Then I realized: I’ve never really dated. If I started chronicling my dates on the blog once a week, I might have 6 weeks’ worth of post. Not a dater, people. But there are specific stories I think are funny or deep or that got me thinking in a way I hadn’t thought before.  And there may or may not be funny stories. I also considered starting to date just so I could blog about it. That’s still not off the table. Would I have to disclose that at the beginning of the date?

Since I can’t do this all myself, I am holding an open call for dating stories. If you wish to keep your name anonymous, I understand.

Shoot me an email and tell me a story (Sili{at}MyMamihood{dot}com). In the meantime, I share this with you. Picture me sitting in a swanky New York brownstone, with my coffee close by and my cigarette candy on my lips. In cute undies. Or maybe in yoga pants.

What I Don’t Want

As women, I think that we are programmed to have a list of what we want. I realized after dating this one guy that I also needed a list of what I didn’t want. I was disappointed because on paper, this guy was golden! On paper, we matched up beautifully. He was open with the PDA, called me when he said he would, talked to me on the phone, wanted to know about my day. He did everything that as a woman, I expected and wanted a man to do. It was a beautiful thing.

The first thing that tipped me off? Well, it happened at a basketball game, of all places. Mr. PDA held my hand while we sat together. At least when he could. Because I was into the game and sitting forward, standing up and generally providing my input on the game. In short: I was being a guy. At some point during the game, the ref didn’t call a foul he should have. I got up “Come on, man! You didn’t see that!” I yelled. The next words that were uttered out of his mouth were the beginning of the end.

“Calm down, it’s just a game.” Mr. PDA apparently was telling me that I should sit down and what? Watch the game quietly while the crowd burst about me with energy? Telling me to calm down during a sporting event automatically put him on the suspect list. And I realized then, that one of the things I didn’t want was a mild mannered man who thought I showed too much emotion at a sporting event.

Want to know what happened next? What did he say? What did he do? You’ll have to wait til the next show column post.

Who wants to tell a story next?

The post The Dating Dossier: Mr. PDA appeared first on My Mamihood.

I wanted to give you guys a suggestion: how about you read for that one hour every week? Perhaps we can do a post-scandal book club?

I’m giving you a not-so-short list of books. Hopefully it will hit all of your literary tastebuds. And if it doesn’t, listen: I have a gazillion books in my house, I couldn’t possibly list them all here! Let me know if you need more suggestions.

Legal Thrillers

Awesome Fiction

Hilariousness

I love Sedaris and I especially love him on audio. Get it!

Stephanie Plum Numbers Series - this is a great audiobook series. I call it mental popcorn. Totally worth it.

Deep Non-Fiction

Great Young Adult Books

And yes, I could go on and on and on and on (you get the drift). Feel free to come back for more suggestions or check out my bookstore (I’ll admit I haven’t updated it in like 6 months so anything new and groovy may not be on here).

This is not a comprehensive list. It’s a “3 days ago I came up with this genius idea of book recommendations and oh my! How is it Thursday already QUICK pull favorite books out of your…” list.

I will be in this Google Hangout next week at 10 p.m. to see if we can start the road to this long summer without Scandal. So we can meet every week and talk about the book. Or about how much we’re missing Scandal. I think that first meeting will be all about “ohmigaah! Can you believe what just happened?” and that’s okay too.

Let me see if I can get me some panelists. Who’s game? What books do you think must be on the list?

PS: these are affiliate links but, y’all know better than to think I make any real money off of those. Click if you’d like, buy if you must but know I’m totally getting like a half a penny out of this deal!

The post If You Love Scandal, You’ll Love These Books! appeared first on My Mamihood.

I’ll be writing more about the frog princess and her hair. How I care for it and all of the intricate hairstory that I feel needs to be shared and passed down.

I heard about EverCurl from my girl Yanira and decided to ring my friends over at L’Oréal Paris to see if they’d send me the products so I could try them out and tell you about them.

Well…I’m in love.

I have tried these three thus far. Here’s what I think of them.

Let me start by saying I’m a 3C. That’s my curl type. The frog princess has a mixture of my hair and 2 types of 4 in her hair: A & B. It’s fun.

That means I have “kinky” curls. You can check out all about the curl types on this great blog post.

Cleansing Conditioner

The first product I tried was the L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Sulfate-Free Hydracharge Cleansing Conditioner. This product is part of the first-to-mass sulfate-free system designed specifically for women with curls. It’s a way to gently cleanse your hair while conditioning. Think of this as the curly girl’s all-in-one. I liked it. It was difficult at first because I’m used to feeling a lot more moisture when I’m conditioning but it worked. My hair felt soft when I got out of the shower and the curls dried nicely.

I was very pleasantly surprised that I was able to work the tangles out with only this product as a lot of the all-in-ones are worthless for detangling my hair.  I think the words I used to describe my hair that night were bouncy & healthy. That’s how they felt.

I will say that I think my sister’s hair would appreciate this product a lot more than mine did, though. She’s a 3B (I think).

Shampoo & Conditioner

The combination of L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Sulfate-Free Hydracharge Shampoo & Conditioner did it in my book!  I’ve used nothing else since I got this in my hair.  My hair feels clean and moisturized. My curls look and feel bouncier and my curls appear to be keeping their shape a little longer. Less frizz, definitely.

My hair felt so good and I felt so good about my hair after that first wash, I couldn’t help but Instagram it!

What’s Next?

Okay so 2 things:

Yanira also told me about the Advanced Hair Care Total Repair 5 Damage Erasing Balm. So I went out and purchased it and it lived up to its reputation. Definitely worth the $6.99. I felt that my hair looked healthier after I used it. I think the claims are true: the balm instantly repairs the 5 signs of damage – split ends, weakness, roughness, dullness, and dehydration. I surely felt like my hair. I have been using it about once a week and have been loving it.

I am waiting to try the Hydracharge Leave-In Cream.

After I wash my hair, I normally dab on some curl pudding from CurlKit or some olive oil (or both). I’m always looking to try something new so, stay tuned for my thoughts.

Of course, I’m not going to keep all these products to myself! Here’s a quick giveaway for the entire EverCurl product line!

• L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Silk & Gloss Dual Oil Care
• L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Hydracharge Leave-In Cream
• L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Sculpt & Hold Cream-Gel
• L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Sulfate-Free Hydracharge Shampoo & Conditioner
• L’Oréal Paris EverCurl Sulfate-Free Hydracharge Cleansing Conditioner

*Disclosure: I was provided with some of these products in order to review them. All crazy sexy cool curls are purely my own.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post Curly Girl: EverCurl appeared first on My Mamihood.

After completing a series of workshops through the Emerging Young Leaders mentoring program, participants will showcase their talent and be recognized for their community and academic achievements. The pageant will be a culminating presentation, reflecting ten months of leadership, educational, cultural, and community service activities that will enhance young girls’ lives.

The young lady crowned “Miss Pearl of Promise” will be awarded a $1,000 scholarship. Other awards include Miss Congeniality, Miss Photogenic, and monetary prizes for 1st and 2nd runner-up.

All proceeds from “Miss Pearl of Promise” will be used to provide scholarship funds to each winner, as well as support academic scholarships, and other essential community programs. Since Ivy Tea Rose, Inc.® is a 501 (c)(3) organization that promotes education, health, and social development of children and families, up to fifty percent of all ticket purchases are tax-deductible. Monetary and in-kind donations made to Miss Pearl of Promise are 100% tax deductible.

I have the pleasure of being part of the team of women that are supporting one particular young lady, 7th grader, Ms. Giavonni D. She is ahmazing! Not only is she bright and enthusiastic but rumor has it she is designing clothes and making beautiful garments already! You know how I feel about creativity.

How can I help, Sili?

So glad you asked! Pretty simple, really:

1. Purchase a ticket (or 5). When you do, be sure to tell them you’re purchasing your ticket in support of Ms. Giavonni D.
2. Want to purchase an ad in the souvenir program book? You can either advertise your business or show your support by sending your well wishes to the inaugural event in the form of a paid ad. Ads can range from a full-page ad ($100) to an 8th-page ad ($20). Not bad, right? Shoot Ashley Foster an email if you’re interested foster.ashley7@gmail.com
3. Have a product or service you’d like to donate to the silent auction?  Ashley will be more than happy in assisting to get those products out of your hands  (foster.ashley7@gmail.com)

Go ahead and put this down on your to-do list for the week. Buy a few tickets and come join us! I’d love to see you supporting the community and this outstanding group of girls. So, what do you say?

The post Community Corner: Miss Pearl of Promise appeared first on My Mamihood.

I can’t seem to get the 9 ounces of ibuprofen into the cup. My prayer chant begins. God please don’t let her seize, please don’t let her seize. Jesus, please!

I give her the meds and text her dad. She is in bed the way I found her. Curled up like a snail, arms tucked in, knees under her, butt in the air. Please. God.

She asks for more water and I curse at myself because I don’t have her thermos. Did I leave it in the car? I run to the kitchen and fight the images that come. It takes less than a minute but as I rush back I brace myself to see it.

I hear her singing softly. Sometimes her sounds, muffled by walls and her repetition sound like the gurgling. So my stomach sinks and I feel nauseous. But when I walk in she smiles and politely thanks me for the water I just handed over.

She’s got goosebumps. Now I worry about that. I worry that her temperature may continue to go up. I worry that her temp is going to go down to fast. God, can you hear me? Listen to this mother’s prayers. Please don’t let my baby seize.

I smile. I listen, I check her temp because the dance begins now. I hear nothing back from her dad. Figure he’s fast asleep and consider waking him but he’s got work in the morning. I wish my mom was here.

I wish I didn’t feel so helpless. She tells me we don’t drink the pool and that we don’t eat the beach and I laugh and think that sounds like a good book title. She tells me her tummy hurts.

I check her temp. Its going up. Each decimal brings with it more prayers. Each shiver, each time she clenches her fist. I have to fight the images.

This is what I was afraid of when she picked up that juice box that wasn’t hers when I wasn’t watching her for 3 seconds. Now she plays with the cool washcloth after she has eaten her ice pop.

She gives me her big playful smile and puckers her lips. I lean in and gladly kiss those perfect lips that can speak truth and laughter all at once. We sing. Because that’s just how we roll around here.

My lips touch her forehead. She feels cooler. Now I worry about how fast her temp is going down.

“I wanna be a cowgirl!” She exclaims, out of the blue.

I can’t remember what time this started. The text to her dad says 3:20 am. It is 4:03. My lips tell me her temp is down but I confirm it with the Exergen. 99.8 on 2 different readings.

My baby girl lies back. Ready to resume her slumber. I pretend like I’m okay. But I’m not. I’m scarred by memories of clenched fists and thrashing body. Of saliva pouring out of her mouth with a hint of blood because she hit her lips on the tile. Of prayers for my child to keep breathing and for the convulsion to stop. I pray for so much. The last time, in that brief period my mother’s heart broke open as I thought of others who are less fortunate. Who seize constantly and with consequences beyond my own scarring.

I keep praying as I pretend everything is normal. I think of Amy Grant’s song and how I know so well about the power of those lines “God loves a lullaby and a mother’s tears in the dead of night, better than a hallelujah sometimes.”

I would cry if she wasn’t aware. But she is. So I fuss and I act annoyed when she is overusing the thermometer to take the “tempacha” on her foot.

It is 4:12. I am mentally exhausted. Sleep came to me well past 1 am so I have maybe 2 hours under my belt.

4:14 am and her temp reads 98.6. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you God.

My child smiling past her fever…

The post Better Than a Hallelujah appeared first on My Mamihood.

My first mother’s day was disastrous and I secretly feel set the tone for the rest of my life. I was preoccupied with my mother’s illness having been diagnosed and operated on just weeks prior. My relationship was falling apart and I had no one that I could share some of my fears with. When I did voice them, they were brushed away and I was left on my own on a day that I had thought would be a celebration of this new life that brought me so much joy.

That day was pretty unbelievable.  I was full of sorrow and though I tried to enjoy what would be my last mother’s day with my Mami, it was hard to see past the outcome of all the situations to truly enjoy it. No one was talking about the cancer ravaging my mother’s body. About the radiation. About what was to come.

Dealing with the realization that there were about to be 2 major losses in my life was not easy. This week as I’ve dealt with having to meet my father’s new wife, my own grief that resurfaces during holidays and the bubbling up of some deep realizations as to my relationships both big and small, the emotions of that day have inevitably peeked around the corner of the past.

I have tried to be semi-normal this week (normal has never really been my thing). I have attempted to go about business as usual while on an emotional rollercoaster that rivals any that could be found in Six Flags.

But the truth is that I am heartbroken. I am sad and more importantly, I’m not necessarily in the mood to be what is expected of me. I am tired of attempting to behave as the societal norm would like because ultimately that does me no good.

The Sili in the mirror is raw and has just had a tablespoon of salt sprinkled in for good measure. Though I have schoolwork to handle and follow ups to perform, I want nothing more that to crawl under the covers, get hugs and kisses from my girl and let the day run itself out.

I am sure I will return to normal in a couple of days but for now, I am in my shell and only true love and true loyalty are being allowed in. Tomorrow I will wake up and find the blessings and the beauty of the day because, though I am in this state, I never fail to acknowledge all of the good that is in my life and all of the good that is sure to come.

But for right now, I am the first to admit that I am broken and currently searching for some human-sized glue stick…

The post Broken On Mother’s Day appeared first on My Mamihood.

I got an email from my friends at RadioShack who told me about some cool products to keep in mind for Mother’s Day. I figured I’d pass the info along for those of you that are procrastinators (Who? You? YES! You!).  You can thank me later. These products are pretty much guaranteed to make your gift the favorite this year. Are you ready?

For Home or Office:

I dig my AUVIO® Expandable Bluetooth® Speaker. I use it at the office and with ease can go from having music from my phone or my laptop. And I think it’s too cute, don’t you?

This is also perfect for home. I like to sneak into the bathroom, run a bath, throw in some fabulosity from my Goodie Tin and then blast the music of my choosing. Ahhh, don’t you just feel relaxed already?!

With me using Sammy for all business transactions, I am on the phone a lot so the AUVIO® High-Performance In-Ear Metal Earbuds have really come in handy for those conference calls. My neck totally appreciates them.

For Your Health:

Exercise is always good, as Mamis I don’t think we realize how much we do as we walk, dance, chase and/or run behind our little ones. Now, you can strap on the FitBit Wireless Activity Tracker and feel a sense of accomplishment when you see how much you’ve done in a day. Also for me, this totally gives me justification to wear the yoga pants. Sorry Yanira!

These little trackers are rain, splash (spit, milk, vomit) and sweatproof so you can take it to any workout. It captures all activity and automatically syncs stats to your mobile device or PC.

Now I think I’m going to try the Fitbit Ultra at some point because that also measures how long and well you sleep. Totally not getting this right now because I like the sense of accomplishment I’m getting from my FitBit and know that will go down the drain if I start measuring my sleep.

For the Memories:

This digital camera bundle comes complete with a carrying case and memory card. This Nikon® COOLPIX® S5200 16.0MP Digital Camera Bundle has wi-fi built in for easy sharing of pictures. I’m digging the wi-fi because you know we need to share images 1.2 seconds after we take them. Now pics aren’t stuck in the camera til your kid figures out how to use it.

For the Extra Cool Points:

Now, if you forgot the birthday/anniversary/Valentine’s Day, the Amazon Kindle Fire HD Tablet might* make up for it. This tablet provides all of the entertainment options she needs with all the apps necessary to organize a busy family’s life. Or let her watch some of her favorite shows while she’s hiding out in the bathroom.

*not responsible for reaction from your loved one as I’m not sure of the level of trouble you’re currently in.

Have you gotten Mami a gift yet? If so, tell me! Tell me! Tell me! I want to know. If you haven’t, which one of these do you think your Mami would like best?

*Disclosure: RadioShack has provided me with some of these products in order to test them out and tell you about them. All opinions are my own. Feel free to get me the rest.

The post How to Properly Thank Your Mami With RadioShack appeared first on My Mamihood.

I really don’t know how to explain it. But this Mother’s Day, I have something on my wishlist that I never thought I’d ask for…

That’s a steam mop, y’all! A. STEAM. MOP. Who asks for that?! A MAMI, THAT’S WHO?! It wasn’t until I uttered the words (with excitement, mind you): I want a steam mop! That I realized I was a mami.

Next thing you’ll know I’ll be dropping the kid off in rollers and a housecoat (PS: where does one buy housecoats?).

But Seriously, I Have Good Taste

I have other things on my list that I think make me cool. Certainly that BOMB-A yellow couch from IKEA tops my list. But that’s totally a high end item and I’d get that only if I had a sugar daddy or if I’d manage to stop all this “trying to have my own business” craziness and continue my trophy wife job search. Here’s my (kinda unfinished) wishlist:

• Steam mop - I need this because as you know, my nose is very sensitive and sometimes Chico has accidents that I have to go on a search & rescue mission to find. The steam mop would make my OCD feel better when I clean. Also, it will prevent me from passing out every time I go on a sniffing expedition (how come dogs don’t pass out when THEY go on sniffing missions?)
• IKEA couch – it’s yellow, it’s trendy and modern and it BELONGS in my office. Also, here’s a more detailed list of office things I need. By no means is it done but, I figure you guys can get creative with it
• Wireless router – because the homebase needs to be upgraded lest I drop my signal in the middle of the night
• A DSLR camera – because my brother told me I had to step up my camera game. No idea which one I’m going to get. If you’d like to pick this up for me, I’ll let you decide what you think is best
• Junot Diaz’s latest book for when I have time to read (which is never)
• Stamps – Yes, I’m totally asking for stamps. Don’t judge! I’m in need of around 600 stamps to complete my mailer
• As a subset of stamps: lickers – I need someone to lick all these remaining envelopes closed!

I have other secret wishes. Like a massage. Maybe a spa day over at the Lake Buena Vista Resort. Time at the beach. All my bills paid for 6 months. And a Ford Escape (did I take it too far with that one?).

I’m up and down this Mother’s Day as I suspect I’ll be for a long time to come. With ridiculous emotional rollercoaster rides on top of the whole grief thing I’m supposed to pencil in to my calendar, I don’t know what I will feel like tomorrow or Sunday. And thus my wishlist changes and I go from attempting to be funny with this crazy list to wanting nothing but to pull the covers over my head Sunday morning and having pizza delivered under there.

Small steps, right? That’s what I keep telling myself. I think I’ll keep trying to come up with ridiculous items to add to my wishlist. Keep it light, is what I say! Till the heaviness gets to be too much to bear. And then? Well, call on a friend, of course!

Is Mother’s Day difficult for you? If so, how do you help yourself along?

The post A Mother’s Wishlist appeared first on My Mamihood.

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I am honored to be taking part in the Shot@Life campaign. My friend Nicole from Sister from Another Mister put together this great link up to bring awareness to the cause. I hope you take the time to find out more about what Shot@Life is. In the coming months, you will hear me talking about it and I would love it if you would join me in supporting this great cause.

My girl had a seizure this past week and though it has happened before, it doesn’t get any easier. That helpless feeling is heartwrenching. Knowing that there’s nothing I can do during the time when it is happening and being able to do nothing but hold her, rock her and speak to her during the post-seizure sleep brings new appreciation for a few things. I can’t help but put myself in the position of moms who hold their kids until they take their last breath because they had no access to vaccines.

I cannot take on all of the problems of the world but with $20 I can vaccinate a child for his or her entire lifetime to ensure that a mother will not have that heartbreak.  Can you join me along with these fabulous women?

Each blogger has linked a post about Motherhood to raise awareness for the importance of global vaccinations and called on her readers, fans, friends and family to pledge, to donate and to help make a difference. Consider writing a post, donating to link and sharing in the link up between May 8th and May18th. You can leave as many comments as you like on the main page with a min. $1 donation for each comment. Both linkers and commenters will be in the running for the giveaways that have generously been donated.

The rules are simple:

1. $10 dollar minimum to link your post
2. $1 for each comment, and you may come back and comment as many times as you like
3. Donations are tax deductible
4. The donation page is right here if you would like to read it now.
5. Give aways will be for both linkers and commenters and chosen by a generated program

Link up, comment and share with Sisters From Another Mister and 20 AWESOME BLOGGERS making a difference May 8th through May 18th!

FUNDRAISING ON BEHALF OF GLOBAL MOMS

Sisters From Another Mister, proud Champion for shot@life and the UN Foundation

Every twenty seconds a child dies of a preventable disease
Twenty dollars can save a life
Twenty bloggers are making a difference

Contribute with a blog post and/or comment here and don’t forget to make your donation!

Thank you & happy Mother’s Day!

The post Mamis Helping Mamis Through Shot@Life appeared first on My Mamihood.

I love that Barragan quote because it is simple and true. If I had to tell you about all of these as they related to the girl’s room, here’s what I’d say: her workspace is the serenity part. She can find everything she needs, when she is playing or drawing or painting.  The magic part? Definitely the “castle” as she calls it. That canopy rocks. On the sorcery side are the lights that come on at night when she goes to sleep and shimmer the possibility of magic as she lays in her castle and looks around while she falls asleep. The mystery? Well I think the mystery is simply “how did mami do it?!”.

Here are some of the things I learned during this redesign journey.  I learned…

1. that up until I sat down with their designers, I had no idea what I was doing
2. don’t try to fill a space with furniture, figure out functionality first
3. there is such a thing as too much pink
4. that shelves are a ridiculously awesome way to gain space in a room
5. that I love IKEA a lot more than I realized

I’m reminded once again about how having the right space with the right furniture will make you feel, as the frog princess says…just right!

I used to have two storage bins in her room. Now, I only have the one because so much goes on her shelves and in the pocket storage and bins.

For the future

I am planning on creating artwork on the French doors. The (ex)man suggested glass painting so I think that’s what I will do. On the wall above her easel, I plan on using this cool curtain wire to display her artwork. Because my child is a natural artist and I want to display her beautiful work.

Epilogue

I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to meet and work with the great team at the IKEA Orlando store. Josie, Chris and Kendra have made this experience fantastic. I have been so impressed by the level of detail that they put into their work. Simple things that I think is what makes IKEA such a great brand. I distinctly remember the first meeting I had with them. Chris asked me if I wanted to incorporate flowers into the design of the room because of the special meaning of my tattoo. And I thought what?! Well, Chris had taken the time to get to know me via the blog and my Pinterest boards and I did not expect that.

I think what they bring to families and home living is that commitment to make their living space the best that they possibly can. Something as simple as the designers getting around the kids area on their knees to see what’s accessible to them and what’s not. What works and what doesn’t. I was glad that they did all of that. I will miss working with them on this project but I know that I will maintain the relationship because, y’all know how I am!

So, what do you think of the room?

Necessary disclaimer: This is not a service that is generally provided to the public. Rather, this was done in order to enhance my story (and blood, sweat and tears) as I embark in this redesign. So, don’t be callin’ your local IKEA and telling them I sent you! 

The post Her Room Made Perfect With IKEA appeared first on My Mamihood.