It all started with a bad date and seven years after typing my first line “I am fed up with men, and quite frankly, I’m actually a bit fed up with myself”, I’m still going strong and have managed to turn my prior bad taste in men, my observations on relationships, and getting knocked up a couple of times into a career.

Blogging was still ‘new’ back then, even though it had been around a few years and you literally only had the option of commenting on one another’s blogs and signing up to various directories (remember those?!). Now you have Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and far too many things to speak of plus it’s very ‘dramatic’ with Dynasty levels of drama coming in swings and roundabouts.

And yet I still love blogging. Really. OK while there are some days when it gets a bit Samuel L Jackson in here with prolific use of the ‘m’ word, I wouldn’t be doing anything else, although I could do with some more time on my hands.

As it’s my anniversary, I felt it couldn’t pass by without sharing my thoughts on some lessons I’ve learned that keep me sane and on the straight and narrow so I can continue doing what I enjoy – writing, sharing, creating, and connecting.

1. I live by the I Don’t Give a Eff principle and it keeps me out of a lot of trouble and ensures that I don’t internalise other people’s drama. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about anything or anyone, but what I don’t lose sleep over is trying to get ‘everyone’ to like me, trying to fit into stupid stereotypes or cliques, or courting the opinions of all and sundry because I would go mad. Between motherhood and blogging, everyone from the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker has something to say – hold onto the useful, productive stuff and bade farewell to the rest of the noise.

2. You are what you are, not what you tell me you are. Let your actions do the talking and make sure they match with what you say. Online there’s a lot of people with Those Who Doth Protest Too Much syndrome and I’ve always believed that you don’t need to keep telling people you’re the cleverest/nicest/sexiest/best/whatever – just be yourself. We live in a time of competitive meanness, competitive posturing, competitive everything. Show it, don’t spray it.

3. Those who can, get on with it, and those who can’t make a lot of noise policing you and telling you how they’d be better than you. This is why I love the internet because never has it been easier to make things happen instead of talking about making it happen but not. I hear from a lot of people who get quite worn down with having their arses ridden like Zorro by other people’s opinions – don’t give them your back to hop on.

4. Write what you want to write. I’m still doing that and every time I’ve deviated or got distracted by other people, it’s led to frustration. Trying to compete with everyone is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. There will always be people doing things differently to you or people with a different idea of what they think you should be doing. It doesn’t matter. Dance to the beat of your own drum because it’s a lot easier to distinguish yourself and remain authentic. You are what makes you you. There’s no fun in being someone else.

5. The sky won’t fall down and the world will keep turning if you don’t post. Honestly, this is a lesson I’ve learned a number of times over the years and it’ll surprise you when not only do you feel more relaxed, but you generate the same or even better results for a fraction of the effort and stress. While it’s good to have a rhythm, locking yourself into a rigid schedule or high post volume is super stressful.

6. Disagreement can be useful. That’s of course unless it’s a personal attack. I sometimes get inspired by differing opinions plus it makes for a more interesting dialogue. I’ve also found that even when people actually criticise you, it can spark your mojo – basically don’t let it knock you down. That said, take it from someone who has had a stalker and seen how some people don’t know how to wind their neck in online – don’t engage with people that overstep your boundaries and get personal. Also don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say directly to someone’s face.

7. Exhale, embrace, enjoy. Blogging in itself is thoroughly enjoyable and has connected me with thousands of people all over the world and given me some wonderful friends that I hang out with regularly in real life and are incredibly supportive and downright funny. I’d like to think we’d have met somehow even without blogging, but we probably wouldn’t have. You can make this blogging journey whatever you want it to be, but have fun, carve out your own opportunities, don’t follow the herd, and stop when it feels like a pain in the arse. And if you do want to pursue making a living from blogging, don’t hold yourself back.

I’m very privileged to work with some wonderful public relations organisations. They are professional, great communicators, they work hard for their clients, are personable, take the time to know my blog(s), have made an effort to know me personally, and consistently present relevant, targeted, often tailored ‘news’ about their clients.

Having worked in media on and off since I was 18 in a variety of roles, I know PR peeps get a lot of flack both rightly and wrongly. As a full time blogger, when I have witnessed my counterparts lamenting their approaches from PR’s, I’ve often defended and have consistently stated that it is the job of both the public relations organisations and bloggers to ensure that relationships and how approaches are made are managed effectively.

On one of my blogs, I’ve written a ‘what we like‘, a FAQ, and often take the time to respond to approaches and steer them in the right direction. Short of doing their frickin’ job, you would think that would be enough.

Over the last few months, one particular agency has done nothing short of spam me with highly irrelevant press releases, sometimes loaded with cumbersome attachments that cause my inbox to become constipated. Generally speaking, I hit delete for anything I receive that isn’t of interest unless I know them personally or feel that I can direct them to something or someone more relevant. But this particular agency has managed to get a hold of three of my email addresses which means I receive their emails at least three times per blast and then they just keep repeating. On over ten occasions, I have asked them to remove two of the emails and have advised them why whatever they’ve sent isn’t relevant, with guidelines about what I would be interested in. Still, they ignore me. I politely bollocked them a couple of weeks ago with promises quickly received stating that they’d sort it out. Still my inbox continues to fill up.

This morning I received Yet Another Shite Press Release that was so inappropriate for a blog that features cool stuff for kids under the age of 5 and their discerning parents that I saw red and I’ve asked them to remove me from their lists.

If all you ever send me is irrelevant press releases, I consider you irrelevant.

If you occasionally send me relevant press releases but by and large send me a load of guff, I consider you lazy and occasionally in luck.

If you consistently send me relevant press releases with even the occasional irrelevant, I consider you a professional public relations organisation that’s working hard for your clients.

Yes I can and do hit delete, but I receive thousands of emails every week and quite frankly, it’s overwhelming at times especially when certain numpties send me the same mail several times!

Public relations organisations that continue to have an approach of throwing as much shit at a wall as they can to see if it sticks, are aside from doing themselves a disservice, being incredibly disrespectful to their clients. You are effectively taking their money and peeing all over it and then taking a match to it while doing a jig.

You’re also doing a disservice to every PR organisation that actually gives a damn. And there are plenty.

In an economic climate where many companies have cut their budgets, say that they can’t afford to advertise and many media companies are struggling, it is galling to see PR agencies waste time and money that quite frankly could be better spent elsewhere.

A certain organisation that claims to be a source of media lists emails me ‘indiscriminately’ every few days with email addresses that they’ve harvested from God knows where. I pity the organisations that buy their lists…

Another heavyweight media organisation sends emails with ‘info@’ ‘sales@’ ‘customerservices@’ – these are made up email addresses!

“Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast media, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately.” source Wikipedia

What some PR organisations are engaging in is spam. Seriously. The shady ones that persist in sending out press releases and emails where they pretend they’ve read your blog, are sending these out indiscriminately.

What some PR organisations are doing is the equivalent of those people who send out Viagra and penis enlargement emails! Most of your emails will be ignored but you might get some takers….Have some shame! Surely you’re better than low-rent emails!

I’m not your frigging lackey!

I’m not here to parrot your highly irrelevant emails and turn them into highly irrelevant blog posts!

No I don’t want to tell my readers about your competition/initiative or effectively advertise your client for free.

If I didn’t reply after you sent the press release to me ten times, why are you chasing me up? The silence says NO.

There is a reason why only 5% of the content on one of my blogs has been triggered by news from a PR – because most emails I receive do not answer the question of why I should write about it/why I should give a damn.

It’s not ‘news’ because your client burped or farted today. Most blogs don’t want to update their readers on the minutiae of your clients businesses.

If you can’t answer the question of why the hell a publication’s readers should be interested in what you have to say, I would hold that thought and resist pressing send.

Considering how much money some of these dubious agencies receive, it’s about time you started doing a Donna Summer and working hard for the money!

If the best you can do is send highly irrelevant emails, often forgetting to BCC and often being too tight and lazy to use a proper email newsletter service (I recommend Mad Mimi incidentally) because you’re afraid that if you use a proper service you’d actually have to admit that the email addresses were ill gotten gains, you may as well start planning for the death of your PR organation because clients will become tired of paying you to throw shit at a wall to see if it sticks.

I keep hearing about how bloggers are influential (and they often are) but that doesn’t mean that we’re now billboards for whatever tosh you want to put out. Have some respect, not just for us, but also for your clients and your industry and stop peddling viagra dressed as your latest news release.

When I was 19 and still living in Dublin, I worked on reception and assisted the marketing department during the summer. There was no internet back then and they had this room just stuffed full of prizes (it was amazing) and winners would rock up and be all antsy about getting their prize. I remember one woman damn well near losing her mind as I had to turn the room upside down looking for…a disposable razor and shaving set. The whole time I was hunting for it and she was mouthing off at me, I just couldn’t fathom why she was losing her mind over it! Afterwards other staff told me that she entered every competition!

Many years on and after working in magazines for a few years and seeing people lose their minds over prizes like a packet of CD Roms, to listening to clients trying to wheedle coverage through competitions and expecting the earth, to pr agencies buggering up the clients ad schedule because now that they’ve got a full page competition they’ve convinced the client they don’t need an ad, to running my own competitions and getting it from all sides, I’m still left wondering: what’s the real value in competitions?

For me, competitions ended up being part of an accidental growth strategy. Just over two years ago, I worked with a couple of key PR agencies and a number of retailers and regularly ran competitions. Traffic grew very fast and to be fair, there are quite a few people who are still regular readers that originally discovered as a result of a competition.

But what I also acquired was a shedload of competition hunters who come via sites like Moneysupermarket and have email addresses, typically at Hotmail and Yahoo that say stuff like ‘beckycomps’ because obviously someone advised these people to set up an email address specifically for comps so that all of the email newsletters that they no doubt signed up for to enter the competition get directed to that email address and don’t ‘disturb’ their normal life. They can scan the headlines in their inbox for prizes, enter even if they don’t want it because they can always sell it on eBay, and then delete.

Last summer response began to tail off for competitions and as every Jo, Bessy, and Fanny in the blogosphere started running competitions, the effect was a general dilution of impact. In fact everyone seemed to be running comps and it gave me the perfect excuse to run with my gut and stop doing competitions. I also did a search for the term ‘comp’ as well as ‘prize’ and ‘win’ and removed all of these people from the mailing list. These people are a pain in the bum subscribing and unsubscribing, and marking you as spam because they’re too lazy to press unsubscribe.

Much like how advertising on TV became really fragmented due to a wealth of channels available, competitions exclusivity and impact has become increasingly fragmented to the point where I would say that in some instances, competitions really can cheapen your brand and change people’s perception of you.

The worst thing is that the people who run competitions have become so focused on gaining more followers, having more ‘fans’, having more people on their list, getting more comments etc, that the people who really miss out are your existing readership.

Most of these transient competition entrants don’t engage or stick around – are we so desperate for the online equivalent of a quick lay? Feels good up in the run to it, starts feeling a bit icky half way through, over very quickly, left wondering why the hell you bothered, great expectations aren’t met, someone might even scuttle off very quickly afterwards and pretend it didn’t happen. One may even forget to call and thank you for your hospitality…

The only reason why I will now run a competition is to reward loyal and existing readers.There are various other means of attracting new and loyal readers and when they do become this, they of course may benefit from the competitions.

I’m happy to have fewer engaged loyal readers than I am to have more transient, fickle, unengaged readers.

The problem is both the responsibility of the publisher (eg. the blogger) and the client/agency.

In whose interest is it to run the same competition across multiple blogs in a small pool? Why the hell do I want to read several blogs in the same sphere and read variations of the same competition again and again? I don’t even want to do that with reviews!

What has happened to bespoke opportunities? Whatever happened to being proactive and working with small, independent retailers, designers, or PR’s and coming up with something that is tailored to your audience and or your blog?

Why do independent online publishers, ie. bloggers let big brands hijack their blogs and give away prizes that even a small magazine or newspaper wouldn’t sniff at?

Why are people letting clients and agencies drink the milk for free and then wondering why they won’t buy the cow?

One thing that hasn’t changed since my days of working on a magazine is this: even though they probably won’t admit it, running a competition is cheap coverage for the client that doesn’t involve them putting their hand in their pocket.

Oh sure they’ll say ‘The product costs us money’. Whatever. While it does, mentally they don’t attach the same value as they do to putting their hand in their pocket.

Let’s not forget the big word: margin. When you ‘advertise’ (and it isadvertising) their product in the full page ad that is the competition, the cost to the client was not the prize value.

Something that you’re saying is worth, for example, £120, street value is that, but the client value might be £30! Shazam! They don’t write that product off at its retail value – it’s at cost.

Even our own editorial at the magazine had to admit that the attitude of clients and agencies about competitions is of cheap coverage that undermines the bottom line.

When you think about it: the net amount of readers that stick around, is it worth the time and energy putting together the competition and giving them what is effectively that free ‘one page ad’ that they wouldn’t dream of putting their hand in their pocket for?

The funny thing is that one of the chief reasons why I decided to run only occasional competitions or stuff focused on existing readers is: I’ve entered about five competitions in my entire life.

I am my reader. If I don’t enter competitions and they don’t spark interest and excitement in me – isn’t it safe to say that it’s possible the very same readership I created around my attitude and mindset might be very much the same?

Maybe it’s time that we all get to at least understand our own blogs and audiences and do what adds value for ourselves and for the readers because if you’re not adding real medium to long-term value with your competition activities, you probably shouldn’t bother as you’ll alienate readers in the short-term who expect better from you than trying to get a quick ‘legover’ that may again soothe your ego in the short-term but it won’t go much beyond that.

In the six or so years that I’ve been blogging, so much has changed and while the expectations from people about what they should get for free has risen causing many a blogger to question how much their content is valued, at the same time an increasing amount of bloggers successfully generate revenue from their content – I’m one of those people.

Back when I started blogging, people said there was no money in it and I still hear naysayers say stuff like this even though there are many thousands of living examples that contradict that vision. I’ve also heard people say that there’s no revenue in email newsletters and that the value is in the list and it being responsive giving you the ability to have more of your content read, which increases your traffic and engagement, but also gives you the opportunity to sell to that list.

But it seems that there ispotential revenue in email newsletters in the form of paid subscriptions with services like Letter.ly stepping up and having over 600 paid email subscriptions on their service. Obviously we’re not to know how much money is being generated with each subscription, but to be fair, if you were writing that content for free and not generating revenue, you’re quids in!

It takes a lot of work to write and as someone who runs several email newsletter lists, it takes a hell of a lot of effort to craft content for these…or at least it does for me. What would scare me with a paid subscription is if the content was sh*te! Trust me, I have seen some awful email newsletters that promise the sun, moon, and stars, and deliver zero value and erode the credibility of the author. By the same token, I know people who work hard at their content that with the right angle could actually benefit from a service like Letter.ly.

I saw that for example, someone is charging $2/mth for their email newsletter. Imagine if you had, let’s say 500 paying subscribers – that’s $1000 a month, recurring. Not to be sniffed at.

Payments are done through Amazon, you can still give away subscriptions plus you can let them have a certain amount of free emails, and you can ‘cash out’ when you’re ready. They can also comment privately.

Personally I think this is rather cool and I actually think I may give it a go….

Since I’ve started working for myself, I have become obsessed with my productivity probably because I’m convinced that I could do more, if only I didn’t fanny away time messing with emails, hanging with my peeps on Twitter and Facebook (in the name of work of course) and trawling through Google Reader. Working from home means there is always opportunities to be distracted, because the boyf will phone up and ask if I took something out the freezer or to turn the hose on, or the washing machine needs emptying and next thing you know, an hour has vanished. Likewise I do chores and then pass my iPad or iPhone and feel inclined to check them.

Cue TenPlusTwo, an app I’m trying out on the iPhone which has been inspired by the (10+2)*5 hack by productivity guru Merlin Mack. Basically you work for ten minutes, then you hear a ping, and you play for two minutes, then another PING, then work, then ping and basically do it five times. Next thing you know, an hour has gone by, you haven’t procrastinated, and you’ve actually achieved something.

Only shocking thing is that two minutes is actually a very short period of time, which explains why each time I’ve told myself in the past that it’d take two minutes, the time just spiralled.

59p on iTunes. You can of course just set a timer but you know I love my gadgetry removing the legwork!

I am near obsessive about finding the perfect todo app and was overjoyed when I discovered TeuxDeux a few months back, a simple, beautifully designed productivity app that manages your tasks in the manner in which I would write them on a calendar or notebook. No bells and whistles that I don’t use anyway. If you don’t do the task, they just move to the following day. You can also move them about and of course delete or mark them off plus for stuff that doesn’t belong to a date specifically, you can put it in ‘Someday’. The one thing I cursed them for was not being available for the iPhone, iPad etc and basically only being available through your web browser which wasn’t too bad on the iPad but a pain in the bum on the iPhone.

I don’t have to curse them any longer and order is restored. £1.79

I’m super excited to be guest mentoring for my friend Cate Sevilla who has undertaken the proactive venture of launching Oh My Blog Workshop, cool seminars focused around topics that empower both professional and hobbyist bloggers based in London to make the most out of their blogs.

The debut workshop Stellar Content and The Dark Side of Blogging will be led by Cate who will focus on the Stellar Content aspect which is about bringing “focus, direction, and ingenious creativity to your blog” with advice on how to strike a balance between writing about what you love and keeping your audience happy, to what can prove to be the tricky issue of integrating content like press trips and product reviews.

I’ll spend the latter 45 minutes talking about the (adopts Darth Vadar voice) the ‘dark side’ that we can face as bloggers. If it was as simple as developing a thicker skin, we’d all be doing it and so I’ll be talking about handling competition, especially when it gets petty, negative comments and trolls, online harassment, IP theft, and Intellectual Property.

I’ve been reminded this week about how no matter how long you blog for (I’m at it over six years now), you can still get caught out by online nastiness. In bed feeling unwell, I checked my phone just before going to sleep and was blindsided by a nasty email with nasty statements and accusations. The rational side knew what they were saying was a load of bollox, but when you’ve already experienced harassment, much like anyone who experiences a crime, you can’t help but wonder if it’s ‘Here we go again’ time.

With my previous experiences (I’ve been seriously harassed with all sorts of rubbish written including racist stuff), I felt a bit ‘shook’ but tried to push it out of my mind. However I woke up in the night due to a strange sound and immediately my mind was flooded with the words from the email and my mind meandered around wondering how best to deal with it. A few hours later with a bit more sleep in me, I sent a calm, polite, intelligent response that gave no hint that I had picked up the nastiness. It worked and they backed off.

I have learned how to deal with inappropriate people online…through experience, although hopefully I can spare a few of you from learning the hard way and help you minimise the amount of time you spend worrying about or dealing with issues.

There were 25 spots, but we’ve already only got 9 at the time of writing this, left – woop!

When: Thursday, September 23, 2010, 19:00 – 20:45

Where: TechHub, Ground Floor, 76-80 City Road, EC1Y 2BJ

Closest Tube: Old Street, exit 5

Tickets: £15, includes refreshments, 25 spots available

Jaysus well my vow to blog more got scuppered by me spending the first week of being 33 ill – boooo hiss! But I’m back now and as I get asked all the time about all the different software and tools that I use as a full time blogger, I’ve put together a list. I choose well designed, simple, intutive products that make my life easier and save time. I write and publish several blogs as well as ebooks, manage several Twitter accounts, Facebook, work privately with readers on Baggage Reclaim, am constantly on the lookout for cool stuff and ideas and inspiration, and in between all that I have two kids, a cleaner off sick, a childminder on holiday and an and off nightmare with vertigo, so if I find something that ticks my boxes, I love it to death. If I didn’t use these applications and tools to manage my business, I’d probably implode!

Blogging: WordPress (free) - I started out on Blogger (don’t a lot of people) back in 2004 but moved over to WordPress in 2005. At first it scared the crap out of me but it’s actually quite easy to use, has a ton of flexibility, and the plugins are fantastic. I also use it on my iPhone and iPad for editing on the fly – if you’re using it on the iPad use PhotoPad for screengrabbing images and editing them so that they can go into posts.

Also: Posterous (free) - For quick posting and easy blogging, especially if you’re scared of what blogging entails, you don’t even need to set up yourself – just email them and next thing you know you’ve got a blog and login details.

Also: Typepad (paid) – I’ve been using this for one blog for years. I think of it as the halfway house between Blogger and WordPress. Looks nicer than the former though but not as flexible as the latter.

Ecto (Mac) (paid) – I very rarely post to my WordPress blogs from the web unless I am desperate. This is a desktop app which I would call pure genius but it is prone to occasional quirkiness. Saying that though, I have been using it for three years and still highly recommend it. Don’t waste your time with the PC version which is highly unpredictable.

Also: Mars Edit (Mac) (paid) – The alternative to Ecto, this is my backup simply because I still have to go online to WordPress and edit links because it just does the basic html for the link (not the open on a new page and learning it) – very odd.

Also: Google Docs (free) – Not only great for working on documents online – it has a spreadsheet, ‘Word’ like, and presentation online based applications that can be shared with other people and collaborated on. Great for storaging simple documents and working on group projects, such as team blogging where you may want to collab on a list of ideas for posts. Before anyone asks, I am aware of the existence of the likes of Huddle but they just don’t ‘do’ it for me.

Also: Pages for iPad (paid) – One of my favourite purchases, I wrote a mini ebook on this a few weeks ago. Think of it as the Macs answer to Word and it’s a steal at £5.99. I do find it very odd that it doesn’t have a Word count. I also use it with Dropbox (see below) and open up Word documents on it. The whole working on doc’s is not as fluid as I’d like but basically I email it back to myself when I’m done, open on the laptop and when I’m done, I save it back to Dropbox.

Note taking: Evernote (free) – I cannot say enough good things about what I regard as my brain stored online, on my desktop, iPhone and iPad plus it’s also supported on other phones. Clip stuff on the web, take voice notes, put drafts of anything, email it stuff of interest, organise into notebooks, and basically never ever forget anything or run out inspiration again.

Invoicing and expenses management: Freshbooks (paid) – So simple and yet so good, basically do your invoicing online and email over a PDF of it. They can also login, pay via Paypal etc plus you can send estimates to clients (or receive them) and I also put expenses in on the fly when I’m out and about via the iPhone app.

Email Marketing: Mad Mimi (paid) – I’ve tried out several email marketing services and most of them make me want to scream and are ugly, causing me to shy away from doing any email. This has changed with using online based Mad Mimi. Intuitive, it has drag and drop with images and the email sections, easy to use, I can do autoresponder campaigns (like dripfeeding a series of emails), it’s got great tracking, and all sorts, with the major draw being that it’s based on the number of people in your list, not how many emails you send. Very good value and customer service when I balls up stuff is excellent. If they had better blog to RSS, I’d call them perfect.

Also: Feedblitz (from free) – For automated emails that go out to people who subscribe to be notified of when you update your blog, this is great although it has it’s quirk and it’s not the greatest looking thing. Stuff like cracking the time (I’ve had to set my timezone to somewhere obscure to make emails go out at the time I want) is a pain in the bum. Basically it’s good but lacks finesses. If you’re on Feedburner, your Feedblitz readers show up in your reader numbers.

RSS Reader: Google Reader: Jaysus I love this RSS reader although I had to bite the bullet and mark as read over 3000 feeds last weekend as I got behind. I love reading shared items from @that_kat @violetposy and @chrisbrogan. Brilliant for keeping track of trends and staying on top of what’s happening in marketing and blogging.

Also: MobileRSS (free) for the iPhone - hooks up to Google Reader account. Great for sharing on Twitter, Facebook etc on the fly.

Also: Newsrack (paid) for the iPad – This does seem to be the most popular reader but until this week I cursed it for being crap with shared items but it’s fixed that now.

Also: Reeder (paid) for the iPad - Can you tell I’ve slinked around trying to find an RSS reader for the iPad? This readers is simple and quite lovely looking but does seem to crash out when you flick through feeds.

To Do List: Teuxdeux (free) - Really simple, fresh, well designed online to-do list management that looks just how I’d write mine out. I’d love it more if it hurried up and had an iPhone and iPad app because I’m a bit high and dry at the moment as I haven’t found anything I like that works across all three fluidly.

Also: Sorted for iPad (paid) - This is cheap as chips at 59p and has a simple interface like Teuxdeux and I use it for keeping very detailed lists – my own version of project management…

Mindmapping: Mindnode (paid) – I use the paid for app on my iPad and it’s simple and well executed and great for organising my ideas, especially when working out all the different elements of a site, ebook etc.

Digital Download Processing and Management: E-junkie (paid) – I’ve been selling ebooks for 2.5 years and they are a major source of revenue. E-junkie makes it very easy to do and it costs me less than $5 a month. It hosts your digital goods, has an affiliate management scheme, bookshop, is hooked up to Paypal, Google checkout etc and I rarely have any issue with it.

Online Backup: Dropbox (free) – I LOVE Dropbox which has given me an unbelievable amount of flexbility especially now that I have an iPad. Aside from backing up lots of stuff, I save stuff I’m working on so that I can pick it up on my iPad but it’s greatest use is storing my sh*tload of ebooks that I’m reading!

File Reading App: Goodreader for iPad (paid) – This baby works in tandem with Dropbox and makes all of my files/ebooks a dream to read.

Social Networking Management: Hootsuite (free) - I manage all of my Twitter accounts and Facebook pages out of this and particularly love it for letting me schedule up tweets and the option of inviting team members. The only thing I won’t recommend it for is team members for Facebook Pages as it has quirks there that haven’t been ironed out.

Also: Twuffer (free) - Another online based scheduler for Tweets – this is pretty much all it does.

Also: Manage Flitter (free) - Clean looking, well designed tool that let’s you manage your Twitter account by telling you who you follow that doesn’t follow you back, inactive followers, and letting you clean up your account. It also lets you search your stream, something that’s a nightmare to do otherwise.

Also: Echofon Pro for iPhone and iPad (paid) – Even though this doesn’t let me schedule tweets, this is by far the best I’ve tried so far, particularly for the iPad where decent Twitter (and Facebook) apps are thin on the ground.

Image Editing: Skitch (Mac) (free) – Even though it doesn’t have stuff like layers, I am heavily reliant on this app, using it for quick editing of images and taking screengrabs (you can also use it for making video demos)

Ebook cover software: Boxshot (paid) – If you’re publishing digital content, this makes for a snazzy ‘box shot’ or book shot – basically totally lifts your, for example, ebook cover out of the doldrums giving it a 3D effect and having it look like a book. Well worth the money if you’re selling digital content.

iMovie (Mac) – I use this probably because I have not go the energy to try to find something simpler – it’s been a steep learning curve bloody making and editing videos for Baggage Reclaim’s video channel. There’s exporting from my Flip video, importing it, adding in titles which is why I have 17 videos awaiting my attention. But with a bit of practice, it does get easier to use. Obviously I welcome any recommendations!

FTP Client: Transmit (paid) - Been using it for a few years and it’s simple and intutive to use, making the whole putting files on the server, setting up new sites a doddle. They do a free trial as well.

Skype: I mostly use this for doing consultations and it probably saves me a fortune on my phonebill as well. I pay for extras like a voicemail and generally use it for international calls as well as Skype to Skype. Also great for conference calls.

Stats: Statcounter - I’ve been using this since the day I started. I also use Google analytics although note that external software tends to be inaccurate because users have stuff that may block cookies from being recorded. If like me, you’re self-hosted, you’ll start to see some big discrepencies the bigger you get. They are great for trends though.

This was originally published over on my Posterous

Modern business is becoming quite different to business of old and what’s happening is that there is more of a collaborative atmosphere rather than losing your mind over competition and protecting your patch. Don’t be afraid of the Big Bad Wolf of Competition – embrace it and turn it into a positive where you reap the benefit by collaborating. This is still quite a difficult thing for the average small business owner to contend with, especially when you’re worried about money or scared of giving away a piece of the proverbial pie.

Collaboration basically means working together with at least one other party with the idea being that it works in both of your favours and your joint efforts reap rewards for both of your greater goods.

While it is easy to be afraid of giving away a piece of the pie, collaboration is extremely effective (when you choose to work with the right people) because if you don’t have the actual means to make ‘the pie’, then you’re worrying about giving away a percentage of nothing (or very little).

When you collaborate, you have the opportunity achieve a lot more, because you can create a bigger pie so your share is potentially bigger than it would have been if you had waited around on you to find the right time, energy, or shrunken todo list.

The reality is this: I have a lot of things I want/need to do, but I am only one person with a busy business, two kids, house, and yada yada yada. If I have an idea these days, I recognise that I cannot do it on my own and I partner and collaborate with appropriate people.

You can:

Share resources. Particularly in a world of Dropbox, Evernote, and so much online based software, this not only allows you to work together in a more effective manner, but potentially, you can save money too.

Pool your talent. You’re likely to be able to achieve something in a shorter period of time by working with someone else, plus you each get to play to your strengths for the greater good of the project so you can both apply your energies in the right direction.

Gain access to opportunities, markets that may have taken you longer if you were riding solo. If you’re in one market and they’re in another, and you both want to vice versa it up, this is a mutually beneficial, win:win situation.

You can be supportive to one another. Over the years, I have a few people I know that I can bounce ideas off, have a mega moaning session to, or…collaborate with. If you’re an idea generator, you’ll discover the more ideas you have, the harder it is to get them up off the ground and sustained. Collaborating will help you do that but it’s also great to work with someone who potentially understands where you’re coming from.

Marketing. Between linking to one another, cross promoting, guest posting on one another’s blogs, taking advantage of social networking opportunities, you can give each other a major boost.

Make Money. The big one. Imagine you have an idea but in reality, on your own, it’s not going to get very far or it may take a year or so to happen with your current schedule and kids nipping at your heels. Then you chat to likeminded peep, and discover they have similar ideas, lack of time, but you discover the synergy between your ideas and come up with one idea and it’s out on the market two months later making money – I’d call that a result.

I’ll be back with some more posts about collaboration including working out who to collaborate with and who to avoid like the plague, plus stuff you need to consider.

Photo Credit - Kat Housewife Confidential

I’m very fortunate to have some really good friends on and offline in my life, some who go back a really long way. When I had my first daughter, I had a really unpleasant experience at a NCT meetup that served as a reminder of the fact that much as I loved school, I don’t miss the schoolgirl mentality and over the past year, I’ve felt like that about a lot of the friction I’ve witnessed online particularly within my own community of ‘mummy bloggers’. So I admit to feeling a bit wary and cautious about what Saturday 3rd July would bring when I attended and spoke at Cybermummy, the UK’s first conference for blogging mums.

Much like when I had an absolute blast at a Mums The Boss networking meetup in May, while I can’t claim to personally have learned anything about blogging from the day (I think I’ve been at it for too long), I’ve come away with a wonderful sense of perspective but more importantly, a reminder of the joys of sisterhood. Oh my goodness – yes it still does exist! Actually, I’ve always believed it does but it’s easy not to see too much of it online. I did a lot of giggling and dirty laughing on Saturday!

I spoke about and moderated on the panel about the tricky business of making money from your blog and judging by the amount of people who came over to me or got in touch afterwards, working with brands and/or making money from blogging is something that a lot of blogging mums want to know more about! Sadly, I only got to speak for five minutes but I will be endeavouring to share as much of my knowledge as possible because much like when I talk about dating and relationships, I think it’s so important for us to feel empowered to create our own opportunities.

What I did learn about on the day, other than sisterhood and the demand for more information on blogging as a career, was about experiences. From listening to panelists talk about good content, to wondering if I’d got something in my eye when I listened to fellow bloggers read their incredibly moving blog posts out to the audience in the keynote section, I got a wonderful window into lots of peoples lives and witnessed friendship, support, and collaboration in action. That said, I see it hasn’t taken too long for an oestrogen hangover to kick in as the friction I felt before Cybermummy seems to be starting again. Anyway!

What Cybermummy does need is more detail and practical – people are gagging for tools and tips to apply to their blogs. Actually I reckon it could be a two day event. The great thing is that it’s happened and no doubt another will follow.

A massive well done to Sian, Susanna, and Jenny for organising a great day and an even bigger thank you for having me blabber on for a few minutes!

For a quick(ish) recap of some of my key points on working with brands and making money from your blog, check out my latest post on my personal blog.