The Nearsighted Owl

Gwynnie Bee

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Wed, 22 May 2013 03:22:00 +0000

Well, I borrow my movies, books and music so I might as well rent my clothes too! Gwynnie Bee is a monthly subscription service for size 10-28. You pay a monthly fee for access to an unlimited wardrobe and unlimited free shipping. I am trying out their 30 day free trial and I can't wait until my first package arrives! It really appeals to me to be able to try styles without committing to buy. Plus you can keep things as long as you want or even opt to buy things that you fall in love with. I played dress up all the time when I was a kid, now I can do it as an adult!

I also recently did a huge closet clean out and like the idea of being able to rotate through some new outfits without filling my closet back up again. The site focuses on dresses, skirts, blouses, blazers and has some jackets and sweaters - with new items being added biweekly. Mostly things that are normally $50 or more and may end up being worn a few times anyways. A lot of the things I put in my queue, I have looked at before but couldn't justify spending the money. With Gwynnie Bee, I can follow all my whims and indulge my changes in taste. Sort of like an endless clothing swap! Looks like it is available only in the US right now. But I hope they expand soon!

- Rachele

OOTD: Lady in Red

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Tue, 21 May 2013 04:48:00 +0000

One of the driving forces that made me give up my hair growing contract with myself, was the ease of doing finger waves when it is shorter. Of course, this means that I also need to start collecting more large hair pieces like this flower from Hell Razor. I only have a few fascinators, some that I have ripped off of headbands and bobby pinned to my head. Because I am classy like that. But it is nice when a beautiful one like this comes along and is ready to just clip in my hair! I felt pretty darn fancy. Even if I am mixing styles from at least three eras.

dress : walmart

gold glitter flats : payless

vintage purse : thrifted

sugar skull flower hair clip : c/o hell razor

glasses : coastal

lipstick : wet n'wild

There may be a finger wave tutorial in the future...

- Rachele

Sweet on You Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Mon, 20 May 2013 06:14:00 +0000

NATALIE UPDATED SHOP + GOLD GLITTER FAT NECKLACES!

WISH MY FRAMES WERE THIS FANCY

THERE IS TRUTH IN THIS

PROBABLY POSTED BEFORE BUT YEAH...

I'VE SEEN OUR CATS DO THIS

MOST STYLISH COUPLE AWARD GOES TO

THUNDER THIGHS PATCH

- Rachele

Happy Caturday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Sun, 19 May 2013 06:04:00 +0000

My beautiful furbabies! Sandy isn't in this one but she is starting to feel better. Thanks for all the comments and helpful tips. We started to give her some supplements and things. Our black cat, Wednesday, is the mischievous one. Always trying to lay in my clothes so she opens up my drawers and pulls out my skirts. Such a beast!

- Rachele

Sweater Vest Pillow

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Fri, 17 May 2013 19:12:00 +0000

Maybe you have seen Silver Linings Playbook? Well, good, you know what Bipolar Disorder is! It's nice to see mental illness being talked about more and not in a shaming way. I have talked about it on my blog before and I think it is important to share our stories and overcome the stigma. I wrote this a couple months ago.

"Let's watch a movie. We have popcorn!"

With an accusing tone he says, "I can't believe you said what you did."

Shit, I feel guilty and remind him that I was frustrated and hurt. "I didn't mean it. I don't feel that way all the time. You were manic and I was at my wit's end."

He prepares to give me the silent treatment and hides away for a while. I check in periodically with hugs and assurances that I love him and that I'm not mad anymore. But I can tell his mind is occupied with negative thoughts and it might take a while for him to come around. I leave him alone for a while and give him space. It's been quiet long enough so I peek in on him again because I am worried and protective. The light is off and he is laying on the hardwood floor using a sweater vest, that he wears to work, as a make-shift pillow.

"Are you okay?", I almost shout because my mind is racing with worst case scenarios and that he is more depressed than I thought and that he passed out on the floor or some other horrific situation. He sort of sighs a yeah and tells me that he is feeling down. I tell him I know and I lay next to him in a tiny room with barely enough floor space for the both of us. We talk while laying on the floor and all the anger and frustration I had earlier that week disappears. I have to accept the fact that even with medication, he suffers from Bipolar and the ups and downs happen and the illness can still take over. Being close to a full-blown manic episode led to an inevitable depressive state.

It wasn't the first time we have been through it and although it is painful, it teaches us more about how to deal with it and still show that we love each other. Even though he has Bipolar Disorder. Even though it wasn't the first time I jump to asking him to stay somewhere else because I just can't deal with it. I really don't want him to leave. I would rather we talk. He doesn't leave this time and doesn't show any signs of needing hospitalization or that I need to take his wallet and keys away. Thank fucking God. That is rarely necessary It just happens every once in a while and we get through it and it makes us tougher. Hopefully, I also learn when to be more gentle and keep my snappy little mouth shut. It's harder than it sounds! I have to remind myself that sometimes it is the Bipolar talking and the best I can do is be loving and try not to let it hurt my feelings.

Being a little tough and equipped is not a bad idea when your 31 year old partner for 14 years was diagnosed only 3 years ago. We didn't know when we got married that we would be saying good-bye in a Salem hospital, too close to the real-life One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest mental hospital for comfort, and then doing it all over again a year later. If I asked my 16 year-old self if I would be calling the police on my then boyfriend and future husband, I would never believe it. But I did and I am thankful for it every day. Without those worst moments of my life, we would still be wondering why things were such a roller coaster.

Now, we know the reason and do our best to manage with it as part of our lives. It's part of our history, sometimes the present and most definitely our future. I am not always sure how to handle it. I work at being kind and loving. I cope by writing heart-breaking letters to him and then tearing them up later. Just to get out the thoughts I have when he is not being himself. Other times, I blurt out my feelings and overwhelm the situation. There isn't a perfect way to be a partner to someone with Bipolar Disorder. Someone that can get paranoid, consumed by obsessions, moody and distant. Neither of us grew up with honest dialogue about mental illness and there isn't a manual that you get after your first hospital release. I won't lie. I can get lonely and my feelings can get hurt. But we love each other and accept that it is part of our relationship and an illness that isn't anyone's fault.

These days, it's much rarer to go though an episode than before we had a diagnosis. It doesn't take long before we are making each other laugh, cooking a meal together or snuggling on the couch again. We talk openly about it with each other, just like sex or anything else in our relationship. We make jokes about the time he was convinced that aliens were taking over and how I had to chase after him in the middle of the night when he ran out the door in his pajamas, convinced I was trying to kill him in his sleep. And we are good for each other. Someone on the outside might think that the rough times are not worth it. But they are. He teaches me patience and what it's like to truly love someone and I teach him that he can find happiness on bad days and be spontaneous. I watch out for him and we support each other. It's a balance that can take work but I don't think anyone can say any healthy relationship is work-free. In fact, most of our friends see us as the stable, successful relationship and say that we get along better than anyone they know. You can't tell by looking that one of us has Bipolar Disorder and that the other one probably has undiagnosed behavior that causes her to talk to cats and wait last minute to do everything.

- Rachele

Book Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Fri, 17 May 2013 01:53:00 +0000

I read Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) because Mindy Kaling is funny, but I did it with the open mind that not everybody is a fat activist. I can relate to her as an over-achiever, bookish shy child, non-morning person, TV watcher and comedy lover. Yep, pretty sure I was the weird girl that stayed home and watched Golden Girls rather than going out to ride my bike.

But as she got older, Mindy got pretty good at making friends and keeping friends. Something that is hard for me to wrap my brain around. She is extroverted and social in a way that boggles my mind. A section called "Best Friend's Guide" stung a little because I felt that I was supposed to have that and let's be honest, not very many people have that or can behave in the way she expects. Her expectations in real life seem to mirror a lot of her self-written character as Dr. Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Show. Someone that thinks boys have to be men before she can date them, you have to go to college and make lots of money, that friends have to come with her to every errand and anyone odd or unimportant can just leave please. Tumblr would tell me that she is ableist and racist. I am not sure I completely agree. I found her to have a case of diarrhea mouth and maybe trying too hard to be funny. Or maybe, I couldn't relate to everything she talked about.

I didn't like the men are better than boys part because by her description I partnered with a boy but it doesn't make him less than a man. And why does a man have to be privileged, wear expensive clothes and own a house? I don't know. I would date a homeless guy that listened to Elliot Smith and painted or something.

She is also a self-proclaimed chubby girl but then succumbs to bullying and loses weight. But she also points out that they don't stop making fun of her and realizes the issues was never herself or her weight. I side-eyed a little when she talks about avoiding the dreaded obesity status. At least her jokes are more inward and honest and blaming society for making her feel this way. I wish she was as self-assured about her body as she was about her career. She could talk for chapters about comedy writing, her job at The Office, SNL, etc. but when it came to her appearance, she disappointed me as a reader. This is not the "go girl!" type of memoir you might find in say Coal to Diamonds: A Memoir by Beth Ditto. So, I am not going to over-analyze this book too much.

With that, I enjoyed the book and read it in a couple days. Mindy is cute, funny and chubby and I like her diarrhea mouth.

- Rachele

Fossil Rocks and iPhones

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Thu, 16 May 2013 04:38:00 +0000

Last weekend was filled with beach rock hunting and teaching my parents how to use their new iPhones. The mister found the above fossil rock! I found some agates and successfully got my mom to text 12 hours before she decided to block it again. We go see them every few months to walk on the beach and provide technical support.

All cute and retired.

The mister rocking a Superman look.

We spotted some whales too! Can you see it?

Now, it's back to work and catching up on laundry.

- Rachele

OOTD: Denise Huxtable

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Tue, 14 May 2013 05:46:00 +0000

We spent this weekend with my parents for Mother's Day. We had a lovely time, of course. They live at the beach, lucky them and us because it's like a vacation! Towards the end of the trip, my mom pulled out a bunch of photos of me. I guess she figured now that we were in a bigger place, she could convince me to store them. My parents took tons of pictures when we were kids and nearly every memory is in this huge blue rubbermaid tub. I have to say, it was a little emotional looking at these previous versions of myself. It might have been that I was super skinny up until I was 18ish and that maybe I had disappointed my family somehow. We don't own a big fancy house and our babies are covered in fur and wear collars, and yes, I am fat and a maybe little misunderstood. It felt weird looking at this super thin and smiley girl and I couldn't help but wonder where she went. I had a little internal blubber about it and eventually puffed my chest out to get rid of those icky self-doubting feelings. I have come a long way, baby. I love who I am and the things that have made me stronger. I may not be as talkative, but maybe that's because I choose my words more wisely and share them with people that are the closest to me. Behind closed doors, I was depressed and lonely for a big chunk of my childhood. But now, I am confident with who I am by myself and around others. The point of me sharing this with you is to show that I even have my moments, no matter how fat positive I am. But they only last seconds and usually I learn something about why it happens and move on.

top : thrifted

pants : thrifted

neckace : forever 21

shoes : thrifted

glasses : coastal

lipstick : covergirl

Anyway, fatshion! I love these pants I picked up. Almost everything is thrifted! I am really into this outfit and how the photos came out. It feels a little Lisa Bonet from the Cosby Show.

Maybe after some therapy, I can share some of the old photos on here. I also cry during a Wells Fargo commercial so I obviously have some things to work out. Ha!

- Rachele

Sweet on You Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Mon, 13 May 2013 05:50:00 +0000

MUGS!

GORGEOUS BODY PAINT

TATTOOED FAT LADIES THAT LOOK LIKE ME

YES PLEASE

THIS LOOKS VERY YUMMY

BODY HAIR FREEDOM

LOVE HER STYLE!

- Rachele

How to Be a Fat Bitch ECourse #8: Get Involved

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Sat, 11 May 2013 03:16:00 +0000

1. YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP

2. RECLAIMING THE WORD FAT

3. BEING FASHIONABLE AND FAT

4. SEE BEAUTY IN OTHER FAT BODIES

I will be sharing a lesson that you can use to work towards loving your fat body, living a fierce life and feeling confident. This ECourse is about fat acceptance, activism and fatshion. You can watch the vlog and read along and then you will be given an assignment and an opportunity to discuss it with me and other readers. You will also be prompted with some discussion questions. There will be room for all levels of body positive advocates to participate. This will be a chance to focus in on a specific aspect of fat acceptance and fatshion so that you can integrate it into your life and be a fat bitch too! Assignments don't have a due date and feel free to navigate at your own pace. This ECourse is free and can be done at any time! Click here to register.

A fat bitch is confident, out-spoken and proud of who she is. The word bitch has been used by feminists as a way to reclaim an insult used to demean our cause. Let's get started!

Fat Fancy recently featured me as their blogger of the week on their Facebook. I commented that I owe them because they took me when I was a baby fierce fatty and showed me radical things and introduced me to to some inspiring people, including themselves. (Hi, Annie and Carlee!)

I wish I could remember how I found out about Fat Fancy (maybe Myspace?), but somehow I found myself in a north Portland basement filled to the brim with colorful vintage and kitschy clothing. Miles ahead of the black and hot pink off the shoulder Torrid stuff I was getting tired of. I was surrounded by Leslie Hall stretchy pants in neon green, photos of Beth Ditto and cookies! The mall never gave me cookies while I shopped. I revelled in the dream that I could have a blue plaid belt that fit me. But it wasn't a dream. I had found the pearly gates of fat heaven.

Before I knew it, I was going to Gossip shows, Chunky Dunk (a fat posiitve pool gathering) and covering my body in some amazing clothes. You have to keep in mind, at this time I was still in my early twenties, subjecting myself to an array of diets and majorly insecure and afraid of my 300lb size 26 body. I was still hanging out with my high school friends and holding on to a religion I didn't care about anymore.

I was blinded by the fabulousness that is Fat Fancy and their customers. I began to meet more fat positive people than I had ever seen in my life. I went to fundraisers and starting reading fatshion and fat acceptance blogs. My biggest aha moment was at a Fat Fancy fundraiser at a Portland bar, finding myself chatting it up, dancing and having a very Portland moment with the one and only Beth Ditto. Everything I thought I knew back when I saw her strip at a show and hated it, had changed. I hated it because I hated my body and her body looked like mine.

Now she was my saint and rolemodel. It all started with Fat Fancy and me taking a chance by stepping into a basement, meeting new people and getting involved. Not every town has a Fat Fancy or a hot fat rockstar but getting to know other fat positve people and networking will open you up to new things. Even if it is online, hell most of my friends are online now, you can learn so much by putting yourself out there and getting to know some radical fatties. They will introduce you to more awesome fatties and fat positive resources, events, etc.

It has been amazing going to fat clothing swaps and having all these fierce ladies in my life. They bring my fat bitch status to another level. I highly recommend seeking out some fat positive groups like yoga, clothing swaps, book clubs, etc. Having friends and allies in what can feel like a fight to exist in our fat bodies is crucial.

Get your fat butt out there and find yourself a fat positive function or group to join. Make new friends! Get the down-low of fat stuff happening in your town. Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

I have adulting and friend-making issues. *big sigh* Do you find it easier to make online fat friends versus in real life fat friends?

Grab the button!

Show your support and sponsor, or make a donation. The ECourse will continue to be free but donations are appreciated to help keep this work going. Thank you!

- Rachele

Love Letter to My VBO

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Fri, 10 May 2013 03:03:00 +0000

To my dearest pouches of adipose tissue,

First, I want to apologize for neglecting you and treating you like shit. That was worst than when Lindsay Lohan missed her court date, or ya know a few. Or like, every one of them according to E!. I hope you can forgive me and send me to some posh rehab center so we can go back to partying ASAP. Can we stop shaming female celebrities for being unlady like even though they are doing the same thing as their male counterparts?

Anyway, I was ashamed of you, but not anymore. I love the way you are always there and give me that extra bounce when I break out some of my dance moves. Your milky skin and stretch marks weave the tapestry of who I am. You challenged me to be fierce. To take risks with clothes and not be afraid of being photographed at any angle. To fuck with the lights on and stop punishing my body.

You are the protector of my belly button and pussy. A symbol of my power and strength. Built of flesh and beauty. I love you, VBO.

I completed this assignment from my How to Be a Fat Bitch ECourse #6!

Find out more and register here.

- Rachele

Book Review: Big Big Love

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Thu, 09 May 2013 02:16:00 +0000

I was very, very interested in reading Big Big Love, Revised: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them) by Hanne Blank. I am a scorpio, after all. Contrary to popular belief, big people fuck and it's not a freak show.

"Sweet, tender, luscious sex. Sweaty, feral, sheet-ripping sex. Shivery, jiggly, gasping sex."

But we feel vulnerable and often denied of our sexual nature. But it is possible to be fat and have a positive sex life, just like how you can be fat and have a positive body image.

This book isn't just a great resource, but also inspiration and body love oriented. I was surprised to find that it covered body image and health, not necessarily sex specific and definitely not finding your worth in a partner. The author touched on a broad area of subjects that lead to being a happy sexy fat person. Goodreads says:

"Big Big Love is the only one-stop-shopping handbook on relationships, sexuality, and big sexy confidence for people of all genders, sizes, and sexual orientations who know that a fantastic love life doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the number on the bathroom scale. Covering everything from dating to sex toys to getting on top, this guide also features tips on navigating tricky topics like making peace with your belly, coping with weight-related prejudice, and creating a happy, satisfying sex life in a culture where no body is ever perfect enough. This freshly illustrated update of the 2000 cult classic features new interviews with body-acceptance activists, health coaches, psychologists, and more, plus hundreds of quotes from fat folks and those who love them selected from a survey conducted exclusively for the book. From taking your clothes off to BDSM to fat admiration to tips for successful long-term relationships, Big Big Love’s savvy, sane advice can help you tackle every hot-button issue you may confront in the bedroom and in love."

Hanne also did a really great job talking about fat sex without it being exclusively about fat fetishes or people that primarily attracted to fat people. While it is mentioned, people see fat as sexy for a multitude of reasons and in all kinds of relationships. But, fat admirers are more common than people would like to believe.

Get your horny little pudgy hands on this one. If you have a partner that is not fat, it would also be a good read for them to understand your experiences. Now go have an orgasm.

- Rachele

OOTD: Minty & Apparently Sheer

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Tue, 07 May 2013 15:00:00 +0000

My mama would not be proud of me for not wearing the proper undergarments underneath this see-through skirt! Oh well. I look fabulous anyway! My legs are officially out in the world. I can't believe the years I wasted on wearing leggings in the hot weather. I was self-conscience about this obviously beautiful part of my body and had no tools to fight chub rub. Insecurity and pain is no fun! My primary way to avoid the dreaded inner-thigh blisters of summer is to wear stretchy shorts underneath my dresses and skirts. Life changing I tell you! Now my gams have a chance to hang out at the beach and feel the warm breeze on their above knee fuzz. My arms are pretty stoked to be part of the party too.

top : thrifted

skirt : walmart

purse : f21

belt : taken from a dress

necklace : jaclyn rose

glasses : firmoo

lipstick : wet n'wild

flats : target

- Rachele

Happy International No Diet Day

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Tue, 07 May 2013 04:07:00 +0000

Happy International No Diet Day! My celebration lasts all year long, not just May 6th, but let's take today to recognize that diet's fail and raise a fat middle finger to them. So put down the calorie counter app (actually uninstall that shit) and start living in the body that you have. Your weight doesn't determine your worth or health. Take a stand again diet talk, fat shaming and size discrimination. Food doesn't have a moral value. So eat, be happy and love yourself. End the cycle today. Grab a donut and explore my fat acceptance posts.

Letting Go of the Thin Fantasy

Fat Sex

I Am Not Being Brave

Shame Loss Ads

How to Be a Fat Bitch ECourse

Vain and Fat

Ode to Fat Bodies

Reclaiming the Word Fat

Fat Babe Project

Good Use of Diet Books

Thrifting Tips for Plus Size Clothing

Fat Acceptance Blog Badges

I Heart Myself

Fat Heroes

The Challenges of Being a Visible Bright Haired Tattooed Fat Woman

Fat Yoga Classes

Birthday Suit

Fatphobia

A Fat Woman and a Pixie Haircut

I am Proud of My Size

Fat is Not an Insult

Happiness Comes in All Sizes

Being the Fat Blogger

My Thoughts on Self-Love

In Which Someone Says It Better

$300 for Being 300 Pounds

- Rachele

Sweet On You Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Mon, 06 May 2013 05:00:00 +0000

SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE!

STYLE INSPIRATION FOREVERRRR

HOW CATS ACT SOME OF THE TIME

CAN I BE THIS BABE?

YES!

MY KIND OF EMBROIDERY

THIS LADY KICKS ASS

- Rachele

How to Be a Fat Bitch ECourse #7: Loving Your Body

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Sat, 04 May 2013 04:07:00 +0000

1. YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP

2. RECLAIMING THE WORD FAT

3. BEING FASHIONABLE AND FAT

4. SEE BEAUTY IN OTHER FAT BODIES

A fat bitch is confident, out-spoken and proud of who she is. The word bitch has been used by feminists as a way to reclaim an insult used to demean our cause. Let's get started!

I read a tweet from a friend the other week and she said something like, "Even being fat positive for some time, I am interested if people feel positively about their bodies?" She went on to say that she felt gross and repulsed by her own body. So let's talk about it. How does one become fat positive AND love their body?

Even fatshionistas and fat positive bloggers deal with what seems like an eternal struggle to love their body, and maybe they truly hate their bodies but just don't talk about it. I have heard that you really don't need to love your body, you can embrace the ugly and just not worry about feeling pretty. I feel like loving your body and feeling beautiful is worth it. You don't have to be attractive in the conventional way but perceived flaws can be seen as beautiful. Why not? If you treat something that you love better and if being confident and self-assured does wonders for your mental health. Calling it quits and making a truce with your feelings just isn't enough for me. I want my body to be a glorious vessel for my creativity, love, lust, personality and my being. I want most days to feel like my dimpled ass, soft bits and generous belly is like a fucking God-send for all human-kind. There should be statues on every corner of my uneven breasts and murals dedicated to my stretch marks and cellulite-ridden thighs.

Of course, not every day feels that way. I have down times. I was depressed a couple weeks ago, part of why I haven't posted any ecourses lately, and had a couple rough days of feeling frumpy but unlike other times, hating my body wasn't part of it. On a particularly bad day, I took a shower late in the day and curled up in bed with a towel on my wet hair. I put my arms around my bumps and fat and held myself. I felt warm and soft and it helped. I found comfort in my size that I have come to love so much. I have come a long way. In the past, I might have felt insecure and lashed out at other people, angrily destroyed my closet because I hate my clothes or binged or some other destructive behavior.

So it makes me sad to hear that someone is missing out on loving their body. Because it is the body that you have and chances are it won't magically change into a body that you think you need to love.

You can fake it until you make it. I wanted to be body positive so bad that I just told myself I was. When something really bothered me or felt out of place, I did something about it. Over time, all those little changes add up and you end up not having to fake it anymore.

Wear what makes you happy. Trying to dress to look like someone else or dress in clothes that you are told are flattering, but you don't like, is going to make you ultimately feel like a failure. Clothes are the #1 way to hate your body. You can feel awesome naked but then your clothes go and ruin it all when they suck. Fuck flattering and wear what rocks your socks.

Do what you want with your hair. For me that is half wavy and half pixie with teeny tiny bangs and it just floats my boat. I swear my body actually looks different to me. I feel like a goddess when my hair is how I want. I tried wearing my hair differently for a while and I wasn't feeling it and it was eating away at my self-confidence. I like what I like and I deserve to give myself that happiness. So go for it and experiment.

Treat yo self. Do something for you at least once a week. Self-care is not selfish. You want to be the best person you can be for yourself and the people closest to you.

Turn your fat body and other fat bodies into art. Look at fat art or create it yourself. Changing your perception is huge. You are disgusted by your own body because you have been programmed to see fat bodies as disgusting. What if you saw them as majestic pieces of art? Or were inspired by sizes similar to yours? All of sudden, your shape won't look so alien and unusual.

Why do you feel repulsed? Because your body is different than what you have come to believe is right? You have to unlearn what you have been told all your life and see your body as valid and worthy, just as much as thin bodies. Remove the things that tell you that your body is bad or is negative. I recently read Hot & Heavy (book review here) and one of her assignments is to write down all the negative things that happen in relation to being fat and your body, for 7 days and then use that as a guide to avoid those things or find a way to change them.

Be naked and frolic. Take naked photos of yourself. Squat over a mirror. I see absolutely nothing wrong with walking around the house naked either. I don't even care if the windows are open. I am like "if people are looking into houses they must realize that you are bound to see a naked person." Cue the mister to roll his eyes.

So how do I feel about my body? Fucking fantastic. I am more sensitive about my anxiety and awkward personality than I am my weight. So when I get YouTube comments that describe me as a "gigantic skinned pear dressed up to go skiing" it has no effect on me. And yes, that is just a sample of the hate mail and comments I get that are deleted. I ponder for a second what exactly a fucking skinned pear flying down a snowy slope would look like. Probably pretty cute. It bewilders me that some creep is coming up with this shit in order to dehumanize me. But even some creep can't make me bad about my body anymore. I have a solid relationship with me body. Like any relationship, it took work to feel bonded the way I do now with it now. But we're in love! I demand that it be treated fairly and with respect. It also brings me happiness to decorate it, use it and occasionally worship it. Maybe you can feel that way about your body too?

I am going to steal from Hot & Heavy a little here, but journal for a week when you notice something in your life that triggers negative thoughts about your body. You can write something lengthy or just make a list. At the end of the week, review the list and ask yourself if these are things you can avoid or change? Write down what you can do instead that will be body positive, and do them! Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

How has the Fat Bitch ECourse helped in your fat acceptance journey? Let's talk about the difference it has made in being more body positive. Tell us your story!

Grab the button!

Show your support and sponsor, or make a donation. The ECourse will continue to be free but donations are appreciated to help keep this work going. Thank you!

- Rachele

OOTD: Bad-Ass Once Again

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Fri, 03 May 2013 04:09:00 +0000

My new haircut has opened up my wardrobe to new possibilities again! I can shop my own closet and am feeling my style. Everything seems a little edgier and accessible. I feel awesome! Confident fat girl alert! Growing my hair out just wasn't expressing my bad-ass-ness that I knew was in me. Hi, bad-ass Rachele, nice to meet you again. I missed you!

top : thrifted

leggings : walmart

flats : fashion bug

clutch : thrifted

necklace : fat fancy

glasses : coastal

lipstick : wet n'wild

I think I need more bold statement necklaces.

- Rachele

Month in Review: April

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Thu, 02 May 2013 02:08:00 +0000

FAT BABE PROJECT 1, 2 & 3

FIVE THINGS

BREAKFAST IS THE SHIT

SELLWOOD RIVERFRONT PARK

OOTD: CAT LADY CHIC

OOTD: JURASSIC PARK DATE

OOTD: I HEART PETERPAN COLLARS

OOTD: OLD LADY CARDIGAN

OOTD: BORN TO BE A PIXIE

HAPPY CATURDAY

AROUND THE HOUSE: THE MISTER'S GAME ROOM & COLLECTIONS

PAUL MASSON

HAPPY CATURDAY

BOOK REVIEW: HOT & HEAVY

OOTD: PEACHY KEEN

ALLERGY MAKERS

OOTD: PUT A RING ON IT

SPRING CLOTHING WISHLISTS

THIS WEEK ON INSTAGRAM

P.S. The giveaway winners are announced here! You should be receiving your goodies in the mail soon. I hope you ladies enjoy the books or prints!

- Rachele

Whoring Myself Out

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Wed, 01 May 2013 05:39:00 +0000

If you are a business or blog looking to partner with a sassy fat lady, then advertising here is for you! You can also send items for review, have something featured in an outfit post or host a giveaway. You can even be a cheapskate and buy the lowest priced ad and swap ads with me! If you have sponsored me before, email me and we'll swap even stevens.

If you purchase an ad, you will have an opportunity to describe your shop or blog and upload a button image. If you have no idea what pixels or photoshop is, I can design your button for free. You can upload an image you want made into a button and leave me a note in the "tell us about your ad" section. Or you can email me at rachele@nearsightedowl.com and we'll get shit done.

I won't pretend to be a fancy schmancy blogger but I would cry sugary tears of happiness if I got free cute clothes and accessories in my size and had the opportunity to show them off to my readers. That goes for anything relevant to my interests and passions - fatshion, cat whiskers, old lady brooches, bathroom haircutting and watching British teen dramas. So email me at rachele@nearsightedowl.com if any of that sounds appealing!

P.S. Don't forget you can get a free ad here!

- Rachele

Paul Masson

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Wed, 01 May 2013 04:39:00 +0000

I thought a good way to end the month would be with these photos I took of the mister. He has the funniest ideas and somehow recruits me to make them come true. These photos were taken in order to recreate this ad. Enjoy!

He even made his own label.

And the end result!

- Rachele

OOTD: Born to Be a Pixie

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:05:00 +0000

I went for it! I'm back to my wavy half pixie! I am not sure what else to call it but I have had it before. You can see it here and here. Looking back at my hair history, it was my favorite and easiest to manage haircut. Perfect for the warm weather and I have to admit, I feel fucking sassy in it.

sweater top : thrifted

leggings : walmart

shoes : target

glasses : coastal

lipstick : wet n'wild

This was a pretty relaxed weekend outfit. We had some sunshine and ended the weekend with seeing Oblivion. Our theater has an XD theater in it, which has bigger seats. Just giving a shout out for the other fatties that are uncomfortable in movie theaters! You can put up the arm rests too. Oh, and thanks for all the nice comments about Sandy! She is doing better.

These look like senior photos! Ha!

- Rachele

Sweet On You Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 20:28:00 +0000

NEVER!

ADORABLE

THESE CATS LOOK SERIOUS

INSPIRING AND BEAUTIFUL

THE BEST COMPLIMENT

I AM EXCITED FOR FATKINI SEASON

YES I WILL!

- Rachele

Happy Caturday

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 19:41:00 +0000

Sandy is our first cat. We got her 10 years ago on the way home from our honeymoon. She is the sweetest and best mama cat! But she hasn't been feeling very well these days. We took her to the vet and were disappointed to find out that there wasn't anything they could do even if they did all the tests, which would cost several hundred dollars. It's frustrating, to say the least. We have made some adjustments to her food and taken a holistic approach to making her feel better. She gained a lot of weight back and has improved. But I still worry! I wish vet care would be more about the pet and less about making money. *shakes fist*

She is such a cuddly and loyal kitty.

If there was any way that love could heal, we sure are trying!

- Rachele

Coming Soon (To My Closet)

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:56:00 +0000

I am waaaayyyy excited for Re/Dress to open. I absolutely adore Rachel and Erin's style and eye for fashion and I can't wait to see what awesome plus size fashions they will have. I missed out on the original Re/Dress but am seriously stoked for this version. If everything goes as planned, they will be open for business next month. And fuck yes, they reached their fundraising goal! I am off to email back about the perk I got when I donated. How awesome are these ladies and these clothes?!?

- Rachele

Five Things

noreply@blogger.com (Rachele Cateyes) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:45:00 +0000

Be prepared for many photos of Rachele! I had the house to myself and decided to update my profile and blog photos. It can be super tricky to make your face look right when you have glasses and a super-nerd level strong prescription. The first set of ones I took in front of my framed pictures are cute but came out a little too shadowy with reflections on my glasses. But the ones at the bottom of this post came out how I wanted! To spice up my obvious vanity, I am going to share five things about me! Grits and Moxie tagged me in hers which was super sweet of her. Love that southern lady. So here are my maybe unusual, maybe unknown things about me.

1. I have a little bit of a southern accent. Speaking of southern gals, I was raised by one and spent a lot of time with my sassy grandma from Mississippi. So, I have a bit of a twang I am told. There are certain words I can't pronounce, which I can't think of any right now, probably because I avoid using them! But I say things like zink (sink), worsh cloth (wash cloth), iann (iron) and the occasional y'all slips out. And I have never been in a southern state.

2. I have an uncanny ability to predict what will happen next in a TV show. I am the master of picking up clues and being super accurate. Things usually aren't mentioned or shown in a show unless they are going to have a purpose in the story. I can do shows that are hard to predict too. Luckily, the mister finds it entertaining and is baffled at my skill. Sometimes, I do keep my guesses to myself because I don't want to spoil the show for him. I wish I could use my talent to connect the dots for something useful!

3. I have had my septum pierced twice and my labret pierced once. I am not squeamish and have a high tolerance for pain so piercings are not a big deal for me. The first time I got my septum, it was done incorrectly and it definitely hurt but I took it out and had it redone correctly. I think most people wouldn't go though it again! The actual piercing is not painful (for me anyways), it is when they slide in the jewelry. You can also see a little dot where my labret used to be if you look closely. Am I too old for piercings? Nah.

4. I can eat and really love spicy food. Give me all the sriracha, red hot, peperoncinis, jalapenos, curry, chili oil, black pepper, etc. I put hot sauce on my pizza, eggs, falafel and anything else that sounds good. I can't say that I don't pay sometimes with heartburn. Plus, the time that I got jalapeno capisain under my thumbnail and on my hand and it burned for days.

5. I work as a caseworker 40 hours a week. I don't talk about my day job on here and I am not sure if many of my readers know if I work. But I do have a full-time job. I don't like to say where because I like to keep my blog and job separate Same reason I don't share my last name because it would be too easy to find my blog since my last name is not a common one. I have been doing social work for 5 years and I am thankful that I get to help people.

Feel free to join in on this meme! I am also tagging the following peeeps:

P.S. Since I took these photos, I almost cut my hair. Ha! Never fails that the minute I update my blog, I change. I didn't end up cutting it because I am working on dialing down my impulsiveness sometimes so I can be sure I really want to do something. But I did downsize my cheek piercing bars and am now fully the dimpled baby that I wanted to be! They don't look loose at all anymore when I am not smiling. It took 4 months, two downsizes and a lot of patience to get to the finished result of these piercings! I guess I will have to do another photoshoot...

- Rachele