Totally innocent and totally dependent on me — my baby had no say in being there, and yet I felt upset about it. Hopeless, even, over the gift of a baby! It took me awhile and a lot of work to let go of feelings of gender disappointment. The last article in this series covered what gender disappointment is and some of the reasons it may happen. This article will cover how to deal with it.

Realize Why You’re Mourning

I’m not a fan of the deep analysis of depression. It tends to leave you feeling even worse to think about why you feel so horrible! But sometimes it’s good to understand some of the root causes, and I think this is important with gender disappointment.

In general, moms are not directly upset about the gender of the baby they’re getting. They’re more upset about letting go of the dream of the gender that they wanted. Sometimes moms are scared of a certain gender (of instance if an abuse situation occurred with a person of one gender, they may be worried about having a baby of that gender). But much of the time, your desire is for a baby of the opposite gender.

It’s okay to mourn a dream that’s not going to happen (or that’s being put on hold). You’ll make yourself feel worse if you get too guilty about it. Just accept the feelings — don’t beat yourself up.

Practical Steps

There are practical things you can do. First, when you’re depressed about anything during pregnancy, it’s much harder to take care of yourself. Since pregnancy presents amazing nutritional stress even when life is good, it’s easy to fall behind when things are challenging.

This has even deeper consequences as you start to feel guilty for not taking care of your baby as you feel you should.

So the first step to take is to pick a prenatal diet plan and stick to it. Eat what and when it says to eat. It may help to use a checklist or chart to keep track of your diet.

When you’re eating right you have a lot more energy to cope with hard days and hard feelings — plus you know you’re giving your baby what he or she needs.

Don’t Tell

You may have already told people what your baby’s gender is, but if it will help you not to, you don’t have to tell anybody. I know that it has helped me in a couple of pregnancies to keep my baby’s gender a secret, even though I knew it.

Just like names, your baby’s gender is nobody’s business but yours, so keep it to yourself if you need to.

This is usually because you don’t want to hear comments. Comments can be cruel: “Oh, you’re having another…” or “aren’t you so thrilled you’re having a…” (when you’re really not). People say and assume things without thinking. Sometimes keeping baby gender to yourself helps ease these comments.

And if you do tell, or get the comments regardless, just remember that you can smile and say you’re thankful for a healthy baby. Then change the subject to something else.

You’re far less likely to get comments after your baby is born… and at that point you’ll feel better because you’re holding your sweet baby, anyways.

Pick a Name You Love

Picking a name can be depressing when you’re dealing with gender disappointment, especially if you feel like you’ve used all the “good names” you had for that gender.

Don’t despair! Go through baby names and pick a name you truly love. I think this is one thing that really helped me. We picked a name and I really, really loved it! Even when I was struggling, I could think of this name and it helped.

Get Support

If you can, talk to somebody in real life. My midwife was great to talk to. She’s seen gender disappointment of all shapes, colors, and sizes and was able to listen with no judgment — just acceptance and solid suggestions for my fears.

If you don’t have anyone close by that will listen with compassion (and it can be hard to find), there are still places you can get support online. There are forums where you can find moms who have experienced and overcome gender disappointment. It’s very helpful to have somewhere to share openly and honestly.

Pick What You Like

When shopping you don’t have to go with pink or blue! Choose gender neutral shades if it helps you. Pick a baby carrier in your favorite color.

Don’t worry about going into the stores to shop if seeing the baby boy and baby girl sections hurts. Order baby things via catalog or online.

If you’re having a shower, again, you can ask for neutral things. You dress your baby and decorate for your baby with what you like. You don’t have to go by the stereotypes if you don’t want to!

Again, Take Care

I think one of the best ways to help with gender disappointment is to take care of yourself. Then you’re also nurturing your baby and can feel good about that. I found that eating well, as well as taking some time for prenatal yoga, helped me a lot. Even though I felt I had a hard time bonding with my baby during pregnancy, prenatal yoga was a time for me to focus on and pray for my baby, which helped me a lot — and helped me feel more connected.

If possible, plan a birth experience that will be natural and nurturing. This will let all the “mothering hormones” flow as they should, which will give your bonding a kick-start as soon as your baby is in arms.

Or, if you know you’ll need a lot of medical management for birth, opt to have help when you come home with your baby — this will give you a chance to relax and get to know your little one while somebody else takes care of the house and meals.

Regardless of how you feel now, remember you will love your baby. Sometimes love isn’t instantaneous, even for babies we desperately want. Pregnancy and parenting can be challenging. Know that you can always find support (hey, write me if you need to!), and know that can take care of your baby, even if sometimes things feel really tough.

For more on gender disappointment, overcoming, and natural gender selection, check out Gender Selection Central.

Photo by Michael Melchiorre

In the late 1800’s the first breast enhancement procedures began to take place. In the early days of breast augmentation surgeries, the breast tissue was injected with anything from wax, silicone, and even fat cells. These procedures often led to complications including deformity, infection and difficulty in screening women for breast cancer. In some cases complications were so dire that they resulted in mastectomy. Direct injections were abandoned in the early part of the 20th century in favor of implants filled with various substances. Glass balls, rubber, sponges and other various materials were tried until the 1960’s when implants filled with silicone or saline.

Today implants consist of a silicone shell with either saline or silicone gel filling. The shell gives the implant its shape, either round or contoured. A contoured implant gives a more natural breast shape, but also carries the risk of flipping causing the breast to become misshapen.

There are many reasons a woman would undergo breast augmentation surgery:

• Size. Aesthetic reasons are the number one reason women undergo enhancement surgery.
• Reconstruction following mastectomy. Many women battling breast cancer undergo mastectomies. This could mean the removal of one or both breasts.
• Asymmetry. Women who have deformities or asymmetrical breasts get implants to give them a more balanced bustline.
• Lift. After pregnancy and breastfeeding or after a significant weight loss, a woman’s breasts may change in size and shape. Implants can give them lift and make them appear rounder, fuller and more firm.

The risk of rupture is one of the biggest health risks concerning implants. Saline implants are filled with sterile salt water. If the implant ruptures the liquid is absorbed by the body without ill effect. Silicone implants do carry a higher risk. If a silicone implant ruptures or leaks, the gel can migrate into the area around the implant or even into other parts of the body. This has been known to cause diseases such as arthritis, lupus and some autoimmune disorders.

Women who opt for silicone implants should get regular exams post-surgery to check for ruptures. Often an MRI is required to determine if there is a gradual leak. The Food and Drug Administration recommends that breast implants should be removed or replaced every ten years. As the implant gets older it is more prone to rupture. Mammograms have also been known to cause an implant to rupture.

Implants may hinder milk production for lactating mothers. The milk ducts begin producing milk as early as 20 weeks into the pregnancy. This may cause pain and pressure in the breast and often the nipples may begin to leak. Implants may cause a diminished milk supply due to scarring, damaged ducts, or nerve damage. Other than possible milk supply issues, babies are not affected by implants and there shouldn’t be cause for concern regarding latching on or in milk quality. Unless the implant is old or ruptured, there is no reason to have implants removed prior to pregnancy.

Guest blogger Drew Perkins is a 28 year old health and wellness freelance writer. He mostly spends his time writing blog posts and write content for his wife’s website that talks about diet, weight loss surgeries and tummy tuck.

Before Your Baby Arrives

Choices during pregnancy and birth can have a big impact on your baby’s first few weeks, so Megan and Miriam give a good overview of your options in prenatal care and childbirth.

There is great, frank discussion of labor interventions and the possible impact of various choices.

Helpful sidebars supplement information throughout the book — many coming from recognized experts in the various specialties. I really enjoyed these bite-sized, yet info-packed conversations.

I also love the wisdom Miriam and Megan pack into their book:

“These days, power isn’t often served on a silver platter. But it is ours for the taking, if we know our rights.”

This section also discusses childbirth education and preparation options, and highlights my favorite, the Pink Kit, so it gets my seal of approval

Baby’s Arrival

The The Other Baby Book gives the same thorough information about interventions your baby may face in those early moments, days, and weeks. Again, there’s a great balance to everything.

The book tackles important choices you need to make about things like circumcision and vaccination. You can get a sense of the way Megan and Miriam feel about important issues, but they present the research clearly and in an unbiased manner — they leave you to make the right choice for your baby. Their tone is relaxed and friendly, but full of the confidence new moms need,

They also share comments from other moms throughout the books, and these comments are wonderfully balanced, too. You get a lot of different viewpoints on what’s working for different families.

Caring For Your Baby

A huge portion of the book is, of course, devoted to baby care. Miriam and Megan give you practical advice on baby care. They also explore the origin of many common baby care methods used today. I found this really interesting. Knowing where the advice came from helps you make an informed choice about how you want to use it.

I loved the section on bathing your baby. I don’t know that I’ve ever picked up a baby book that really advocating taking a bath with your baby! That’s what I’ve always done, so I was thrilled to see it in print as not only a viable, but a desirable option!

Hands On, Baby!

There’s a lot of discussion on touch and closeness in The Other Baby Book. You get a full picture of why touch is important, and how keeping your baby close can help him be happier and more content. I worried a little bit about the continual emphasis on less crying… but realized I worried for nothing when I read the acknowledgement that some babies just cry more than others… and sometimes the only thing you can really “do” is hold them while they air their complaints!

Breastfeeding Baby

Megan and Miriam give tons of good information on breastfeeding and the benefits of breastfeeding. They also take the bold and refreshing stance of “reframing normal” and discussing the hazards of formula feeding. I think that’s important and it’s a viewpoint people need to consider.

There’s plenty of good information for nursing mothers, including more commentary by experts on breastfeeding.

The Other Baby Book does discuss alternatives to breastfeeding, highlighting donated milk as a gold-standard. There’s good information on what to look for if you must use formula. I didn’t seen any information on making healthy homemade formulas, though, and that would have been nice.

Each chapter in the book ends with further reading recommendations. You’ll appreciate the great books and websites suggested in this chapter and the rest sprinkled throughout the other chapters!

Sleep, Diaper, Play, Eat

There’s a lot more to cover when it comes to caring for your baby, and The Other Baby Book does a great job with it.

There’s an extensive section on baby sleep — you’ll get to know how babies sleep (and why they sleep that way), as well as different sleep options. Again, Megan and Miriam give an overview of the history of baby sleep and give solid, research-backed recommendations for sleeping with your baby. There’s also great information on sleeping safely with your baby.

Diapering options are almost overwhelming for new parents. The Other Baby Book gives you the low-down on diapering, including the somewhat profit-driven motives of the extended diapering trend common today. There’s a great discussion on elimination communication as a viable option for baby… and for a busy mama’s lifestyle.

There’s a lot of great information on consider toys, play, and connection with your baby. I like the emphasis on open play, and an understanding that play with others isn’t always going to be a super-smooth experience.

The Other Baby Book places some emphasis on labeling and even embracing strong emotion. I find some of that valid, but as I’ve parented, I’ve found that labeling emotions for children can often just develop children who have a lot of grown-up words on how angry (frustrated, unhappy, depressed, etc) they are… but a lack of emphasis on how to overcome that (and gain freedom from being mired in emotion). Aside from my feelings on this, I think the book gives a lot of great information on connecting with your child and recognizing his or her emotions.

Starting solids with baby? The Other Baby Book has you covered. There’s a great exploration on when and how to start solids. I love seeing the emphasis on little guts and how to keep them healthy. I also like how baby-led weaning is highlighted. Miriam and Megan also make it clear that, as with everything in baby care, there’s no one-size fits all approach and what works for one baby may be different than what you need for another!

The final chapter of the book addresses flow — finding yourself as a mother and flowing with and accepting the life that you’re creating for yourself and your baby. You’ll appreciate this chapter, also written in Megan and Miriam’s supportive, down-to-earth style. Following this chapter? An extensive section of resources and references, so you can dig into the official research for any topic you’re hungry for more on.

The Other Baby Book is an awesome book — it’s well-researched, well-written, and infinitely practical. There are a lot of baby care books out there, but if you only decide to read one of them, this is it! You’ll find yourself flipping back for more balanced information to get you through pregnancy and your baby’s early years with confidence and joy.

Of course, if you have a few of one gender, people start getting pushy and saying “don’t you want a boy” (if you have a pack of girls) or “don’t you hope this one’s a girl?” (if you have a passel of boys).

This is something I’ve wanted to write about for a long time, but I’ve hesitated because the subject seems to be so taboo. If you start talking baby gender, people automatically seem to assign you to outdated cultures of first-born-son worship! Or, they imply that you should be grateful for what you get.

Gender Dissapointment is Real

I’m against sugar-coating things, though, so I’m going to set the record straight. Gender dissapointment really happens. In fact, it’s really normal.

Here’s something else important to know: you can fully and totally love your baby and still experience gender dissapointment.

Gender dissapointment is not something tied to the child you get. It’s tied to the dream you had for a child you did not get. The dream of experiencing a son or daughter, or of giving an older child a brother or sister.

There are many, many varied issues that can cause depression (temporary or persistent, mild or deep) during pregnancy and the vulnerable postpartum period. Mothers battle with guilt over all of these things, but for the most part they’re all normal. Babies are resilient, and can overcome emotional issues that mothers have. Mothers can overcome them, too, but compassion and support go a long way in determining how quickly that can happen.

Condemnation Does Not Help

Shaming a mother or making her feel guilt because she expressed a desire to have a baby of the opposite gender does not help her.

Simple affirmation of a mother’s feelings (or of your own) is the best policy when struggling with gender disappointment.

It is very rare for a person to rise above and overcome challenges when they meet heavy-handed condemnation at all points. It’s much better to calmly accept what a mom needs to help get through the situation.

Why Do I Feel This Way?

As I said, gender disappointment is normal and many families experience it.

It’s most common to feel gender disappointment when you have a child or children of one gender and hope to have the experience of parenting the other gender. Though some people feel fine to get daughter after daughter or son after son, many also long to experience the other gender.

Some women may have had an especially close relationship with their mother or their sisters, and that leads them to want a daughter so they can share the same joyful relationship with her.

Sometimes a woman has experienced abuse (especially sexual abuse) from a man, and this leaves a deep fear within her. These women often feel fearful of having sons and desire a daughter.

Conversely, some women had a trouble-filled or abusive relationship with their own mother (or occasionally poor relationships with sisters). These moms feel fearful of having a daughter because they don’t feel they know what a good mother-daughter relationship is like.

A woman who was a “tomboy” during her own childhood may feel nervous about having a girl and think she’ll identify better with a son.

Sometimes families want a son to carry on the family name. Some want a son first and a daughter second. Many families want one of each gender.

There are so many other reasons that women desire one gender over another, and why a mom might feel disappointment when she discovers she’s going to have a baby of the opposite gender.

Hopefully this has provided a nice overview of why gender disappointment happens, and why it’s not a horrible thing. It’s actually pretty normal!

I’ll give suggestions for coping with gender disappointment in the second part of the series!

For more on gender disapointment, overcoming, and natural gender selection info, check out Gender Selection Central.

Photo by Clownhouse III

It doesn’t sound very appealing, does it? Yet thousands, if not millions, of babies face that same bowl (or bottle) of bland mush every day. Baby cereal, especially rice cereal, is the hallmark of “first foods” — at least it is today.

Nutritious? No Way.

Rice cereal has almost no nutritional value. Most baby cereals have no nutritional value. In fact, they’re harmful and set your baby up for a lifetime of health problems. Despite vain attempts to “fortify” cereals with nutrients your baby needs, they remain a poor filler that sits like a brick in your baby’s stomach.

White flours and white rice have very little nutritional value. Though there may be room for moderate, nutrient-poor “fillers” like these when serving a holiday meal, growing babies and children don’t need them as part of their daily fare.

Children react powerfully to food, especially to carbohydrate foods. These foods cause the blood glucose levels to spike, then subsequently crash.

Children are resilient — you most likely won’t see problems with diabetes in your child. But those blood sugar spikes send children on an energy rush they learn to enjoy. Think of how many children you know who will only eat carbohydrate-heavy foods like crackers, chips, fries, and breaded meats.

What goes up must come down, and the same is true with your baby’s blood sugar. These crashes can lead to tired, irritable, and cranky babies. As your child gets older, the tantrums get worse. It keeps going until yet another carbohydrate-laden meal or snack is served to keep them up yet again.

Obesity and Fear

Dr. Alan Greene has begun a campaign to end serving white rice cereal to babies (download white paper). He notes the alarming rise of obesity, even among very young children and points to nutritionally-devoid foods like white rice as being one of the initial sources of the problem.

As I stated above, Dr. Greene feels like early training in bland, tasteless (and blood-sugar spiking) foods sets our children up for eating patterns that will harm them throughout life.

Humans enjoy sweet things — breastmilk is sweet and we’re programmed that way from the womb. But babies develop other tastes quickly as they begin solid food (the start of the weaning process). Repeated exposure to a family’s favorite flavors teaches a baby and toddler what tastes good.

Isolating babies and toddlers from “real” tastes by feeding only processed cereals, then “graduate foods” leads them to be hesitant, even fearful of new tastes. Children learn to reject food that doesn’t have the same comforting, bland taste they’re used to. In other words crackers, chips, and breaded foods take the throne as the kings of childhood tastes.

Breaking Down

As I said above, you and your baby are hard-wired to enjoy sweet things. But in centuries past, sweets weren’t so easy to come by. Sweet and starchy foods were enjoyed more in moderation. When starchy foods were eaten, they were often fermented so that they were easier to digest. Proteins and fats were well-prized.

Sweets day in and day out are not as natural for our bodies. Carbohydrates are sugars. All carbohydrates, even “complex carbohydrates” are sugars. The human body eventually gets exhausted from having to handle the constant flow of sugar. It may not happen until your child reaches the age of 30, 40, 50… maybe 60… but eventually the body’s metabolic systems begin to break down from years of abuse.

What was hyperactivity, tendency to tantrums, inattention, and inability to work in school becomes lack of energy and an expanding waistline. Eventually that gets worse and becomes diabetes, obesity, and a slow, painful decline to death. It’s an epidemic in our modern world, and it takes an intelligent and aware parent to stop this deadly trend before it begins.

Meals featuring protein and healthy fats (butter, coconut oil, etc.) nourish your child’s brain and body. Meats are suitable even as a first food for babies. Vegetables and moderate levels of starchy veggies (like mineral and nutrient-packed potatoes and sweet potatoes) provide taste, vitamins, minerals, and energy for rapidly growing children… without taxing the body. By properly preparing grains (following the model of our healthy ancestors), we can give our easy-to-digest nutrition. Serving these foods in moderation, as a compliment to the life-giving protein and brain-powering fats in our meals, is what gives our children lifelong health.

Processed baby cereals are a tasteless induction to a life of poor health. I agree with Dr. Greene… it’s time to “white out” these pages of white, empty foods from our baby’s first food lists.

I’ve written extensively about healthy first foods (including tons of recipes divided up by age) in my book on feeding babies and toddlers. Click here to get more info on how First Bites and Beyond can help you bring up a smart, happy baby.

Photo by nate steiner

Singing and Dancing Around the Toilet

So have parents been dancing around toilet seats to encourage their kids to use the bathroom since the beginning of time? Giggling potties, diapered teddy bears, and sticker charts weren’t part of human toddlerhood back in the day. How did they do it?

I don’t want to be totally unfair to the diaper companies here — cloth diapers, moss, and other absorbent substances have been used against baby bums for centuries.

But it’s not true that babies have no elimination awareness. It’s completely false that you need to wait for some “readiness” to start teaching your kid that his pants are not his toilet. It doesn’t require stickers, singing toilets, or special pull-on diapers.

And the advice that it’s harmful to “potty train too early” — total hoax.

Baby, You’re Born With It

Did you know that human babies are born with a desire to avoid soiling themselves? It’s hard to figure out why that’s so surprising, shocking, and bordering on sacrilegious. After all, animals clearly demonstrate that they don’t want to soil their nests, even as babies. Why do we think that human babies, certainly more developed, would do that?

Babies are born with an awareness that they’re eliminating — urinating or having a bowel movment. Babies squirm, grunt, sign, squeal, shiver, kick, fuss, and give any number of other signs.

Think about how many parents glance over at their baby and just know she’s filling her diaper… we have an instinct about it.

Diaper Duty

Of course the diaper industries have a pretty vested interest in keeping our kids in diapers. Cloth or disposable, it’s money to keep them toddling around in those diaper-clad bottoms.

“Delayed toilet training” is touted as gentler, more kid-friendly, and respectful.

The truth is, listening to your baby’s signals from the start is what’s really the most respectful to your baby’s dignity. And, well, it’s just a little easier to flush the toilet than clean poop that’s smeared into every crack and crevice on your precious baby’s bottom.

Wait, Is This All or Nothing?

I want to be clear that this isn’t an all-or-nothing thing. My first baby spent a lot more time diaper free than my other babies have. I’ll admit it, when I’m busy with running a home and keeping up with a bunch of kids, I like the diapers helping me out.

But I still feel good that I can catch most of my baby’s cues throughout the day, helping her to stay clean and dry – with minimal work for me. I’ve been listening to her cues since birth, and it’s just part of daily life to keep respecting them. I’m certainly not perfect, and sometimes I feel baffled by just how she managed to sneak a dirty diaper up on me But on the whole, we’re staying clean, dry, and happy.

“Potty training” for us will be a transition from Mama helping all the time to a proud tot going all by herself… it certainly won’t be the celebrated (and dreaded) milestone the diaper companies make it out to be.

How can you listen to your little one’s cues? What can you do if you’re getting a late start… is it still possible to learn when your kiddo needs to go? Get the answers to these questions and more in my favorite guide to elimination communication: EC Simplified. It’s packed with photos, flowcharts, advice, and easy step-by-step help to get started successfully today.

Photo by Manish Bansal

Trip to Urgent Care

I say “normal” because, though our last two weeks have gone smoothly compared to the weeks of construction before, normal is relative in my house.

I spent last Monday afternoon in Urgent Care with Galen, who fell and hit the back of his head on a brick in our backyard. That resulted in a deep gash and a lot of blood… and my first trip to Urgent Care with one of my kids. Three staples later we were back home and Galen is fine. I think it traumatized me more! I can have babies at home, but I don’t care to see staples going into my child’s head!

House Hunting

We’re also house-hunting (yes, it’s frustrating that we just lived through major renovations that will mostly benefit the person who buys our home!)… this has been the plan for months, and now that spring is trying to make its way to our corner of the world, we’re looking in earnest. We’ve got our eyes on a specific property and we’re praying our bid will be accepted.

Preparing a house for sale and looking for a new home continues to surprise me with just how emotional and scary it can be. I will be really happy when we get this behind us. Moving I can do… but as exciting as looking for a new house is, it’s pretty scary for me.

Ever-Popular Honor

Honor and all the bigger kids are doing really well. Honor is 10 months old now and she’s really a joy — almost all grins. She’s still a big Mama’s girl, but truly loves spending time with Daddy and her siblings as well.

All three of the older kids greatly desired time to play with Honor every day, so I’ve re-worked our schedules so that they each get a period of time one-on-one with her while I’m teaching siblings homeschool lessons. This makes teaching a lot easier for me and so far they’re all having a blast. They’re off in a corner of the front room where I’m teaching so I can keep an eye on everything, but it’s working out well.

It brings such joy to my heart to see how much they love her and how they delight in helping with our baby

Promised Pictures

I promised some pictures of the work on the house. I’ve got some before, during, and after pictures. We did all of the stripping of old wallpaper and such, then had a professional crew come in to repair the (major, major) damage to the original plaster we found after stripping. They also did the painting for us. Enjoy the pictures:

Corner, Before!

Stripping everything away

Yes, that's PINK in this "before" shot

Here’s during… we discovered a huge hole in the wall.

Looking Better!!

Yes, you see a green door...

Working on the wall

Huge difference! No more green door

Here's the next wall

Already some extensive patching done here

Pretty scary!

Looking Better

Wall beside the piano... this was the most damaged wall

Layers of textured paint and ancient wallpaper to strip away

Everyone wants to help...

What we found after we got down to the original plaster...

BIG Difference!

Here's the staircase before... you can see the horrible textured paint

And after!

Final "after" shot showing the staircase and piano wall

We introduced Honor to solids in the days surrounding her six month old milestone… and she wasn’t impressed.  It didn’t really take long, however, for her to become an enthusiastic eater!  Here’s a list of what Honor is enjoying now (early in her 8th month):

• Beef
• Chicken
• Chicken sausage (pure chicken in casing from Amish family farms)
• Heavy cream (from grass-fed cows)
• Butter
• Winter squash (various kinds)
• Sweet potato
• Full-fat Greek yogurt
• Egg Yolk
• Liver
• Broccoli
• Avocado (she’s not a huge fan)
• Sea salt
• Chicken Broth (homemade, she LOVES this)
• Coconut milk (in broth)
• Cucumber

Right now Honor’s foods are mostly pureed and thinned some with heavy cream.  She does well with thin purees and has moved into thicker pastes mostly comfortably.

She will suck / gnaw on pieces of cooked roast and cucumbers, but she’s very enthusiastic about really eating and loves her Purees.

I didn’t really introduce purees with the bigger kids, they just took to baby-led weaning, but after all of Galen’s problems with solids and weight gain I felt anxious to at least introduce to Honor and see how she did.  Luckily she really loves eating!

I’m hoping to move her more and more into finger foods and away from Purees, but I’m going at her pace.  So far she seems to be having no troubles!

Getting Started with Solids is Simple!

Starting solids is an adventure – but I know it can seem overwhelming. First Bites and Beyond is a fantastic book available for instant download – you’ll learn the basics of great nutrition that will help your baby grow smart and healthy – and how to make meals that work for you and your baby. I’ve packed all my experience into First Bites Go ahead and take a look for more info!

EC’ing with Cassidy, Brennan, and Galen (I didn’t EC Asher and regret it)… it was easy compared to Honor.  Honor just doesn’t give signals really, at all.

Galen never, ever pooped in his diaper.  He just didn’t.  He had one poop around 5 months old while we were traveling via van to our CSA — a 30 minute drive.

Otherwise, I can’t really remember any other times he went in his diaper (he did pee in his diaper, and I’ll admit he still has issues with peeing in his undies from time to time, especially when out playing).  Brennan and Cassidy were also both pretty averse to soiling their pants.

But Honor?  Honor really doesn’t seem to care.  She just goes!  I’m able to keep her dry most of the time simply based on timing, and at 8 months she’s pretty predictable with pees.  I do better during the week than on the weekends because I tend to be more aware while we’re also following our school day schedule.

Poops are not so predictable, however.  She tends to go once a day or every other day, and they’re a little more solid now that she’s eating two meals a day every day — but they’re still mostly soft and very messy if I miss them.

She doesn’t signal.  She doesn’t give any indication whatsoever one is coming.  If she’s grunting, it’s too late.

The only reliable indicators I have thus far are listening for her to pass gas or mother’s intuition.  If she’s gassy and I immediately place her on her potty, I can usually catch.  Sometimes I’ll get a feeling and put her on the potty.  I guess in a way the gas is a signal, but it doesn’t feel very obvious.  It’s mostly a matter of hear the gas and RUN for the potty bowl.

The others squirmed, fussed, and otherwise made it known that they needed to go, and to hustle!

I do catch most of Honor’s poops, but I also miss quite a few.  It can get really frustrating.  I’m hoping that she’ll get less comfortable with it and start to squirm more…

I have been keeping her more bundled in the cold weather.  As the weather starts to warm up in a couple of months, I’m thinking of keeping her on a prefold diaper over a large mat on lap (if she’ll be content to sit there at point).  That may help me to identify other cues.  For now, I’ll keep listening for her ever-so-subtle hints and go on any intuitive cues I get!

A quick video explaining what we’ve been up to and why I haven’t been getting a lot of updates out and haven’t even gotten Tiger Lily out!!