My Personal Journey to a New Found Me

After All This Time....

2012-01-27T16:04:00.000-05:00

I'm back! It's been a long time since I've posted in this blog. I lost interest in it awhile ago, but now I have decided to resurrect it (as if my.other 3 blogs don't keep me busy enough). I've come a long ways since the very beginning of this blog. It originally started out as strictly a weight loss blog, then I sort of broadened it and began posting about my depression and working on my self esteem. I'm still going to do that. I don't know how often I will be able to post here but I will try my hardest to post when I can.

Where am I now? Well, since I last posted here, my husband and I moved into our own house last year, I also graduated college, but I'm still job hunting :o( . I did my externship at a Physician's Weight Loss Center, ironically enough. I learned a whole lot there about weight loss and how to eat better. I got to use the program for free while I was there as an extern. When I weighed myself on their scale, I was shocked and embarrassed to see how high I let my weight get again, after I lost 45 lbs. I gained it all back, PLUS some. Disgusting. I lost 14 lbs while I was there. I weighed in every day and my supervisor kept on my ass about what I ate, lol, so I lost while I was there, but of course, after I left, I kinda stopped. At the same time I was working there, I also got put on blood pressure medication by my doctor because it was running too high. I've been trying off and on since then to lose weight, but haven't put a whole lot of effort into it. I was shocked when I got on the scale this morning and saw that I have lost a total of 24 lbs since I was at the weight loss center. Yeaahhh! I still have a long ways to go, but that really gives me a kick in the butt to keep up with it. I'd like to be able to get off of the b.p. medication. I also noticed that the pair of jeans I put on today are loose on me and they used to be the kind that I had to suck in my stomach just to zip up.

As it stands right now, I'm trying not to concentrate so much on losing pounds, but more on improving myself and my health. Some of the main things I'm trying to work on is to CONTROL MY FOOD ADDICTION! I've been making small steps, like if I begin thinking about having a snack, I think to myself, "you don't NEED it". It's mind over matter and I need to control what I put in my mouth and how I think about food. I'm also trying to eat better foods and less junk foods/carbs.. I'm trying to make little steps this time in the hopes that I can stick with it and slowly reach my goal.

I don't expect to be skinny, but not being HUGE would make me happy. I'm still not going to post my weight. Not yet. I'm still embarrassed of the number, but I'm hoping that I will make enough progress that I will be proud to say, "I used to weigh THIS much, but now look!"

I may also post some motivational stories, photos, or quotes because some times these things really do help.

I probably lost all of my readers a long time ago, but I"m back. Leave me a comment if you are around and say hello! I'm always looking for a weight loss partner.. just to check in with each other and keep each other motivated! Leave a comment if you are interested.

Oh and here is a motivational photo that Bob Harper posted on Facebook. I love these pics, it shows me that it really IS possible to lose it without going on a TV show! I don't know who this gal is, but she looks amazing!!!

Like to Know How Things Are Made

2011-06-07T09:44:00.000-04:00

Like to Know How Things Are Made

Thanks for the post, Erasmo Wiley

“How It's Made” is a great television show. Seeing how everyday objects are manufactured is really interesting to me. I watch it on my http://www.expertsatellite.com every chance I get. When the show has some really interesting items that will have their manufacturing processes shown, I record it on my DVR. From raw materials to finished product, the show demonstrates in great detail how things are made.

I remember Fred Rogers showing little segments of how things were made when I was a child. I've always wondered why no shows were made that had the entire premise being about showing how things are made. In Pennsylvania, there is a PBS show that shows what goes on inside some of Pennsylvania's factories, but “How It's Made” shows products from around the world.

The factory segments are fascinating to me. Seeing the machines produce vast amounts of a product from raw materials is really interesting. There has been more than one occasion when I've used a product and wondered how it came to be. The sheer volume of raw materials that go into making a simple item such as a snack cake for the masses just boggles my mind. Giant bags of flour and sugar are dumped into mixers that are big enough for a group of people to stand in. Then the machines go to work all the way to the point of packaging and shipping. It's good to know where things come from and how they are made.

**This is a paid post.

Self Esteem Tips and Positive Affirmations

2010-04-04T22:52:00.003-04:00

No one responded to my last post. Well, one nice person did wish me luck, but that was about it. Ah well, at least my husband is being supportive. He has been a great help with working out. I've been working out twice a week for now. He really pushes me, he makes me mad some times, but he doesn't let me give up, and I always push harder than I think I can. I'm not weighing myself, not going to worry about numbers anymore. I will judge my weight loss on my clothes and how I feel. I've been feeling a lot better since working out first thing in the morning. My body just feels better afterwards, and I feel stronger phsyically and mentally. Easter weekend hasn't been very good food wise, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I will get there. I know that I will never be THIN or skinny. I just want to be lighter than I am now, and healthier for my family.

I came across an article awhile ago and I saved it specifically for this blog. It was on different ways to help boost your self esteem. The article states that some ways to boost your self esteem are: exercise, eating healthy, participating in things you enjoy, socializing with friends, and taking care of yourself. Those are all great tips, but I also wanted to add something in here about positive self affirmations. I believe that they do work; I've tried them myself. I wrote about them a long time ago here, but wanted to reiterate a few points. First, make a list of things you like about yourself. For instance: I am a caring person. I am a strong woman. I'm great at making people laugh. If you want, you can hang a list up around your house, so that you will see these things often. Repeat them to yourself a few times a day, especially at night before going to bed. You may feel silly at first, but after awhile, your mind will begin to believe these things about you, and you will notice that you develop more confidence in yourself.

If anyone is, or has used self affirmations, leave me a comment and tell me a few of the affirmations you use for yourself! It may give others a better idea on various things to say, or think about!

Fat Old Me.

2010-03-22T22:11:00.003-04:00

I've been repeatedly asking myself if I should even bother to keep this blog going, or if I should just throw in the towel. I really have no regular followers on this blog. I've put the majority of my energy into my work at home blog, even my Rants In My Pants blog has more hits than this blog, lol. I don't have much time to network with other blogs, or recruit new followers, but am I ready to give up? This blog has actually been through a lot.

I started this blog in January of 2007. Initially it was going to be my weight loss blog. My Journey To A New Found me-- my struggle with losing weight. It was great at first, I lost 45 lbs on my own. I worked out at home, on my own, watched what I ate, and it worked! I went through a lot of difficult things in my marriage, and ended up gaining it all back, eventually.

Last year, I really began to work on myself. I went on an anti-depressant to help control my depression and anger problems. The meds. have helped immensely. I've really improved myself. I'm happier. I'm more patient. My marriage is going great right now. I'm in college now, improving my life and making new friends. I wrote about a lot of these changes in this blog as well. Since it all has to do with finding the NEW me.

There's just one thing that keeps holding me back. All of this fat!! I'm gaining control of everything else in my life, but why can't I control my weight?

I've started over today. Again. Trying to eat better, and work out a few times a week. My husband is helping out by pushing me with working out. He does a really good job with coaching, he pushes me to do more than what I think I can do. ..

I'm writing this post, asking for help from someone out there. Someone who knows what I'm going through. Someone who can help me through this. A cheering section, maybe? Someone that I can be accountable to? Is there anyone out there? I will even give you my private email if you are out there? I'm calling to you... can you hear me? The days and years are ticking by, and this weight is going to make my life shorter and shorter. I want to be around to watch my kids grow up, and have babies of their own. I'm gonna try, really try to write more in this blog, and my other blogs. This blog will be all about me, and becoming the woman I want to be. Weight loss, motherhood, wife-hood, college, work.. I'm finally growing up at the ripe old age of 32 (and only a few weeks left of this age, too, argh!!). Any takers?

Can a father cause Bi-Polar in his child?

2010-02-21T20:45:00.002-05:00

Watch this video for more information.

Find Some Pain Relief Online

2010-02-08T10:56:00.003-05:00

There is nothing worse than being in a tremendous amount of pain and not being able to do anything about it. I've been doing some research on pain relief and found something called Tramadol. Tramadol is used to relieve moderate to severe pain. The problem is, it can sometimes be difficult to buy Tramadol.

Tramadol blue book is a website that helps you find easy and affordable access to the medication online. They research online pharmacies and give you their opinion of where are some of the best places where to buy Tramadol.

There is a chance of side effects of Tramadol, but side effects come along with most medications that you get over the counter or prescription wise. There is a slight chance of side effects such as dizziness, nausea, constipation, headache and a few others, but this is only a slight chance.

Apart from human use, it can also aid in severe pain for your pets. No one likes to see their beloved pets in pain, do they?

Some help for those with Bipolar..

2009-12-08T22:16:00.003-05:00

I received this in an email and just thought I would pass it on! I hope it can be of benefit to some of you!

Our online Bipolar Course http://twotreesmedia.com/course_about.html
"Living well with bipolar disorder" is nearly ready. I am planning it very carefully so that what you learn will be with you for the
rest of your journey with bipolar. You can live the life you intend!

It is about ME isn't it??

2009-10-24T22:37:00.003-04:00

Been awhile since I've done a personal update... So here I am again!

Things have been going good just extremely busy, busier than before! Is that possible?? I'm finishing up my second month of school and this upcoming week will be the last week for Intro. to Microcomputers. This class has been pretty boring because it's basic computer skills that I all ready know. I have a 98% in the class so I think I'm doing pretty well. Next month is Composition 1 and I've been told by a friend who has the class this month that there is A LOT of homework in the Comp. class so there goes even more of my time! Between school, working, taking the kids back and forth to school and housework it seems I never have time to myself except to sleep!! I guess it's just a part of life though and it will get better eventually. I'm really enjoying school. I love learning new things and it's good for me to be able to get out of the house, leave the hubby in charge and have some time talking to other adults. I've made a few friends so far and hope to make more with every class. The school I'm going to does things a little differently. You have one class a month, 12 hours a week of class time. I think it's nice that way because I am able to concentrate on just the one subject instead of trying to concentrate on 2 or 3 different subjects!

Fall is here and the scenery is beautiful but it has been cold here and I am just not ready for winter! I'm sure if you have read this blog or my Rants In My Pants blog you all ready know that I despise winter! I hate the cold, the snow, the ice, having to bundle up 3 kids and myself! Ugh!! I am looking forward to xmas this year, though. We have a beautiful house to decorate and each year gets better and better as the kids get older and comprehend xmas and Santa Clause!

Mentally I'm doing pretty good. Still on my meds and most of the time they work pretty well. I do have a day here and there, very rare, where I just want to cry at the drop of a hat! I hate those days!!! But thankfully they are far and few between! I have noticed that if I forget to take my pills for a few days I will get really ill feeling. I will just feel exhausted with no energy, I will be very angry and even get dizzy! It sucks, so I try to remember to take them every day, it's usually on the weekends when I forget because I'm here and there and everywhere out of my routine on the weekend! It just worries me that if/when I decide to go off of the pills I'm going to have a very hard time with withdrawals as I've read is very common if you want to go off of Effexor. I know I can't stay on them for the next 40 yrs or however long I have left, but yikes, the withdrawals sound worse than heroin withdrawals (or so I've heard).

I really hate that my blog postings have been soo sparatic. I really enjoy blogging but the only real time I have to myself is at night and I'm normally too exhausted to think enough to write anything or I just want to spend some time with my hubby!.. Speaking of him, things have been going very well in our marriage. We just love spending time together with and without the kids. Even when I'm at school he will text me to tell me how much he misses me. I'm glad the old husband is back and I hope he stays this time!! Right now, I'm content for the most part!

A better explanation of Depression!

2009-10-02T23:03:00.002-04:00

Take a look at the video for a better explanation of what Depression is and how it feels to suffer from depression

Could You Be Bi-Polar?

2009-09-14T15:03:00.003-04:00

By Dee

What is bipolar disorder? What are some symptoms?
Bipolar disorder is a psychological disorder in which a person experiences an abnormally elevated mood and behaviors for a period of time before unexpectedly shifting into a depressive state. Chemical imbalances in the brain are considered a cause of bipolar disorder, often with some sort of genetic inheritance. Anecdotal reports suggest that knowing someone with bipolar disorder is similar to riding a roller coaster: the person's mood changes irregularly and without much warning, and that in one moment the person seems charged, happy, and excited, and the next, unexplicably down. In more severe cases of bipolar, individuals might suffer from psychotic episodes -- breaks with reality, disorganized thoughts, delusions, and hallucinations.

Signs of the depressive component mimic other forms of clinical depression: persisting sadness and anxiety, hopelessness, guilt, fatigue, interruptions in sleep patterns, loss of appetite, a resistance to be around other people, and so forth. I'll talk about mania more in the next question, but basically it means that a person is really keyed up, hyperexcited, and elevated. Sometimes, clients present "mixed" episodes in which they experience signs of depression and manic behavior simultaneously.

As with any psychological disorders, the symptoms are severe enough to impair work, school, relationships, and practicing daily routines and self-care. For a person to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there needs to be enough evidence to suggest that the individual has experienced both manic and depressive symptoms over a period of time.

One of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is mania. Can you explain what exactly mania means?
"Mania" comes from a Greek word meaning "to enrage" or "to be furious." Imagine what your life would be like if you were hopped up on coffee all the time. You feel super-energized and jittery, are unable to concentrate, experience racing thoughts and actions. Maybe these sensations feel good to you; maybe you feel like Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack in Titanic -- "I'm King of the world!" This is what life is like in a manic episode: always on the edge, always on the go, rushing everywhere and feeling like you do it nonstop (unlike coffee would eventually cause you to crash).

Not all episodes of mania look the same. Sometimes, it appears as if the individual is in a particularly good mood. Other times, it looks very much like the theatrical behavior I told you about a moment ago. Clinicians differentiate between two types of mania: the balls-out, no-holds-barred manic behavior which features elevated mood and some kind of risky, compulsive behavior like overspending money, hypersexuality, or increased risk-taking; and the lower-level, feel good and super happy behavior (without the risky business) called hypomania.

Manic symptoms never appear by themselves. It wouldn't make sense, and it certainly wouldn't gel with reality. Everyone, psychologically healthy or otherwise, can't run on feeling good forever and ever. Emotional states fluctuate. However, persons with bipolar disorder can experience wild and unpredictable mood swings (this is called "cycling") and cannot control their feelings in either state.

I've read that there is sometimes a bit of confusion between being bipolar and manic depressive? Is there a difference? If so, what are they?
Bipolar disorder and manic depression refer to the same psychological disorder. Bipolar disorder is used today because people with the disorder transition from manic to depressive states and back -- thus, two "poles" of dysfunction. This is distinct from clinical depression, a "unipolar" disorder.

How does a doctor diagnose bipolar disorder? Can a medical doctor diagnose it or only a psychologist?
Medical doctors and psychologists can both detect bipolar disorder so long as they both have appropriate clinical, psychological training.

Bipolar disorder is very difficult to diagnose properly. At minimum, the professional needs enough evidence to conclude that the client has been cycling back and forth between manic and depressive states with each state lasting most of the time, daily, for at least one week. The ideal diagnosis would involve the professional meeting with members of the whole family and getting each person's point of view on the client's behavior over a period of time in addition to any client self-reporting. Diagnostics may be extended. Even in the cases of standard clinical depression, professionals need to ask about manic episodes to be sure of a correct diagnosis. If bipolar is treated with the same medicines as clinical depression, bipolar symptoms can actually worsen. Diagnosis may take as long as several months, even years, to complete.

Bipolar is classified as Bipolar I or Bipolar II, depending on the level of manic symptoms. As stated earlier, manic symptoms alert clinicians to the presence of bipolar disorder even without depressive symptoms attached. Think of it like this. The downer will come eventually; our bodies can't stay keyed up indefinitely. Bipolar I is more intense than II, since type II tracks hypomanic signs. There's another type of bipolar called Cyclothymia in which clients alternate between hypomanic behavior and depressive behavior that does not meet the full list of symptoms for major depression. There is also a diagnosis called Bipolar NOS (Not Otherwise Specified) to describe bipolar-like behavior that does not meet the full list of criteria.

Clinicians also try to rule out other competing disorders like schizophrenia, borderline personality, schizoaffective disorders, and substance intoxication.

What are some treatment options for bipolar disorder?
Bipolar disorder requires medication for treatment, usually in the form of mood stabilizing medications and anti-psychotic medications to calm manic episodes. Antidepressants are not recommended because they trigger and exacerbate manic behaviors and may cause suicidal thoughts and ideation, while mood stabilizers tend to relieve both manic and depressive symptoms equally well. Clients should be urged to resume medical treatment even in the absence of symptoms in order to prevent relapse. Side effects include mood blunting (that is, difficulties in feeling or interpreting moods). Psychotherapy and counseling are effective in helping clients recognize mood changes and shifts and managing relationships. It is also recommended for friends and family to seek counseling of their own to learn more about the disorder and how to address changes in behavior, whether or not the client is treating bipolar with medication.

**Again if you have any questions about Bi-Polar, Depression or any other mental disorder feel free to ask in a comment and I will have Dee answer them for you!

Cycling the fat away!!

2009-08-27T14:31:00.002-04:00

Well, let's see... I'm on week number 2 of my weight loss journey. Again, I am not calling it a diet as I still feel that it has to be a life long change, not just a quick fix! I hear so many people talk about how they are losing weight by skipping meals or just eating ONLY veggies and fruits. That may get you the quick fix that you are looking for but what do you think will happen when you lose the weight and start eating normally?? It's all going to come back! I think it is all about portion control and getting more fruits and veggies in your diet (and exercise ofcourse!). Just because you want to lose weight does not mean that you can never, ever eat pizza or ice cream again. Do you think thin people don't eat it?? They do, just in moderation! I'm doing pretty good with my eating.. making sure to get lots of veggies and fruits and eating less portions of the starchy carby foods.

My husband and I got ourselves some bikes last week.. We have both wanted some for awhile but just haven't had the money. We finally did it and I LOVE it! I was afraid to get on it at first as it has been probably about 15 years since I've ridden a bike. I was afraid I would tip right over (or pop the tires)! I did fine though, didn't fall once.. and once I got into the groove of it, I just rode and rode and rode! I love it! We go on bike rides with the kids all the time. I want to ride it every day.. I really enjoy it and it kinda makes me feel young again.. plus it is GREAT exercise! My legs are feeling it but it feels oh so good! I've also been doing some upper body exercises, as my legs are getting most of the work out with the bike! It's also a great thing to do with the family and the kids love it that we ride bikes with them, now!

I also wanted to mention a side effect of the Effexor. When it is hot outside, I sweat.. and I sweat A LOT! I've never sweated a lot, even being overweight, however this summer has been really bad for me and it's not normal for me. I mean it's to where the sweat is literally rolling off of me! My hair is wet, even my clothes get wet. It's GROSS! Excessive sweating is listed as a side effect of it. I was worried it would happen even it was cooler but thankfully it has not happened this week now that the temperature has been cooler. I was really thinking about going off of the meds just because it was disgusting and embarassing! I think I will stay on it though for awhile, at least. The excess sweating may do me some good while working out, too!

Anyway, I haven't weighed myself. I kinda decided that I'm going to stay away from the scales for awhile. If I don't lose a significant amount it will just discourage me, so I'm going to rely mainly on how my clothes are fitting. I may weigh myself just once in a blue moon when I get really curious. I know what I weighed when I went to the doctor a few weeks ago so I'm going to just stick with that for now and wait awhile to weigh again.

Hope everyone else is doing well??

Looking for a good Antioxodent??

2009-08-21T14:35:00.003-04:00

There are all sorts of antioxodent products on the market today. You see them everywhere! Everyone wants to cleanse their body and get all of the bad toxic substances out of there that we have ingested over the years. How can you know which one to use or which one REALLY works??

I've just heard about Reservatrol which is an antioxodent that comes from the skin of grapes.It contains natural antioxodents that help to protect membranes of your cells. It also helps to reduce blood pressue, lower cholesterol and help stop hardening of the arteries. It all sounds great, right? Ofcourse if you want to reap any sort of benefit from it you would normally have to drink a LOT of wine in a day!

There is an easier way to take advantage of these antioxodents found in wine. I've just found a website where u can purchase Reservetrol Supplements! They have many different supplements to choose from to meet your personal needs and they even have RezMelts that dissolve in your mouth! If you are looking for ways to help your body become healthier then I think Reservetrol Supplements may be your answer!

Some new self motivation for losing weight

2009-08-17T12:07:00.002-04:00

I've mentioned a few times about wanting to get back into losing weight. I did soooo good when I first started this blog then when my husband and I began having problems again I got out of the routine and gained most of it back! I went to a new doctor the other day and according to THEIR scale I gained it all back PLUS some! In fact, their scale said I've gained 20 lbs just since being at my old doctor a few months ago. My husband had been to this doc a few times and said he thought the scales were off because it was way over what other scales said.. I tend not to believe that I've gained 20 lbs in the last 2-3 months just because my clothing is not any tighter! I've yet to weigh myself at home though.. waiting to do that until tomorrow morning!

My husband and I both got a big eye opener the other day which gave BOTH of us some motivation to get our butts back into gear! A few days ago we spent the day at Lake Erie. First we went to see a lighthouse. Our kids wanted to go up to the top of it. We did, not thinking of HOW we would get up there, lol. Seventy seven steps is what it takes to get up there. 77! At first I thought, ehh, 77 isn't TOO bad. Heh. I got about half way up before I started breathing heavily and my legs felt like they were going to give out underneath of me. I knew I could have stopped to rest but I didn't want to because there were old people in front of us doing better than I was! I'm talking about people in their sixties being in better shape than me! and I'm 3??? I was too embarassed to stop and rest however I realized that I was fine doing it, i didnt pass out or fall over, I still did it! Normally I would have given up but my pride pushed me harder than I would have pushed myself! I did make it though! After the trip to the lighthouse we took the kids to Cedar Point. Cedar Point is a huge amusement park, I think it's one of the biggest in the country, right on Lake Erie. It's only an hour away from us and my husband and I grew up going there just about every summer as a kid. I haven't been there in 14 years though, mostly because it's sooo freakin expensive to go! Plus, I was afraid that I couldn't fit on some of the rides and didn't want to be embarassed in front of people there OR my friends.

We had a lot fun at Cedar Point. It was all for the kids this time though and we spent most of it waiting on them to go on the kiddie rides! Our oldest son was big enough to go on the kiddie coaster so my husband decided to go on it with him. He got on the coaster and the seat belt wouldn't fit! He had to get up with our son in front of everyone and leave, until the woman running the ride had him trade seats with someone else where there was a bigger seat belt to try. Holding up the line and ride, he got into the second seat and the seat belt did fit but just BARELY. The woman running it proceeded to jump up and down and "woohoo" it up, just drawing more attention. I watched from afar with our younger twins, feeling so horrible for my husband, however I do know that he does not get embarassed easily and things that would embarass me don't really embarass him! They DID get to go on the ride but it was a rough start!

That night before going to bed we were talking about what happened and he told me that he was embarassed of it, but yet also pissed off at america.. I mean why do they make seat belts soo short when you can tighten them up?? But anyway, I'm off point now.. he said it was motivating him to want to get in shape and lose some weight. So, we are doing it together. Starting today! Eating healthier and trying to be more active as much as we can. I've done it before so I know I can do it again. We also decided that we are going to do this together so that next year we can go to Cedar Point and ride ALL of the roller coasters without having to worry about being able to fit in the stupid seat! I guess it will be a bit of a fear breaker for me as well as I'm afraid of heights and normally stick to the mild roller coasters. I've always been too scared to try the BIG ones, but if I can lose weight then I want to over come this fear as well AND with my husband! Isn't that good motivation? That's just on TOP of all of the other motivaters I have in my life, especially now that my kids are getting older and more active!

So, that's where I am right now. Back to trying to lose weight. Not trying to DIET, trying to change my habits as this needs to be a life long change! I've gone back on sparkpeople.com (link on my fave websites list over to the right). If anyone is on there feel free to add me as your friend!

Oh and also, I've just enrolled in college! I was taking some online courses for Vet. Technician but I just think hands on classes would be better for me. I start August 31, 3 evenings a week 4 hours each night. Yikes! I'm very nervous about this. Normally I would be worried about going to a class with a bunch of strangers but I'm not even worried about that! I'm worried about TIME and having time to get everything done! As if I'm not busy enough with the kids and working and cleaning.. etc., now add on 12 hours a week of classes PLUS homework!! My oldest son starts school on the 25th so now we will be busier and he will have his own homework to do as well! I already get burned out as it is, I don't know how I'm going to handle all of this but I am going to do my best and hope/pray that my husband helps out more! Soooo, that's where I am! Here are a few pics from the other day at the Lake!

My New Blog!

2009-08-08T16:26:00.003-04:00

I've finally got my new blog up and running! Woohoo! I'm soo excited about this blog even though it really will serve no purpose but for me to share some of the more personal things going on in my life! The first post is just an introduction to myself and my family, so if anyone is interested come find me at Madam Sarcasm

Some updates and memory lane!

2009-07-29T11:47:00.003-04:00

I was sitting here trying to decide what my next post should be about. I began thinking about this blog and how it all got started. I realized that I've had this blog up and running for 2 1/2 years now, started in February of 2007! Originally it was supposed to be about my weight loss, which it was for the first year or so. I did lose some weight a long the way and think this blog helped me a lot!

I was sifting through some of my very first posts and wow it brought back some memories! I thought it would be fun to share them with some of my newer readers who may not have read them!

This one is my very first post telling a bit about myself and the blog: Who Am I?

These are a few of my favorites articles that I wrote in the beginning and am excited to have some of you read them again!

Being The Fat Girl

Eat To Live Don't Live To Eat

Last year, I turned over a new leaf with the blog and sort of switched more into talking about my depression. I wanted to cover a bit of everything; my fight with depression, information on depression and other mental illnesses AND weight loss!

Weight loss has been an on going struggle for me since I was a kid! I'm still struggling with it. I've gained some of the weight back that I lost. It's the one thing that I absolutely hate about myself and feel that I can not control! I don't want to be the fat mom, I don't want to end up like MY mom who has problems walking now because she has literally no knee left in her leg because of her weight.

I'm trying to start over with the weight loss. I hate calling it a diet! I'm not going to do anything drastic, just start eating healthier foods and controlling my portions of the "bad" foods. Also, want to try to get more exercise again. A friend of mine is trying to set up a weight loss support group, so I am very excited about that! I have to do something, I have to save my life! My husband has a lot of health problems stemming from his eating habits. He knows that he has to eat better and lose weight however he just talks about it but never does it. We both have to change our eating habits and be healthier for our kids and each other so we can grow old together!

Sooo, this blog will be a bit about both weight loss and depression/mental health as I believe that they can both go hand in hand. I believe the better mental health you are in, the more willing you will be to treat your body better!

Also, next month I'm starting a new blog! Yes, I've been itching to start something new (as if I'm not busy enough, right??). This one is going to be a personal blog, where I will post more personal things going on in my life, my family, my job, my friends..etc. It's going to be raw and opinionated and hey, I might even throw in a few curse words here and there! I'm not going to worry about how much readership I have or any of that, it's just going to be my own personal blog to vent in or share things in that I don't normally share in my other blogs. I'm sure I will post lots of pics and lots of random things. Once I get it up and running I will post a link here in case anyone may be interested!

Is depression inherited or not??

2009-07-15T23:05:00.004-04:00

I was doing some research earlier to find out whether or not Depression can be inherited or not? There are various answers to this question. The main answer I came up with is some can inherit it and some don't.

However, think about it. If you are raised by a parent who suffers from depression and you were around that every day, wouldn't it rub off on you and you start to learn that same behavior that your parent exhibited? It would make sense that it would become sort of chiseled into your head subconsciously after growing up around it constantly. I notice in myself that some of the symptoms I have remind me of things that my mother did or how she reacts to things. Do you think we can teach our children to be depressed without knowing it?? Makes me very glad that I'm on medication now to help me control my symptoms. I never want my kids to go through the sort of depression that I have gone through.

I read somewhere that there is a depression gene that can be passed from parent to child. It may be laying there dormant until the person goes through something traumatic and it sort of "activates" the gene. That would make sense, too, considering that some depression is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. A chemical imbalance can not be learned, can it?

I'm not a doctor, just thinking out loud and hope to get some opinions on this subject? Anyone???

Summer has arrived!!

2009-06-30T11:46:00.002-04:00

I'm back after a bit of a delay. Been working on a few other things online.. plus spending some good family time summer fun with my kids!! It was blistering hot last week so we ended up going to the beach at Lake Erie and also the Neil Armstrong Space Museum! This summer is starting out great so far!! However, being white as a ghost and out in the hot sun last week caused me to have a very bad bout of sun burn! I could barely move for a day or two and yes, I did use sun block!! At least now I am finally tanning, instead of just going back to being ghost white! lol

I did find some time to work on the blog. As you can see it looks a bit different. Not drastically different but I did make a few changes! Obviously I made some changes to the color scheme and layout. I think it added a little somethin' somethin' to it. Made it not so boring!! I know there are a lot better layouts out there but I'm happy with this one for now! Also, I cleaned up the side column so it looks a little better. Added a facebook badge, so everyone can add me on facebook! Also, if you like one of our posts here and you are on twitter you can tweet about it right from our page! Just click on the headliner for the post and at the bottom you will find something that says, "Tweet this". Don't forget that I'm on twitter and if you follow me I will follow you!!

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Now for a little update on ME. I am still on Effexor and it has done wonders for me!! The positives:

** A lot less emotional.. I don't cry all the time or over small things like a commercial! lol
** I am a lot more patient with my kids.
** I have more energy to do things around the house.
** I'm not so moody with my husband all the time, which has helped our marriage tremendously!
** I don't stress over the small things any more.

Now don't get me wrong, I still have a few bad days here and there, but they are only maybe twice a month! I am loving life now, enjoying my kids more, enjoying my husband more! I feel like these meds have saved my life!! My only worry is that I've heard that after so long Effexor can start to lose its effects and then you have to ween off of it to go on something else. I'm crossing my fingers that it doesn't happen, however sometimes I wonder if I am going to have to be on medications for the rest of my life?? Do I want that?? Hmm, something to ponder, eh!

The only negative side effect I have noticed from the meds is decreased sexual appetite, however, I have 3 young children, I work and go to school.. do I really care?? Not much, haha!

Life is going pretty good right now. My marriage is going well, my kids are enjoying the summer and I am enjoying life!!

Maintenance...

2009-06-22T10:08:00.003-04:00

I'm going to be playing around with the layout of this blog for the next few days. Just tweaking a few things and cleaning up a little bit! If things look a little crazy here it is probably because I am in the middle of working on the layout! Don't let it scare you away! Just come back later when I (hopefully) have it all figured out!! Thanks!!

Some great Depression information

2009-06-17T14:16:00.004-04:00

Our guest writer Dee and I discussed writing our posts in an "interview" style instead of an article style. this way we can make sure that he focuses on the sort of information that a lot of us are looking for! If you have ANY questions on depression or any kind of mental health feel free to post it in a comment and we will answer it soon in this blog!

~~~~~~

How can someone know if they are just having seasonal depression or a phase or depression or if it is something they need to get help with?
I think we should back up just a little bit and get clear about what depression means first. What we mean when we say someone is "depressed" in everyday talk may differ quite a bit from what a psychologist or a counselor calls "depression." In everyday language, depression usually refers to a state of feeling sad, down, "blue," or ho-hum, which is usually brought on through everyday hassles, stressful situations, or problematic relationships. Feelings like these are rather common and natural; we all become saddened at some point or another, and we usually snap out of it. People facing depression aren't as quick to shake it off and may find themselves acting out in ways that aren't typical of how they have behaved in the past. For example, a generally upbeat and optimistic person who enjoys being around his friends may find himself alone on the weekends, choosing to ignore phone calls and sleeping frequently. Or, someone who is really good at keeping a busy schedule and being on time for appointments and meetings may start missing days of work without a reasonable explanation. In any case, when these feelings of sadness and despair become so strong that they start getting in the way of how we interact with people, or how we perform in work or in school that people may need to seek some help. Some people dealing with depression recognize that they are out of sorts and refer themselves to professional care, while other people are so bogged down mentally and emotionally that a trusted friend or loved one will have to make the call for them.

What are some things that people can do to help get through depression on their own?
First things first. I think people have to recognize that if depressive symptoms are really severe that they can't fight them on their own. So I think that we need to be clear that, whatever someone is going through, whether it's just a minor setback that can go away with a bit of effort or if it's more serious than that.

For now, let's just assume that we are dealing with some minor stuff. I recommend doing a couple of things. Whenever I'm working with a client, I want to help that person get to the root of the problem. Whatever the situation, it is good to explore what's going on and see what's going on that may "trigger" these negative feelings. Another good thing to hunt down are "patterns" of the problem. For instance, if someone reports that they feel used all the time, I would ask about the people that tend to take advantage of the client and how they go about doing that. When clients start digging a little bit and making connections, then we can work together to build up some solutions. So, after exploring feeling used and abused, I learn that a client feels like she can't say no when asked to do a favor because she wants to be a good person. Quite simply, we would practice saying "no" and rehearsing situations in which it's okay to say no, and we would correct the mistaken idea that people can only be good to one another if they overcommit themselves. Therefore, the everyday troubles that we all go through can be worked on if we step back a little bit and try to figure them out in greater detail, looking out for patterns, and then working on solutions to correct those problematic patterns.

Some people don't believe in taking medications for mental disorders. What are the pros and cons of taking them? How do doctors decide who needs to be on medication for it and who may just need a little bit of therapy/counseling?
The simple answer is that talk therapy can do quite a bit of good so long as the client is into it, and the professional does therapy with care and in the best interests of the client. However, some professionals recognize that talk therapy has limits. For the really deep, serious problems, therapy might not deliver solid outcomes, and it's at that point the professional offers a referral. I think it's difficult to answer how doctors choose medication versus therapy because, really, it largely depends on how they're trained. Some doctors think medication can solve everything. Others politely disagree, and still others take a middle-road approach. Rather than take a stand on either-or, I honestly believe that a good intake session and early therapy work needs to get a complete a picture of what's going for the client, and that that picture will guide accordingly.

As with any medication, people need to know how to use the medication properly and to be aware of any side effects. Common side effects of anti-depressant medication include headache, dry mouth, restlessness, changes in sleep patterns, and sexual side effects (e.g. lack of arousal, lack of libido, decreased performance). Within the past couple of years, medications advertised on television warn clients to discontinue medication if they experience thoughts about committing suicide. There's a really great article on Wisegeek.com that describes symptoms associated with different types of medications like SSRIs and tricyclic medications. The pro- of taking medication, of course, is that, if taken correctly, they are helpful in alleviating symptoms. Clients should expect a period of trial and adjustment to medication. It will take some time for it to work, and in the early stages, the attending psychiatrist may change dosages or medications in order to get at the right dose. Some symptoms may feel uncomfortable. Clients should be warned about what to expect, urged to pay particularly close attention to how they feel on medication, and to report it during the course of therapy.

Do you think it would be better to fight depression with medication AND therapy both? Or could one or the other help on its own?
Personally, I don't think it's an either-or question. I think good counseling considers the advantages of both medication and talk-therapy as well as the client's needs. Depression situations differ greatly from case to case, and getting the full picture of what's going on with the client can really help solve the dispute.

Do you think the amount of people afflicted with depression has increased with how the economy is this year?
Excellent question. I'm not sure, actually. I suppose I say this because people can cope with being broke and struggling to find gainful employment, and that depression is as much a situation problem as it is the biochemical and physical goings-on in our bodies. That said, I would not be surprised if being broke is that proverbial straw that breaks a camel's back.

In any event, I wanted to wrap up with one thing. We have been talking about depression and treatment options today, and one thing I hope is that people do not feel ashamed about seeking professional help for problems. I think there is still a troublesome stigma about mental health treatment: that the only people that get help are truly "crazy," that people should be able to fix their own problems without needing help from other people, and that if you do seek help you're weak or helpless or incapable of handling your life. The truth is, people pick up and learn different coping mechanisms to adjust to the difficulties of life. Some things work; others don't. When you run out of options, you can look up self-help literature, or talk with friends and family. What's the difference between that and counseling? Ultimately, at the end of the day, people are making informed, conscious decisions to do better for themselves, and as long as you get something beneficial from it, then there's nothing wrong with it.

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Don't forget, Dee has his own blog called Brainspitter! Be sure to check it out and show him some support and appreciation for his valuable information!

Can the food you eat make a difference?

2009-06-12T14:16:00.003-04:00

What sort of affect can food have on you and your body?? Watch this video to find out more!

Welcome Our New Guest Blogger!

2009-06-05T14:52:00.004-04:00

Soon I will be posting articles by our new guest blogger named Dee (how ironic as my nickname is Dea pronounced "Dee".. guess that means we are a good match??) I'm going to let him introduce himself. Be sure to check out his blog and expect to read more from him here soon!! ------------------------------------

My name is Dee. I'm 29 from Tucson, Arizona, and I'm a graduate student in sociology at the University of Arizona. I'm originally from Lexington, Kentucky. Before moving out here, I got a Master's degree in counseling. I ran a parenting workshop for parents in the drug court system back home, worked with children who were physically or sexually abused, and I also gave counseling for persons with chronic disease such as AIDS. Before moving here, I also worked part-time for a behavioral health clinic, helping individuals manage weight and exercise programs, ease stress and anxiety symptoms, and work in partnership with their doctors.

My blog is called Brainsplitter. I gave it that name because, basically, I got tired of using my blog to rant about what's going on in my everyday life. I don't really think I'm that interesting a read anyway aside from the few zany stories I get myself into. Anyway, I use my blog to talk about politics and current events, relationships, stuff I'm reading about or studying: basically, thought-provoking stuff to make readers say "hmmm." My writing took a bit of a turn during the most recent presidential election. I started covering the news cycles and offering commentary about current events. It has also been a good outlet for me as a student to talk about research and substantive interests. In my spare time, I like to hang out with my friends, play volleyball, and I enjoy a good beer every now and then.

Something to think about!

2009-05-28T11:57:00.004-04:00

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”
~Unknown

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high.
Look the world straight in the face.”
~ Helen Keller.

"A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work."
~ Sir John Lubbock

"Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times."
~ Napoleon Hill

“Waste no more time talking about great souls and how they should be. Become one yourself!”
~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

“Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.”
~ Rosalynn Carter

Join in the Love!

2009-05-17T21:12:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to post and invite anyone who would be interested in being a guest blogger here to feel free to send me your submissions! I can't pay but I can offer you some free advertisement here! I am looking for anything to do with depression, mental health, weight loss or stress management. Contact me through this blog and we will discuss the details!

Also, as always, I'm always looking to trade links so if you have a blog that you think will fit in with ours just leave me a comment with a link to your blog and I will check it out! It's just another way to help each other out!!

What a long month!

2009-05-11T22:48:00.002-04:00

I'm baaaacckkk! Yes, I am! Had a very busy last few weeks. We loved our vacation to TN. It was great! It was our very first real family vacation and we all enjoyed it! TN is beautiful and everyone is so friendly! We saw a lot of beautiful places and saw some interesting things! We didn't want to go home, in fact, we stayed an extra day!

A week after we returned from our vacation, we moved. This past week has been very hectic between moving everything, emptying out our old house and getting it all cleaned up. Now we are finally free to start unpacking and get settled in! Yay! I LOVE our new house! It's soo big and beautiful! I'm excited to see how things go now that I am back in my hometown! I wish that I could just snap my fingers and have everything unpacked and put in its place.. then I would be happy!

Obviously we have been very busy and I have not had any free time to blog. Any little bit of free time goes to working! Apart from the busy-ness (yes, I know that's not a word, but I like it) of my life, things are going good. My meds are still helping a lot. I just feel peaceful most of the time. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect EVERY day, I still have my moody days, especially around PMS time but they are far and few between. I just feel relaxed and I'm able to let things go instead of dwelling on them and letting them eat away at me. Things are going good with my marriage now. I think we have become closer but in a way, I also feel nervous about it as well because don't know when they could change back to the other way!

I'm happy that I have stuck to my meds. I really think they have changed my life. I think I'm a better mother and a better wife because of them! Some people don't believe in taking medication for mental problems but why suffer when you could be enjoying life??

Hopefully I will get back into a daily routine again and can start posting regularly soon! xo

Maybe it will work THIS time??

2009-04-07T23:23:00.003-04:00

Well, had something sort of exciting happen last week. I got a treadmill! Guess what I paid for it?? Nada! Nothing! Zilch! Zero! Yay! I was checking out the local newspaper online looking through the help wanted ads. I don't ever look at the free ads but something told me I should look and I saw someone was offering a treadmill. I made my husband call it because I hate calling people, lol and he went and picked it up later that day! It's in fine working condition, the only part that doesn't work on it is the "calories burned" part but I don't really care about that. My husband and I have both been using it on a pretty regular basis. It's really motivated me to start getting in shape. I'm trying not to focus on getting "thin" just being healthier and getting my body into better shape. My biggest problem is still my eating. Today was a bad day.. but tomorrow is a new day. I'm just trying to cut back on carbs.. Not take them out of my diet completely just cut back on them as they are a big weakness with me and concentrate on eating healthier foods like fruits and veggies. I would really like to try doing a body cleanse but I just don't know if I could stick with it for 7-10 days especially when I have 3 kids that I would have to cook for. I would be alright if I didn't have to cook food but it is a lot more tempting when the food is in front of me. I'm trying to get my husband into eating better. He is complaining about getting heavier and how he has really been working hard on the treadmill but feels like he is getting bigger instead of smaller. He is doing good with the workouts but horrible with the eating. Still eating junk food and expecting the weight to fall off. I'm no angel but I'm trying to do better. I can't force him to eat better though, he has to do it himself.

Have a very busy month ahead of us. My birthday is Thursday, April 9. I'm not telling you my age though, I don't like getting older!!... Easter this weekend, with the in laws on Saturday then my family on Sunday. Next Thursday we will be leaving at around 3am heading for Tennessee! We are taking the dog with us so we will be staying at a hotel. Will be coming back on the 21st. I'm soo excited! We have so many fun things planned to do with the kids. I've never been there before but have heard how beautiful it is there. My sister in law moved there a few years ago. My husband has been bugging me to move there for awhile, so this is going to be my chance to see it and decide if I think I would like to make the move some day.

Then the first week of May we are moving! I talked my husband into taking that house in my hometown. Yayyy! I'm just so excited about everything coming up! My life is normally pretty boring so I have lots to look forward to.

Sooo.. obviously, you should be expecting a delay in posts for a little bit. I'm sure I will have lots of pics to share of my trip to TN. I will try to post when I can! Hope everyone has a good Easter!