My Reality Bit

And You, And You, and YOU! -- You're Gonna Love MEEEE ... Um, Do I Have To? Jessica Sanchez Duets With Jennifer Holliday. Yikes.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 25 May 2012 17:04:00 +0000

American Idol runner-up, Jessica Sanchez, sings(?) a duet with Jennifer Holliday. I wasn't sure who she was either. In fact, I'm still scratching my head. I just know a vision appeared on my television Tuesday night around 9:45 p.m. It wore a green dress. It had a head. I think a weave. And definitely a mouth. I'm pretty sure Jessica Sanchez stood next to it. There might have even been some singing. Or was it profuse yelling? Um, Seacrest told me it was singing, so I have to go with that. I'm still twitching nervoulsy in my bed at night thinking about this Tuesday night vision, but with therapy, my counselor says I'll get through it. Here it is below ... Enjoy?

I actually think I'm having flashbacks! Yes, I HAVE in fact seen this before..

The Bachelorette Premier: Ali Is Our "New" Love Journey Taker ... But Some Things Never Change.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 25 May 2010 03:06:00 +0000

(Girl, you so crazy!)

Watching tonight's premier of The Bachelorette actually inspired me to put up a post. Short and sweet, I give you my thoughts on tonight's debut episode. (Sigh. This is what my writing has come to.)

1. For the love of God, Mr. Bachelorette Producer: If you're going to give Ali hair extensions, at least make them shiny and fresh.

2. If you bring a "gift" (i.e., a scrapbook), you better expect to be dubbed the guy who gets the "Bachelorette stalker music" in the background.

3. A d-bag shirt like "Rated R" or even a job as a pro wrestler will get you backlash from the other suitors ... HOWEVER, your name in the box will undoubtedly get you a rose.

4. When Ali says if you don't get a rose, "it's nothing personal," don't believe her. Because, actually, sweetie, that's exactly what it is.

5. There is always someone who gives a dance lesson ... and

5. Lastly, if you tell a girl why your nickname is "Shooter" on the first night, you best expect a premature evacuation from the show. (Ba-dum-dum-dum.)

That is all. Who are your early favs? I like Jesse: the heart whittler.

It's a Crystal / Lee Finale ... And I'm Alright.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 20 May 2010 17:55:00 +0000

(Bye little, Casey. Hey, we'll always have "Jealous Guy")

I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
The end is now in sight
Will it be Crystal or that damn sexy Lee?

Yes, folks. Don't worry about me. I am still alive. I just haven't been posting as regularly because I've been waiting to be moved again. And if those hometown visits last night didn't get you a little misty eyed, well then may I suggest you check your pulse.

In what was probably the most predicted elimination, we said goodbye to that Cool Texan, Casey James, leaving us with the two most deserving contestants of season 9: Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox and Lee "You Can Mix My Paint Any Ol' Time" DeWyze. And while I have always thought Mamasox would wind up with the win, I find myself pulling for Lee. But (unlike last season), I can honestly say that I'm alright with either. (And I think most people would agree.)

Lee's hometown visit ... well, let's just say it doesn't get any better than that. Lee epitomizes what American Idol is all about to me. I mean, we have seen Crystal's YouTube videos, wherein she sings her city's "anthem" (how cool is that?!) "Holy Toledo" to what seems to be an already established fan base. Lee, on the other hand, comes straight to us from Mt. Prospect Paint! And how can you not love his ever-present pink eye and his ever present cupping of the hands, only to place his cute little head in them, and shaking said cute little head in disbelief. If I had a nickel each time he did this ... Well, I'd still be broke, but you get my point.

"I'm going to win this thing, alright!?," Lee shouted to his fresh new fans as the window in his limo was closing. And he said it in such a way, almost convincing himself, that you just couldn't help falling in love with the sentimental fellow. If that didn't get you, cut to Lee singing "The Boxer," choking up on the line "I am leaving, I am leaving," cut to his incredibly cute dad, singing along, only to at the same moment, get choked up himself, shaking his head in incredulous disbelief. Like father, like son. Yes, it doesn't get any better than that folks. Living out your dream - instantly being surrounded by a sea of adoring fans - in front of the world.

So what do you think of our Final Two? Need I ask? Did you think Casey got a raw deal? I mean, they made him sing his swan song sans guitar, for the love?! I know ... let's have you grab a random little girl and have her sit still on your lap to make up for this awkwardness. Seriously, who was that girl and where did she come from? I'm back. And so again is my love for this damn show. 'Til next Tuesday my little Idol-Addicts.

The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Crazy! Spencer Goes Off His Rocker

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 05 May 2010 21:02:00 +0000

The Hills - MTV Shows

In case you missed it, check out the clip above and see how Spencer has officially lost it. Publicity stunt? Probably. I mean, it has caused me to write about him after all. It's actually quite amusing. Spense is always good for a good giggle. And speaking of fame whores, what's up with Ryan Cabrera? Let's do some deep thinking for a second: Exhibit A - He was dating Ashlee Simpson when she had her own reality show. Yeah, remember that? Exhibit B - Then, we saw him dating one of those annoying ugly-crying girls in Pretty Wild. (Be grateful if you don't watch this show.) Exhibit C - Now we see him wooing our very own Dreen-ster in the new season of The Hills?! Coincidence? I think not!

American Idol Season 9: Frank Sinatra Songbook Makes Me Blue ... That's Life! (Recap)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:29:00 +0000

Well folks, I thought I'd write a post tonight about our American Idol Season 9 contestants tackling the songbook of Ol' Blue Eyes, himself. No, I'm not talking about Harry Connick, Jr., although the Louisianin(?) should be noted as he did go above and beyond the mentoring call of duty - giving Michael Orland the boot and stepping in as composer and even tickling the ivories for the musical accompaniment to our remaining five contestants. I'm talking about Mr. Frank Sinatra, whose songbook we saw covered during our beloved Season 8. And, while I knew nothing would compare to Adam Lambert's "Feeling Good" or even Danny Gokey's "Come Rain or Come Shine" (click here for one of my most popular recaps ever), Lee did manage to gain more steam toward his Idol crown while the rest left me lukewarm. Ah well. That's Life. Nonetheless, I give you my run-down of tonight's performances:

First up! Haley Joel Osment! Who was looking very dapper tonight, I might add. He sang "In Other Words," wherein he riffed a little too much, but then again, what can we expect from a high school student? (Gasp!) Simon said if Frank was a lion, Aaron was a mouse. Agreed. In other words, I'm sooo over this little country noodle.

Next up: Casey James. But I can't remember what he sang, and it's only been 20 minutes since he sang it! What I do remember, however, is that Casey was sans guitar. Oh Em Gee! I thought he warned us that we would ALWAYS see him with his ax. Kara compared his vocal bravado to a lamb, but I always thought it akin to that of Eddie Vedder. I will agree with Ellen, who astutely noted that Mr. James did not move around in an easy way, with Simon adding that he looked "uncomfortable and embarrassed." Um, yeah. So was I. And I don't think it's because ol' Goldie Locks strayed from his Ashley Olsen hairstyle and sported a bun tonight. I'm just sayin'.

After the Jump: Mamasox? Is that you sassing?!?

Crystal Bowersox: "Summer Wind" -- Although Mamasox was certainly out of her genre tonight, her voice was still beautiful, much like her long lacy black gown and refreshing updo ... although I would have liked to have seen that dead mouse which seems to have been dangling from her left ear for the past few weeks now be removed. (p.s. Crystal, I'm a fan, but you really need to stop interrupting the judges and interjecting how everything you do is right or the fact that you don't need to "sing big." Starting to verge on obnoxiousness. Never is wise to school the judges, mmm k?)

Big Mike apparently "throws down the gauntlet" with "The Way You Look Tonight." But I'm sorry, guys. Although this guy continues to sing on key, I just don't get jazzed over him. I still don't think I would be amped to buy his album and jam out to it in my car. I think it's his phrasing of his "e's." Sue me.

Closing the Show: Lee Dewyze, or rather, the spawn of our mentor himself. (Noted by Harry, who called him a new and improved version of himself.) Lee's "That's Life" was the best performance of the night, although I'm not jumping rainbows or anything. I liked his little playfulness, giving us a cute little smirk mid-way through, but he still needs to be more confident and believable as our winner. (Maybe after he follows Kara's orders and writes "I can win" 100 times on the Idol blackboard.)

Well once again, folks, I'm left feeling underwhelmed. Agree? Or do you think I'm being too hard on these little chaps. How 'bout our silly mentor? Who knew he was such a comedian!? Finally, just what in the hell was Sir(!) Anthony Hopkins doing in the audience?! Oh yeah, who do you think will be booted, flying them to the moon tomorrow?

Casey James Sings "Don't" for American Idol's Country Week

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:15:00 +0000

casey 6 @ Yahoo! Video

Props to you C-Dog for acknowledging that you did not give us anything new in your past few performances. Here's Casey's "Don't" in case you missed it last night. And who's with me in starting a petition to make Shania our new judge?! A nice little Randy + Ellen swap!

The Hills, New Season Clip: Heidi Montag 3.0 - What 10 plus Plastic Surgeries Will Do To You.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:52:00 +0000

Okay, this is seriously uncomfortable to watch. Heidi has become a full-blown SHE-BOT!!! Yeah, her mom might be kind of a be-yotch, but Heids, really? Look at yourself. Do you really think this looks good? It's like all the life and fun has been sucked out of her and in its place ... well you fill in the rest.

There is no denying The Hills lines are scripted and that these friendships are a "bit" forged, if you will. But we can't deny that these once innocent, fresh-faced girls have gotten swept up in this sad superficial LA world. Heidi's face may be fake, but it is very real proof of this. Sad indeed.

American Idol Inspirational Song Night: Crystal Bowersox Cries. I Finally Feel Something. (Recap)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 01:57:00 +0000

Considering I kept busy on my computer all the while Idol played out tonight on my TV screen, only giving the occasional glance up to notice that Lee Dewyze got his hairs cut, Kara got her hairs styled in a flattering manner that I can't quite put my finger on as to why they were so flattering and Simon's buzz cut looked especially unflattering ... I guess you could say it was all one big unnoticeable snooze fest until Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox took the stage. So really, all I care about commenting on is her for now.

Wicked Mic Stands and Wet Eyes: Now I don't know if Crystal got overly wrapped up in the spirit of today's date, but someone should have told her pot paraphernalia is not allowed on the Idol stage. Oh, I keed. I keed. Crystal's extraordinary mic stand was made from an old lamp with which she always used to perform in her pre-Idol days. Could that sentimentality be what brought on her sudden outburst of tears at the end of her emotional "People Get Ready" performance tonight? Or were those waterworks perhaps an afterthought to her feelings of being so overwhelmed with the show, that she actually considered leaving it earlier in the week? (Noooo! Thank God for Seacrest who talked her off the ledge by telling her the best thing he ever did was buy his mom a house. And then followed it with, "You could buy your mom a house." Aw!)

Regardless of where her tears were rooted, Crystal did "school" the fledgling American Idol Class of Season 9, wherein a guy named Turban is a transient heartthrob, a girl named Siobhan is the awkward social outcast, and well -- all the rest will just become once-recognizable names and faces in your faded high school yearbook in which you look back and go, oh yeah, Casey James. Remember that time he sang "Jealous Guy" at the end of that one talent show? That was really cool. Whatever happened to him?

So what did you think of tonight? My DVR unfortunately cut off too early (again!) But I hear there was a sweet moment between Mamasox and Seacrest. How did you like Siobhan's "I just traveled through a rain forest" look? What about Ms. Alicia Keys as mentor? And finally, who do you think will be voted off tomorrow night???

crystal 7 @ Yahoo! Video

Look-A-Like Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 20:16:00 +0000

Left: Kathy Lee Gifford

Right: Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York

American Idol Results: Adam Lambert PERFORMS!!! Oh yeah, and There Was a Double Elimination.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:20:00 +0000

Okay, guys, here we go with the Idol results. Am I the only one who is sick of these results show intro package fake-outs? You know, wherein they try and make us believe like there were Holyfield vocal TKOs last night? (Cut to a judge exclamatory: "Yo, those vocals were hot!!" Then cut to Andrew Garcia holding a mic that looks as if it just turned gold right before our very eyes.) Um, am I living in some crazy Harry Potter land? Because I'm pretty sure this does not accurately reflect what went down on performance night at all. But then again, I guess if they show what really went down, it would not pump me, the viewer, up. Unlike those high voltage group sings ... those aren't watered down or lip sunk at all. Oh what's that?! Ms. Sleepy Weird-Eyed Gal Herself, Brooke White, and some dude I've never heard of are set to sing tonight?!!! Well somebody better hold me back!

Okay okay. Who peed in my Fruity Pepples, right? I am excited to see Adam Lambert sing "Whataya Want From Me." (Love that jam!) And hopefully, I will see Turban and Aaron go home?!? Nah, I'm sure it will be Andrew and Aaron. Time shall tell ......

And time told it did. Who cares about who went home?!! How about that Adam Lambert performance, folks?! Now THAT's a performance!!!! And how cute was Adam to Seacrest like a little kid at show-and-tell: "I brought lasers!" Yes you did, Adam. And they rocked my world! A bejewled ear piece, a full blown laser show, some crazy watery-type cone bubble Adam stood in for the first quarter of his performance ... once again, Adam proves why he is a true original and why those silly kids should have heeded his advice last night!!

Oh yeah, Andrew and Katie went home. Whoop de freakin' do. I'm gonna rewind me some of that laser show!

adam 9ar @ Yahoo! Video

American Idol Elvis Night: I'm Caught in a Season 9 Trap ... I Wanna Walk Out. (Recap)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:39:00 +0000

(Yes, Elvis definitely left the building last night. Particularly when Aaron donned his blue suede shoes.)

Hey, can anyone tell me - what the heck was Seacrest on last night?! Did he find Paula's stash? I mean, from inappropriate tongue references to Mr. Adam Lambert (in front of his mother, mind you) to random slow dancing with former season 8 contestants (yes, that was Michael Sarver) to untimely jokes about his former co-host (um, didn't Brian Dunkleman leave like after season 1(!)?) ... the giddy little host definitely made me feel slightly uncomfortable on at least four occasions last night. But then again, so did many of our season 9 contestants. Because with the exception of Bowersox and Lee Dewyze, I think the Idols (and Seacrest and judges) may have caused Elvis to roll over in his grave more than once last night.

Seriously, will our next American Idol be TURBAN?!?! Guess "Teflon Tim" didn't quite stick. Really, Ryan? TURBAN?! Two major annoyances with Tim's performance last night of "Can't Help Falling in Love": 1) Tim blatantly ignores Adam's advice and does not end the sweet song in a falsetto. Wrong! But this wrong was not as blasphemous as that of the judges, who seemingly want to propel this wide-eyed, yet utterly clueless Zac Efron wannabe into the Idol throne. Ellen wants to give him another hug. (Oy veh.) Kara says it's her favorite (Tim) performance. (Oh this again. Really?!) But wait. The best is yet to come. Yes, Cowell incredulously states - Tim has gone from zero to ha-ha-ha (wait for it ... I'll get it out, I promise) ... Hero!! W.T.F., brother Cowell. W.T.F.

You know, I'm glancing over the rest of my notes, and last night was so bleh that I think I'm just going to wrap up the rest in a song. I sing to you, Idol, set to the tune of Elvis' "Suspicious Minds."

I'm caught in a trap.
I can't walk out.
Because I've loved Idol too much baby.

Why can't you see. (Tim.)
What you're doing to me
When you don't hear a word I say?

We can't go on together. (season 9)
With boring numbers. (Aaron.)
And we can't build our dreams. (Andrew.)
On cheesy ditties.

So if an old friend I know. (Adam.)
Drops by to mentor, behold.
You should heed his expert advice. (Turban.)

But here we go again.
Lee too afraid to grab that win.
You can't see the tears I'm crying.

Oh let my Idol love survive.
Please, Crystal dry the tears from my eyes.
Let's don't let a good thing die. (Casey.)

When Mamasox, you know
I've never spoken ill of you
Mmm yeah, yeah if you go I will too.

We can't go on together. (season 9)
With fake tough-girl impersonations. (Katie.)
And we can't build our dreams. (Siobhan.)
On inconsistencies.

Why can't you see. (Ken Warwick)
What you've done to me. (Elizabeth.)
When you don't see the tears I cry. (Give me back my Mother F-In Season 8!)

Lee or Bowersox for the win. Peace out.

Look-A-Like Monday!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 20:25:00 +0000

I swear, these two could be sisters! I knew as I sat and watched the Celebrity Apprentice that wrestler diva who I had never heard of before, Maria Kanellis (left), reminded me of someone. Even the way she talks is very similar to actress and our favorite Noxzema girl, Rebecca Gayheart. Don't you agree?

Michael Lynche is SAVED!!!! ... But Do We Care?

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:19:00 +0000

Hey everyone, great news! Big Mike got the sole judges' save on American Idol last night and will still be here next week to sing us another ballad!!! I'm brimming with excitement .... (and sarcasm for you savvy ones). Yes, I gotta say, I could give two S**ts less that Proud Poppa Mike still remains in this "I'm still trying to decide whether I like it or not" season 9 competition. Actually, scratch that. I DO care, because by using this save, the judges have mistakenly wasted this worthy little gem that was once in their back pocket to override the ridiculosities (yes, I'm still trying to make this a word) of tweens who text faster than I can say Ha-iiii.

Hey Kara and Co.: Please note Siobhan Magnus, Lee Dewyze, Crystal Bowersox and Casey James are still here and if Tim Urban NOT being in last night's bottom three is any indication that it is very possible that one of the aforementioned Winner-Worthy contestants could experience a premature evacuation, I don't know what is.

So maybe you all should have thought twice before being swayed by Big Mike's wifey-poo in that there audience crying her glittery eyes out like Big Mike's save is the only hope for her, her baby's, and oh hell, (it seems) America's future. Save it. I was totally moved when Matt G. was saved last year (and we all know how much I hated seeing his fedora return week after week). I was not, however, jumping for joy to see the same thing happen to lip smacker, "check me out on I-tunes" chees-a-licious Big Mike. (And I don't know, but it seems as if his fellow contestants weren't all that jazzed either. Unlike this moment.)

Aaaannd, I digress. I will soldier on. It shouldn't be hard to do. I know this guy's not gonna win. And hey, I've got Adam Lambert Unplugged to look forward to tonight! And oh yeah, he's the mentor next week!!! Hells Yeah!!!

American Idol Top 9 Perform: Casey James, BagPipes and Didgeridoos Make For One Good Night! (Recap)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:41:00 +0000

Well hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, folks, do we finally have a competition on our hands? Maybe I am just a little excited about my tax refund or am perhaps silly over this ga-or-geous weather we are having, but dare I say, that in last night's Idol, I saw shades of Idol season 8!?! Yes, from the humorous moments (one word: bagpipe) to some mad awesome vocals (two words: Casey James), I finally recognized a competitive momentum taking place, which left no alternative but to bring me to a rolling boil of excitement!

I will break it down with the highlights of the night:

These Intro Packages Are Workin' For Me!: Question for you, Mr. Idol Producer: Why couldn't we have used these endearing little intro packages wherein Idols comment on other Idols, showing us the viewer some real personality, earlier? I mean, how much did I love learning that Lee Dewyze and Andrew Garcia have been in a bro-mance since Hollywood Week?! It brought me back to the big bro/lil sis days of Adam and Allison! And Crystal's little quip, "So glad they can be together ... and make little Danny Gokey babies" was simply hilarious! Oh yeah, and how about Andrew on Tim?: "When he does the little flick of the hair and he smiles at the same time, there's something about that moment, when you're like -I love you, Tim." Classic. And the only thing I'll say about Aaron Kelly in this post is that the best thing about him last night, was finding out that he is everyone's little Yoda. (Boring tonight was I? Um, yeah, Aaron. You were. Sorry, pal.)

Best Performance of the Night!: Hands down. Casey James' "Jealous Guy" was one of THE best performances of the season so far. I must admit, when I found out the theme was going to be songs from the John Lennon/Paul McCartney book, I immediately had the whole "been there, done that" attitude. But Casey choosing one of my faves (I think because I have always liked Elliot Smith's version of this song) was very smart indeed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe this song has been done on the Idol stage before? Furthermore, it allowed Casey to finally show a real vulnerability, proving to be so heartfelt that when he opened up on the lyric "I was shivering inside," he was not the only one with shivers. Even Peg Bundy was teary eyed in that audience. (Oh, that was his mom? Oops. But speaking of celebrity similarities, is it just me, or does Casey have some hints of Eddie Vedder in him ... look for it. P.S., in case you missed this wicked awesome performance, check out the Featured Video tab above!)

Next: Didgeridoo? Why yes, thank you.

Off-the-Wall Props Turn it Around: Who knew there were people who played the didgeridoo as freelance work? And who knew Idol contestants could include a bagpipe player request on their dossier? Now I may be pelted with rocks for saying this, but when Crystal looked off to the side and down a few times during her "Come Together" performance, seeming to lose her words in the process, I found myself a bit distracted. For anyone else, her "fun groove" would have been one of their best - but for her, and despite the judges' praise - I didn't think it was. Although when she belted it out at the end, I thought, the girl is solid - and you can't deny that. And THEN, the way she was so loving toward Ernie, the didgeridoo player, ("Come on over here, Ernie," resting her head on him, arm in arm, high-fiving him ... Oh, she is Mama Sox indeed.)

And speaking of a performance seeming to go south, only to lift me up again with a ridiculous prop, how about that Lee Dewyze? As Lee started out a bit sloppy in his "Hey Jude" number with, as Randy would say, a little pitch problems, I thought to myself, maybe ol' worry wart Lee should tense back up like he usually does. But when he commanded "Come on sing it with me!," I got so into it, I looked away for a second while jamming, only to look back at the TV and see a bulky bagpipe dude suddenly descending my Adam steps (yes, he still owns them), creeping up on my Lee! Watch out Lee!! Now, this idea might have been better on paper, but when Lee proudly claimed, "Yes, this was my idea. Hundred percent," with a goofy, relaxed grin, well hell - I was laughing so hard, I couldn't deny my enjoyment of it all, even bringing me to text "Vote" to 5709. I think this is actually just what the doctor ordered for Lee - a little bit of ridiculosity (and if that's not a word, well dammit it should be).

Now as this post is getting a little longer than I would like, I will break down my final thoughts on the rest in a few sentences or more:

Katie Stevens: Was even enjoyable, losing her robotic ways, closing her eyes, even fluttering them a bit if you will, as she really got into her "Let It Be" performance!

Andrew Garcia: Why do I keep rooting for this guy? His "Can't Buy Me Love" may not buy him votes as I found it to be pretty cheesy ... but keep up that bro-mance with Lee, Andrew! Lovin' it!

Siobhan Magnus: "I'm here for my baby sisters. And you can't take that away from me." Oh Siobhan, even though your "Across the Universe" was sleepy ... you won me over with that little line. But where were your Sioban-bies in the audience last night?

Mike Lynch: Like a good warm-up act for me. Has been nice to watch. Even entertaining. But does anyone actually expect (or want) him to win this whole thing? I do like his ha-iiiii thing he does though. (Randy says he has a license to do whatever he wants? Ha-iiii??)

Tim Urban: I used his "All my Lovin'" performance to get up and eat some potato chips. When I heard it continuing on and on from my kitchen, I dabbled in a little bit of bunny cake. Ouch, you say? Well how about Randy judging him on whether or not it was a "good Tim performance?" (Way to set a low bar!) And I'm sorry, but was I living in an alternate universe there for a moment? Simon went on for about five minutes of Tim praise! Guess Tim's good answer last results show really rubbed off on ol' Grumpy Gus Cowell. Be careful judges ... you might propel Urbie-boy into the Idol throne if you keep that nonsense up.

And finally, the burning questions: Who do you think will be our bottom three tonight? (My bet is Aaron, Tim and Andrew. Although I'm getting a gut feeling about Big Mike ...); what was up with Ryan saying to Katie: You have grown ... physically. (WTF?) Was he suggesting a weight gain, perhaps? What was the better sign in the audience: "Simon, button up (your shirt too)" or "We straight up love Andrew Garcia"?; which was the more random Earl?: the didgeridoo Earl or the Earl from the audience who crashed Siobhan's moment? Finally, are you feeling the excitement possibly looming in the air like me? Do weigh in below.

Look-A-Like of the Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:42:00 +0000

Something about these two ... maybe it's more the personality, but I have always thought American Idol Season 9 darling, Katie Stevens (left) reminds me a bit of pop star, Jo Jo ... no?

DVR ALERT!: Adam Lambert Goes UnPlugged!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:29:00 +0000

Hey Glamberts ... instead of re-watching old YouTube clips of American Idol's glory days (a.k.a,. season 8), you can get a fresh Adam Lambert fix this Thursday! Tune in to VH1 April 8, at 11:00 p.m. for a very special UnPlugged!!! It promises to be good!! I'll be tuned in, will you?

My Reality Bit is Going Twitter!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 17:57:00 +0000

For those of you who Twitter, My Reality Bit has decided to join you! Simply click on the Twitter icon to your right to receive tweets when a new post is added! My Reality Bit will also follow American Idol contestants (past and present) along with that darn Seacrest and any other reality peeps deemed worthy ... so it's one big Twitter package rolled into one. Tweet Tweet! (Or as Megan Joy would say, "Caw Caw." Doesn't sound as nice, does it?)

Look-A-Like of the Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:27:00 +0000

Well it wasn't hard to find these two in matching outfits!

Left: Kenny from Real World / Road Rules challenges (um, Fresh Meat, The Island, The Duel, The Inferno III, The Gauntlet 3, the list goes on, and on)
Right: Ballroom Hottie, Maksim Chmerkovskiy

I give both these boys a "10"!

American Idol Top 10 Results: Did Didi Stay or Did She Go? My DVR Only Has Reuben, Usher and ... Puffy?

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 19:41:00 +0000

Well hell. I'm reliving Adam's "Mad World" all over again. (Click here if you need reminding.) We had three dudes come out of the woodwork tonight, "sing," and I didn't even get to see Didi Benami, current Idol contestant, finish her "fight for her life" segment, nor did I get to see whether or not she was "saved!" And, yes, I care because I think she had a legitimate chance at being rescued from the Megan Joy land of obscurity. I doubt that she pulled a Matt G. (again, click the link if you want to relive a classic Matt G. ditty), but she definitely had a better chance than Billy Goat. Considering how the judges were smiling and gabbing throughout, however, I'm guessing she was sent packing (with I'm sure what was an abundance of tears). But still! I would have at least liked to have seen it play out!

Instead, I got to witness Dude One, Dude Two, and Dude Three creep out from who knows where and relive their glory years. And since the Three Dudes were the feature tonight (again, nevermind those pesky contestants), I give you my thoughts on the trio in real time:

Next: Reuben Studdard ... WTF?

Dude One: Rubey Tuesday?! Where have you been holed up? Guess they only release you for the occasional Idol results show, huh? Bummer. Your music was elevator snooz-a-licious, but you're lookin' good - like you shed a few.

Dude Two: Oh, it's our fabulous mentor from last night! Oh, this should be good. Oh, wait. Is our fabulous mentor using a va-va-va vocoder? Ew! Gotta say, not loving Usher's performance. The winded voice, the generic song - not like his days of yore. Come on Ush, you don't need that vocoder. I really think it is the culprit for your wounded sounding vocals. But, as always, your dance moves make up for it ... somewhat.

Dude Three: Puffy?! Is that you? Does everyone have an album coming out or something? And furthermore, is everyone using a vocoder? Yeah, your performance was perhaps a little too raunchy for the Idol stage, but I'll give it to ya. It was entertaining. (I secretly wish that I had turned my lights down for the disco ball part. ... Did you?)

But wait a minute. I forgot. I still don't know if Didi went home tonight! This is the RESULTS show, right?

Come on producers. Maybe we can shave one crusted performer from the line-up in order to let America know if they can look forward to cry baby Benami a little bit longer. Do it, or I'll sick a pale-pink-ponied Big Mike on your ass. And as Seacrest can tell you, it won't be pretty.

By the way, in addition to the aforementioned Three Dudes' albums, tonight's episode was brought to you by "Clash of the Titans." Oh, and also Ford, Coke and let us not forget, Justin Bieber(!). But I digress.

American Idol: R & B Night ... What a Difference an Usher Makes!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 13:38:00 +0000

Well three cheers for Usher, is alls I got to say about last night's American Idol, R & B Night. If only all of them would have heeded the advice of the sunglassed one, it may have been a perfect night. But alas, Tim Urban remains unchanged, and so I'll settle for a vastly improved night instead.

Usher on Lee: Believe in Yourself. Although he may think he still belongs in the paint shop, Lee Dewyze really has a shot at winning this whole shin dig. Oh, simply the song title alone "Treat Her Like a Lady" mixed in with that gritty voice = one hot and bothered Elizabeth. You can treat me like a lady, Lee. Any ol' time. (Okay, sorry if just made anyone feel uncomfortable there.) Usher and I just ask one thing of you: Believe in yourself! Simon told you this may be the night your life changes forever, yet I still think you will come out next week with the ever present look of fear in those glistening baby blues. Not to mention, your desire to eat your guitar pick right after your performance was over may indicate that you still inexplicably have a low level of confidence. But well done, Lee ... sustain this feeling and enjoy it.

Usher On Tim: Picture me as Your Lady. Oh, Usher. Let's not confuse the young chap too much. Using one's imagination is a scary thought indeed. Of course, Urban could not do this, so the man (who has been compared to the King of Pop, mind you) stepped away and hid behind the piano so as not to make the young Urban too uneasy. Young Urban then took the stage, botched some "Sweet Love," put me to sleep in the process, all the while scaring the hell out of me with those maniacal eyes of his. When Usher told you to connect, Timmy-boy, it didn't mean to terrify your viewers like you are coming to get them. (Props to Ellen for her humorous critique ... "we see ya walkin' toward us, you don't have to sneak up on us!" Oh yeah, and her congratulations for challenging yourself with that song, but "oh boy, why?" was probably her highlight of the night.) Simon slyly dismissed the irrelevant Urban by not even offering a critique, which, of course, went unnoticed on "Teflon Tim." By the way, Tim, that ain't a compliment!

Next: Usher on Andrew: You Got This!

Probably the one who benefited the most from this fantastic mentor was the man who has been going through an identity crisis ever since he landed Top 24, Andrew Garcia. Usher got through to Andrew in the way I have been trying to (yes, I write these posts and hope they magically find their way to our young Idol lassies). "You want to make this acoustic, right? Come on, Andrew, now do it again and connect." And poof, just like that - Andrew connects. And was it just me, or did Andrew's "Forever" performance draw a lot of similarities to that of Adam Lambert a la "Tracks of My Tears?" The gray sear sucker suit. The choice to sit on a stool. The bongo player off to the side. The stripped down melody. (I don't think I have to say here of course who I liked better, and it almost pains me to draw that comparison, but cheers to you, Andrew. And Kara for telling Simon, let's just applaud him for making a huge leap in the right direction.)

Aaannd the rest. Usher Does it Better: Once again, Papa Lynch does everything "right," and yes, this was probably his best performance to date. But I really don't want to see him as our next American Idol. Just like the same can be said for Aaron Kelly, who got the pimp slot of the night(!). Too bad he didn't follow though with Usher's fabulous advice and really put some feelin' behind those "I Knows." I thought to myself, could we just usher Usher onto that stage and see how he would do all of this? I mean, each one of his "I Knows" got better than the previous one! And the way he looked into that camera, stared and penetrated the very depths of my soul, well that's how you do it, Michael Lynch! Hell, I kind of want to go out and buy an Usher concert ticket right about now!

So what did you think of R & B Night? Did you like Usher just as much as me? What the hell was up with the backstage clips? Were you feeling Crystal's stilettos? Even though she was obviously timid behind the piano, I kind of wished she would have stayed there for the duration. How about ol' cry baby? I mean, Didi Benami. Man was that performance uncomfortable. Almost as awkward as Seacrest trying to pull her sob story out of her. Yes, we know, Ryan! She had a friend pass away. But at the same time, I felt this moment also shed a bit of light on Didi ... I'm sensing she has a bit of a wall up, no? Oh yeah, how bad do you want Casey James to drop the axe, already!? And Katie being compared to Xtina?! WTF? Lastly, what happened to our beloved Siobhan? I highly doubt she will go home tonight from one bad performance. I really actually think tonight may be the night, guys! H'asta la vista Teflon Tim! H'asta.

American Idol Top 12: Results Show Recap - Superlative Style

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 22:08:00 +0000

Okay guys. The Idol Top 12 Results show tonight sent Lacey Brown packing, and I'll have you know, I am writing these words as she still sits in the silver chair next to Paige-Still don't know her last name. I either want to say Miles or Davis. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure it's going to be Brown, so I'll just go ahead and start writing now. Bah-Bah Billy Goat.
I've decided to sum up our results in the form of Idol Superlatives because I saw so many of them come about tonight. So without further ado:

Most Funny: Randy Jackson! With a comedic imitation of Justin Timberlake. Hey, the dawg can be kinda funny sometimes.
Most Creative Braids: Katie Stevens. Was it a simple side braid? Was it a french braid in the back? Discuss.
Biggest Hint of Unwarranted Smugness: Tim f-in Urban acting like it was ca-razy Seacrest suggested he had an off night!
Most I Wanna Wipe That Damn Smile Off Your F-In Face: Didi Benami. Seriously? It's okay to talk normal, honey. You are not a ventriloquist.
Best Surprise Accent: Orianti (?) I have never heard this girl's name before, so please forgive me if I have misspelled.
Most Likely to be a Politician: Michael "here for the people" Lynch. (Well, at least he's got a back-up gig for when his cheesy appeal wears off.)
Craziest Hair Accessory: Lacey Brown. Whoah! I think that thing had it's own area code.
Most Ridiculous Question: Seacrest to Ellen: "Is this bottom three worth the judge's save?"
[Reminder: This spot-on bottom three included Paige "it seems like I could give two s**ts if I'm here or not" Miles(?), Lacey "Depressing Billy Goat" Brown and that Urban kid. (I'm tired of wasting words on him.)]
Biggest Crock of S**t Answer: Ellen to Seacrest: "Yeesss?"
Even Bigger Crock of S**t Answer: Simon to Seacrest: "One of them is." [Seriously, Simon? It's bugging. Why do you keep insisting on keeping this Paige chick around, hinting that she's the next best thing? Two words for ya: Lil Rounds.]
Biggest Disappointment: Peter Brady being sent back to safety.
Performance that Caused My Eyebrows to Furrow In a Permanent State of Confusion: Keisha (is it?) Of which the topper was undoubtedly the Indian headdress. Yes, in fact, my eyebrows are still furrowed as I type these very words.

So where do you weigh in? Happy to see the billy goat go? Would you have liked to have just wiped all three out right there and then like me? How about poor Crystal Bowersox, who now has to constantly be ever so careful with her modesty? Do you have any superlatives that I didn't cover? Til next week my little leprechauns.

Fantasia Sings Superstition -- And I'm Likin' It!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 20:57:00 +0000

I may not have watched her season, but damn, I kinda wish I had. After looking at this clip of Fantasia's take on the Stevie Wonder classic, "Superstition," I realize what Siobhan Magnus' performance was missing last week - the grit. Let this serve as some inspiration to you season 9 kids. Take a risk. Give it your all. Have fun with it. If you crash and burn or if you make the audience rise to their feet, at least you weren't boring! You go Fantastic Burrito (copyright, my dad). You go.

(Give it a little bit, and watch how the audience gets into this! To the end where they can't wait to get on their feet.)

Tim Urban: Get Out of My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 01:52:00 +0000

Hey, can anyone tell me who went home on American Idol tonight? I know that's my job and all here, but you see, I'm not able to because I chucked my TV out the window and into my parking lot after Tim Urban's response to Seascrest's question.

Seacrest: Tim, if you could do it all over again after the judges' critiques, would you do it differently?

Tim Urban: You know, I obviously thought about that last night a lot (um, I doubt it), and I had so much fun (yeah, we got that) that no. I would not do it differently. (Aaannnd, goodbye to my flat screen.)

Okay, kids. Listen up. Elizabeth's number one pet peeve is the phrase: "I had fun." Like that is supposed to magically wipe away all of your suckiness. And I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but you are performing for an audience of 30 million people. Yeah, you got that? 30 million. You are not alone in your shower, living room, or wherever else it is legal for such suckiness to take place without so much as a "bleeding ear" citation. You are performing for me, the viewer. And guess what, I ain't havin' fun.

Oh yeah, and while I'm at it, repeat after me -- the judges are here to help me. Not hurt me. To listen to them would be wise. I shall no longer feel the need to assert my inexperience as knowledge superior to that of people who have been in the biz longer than I have been alive.

Okay. I'm done now. So again, please tell me it was Urban who went home. Yeah, Paige's "Against All Odds" had about as many notes off key as Big Mike's baby/baby momma's cameos (a lot), but at least she admitted that it "could have been better." (That is an understatement.) So please, America. He has already ruined my TV. Do not allow him to taint the American Idol "Top 10." (P.S. Remind me to not buy a ticket to that Idol summer tour!)

Crystal Bowersox: Jams out to some Janis!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:13:00 +0000

As last night's episode of American Idol proved to be exceptionally awful, let's relive the only moment I deem to be noteworthy, shall we? Crystal Bowersox and her magnificent take on Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee." This one's for you, Con!

American Idol Top 12 (recap): Siobhan Magnus Gets it Rolling on Stones Night!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 03:02:00 +0000

Here's something I thought I would never hear be uttered from Seacrest's lips: "Tim Urban fans. You're about to get your fix." FIX of WHAT?! And, I'm sorry, ... there are Tim Urban fans?! Um, okay. By the way, if you are in that 5 percentile, don't worry about voting for him. Because HE had fun, and that was all he was really worried about. (And that will be all the time I waste tonight on the crazy eyed Eric Stoltz look-a-like.)

As you can tell, I'm feeling nice and friendly tonight. So let me just go ahead and say, how about that Siobhan Magnus performance?! Dare I ask, is my Idol season 9 finally underway?! Because even though I had to wait over an hour tonight for the show to actually get moving (we'll ignore weeks here), while Siobhan was painting it black, she also managed to color Elizabeth happy!

Loved the combat boots. Loved the dress. Loved the combat boots with the dress. Loved that she is who she is. Loved that she made me for the first time, actually listen and really understand the words of the Rolling Stones classic. And yeah, that screamy note toward the end, I winced a bit. But that very last note was beautiful. "Best interpretation," Kara said. "Flashbacks of Adam Lambert!" And may I add, I loved the glassblower even more with those goofy glasses on, all the while, flashing an elegant smile. Way to go Siobhan. Way to go. By the way, did I mention how much I dug that outfit!?!

And speaking of the dynamo ladies tonight ... Crystal Bowersox does give me what I want! The tiny soft, unexpected inflections. The cute little part where she spoke about Mr. Jimmy ... the way she simply RAWKED it! So why the hell did the judges kinda ridicule her? Simon: "You can't think you have this in the bag." Rock solid Bowersox: "That hasn't once crossed my mind. But thank YOU for saying that." Well played, Crystal. Well played. (And did anyone else right away know that the peacock feather was there in memoriam of Lilly? ... I did.)

The other second half grouping who kept tonight's show afloat included Lee Dewyze, whose version of "Beast of Burden" I would like to download right now. I don't have a great deal more to say about it except I think the judges could have been a little nicer on him: "People won't remember it." Um, excuse me. I will! So suck it, Ellen. (Even if you are having your best night as far as sound bytes go.) Hey guys, I gotta support my Lee.

Hell, I even kinda enjoyed Paige-still don't know her last name's Honky Tonk Woman. And Aaron Kelly? Okay, guys. I'm not going to quite go there. The boy does good karaoke. That's all I gots to say about that little noodle. And oh yeah, he may have got himself a new greased up do, but he's still got the same ol' air humpin dance moves.

The rest? I think they can be summed up in a few sentences or less:
Michael Lynch: He is trying. But he doesn't have the talent for super stardom.

Didi Benami: Kinda scared me a bit. You know, the facials and all. A mixed bag of sorts - had some really good moments but had a lot of flat verses, sprinkled with some, "oops I forgot my lyrics" Brooke White moments.

Casey James: Got back to the soul, but I'm with Simon. It wasn't incredible. Randy: So he should use the stage more? Simon: Just be. a. star. (Amen Brother Cowell. Amen.) Oh yeah, I was only able to have these thoughts after I got over his mom being a dead-ringer for Peg Bundy.
I think this was the time I drifted off to re-watch my Adam Lambert's "Satisfaction" clip. Oh, look at that action. The crowd jamming. Paula dancing.

Oh, what's that? The maroon headed billy goat's up? Oh, I like "Ruby Tuesday!" Oh, she's sitting on the corner of the stage again? Churning her mic back and forth from her mouth? Stilli'mgonnamissyou? Guess that was her way of making it her own?

Sorry, got a little off track there.

Katie Stevens, a.k.a, the girl who answers the question, "Who is the lead singer of the Rolling Stones" with a question mark. Anyhoo, she chose a song I suggested a few weeks back, "Wild Horses." And she finally got some praise for, well, picking the right song. However, I did not choose this song for Stevens. I picked it for the girl she unjustifiably beat out last week, Ms. Lilly Scott. How freaking poetic. Now let's consider how much more Lilly could have done with it .... I'll wait.

Andrew Garcia: Andrew. Listen to me. I think the judges have given you an identity crisis. Stick to your guns. Get back to you. Don't question it. Rock it.
And now, the burning questions: So how did you feel about tonight? Were you only feeling the second half like me? What was your favorite Ellen funny tonight? I think mine was to Lacey: "You like to sit on the edge of things. Don't go to the Grand Canyon." Or maybe the "but not me" one to Casey. Simon had a good one tonight regarding Andrew to Kara: "Do you want him to come out with a tank?" Does Michael Lynch raid his wife's scarf closet? Do you think when Lacey was told she was over thinking it, that now she's thinking too much about over thinking it? Finally, who do you think will say bye bye tomorrow?