http://www.navigatethelake.com Lake Norman Navigator en afuhrman@navigatethelake.com Copyright 2008 2008-12-17T15:46:24-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/waiting_for_my_daughter_to_break_my_heart/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/waiting_for_my_daughter_to_break_my_heart/#When:14:46:24Z By Joe Melton As Christmas gets closer, our children’s metabolism is cranking up even higher and they’re pinging off the walls even more than usual. That’s usually fun to watch.I’ve always enjoyed this time of year, and the children make it even more fun. My wife and I feed off of their fervor for Christmas morning, basking in the excitement and warmth this season brings about. But along with the warmth, I feel a bit of a chill blowing in from the future. The day is coming when our children stop being so openly affectionate. I know it’s a part of growing up; asserting independence and so on, but still I rue the day. I’d heard what other parents have said. “My kids were so sweet and cute when they were younger, but they’re not as affectionate now. They feel as if they have to act ‘grown up’.”  Time and again I heard how emotionally draining it was when kids get too old to initiate open displays of affection. Yet I believed it wouldn’t bother me. My kids might dispense with the hugs, but I would relish their newfound maturity and the ability to carry on serious conversations about weighty matters. Politics, not Pokémon. Who needs so many hugs when you can finally have profound, reflective conversations with your children? I wasn’t emotionally tougher than other dads. I just knew it was coming and was much more realistic about it. So what if I’d never carry my children on my shoulders again? Never walk them to the bus stop, little hand enfolded in big, or see them scamper across a room, arms outstretched, squealing an effusive “Daddy!!!” I’d miss it, but not get all mucusy and depressed when they began to roll their eyes when I kissed their cheeks. Not this dad. The testosterone reserve was up to date and I was not going to end up as a mushy greeting card stereotype. I was wrong. We’re not there yet with either of our kids. No hugs have been spurned, no cheeks averted, no eyes rolled. Nothing that should give me pain has occurred. But I see it on the horizon. We’ve had an occasional flash of it with our oldest though, and with the hints of the emotional independence of a young child from her father comes, as it turns out, much more pain than I expected. I know I can still influence the outcome somewhat. I can and will continue displaying my affection. I’ll show her it’s always ok to be lovingly demonstrative, and I’ll hold on to her little hand as long as I can, because I’ve become aware that despite my knowledge of its inevitability, and the donning of my emotional armor, this change is gonna hurt. But if I do this right, forever etched in her mind will be the knowledge that she’s my little girl, and my hand and shoulder will always be there for her. Only Online 2008-12-17T14:46:24-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/craft_ideas_celebrate_three_holidays/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/craft_ideas_celebrate_three_holidays/#When:14:40:48Z By Megan Sprague Singing “hello” with the help of puppet “Big Red,” Rolly Pollies art instructor Marcia Gutekanst kicked off the season with fun crafts, celebrating three distinctly different holidays. “There’s so many different ways that people celebrate the holidays,” she said cheerfully to the kids as they gathered around her on the carpet. “First, we’re going to make a dreidel, to celebrate Hanukah.” Following the curriculum created by head art instructor Robin Webster, a 9”x12” dreidel cut out of white construction paper was the kid’s first project. Placing white and blue paint into small bowls, the children were allowed to paint their dreidel any way they choose with small foam brushes. After they finished their masterpiece, glitter was the final touch. “A dreidel is actually used to play a game,” Gutekanst explained to the children. “Each side has special words in Hebrew.” Hanukah, as well as Christmas and Kwanzaa, will be explained more in-depth over the following weeks, with Gutekanst helping the children learn through books on the holidays and through more creative projects. “Kwanzaa is another holiday that they celebrate in Africa,” she told the children animatedly. “We’re going to make a special candle holder called a Kinara that will hold red, black and green candles. Most countries in Africa have flags those colors.” To correspond with Kwanzaa, the eight children glued a brown Kinara-shaped piece of construction paper to the bottom of another paper, then pasted construction paper candles and flames in each of the “holders.” Each looked a little different, depending on the child, but Gutekanst was unconcerned. “It’s all about the process, not the project,” she said breezily. “We don’t show examples of our projects because we want the kids to be free to express the craft the way they see fit. We use guidance, not guidelines.” Lastly, the Christmas craft was a wreath and was sure to be treasured by the parents. On green construction paper wreaths, each child placed their handprints using green paint and dipped their fingers in red paint to create berries. As the children furrowed their brows in concentration and carefully completed each activity, Gutekanst and assistant Amy Syracuse rolled up sleeves and praised the children constantly for a job well done. “I think it’s important for the kids to learn different traditions, because out of curiosity comes love, rather than apprehension, worry or fear,” Gutekanst said, smiling as she surveyed the room. “We need to celebrate the differences. It opens an avenue for discussion between parent and child, and through exploration comes understanding. Traditions make us who we are.” Gutekanst hoped that showing the children holidays they may not have known about, it will open their eyes. “Maybe it will inspire the parents to take their children to the library and check out a book to learn more,” she said hopefully. “It’s wonderful that at this facility we can teach about all three and recognize all traditions; it’s nice to have that freedom.” INSTRUCTIONS: Dreidel Supplies: 1) 9”x12” white construction paper 2) Pattern of dreidel 3) Blue and white washable tempera paint 4) Small bowls 5) Small foam brushes 6) Silver and blue glitter Instructions: After an adult cuts out the paper into the dreidel shape, pour the blue and white paints into a small bowl. Using the small foam brushes, allow the child to paint a design of their choice onto the dreidel. After the child is satisfied with their work, while the paint is still wet, pour glitter onto the creation. Hand-Painted Wreath Supplies: 1) 12”x8” light green construction paper 2) Wreath pattern 3) Washable tempera paint in red and green 4) Paint trays (for an easier option, pour the paint into the lid of a plastic shoe box for the perfect amount) 5) Foam rollers 6) Hole punch 7) Small bowl 8) White yarn Instructions: After an adult cuts the construction paper into a wreath pattern and punches a hole near the top, pour the green paint onto the top of the shoebox lid. Using a roller, coat the child’s hand in a layer of green paint and then place the hand onto the wreath, repeating the pattern around the entire wreath. Pouring the red paint in a small bowl, allow the child to dip their finger into it and dot “berries” around the handprint “holly.” After the wreath is dry, put a piece of white yarn through the hole at the top of the wreath to hang. Kinara Supplies: 1) 12x18” white construction paper 2) Kinara pattern (a stair-step shape with three steps on each side and one step on top) in brown construction paper 3) Kinara candles (3 rectangles of green, 3 of red and one in black) 4) 7 cut-out “flames” for the candles 5) Glue (watered down glue with a paint brush is recommended to thoroughly and easily coat the Kinara and the candles) Instructions: After an adult cuts out the Kinara, candles and flames, have the child brush glue onto the back of the Kinara and place it on the white construction paper. Paste the three green cut out candles and their corresponding flames on one side of the “stair-step” and the red candles on the other side. Glue the black candle on the top. 2008-12-17T14:40:48-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/luckys_plott_explains_n.c._state_dog_to_kids/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/luckys_plott_explains_n.c._state_dog_to_kids/#When:14:38:38Z By Megan Sprague When fate brought Libby Bagby and her dog, Lucky together, she was thrilled. But the retired teacher never imagined he would prompt her to write a book. “I never thought I would write anything,” she said, a little amazed. “After I rescued Lucky by the side of the road, I learned that he was a Plott Hound, which is North Carolina’s state dog. I didn’t know we had a state dog, so I felt a little ignorant. I was embarrassed, but after I asked some friends and family, no one else knew either.” The idea of the state dog is only 20 years old, and is now usually taught in the fourth grade, explaining why many, including Bagby, weren’t familiar with it. “As I was doing research on the state dog, I found that there were very few books on the subject,” she said. “Plus, all of the books I found were on an adult level and there was nothing for the children to use while researching reports on the state symbols. I was inspired to fill that void.” ‘Staying on Track with Lucky’s Plott’ took Bagby three years to complete and is a fictional account starring her dog. It tells the tale of how the two met while sharing facts about his breed. “The first 14 pages teach the children about the characteristics of the dog and how it’s typically used to hunt animals like raccoons,” she said. “I consulted breeders and hunters and did a lot of research before it was printed. I did my homework for sure!” Bagby has been retailing the book herself and travels with her husband and Lucky all over the state to do readings and visit schools as well as public libraries. “In the Lake Norman area, I’ve been to Davidson, Charlotte and Gastonia; I’ve also traveled a lot in Wake, Surrey and Catawba counties. I’m really trying to branch out and spread our heritage.” Lucky has been very popular with the children at each site he visits. “All the kids just love to meet him, and he’s such a good animal,” Bagby said. “Some of the kids at the readings don’t have pets, so they really like giving him a pet and he really enjoys it, too. We also get a lot of letters and drawings after we make an appearance. They’re so sweet and it’s great to read what sticks with the kids.” While researching information to write her children’s book, Bagby acquired so much information she decided to do an adult non-fiction book on the same topic. “I’m going to call it ‘Talking Plotts’ and it’s full of priceless North Carolina history that needs to be preserved,” she said animatedly. “Hopefully it will be finished next year.” To find out more information on either the author or both of Bagby’s books, visit http://www.luckysplott.com.   2008-12-17T14:38:38-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/cafe_is_toast_of_davidson/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/cafe_is_toast_of_davidson/#When:14:37:08Z By Megan Sprague Davidson has a new “Toast” of the town. Toast, the newest restaurant on Main Street, has been a popular stop since May, when it first opened its doors. “We’ve been doing really well so far,” said bartender Josh Smith. “All of our customers are becoming regulars and they’re all getting to know each other. It’s a good atmosphere.” Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner, customers have already started to identify their favorites. “Our crab Benedict and raspberry walnut pancakes are doing great in the morning, and at night, we have a brand new menu, so any of our chicken or filet features have been doing well,” Smith said. Their menu “constantly evolves” and suggestions are welcome. “We change the menu with the seasons and we also take input for new dishes,” Smith said. “We had one customer suggest a peanut butter and banana French toast, so we tried it and it’s really good,” said manager Eric Argabrite. Food is not the only thing catching people’s attention at the hot spot. Toast has the distinction of having the first “liquor by the drink” bar on Main Street. “We wanted to do it at our location in Huntersville, but there was no room to put a bar,” explained Argabrite. “We started from scratch at this location, and it just seemed perfect.” Smith said the restaurant had no problems instituting the bar, and the idea has been really popular. “Coffee drinks have been big, like the Irish expresso,” he said. “We also have martini nights on Thursday and we sell a lot of apple and Irish martinis, which has vodka and Bailey’s in it, with crème de menthe.” The restaurant also hired a popular bartender, Hannah, who shares stories about the town while she pours your beverage. “She has a good repoire with the customers and she’s really personable,” Argabrite said. “You talk to her once and you feel like you’ve known her for five years.” Smith describes the restaurant as upscale dining with a casual feel. “It’s a great, tight-knit community,” he added. “Come in for the friendly service and the fresh food.”   2008-12-17T14:37:08-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/im_dreaming_of_a_stress-free_christmas/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/im_dreaming_of_a_stress-free_christmas/#When:14:36:14Z By Amy Fuhrman Every year, as I take down the pumpkin decorations from the front porch, I have the same dream—a stress-free Christmas.I have visions of all my shopping being finished before Thanksgiving and I can just picture my house being the first on the block to sparkle with lights and decorations. Like every year, though, December rolls around and bursts my bubble. No presents purchased. Not one sprig of holly hung. The late Thanksgiving didn’t help—with every Christmas carol on the drive home from New Orleans, I added two more holiday to-do items to my list. I did have high hopes that this year would be less stressful. My family has decided to skip most of the presents and give the money we would have spent to someone who needs it more than us. But, because everyone loves to have something to open Christmas morning, we agreed to exchange small gifts that were high in thought and low in cost. Here’s what I’ve discovered—thoughtful, inexpensive gifts require way more thought than things that mean less and cost more. I may not be wearing a path through the mall this year, but I’ve definitely been stretching my imagination, trying to find a way to say “Merry Christmas and I love you” for $5 or less. To keep things simple, I decided to bake for some of the people on my list—a great idea until you consider the fact that I can’t bake. I’ve spent way too much time looking for a recipe that allows for limited skills but still looks and tastes great. With three weeks to go until the big day, it looks like I won’t be having my dream, stress-free Christmas. But, like every Christmas past, all the hurry will be forgotten by Christmas morning as we sit around the tree, munching on some of my over-baked muffins and opening our $5 gifts. Columns 2008-12-17T14:36:14-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/surprise_announcement_draws_even_bigger_surprise_reactions/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/surprise_announcement_draws_even_bigger_surprise_reactions/#When:04:53:00Z By Jessica Norman jnorman@mediageneral.com Family planning for the Normans started before we got married.When we announced our engagement my mother-in-law started dreaming of grandchildren. When we moved into our first home, the dreaming became not-so-subtle pressure. As months rolled by the not-so-subtle pressure turned to pleading. My husband and I brainstormed ways to orchestrate the perfect storm. We knew if we found just the right mixture of surprise, diversion and documentation, then our announcement would be remembered for generations to come. The plan went off without a hitch, and as my mother-in-law threw what can only be described as a hissy fit in the middle of a family get-together, the stunned looks frozen on the faces of our extended family told us that we had achieved the pinnacle of baby breaking news. I turned to my uncle, who brought it all back to reality: “Your life is over.“ That was just the beginning of completely unexpected reactions. Later in the evening we watched as an aunt wrangled her two sons off each other, both attempting to hit the other in the crotch. She looked up with desperate defeat as she gave us our next piece of advice: “Pray for a girl.“ But it was my dad’s reaction that came as the biggest surprise. After hearing the news and seeing the ultrasound, he sat motionless in the armchair staring blankly across the room. As they left that night my husband looked confused. “Don’t worry,“ I told him, “It hasn’t really hit him yet. He’ll give us a sign when it does.“ One week later he called. Family 2008-12-04T04:53:00-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/how_to_keep_trees_healthy/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/how_to_keep_trees_healthy/#When:13:52:00Z By Don Breedlove One of nature’s resources, the shade tree, can give us much pleasure.  But when this tree begins to decline, it can be difficult and nearly impossible to cure. Here are a few reasons why trees decline or die: 1) Too much fill dirt or soil brought in and placed over the root within the drip line.  2) Damage done to tree roots during construction or underground utility line installations. 3) Competition from surrounding trees and vegetation. 4) Soil compaction from a change in traffic patterns. 5) Poor internal water drainage away from the roots. I have noticed that the tops of as many trees that were bare or partially bare of leaf growth with just bare limbs remaining.  Most of the trees in question are very large oaks trees. The recommendations range from removing to topping by tree services. Many people face these problems when they build on a wooded lot.  I would like to offer some recommendations in the interest of tree preservation in the landscape. Some common questions raised in trying to asses the probable cause are: If the tops of the trees are starting to die do they need to be severely pruned ?  No, unless there are dead limbs that become hazardous to property, pets or humans.  This is usually an indication of stress and/or root damage.  The trees can possibly put out new branches in the next few years and resume normal growth.  You can encourage this process by fertilizing and mulching a large area around the tree before spring growth starts. Is topping an accepted practice in saving a tree?  No, it is a practice to create a better-looking shape in growth recovery.  The maximum removal is one third of the crown if necessary.  The practice of thinning to reduce breakage and to improve horizontal growth is more acceptable in reducing future problems. Some trees grow so dense on the inside causing excess small to medium size branches to die from a lack of light. Some of the smaller new sprouts will also compete for expansion space on a larger branch and end up so poorly attached that wind and ice will cause them to break off.  Pecans and Bradford Pears are a good example. Can a tree that is showing stress be revived by intense fertilization along the drip line of the tree?  Yes, if the recommended rate is10 to 20 pounds of 10-10-10 or equivalent per 1,000 feet square area are followed. Older trees will make a growth response primarily from nitrogen fertilizer.  The soil should be tested for young establishing trees as they still might need all three (nitrogen, Phosphorus and potassium) of the basic fertilizer elements plus Iime. It is suggested the fertilizer be applied halfway between the trunk and the drip line. I would like to offer additional considerations.  If the cost of your tree estimate is prohibited to your budget, try to negotiate a price with a tree service to remove limbs only and you take the responsibility for the firewood and branch clean up. The cheaper estimates may be from services that have no liability insurance.  It is always a good practice to enter into a written contract with all details listed.  Ask for references and credentials from the company. Columns 2008-11-18T13:52:00-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/self_defense_about_more_than_strength/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/self_defense_about_more_than_strength/#When:13:49:00Z By Amy Fuhrman Growing up in New Orleans, a city known for its crime as well as its good food, I was always on the alert. You’d hear the stories on the evening news about carjackings, robberies, rapes. While I don’t feel nearly as on-edge here in North Carolina, it’s still always in the back of my mind—if someone tried to attack me, would I know what to do? But the idea of taking a self-defense class has always freaked me out. Having someone come at me, even for pretend, was way out of my comfort zone. But I figured if I was scared of a self-defense class, then I was probably exactly the kind of person who needed to take one. So I signed up for the Women’s Self-Defense seminar last weekend at the Gym Company. Instructor Pete Napier started to go through the moves with a male assistant, and I admit, I was skeptical. What chance would a much smaller woman have against a male attacker? But as Napier explained, it’s not all about strength and size. I’d always envisioned a class like that teaching women how to fight—and there are classes that do just that, very effectively—but the main idea here was to use a few simple moves to buy yourself enough time to get free and run. The hardest part of the class was overcoming my aversion to physical aggression. When Napier encouraged me to hit him as hard as I could, well—I couldn’t really do it. And each time I’d knock him to the ground, I’d apologize. A natural-born fighter, I’m not. Then Napier posed a very simple question every woman has to focus on when she finds herself in a dangerous situation—“Am I going to live, or am I going to die?“ If you’re attacked, there’s really not a lot of room for in-between. I’m certainly not an expert at self-defense, but I did learn a few valuable lessons and got the answer to a very important question: If someone tries to attack me, I now know what to do. 2008-11-18T13:49:00-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/bring_your_own_baby/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/bring_your_own_baby/#When:13:48:00Z AmStar Cinemas Mooresville 14 offers B.Y.O.B. – Bring Your Own Baby.  This program provides parents and caretakers with young children the opportunity to attend specially selected first-run films in a baby friendly environment every Tuesday morning or early afternoon.  Tickets will be available by the preceding Wednesday via the website or at the box-office at regular matinee pricing. Visit the AmStar Cinemas website (http://www.amstarcinemas.com) for future film titles and show time information. Events 2008-11-18T13:48:00-05:00 http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/exploring_marriage_and_personality_types/ http://www.navigatethelake.com/index.php/site/exploring_marriage_and_personality_types/#When:13:45:00Z By Dr. Bill Mitcham Today’s Topic: “Marriage and Personality Types (Part 3)” Are you married to a spouse who see things in black and white and perceives right and wrong based on logical analysis? This spouse may have little ability to see anything as gray, i.e., in between black and white. If this is a description of your partner, chances are you are married to a Thinking Type Personality Partner (TTPP). If you get irritated with your spouse’s unemotional and matter of fact approach to life and wonder why she/he can’t sometime “just follow the heart” on some issues, you may be the exact opposite. You may be an Intuitive Type Personality Partner (ITPP). This series of articles is exploring Dr. Carl Jung’s Personality Types and how they complement or challenge marriage mates. ITPPs seem to have a sixth sense. They just “know” things because they are able to see beyond the facts to the relationship between things. They are good at seeing the whole picture without seeing all the details. They are great at putting together a puzzle with many part missing. TTPPs roll their eyes at ITPPs whey they ignor the “facts” staring them in the face. TTPPs say “It will not work” because of A, B, and C. ITPPs ask “Why it won’t work?” and look for a D which might make it work. Thinkers and Intuitives married to each other never have a dull moment. They are constantly challenging each others’ sense of reality. Thinkers look for external validation of their truth while Intuitives find internal validation in the inner world of creativity and imagination. Intuitives get bored easily with always doing the same thing over and over again. Thinkers like the order of sequence and feel in control when order is followed and upheld. Thinkers can be tough-minded. For instance, if a Thinker is a supervisor and the business is losing money, the Thinker supervisor will lay off employees to save the business and not lose a wink of sleep. Intuitives supervisors would search for new ways to increase business rather than disrupt the lives of employees by dismissing them. Thinking spouses face conflict differently than Intuitives. The TTPP would analyse the conflict, brainstorm on ways to fix the problem and then implement the plan. An ITPP would have hunches and assumptions about the conflict and in their sleep an answer would appear out of the blue. You can readily see that the style of the TTPP and the ITPP would call for patience and understanding in both directions. Thinking spouses need to discover the invisible world of relationships and illogical connections. There is nothing logical about love and we don’t have a black and white answer for all problems. Intuitive spouses need to keep their brain in gear, especially when interchanging with a Thinking spouse. Some facts need to be considered in decision-making. “Flying by the seat of the pants” might work in some situations, but planning for retirement is not one of them. TTPPs and ITPPs can make a great complementary team. Next week we will examine the last combination, which is the Feeling Type married to the Intuitive Type. Dr. Bill Mitcham is the Director/Therapist at The Marriage Maintenance Center at 442 South Main, Suite 20, Davidson, NC 28036.  He is a State Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and can be reached at 704-408-4187or email at bmitcham@bellsouth.net.     Only Online 2008-11-18T13:45:00-05:00