Nadhirah Baharin

Ramadan Reflection | One week into Ramadhan 1446H

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sun, 09 Mar 2025 04:06:00 +0000

It's been 8 days since we started fasting in Ramadhan. Each Ramadan that I have been will have a unique theme. I thought this Ramadhan would be the same as the rest of the year since I didn't prepare much. But ma sha Allah, who would've thought this Ramadhan I am working on FORGIVENESS.

Right before Ramadhan started, I was listening to Sh Hamza Yusuf lecture on Purification of the Heart. One thing that struck me the most was the topic on FORGIVENESS.

He went on to share the story of one of the Sahabahs. As Rasulullah saw. was sitting among his companions, He mentioned "A man of paradise is coming". To which one of them, Abdullah bin Amr ul Aas felt very compelled to know about this person more. To his surprise, the man of paradise did not do any additional prayers at night nor was he fasting voluntarily.

Abdullah bin Amr ul Aas later learned from the sahabah that before he went to sleep, he made sure that he FORGIVES every Muslim and made sure there was no hatred or jealousy in his heart.

I reflected on this deeply. And I acknowledge that deep in my heart, I still hold some resentment and anger towards some people.

Inspired by the story of this Sahabah, I decided to work on FROGIVENESS.

I mean, it's a win-win for me. Forgiving others will definitely bring so much peace in my heart in this world, and on top of that, you'll earn the blessings of Allah.

Only, it is not as easy as it seems. Yes, I might declare verbally or in my heart that "I forgive so and so". But later on when things happened or when I was reminded of some injustice I had faced, my heart filled with anger again. To which I then need to comfort my heart and say " I forgive so and so".

The plan is for now to renew forgiveness whenever I feel some anger or resentment creeping in again, even the tiniest bit. Hopefully, one day, my heart will be ikhlas. And there's nothing wrong with practicing an "outside-in" approach whilst waiting for real sincerity to take place in my heart. It's always a work in progress.

Also, what I am thinking I can start doing is to list down all the goodness that came from these people. Sometimes, they are a source of great blessings in our lives directly. But due to our hurt, he failed to notice the gift that they are. The blessings that they bring upon our life. For others, some of them might not directly bring any value to our lives, but they taught us lessons that we will never learn otherwise.

Now, I get that it takes a lot for someone to completely cleanse his/her heart from any hatred, anger, resentment and jealousy from others. You will need to look beyond your own hurt. Have trust in Allah that He will never look past your effort to strive for His pleasure. Even when no one knows, Allah is always there to acknowledge how hard you're trying to be a better person each day.

May Allah make it easy for us to navigate the trials and tribulations of this life.

I am always guided and protected.

Ameen.

Thirty Flirty and Thriving

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Fri, 07 Mar 2025 10:20:00 +0000

It has been about one and a half months since I turned 30. Wow I could not imagine turning 30 ever before lol. I think a lot of young people especially unmarried girls are sooo afraid of this number.

I think what people were afraid of about getting older is losing their youth. Being young comes with a lot of privilege. You are healthy, high metabolism, beautiful skin and figure, zest for life, innocent optimism of life in general.

As you get older, reality hit hard. And in my opinion, the hardest part about growing older is the responsibility that we need to shoulder. As time goes by we acquire more and more responsibility.

Suddenly there are bills to pay.

Mortgages and car loans.

Children needs.

Caring for parents of old age.

Supporting your loved ones.

Maintaining your own physical and emotional wellbeing.

Let's be honest. Trying to perfecting every aspect of our lives is exhausting. And futile. You will never be perfect in everything. Your life is meant to be messy sometimes.

So how can we manage?

I personally believe that it's the effort and intention that counts. As long as you put effort and renew intention to do good everyday. Life gets a little bit easier. Or at least, you will get a sense of fulfilment.

Now that I looked back in my life, how did I end up with so many things on hand. There seems to be not enough time to take care of everything. Work, business, family, personal relationship and my relationship with God.

What about romantic relationship?

I have heard about a lecture by Sh. Omar Suleiman that "Romance is Rizq (provision)". And just like any other type of Rizq, not everyone is blessed with one. I have to say, it used to bother me so much that I am not in a relationship. A couple of years back I don't even want to get married. I just want to have a lover that I can spend some times talking and exchanging loving words and gifts. There is a part of me that wants to be loved by the opposite gender.

Now, I am much more relaxed about it. Seriously nothing good will come out in desperation or stress. I thought, time is running out. My 20-s is ending and I need to do everything I can to secure a relationship. Yes, it was like a competition that I need to win. A race that I need to lead. A trophy that I can put on my shelves. Only then I can say "Yay! I made it!"

Alas, it is not for me to decide. And Allah must have a better plan for me.

I have to say though, this wasn't easy. There are times that I feel deep sadness and crippling loneliness. When most of your friends are married, with kids and husband. You can feel like you are behind everything and you are missing out so much in life.

For me particularly, I want to have children. And I wish to get children early as possible to that I am not too old when they're in university. I want to be healthy and witness a lot of their milestone in life. I want to nurture my own children to be amazing people. Only, we have no power over anything. I might do my absolute best and the children still didn't turn out as good people.

I try not to lose hope and faith in Allah's plan. I still make du'a that Allah will grant me a good, loving husband. However, if really there is no one written for me in this Dunya. I pray that Allah make me strong and still live a life full of love and care by the people around me.

One thing that I realise upon turning 30 is, the quality that I seek for in a man is very different than a couple of years back. And I also realise not many have the quality that I seek for.

I guess, when I was younger, I can tolerate more. Now, I feel like the capacity for me to accommodate to nonsense is getting smaller and smaller. I certainly don't think that I am "the prize". I just want somebody that can see eye to eye. That can hold the space to nurture growth, respect and love. Someone who is just as dedicated to being a good and responsible person. Someone that I can trust my heart and soul with. Someone to share the joy and love in this life whilst also striving for our eternal abode.

I did teared up a little whilst writing this. I guess there is still a part of me that longs for companionship with the right man. And there is a part of me that longs for being taken care of , being soft and feminine.

I will end by saying that despite everything, I am still hopeful and optimist that Allah will send someone my way. Someone that is already is his pursuit of his life meaning. I don't want to fall in love. I feel like it denotes a mistakes, an unintentional action, something that we are not in control. On the contrary, I want to orbit in love. A whole person, with another whole person. Making an amazing pact and partnership to lead an even more awesome life. Orbiting in love together.

Allahumma ameen ya rabbal 'alameen.

INSATIABLE

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0000

Have you ever felt like you have an endless hunger for something?

For me, currently I feel like I am experiencing hunger for food that, for the love of God, I can't curb if I want to.

It started when I took on the challenge to set up iLuvQuran Cyberjaya. I was so pumped and excited and seeing a lot of possibilities for the center. I am already imagining myself being a lady boss. Having good income. Expanding to other regions.

Boy oh boy. How naive I was. And how mistaken.

Being a business owner, entrepreneur or a boss, whatever you call it. It sounded all glamorous. But the reality is, you're really doing all the least glamorous things. Sweeping the floor. Carrying tens of chairs to the second floor. Learn to drill and build the IKEA furnitures like a true DIY experts.

The stress was very intense.

I need to be agile, adaptable and resourceful.

I need to be able to maximise my time doing productive things.

And unfortunately I would have to occasionally sacrifice rest, family events and personal care. Because I don't have the luxury of time to do everything in my limited time, and I dont have the luxury of money to leverage on others (ie, hiring more people for work).

Due to extreme stress and intensity of work that I needed to do. I choose to get a quick fix to my emotional distess. FOOD.

Yes food. If you know me, you know I love food. Food brought so much joy and comfort for me. And at that time it feels like food is the only thing that kept me going.

So it's been 2 months now and there has been at least 10 failed attempts to restart my diet journey.

The longest I managed to stay in the diet of no sugar is 2 days max. LOL. So pathetic. I KNOW!

I have always hated restricting myself. And going no sugar felt like I am restricting myself of the fun and joy of life.

Where else have I felt this way in my life?

Shopping.

I love shopping and it brings me joy. And restricting myself of shopping for some "finer" items makes me feel sad. I WANT SHINY THINGS! LOL XD.

Now that I think about it, I am reminded of a lecture on Purification of the Heart by Sh. Hamza Yusuf. Specifically on At-Tama' (Greed) and Hubbun Dunya (Love of the world).

These are impurities in my heart that needs cleansing. To cleanse oneself from greediness and excessive love of the material world. Which sadly a lot of us including me are struggling with.

When I feel deep in my heart, there is indeed an unquenchable thirst for food, wealth and fame. I wanted to eat a lot of good foods. I want to acquire the most amount of money and working in the highest paying job.

And don't get me wrong. None of these are "bad" or "Wrong" but if I only think about this just for the sake of indulging myself in worldly pleasure, I mean there would be no end to it.

I gotta refresh my intention and really look beyond superficial gains.

When I indulge myself in food, I starve myself of spiritual nourishment. I got lazy. I eat my feelings away. I make food as a coping mechanism rather than a form of nourishment for the body.

When my body is having excess weight, what are the baggages that I am carrying and dragging along. That I had trouble to let go. Is it anger, resentment or sadness?

What is the payoff of being overweight?

Excess fat or weight is usually created out of insecurities and the feeling of needing protection. What am I protecting myself from? Who am I keeping away from me?

Maybe, I am to stuck up on being in control. There is lack of trust of Allah to take care of my affairs. After all, I am always guided and protected.

Moving on, I wanted to really SURRENDER.

Surrender my life to Allah. And let His divine plan unfolds.

I can only pray that Allah make it easy for me to be among His beloved servants. Make it easy for me to pass through the tests of this Dunya. Make it easy for me to feel at ease and at peace.

Reminiscing my younger days.

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Wed, 05 Mar 2025 17:09:00 +0000

Wow. I cannot believe that it was literally 4 years since I have last written anything on this blog. It doesn't feel that long ago. I had a glimpse of my blog and I was instantly reminded of my younger days.

However one thing that strikes me the most was how intuitive and deep I was.

These days, I speak a lot of jargon. And a lot of it were words, sentences and quotes that I got from my coaches, the programs that I've attended or the new circle that I have now.

But ma sha Allah looking back, I was surprised at how self-aware I was even before going through these "transformative" experiences.

Which makes me feel like I should start writing on my blog. I realised that I get to be raw, vulnerable and authentic because there's not many people reading it and thus there is less pressure to be likeable or to appease the audience.

Because let's be honest, blog is dead. I think.

But something about the low visibility of blog , really caught my attention now.

I feel like I get to be myself more. I dont have to think about how other's might feel about my writing.

Instead of writing it down in my diary, perhaps I can use this platform to share the more raw and vulnerable side of me.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

All of it.

I am excited to write my next entries!!

And perhaps I will write several entries tonight inn sha Allah. K.I.S.S - Keep It Simple and Stupid. That's the plan for now.

Avoidance coping

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 29 Apr 2021 06:06:00 +0000

When someone is being hurtful to you, they are the one actually experiencing some kind of hurt.

So whatever they say is a reflection of what is going on inside of them. It has NOTHING to do with you.

You need to learn to dissociate from that person, knowing that what they say isn't YOUR reality, but theirs.

I for one take things personally and too deeply. I feel like people know the exact thing to do to hurt me.

But now I'm learning to be complete with those hurtful comments and smirks and doubts. Knowing that what they say isn't MY reality.

I am solely responsible for my own feeling. I can only change myself and how I react to those around me. I shall no longer wish people behave differently because that is just wishful thinking.

Today, I learned that I tend to resolve to "avoidance coping" mechanism. And just shut down completely sometimes.

So the challenge I want to overcome today is to stop withdrawing myself from uncomfortable situation.

Nadhirah

I am perfect just the way I am and I accept my flaws as the beauty of life.

#bringitown

#healingjourney

She walked away in silence

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Fri, 30 Nov 2018 13:10:00 +0000

And there she was
Sat on the stone by the lakeside
Her mind wandered through the depth of the sky
Lost in thoughts
Counting every memory that came flashing by

She opened up her chest
Letting herself to feel vulnerable
And pain
That kissed every fibre of her being

She closed her eyes
Took a deep breath and hold it for a little while
Feeling the air that encompassed her lungs
And let it out with a heavy sighs

Of questions that are yet to be answered

Of meanings that are yet to be defined

Of walks and paths that crossed and halted

She walked away in silence

New job, new phase of life ^^

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 14:53:00 +0000

Its almost 2 months now since I started working. Alhamdulillah it is better than I expected. It is challenging but I always say the challenges are like a barrier that you have to go over. NOT a stopping wall.

To be honest, I love my job.

But,

Strange.

It is bizarre that other people have so much opinion in my life decision. I have many occasion whereby others told me.. or usually IMPLY that ooohhh. its better than not having a job at all.

Excuse me.

I freaking love my job.

Obviously, I didn't say it to their face (like they did to me?!) XD

But I learn to ignore things. I mean, you can never expect people to stahp talking right?

I am trying not to feel so personally attacked by all these remarks. It won't get me anywhere.

Please, I am just beginning to transitioning into a new phase of life. I still have so many questions. About my future, about the world, and even about myself.

I am still trying to figure out what kind of person I am.

I am still trying to love myself because if I don't, nobody will.

I am still trying not to beat myself up every single time I messed up.

The world need to spread more love, happiness and positivity.

Until next time, keep me in your prayers.

I just need to say this..

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:36:00 +0000

And today, again, after so many months
I was reminded of you
No, I was reminded of my feelings for you.

I never ever want to remember how you smile, and talk
or how you sat quietly in the corner of that room

Ahh.. That beautiful heart of yours
And now that I remembered how deep was my feelings for you,
I broke into tears
But, somehow it build my soul.

It was bizarre that we can actually push the thoughts of someone,
somewhere, in the most secluded corner of your mind.

You never actually forget.
It was just buried under the surface.

But, I have never regretted it
Not once
And today, I was reminded of what a person I am.

I love hard
I care deep
And I stay true to myself

It's okay. I am okay. It was just never mean to be.
I have been so strong for the past year
But today somehow, I decided to break down
And cry

I hope you will be blessed with a beautiful life

I will adore you from the distance
once or twice again
in a lifetime

Nasheed - Ya Ilahi

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 21:39:00 +0000

في ليلة من الليالي

في ليلة من الليالي .. لست أدري ما اعتراني
ظلمةٌ تغمرني يا رب
الأرض ضاقت والسماء .. وقلبي ما عرف الضياء
والدمع بات يبكي يا إلهي
عصيت والذنب كبير .. وإني في حزني أسير
مقيد بالذنب يا رب
فهل يستحق يا .. إلهي العفو مجرماً
مقرٌّ بالذنوب يا إلهي
أنت الذي خلقتني ... رحمتني ورزقتني
دوماً يا رب قد كنت معي
لكنني نأيت عنك .. نسيت ما قد كان لك
وسرت في طريقي يا إلهي
واليوم يا رب أعود .. من ظلمة خلف الحدود
فالقلب منكسر وطرفي حائر
وأنا الغريق فلا أرى .. إلا سواك لي منقذاً
لا منجى ولا منجى إلا أنت
يا إلهي

Still...

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 19:15:00 +0000

I do. I still do

Another day when all the memories comes flashing back again

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 12:08:00 +0000

Dear ex best friend,

Why do I love you too deep?

Why do I care so much about you even until now?

Why can't I just forget you?

but..

why can't we be like how we used to be...

Because we were both scarred and scared. We left each other. We decided one day we are going to be only in the memories of each other. In the past. Not in the present nor the future. We decided that.

I still cry when thinking about you.

And you sometimes still coming back in my dream.

I wish the day I met you was the day I walked far far away from you. I wish I never get to be close to you and hurt you and felt hurt by the thing you did which weren't meant to hurt me. I wonder why our story was written this way. Why it is possible to end a friendship?

I have suffered from heartache. I didnt blame you. It was all written.

This is one of the most painful thing that has happened in my life. I freaking hurt so bad and I hated it. I know I am going to come out stronger. I know I will.

But I am not sure if I really wanted this feeling to go away. It is the only thing that reminds me I can love someone so deeply, care for someone so much and it reminds me I still have that little bit of humanity left in my gut. I only hated the pain its causing me.

I guess I just have to deal with it.

Dear aching heart, you will heal.

Inn sha Allah

Not everyone will like this movie

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 22:24:00 +0000

Demolition was released on 2015. It is a story about Davis's (Jake Gyllenhaal) post-traumatic stress disorder. Davis was portrayed as a typical rich bloke. He is working in "finance", and got married to a girl whose daddy got plenty of cash although that wasn't the reason he married her. He barely noticed anything and took everything for granted especially his wife's love. I don't think he didn't love her. I think he just didn't care enough before she died. Before everything was too late.

I have no expectation whatsoever on this movie. When I watched it for the first time it didn't occur to me that it is so emotionally powerful. I first thought it is a comedy-drama because that was what was written somewhere on the internet and I was looking for a feel-good movie. An uplifting one. I am not sure if this movie is uplifting but it did make me feel good, in a strange way.

At first I was a little confused about what Davis was doing. He was trying to act like everything was normal and nothing had happened. He came to the office, I assume, the next day his wife died. Then it occurred to me he was actually completely blocking his emotion out.

He did not trust himself to feel such pain. He was not willing to let himself cry, or even talk about his feeling and what had happened. He was empty. His soul was not in his body. His mind wandered everywhere trying to grasp every inch of the universe.

His mind was clearly was not in working order at all. He became friends with a stranger, Karen, who smoke cannabis and her son, Chris. He confided in Karen about everything and trusted her to sort of navigate his life because he seemed like he really didn't know where he should be going or where he wanted to go. He is simply a lost adult overwhelmed by the world. He also told Karen he didn't love Julia.

Davis then wanted to "know what is inside" everything. He tried to fix the refrigerator that his wife told him to fix prior to her death. He eventually demolished the refrigerator and subsequently many other things including his office's bathroom door (because they were creaking), his computer, a cappuccino machine and he even tear his house down with a bulldozer he got from eBay. Interestingly, Gyllenhaal was able to make Davis appear as not an angry man. Yes, he sure destroyed a couple of hundred thousands worth of stuff, but he wasn't turning into the Hulk. He felt tremendous pain in his heart that destroying something, anything, made him feel good. As if he wanted to crush his inside.

I feel the whole reason why he did what he did, was that he was trying to "know what is inside" himself. He probably felt he wanted to know what he was actually feeling. He is scouring through his inside but he just couldn't be honest with himself. He was in so much pain and because he is not used to communicating his feeling, he is having a hard time to express his emotion. His heart was hurt so bad that I think even the thought of his wife will make the cut go deeper. His take on that was to just, block it all out, in the hope that his pain will eventually go. Except it didn't.

Davis once stepped on a three-inched nail and after screaming to death out of pain from his foot, he was cheering the injury shortly after. He finally felt "physical" pain. I think what happened was that his physical pain was greater than what he was feeling inside him and for that split second he actually felt what was going inside him couldn't be the worse thing to happen.

The last scene of Davis meeting his father in law, Phil, just broke my heart. He finally came to term with his feeling and allow himself to feel his inside. He said to Phil he love Julia and I personally think it was after going through those bizarre experiences of feelings and emotions that he couldn't name them, that he finally understands he had loved Julia so much. His eyebrow drooped and you can see pools of tears in his eyes when he finally came to his senses. I find it interesting that this story just let Davis walk through his feeling and let him reconcile without any "second hit" on him. Just the perfect way to tell someone somewhere curled up on his bed mourning for his/her life that "time will heal".

Jake Gyllenhaal's performance was outstanding. He truly immersed himself in the life of Davis. I couldn't think of anyone who could perform it better than him. And can we take a moment to appreciate how good his facial expression and body gesture was? That deserves a standing ovation.

Lastly, I know this film would not be everyone's favourite. I can think of many reasons why like how "quiet" the movie was, how slow and "boring" it could get. But, for me, everything was spot on. One of my best watch this year, but I'm warning you, it might not be yours :)

A letter to you

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 21:36:00 +0000

Assalamualaikum.

Hope you're doing great right where you are now. It has been a rough couple of months now since we've last spoken. I hope you don't skip meals anymore and pretty much getting along well in your new phase of life.

We didn't get to see each other for the last time last summer. But given our condition back then, it wasn't a good idea. Neither of us has fully healed. At least not me. But alhamdulillah for whatever that has happened. It's sad but things happen and Allah knows best.

I just wanted to say I am sorry for being a very lacking friend. For being too ignorant of your feelings. I know how fragile your heart (And mine) is yet I still did what I do.

Where did this go so wrong?

It was a mere misunderstanding. I know it's so hard to read this but I really didn't mean that. It was the circumstance that made it looked like what it really isn't. I have no intention of making excuses for myself but I think you and I deserve to know this truth.

I know it isn't fair for you to keep being my friend just because I love you, needed you and want you to remain in my memories. It can't be all about me. I admit I have nothing that I have given or can give to you. Nothing very special. Unlike you. You gave me a perfect companionship, warm smiles and comforting words. You are very special to me. Maybe that is why I still cry.

The first few months were very hard. I thought I can forget you, this, and everything that has happened between us by seeding anger and blocking my sadness and thinking of every reason why I should (need to) hate you. Hopefully, I can feel less pain. Less disoriented.

But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I never heal. I never think less of you. In fact, you're still coming back again and again and again in my dream until now. Sometimes I dreamt of you and I. We were good friends again. It felt so good and so real and I was so sure it was happening. Then I opened my eyes. Nothing has changed. You're still the missed new stranger.

All sorts of questions began to emerge. Maybe I just don't deserve to have a really good companion. Maybe I'm too bad for someone too good. Can I trust someone my heart? Can I make sure my heart won't be broken again? Should I stop caring and sharing my love to anyone?

Then I tried to accept that some things happen just because it needed to happen. And just because my heart was in a lot of pain, it doesn't have to say that way and I guess. Knowing you, I know you're concerned about me. Rest assured I am doing my very best right now. I stop shutting people off. I accept old and new friends. Again. I am not bitter anymore.

I learn to forgive myself. I know I am not to be blamed entirely. But I acknowledge my mistake which has led to this situation.

The hardest part of all is trying to recollect each memory in Sheffield without feeling remorse that the good 2 years when we were best friends has ended. Trying to look at my photos without my thumb covering your face. And trying not to deny you were there all the time.

Lastly, I hope you can forgive me. I pray you'll meet a better person than me you honestly deserve the best for who you are.

They say broken romantic relationship gets all the love and flowers and comfort from those around you. And broken friendship often goes unnoticed, trivial, felt a lot less important. I don't know if that's true, because I didn't tell anyone what has happened, but a little google search for surviving broken friendship confirms this theory.

>> I have read that I should write a letter to her although not necessarily post/send it to her. I agree that it feels good doing this. But I'm not sure if it's helping or not.

You're too good at goodbyes

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 20:28:00 +0000

Everytime... Every single time I listen to this song I can only relate ever so much. I still cry.

It doesn't feel good. But I still play this song again and again and imagining at the back of my mind you are singing this song to me.

It's our perfect friendship break up song. Isn't it?

I still love you and wish we could be like how we used to be.

I guess this friendship never make it to Jannah

You must think that I’m stupid You must think that I’m a fool You must think that I’m new to this But I have seen this all before I’m never going to let you close to me Even though you mean the most to me 'Cause every time I open up it hurts So I’m never going to get too close to you Even when I mean the most to you In case you go and leave me in the dirt But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) No way that you’ll see me cry (No way that you’ll see me cry) I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) I know you’re thinking I’m heartless I know you’re thinking I’m cold I’m just protecting my innocence I’m just protecting my soul I’m never going to let you close to me Even though you mean the most to me ‘Cause every time I open up it hurts So I’m never going to get too close to you Even when I mean the most to you In case you go and leave me in the dirt But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) No way that you’ll see me cry (No way that you’ll see me cry) I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes) No... (I’m way too good at goodbyes) (I’m way too good at goodbyes) (No way that you’ll see me cry) Oh... (I’m way too good at goodbyes) ‘Cause every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true I’m way too good at goodbyes

I got my Final Year Project title and it is so cool!

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sat, 30 Sep 2017 08:10:00 +0000

FYP title : The host inflammatory reaction to the cochlear stem cell transplant

Sounds sick right? I knowwwwwwwwwwww.....

To be honest I was not quite thrilled the first time I read the title. I actually not so fond of ears and hearing although Proffesor Howley is a great lecturer who teach us that subject. I don't know probably because there are some elements of physics when you learn about ear and hearing. Well actually physics has a lot to do in cells and stuffs but just that when we learn about the ear, the physics side of it is much emphasized. Geddit?

I have started reading some research journals and articles and I find it not too bad at all. And the more I read about it the more I fell in love with ear and hearing.

Last night I was studying the anatomy and physiology of the ear and subhanallah it was mind-blowing! The whole explanation of the mechanism of hearing seems so simple. The pinna collects sound waves and the sound waves then travel through the ear canal and eventually hit the eardrum (tympanic membrane).

Sounds so simple right?

Wrong!

I am yet to fathom how our amazing anatomy of the ear and it's mechanism of hearing could give us the ability to distinguish millions of different type of sounds. And how we can "ignore" background noises when we talk to someone or focusing on a different audio like when you are listening to a podcast.

The creaking wooden floor as I'm walking on it, the whistling of the wind, the steaming broth in a saucepan, the plucking of guitars and violins and the gushing of tap water down the sink.

It is a wonderful world of tunes.

And to think that we are able to recognise those different sounds by mean of our small ear is just so amazing. And I thought, how can this happen "instantaneously" or just by chance?

It is a grand design. A meticulous one. Perfect for it's function. How can we ever devised something like thus without prior inspiration from existing creation?

It is a very humbling thought and I hope this project will go well and possibly remind me to always be humble.

Till the next rant,

Nadhirah

Friendship hurts too

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 07:39:00 +0000

I still remember Mom said don't be too close to someone. To anyone.

There was a friend of mine. A friend so close I wouldn't trade her for anyone else. We've shared a lot of things even though we were so different. We are so different.

She is very graceful and gentle. I could never be like that.

When we've said our goodbyes it ripped my soul apart.

I could barely stand a thought of you without bursting into tears. Or anger.

Sometimes I questioned how did this go so wrong. I will never know. I still love her. I know I still do.

Dear friend if only you know how you slipped into my dream every so often. Sharing the warmth of summer and the comfort of laughter.

It is bizarre that my tears still run hot down my face as I am writing this though it has been a couple of months now.

I have cried too much and little did I know a friendship can be the source of my agony.

It was long gone the time when I would touch someone's soul to share our pain and joy. For I fear this broken heart won't survive another storm.

I left social media and do I regret it?

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Wed, 13 Sep 2017 20:02:00 +0000

Hiya!

So it's been a month and 8 days since I quit social media.

What do you mean QUIT?!

You asked? So when I say quit, I literally mean I quit. I left Facebook, Instagram, twitter and snapchat. I permenantly deleted my main accounts on these platforms.

To be truly honest with you, so far I have not really felt anything about it. It has just been a quiet month for me. And a month of social-media-voidness in my life is too short of a period of time to actually comment on it.

I am a social media addict hands down. My biggest problem was Facebook. I literally couldn't stop scrolling down. I could lie down on my bed or on the sofa and start scrolling for hours and hours non-stop! It just never ends. My addiction was as bad that if I open my web browser on my computer or on my mobile the first thing I would do would be to press "F" and hit enter. Bam! Facebook will officially be the first thing I would go to even though I needed to do something else. That's how bad my addiction was.

But that is not the only reason why. I feel that Facebook had become so impulsive for me. Everything I saw on Facebook was like "The News" for me that needed my attention. Every comment made was so wrong that they always trigger me to hit reply to that nonsensical, rude and blasphemous remarks. I become so overwhelmed with emotions every passing day.

This is too sad, that is too outrageous. Why do people do this? Why can't they ~~understand~~?

When I look back and really contemplate on how I utilise my time, I couldn't lie to myself that I have engaged in so many superficial things especially social media. It adds NOTHING to my life. Well probably frankly ever SO LITTLE! I wanted to do online courses where I actually learn something. I wanted to add value and transferable skills. I want to read more books. And I want to start blogging again. I want to do A LOT of things and I could not afford to waste it on social media.

I woke up one morning realising that I needed to quit now. Whatever the consequences I will have to embrace it. I went to youtube and listened to Cal Newport's lecture at TEDx talks, Quit Social Media. He is the famous writer who coined the term "DEEP WORK" and whom later became one of my favourite authors! I even bought a copy of his book Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and later bought the accompanying audible version of the book. ps Let me know if you want a review on the book :p

I thought to myself, whatever this guy is saying is so true! It was so mind-blowing to me. I have listened to a few others YouTubers who shared their experience of quitting social media. Cal's insights made the most sense to me. I contemplated for a while and decided to just... Do it.

I went to https://www.facebook.com/help/delete_account to permanently delete my account. I clicked the "delete my account" button and thought, THAT'S IT, I'VE DONE IT!! I was about to celebrate my new accomplishment but there was a glitch. Facebook gave me 14 days before it was permanently deleted.

14 DAYS? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH WILL POWER TO LAST ME A FORTNIGHT!!!!!

I thought that was it. I could have never lasted 14 days without logging into my facebook back. Looking at my past records of million attempts on deactivating Facebook only to log back in again, I really doubt myself. But I eventually did it.

Do I regret it?

Not really. In fact, I think I would like to keep it this way as long as possible. Don't get me wrong, I do intend to go back to social media BUT when I do, I really wanted to do it deliberately, not impulsively.
It takes a while to social-media-detox your mind. Even though I was not engaged in social media anymore, I tend to slip into the world of gaming. Whenever I feel extremely bored, and being an ENFP I will become bored 1000 times faster than the rest of the humankind, I will go to the app store and install some games.

I still had not become as productive as I would like to be but, baby step at a time. At least there were no games that I have not uninstalled within a week.

I still need to read more book, rather than watching movies or dramas.

I still need to finish a hundred courses I have signed up for but never finish any of them.

I still need to review my course contents.

In a nutshell, I am still very far from my target but right now, I am happy to know that I can gain enough will power if I work towards it and persevere.

That is all of my rant tonight. Till next time,

Adios <3

Numb

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Mon, 24 Apr 2017 17:10:00 +0000

Bismillairrahmanirrahim...

What a day...

I am too overwhelmed by emotions. I feel sad,

I feel Happy,

Hopeless,

Grateful,

Relieved,

Hopeful.

There are too many emotions that I become physically exhausted. Emotionally drained.

I felt numb.

It's weird. I felt sad. But I couldn't cry.

I feel empty.

It is as if I am breathing but I am not alive. My heart is beating but my system completely shut down.

Funny how the things that I really want could bring so much pain in my heart. But it's funnier how I actually do not want something that my heart really, really want.

It doesn't really make sense does it.

A constant battle within you. Deep within your heart.

I am glad everything happened this way. I wouldn't want it to happen any other way. I know it's better for me to feel this pain now.

And I am so glad that there is only one person that gets hurt.

Me.

Wallahi if this doesn't happen this way, a lot more people would've been hurt. And scarred.

Alhamdulillah ya Allah. This is what I want.

This is what I really want.

Even though my heart is in immense pain, this is still what I want.

Oh Allah, I left the matter to you and I have an absolute faith in You. That you will only destine the best for me, my deen, my dunya and my akhirah.

I seek you to heal my pain.

I seek you to mend my broken heart.

For I live in this world just for You and You alone.

It doesn't matter to me what my heart want. It's about what You want for me and from me.

Oh Allah, give me permission to be in sorrow today. Allow me to feel this sadness. And cry.

But please lift me up tomorrow. Heal me. Care for me. And love me.

Be pleased with me.

I only want You.

Dear readers,

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sat, 10 Dec 2016 22:20:00 +0000

Assalamualaikum dear readers.

I don't know why but currently I am having butterflies flying around my stomach.

I am currently in a very strange situation. Too much emotions, feelings and thoughts. I felt a little overwhelmed by everything that is going on in my mind and my heart. I don't know how this very small heart could contain so much.

Have you ever felt like you are the most worthless person on earth? You felt so terrible about yourself. Like you've wronged so many people and hurt so many hearts? I am feeling that now. It is too much to bear for a sinner like me.

I wish I could be a little better. A little wiser.

Dear readers,

How is it possible to feel so much pain when there is no physical wound?

Or is it really pain?

Is it not a longing for something?

Something pure. Soothing. Calming. Assuring.

Am I actually longing for God?

Yes yes. I think I am.

Dear readers,

I am desperately longing for reassurance.

I need to know whether I am doing the right thing in life. I need to know I am doing the right thing, the right way. I need to know I am doing good.

If I am not then I need to know which is the right thing to do, and what is the right may to do it.

Dear readers,

Sometimes when I reflect upon my life and my journey, I began to question my purpose of being in this world.

Who am I? Who was I? What will I be?

I want to make changes. Will I be a scientist who will change people's life? Will I be a teacher who will change people's mind?

But all those are questions of the future. I want to to question my presence at present.

Being a very busy lady, a biomedical science student, a committee of USIC, a member of various other organisations. I felt like I am continuing to feel a little less of me.

If this is a current pursue of understanding myself to understand my Creator,

I don't feel like I know myself anymore.

I don't feel like I know why I am doing whatever I am doing now.

Can I,

For once,

just.be.me

Rezeki itu milikmu... Tenang-tenangkanlah hatimu

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Tue, 12 Jul 2016 13:08:00 +0000

Imam Hasan Basri ditanya tentang rahsia zuhudnya..

Ia menjawab:
"Aku tahu rezekiku tidak akan diambil orang lain,
kerana itulah hati-ku selalu tenang...

"Aku tahu amal perbuatanku tidak akan dapat
ditunaikan orang lain,
kerana itulah aku sibuk mengerjakannya..

"Aku tahu ALLAH mengawasiku,
kerana itulah aku selalu merasa malu bila
dia melihatku dalam keadaan maksiat...

"Aku tahu kematian itu sudah menungguku,
kerana itulah aku selalu menambah bekal untuk
pertemuanku dengan ALLAH.

Tahniah AJK SMSA 16/17

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Sun, 13 Mar 2016 00:36:00 +0000

Tahniah buat sahabat-sahabat yang menerima amanah baru dalam SMSA ( Sheffield Malaysian Student Association). Semoga manifesto-manifesto tersebut berjaya dimanifestasi dalam gerak kerja anda in sya Allah...

Tentunya ada pengertian yang lebih besar dari sekadar jawatan yang diterima. Itulah yang namanya pengalaman yang nanti kita berpenat lelah, merasa kekecewaan dan pengorbanan. Tapi, manisnya itu tetap akan ada.

Kita mengasakan dan mencita-citakan mahasiswa yang bagus jati dirinya, kuat semangatnya dan kental peribadinya. Maka disini kita mulakan kembara baru. Inilah ekspedisi kita meneroka pentas baru, mengoles celoreng semangat dan mencari butir-butir hikmah.

Make us proud :)

#goSMSA #goUSIC #duaduadihati #SMSAUSICbergabungmeletup

ps : "kita" as in, even though I am not part of SMSA committee, i would like you guys to know you have my full support. My involvement as a USIC committee can be seen as an effort to achieve our "internationalisation" aim. It is like SMSA-member-who-run-in-an-international-society kind of thing :p

Pertemuan dengan gadis jepun di Prayer Room

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 21:46:00 +0000

Saya membuka laman web Al-Huda Islamic Centre untuk melihat jadual waktu solat pada hari ini. Asar pukul 4.09 petang. Musim luruh di Sheffield kini berada di akhir fasanya, dan musim sejuk bakal hadir beberapa hari lagi.

Saya bergegas ke "prayer room" di Student Union bagi menunaikan solat maghrib. Sesampai sahaja di sana saya terlihat seorang gadis Asia duduk di atas kerusi di dalam prayer room tersebut.

Dari rupanya, saya mengagak mungkin dia gadis berbangsa cina.

"I know one word. Arigatou gozaimas!" kata salah seorang wanita yang berada di dalam bilik tersebut. Gadis itu tesenyum lebar.

"Are you from Japan?" Saya bertanya pada dia.

"Yes"

"Wow. This girl here, we call her Sushi because she knows japanese" Saya berkata padanya sambil menunjukkan kearah Sushi. Nampaknya Sushi kembang 2 kali ganda dari saiz tubuhnya.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she once sang one japanese song to us"

Kami gelak bersama. Saya bersedia mengambil wudu' dan membiarkan dia disitu.

Usai sahaja mengambil wudu', lantas gadis jepun itu berkata "This is interesting. Everyone here go and wash themselves"

Saya tersenyum lebar. Dia kelihatan sangat teruja dengan ritual para muslimah di bilik itu.

Saya menggunakan peluang yang ada untuk mencambahkan topik perbualan kami petang itu.

"Yes. Before we pray, we need to wash ourselves as a symbol to purify our physical and spiritual" Saya melemparkan senyuman mesra kepadanya

"I have never seen people doing this. Is there meaning about this direction" katanya lagi sambil menunjukkan kearah kiblat.

"Yes, do you know mecca?"

"Yes"

"Do you know kaaba? the black box?"

"No"

"Well, when we pray we need to face the kaaba. However we are not worshipping the Kaaba." Saya berhenti sebentar untuk melihat responnya.

"Owh, right."

"It is a symbol of unity among muslims. So where ever someone wants to pray, he need to ensure he is facing the kaaba as best as he can. But if he could not, it is fine. This is to show that all muslims are united" Saya menyambung lagi.

"I see"

"Do you want to see the picture of Kaaba?"

"Yes"

Saya segera mencari gambar Ka'bah versi 360 darjah lalu menunjukkan gambar Ka'bah itu kepadanya.

"Wow it is beautiful"

Saya tersenyum melihat reaksinya.

"Do you see the people here?" Saya bertanya sambil menunjuk kearah jemaah haji yang sedang menunaikan tawaf.

"Yes"

"They are doing pilgrimage. Do you know what that is?"

"No"

"Basically we will come here to walk around the kaaba 7 times"

"Right."

"This place is the most spiritual place in the world"

Dia meminta diri tidak lama kemudian setelah rakannya selesai solat.

Pengalaman ini walaupun sebentar sangat memberi makna yang signifikan bagi saya secara peribadi.

Walaupun saya agak menyesal kerana tidak cukup bijak dalam mempersembahkan agama islam kepada gadis tersebut, saya berharap sangat dari perbualan tadi dapat sedikit sebanyak membuat dia terdetik untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang Islam.

Saya amat berharap selepas ini akan ada lagi peluang-peluang lain untuk bercerita tentang Islam. Mempersembahan agama Muhammad ini.

Saya masih ingat lagi cita-cita yang disemat dalam diri sewaktu di Malaysia, bahawa saya ingin menjadi duta kecil Islam.

Doakan saya dan sahabat-sahabat muslim yang lain dapat menggunakan segala peluang yang ada untuk sebaik mungkin berdakwah kepada non-muslim di Tanah Inggeris ini.

Allahumma faqqihna fiddeen.

17 November 2015

#terbangtanpasayap

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 09:51:00 +0000

Bismillah...

In sya Allah saya akan memulakan siri penulisan ala-ala travelog bermula dengan blog ini.

Sebenarnya sudah sekian lama saya memendam hasrat untuk membukukan ulisan saya. Jadi saya Berdoa kepada Allah supaya memberi kemudahan dan melapangkan urusan saya. Tujuan saya tidak lain hanyalah untuk berkongsi beberapa ibrah yang saya kutip disepanjang perjalan saya bermula dari alam persekolahan hinggalah ke negara eropah.

Semoga para pembaca yang dirahmati Allah dapat memberikan sedikit saranan dan nasihat buat saya yang baru berjinak-jinak dalam dunia penulisan.

Kalau tiada aral melintang, saya merancang untuk menerbitkan buku tulisan saya pada akhir tahun 2016 atau 2018 bergantung kepada sebanyak mana saya mampu menulis.

Saya juga berhasrat untuk berkongsi sedikit tips-tips buat adik-adik yang ingin sirius dalam bidang akademik mereka dan dalam masa yang sama tidak mahu mengkesampingkan peluang yang ada untuk menambah ilmu dan amal.

In sya Allah...

Semoga hasrat saya ini diberkati dan diperkenankan oleh Allah swt

sehingga bertemu di entri akan datang

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Jangan Biar Anak Perempuan Buat Semua?

noreply@blogger.com (Nadhirah Baharin) — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 04:08:00 +0000

Bismillah..

Hari ini saya terpanggil untuk mengulas satu isu yang dibangkitkan oleh satu page di Facebook. Malangnya saya sudah terlupa page berkenaan, jadi saya tidak dapat menyertakan link asal post berkenaan.

Secara umumnya, post itu bertemakan seputar didikan anak perempuan. Walaupun isinya lebih kenapa didikan anak lelaki.

Antara yang menarik dan membuat saya terfikir adalah 'Jangan biar anak lelaki lebih perempuan dari perempuan, dan anak perempuan lebih lelaki dari lelaki'

Hal ini saya kira ada benarnya.

Bila saya imbas kembali senario di kebanyakan rumah-rumah kita, majoriti anak perempuan boleh menguruskan hampir semua urusan rumah-rumah. Dari menyapu sampah, membersihkan tingkap, memasak, susun atur perabot bahkan mungkin ada beberapa anak perempuan yang lebih "advance" lagi yang pandai ilmu-ilmu asas pertukangan, berkebun dan pendawaian.

Tidak pelik bukan?

Baiklah, mari kita tengok pula anak-anak lelaki di rumah.

Apa yang mereka lakukan? Adakah mereka membantu tugas-tugas mudah seperti mengangkat kain di jemuran atau membasuh pinggan?

Ahhh... Ini kerja orang perempuan

Benar. Tapi apa pula kerja orang laki-laki?

Saya cuba mencari sebab kenapa timbulnya budaya anak perempuan yang bertanggungjawab ke atas urusan rumah tangga sejak turun temurun, tanpa mengira sebarang peradaban dan tempat.

Lalu saya terfikirkan satu jawapan.

Iaitulah, anak lelaki pada zaman dahulu terlibat dalam aktviti-ativiti berbentuk "outdoor". Lihat sahaja filem dahulu seperti Nujum Pak Belalang dan lain-lain. Kita dapat lihat anak lelaki memenuhi jadual harian mereka setiap hari dengan perkara-perkara berbentuk luar rumah.

Anak lelaki zaman dahulu, agenda harian mereka termasuk skil-skil kemandirian hidup. Mereka belajar cara-cara memikat burung, belajar menebang pokok, belajar menangguk ikan mahupun mencandat sotong. Skil-skil "survival" ini secara tidak langsung menanamkan dalam diri anak lelaki tersebut rasa kerbertanggungjawaban terhadap kaum perempuan di rumah-rumah mereka.

Mentaliti yang ada dalam diri mereka adalah, "Jika bukan orang laki-laki yang mencari rezeki, bagaimana mahu menyara anak bini". Dan mentaliti sebegini telah tertanam sejak mereka kecil. Anak laki-laki harus kuat. Harus mampu membuat kerja-kerja. Jikalau tidak menebang pokok, pergilah mencari kayu api. Nanti tidak berasap jadinya dapur hari ini.

Justeru, tidak hairanlah anak-anak perempuan mengambil tugas menguruskan hal-hal di rumah. Di saat anak lelaki kebanyakannya terlibat dengan aktiviti-aktiviti mereka di luar rumah.

Apa beza hari ini?

Ingin saya jelaskan awal-awal ini hanyalah sekadar pendapat peribadi berdasarkan pemerhatian saya. Saya tidak nafikan ada sesetengah rumah tidak begini. Saya tidak men"generalisasi" cuma cuba untuk mengkaji yang majoriti.

Kita lihat pada hari ini anak perempuan lebih matang dalam menguruskan kehidupan mereka. Mereka sudah punya rasa bertanggungjawab untuk membantu menguruskan rumah tangga. Sebaliknya, disebabkan keadaan masyarakat kita yang sudah jarang-jarang keluar rumah, maka anak lelaki sudah tidak lagi terlibat dengan aktiviti-aktiviti yang menanamkan rasa tanggungjawab untuk bersama-sama menjaga keluarga.

Anak lelaki dibiarkan berada didalam bilik bermain komputer mahupun telefon pintar yang membodokan manusia (smartphone, dumbpeople). Mereka sudah tidak ada aktiviti yang boleh membuatkan mereka berfikir dan bertindak sebagai "gentlemen".

Adakah mereka belajar ilmu-ilmu asas seperti pendawaian, pertukangan dan berkebun? Mungkin ada, tetapi jarang-jarang dapat kita jumpa.

Lalu, aktiviti manakah yang tinggal buat anak-anak lelaki menanamkan rasa tanggungjawab mereka terhadap keluarga sedari kecil?

Bahkan untuk menebang pokok juga dilakukan adik perempuan dan kakak-kakak mereka. (berdasarkan kisah benar... Oh termasuk buang sampah).

Ada sesetengah anak lelaki yang bagus dan terlibat dalam aktiviti-aktiviti kemasyarakatan seperti membantu di masjid dan surau mahupun JKKK. Inilah anatara sikap terpuji yang saya lihat masih ada dalam generasi anak muda lelaki. Cuma, kalau mahu melihat mereka membantu di dapur sendiri itu payah sekali. Bukankah rumah itu tanggungjawab bersama.

Ada juga anak lelaki yang sibuk mendalami ilmu agama. Tetapi agama itukan adalah melalui pembuktian. Bagaimana agama boleh menjadikan seorang lelaki "malu" atau "malas" untuk berada di dapur? Tanamkan dalam diri anak-anak bahawa ini semua adalah common sense. Supaya mereka tidak rasa "pelik".

Kesimpulannya

Bukan niat saya untuk membuat anak-anak perempuan "kurang" bekerja tetapi saya ingin melihat anak-anak lelaki ada mentaliti bahawa "rumah ini rumah kita". Saya percaya sikap ini akan mencambahkan "accountability" atau sikap kebertanggung jawaban dalam diri mereka.

Benarkan anak-anak lelaki membantu didapur, menyapu sampah dan sebagainya. Sehari satu "kerja" pun sudah cukup bagus. Jangan biarkan mereka menjadi "Tuan Besar" atau "Boss". Biar mereka merasa bagaimana menguruskan rumah tangga. Biar mereka rasa bertanggungjawab pada keluarga. Mulakan dengan perkara remeh temeh seperti bersama-sama mengemas rumah. Kemudian teruskan dengan perkara-perkara yang lebih besar. Seiringan.

Saya yakin anak perempuan kebanyakannya tidak kisah jika mereka harus melakukan semua kerja rumah kerana bagi mereka itu urusan yang mudah.

Charity begins at home.

Walaupun cadangan saya ini terlalu remeh, tetapi saya kira perkara-perkara kecil sebegini boleh menghasilkan impak yang besar dalam jati diri anak muda lelaki.

Sekian

Maafkan kesilapan saya dalam memberi pandangan.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Andainya

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 27 Jun 2015 02:15:00 +0000

Andainya benar

Biar Dia beri petunjuk

Pasrah dan redha

Kerana kau katakan

Semuanya kerana agama

Tapi andainya bukan

Biarkan ia pergi

Bolehjadi engkau menyukai sesuatu padahal ia tidak baik bagimu. Bolehjadi engkau membenci sesuatu padahal ia baik bagimu