“It will be a cesarean section if the baby is big, right?”  - Ultrasound tech to mother.

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“Well I’ll try, but I really doubt this is going to work.” -Anesthesiologist while administering an epidural to a laboring mother.

“She *HAS* to find a way in here to be induced and she can bring the other kids if she has to and they can stay with her during the induction.” – OB calling the mother’s husband at work to stress the importance of an induction at 42 weeks.

“If I can just show you this product.” – OB to mother, at the end of a cervical exam.  The mother had just suffered a miscarriage.  A clearly visible baby lay in the OB’s hand.

“If you leave vernix on your baby, nowadays, we see it burns the baby’s skin.” – L&D Nurse

“We need to get her in there by 3:30; you know I have to pick my kids up.” – OB to L&D Nurse, discussing the mother’s “failure to progress” and need for a cesarean section.

“See, this wouldn’t have happened if you would have gotten the episiotomy.” – OB to mother, as the OB prepared to repair a tear.

“Where do “Oak” babies come from? “Oak” doctors, of course!” – Billboard in a large metropolitan city  advertising the local “baby” hospital.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re going to start crying too?  You know, I had a woman in labor today who was crying!” – OB/GYN to woman during a very painful pelvic exam.

“Pitocin is the most natural way to give birth.” – OB to mother at 39 weeks, when the mother declined to be induced with Pitocin.