NonCustodial Parent Community

News Roundup - Family, Custody, and Everything in Between

2009-10-06T07:17:00.013-04:00

Been active on our NCP Community Facebook page posting articles of interest to noncustodial parents, so join the fan page to get timely news. For the blog, makes sense to just round it up:) My personal favorite news story was "Fed education chief to dads: Turn off TV, read" because despite the hard-line approach the Administration is taking with fathers, they have acknowledged weakness in the

Court Requires Custodial Parent to Pay Child Support Payments to Noncustodial Parent

2009-09-23T07:25:00.005-04:00

Because of "disparate incomes and nearly equal parenting time," some noncustodial parents are being recognized in Indiana as needing child support. In this case, the custodial parent made 10 times the income of the noncustodial parent, but the actual parenting was almost 50/50. What a great decision to be made in the interests of the children who need support from both parents! It's so

Welcome to the NonCustodial Parent Community

2009-08-07T18:16:00.008-04:00

**Welcome to new members of the NonCustodial Parent Community site!**Since I was featured in Marie Claire and on the TODAY show, I have received a flood of emails and Facebook messages, new fans for the Facebook page (facebook.com/noncustodialparent), and followers on Twitter (@ncpcommunity). I'm so thrilled to be connecting with noncustodial moms and dads around the country -- and I'm so glad

TODAY Show! Moms Who Give Up Custody

2009-07-29T09:56:00.011-04:00

NonCustodial Parent Community founder Rebekah Spicuglia was a featured guest on the Today Show to talk about her experience as a noncustodial mom! Would love for you to share your thoughts by commenting here on the NCPCommunity site. There is also a live discussion happening on the Today Show, click here to add your thanks and feedback about the segment.Thanks so much to the Today Show, Marie

Happy 15th National Parents Day!!

2009-07-26T07:25:00.020-04:00

Today (Sunday, July 26, 2009) marks the 15th Annual National Parents Day, a holiday established to “uplift ideal parental role models.” Passed by unanimous Congressional Resolution and signed into law by Bill Clinton, Parents Day was created to provide an opportunity to celebrate the important roles parents have in helping children grow up successfully, and as President George W. Bush said in

Staying Together for the Kid? Considering Divorce?

2009-07-24T06:44:00.005-04:00

The Boston Globe missed an opportunity this week to paint an optimistic picture for divorcing parents.In the "Dear Meredith" column, this question was posed by a reader: "I recently discovered that my wife is (or was at least) having an affair... If we were child and mortgage free, I would have had my things packed before she got home. But we have a beautiful three-year-old boy who is the center

Noncustodial Moms (and NCP Community!) in the Media Spotlight

2009-07-22T06:50:00.004-04:00

Yay!! Our NonCustodial Parent Community has had a busy month, thanks to the support of some key media outlets, noncustodial moms and dads, and the growing network of people who have supported our mission along the way.NYTimes Motherlode, Feministing, The Frisky, and About.com's Women's Issues Blog all wrote about Marie Claire's article on noncustodial moms, in which I was featured. Anti-Racist

How Does A Feminist Mom Teach About Sex?

2009-07-20T12:04:00.003-04:00

As NCP Community readers know, I have been exploring ways to talk to my son about puberty and sex that educate beyond biology, providing a base for the man he will become. We are already having conversations that go beyond his personal experience and really delve into prevention of domestic violence and rape culture, not just for him but with his peers as well. So, I was thrilled to read this

Report Shows Unions Have Positive Impact on Family-Friendly Workplace Policies

2009-07-20T07:13:00.002-04:00

As Congress prepares to debate the Employee Free Choice Act, a new report from my alma mater, UC Berkeley, shows that unions have a positive impact on family-friendly workplace policies. To download “Family-Friendly Workplaces: Do Unions Make a Difference?” go to UC Berkeley Center for Labor Research and Education or Labor Project for Working Families.From the report's press release: "Unions have

Talking to Your Kids about a Move Away

2009-07-18T13:45:00.007-04:00

There is a great piece by Carrie at DistanceParent.org on how to talk to your kids about a move away: I’m Going to Move Away… How do I Talk to My Child About it?To move away from a child is an extremely difficult decision, and no loving parent makes this choice lightly. We must make the best decisions in our power. While living in the same house or at least the same city is ideal for everyday

Sharing Family Photos from a Distance

2009-07-18T13:32:00.006-04:00

Wow, found this cool site today for families who want to share calendars and photos from a distance: http://www.familycrossings.com/. It offers family websites for free and other services. Seems to take security very seriously, which we parents value so highly!!Have not used it myself, but I appreciate that their intention is to keep families connected. Also has a calendar function meant to

Deployed Military Parents: Choosing Custody or Duty

2009-07-17T07:38:00.007-04:00

The San Francisco Chronicle has published a must-read piece on what our service members face when it comes to custody of their children: Deployed Military Parents: Choosing Custody or DutyAs a former Navy brat, I can testify that military life is very hard on families, especially when parents are divorced. According to the piece: "Neither the military nor the U.S. courts has fully recognized

So-called "deadbeat dad" Jailed Wrongly, Released After a Year

2009-07-17T07:12:00.012-04:00

CNN and many other news sites have highlighted the case of Frank Hatley, who "spent the past year in jail for being a deadbeat dad. But there's one problem -- Hatley doesn't have any children. And the 'deadbeat' label doesn't fit the 50-year-old either" because he was paying for 13 years until he found out the child wasn't his. It is tragic whenever anyone is wrongly imprisoned -- it is good to

Send a Note of Thanks to Marie Claire

2009-07-16T07:33:00.003-04:00

For those who have found the Marie Claire article on noncustodial moms to be enlightening, please send a note of thanks to editor-in-chief JoannaColes@hearst.com. You may also consider posting a comment on the piece itself: http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/latest/mothers-giving-up-custodyThanks!!Rebekahp.s. You can find the Marie Claire article and more on our Facebook page!

Marie Claire: Moms Giving Up Custody

2009-07-12T13:18:00.011-04:00

Marie Claire has published an incredible 3-part profile on moms without custody that everyone should read. It includes Maria Housden, best-selling author, and Ellie Hull, a woman who decided to give up custody in order to "go back to school, get a decent career, and be a better mom." My participation (I am profiled on page 3) began last year, when I wrote what I consider to be my "coming out"

Time's Obsession with Marriage and the Nuclear Family

2009-07-12T09:04:00.028-04:00

Caitlin Flanagan's latest drivel - "Is There Hope for the American Marriage?" - would make me laugh except that her defense of the outdated nuclear family is so ridiculous, the piece is so flawed, that its being published by Time magazine actually concerns me. Where do I start? I suppose I will set aside Flanagan's (1) apparent disregard for the serious reasons that parents separate (her

Twitter / Facebook

2009-07-11T08:59:00.006-04:00

NonCustodial Parent Community is now on Facebook and Twitter!Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ncpcommunityAnd become a fan on Facebook by searching for "NonCustodial Parent Community" !

Survey for NonCustodial Parents

2009-07-07T23:03:00.005-04:00

Dear NonCustodial Parent Community, please spend a few minutes on this anonymous 10-question survey: http://bit.ly/1LKmFJ. This survey will help us gather information, in order to share experiences, strategies, and solutions, to challenge biases about noncustodial parents, and to raise awareness about the issues families are facing every day. Thank you,Rebekah

SheWrites! Launch of Social Network for Women Writers

2009-07-04T09:00:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to SheWrites, which has acquired almost 1000 new members since its launch a few days ago! Kudos to creators Nancy K. Miller, Deborah Siegel, and Kamy Wiecoff!! Clearly there was a need for this site:) There are writers from a variety of backgrounds (journalism, memoir, poetry, screenwriting, activism), and it is an incredible opportunity for women all over the country to connect

Boys Coming of Age

2009-07-03T18:26:00.014-04:00

My 11-½-year-old son recently announced that he is going through puberty.My usually obsessive preparations for Oscar’s visits now have a new urgency. I find myself planning discussions I somehow never thought I would need to have. When kids grow up it’s an exciting — but scary — time for any parent. And as a noncustodial, long-distance mom, the challenges and opportunities for me are unique. Over

NYTimes: When Airlines Misplace Children

2009-06-24T07:01:00.004-04:00

Check out my guest blogpost for Lisa Belkin's NYT Motherlode column!When Airlines Misplace ChildrenBy Lisa BelkinIllustration by Barry Falls"Children. Unaccompanied. On airplanes. It hasn’t gone so well recently. Rebekah Spicuglia, who lives in on one side of the country while her son lives full-time with his father on the other, knows a little something about children flying alone. I asked her

Unaccompanied Minors - Smart Travel

2009-06-21T17:38:00.026-04:00

Suddenly travel for unaccompanied minors is big news, thanks to Continental's egregious error in back-to-back instances of flying unaccompanied minors to the wrong city! As a mother whose son has flown unaccompanied 12 times already, I'm naturally concerned but glad that both girls are safe (they were never unsupervised and were delivered to the correct destination same-day). I'm also still

OP-ED: Media missing committed fathers of color

2009-06-21T13:09:00.011-04:00

Great op-ed written by Dori Maynard for the Oakland Tribune, titled "Committed fathers of color: Everywhere and nowhere." Maynard tells of her initial disappointment in Obama's "searing condemnation of absentee African-American fathers" as he spoke last Father's Day: "Too many fathers are M.I.A., too many fathers are AWOL, missing from too many lives and too many homes."Maynard writes: "But the

Honoring Fathers Today

2009-06-21T09:18:00.012-04:00

Happy Father's Day! Just want to take a moment to honor fathers and father-figures this morning. Dads who stay involved in their children's lives regardless of employment or custody status. Fathers who help support children materially, emotionally, spiritually, and do their best to be a role model for their children. I attended a WomenGirlsLadies event yesterday called "Dads, Dudes, and

Co-Parenting ABCs: Boyfriends and Child Custody Laws 101

2009-06-08T08:14:00.006-04:00

In answer to the frequent question about what to do when a custodial parent refuses to let the child be around the noncustodial parent's significant other, Co-Parenting 101 recently posted on "Boyfriends and Child Custody Laws" . Great post with the basics on custody (legal, physical, and usual visitation).The answer to the question is that "The hypothetical ex/child’s mother can legally prevent