Scripture tells us that we should handle conflict differently. First, it says that if we can, we should overlook the offense against us. While at times this may be difficult, by God’s grace – it’s not impossible. Of course, it’s important when we choose this route that we are doing it for the good of the other person, and not to avoid a situation that will be difficult for us. If, for instance, we recognize that this particular sin is unlikely to be repeated and the only purpose of confronting it would be to bring restitution to us, we may choose to brush our “rights” to restitution aside and overlook the offense. However, if the situation needs to be addressed because a continued pattern of sin is being developed, than oftentimes the most loving thing we can do is to talk about it with the other person. We may be willing to overlook it, but if it’s creating discord in their relationship with God,  we should address it.

The real question becomes how we should address it and again, Scripture makes this clear. It says to go to the person, not to anyone else, and bring the issue before them. The purpose of this dialogue is to restore the other person – into a right relationship with you, the person the person they offended, but more importantly into a right relationship with God. If this is the goal – if this is our aim – I’m increasingly convinced that we need to forgive them before the confrontation ever begins. After all – restoration is difficult if both people are at odds with each other. If the person addressing the issue has already forgiven, then with love and compassion they can help the offending individual see the consequences of their sinful actions. It doesn’t mean that having the confrontation is any less difficult, but it does mean that you can enter the conversation with confidence that your focus is on the good of the other – because you have already forgiven the sin against you.

While this may be easy to write, this isn’t easy to do. To offer forgiveness before it is sought is only possible because we recognize how much our Heavenly Father has forgiven us. In all honesty, the closer that the person is to us, the harder it is because we think that they should “know better” than to hurt us in this way. And in all likelihood, maybe they should. But God’s own children – the ones that He created – sinned against Him. Our decisions to act contrary to His will were the reasons that His Son willing gave up His throne room in Heaven in order to die a gruesome death on the cross. If He was willing to go to such extremes to offer us a restored relationship, can’t we forgive others who sin against us?

• A New Acronym – John Piper gives us a new way to help us aim at remembering Christ throughout our days and by consequence, our lives.

• Wishing the Bible Was  Self Help Book – Jon Acuff on wanting the Bible to provide quick and easy answers, when sometimes it call us to difficult things.

• The Hungering Spirit – Ravi Zacharias on the disappointment that pleasure can bring when it is found to be empty of lasting value, and people’s longing for God.

• Why I Hope Books Never Die – Kevin DeYoung on the beloved printed book and why he thinks that they’ll be around for awhile.

• This Leader Needs Prayer – Thom Rainer on the prayer needs of someone in a leadership position.

For many, however, Lent has become a 40-day purging process. Instead of a sacrificial act with the purpose of gazing at Christ more fully, it has become something of a springtime New Year’s resolution – focused on themselves and not on their Savior. Perhaps this is because we are unaccustomed to the nature of true sacrifice and so the things that we offer are merely tokens in order to “live better” rather than meaningful expressions in order to “die better.” After all, the Christian life is about dying to ourselves for the sake of God’s purpose and plan. Lenten sacrifice is intended to help us do this to a greater extent – which is hard to do if our “sacrifice” doesn’t cost us a thing. If we’re only to give up that which is inconsequential for the sake of God’s Kingdom, it is hard to see how we will truly die to ourselves in over to live for Him. 

As we look to Easter, we are reminded of not only of what Christ accomplished on the Cross – but all that He gave up in order to do so. He gave up the riches of Heaven in order to engage His enemies in a war of love. He left the Place where He was honored and praised for a world that would despise and condemn Him. He sacrificed all so that we might have all. And as we follow in His footsteps may we know that the purpose of our sacrifice is the same as His – to bring people into a redeemed relationship with our Heavenly Father so that they may enjoy Him forever.

• When Your Son Asks – A reminder for parents that their “first audience” (in terms of importance not sequence) for their testimony should be their kids.

• Entitlement – David Murray on the one entitlement we really have, and what that means for all the others were tempted to own.

• Scripture Memory Helps – A roundup of resources to help you memorize Scripture more. (H/T)

• Spoken Word: 31 Woman – A video on the modern day Proverbs 31 Woman (I don’t know anything about the organization, but the video is compelling.)

• Lenten Readings – Noel Piper will be posting 40 days of Scripture readings to get hearts and minds focused on the cross as we approach Easter.

• Always Mardi Gras and Never Easter - I highly recommend this article by Dr. Russell Moore on his reflections about Mardi Gras and the common temptation to indulge the flesh with the indent of later making a less-than-genuine quest for redemption.

It’s the reason that people all over the world wish that vegetables tasted like chocolate. It’s the same reason why another contingent of people spend money that they don’t have to participate in hobbies that they enjoy. It’s also why the most obedient person generally isn’t the person who is doing it because they “have to” but the person who takes pleasure in pleasing their Heavenly Father. They obey to an increasing measure because they have aligned their joy with His.

And while I realize all the above, I’ve also realized that I’m slow to apply this to all areas of my life. For example, one thing that God says He loves is a cheerful giver. Not a giver who gives without complaining, or a giver who gives because they’re commanded to (although both are good), but one who takes pleasure in giving. One for whom giving is a joy.

And if something brings me joy, I should want to do it to an increasing measure.

Which means that I go the extra mile with a friend, even though I should only “have” to go one.

It means I give the extra dollar even though it means I can’t do something I want.

It means that instead of trying to figure out whether there’s someone else who can meet the need, I look at the opportunities for me to give and I jump at the chance to do so.

My Christian walk should be characterized by increased generosity – in time, effort and resources. 

Because I take pleasure in it.

And the things that I like, I will do to an increasing measure.

And I want to increase my cheer.

• What makes “Worship Music” at act of worship? – Denny Burk provides 3 criteria from James Smith to help delineate between worship and performance in front of a church congregation.

• Clothing in Church: Why It Matters – A interesting reflection on why what we wear to a worship service may have significance (even if it’s not of main significance.)

• More Love To, From and In Thee – Kevin DeYoung writes a beautiful (and short) piece on remembering what it means that Jesus is love.

• Jeremy Lin Infographic – In case you haven’t gotten your “Linsanity” fill, here’s a recap of his impact, in pictures. (H/T)

• Pray with Your Books Closed – For those who get the privilege of teaching God’s Word, “we shouldn’t open our books without praying, but we better pray without opened books.”

Yet, I’m reminded that I serve a God who does great things with small offerings. Whether it’s a boy’s lunch miraculously serving thousands, or a widow’s mite that was a testament to true sacrifice, God specializes in using acts of obedience to accomplish far more than they would on their own. Esther’s willingness to approach the king on her uncle’s godly advice brought an evil man to justice and saved a nation. It must have seemed futile to her – yet through it God accomplished much.

So it is with our own acts of obedience. We may not always see how God chooses to use them but we can trust that He is. Not only for the purpose of our growth and pursuit of Him, but for others’ as well. Offering what we have – whether it’s a prayer on someone’s behalf, a home cooked meal, a hospital visit, or an encouraging note – may not seem like much, but God may use it in mighty ways to draw someone to Him. Our concern isn’t the degree to which God will accomplish something through it, but the degree of our obedience. And if we do what He asks we can be assured that He will use it for His purpose.

Our small offerings of faith and obedience may never save a nation like Esther did. Then again, she probably didn’t think hers would either.

• The Perfect Storm for Gospel-Driven Sanctification – Jared Wilson looks at what it means to be saved and sanctified by God’s grace.

• The Forgotten Influence of Martin Luther – An overview of the impact that Luther had.

• What Unbelieving Pagans Know About God – Justin Taylor takes at look at Romans 1 to discuss what unbelievers know, and what then they are accountable for.

• Learning to Stand - Tim Challies discusses what it means to stand with the armor of God.

Being at the receiving end of God’s discipline isn’t a fun place to be.

While there may be some comfort in knowing that “the Lord disciplines those He loves” there is also the realization that God will go to great lengths in order to prompt His children towards repentance and living a life that is pleasing to Him. He desires holiness. In His graciousness, He has provided His Spirit to believers in order to equip them towards such a high calling.  His desire is for us to live in right relationship with Him because that is what He has created us to do. When we live otherwise, He often uses the painful consequences of those decisions to bring us back towards a right relationship with Him.

However, while we may recognize that God can do good through it, most of us don’t like discipline. Most of us would rather forgo the painful consequences, and when we experience them, we often rail against the God who is using them for our good. Yet, this wasn’t Zechariah’s response (See Lk. 1:5-25; 57-66 for the complete report). When Zechariah was told he would have a son, he questioned the veracity of that statement, and he was disciplined for his distrust. The fact that God made him mute may have made it difficult for him to complain, yet he responded to this discipline in two very important ways. First – he obeyed. The angel of God had told him what he was to name his son, and he did so accordingly. Secondly, his very first words were ones that praised God. He could have opened his mouth and talked about how good it was to speak again, or how difficult it was to endure the time of discipline. However, he chose neither of these things. His first words were ones of blessing. He responded to correction with thanksgiving and praise.

Perhaps we would be inclined to think this was easy. After all, Zechariah had months to think about his response and to get his heart right before God. However, if we couldn’t speak for months, would our first words be ones of thanks? When we undergo God’s discipline, is our first response to give Him praise?

• Love Rushing Like a Dam Break – Jared Wilson on the power and magnitude of God’s forgiveness.

• Reading the Next Classic Together –  Tim Challies is inviting people to read Pilgrim’s Progress along with him. Sounds like a great idea!

• 10-Day Reprieve for NY Churches – A temporary restraining order has been issued to allow churches to continue to meet in schools.

• On Being Human – Ravi Zacharias looks at the question of what it means to be human from a Christian perspective.

• Application in Sermons – A long, but worthwhile read, on the importance of applying all of God’s Word.

• Defending the Truth – Fighting vigilantly for God’s truth with grace and respect.