaking each other's heart.

So this weekend he came up to see me and we went out. I was a little bit tipsy, and I noticed he was so self-conscious about himself. Subconsciously, I saw him as a guy who lacks of self-confidence, and is intimidated by the fact that he's a little bit chubby (average type to me). He didn't have fun at the club. Probably, he could not drink anymore until October this year (that's what you get when you drink and drive), so he could not loosen up. I just hope that although he found the club boring, but at least he enjoyed being with me and dancing with me.

Anyway, we got in an argument last night after returning from a new open gay club here. I introduced him to a friend of mine. I told my friend that JC is my man. First of, my friend was asking if I wanted to go smoking with him and I said no because I don't smoke. Then he asked if JC smokes, then JC answered that once in a while. Then he asked JC to go smoking. JC turned to me and said let's go. I was like what the heck. I of course said no because I don't like to smoke and if JC smokes, I would never let him tongue kiss me that night. He does realize how much I don't want to make out with a smoker. I was glad he didn't go, and my friend decided to stay. Then he asked my friend why not dancing? My friend looked at me and said let's go to dance. I didn't want to go and told JC to go dancing if he wanted to. Well, he didn't. It was a test, haha.... So he passed that one. But I started to realize that JC was kind of interested in my friend.

JC asked me if I wanted to drink something. I said no, and he was going to buy my friend a drink, but my friend also said no. JC returned and my friend went to talk to a lesbian. JC asked me to go dancing, I said okay. So we went. But then, he kept talking to me about what my friend was doing. He was literally observing my friend. I was disappointed and I suggested that we should go back home, but he wanted to stay a little bit longer. So we sat down again. My eyes were looking around but in fact, I was observing what he was doing. He was actually looking at my friend a few times. I felt that he was hoping that my friend would return to the seat and talked to us. It was a horrible scene to me to realize that he was actually checking out another guy who happens to be a friend I introduced him to. He kept asking me who I was looking at. I said no one and I became all quiet that night.

We finally decided to leave the club. The club itself was dead anyway. He asked me on the way home that why I wasn't talking anymore. I was sober already by the time I saw what he did. I refused to say anything and I thought that it's over between us. He kept asking me until I said what happened at the club. At first he said he wasn't looking at my friend, or my friend has a cute face but chubby body, etc. Then I confronted him, and he finally admitted that yeah he was looking at my friend a few times. I never expected him to be blind towards men he saw, but you can tell when you look at someone in a spontaneous way and in an intentional way. I told him that it's not late for him to find someone else that would be okay for him to do that right in the face and that I tend to be jealous. So if he's not okay with who I am, it's better to decide now then find out later. He said he liked me and wanted me, but what can I trust and what can I not trust. I really lost the ability to trust him.

He dared to tell me that gay relationship does not last long. To me, it's because sometimes we don't enjoy what we have. It's like what we have is not good enough. We wanted someone else to make us feel good, feel flattered and wanted. But for me, he's already good enough that night. I did not check anyone out because I was with him and it's not an obligation but a respect that I can best give to a guy that I am dating with. It's just a very basic thing, but why some people are so hard to do it? The grass is not always greener on the other side.

The entire night, he apologized and wanted to cuddle and kiss, but I could not do it. If it's meant to be over, I really don't want to pursue any intimate actions. If it was a hook up from the beginning, then I would not mind. But it was an unknown relationship that I wanted to make it become known. Obviously, I am into him. So by the morning came, we made up and I forgave him by giving him another chance.

It happened to me once in the past that a guy I was seeing was asking another guy's number on the dance floor right in front of me. Gay clubs are probably bad place to go to for boyfriends. It requires a lot of security and mutual trust to be able to stand there and resist all the temptations in front of your eyes. My ideal relationship is not just intimate when the door is shut, but also in an acceptable gay environment that we can still be together and no bullshits.

M4M - JC - Part 1

2010-01-23T17:23:00.000-08:00

It started with this guy that I met a few months ago at the local gay club. That time, we were just friends, then he went back to Mexico for a while. He came back and tried to re-connect with me, and we started to hang out, and that's how we were together.

At first, I was confused for the fact that we just slept together doing cuddling and kissing (no sex lol) because I did not know what to define about our relationship. Friends with benefits? I don't want that. Boyfriend? Too soon for that. Then I realize that, why would I be so caught up in this type of "labeling?" I decided to just go with the flow and get to know him better. One part of me was that I just like this guy a little bit. It's not strong enough for me to make any decisions yet. Therefore, I gave this unknown relationship a try.

Gay Asian & White Men

2010-01-07T21:25:00.001-08:00

I accidentally ran into a comment on Gay Banker's Blog. See the author of the blog is a white man and into Asian men. One of the comment stated like this:

"My experience has been that younger white gay men usually add the "No asians please" in their ads. But, as they grow older and they don't get any hot white guys, they go for the younger asian guys. The asian guys, on the other hand, who may have a low self esteem, due to being rejected by a lot of white men, feel a sense of achievement, when they are chased by a white man, even though the white man is older."

What's your take on that? Is it true? It'd be interesting....

Drama Queen

2010-01-02T12:39:00.001-08:00

I went out on New Year's eve. I had to drink so my friend was driving. When the club was about to close, I kind of hooked my friend up with a black dude. So we three went to Sharis to eat before going back to my friend's house. Heck, that black guy's body is so masculine like a man, but his personality is totally a bitch. He was such a drama queen. He created scene at the restaurant. I felt it's funny but at the same time embarrassed because he was loud and got pretty much attention.

Sometimes, I don't understand why some gay guys need to create scenes to able to survive? It can't be just a bitch/queen because all the female friends that I know they don't act like that in public regardless they are drunk or not. But I have seen a few gay men that do stuff like that in a public setting. *sigh*........

M4M - Taller Guy

2009-12-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

I just got back from my trip yesterday and met this guy that I have been communicating with online and via text messages. He has shown his interested for a long time ago, but somehow I didn't feel like meeting him. But then he was very persistent about asking me for a date, and finally I accepted. So we arranged to meet yesterday at my place, for I did not want to go anywhere outside of my house. One, I just got back from the trip, and two, it's too cold to go out.

So he came over. We just hung out and talked. There were many things that we have in common - gym, club, web design, gay movies lol... but I just cannot see myself being with him. It's a subtle feeling. I am not that attracted to him. I meant I saw his photo before and I liked it, but I would have never expected that in person is otherwise. I knew that he was interested in me according to his actions leaning towards me, touching my feet, sweet talking me, etc.

Now it's leaving me with thoughts about what to do if he would ask me out again. It seems to me that he wants relationship more than friendship. I'd rather be friends than lovers with him. He is a little bit tall for me and very goofy, but this is not as important as the fact that I am just not into his masculinity. He's not fem or anything, just not what I expected.

Ugh...... it has to be this way all the time. The ones that I am attracted to don't like me lol, but the ones that I am not attracted to come along all the time.

Getting Drunk

2009-12-27T21:11:00.000-08:00

So I went out last night. It was my vacation in San Diego and I got really drunk. However, I was with my friend who was the designated driver. I have never been drunk like this before. I did know that once I am drunk, I would become someone - my true inner self so to speak. I made the move to talk to the guys at the club, I danced dirty, I let a guy took off my shirt, and I even let them touch/kiss me. But my friend was insinuating to me today that I was immature. He asked me that what's the point of getting drunk? I told him that it was the best night that I've ever had. But he sounded somehow judgmental about me getting drunk. I was speechless. He used to be young before, and he told me that he was a party animal when he was my age and in college. How come he asked me such a question now and didn't like what I had to say? I don't like this. I really don't. I simply just had a good time. I know some guys probably laughed at my drunk behavior, and some probably looked down on what I was doing that night. I really don't care. But how come I still feel being judged by a friend who used to be as young and crazy as I am?

The only reason that I got drunk was because it is my vacation visiting him, and I wanted to have a blast at the club with my true inner-self.

Is the grass greener on the other side?

2009-12-24T05:57:00.001-08:00

My friend once told me that "The ones that are in a relationship or have boyfriends tend to be the ones that want to make the relationship open, look for a new boyfriend, or be single again. Whereas the ones that are LTR-oriented tend to look for a boyfriend so hard, and some almost give up on searching for Mr. Right."

Is it just me or m4m relationship is hard to keep? If you are in a relationship over a year (not open), it deserves a "congratulations!" It often times seems to be lust more than love.

The real question though, is the grass always greener on the other side?

Friends With Benefits

2009-12-21T20:16:00.000-08:00

So I met this guy online and silly me, I should have known that all he ever wanted was a hook up. But I went ahead and met him at my apartment. The first night he was here, we did play around. I then found out that he was not into giving oral. He stayed the night and we did not cum at all. In the morning he was trying to get me going with another play time, but I refused and made up an excuse that I usually had something to do on Sunday morning. So he left and I felt released. He tried to talk to me online and first asked me to be his boyfriend, haha.... I said no because I felt that he wasn't ready for one yet. Then he asked to be friends with benefits. I denied that as well.

A couple weeks later, because I wanted to cuddle I invited him over again. Cuddling lead to another session of play time. This time, he wanted me to give him a blow job again. But I did not. I ended up jerking him off and then I jerked myself off. He used to stay the night, this time after his cumming, he said he had to go. Hehe.. how typical was that (I thought). I guess he got the answer from me. Being friends with benefits is supposed to be mutual benefits lol.... I am not going to be the only one that gives head and no reciprocal.

I decided to not see him again, and I am sure he feels the same way. After all, this wasn't what I was looking for.

Closet Case

2009-12-17T12:59:00.001-08:00

Coming out is a process that appears to be easy for some men but also difficult for some other men. The real question is can you date someone that is still in the closet?

A friend said to me once that he would not date anyone that is still in the closet. He would also not date a guy that is “half in and out.” Not to mention, someone that goes to gay club still is not out enough for him to go out with.

I agree to the point that it is not easy to date someone that is very much in the closet. One that is afraid of this and that when it comes to public exposure even when there are no people around. What is your take on that?

The Beginning.....

2009-12-17T11:28:00.001-08:00

I would like to start this blog as a place where I talk about my gay life and gay life in general. It includes my perspectives on gay relationship, friendship, and of course guys that I meet, hang out with, or go on a date with. Stay tuned!