UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE!

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single person, in possession of whatever amount of fortune, doesn’t NECESSARILY want to get hitched. ”

-Jane Austen, or something.

PS. Thank you so much for listening to our lil podcast about how wedding planning can sometimes suck real hard! We’re taking a brief hiatus (Liz is married now!), but we’ll be back soon. Keep an ear to the ground for more Spice Chain updates, and follow us on instagram (@MWIC_Podcast) for some nice photos from the wedding! SEE YOU, SPACE COWPEOPLE!

If you, or someone you love, is a Spice Chain, PLEASE email us and let us know. Is Liz being Punk’d? PROBABLY.

The wedding’s just around the corner, so Liz and Teagan talk the ins and outs of how to actually do the wedding bit of being wed! But in the meantime, they also talk the commodification of self-care, making your dog an officiant, and the benefits of being a Dudas Priest.

Liz listened to a very earnest pitch on pots and pans in pursuit of a “free” honeymoon, and now you can hear about it so  you don’t have to watch a man cook chicken! You’re welcome, America!

This week, we talk the B-word. That’s right. The B-word, the dreaded word that brides get called when they’re just tryin’ to do their best in a patriarchy-trap. You guessed it, that word is BUTTHOLE.

JK, JK, it’s Bridezilla. But maybe we should call people being buttholes for their wedding buttholes instead of a sexist term used to keep women from asking for too much for themselves? I DUNNO, I’M NOT THE FUN POLICE.

Here’s a picture of a podcat, full of ennui!

Hello All. Unfortunately, Liz’s family got some very sad news this past week, which meant there’s no new episode. Stay tuned, Liz and Teagan will be back soon! In the meantime, let’s revisit the first episode and see how far we’ve come!

Countdown to the wedding is 24 days to go!

This week, Teagan and Liz take a brief break from shouting about being a person getting wedding-ed and the patriarchy to spend some time talking about GOING to a wedding and the patriarchy. How should one be a wedding guest? Here’s a hint- don’t spit blood on the bride!

Name-changing is a sticky subject, especially when changing your name means you will share a moniker with a very famous actress-lady. As per usual, patriarchy makes things more complicated than they have to be.

This week, it’s Liz and Damon, chatting about Mothers-in-Law, sitcoms, and sitcomy-mothers-in-law.

I don’t know if you thought maybe that underpants would be the part of wedding planning that was easy and not totally fraught with outdated societal pressures, but IF YOU DID, I have bad news for you!

We’re getting down to the wire on this wedding, folks, and Liz. Is. TIRED. But there’s still so much to do! Like, picking out decorations! This week, we mostly discuss decor! Have a theme, if you want! But as always, #dowhatyoucanafford

Today, joined again by Damon, the ladies are discussing wedding registries, and how asking for gifts can feel a little itchy, but is actually kind of a nice thing. 24/7/365 Registries for All!

Joined once again by Fiance-in-Chief Damon, Liz and Teagan talk pre-marital counseling, Damon and Liz’s experiences during it, how to find a therapist yourself (with some unfortunately named websites), and how to just dang communicate with the person or peoples you love!

Notes:
Liz and Damon searched for a therapist on the poorly-named therapistfinder.com, but that website seems to no longer exist. If you’re looking for a therapist for your partnership, yourself, or someone else, you can try this website instead:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Psychology Today has a large list of providers for all sorts of mental health, and you can sort by your locality to find them!

Go to a therapist! It’s great! (We’re not doctors or experts, just enthusiastic therapy-havers!)

We’re talking CAKES. We’re talkin’ DONUTS. We’re talking OPPRESSIVE CAKE TOPPERS that we LOATHE. Covering all our bases this week, let’s talk about Wedding Desserts! (Best accompanied by a giant cheese wheel cake, or, failing that, a cupcake. Of your choosing!)

This week, Teagan is mysteriously absent (don’t worry, she will return!), but keeping the co-host seat warm is Alison, Maid of Honor and Most Honorable Sister of the Bride. And lemme tell you, she has some OPINIONS about Pachelbel’s Canon. Don’t think you know that one? Guarantee you, you do.

Sisters talkin music and DJ’s and Robot Masks! A very fine first guest, if we do say so ourselves. Thanks, Ali!

This week, we’re talking dude stuff with Liz’s number one favorite dude, her fiance, Damon! We discuss suits, and suit shopping experiences, rental shoes, and Lisa Frank. (Any recommendations for a Lisa Frank tie very welcome.)

This one gets deep, my friends. A warning here to anyone who may not feel comfortable listening to talk of weight loss or diets (although we tend to skew, probably unsurprisingly, to the, “you’re great just the way you are!” side of the coin). We talk the good ole (nope, we hate it) hashtag, #sweatinforthewedding, makeup, skin care, the commodification of self-care, and other such stuff!

Teagan and Liz gently take down the monarchy, one crummy Lifetime movie at a time. We did our research this time, folks, even if it sure doesn’t sound like it. Happy nuptials, Harry and Meghan! Hope your romance was just as schmaltzy as that dramatization that Liz bought from Lifetime on YouTube.

Also, the ladies figure out that they would’ve been kinda douchey dudes if they were born men.

NOTES

I’m Sorry Ms Jackson- I am FOUR EELS

The Royal Weddings that Shaped European History- Vox

You wanna watch Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance? Here’s a link to buy it from YouTube!

Princess Michael’s Racist Brooch (It’s pretty dang tasteless)

That Toilet Hat

So You Don’t Have To’s Episode on The Boy

Teagan and Liz try hard not to yuck anyone’s yums, but man, nothing less fun-sounding than wearing a penis hat in public. Bottom line, be kind and considerate and don’t forget that other people exist, and then after that, go have a fun party!

NOTES!

“How Nashville Became One Big Bachelorette Party” on Buzzfeed

“SCORNED BEEF,” The Chicago Police Blotter for St. Patrick’s Day 2018. (We wish we came up with that title.)

Who’s your best friend? Who’s your ride-or-die, your BFF, the person you would ask to help you thwart a demon on your wedding day, or be abducted by marauders in your stead? Teagan and Liz talk how to pick the best people to protect you from the dangers of dowry-thieving demons. Or… you know… who should hold your flowers while you do the weddingy bits.

Welcome to our cross-post with our sister podcast, So You Don’t Have To, the podcast where Teagan and Liz watch crummy movies and tell you what they’re all about so you don’t have to watch em! This time, we went BRIDAL on this b*tch, and watched not one, but TWO rom-coms relating to weddings. First, LEAP YEAR, a movie with Amy Adams and a grown-up Freddy Highmore (also known as Matthew Goode) just really hatin’ on each other until inevitably they fall in love, and then BRIDE WARS, a movie about two friends who should probably not be friends, but because they’re Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson, they are.

Save the Dates and Invitations and Belly Bands and every kind of paper product you can think of, we chat about it! But not napkins. Or like, things you wipe your mouth with. THOSE paper products will be a later episode.

TV and movies can make wedding dress shopping look 80’s-Mall-Montage Fun, but in actuality it can be very 80’s-Slasher-Montage Not Fun. Navigating sizing, costs, and general expectations from the WIC can get a gurl DOWN. Liz and Teagan try to parse the reasons we do the silly things we do, and Liz gets real about the dress hunt.

Liz and Teagan went to a Wedding Show, trying to snatch up all the free samples without paying with their information. Pros: Cake to taste, and Mac and Cheese. Cons: Pretty much… all of it?

This episode had some technical difficulties, but we felt it was important for you to hear the inside scoop!

Email us at mwicpodcast@gmail.com with your thoughts and feelings and proposed bingo card slots for wedding expos!

Sometimes, when you are affianced, you want to reach out to popular media for inspiration. But let’s be real, wedding TV really leaves something to be desired. Like… compassion.

Wedding TV Shows (Wikipedia)

Special guest this week, Liz’s fiance, Damon, joins the gang to discuss wedding budgeting, when to talk about money with your partner (early and often!), and what the internet thinks your wedding should cost.

Teagan and Liz pull back the curtain on the so-called “tradition” of diamond engagement rings, and Liz solicits the help of the internet to find her lost ring.

Notes!

“Rings and Promises” by Margaret F. Brinig, George Mason University

“How an Ad Campaign Invented the Diamond Engagement Ring” by Uri Friedman, The Atlantic

“The History of the Diamond as an Engagement Ring,” The American Gem Society

“How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?” from The Knot

“What is a Promise Ring? The Real Meaning”

Listen Here!

Welcome to the show, friends! Listen as Liz, a soon-to-be-married woman, and her friend Teagan, a never-to-be-weddinged woman, chat about the insidious ways the Wedding Industrial Complex can get inside your head. First up, Proposals!

Notes!

Here’s some sources, some interesting reads, and some illuminating histories!

“Why Do Guys Kneel To Propose? The History of The Modern, Western Proposal”

“The Evolution of Popping the Question”

“8 Common Proposal Myths- Busted”