Nature Rabbi

Declutter Your Heart

2012-01-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

The heart, the vibrant center of our bodies rules us in so many ways. Not only is a healthy heart vital to our well-being, but healthy relationships, often ruled by the heart are necessary to our emotional vibrancy.

Yet, how many of us honor our heart center, much less even acknowledge its importance?

In the last Declutter session we discussed eating a plant based diet as a way to unclutter the physical heart. Avoid fried foods, foods that have been processed adding chemicals and toxins, and food that is void of nutrients. Exercise, breathe and celebrate life. If we do these things, our hearts will be physically healthy.

But what about the emotional care of our hearts? What kind of clutter and debris to we carry around in our centers that weighs us down and gives us heartache?

Grudges

Anger

Sorrow

Worry

Toxic relationships

Let’s talk about ways to liberate our heart from this needless clutter.

Take a grudge for instance. Carrying a grudge, a resentment, or a wish for revenge is certainly a toxic load. Holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die. Who are we hurting? The best revenge is living a wonderful life. Chances are, the person we are trying to snub has probably gone on with their life and no longer even thinks of the incident. By holding the grudge, we make ourselves double losers: first for allowing our self to be wounded by the incident and second, by carrying around the hurt in our heart for so long. We need to learn how to let go. Some say, “Let go and let God.” That’s not a bad way to think about it – another is that the law of Karma will handle it. Maybe that person, being hurtful, is living their own hell. Give up your grudge – free yourself from this weight, and put your new found energy toward making your life joyful.

Anger – another heavy toxic load that can actually eat away at our physical body. If you feel you are carrying anger, take it out and examine it. Who is the real target of your anger? Could you be angry at yourself for getting into the hurtful situation. The Serenity Prayer helps here: Ask God or the Source to grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Are you angry because you are trying to change something or someone who cannot be changed? If so, invoke your wisdom and let it go. If a person has made you angry – pray for them. You heard me – pray for them. Why? Because it helps you to release your anger and soon you not only feel a lighter load, but you feel more loving and heart felt energy in sending healing energy than rather than hateful vibrations. Don’t cut off your beautiful nose to spite yourself.

Sorrow is a heavy emotion. It is not toxic if it comes from a true loss, but it is heavy to carry. If you have experienced a loss, mourn it. Curl up in bed, pull the covers over your head and weep until you are cried out. Journal your feelings perhaps. Share them with a trusted friend or counselor. If you have lost a loved one to death – look at your life through their eyes. What would they want you to do? Often the answer is to life a rich life of joy and happiness. If so, do it for them until you can do it for you.

Worry happens when we don’t live in the now. When we live in the moment, that’s where life happens. There is nothing to worry about in the moment because we are living our reality. We worry about things that happened in the past, or that will happen in the future. We have no control over these things. When you find yourself carrying the worry load, notice it – it is probably past or present. Acknowledge and dismiss it and bring your focus back to the present moment and live it. You should feel the lightness of being when you do.

Toxic relationships are “friends” we continue to see even when we allow them to make us feel bad. Stick up for your wonderful, loving self. If you feel bad, sad, or mad after spending time with a person, this person is probably toxic for you. End the relationship. Surround yourself with friends who enjoy you as you are. Being alone is better than being with someone who denigrates you. Do a reality check first, however, to make sure you are not being too sensitive. But if time and time again, you come away from an encounter feeling less, than you need to end the encounters with this person. Love yourself and be with those who see and honor your true inner beauty.

Remember, in relationships, we cannot control the other person or what they do. We can only control our reaction to it or them. After presented with their action, we have our opportunity to create the response that is in line with our loving heart and with the sacred energy of the world. Take the high road. Respond to each encounter with a win/win, or kind and understanding response.

By taking these steps, we can not only free our hearts from the heavy toxic load we often carry, but we can live in harmony and beauty. We can be the light of love and kindness to ourselves, to others around us and to the world. We have the power to create global peace through our inner healing work. Let’s do it.

Got some clutter in that beautiful body of yours?

2012-01-16T11:38:00.000-08:00

Clutter is chaos, chaos that we welcome into our lives. Chaos that blocks the flow of our energy and dims the brightness of our spirit’s light.

Have you ever walked into a crowded antique store, where everything was smashed together and you had to turn sideways to maneuver through the packed aisles. What did you feel? Me? I feel uncomfortable and then find my breathing getting shallow. These places are often dark and there is no energy flow. Soon, I abandon my mission, even if there is something special to see, it is not worth sorting through the rubble to find buried treasure.

Yet, have you ever mined for gold? You are outside on a beautiful day, sun shining upon you, with your pan in the river, gentle waters flowing as you search for your nuggets. The energy is inviting and invigorating.

Our bodies can either be like the crowded store or the free flowing stream and we are the ones who control this.

Picture your body like the stream on a sunny day. Light illumines it and it magnifies this radiance for all to experience. Energy flows through it: your heart beat sends healthy blood pulsing through your entire body, free to travel and do its job. Your lungs bring in fresh air to oxygenate every molecule making them vibrant. Water flows through your body giving it life-sustaining hydration and removing all toxins. All systems bright, healthy, flowing and glowing – your radiant self. Breathe in this feeling – it feels awesome, doesn’t it?

And yet, what do we do to our beautiful bodies? We, who have the power to heal and sustain them…..we often clog and clutter them.

We fill them with toxins, chemicals we know nothing about, artificial flavors and food colorings, hormones and drugs given to beasts of burden, stimulants and a gazillion things we can’t even pronounce much less understand their side effects. And worse, we think nothing about this chemical dump into our bodies and we feed our children the same toxic load.

The result: clutter, bodily chaos, overwork of our beautiful internal systems, illness, disease and premature death. Our insides become as dark and dusty as that cluttered and cramped antique store. Clogged and dark, soon broken – and we did this to ourselves.

I challenge you to change this, to liberate your body from this chaos of internal nasty clutter. You have to power and the knowledge and the ability to do so. What is stopping you from making this change?

Here is what I recommend if you decide you want to liberate your body – to free it from this clutter and to allow it to be the vibrant, radiant and beautiful body it wants to be.

1. Begin right now drinking water. Hydrate yourself. Allow this water to begin opening the rivers within your body encouraging them to flow throughout your entire system with life sustaining hydration.

2. Avoid any processed food. In the processing, chemicals and toxins are added. Most of us are not scientists to even understand what these toxins are, much less what they do. But suffice it to say, our bodies were not created to handle artificial or processed foods.

Most of these foods are in the internal aisles of your supermarket – when you shop, most of the health sustaining foods are on the periphery of the supermarket – hug the walls with your cart!

3. Please consider a whole food (ie, unprocessed) plant based diet. Eating sentient beings not only causes damage to your body such as heart disease and cancer, but it darkens your spirit because another living being had to be slaughtered needlessly. The best foods to sustain us and keep our bodies healthy and vibrant are from plants. Start with one plant based meal a day, and then one day a week. The more you get toxins and chemicals out of your system, the more your taste buds will crave these healthy foods.

4. Eat mindfully. Be cognizant of everything you put into your body – is it beneficial to your health? Is it chemical and toxin free? Is it given to you without needless slaughter of another sentient being? Will it promote your internal energy and health?

These four steps are guaranteed to clear clutter from your body, brighten your spirit, energize your life and bring peace and beauty to you and to the world – one body, one loving action, one beautiful world.

Create Calm Within Chaos – you have the power.

A Goddess is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic.

2012-01-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

We all know people who can walk into a room and fill it with light. Where does this light come from? What does it take to ignite our own flames so we too can radiate light?

This light, I believe, is the soul spark that unites us all. It is a divine gift. We are born with it.

But like any living gift, it needs to be tended. Our spark can flicker and become dim.

Out task as keepers of the light is to breathe energy into our souls in order to fan our divine flame. Our breath is what connects us to all of life - it is life itself. Our breath can open us to the universal flow of energy, light and love. It fills us with peace, it balances our energies, and it grounds us.

By consciously keeping our flame alive and vibrant, our human bodies cannot contain the glow. We are vibrating on a universal energy level and it creates not only a glow, but a radiant light. This vibration draws others to us - they know they can come near and be safe and loved and honored. With this beautiful light, we become magnetic and magical.

We use this gift to spread love and peace to our closest friends and around the globe. We are part of the global transformation - an agent in loving change. Let your Goddess spark light up the world in loving harmony.

A Goddess is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her.

2011-12-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

A Goddess is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole.

When we choose to come to earth, the Divine blows the breath of life deep within us and this sacred breath remains available to us always to heal, energize, and launch us into action.

By connecting to the Oneness with our sacred breath, we are able to experience the magic and mystery of all that our minds, bodies, and spirits can offer us. Our sensual and creative passion ignites by our mere invitation. Our divine sparks can burn brightly enough to bring light to all around us.

When we feel weak or disconnected, we trust that by reaching deep within our soul, to our sacred storehouse of divinity, we can rekindle our spark and re-energize ourselves.

We are in charge of our own energetic vibration. We have the skills (sometimes forgotten, sometimes undeveloped) to clear any blockages and let pure light and vibration flow through our beautiful bodies - from the earth where we stand, though our love centers, our golden voices, our clear and brilliant minds, and out to the heavens.

Not only that - we can draw this heavenly energy down through our bodies and share it with the earth. We, by our godness and goodness, have the power to conduits for this incredible divine and earthly energetic vibration.

We can do this because we are indeed magical, mysterious, and a glorious part of the great Oneness.

Be with yourself and experience the magic and wonder of who you are - savor it, love it, nurture it - than share it with the world. You are One.

A Goddess is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her.

2011-12-22T10:30:00.001-08:00

A goddess is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her.

Our lesson is to completely fall in love with ourselves and nurture all of our divine seeds to fruition. We are born with pure potential. Some seeds of this potential take longer to germinate, grow and blossom into incredible traits and talents.

We need to treat our bodies as our cherished garden, giving our garden lots of light and love, and life sustaining water. We need to fuel it with healthy plant based energy.

And just like any garden, we need to stir the compost. The compost of our life consists of the struggles and challenges - the fear, grudges and anger. Stir it up to release the negative toxins. What remains will be the rich life lessons - our teachers -encouraging us to grow and learn and blossom.

And just like any garden - it becomes our sacred space - a place where we can dance in the rain, feel the dirt in our fingers, the sun upon our faces -- and fall in love with love and life.

Let us love the magnificent possibilities within our internal gardens -- cherish them, nurture them, fall in love with them, be patient with them, yet always expect them to ripen - expect them the same way we should expect miracles. We are all magnificent miracles of life! Celebrate, love and savor each moment of possibility - each challenge that teaches us - and each success that enriches us and the world within which we live.

Allow our glorious goddess energy to ripen and flower -- it is magnificent to behold.

We are One with the Source of All -- and It is certainly all good. May you be a blessing to all.

A Goddess is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light.

2011-12-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

A goddess is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light.

We all have a darkness, a brokenness - it is part of our creation. Chaos and creation are a cycle, just as life and death and rebirth. The universe continues to explode in chaos only to re-create in the process. From darkness to light - yet another cycle.

Some folks wallow in their broken or dark side. They become victims and live lifes of "if only," rarely able to celebrate or savor goodness.

But a goddess is one who uses her brokenness and darkness as teachers. She embraces this side of the cycle for what it can teach her - for how it can help her create her life as a work of art.

By accepting our darkness, being able to sit with it, learn from it, and using it as the seeds for creating our light - we grow in brightness and wholeness.

We understand the cycles, chaos to creation, dark to light - we are not afraid when the cycle turns back to chaos and darkness because we acknowledge that there will be another explosion of brilliance and understanding. That with each of these explosions we elevate our learning and brightness. We celebrate our light and share it will the Universe.

We become women of the world - of the universe - sages of light - we are One with all. It's all good.

A Goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself.

2011-12-16T10:50:00.001-08:00

We have a treasure trove of power and energy stored within our earth bodies. We get these treasures directly from the Source, from our spiritual connection with the Oneness that unites all beings and all things.

Yet sometimes our earth bodies get tired. We run them ragged, forget to fuel them, and demand much, giving them little. No wonder we wear out.

When this happens, know that if you STOP, BREATHE, and VISUALIZE this divine power and energy within, you can stoke up your internal flame and re-energize your body. You will find the fuel to complete your task. Then reward your body with a diet rich in plant-based nutrients, life sustaining water, and sweet sleep. You deserve this.

We have so much more than this ability to re-energize our body.

We also have the power, within ourselves - to continue to create ourselves (or re-create ourselves) and in doing so, continue to create the life we want to live.

It is all within us - everything we need. From this internal treasure trove, we can pull up love, compassion, creation, empathy - so much goodness. And in doing so, our inner Goddess emerges and we can share this love with everyone we meet. It can be so vibrant that the world is better for our very being. And for that, we give thanks.

We merely have to tap into the Source of our spirit and ask for what we need; and trust that it will be provided.

It is all good; we are all One.

Traits of a Goddess

2011-12-13T08:10:00.001-08:00

What is a Goddess? In my mind, it is one who is tapped into the infinite flow of Oneness, who lives life united in mind, body, and spirit, with goodness and Godness. It is a lifestyle that we all, men* and women, can aspire to and achieve with practice, meditation, and most important, a deep connection to the Source of All, be it God, Allah, Spirit, Energy, Flow.

I discovered an awesome list of traits titled "A Goddess" by an unknown author. Obviously, some wise person took the time to write this. I would love to meet this person. Today I will share with you this list that has gone viral. In future blog posts, I will be exploring some of these traits in detail -- how to go from potential to actualization. How can we be that Goddess - or acknowledge that we already are.

A Goddess

A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself.

She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light.

She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her.

She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole.

She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic.

She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence.

She has power and softness at the same time.

She has powerful sexual energy that's not dependent on physical looks.

She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortable lives and moves in it.

She cherishes beauty, light, and love.

She is a mother to all children.

She flows with life in effortless grace.

She can heal with a look or a touch of the hand.

She is fiercely sensual and fearlessly erotic and engages in sex as her way to share with another in touching the Divine.

She is compassion and wisdom.

She is a seeker of Truth and cares deeply about something bigger than herself.

She is a woman who knows that her purpose in life is to reach higher and rule with love.

She is a woman in love with love.

She knows that joy is her destiny and by embracing it and sharing it with others, wounds are healed.

She is a woman who has come to know that her partner is as tender, lost and frightened as she has been at times.

She has come to understand the scars of the boy in him and knows that together, love can be the relief, the healing of their wounds.

She is a woman who can accept herself as she is. She can accept another as they are.

She is able to forgive her mistakes and not feel threatened by another's even when attacked.

She is a woman who can ask for help when she needs it or give help when asked.

She respects boundaries, hers and another's.

She can see God in another's eyes. She can see God in her own. She can see God in every life situation.

She is a woman who takes responsibility for everything she creates in her life.

She is a woman who is totally supportive and giving.

She is a Goddess.

*I think that men, if they practiced many of these traits would achieve this beautiful union with the Oneness, the life sustaining and enriching flow of energy.

Angels Among Us

2011-12-11T05:57:00.000-08:00

The Talmud, a Jewish book of learning, teaches that:

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow."

If this is true of a blade of grass, just think of the angels bending over us, urging us to be our best selves, guiding us on our earthly journey. Listen to the divine whispers.

Lifelong Student?

2011-12-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

I marvel at all there is to learn. We use so little of our brain, yet what an awesome and powerful organ it is. I began thinking about this post as a way to describe myself and others: are we lifelong students? Or students of a long life? Or merely students of life?

I am one of those folks who love to learn, to take classes, to study and teach. It is either a passion or an obsession or a combination of both. I recall the year I rented my bedroom to a friend from England and I slept in my study. I call that the year of no sleep. As I lay on my futon, I would gaze at my library and be drawn to this book, or that, or maybe another, and find myself reading the night away.

They say (those wise "they's") that when the student is ready, the teacher will come. I firmly believe in this. Let me share an example in my most recent learning journey as a transformational author. I love the synchronicity, the "coincidences", the miracles or better yet, how my Spirit Guides are orchestrating this.

Earlier this year, I felt I had achieved all of my goals. I was 60 and felt like I was in my kayak adrift without a paddle. Oh sure - it was lovely, my life was beautiful, but as one who always had a goal or direction, I was just afloat in a beautiful life.

I decided to use a career coach and was referred to Colleen Phillips, of Pieces to Profits. We examined all of the things I love to do: make jewelry, cook vegan food, write, rescue dogs and decided that I should focus primarily on one thing, and that one thing we decided, should be my writing. Cool. Okay. Write. Hmm. Now what? I've been writing all my life. How to I harness this energy into a productive vehicle?

I came home and as I am going through my emails, there is an email from Christine Kloser, The Transformational Author Coach offering a writing program of teaching, coaching, and a contest to win a publishing contract. The price was more than I was comfortable with, living on the low end of the economic food chain (hospitals must think chaplains take a vow of poverty). But if felt too right to ignore. It was there when I was looking for an way to launch and I trusted my intuition and my Spirit Guides and jumped in.

During this time period, I worked on an old book, The Sacred Art of Dog Walking and entered it in the contest. It didn't win, but the book is still important to me, however as you will see, I had to backburner its publication date because two more wonderful things happened. I became part of select group of 40 transformational authors from around the world; we each entered our story of brokenness to wholeness to Christine's project. The result: Pebbles in the Pond, an inspiring and uplifting book which will have its global launch on May 20, 2012.

And from Spirit's guidance, during my recent transAtlantic cruise, I wrote a book called Living with Spirit Energy. It is now with my editor and our launch date is September of 2012. When these two works get launched and in orbit, I can resurrect The Sacred Art of Dog Walking and finally release it to spiritual dog lovers of the world.

But the miracles continue - or the student is here and the teacher shows up. Last night as I lay in bed, before I did my meditative work, I thought: "my Spirit Energy work really needs another media - a teleseminar. How the heck is this old techno-dinosaur going to figure out the logistics and mechanics of a teleseminar. Oh well." I had my iPad (yes, I sleep with my iPad) and decided to check my email. Christine Kloser sent out a recording of an interview with a Teleseminar Coach, Bill Baren and he was offering 50% off on his seminar on the "how-to's" of teleseminars. I was laughing so hard I had to get out of bed.

Just think it and the way opens. Spirit Energy is such an incredible force - when we allow it to guide us, all of the answers become apparent. Sometimes in my life, it took months, even years, before I understood the guidance of my Spirit Guides, but lately, I no sooner get the idea formed and BAM - a door opens.

My literary journey has been a wild ride -- blessed and guided - but wild and exciting. Teachers and Coaches showing up, doors opening, new friends from around the globe, many ideas screaming to be birthed on paper. I am grateful for every single blessing and all that it took to get me here -- as I continue my journey as a student of life.

Where does God live?

2011-12-04T14:41:00.001-08:00

I always delight in learning modern truths from ancient wisdom. I was reading the torah portion about Jacob's ladder and found several profound modern lessons to consider. Let me share them with you by interspersing my thoughts with each piece of ancient wisdom.

In Genesis 28, verse 11, we follow Jacob as he fled Beer-sheba: "He came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night because the sun had set." This sentence assures us that this was an ordinary place, it could be like the place in which you are currently sitting.

12: "He had a dream; a stairway was set on the ground and its top reached to the sky and angels of God were going up and down on it." Notice the direction of the angels: they are going up first. This assures us that there are angels among us. The staircase is a reminder that there is always a link between the spirit and the human realm, and with practice, we can be that conduit.

God comes to him and makes a promise to give him this land and to bless his offspring, and in verse 15, God says: "Remember, I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go." What a beautiful blessing - it tells us that we are never alone, that God or Spirit or Angels are with us always, protecting our earthly journey.

Then Jacob awakens from his dream and exclaims in verse 16: "Surely the Lord is present in this place and I didn't know it!" (17) "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God."

Here is our modern lesson - God/Spirit is in THIS place - the place were you are, the place where you journey, everywhere you go. God doesn't need buildings or cathedrals. God/Spirit just needs us to awaken from our "slumber" and know that THIS place, wherever we are is sacred ground and we inhabit it with sacred beings, because we too are sacred. How awesome is that!

Namaste and Shalom.

Rainbows and Fertilizer

2011-12-02T16:06:00.001-08:00

You can't see a rainbow until you've experienced a rain storm. You would not appreciate joy until you have experienced adversity. Let adversity be your teacher. Embrace the lessons you have been given. These lessons enable and encourage your growth and your growth enhances your joy. Another way to look at it is that you can't grow a fine garden without plenty of fertilizer.

The Need To Be Prepared

2011-05-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

All of my life I have felt the need to be prepared. In school, just in case I would be called upon; as a management consultant, to speak intelligently to my clients; as an attorney, to win my cases no matter what the opposition tossed our way; and as a rabbi, to give coherent sermons and answer congregant questions with wisdom.

I was always okay with saying, "I don't know, but I'll find out." But there was still the need I felt to be prepared for any situation that cropped up.

I know I am not alone. I have a friend in his 90's who always carries a rope in his trunk (I know, I know - he shouldn't even be driving) and when I asked him why, he answered me like I was missing the obvious, "Because if I am ever driving down the street and I pass a body of water, and I see a person drowning, I can stop and toss them a rope." Yepper -- prepared.

I think of this need to be prepared every time my pager goes off now that I am a trauma chaplain. My gut clenches and I have this brief moment of panic: am I prepared? And then I remind myself that with this job, there is nothing I could possibly do to be prepared. I will encounter whatever is placed before me and trust that I have earned and learned enough wisdom in life to be able to respond to it appropriately and with sage words of comfort and solace.

There are times when I open my mouth to speak to a family and I am in awe of the words that I say. When I am alone afterward, I thank God for speaking through me to them, for allowing me to be the vehicle and vessel of the salve that will sooth and comfort them. So many times, too numerous to count, I hear words coming from my mouth that I know without a doubt, are divinely inspired, wise words I have never pondered before will spring forth to comfort someone in need.

How blessed I am that at this stage of my life, my only preparation is to show up and be open. Of course, that may have always been the case for me and I just didn't know it or trust it. And it is probably the case for you.

Our lesson -- whatever stage or age we are, trust in the divine to support us, guide us, and help us be a tool for goodness and Godness. Let us show up and be open, and stand in awe at what flows when we do.

1.1.11

2011-01-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

We all love "do overs" or new beginnings, do we not?

I was one of those school geeks who loved a new semester, or a new class and would always honor it with a new notebook and pen.

Yet, today is not much different than yesterday. And we do get new beginnings with each breath, each moment. We get presented with another opportunity to live a full and meaningful life. Is it a wonder that we choose to package each year as separate and distinct when they are in reality, a series of days, of moments, of breaths.

But this year, I am choosing to do so.

Upon reflection this morning, I realized what a traumatic, yet what a blessed year this has been for me. Since I was busy living it, I don't think I was cognizant of all of the changes that occurred in my life this year and how fortunate I am to be right where I am today.

I am a survivor of life and clearly not a wimp. I have survived child abuse (by a man I discovered, 58 years later, is not my biological father), an armed robbery, a burglary (actually two where all of my things were taken - one by a stranger and one by someone I trusted), a rape (by the cop I called for the first burglary), a terrorist bombing in Manila, a traumatic divorce on my 40th birthday when I was also unemployed and recently relocated to Florida where I had no support system.   Many many experiences -- all adding up to the person I am today.

But these do not compare with the hurt and disappointment and betrayal I worked through during the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011. Most of these feeling are because I value and cherish friendships. I trust people and hope I always will, yet I do so almost blindly and naively.

It's funny.....as I am writing this, it is hard to believe that the hurt, disappointment and betrayal were just a year ago -- and some, just months ago. In fact, I had to pause and go check with my beloved, Gordon, to make sure. They truly seem like another lifetime ago, and I guess that is because they are.

Once I had a congregation, and people who I thought were my friends - people I trusted and cherished and valued and held dear in my heart. Then in the Fall of 2009, there was a back-stabbing betrayal by a person I trusted that set this whole calamity of bad things in motion.

I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to let go. I fought in my heart to hold on.   I felt like I was in a fast moving river clinging to a branch by the river's edge and because I wouldn't let go, I kept getting pummeled and dashed against the rocks -- the tighter I held on, the more pain I received. I held on for months.

Friends who were dear to me jumped ship. I suppose they were friends of "the rabbi" and not me personally -- that hurt. I had to work through betrayal, anger, disappointment, grief -- all of the stages of mourning.

But through the Grace of God -- I finally let go.............and when I did, I was carried with the Flow to a most beautiful and loving life for which I am grateful and truly blessed. In the words of a very special woman, I had to learn to Flow With The Glow.

I think I realized my recovery from this drama when I was laying on my yoga mat in a class and a beautiful (inside and out) woman was on the mat next to me. I was drawn to her as a possible friend, but I told myself that I never wanted to have friends again. I had a good life, a wonderful sweetheart, precious dogs, a fulfilling career -- I didn't want to open myself up to the hurt of another friend. Weeks went by and one day I just felt myself open up. I was ready. Nadya became my first new friend -- my confirmation that it is okay to trust again and to hold someone dear in my heart.

How very blessed I am. The sadness of the drama and trauma of that tumultuous time has faded to a distant and vague memory. I have once again opened myself up to friendship, and I have let go of false friends.

I am blessed with a meaningful ministry -- one that I work when I go to the hospital and one that I can leave behind when I come home. I am blessed to work with a team of heroes who live life and safe lives and are dedicated and awesome and giving and just cool.

I am blessed with a loving and dedicated partner, whom I will marry this Spring, who makes every moment of my life easier and more wonderful by the gazillion million thoughtful and loving things he does for me.

I am blessed to have a wonderful son who is making his way in this world.

I am blessed to share my life with dogs who make every moment richer and full of love and laughter.

I am blessed to have friends, some new, and some old (as in long term) who truly love me and whom I truly love.

I am blessed to live in a beautiful place.   I am blessed to have good health.

And now -- it is time for me to leave this computer and go live my wonderful life. I am also grateful and give thanks all through the day for this opportunity of living and loving, fully and completely.

Shalom and namaste. 1.1.11

How to Cohabit with Love and Balance

2010-09-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

Sharing space with someone, from a roommate to a spouse, is fraught with challenge. I am blessed with a perfect living situation -- so perfect that I should get a trademark on our design and market it to folks who want to share space blissfully.

When my two-legged beloved, Gordon, and I decided to live together, it could have been a big mess. First, we are in our September years, both fixed in our ways of doing things, as well as diet and lifestyle. Second, in my humble opinion, my beloved is rather Obsessive Compulsive. Now of course, he denies this, but truly, everything in his life is in order, things get done immediately, no tasks await him - there is complete order in his world.

And then I show up -- ADHD challenged -- projects and project fall-out everywhere. I live one moment at a time with little planning -- I like to see life unfold naturally (he likes to make lists and organize details.) I also have three four-legged beloveds who love total dog anarchy and shed and drool to varying degrees. I feel like the character Pigpen in the Charlie Brown comics except that instead of dirt, papers, books and fur fly all around me. I used to joke that my dead body would someday be discovered under a mound of books and papers.

A large part of our cohabiting success has to do with our complimentary neuroses. We choose to allow them to complement rather than be conflictual. For example, he organizes all of our travel; he quietly prepares directions and maps when I set out on a journey, since I typically aim for my destination without directions and try to navigate by nature and luck. He is forever trying to brush dog hair off my clothes when I leave for work since I am oblivious to it. And I get out of his way when he is in a Must-Do-Now mode. Neither of us even think of changing the other.

But a larger part of what makes our relationship work, and the part I would trademark as an architectural godsend, is the layout of our home.

Gordon owns a 1923 home with two apartments upstairs and three downstairs; he was living in two of the downstairs apartments when I met him.

When we decided to live together we began remodeling the downstairs (and continue to do so! Will construction ever end??!!)

We have connected three apartments and designated them as his, hers and ours.

In the south apartment, he has his space decorated with oriental carpets, Victoria furniture, lots of antiques and breakables. It is beautiful and sophisticated (I say: in a funeral parlor sort of way). This is a space that would not know a spec of dust nor clutter. Dogs are never allowed in this space. It is a gated space to make sure there are no furry trespassers.

In the north apartment, I have my space decorated with:
a sanctuary facing east that captures the morning sun and is lined with crystal bowls, my torah stand, and an altar featuring items that are inspirational to me.
a sitting area with room for yoga and meditation with colorful art -- some modern, some eastern yogic.
a study with a door we can close if the papers and books become dangerous.
a studio where all my art projects and raw food preparation items can be out as various projects are in stages of completion (sometimes for extended periods of time.) And a door we can close when these projects threaten to overflow.

This is the side of the living space that the dogs have free reign -- dog anarchy rules. They can sleep on my loveseat, play with their toys, shed, drool, and unfortunately Ms Lex likes to pee in the sanctuary (on a pad of course -- not so good for sacred space).

And in the west apartment, we share space -- dogs are permitted, but with "house rules - no anarchy allowed." This is our dining room, kitchen, and bedroom. And it tends to show both of our lifestyles -- clean and clutter mix during the day, but evenings and mornings, all is organized and orderly, which is nice. (I merely carry my clutter back over to my side, easy peezy.)

Perhaps most couples have already figured this out. I know men have their den's or garages. I suppose women have their sewing rooms or private space too. And I know in a perfect world, couples could share a studio or a 40 foot sailboat -- but I don't live in a perfect world, nor am I a perfect person, preferring to call myself a work in progess, an unfolding life.

I love my home and my space and my life and all of this make for a loving relationship for all souls that inhabit it.

However, I will be so very relieved when we finish remodeling -- but then again, when someone is perhaps obsessive compulsive, and when a home was built in 1923, there will always be remodeling and mending and tending -- and for this, I merely say, "thank you for making our space beautiful."

May we be blessed with sacred space as we live our lives in balance and harmony -- this is my prayer for each of us.

A Poem for A New Year

2010-09-10T06:44:00.000-07:00

RENEWAL

We enter a new year, each year
As if we were entering a new home

We pass over a threshold in time,
Through new doors, to a new life

The year that is past casts a shadow,
A shadow of nostalgia and memory

Yet as spirits soar, and optimism
Lights the new rooms of life

The twelve-month house of life
To come seems bright and cheery

We pray for portals of peace,
We ask for windows of serenity

We petition for beams of security
We hope for light and health

May our prayers be answered,
May our New Home, our New Year be
Strong, alive and full of love.

by Rabbi Sylvan D. Kamens

and may we be blessed with clarity, balance, harmony along with our prayers for peace and love, light and laughter. shalom
Reb Ann

Our purpose, our journey

2010-08-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

I truly believe this:

Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny --
something to fulfill,
some message that has to be delivered,
some work that has to be completed.

You are not here accidentally --
You are here meaningfully.

There is purpose behind you.

The Universal Spirit intends to do something through you.

by Osho

What's a Nature Rabbi Doing in a Place Like This?

2010-07-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

A place like the trauma unit at a busy trauma center?
For one, it is a very spiritual and healing ministry.
For another -- it is about life.

So even though I am spending hours each week, stalking the halls of a hospital and trauma center, breathing hospital air, rather than hiking and kayaking in nature -- this journey is all about life.

I work with heroes.

I am truly in awe of their training, skill, dedication, energy, and zest for living and life. They are an inspiring team of people.

My heroes are the trauma team at Bayfront and I am their chaplain and part of this team.

My heroes range from the trauma docs, nurses and medics, respiratory, x-ray, to the housekeepers who come in to clean up the mess of the drama of trauma.

I watch with respect as this team comes together awaiting the patient -- posed and primed, each in their own place, each with their own role, ready to jump into whatever demands are placed upon them by the injuries to the patient about to be wheeled through the door.

The choreography is amazingly beautiful - rarely missing a beat. Sorting through dirty, blood stained clothes, torn tissue and exposed body parts -- looking for life and doing their utmost to sustain it. Vomit, urine, blood -- they are exposed to it all and it is all a part of the human dance for life that they sustain and support each day they come to work.

I have watched this dedicated team of individuals - from tattooed body piercers to graying grandparents - come together and fight for life, giving high-fives when they bring a person back from a Code, and sagging in defeat when they lose one.

And yet, even in defeat, if another patient rolls through the door, each member of this troupe pulls energy and courage and fight from deep within themselves and steps into place to save another life.

Every decision, every move they make could make the difference between life and death.

Some days it feels like a MASH unit -- some days it seems like the traumas never stop, they just keep rolling in....and through it all, this dedicated team of trauma workers continues to step up to the challenge, continues to fight for life, continues to use their skill and training, under pressure with constant challenge, and at the end of the day, they go home.

As their chaplain, I am so proud of each of them and honored to have the privilege to support them and be a member of their team.

My prayer is for their healing, and peace, and restful sleep at the end of their shifts.
My prayer is for them to always have that well of courage and energy and patience to draw from.
My prayer is full of gratitude for their work and dedication.
I am proud to work with my team of heroes.

Chaplain and Rabbi Ann White, July 2010

I Heard God Laughing!

2010-07-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

I am savoring, like kittens in a yarn basket, the beautiful poetry of Hafiz, a Sufi master from the 1300's, with translations by Daniel Ladinsky that are so pure they are crystal, and so loving they are divine. They take my breath away and I keep re-reading them, afraid to let them go, but knowing they will always surround my being with light and love and life, so I do.....and I share them with you.

Ladinsky says that all mysticism deals with the process of love and the ways in which one joins God (or Spirit) through love. The Master puts the student on intimate terms with God, who is called the Friend, the Beloved, the Beautiful one.

"Hafiz describes some of the preparations required for the inner 'Journey of Love.' He urges us to let go of habitual negative attitudes and unnecessary attachments, which only weigh us down. To make this Journey, we must be light, happy and free to go Dancing!

I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in darkness,
The Astonishing Light of Your own Being!"

Or how about: A Divine Invitation:

"You have been invited to meet
The Friend.

No one can resist a Divine Invitation.

That narrows down all our choices
To just two:

We can come to God
Dressed for Dancing,

Or

Be carried on a stretcher
To God's Ward."

As a hospital trauma chaplain - this last one resonates with me, big time.

May we all feel free to Dance with God, to have the Divine Dance Us, to breathe in this loving, laughing, beautiful dancing -- and truly dance like we are spirit, filled with light and love and life.
O Dear God, Let It Be.

Go Seek

2010-06-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am reading a beautiful journaling workbook by Matt Sutherland called: Go Seek: Journaling to Spiritual Fulfillment. It reminds me of when God told Abraham, "Lech Lecha" --"Go forth," but in order to go forth, he had to go within first.

Here is a yummy quote:

Nature calls in a language all but forgotten, and she rewards with the purest sound of all: silence.

May we all go forth, and seeking within and without -- as we traverse this wilderness called Life.

I am a Hottie! -- to ten year old boys.....

2010-05-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

I can draw them from miles away, these ten year old boys....

Just put on my new bathing suit...... yes...... I can now appear in public in a bathing suit (check out my physical fitness journey detailed in my Garden of Eden Vegan blog), grab my float and anchor, and find a quiet spot on the bay, and they come running.....or at least splashing, like moths to a bright light.

Here I am, just floating in the bay -- meditating on the gift of nature...knowing how precious and fragile these waters are as we anticipate the BP tragedy hitting our beaches soon. The birds are busy fishing, the waves soothing my body into relaxation. I scoop up some water to cool myself and....

I am splashed with lots of water and a young boy, Tyler, says, "Hey Lady! Can I splash you?" as he splashes me.

"No thanks, Tyler.... I'm just fine," I answer, wiping the water out of my eyes.

I then close my eyes and try to reconnect to that special place to sink into with my mind, body and spirit and then I feel my raft rocking,

"Hey Lady, want me to pull you around?"

"No Tyler, I am fine."

And then two other young boys join him and they start an underwater farting contest. With giggles and splashing.

Finally, lunch time and they get called into the park.

Just as I reconnect with my solitude and meditation, I hear another hoard of young boys galloping in my direction, with their father shouting, "Stay right there, I have to go to the bathroom." (The public toilet is just beyond where I am floating, beyond the beach and into the park.)

And I thought, "Drat -- why didn't you call them to shore. Can't you see they are now surrounding my raft? Why do they have to 'stay right there' when they are wrecking my peace and solitude?"

They boys decided that burping was more fun than farting and they would dive in the water, almost capsizing me, and then rise up with these loud toad-sounding burps, splashing me with their dives and filling the air with their boisterous laughing. Finally, Dad called them to shore for lunch too.

Before a third batch of proud burpers and farters arrived, I decided it was best if I pulled up anchor (a five pound weight that has already gotten more use as an anchor than it ever did as an exercise weight) and headed for shore.

Moral of the story?
probably none

maybe just the joy of being a kid when life is full of discovering your body and its functions.

maybe the realization that we all share this planet, a (s)aging woman looking for nature and solitude, farting ten year old boys, and BP, greedy polluters wrecking the beauty of what we share.

My personal vow, besides thinking of ways to help heal the planet one person at a time, is to get to this beach as often as I can; to savor it and enjoy it so that someday, if we have no beaches, I can tell my grandchildren about a time when we did.

As our sages say: we do not have to complete the project, but we cannot ignore it and stand idly by -- we must begin work on solving it; we must begin and continue work on tikkun olam: healing the world.

Join me.

Many blessings sent out to each of you.

My Spiritual Journey -- through this wilderness called Life

2010-05-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

The spiritual journey from Passover to Shavuot is a metaphor for the spiritual journey I traveled during this same time period.

Passover is the Jewish celebration of the liberation of the Hebrew slaves from Egyptian bondage. Yet, it is seven weeks before the Israelites can be spiritually ready to accept the revelation of the Torah from Mt. Sinai. During those seven weeks, we work to prepare ourselves spiritually - to shed old habits that no longer serve us, and to declutter our minds, bodies, and spirits so we can let the light and wisdom of Torah open unto us.

At Passover this year, I was still a rabbi with a synagogue congregation. At Shavuot this year, I am a rabbi with the world as a congregation. I needed to traverse a spiritual journey during this time - a journey of healing, forgiveness, acceptance, openness and growth in order to make this transition the powerful and life affirming one that it truly is.

I pictured myself at passover as wrapping myself in a cocoon - partly to protect myself from some mean-spirited barbs, partly to give myself solace, partly to find peace and inner light--just wrapping myself in a healing space for this spiritual journey. I was blessed to be able to take a three week transatlantic crossing to Europe during which time I allowed myself to just BE. I also learned and practiced the art of grace.

I meditated, wrote, studied and luxuriated in the moment.

Upon my return, I had only one job, not two. I only worked nights as a hospital/trauma chaplain, and not nights as a chaplain AND days as a rabbi. At first I felt like I was playing hookie -- and then I realized that I just needed to stretch out into this new life, this new chapter.

On Shavuot, I awoke feeling like a butterfly newly liberated from its chrysalis -- with sticky, uncertain wings opening and closing, fanning the air making ready for flight.

Also on Shavuot, I awoke to find that ten years of my work, writing, studies, research, sermons, classes -- everything - vanished. The day before, when making a disc of our vacation photos, I inadvertently reformatted and wiped clean my external disc where I stored all my work.

Wow.

I was stunned. Ten years of work gone - in thin air.

And yet -- Shavuot was my new beginning. The Universe was letting me know: Kiddo -- you are letting go of ALL of the past. ALL of it -- every itty bit of it.

Was it good? Was it bad? It just was and is. Not good or bad, it just is.

Actually, in a way, it feels liberating.

I stand open and ready for the adventure -- and excited to see where this next path will lead. So far, I love where it is headed.

May we all be blessed with new beginnings, each moment, each day - may we see creation unfold before us and see the world with new eyes -- eyes made for wonder.

Dusting off an old cliche

2010-04-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

Maybe old cliches survive because the message moves us in some way. This is one posted on my desk, and I do believe I follow it ---

some of you may have even heard me "sing like no one is listening!" -- for that, I apologize to your ears -- but my heart was sure happy.

Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you've never been hurt
Live like this is your first and last day on the planet

I just made up the last line.

Go forth today with dancing feet, songs from your heart and knowing you are loved -- share your beauty and joy with all you meet. What a wonderful world this is.

a beautiful thought

2010-04-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

from Maya Angelo:

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past will be different.

I am there. Thank you, my sister, my friend, my mother, my teacher: Dr. Maya Angelo

Living the Omer -- Self Care First

2010-04-20T06:22:00.000-07:00

I know who my readers are --

You are loving, caring, giving folks who typically do for others until you drop into bed at night. You are spiritual and want the very best for everyone.

And you often forget to put yourself in front of the list for love and care.

As a rabbi and chaplain in an intense trauma/drama experience each day, I am glad that I learned self-care. It truly is a life saver.

Do I practice it all the time? No, sorry to say. But I do practice it each day and the habit of practicing it continues to increase the time I am in self-care mode.

I urge each of you to make self-care a priority. Does this make you selfish? Hardly. It makes us effective at being able to serve others.

In this Living the Omer series, my goal is to have us be aware of the connections of our mind, body and soul. In the self-care arena, beyond the obvious "get plenty of sleep, eat nutritious foods, drink water, etc.," there are wonderful techniques for loving self care connecting ourselves with our bodies in an emotional and spiritual and healing way.

As you get to know your body, you will find areas that scream for healing touch and you will learn techniques to soothe them. Here are some of mine -- see if they work for you.

My most healing place is my sternum: I just lay the palm of my hand flat across this area and breathe.

Another place is the third eye on my forehead: I use the tips of my fingers and apply a gentle pressure.

Taping the sternum with your finger tips in a drumming fashion helps gather courage or energy to meet a tense situation

Sometimes I rub my hands together to generate more energy and then place both hands gently over my face.

Foot rubs are always relaxing; put pressure where the balls of your feet meet your toes; also, separate your toes as much as you can.

Good posture helps the flow of chi/energy and gets things moving.

When I lay down, I often like to lift my legs perpendicular to my body for a change in flow - similar to the headstands I did in yoga in my younger years.

Massage your hands.

Use your thumbs and message right under your jaw bones.

These are some of the many body point techniques I routinely use in my day to connect the body to the energy flow or spirit. See if any of them soothe you -- or be conscious of the ones you know that are personal to you and use them

The more we can take good care of ourselves, the more we are keeping our spiritual lamps bright, the more we can make a difference in this world serving, loving, and caring for others.

Go forth with a peaceful and vibrant body, mind and spirit to light the way in this crazy world.