Myths of Life - Identifying and Removing the Myth of Limitation

The Myth of Rejection

Clare — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:27:31 +0000

Rejection is a Myth. Think about this. Someone might fear doing something because they believe they might get rejected. e.g. asking someone for a date, seeking a promotion or asking someone to buy their product or service. Before asking for whatever they want, they do not have it, so even if someone turns them down, they still don’t have it, In reality, nothing has changed.

However, what has the potential for change is the story they attach to the denial of their request. If they ending up saying ‘I am no good, my product is not wanted or I feel embarrassed’, they havecreated this. The Myth of Rejection is another example of our co-creation of our Being with our environment.Similar Posts:

The Myth Surrounding New Year

Clare — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 08:56:12 +0000

For many people, the 31st December marks the end of the one year and the ushering in of a new one. Excitement looms, largely due to the collective excitement of people around us. Yet when we look more closely at what the New Year really is, it is a social and cultural construct hoodwinking us into believing there is an objective entity called New Year.

The reality is that it does not exist objectively but through the individual and collective consensual creations of our perceptions. As with all co-created elements of which the human is part, we have the opportunity to choose how we create that reality through the lens of our own perception.

This year, take full responsibility for creating your life meaningfully and purposefully, fully mindful of ways in which you relinquish responsibility for your life by blindly adhering to social and cultural constructs. Your life will be richer better when you own 100% responsibility for all your experiences.Similar Posts:

Existential Perspectives on Depression and Despair

Clare — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 08:37:51 +0000

Depression and Despair are explored creatively in this article in the New York Times (28/10/09) by Gordon Marino – highlighting the existential perspectives by Kierkegaard. The following quote from the article says:

‘These days, confide to someone that you are in despair and he or she will likely suggest that you seek out professional help for your
depression. While despair used to be classified as one of the seven deadly sins, it has now been medicalized and folded into the concept of
clinical depression. If Kierkegaard were on Facebook or could post a You Tube video, he would certainly complain that we, who have
listened to Prozac, have become deaf to the ancient distinction between psychological and spiritual disorders, between depression and
despair’.

PDF of original article hereSimilar Posts:

Changing your life in 2010

Clare Mann — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 20:41:04 +0000

As 2010 approaches, you will no doubt be thinking about how you can made the coming year your Best Year Yet. However, without the proper tools, your intentions will turn to distant memories, leaving you with a sense of disappointment, frustration or cynicism.

Find out how prepared you are to make changes in your life by looking at the language you use every day. Think of s frustrating or difficult situation you were in recently. Reflect on how you describe the people or circumstances involved. When you describe your actions do you use the words ‘I‘ or ‘Me‘ or do you refer to a more generalised sense of what ‘one does‘ by using the words ‘You‘ as if ‘Everyone‘ surely would do this if in your place? Do you refer to another person or people involved as ‘They‘ as if part of a generalised group of people who tend to operate in a stereotypical way – rather than the particular individual’s being unique?

If you are using generalised words and statements to describe yours and other people’s reactions, this is an indication that the tools you are using to solve your problems will not work in creating positive outcomes in your life. Think about this carefully because it can change your life. By generalising things you are in fact relinquishing responsibility for your part in creating whatever happens to you.

Have you ever noticed that whatever challenges or problems you have, YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE? This is because you have a part in creating the situation – often by your choice of how to react to the external world. When you see this, you can change your outlook, your language and your results. That’s how change will come about in 2010.

Good luck.Similar Posts:

The Myth of Christmas

Clare — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:29:46 +0000

Christmas is a celebration which few, it seems, question what is being celebrated. Anyone who questions the existence of Christmas is often criticised as cynical, Scrooge-like or Humbug. If you ask someone what they are celebrating, they probably look at you incredulously saying ‘But it’s Christmas!’ and go on to mention the religious, family or holiday connotations or simply have no idea how to answer. Many people at this point say ‘Well, it’s for the children’ as if this justifies them not having an answer.

Unquestioned assumptions surround the existence of Christmas and like most myths are rarely questioned – they simply reduce our ability and responsibility in choosing how we spend our lives. This is not to say that Christmas can’t be an enjoyable and reflective time of year. It does mean that if it is blindly responded to with the associated ’should ought or must’ language attached, then we are hoodwinking ourselves into believing we are choosing to life on our terms. I encourage you to examine your own myths and choose meaningfully in everything you do.Similar Posts:

Existential Angst – Breakdown or Breakthrough?

Clare — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:59:29 +0000

Existential angst is the name given to the awareness (through lived experience) of one’s existential condition. One who experiences existential angst comes face to face with the existential limits of their existence. For example, through the experience of eg. uncertainty, meaninglessness or endings or death, the resultant anxiety reflects their aloneness in making sense of their existence. As each of us proceed through our lives, we are bombarded with challenges to the fixed ways in which we define ourselves and our worlds. The unpredictable nature of others’ behaviour or our own challenges us to embrace the co-constructed nature of our phenomenal selves. We can either choose to resist through unrelenting attempts to restore the status quo or we can choose to see ourselves as ‘works in progress’.

Resisting the existential nature of our existence can lead to breakdown whereas embracing the anxiety of our unfixed selves offers breakthrough to a life well lived.Similar Posts:

The Existential Angst of Everyday Change

Existential Supervision for Therapists – What does it entail?

Clare — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:42:19 +0000

Existential supervision is a process of assisting psychologists, psychotherapists and counselors to work more effectively with their clients. This is the aim of all forms of professional counseling supervision but existential supervision is different. Focus is specifically on ‘how the therapist is’ with their client, since the premise on which an existential way of working is based is on the co-construction of the relationship between practitioner and client. Thus ‘the client that comes to see a therapist is a different one that comes to see another therapist’. This is an important distinction. The client is different and their story will be different because it is seen through the eyes of a different therapist. Also, the unique interaction between them will bring forth a different content and delivery specific to that relationship.

Thus, existential supervision focuses on how a practitioner is with their clients – how they make themselves available as a vehicle for clients to experience themselves and take responsibility for their lives. Existential supervision also challenges the therapist to see their own blind spots of where they are colluding with social and cultural myths that negate them taking responsibility for their life choices – and choice of assisting their clients.Similar Posts:

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Relationship Counselling from an Existential Perspective

Clare — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:36:04 +0000

Relationship counseling helps individuals understand themselves and their relationships better. Socially, a relationship is typically considered to be that between two individuals who are intimately and psychologically connected as a ‘we’. Social and cultural expectations of what it is to be a ‘we’ are seen existentially as social limits to choice within relationship. These expectations are effectively myths – unquestioned assumptions of how we should, ought or must be in this thing we call ‘relationship’.

Relationship Counselling from an existential perspective encourages the couple or ‘we’ to put aside traditional notions of how they should think, feel and behave. Instead, it encourages them to examine how they are in relationship to their partner and their unique experiences of their created co-construction called ‘their relationship’. A shift from the word ‘relationship’ to ‘relating’ allows for dynamic, self-chosen ways of relating to another and opens up pathways to expand our ways of creating this potentially rewarding dimension to our existence through ‘relationship’.Similar Posts:

Dispelling the Myth of Cause and Effect in Relationships

Clare Mann — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:12:27 +0000

How often do you hear the words ‘She/He did this and I felt….’? It implies that a person feels a certain way because of someone else’s actions. What if this was a myth? What if these simplistic explanations merely trivialise the human experience, reducing understanding of ourselves and our worlds to cause and effect relationships?

I recently saw someone tenaciously hold to their story that a person’s actions resulted in them feeling very angry and upset. Despite much discussion, the person struggled to see things differently. It was not until they considered that it was not the ‘person’ who caused them upset, but their own anger at continually attracting this type of interaction into their life, that they were able to see what was really going on.

Where in your life are you denying responsibility for your actions by blaming others for how you feel or act?Similar Posts:

The Existential Angst of Everyday Change

Clare Mann — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:38:05 +0000

Existential angst presents itself in many forms. Have you ever experienced or learnt that a major change an individual experiences as positive and enhancing may be seen as negative, insignificant or trivial by others? For example, I recently learnt that a colleague was getting married. Eager to tell her close friends, she found certain of their responses unusual and upsetting. One friend immediately challenged her with cynical remarks about her choice of lifestyle and seeming denial of her independence – without even asking the to-be bride how she felt about her life choices. Why would a close friend seemingly fail to support her friend and want the best for her?

What if the bride to be’s choices were not, in themself, being resisted by the friend? What if the friend’s reactions had more to do with them facing the reality of change with all its losses? For example, the bride to be is changing her life which, in turn affects the friend’s world. Formerly she may have seen them as single women sharing similar experiences and venturing out together. This is now changing and with it comes an ending, indicating that all things are temporary – not just events or experiences – but the elements that make up our individual and collectively perceived worlds.

Reactions to change are existential in nature. Even those who change all the time find ’staying the same’ challenging – since the latter is a change to their perceived and created worldview that change is constant. By embracing the existential angst inherent in everyday change, we have the potential to live more mindfully and engage with others in more intimate ways, knowing that we are each co-created through our interwoven experiences.Similar Posts: