I never pay attention to commercials, but I remember from my childhood as clear as if I saw it today: “You’re in good hands with Allstate.”

Allstate Insurance Company has a brilliant, memorable slogan.  I’m sure “You’re in good hands with Allstate” attracted many customers.  Whether or not they keep them is up to the agents and customer service, but the marketing department got it right.

Wouldn’t you like to believe and trust God with that same confidence?  “You’re in good hands with God.”

As if God said: “At any moment you choose, I’m listening. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t like trouble — I just love helping you deal with it. You’re in good hands, Mine.”

“Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding.
Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success.” [Proverbs 3:5-6. NCV]

It’s not a promise but it’s been the experience of millions!

New TreeHouse alumni you’re in good hands when you settle yourself into God’s hands.

Ask questions, it will help you in the long run.
Be yourself, you will be more popular that way.
Check for toilet paper when you enter the stall.
Don’t procrastinate; there won’t be time later.
Get good sleep, each night, it makes school easier.
If you fall asleep in class, expect your teacher to embarrass you.
If you really have to fight someone there is no reason to do so on school grounds.
It doesn’t matter if you were trendy clothes even if people think it does.
Most of the time you can trust most of the teachers.
Remember you always have more growing up to do.
Someone will always think they’re better than you.
The more patient you are the better you’ll survive.
Girls: Keep a tampon or feminine pad in your locker.

Listening requires self-control.  Choosing to listen and not to speak requires self-discipline for most people.  Sadly many people spend all their time waiting for the other person to stop so they can talk again.

Listening requires practice.  The discipline of listening becomes easier as we learn to value listening.

I value listening more because I believe it demonstrates God’s character.

How you ask?  Consider how much more God listens to you than speak to you.   God doesn’t speak often, but God spoke through the prophet:

“So once again, I, the LORD All-Powerful, tell you, ‘See that justice is done and be kind and merciful to one another! Don’t mistreat widows or orphans or foreigners or anyone who is poor, and stop making plans to hurt each other.’” [Zechariah 7:8-10, CEV]

So many people spend a lot of time and energy “making plans to hurt each other.”  Gossip, backstabbing, drama, and Facebook rants all add to the toxicity of relationships.  God calls us to a higher standard.

God challenges us to “be kind and merciful to one another.”

Listening to one another is just, kind and merciful.  When we listen — really listen — we will have a greater opportunity to hear much we have in common with one another.

You and I and everyone around us want to feel — what we talk about each week at TreeHouse – lovable, capable and worthwhile.

We express directly and indirectly how worthwhile one another are when we listen.

Choosing to listen is a gift – a reward — for the person who is being heard as well as for the listener:

- You might learn something.
- You might find yourself relaxing when you feel less pressure to speak.
- You might appear wiser than you are when you are repeating back their own insights.
- You might become more compassionate than you are.
- You might find yourself caring more than you had because you gain insight.
- You might find yourself less prideful when you realize you’re not a “better” person.
- You might understand yourself and your own motives as you listen to others.
- You might find your relationships improving as you learn to listen more patiently.

The world would be a much better place if we took more time to listen and appreciate the thoughts and feelings of others.

When we choose to listen, listen, listen we will have far less time and inclination to make “plans to hurt each other.”

I challenge you to join me to listen, listen, and listen to one another.

How could my hero be so anonymous?

Sometimes heroes are like that. Living their lives without the publicity.

Heroes Are Usually Uncommonly Common People

Growing up I wanted to be a hero, to be special, to feel special, to do something special. I read comic books and admired public figures.

It’s funny, and sad, that it took me years until I realized that when I was seven years old, while sitting in a rickety wooden chair in a children’s program called Whirlybirds, that I sat in the presence of a genuine American treasure!

A Heroic Role Model

There are many ways to be heroic, most of them are daily choices to do the right thing at the right time, for the right reasons.

June has served God and the Chicagoland community for several decades as a law-abiding citizen, neighbor, friend, wife, mother, grandmother, counselor, teacher, youth leader, historian, writer, Sunday School teacher, church leader, social justice advocate and a person who loves the down and out with unconditional compassion and love.

June Oulund exemplified the principles that define TreeHouse a generation before our doors opened.

June has also made her mark as a historian.  As the former president of the Schiller Park Historical Society, June left a record of the past so that we can learn from their successes and well as their shortcomings.

With all that she has done to make individuals, groups large and small — sacred and secular — to see the good in life and in her community, June also is honest about her own shortcomings. She wants to be honest because in her honesty about her own struggles she points people to Jesus Christ, her Savior, not to a myth that implies she’s perfect.

Her honesty and humility serves to further illuminate two ways that June is growing into a Christ-like woman.

Do you see the wonder on the faces of two of June’s grandchildren?

Spending time with June is like that. When she speaks and you want to listen.

On this her 29th birthday [again!] I commend to you June Oulund my hero and a treasure you want to know!

Note – June you might fortunate enough to find a copy of June’s books:

Plow shares to jet fields: The story of Schiller Park

Reflections: Schiller Park through the years

Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup!!!

I think this post stands on it’s own accompanied by this photo:

Wow, have I had to battle with myself about this question!

Principles:

1 – I choose not to casually listen to “worship” music as background music because I don’t want to trivialize worship.

2 – I honestly do not know if I can quote a single worship song or Dave Matthews Band song start to finish. I do not hear lyrics easily. It’s a blessing and a curse. I miss out on the bad and the good in songs.

3 – I choose to listen to music that I can listen to without sinning. Much like I watch TV or movies.

Practices:

- I can watch PG13 or R-rated movies which feature action-violence but not sex or nudity because I am not tempted to be violent but I am tempted to lust. In the same way, I cannot watch Girls Gone Wild or Victoria Secret commercials [or catalogs] for obvious reasons.

I do not watch movies with women in it I feel attracted to because I do not want to disrespect my wife. I do not watch movies in which criminals are the “heroes” because I have been a criminal and I do not want to feel tempted.

If something comes on that might tempt me I [usually] discipline myself and look away.

- I can listen to PG13-rated music which may may feature drugs, alcohol or sexual references but not the ones that tempt me. I admit it’s a “gray rule” but I once broke 300 records [pre-CDs] because I wanted a break from my past. Years later I added some of the music back into my life.

I can listen to Dave Matthews sing Lover Lay Down & Crash, both sexual songs, but I cannot listen to Say Goodbye because he sings about cheating. I don’t even want the thought to enter my mind. I do not want to disrespect my wife.

I can also listen to Crush & Bartender despite talking about drinking or using drugs because I am not tempted by those songs.

I have lots of Ben Harper music, but when he was straying from God he wrote Burn One Down and I cannot listen to that. I like reggae but I do not have Bob Marley drug songs.

Parenting:

I restricted my kids on the music they listened to when they were pre-teens. As they got older I challenged them to pay attention to the lyrics and see if they wanted those words in their head.

Eventually, I taught my kids to be honest with themselves: “Does this bother you? Are you tempted to sin? Are you tempted to think what you know is a sin isn’t so bad or harmful?”

Theological:

Black and white rules are convenient for some people. There is nothing wrong with that it keeps the opportunities for sin minimized.

God gave us a book of rules that, for our generation, gives us a lot of freedom and responsibility to ask God how we should apply them.

I would challenge you to respect one another. It’s always more respectful to say “no” to protect the other person even though you feel you have freedom to say yes.

Other Thoughts:

I do not want to be as sad, miserable, lustful, or ignorant as many musicians — many say nothing worthwhile.

Therefore, I love lyric-free electronica music but I cannot go to raves because I would be tempted to use new things I haven’t tried. I went to a STS9 concert last year for my birthday. I was around more pot in 2 hours than I have been around in the last twenty years combined.

I actually had to choose not to breathe deeply. I could not be a regular or I would begin to feel more temptation.

Conclusion:

I am learning not to justify sin because I pay a price, but I do not make up rules where there is no rule nor temptation.

One more thing:

I really liked this article written by Walt Mueller about DMB.

Ernie Harwell, Hall of Fame baseball broadcaster died Tuesday night, “quietly, at home, with his wife and children by his side, and when the news was announced in Minnesota, where the Tigers — Ernie’s team — were playing, fans there gave him a standing ovation. In Minnesota!” A tribute to a man who worked for the opposing team for several decades.

What would prompt such an outpouring of love?

Ernie inspired:

Harwell was born “with a speech defect that left him tongue-tied” but through therapy and forcing himself to participate in debates and classroom discussions, he had overcome the handicap enough to become a Hall of Fame broadcaster.

Ernie philosophized:

Baseball is a lot like life. It’s a day-to-day existence, full of ups and downs. You make the most of your opportunities in baseball as you do in life.”

Ernie was a role model as a husband and as a human:

His wife of 68 years Lulu Harwell, explained why Ernie was so friendly: “It’s Ernie’s nature not to say bad things about people. His mother told me that when he was a little boy, Ernie wouldn’t stand for his brothers saying anything bad about anybody.”

Ernie was humble:

In 1961, when he realized his success in life did not feed the deepest longings of his soul he met and committed his life to Jesus Christ at an invitation offered by Billy Graham during an Easter service during spring training.

Ernie was hopeful:

After his terminal diagnosis Ernie said that “Whatever happens, I’m ready to face it…I have a great faith in God and Jesus.”

I’m ready to face what comes,” he said at the time. “Whether it’s a long time or a short time is all right with me because it’s up to my Lord and savior.”

Harwell referred to death as his next great adventure, a gift handed down by God.

His illness, reported the Detroit News, “only led him to further embrace his Christianity and to try to be of humble consolation and inspiration to as many people as he could during his long and extraordinary life.

The greatest thing that can be said about any person when they have gone to their eternal peace is that they made the lives of others better, fuller, more verdant.”

Ernie was respectful:

World Series hero Kirk Gibson said, Ernie Harwell “was an icon. The saying that you treat people the way you want to be treated, he represented that to its fullest.”

“Harwell was so much more than an announcer. He was a voice inside of us as well as outside of us. A voice you still can hear, even though the world has silenced it. He was a man to admire, a satisfied soul, a shining example of life lived purely and honestly. And because of that, Ernie will live on inside everyone who ever met him, shook his hand, gave him a hug, or simply heard his soothing words come through a tiny speaker in a car radio, or through an earphone hidden from the teacher on a school day afternoon.”

Rapid Packaging owner and TreeHouse board member Mike Sime wrote in an email today, that God “has brought us all together ‘For Such A Time As This’. Satan would like nothing more than to discourage us in these tough times…”

I hope that amid the tough times in life that I live well.

Ernie Harwell died well, I hope to follow his example and live well. I hope you will too.

—————————————————————————————————–

If you want to know more about Ernie Harwell I recommend listening to Ernie Harwell’s Audio Scrapbook. If it remains unavailable, you can ask to borrow our copy.

I must admit that the dollar signs and costs of the health care plan has caused me to glaze over.  I also glaze over when:

- A baseball player, even one as good as Ryan Howard, needs $125 million dollars to play a game he loves.

- I cannot grasp the benefit of searching for Noah’s Ark

- I cannot grasp the complexity of the debt problems in Greece

Other costs make sense to me:

- I can find a bargain on Craigslist.

- I can download the coupons offered by the Coupon Mom

- And, I cannot wait to use my Frankie’s To Go gift certificates.

Maybe you like the health care plan, or not. Maybe you grasp global economics or the value of frugality.

My question for me, and my question for each of you: Will we pay the price for kindness?

Kindness is costly, but it’s a cost I want to pay.

In my life kindness requires patience: Before answering questions pause and think for a moment, “what would I have done if I were in her or his situation?”

In my life kindness requires perspective: Before responding in a conversation, ask yourself, “how would I feel if I were in her or his situation?”

In my life kindness restrains power: Before you do something ask, “Is this kind? Would I want someone to do this to me?”

In my life kindness requires prayer: Most of us are self-centered.  Pray, “Please God help me to act kindly now.”

^“God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.”  [Colossians 3:12, CEV]  The cost of being unkind — and hypocrisy — is why so many choose not to trust in a God whose followers are unkind.

Kindness is costly, but it’s cost effective.

“When conflicts arise or we have been hurt, or when others really irritate or offend us, it can be really tough to love them…For any number of reasons, our intention or attempts to love others can fall short.”

We want to love.  We want to act lovingly.  It’s our plan.  We think loving thoughts.  We would tell other friends or family members that we love ___, but when the conflicts arise it does not look very loving.

“In spite of our best intentions, sometimes, we don’t know what to do differently. Or, if we do know, we may feel that it’s just too hard or exhausting to keep trying.”

If you’re like me, that says it all.  Sometimes love can be so hard.

Here are several strategies that you and I can choose to practice that might make a real difference:

1. Accept responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Don’t undo your efforts to love someone by letting yourself explode or say something nasty.  And, if you screw up, fess up!

2. Accept that you’re powerlessness to change people. Even if you could change a loved one, it’s not your job. Your role is to love them, to encourage them, and to offer input when appropriate. Ask God for the courage and strength to speak the truth in the midst of conflict, and for compassion to do so patiently and lovingly. (Ephesians 4:15)

Remember that you always have power to choose how you are going to act toward others, regardless of their actions toward you. You may not have power to feel love or even to control your reactions as well as you would like. But you can discipline yourself to act kindly to show love in your actions—by being patient, kind, courteous, humble, selfless, forgiving, and encouraging (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

3. Let go of your demands. If you would like to be able to love them unconditionally – at TreeHouse we call that “love without strings” — then let go of your expectations that they respond the way you want them to.

4.  If you cannot love the person without strings, be honest about it. Or if you would like more from the relationship, talk with them about your needs and desires.

5.  Look in the mirror. “Instead of just trying to change your behavior, seek wisdom into what is going on inside of you that keeps prompting you to act in unloving ways. What needs do you have that are going unmet? How could you get your needs for love, for affection, for friendship met in healthy ways?”

6.  Admit that love is work. “By letting God’s love meet your deepest needs, and by following the Holy Spirit’s leading in the ways of love, you will increasingly become part of the solution to a world riddled with unresolved conflict, alienation, and pain. It’s also the only way to truly experience the full life that Christ intends for you.”

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. [Romans 5:8]

Prayer: “Loving and gracious God, thank you for your unconditional love and mercy. Please help me to fully trust in your love for me, to accept your forgiveness, and to be renewed in the deepest part of my being. And lead me in the way of love, especially when it is really hard for me, so that all those around me may sense your love flowing through me.”

Tim Geoffrion regularly writes insightful posts on Spirit-Led Leader.  I recommend it highly. If you would like to read his article without my comments or edits again you can find it here.

What is Kindness?

Kindness is a choice.

Kindness is an attitude.

Kindness is not a weakness.

Kindness is counter-cultural.  Sadly, kindness is radical thinking in our culture.

Kindness recognizes that the other person as important.  Not more important than you, and not less important than you.

Kindness Involves Action

When we recognizes that another person is as important as we are it changes what we do and what we value.

I value other drivers who drive at least as well as I do, preferably better. I value being on time [insert your mocking laughter here]. I like eating when I’m hungry. Yesterday when all those things were threatened I had decisions to make.

Kindness is a Choice

Stuck behind a line of cars who did not move when the light changed I was almost frustrated. Then realizing, what should have been apparent, that the car ahead could not move my attitude changed.

After waiting for all the cars in front of me to drive around the stalled car I pulled up next to the car. Motioning for the passenger to roll down the window I asked, “would you like help pushing your car off to the side?”

Grateful, but sheepishly, he smiled: “Yes, thank you.”

I checked the street behind me. It was clear. I turned the van’s hazard lights on.

Before jumping out of the TreeHouse van I was driving I said, “anyone wanna help push a car?”

Two teens, the car’s passenger and I pushed the car a couple hundred feet up onto the street curb. Though slightly embarrassed they were grateful for our kindness to them.

We push the car out of the way of the traffic. Though slightly delayed we were being kind to the drivers who would be inconvenienced by the stalled car if we had left it in the left lane.

We hopped back into the van and though comfortably seated Hudson gave up his seat to our new friend “Jimmy” as we drove him to the gas station. Though inconvenienced Hudson chose to be kind to Jimmy and give up his seat.

Though I was hungry and Jimmy could have walked the three blocks back to their car we waited. Though inconvenienced Jimmy and his driver found their distressing situation resolved in ten minutes.

Our kindness, inconvenient as it might have been, took ten minutes, and it made many people’s lives easier who had no idea that there was even a stalled car blocking traffic moments before.

After we dropped off Jimmy, Hudson returned to his seat. We shared a smile. I asked him, “How many stalled cars have we pushed together?” He said, proudly, “four.”

Caveat

Ladies, I would not want my wife and daughter picking up “Jimmy”.  Our Jimmy was a nice guy.  Not all the “Jimmys” in the world are.  Ladies, be kind, call 911 and ask them to help “Jimmy”.  It will be kind to the stranded person, and kind to your loved ones that you chose the safe choice.

Kindness Requires Practice.

Choosing to be kind means that you choose to see the other person just as lovable, capable and worthwhile as you are.

Choosing to be kind means that you guard yourself against seeing the other person as a threat or an inconvenience.

Kindness requires practice.  Most of us have to chose to be kind rather than self-centered.

The challenge for you and for me is to choose to be kind when the opportunity presents itself.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another…” [Ephesians 4:32]