Hey baby, what's your sign?

When I write about the Lupercalia perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, I usually write an amusing little missive on the ridiculous and corporate nature of Valentine's Day. However, I rediscovered this from Uncle Warren and I must bow to the master. Especially if he wants to do something naughty.

He's selling cards of this sentiment for you to give for that special someone. Fuck Hallmark.

With that out of the way... on with the scents!

Black Phoenix always selects a range of love poems that cover the spectrum from the highs of first love to the depths of love lost. For instance, The Face Of All The World Is Changed, I Think by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is a poem about how love changes how we see our surrounding and ourselves. The perfume combines the sweetness of the experience but is also a pleasant pungent for the power that the experience of true love can have. Liaison by D. H. Lawrence is more concerned with the lustful aspects of love. The lovers seek shelter from prying eyes and find a dark secluded space to indulge their passions. The Moroccan black musk gives a richness to the scent but the various woody scents gives it a lightness. This is, after all, a light romantic tryst, not a ponderous epic. On The Death Of His Mistress by Abu Sahet Alhedhily does convey the sadness one feels when a lover in beyond our grasp by Death and perhaps wanting to rejoin them whatever the cost. The scent has a definite Middle Eastern profile with violet leaf and patchouli, but the oakmoss and cypress hints at the dark woods where one becomes isolated from humanity.

This thing reads like stereo instructions.

On a naughtier note, we come once again to Novel Ideas For Secret Amusements, perfumes inspired by erotic prints from Japan's Edo period. Following Instructions has spiciness in it for obvious reasons, but there is plenty of wood notes for the 'reference' materials. Reading up on new and exciting things in the bedroom is great, but women tend not to like it when you're more focused on the instructions on how to fit Tab A into Slot B than actually doing it. The Hell of Great Heat is where libertines go who use and abuse women for their own selfish pleasures. They are devoured by demons with vaginas for heads and vengeance in their hearts. This is a tantalizing mix of musk and spice which gives a sense of the "nether regions" depicted in the picture. (Editor's Note: and Chazz valiantly has made the picture at least mildly SFW.) Kagema shows a coupling with a man and a male prostitute. Yes, it seems that what could get a politician kicked out of office today was considered a symbol of status and wealth in this period of Japan's history. The fragrance is an interesting mix of masculine and feminine as was the kagema.

What has preceded is but a small sample of Black Phoenix's various perfume lines. Feel free to be wanton with your selections and give yourself to all the variety they have to offer. There is no shame in being a perfume slut. Check out Black Phoenix here.

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Happy Horny Werewolf Day From Black Phoenix

No, it's not a second series. It's a Valentine's Day Special One-Off Episode of Solve This, the improvisational panel show and podcast that pits a panel of four romantic specialists against properly themed Valentine's Day problems where the solutions become more wrong the further we go into the show.

Joining me for this episode are, in alphabetical order:

Download audio file (solvethisvalday.mp3)

If you have a problem you'd like to have addressed by our panel of experts, send it to solve this at (this domain).

Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed for all our podcasts is here.

To download this directly, Solve This: Valentine's Day Special, then do that thing.

There will be a second series. But don't become complacent! Tweet this, Facebook it, Stumble it...everything you do to spread the word about things you love. We thank you for your help! Stay safe out there!

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Solve This: The Valentine's Day Special

This podcast generally covers music and other transgressions. This month's episode is hosted by Prof. Tuffley, assisted by Dr. Rob Levy and Widge is in the sidecar.

This episode's central topic is...television shows about music. We're talking of the Soul Train, American Bandstand, Top of the Pops vein. They slowly but surely disappeared from our television screens. How and why? Before we get there, though, we also explore: Disney vs. Joy Division, Newt Gingrinch vs. Survivor, Capitol Music vs. ReDigi (the used digital music store), the Oscars vs. common sense, the Sasquatch music festival (aka Sasquatch vs. The Sound Board's budget and travel plans), Metallica's music festival, Ben Folds Five returns, so does 2 Live Crew, and M.I.A. vs. Madonna. Plus: remembering Etta James, Don Cornelius and Johnny Otis. And also we throw in a Valentine's Day addendum for music for both love and anti-love.

Editor's Note: this episode was recorded before the sad news about Whitney Houston.

Download audio file (soundboard27.mp3)

Special thanks to Hyperbubble for our lead-in music. Show them love and buy their stuff.

If you have music you want to bring to our attention, ping us at sound board at (this domain).

To find Tuffley's Randomizer and other Spotify playlists, go here. And you can find him on Twitter here.

And to find Rob Levy at KDHX, go here. And his personal blog is here. And his Twitter is here.

BTW, you iTunes subscriber types can nab our overall podcast feed here. If you like us, why not rate us? We don't bite. Mostly. Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed is here.

For those just wanting to subscribe to The Sound Board, you can do that here. iTunes feed is here.

To download this episode directly, The Sound Board #27: I'm All Out of Love and I'm Making a T-Shirt To Further Express This, then do that thing. Previous episode can be found here.

Image from Spreadshirt.

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The Sound Board #27: I'm All Out of Love and I'm Making a T-Shirt To Further Express This

Episode #106 for Safe House, in which our protagonist gives a modest proposal for dealing with the Babies in Cinema Problem, praises Denzel Washington for being able to elevate any film (or pretty much anything around him--he has the Acting Speed Force), and has a special guest star!

Direct link for the feedreaders. Downloadable iPod version here.

Want to subscribe to our Wayhomers as a video podcast? Here's your link.

Want to subscribe to all our video podcasts in one fell swoop? Here's your link.

Special thanks to PhantomV48 for the closing animation.

Previous episode here.

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Wayhomer Review #106: Safe House

Download audio file (wjustice021012.mp3)

Agenda:

Headsup: There's new Weekend Justice gear as well in the Zazzle store.

Thanks to Jon from The Unique Geek for helping us sound good.

As always, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting us use their absolutely badass song, "Promoter (of earthbound causes)" as our theme music for this.

Buy Blast Tyrant, which is where you can find "Promoter". Buy their latest album, Strange Cousins from the West. Send them love and coin.

BTW, you iTunes subscriber types can nab this feed here. If you like us, why not rate us? We don't bite. Mostly.

Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed for all our podcasts is here. And just Weekend Justice is here.

To download this episode directly, Your Weekend Justice #147: If You Had to Sleep With a Stooge, then do that thing. For the previous episode, click here.

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Your Weekend Justice #147: If You Had to Sleep With a Stooge

Dammit, I wanted that guy from The Hangover to play me!

Need to stay up to date with pop culture news but don't want to wade through 57 blog posts a day to do it? No worries. We do it for you: one post with only the most critical items so you can get it out of the way in one sitting. You're welcome.

You can pre-order copies of these for yourself by clicking through using the links provided. Or just going to this link to go to Amazon proper. When you do so, you help pay for Need Coffee's server costs. Thanks!

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Stuff You Need to Know: Paradise Lost Movie Shelved; Milton Quits CAA

The animated short is called The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore. It's nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Short and it's easy to see why. Considering the demographic of our readers--that you're all literate, book-loving types with a love for whimsy (sometimes morbid, sometimes not)--it's almost as if the people at Moonbot Studios were targeting us specifically. Watch it and see why. If you're not utterly delighted with the short by the time you reach the "surgery" sequence, then seek help.

It was created by William Joyce (who was a scribe on Meet the Robinsons as well as an art designer for Pixar). It's been turned into an iPad app (which I plan on snagging shortly) which includes "making of" material. I urge you to set aside fifteen minutes and watch this. It absolutely made my day.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

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Morris Lessmore and His Fantastic Flying Books

Also of note for recent updates is the Lord of the Rings vs. Monty Python mashup, "Impasse" by Verso. And they've reduced the awesome pirates vs. dog t-shirt "Reburied Treasure" by David Soames and Nathan W. Pye to $12.

Grab them with the links above or browse the sit by clicking here.

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One Big Happy Family (That Wants to Gnaw On You)

So. We're all SF nerds here, right? We've all watched the first four seasons of Futurama, and we're all watching Fringe? Yeah, of course we are. So you'll all be with me, and you'll understand what I mean when I say that, I recently realised that

Okay, maybe that doesn't make a lot of sense, no matter what you're watching. I will explain sum up, but first I want to acknowledge a debt of brain machinations to a conversation with M1k3y, who asked the questions what got me thinking through this explanation of my analogy.

Here There Be Spoilers.

What I mean is that they're both lynchpins for their respective universes. In Futurama, we see that, because of Fry, there's a temporal anomaly at the cite of the cryochamber--the point where he goes forward in time (the Why of that is explained in the SUPER INTRICATE ARC of the first four seasons). In fact, we see in a What-If Machine episode that if Fry isn't frozen, then the entire Universe CEASES TO BE.

Similarly, in Fringe, we have Reiden Lake: the weak point between the universes where Walter brings over the stolen Peter from the other universe. The frozen lake melts and breaks from the heat and stress of a Dimensional Portal Being Opened On Top of It, and one of the Observers--September--has to pull Walter and Peter from the lake. Now, because of this, a piece of Observer Tech fell in the lake and stayed there. Except the season finale of the last season, and the crux of this season, hinges on the fact that they never did that. The Observers have, in fact, supposedly edited Peter Bishop out of existence, so that there is no Universe-Rending Conceptual Conflict predicated on his having been stolen from one universe to another.

The Doom-Bringer

Don't you see?! He left it there so PETER COULD PULL HIMSELF OUT OF THE LAKE!

So, for our Mathematician-Turned-TSA-Agent (MTTA), finding this thing at Reiden Lake is the proof of his theory of time. "Flattening out the curve of time," as he calls it, actually gives him the Observer Perspective. And through this, there might actually be a direct link between the time streams and the creation of the Observers and their Tech. I don't know if they're going to go here, but it would explain how the MTTA found the Tears of Ra: he saw it created. It would explain how he had that thing that sprayed people in the face: he went to a time when it already existed.

And it would EXPLAIN WHERE THE OBSERVERS COME FROM: It's a Self-Creating/Sustaining Paradox Loop.

...Huh.

I'm completely in agreement with M1k3y when he says, "I still pray for a Charlie Jade crossover there." Because it is firmly held, in some circles, that not only are Fringe and Futurama intrinsically linked, but that Fringe is the promise of Charlie Jade fulfilled.

And also, in the words of M1k3y: One Free Bottle of Observer-Approved hot sauce to the 1,000th commenter on this piece.

• Click here to buy Fringe stuff from Amazon.
• Click here to buy Futurama stuff from Amazon.

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Why Fringe and Futurama Are Pretty Much the Same Show

There is so much going on, even DragonCon pros like Needcoffee can't keep track of it all. Things slip through the cracks. Like these two guys:

Who are they? They are stars of DragonCon TV. DragonCon TV is the video content that can be found at the convention, in rooms between panels--pretty much anywhere there's a screen that can be comandeered, it's there. And these two puppets were part of the madness: Bob and Carl: Sci-Fi Janitors

Since their website gives a good description on who these two chuckle-heads are, I'm going to steal it.

Bob and Carl specialize in cleaning up after sci-fi conventions. You know: all the sequins and stuff from costumes, all those handouts for other conventions, and all the sweated off body paint and other bodily fluids. Like most people with a crappy job, they chat and goof off and get silly. Here's an example.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

But Bob and Carl also teach valuable lessons. Here's one:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Here they discuss a possible future career:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

These guys are another example of people putting out their creative energies out on the Internet. Seriously guys, if you have an idea, go get a video camera or some recording equipment or something and get it out there. Or if you're not feeling that creative, encourage others to check out stuff like The Sci-Fi Janitors. Just think of it as destroying big corporate media executive douche-bags. And who doesn't want that?

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Bob and Carl: Sci-Fi Janitors - Sweeping Up Comedy

Episode #105 for The Woman in Black, in which our protagonist gives thanks for a Hammer horror flick that feels like a Hammer horror flick, praises Daniel Radcliffe for transcending the Potterverse, and generally advises that watching horror films makes you know how to better deal with being in one.

Direct link for the feedreaders. Downloadable iPod version here.

Want to subscribe to our Wayhomers as a video podcast? Here's your link.

Want to subscribe to all our video podcasts in one fell swoop? Here's your link.

Special thanks to PhantomV48 for the closing animation.

Previous episode here.

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Wayhomer Review #105: The Woman in Black

Download audio file (wjustice020312.mp3)

Agenda:

Headsup: There's new Weekend Justice gear as well in the Zazzle store.

Thanks to Jon from The Unique Geek for helping us sound good.

As always, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting us use their absolutely badass song, "Promoter (of earthbound causes)" as our theme music for this.

Buy Blast Tyrant, which is where you can find "Promoter". Buy their latest album, Strange Cousins from the West. Send them love and coin.

BTW, you iTunes subscriber types can nab this feed here. If you like us, why not rate us? We don't bite. Mostly.

Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed for all our podcasts is here. And just Weekend Justice is here.

To download this episode directly, #146: Vicodin, Sterno and Toast, then do that thing. For the previous episode, click here.

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Your Weekend Justice #146: Vicodin, Sterno and Toast

We kick off with a trio of Blu-Ray releases from HBO, out in time for Black History Month.

The Josephine Baker Story makes its Blu-Ray debut from HBO after being release to DVD about a decade ago. This of course the 1991 TV movie that starred Lynn Whitfield as the titular performer, taking you through her entire life: starting off with little to nothing in St. Louis before living through adversity in both America and Europe and enjoying some degree of success. Whitfield won the Emmy for her performance and it's easy to see why. The hi-def upgrade here is worthwhile for the audio and video side and you do actually get a new audio commentary from Whitfield, along with one of the writers and an associate producer. The further good news is that at $11.99, if you do want to own this--which for fans of Baker or Whitfield is a no-brainer--then it's simple enough and not painful to upgrade if necessary. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Thurgood hits Blu-Ray--this starring Laurence Fishburne--and this one is profoundly different from the above biopic...instead of giving us a straight-up biopic of Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, it's instead a filmed performance of the one-man play. It's a similar setup to other shows (a recent one that springs to mind is Tovah Feldshuh in Golda's Balcony) in which we meet Thurgood later in life and Fishburne's performance changes as the time period in Thurgood's life changes. And it works because, well, it is Laurence Damn Fishburne in the role. And at no point does he lose your focus. A must-watch for anyone interested in the history of his life and/or fans of Fishburne, the Blu-Ray itself has a damn fine video presentation. No bonus bits. Should be viewed at least once, if not owned. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

The Tuskegee Airmen from HBO makes its Blu-Ray debut, timed to coincide with the Lucas-produced Red Tails earlier last month. The story is thus: a group of black pilots have to fight damn near everything before they can be about the business of fighting for their country. And by damn near everything, I mean some officers above them as well as some people in the government. The concept that some people would actually volunteer to lay down their lives to die for others who not only would deny their right to do so--but actively hate them? That's got a high drama factor from the get-go. And with the cast headed up by Laurence Fishburne, it does the story justice. So does the Blu-Ray release...considering this is a 1995 TV movie, the video looks pretty damn good. Alas, you get no bonus bits besides the book that accompanies the Blu-Ray. Worth viewing for anyone intrigued by the story or anyone who's had their historical curiosity piqued by Red Tails. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

So...Boardwalk Empire. If you've been following Weekend Justice, it's no secret that I dig the hell out of this show. (I'm not alone in this regard.) It's also no secret that I'm pleased that after a kickass first season...the second season did not disappoint. I hate it when that happens...Deadwood. Anyway, apart from giving a starring role to Steve Buscemi (never a bad thing), apart from playing the Wire card and involving Michael Kenneth Williams to make me want to watch it even more (never a bad thing) and having some serious firepower behind it with Scorsese on board...it's just freaking solid. Great characters, great writing...it's obvious these people had The Wire in mind when they went after this. Also--and bonus--it's a great message, completely understated, about what happens when you try to legislate away the Things People Want. This DVD from HBO comes with an extensive behind-the-scene docu, a featurette on the ginormous set, a tour of speakeasies, an Atlantic City docu, a character guide, and six audio commentaries with cast and crew members participating. Now...I love the show, so that might be enough...but the Blu-Ray takes it a step further. You get an immersive bit where, while watching each episode, you can hit a button and get more information about locations, characters and more. One favorite feature of mine? A particular song playing in the background gives you the option to pause the film and hear the entire song. Nice. Want to see a larger mini-featurette rather than just a picture in picture snippet? Hit the button. Brilliant. Does this have some overlap with the rest of the bonus bits? Sure, but if you dig the show, this lets you dig into the show and is recommended. Either way, in some form or fashion...you need to watch this--and for me anyway--it's good enough to own. And I highly recommend the Blu-Ray...the upgrade in features is worth the upgrade in price. (Click here to buy the Blu-Ray from Amazon. Click here to buy the DVD from Amazon.)

So Glee: The Concert. Okay, I'm sorry, but I don't get it. I've said it before; I shall reiterate it here: Glee is for adults who simply couldn't bring themselves to like High School Musical. And it's a show that takes itself way, way too seriously--a parody that doesn't have enough sense to know it's a parody. And I've tried to watch it. Honestly. Because I wanted to understand--but I just can't get through an episode in a single sitting without it making my eyelids hurt. So bearing in mind I'm not in the audience for this, what can I tell you? I can tell you this is the cast of the show, singing cover versions of Michael Jackson and Journey and Prince. There are two bonus performances, two extended performances, some additional cast bits and a booklet for fans. There's nothing about the Concert experience here that is going to convert anyone but die hard fans of the show are probably going to want this. And if you think of it as less than $1 a song, then it'll make it easier if you want to grab it and plonk coin. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Going Postal is the Terry Pratchett novel brought to television and brought to Blu-Ray by Acorn Media. One of the Discworld stories, it so happens that con man von Lipwig (played by Richard Coyle, recognizable to most from Coupling) is sentenced to death but gets one last chance: if he can revive the dead post office, then he can go on living. If not, then he's toast. And he has his work cut out for him since "Clacks," the new fangled communication system, has all but negated the need for the post office in the eyes of most. Also in the cast are Charles Dance, David Suchet and Andrew Sachs. Recommended for fans of Pratchett and Discworld--while I am not a Pratchettologist like some other people we have on staff, they swear by it so I'm comfortable saying that the Pratchett fan should own. The hi-def treatment here is good and the bonus bits are a respectable lot: Pratchett himself introduces the program, there's a commentary from the director, a series of interviews, deleted scenes and bloopers. At $34.99, it's not cheap but the DVD is only $5 cheaper. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Notorious makes its Blu-Ray debut from MGM via Fox. The setup is thus: Ingrid Bergman is the daughter of a convicted Nazi and Cary Grant's character believes her to be the perfect way to get inside a Nazi ring in post-WWII Brazil. He puts her on the path of a high-ranking Nazi, played by Claude Rains. And as they try to figure out what the bad guys are up to, there's a smattering of love, distrust and danger. Of course there is. A Hitchcock classic--not one of my favorites, but a damn fascinating watch--it was previously released as a Criterion DVD. None of the bonuses make their way over here--but you do get an excellent audio and video presentation. Not as crisp as some other black and white films, but still you can tell the difference. You also get a series of bonus bits: two commentaries, both with film professors; an isolated musical score and sound FX track; a making-of featurette; a featurette focusing on Hitchcock; a bit from the AFI tribute to Hitchcock; the 1948 radio play version with Bergman reprising her role (I always love the hell out of these); audio interviews with Hitchcock and a restoration comparison so they can show off what hard work they put into sprucing the film up. Recommended. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

And of course, we have Rebecca, the 1940 film that saw Hitchcock meeting Hollywood and having, as is explained in the bonus bits, oh so much fun. Rebecca was the first wife of Maxim de Winter (Laurence Olivier) and now he has a new wife (Joan Fontaine). But the past never strays far in a gothic story, and the odd Mrs. Danvers (Judith Anderson) is there to help spur things along towards the mad conclusion. This is the adaptation of the Daphne du Maurier novel, a film that had some problems with both getting scaled down to fit inside a feature and also with its revelation about what exactly happened to Rebecca. It's still a fascinating film, though, despite the changes--and it absolutely nails the atmosphere. As above, the Criterion-specific bonuses are not here--but you do get a decent array to go along with the upgrade in video: a commentary by film historian Richard Schickel; isolated music and sound FX track; a making-of; a featurette covering du Maurier; screen tests; three (!) different radio play versions and audio interviews with Hitchcock himself. If you are a fan of the film, I would suggest using this as a supplment/bonus disc for the Criterion release (which you should own). Any Hitchcock fan or completist will want to own as well. The price is right and upgrade is worth it. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

And lastly on this Hitchpalooza trip, we've got Spellbound, in which a psychiatrist (Ingrid Bergman) falls in love with another doctor (Gregory Peck)...only, he's not really a doctor at all. Instead, he's suffered from amnesia and may or may not have killed the real doctor whose place he filled. Trying to figure out what happened and unravel what's going on in the man's head forms the story...and a surreal dreamscape created by Salvador Dali. What we have here is a decent looking hi-def upgrade that, again, sports a radio play as the only carryover from the out-of-print Criterion release. In addition, what you do get is a commentary from a pair of film historians, a featurette on the collaboration between Hitchcock and Dali, a psychoanalysis featurette, a profile of actress Rhonda Fleming, and a Hitchcock interview. Like the above, fans of the film and Hitchcock completists should own both this and the Criterion to get the best of both worlds. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Long ago, children, comic book movies were rare. For multiple reasons that we don't really need to go into here. But when they would happen you'd sometimes get a Superman and sometimes you'd get a Punisher (the Dolph Lundgren one). In 1992, we had Captain America. Matt Salinger, son of J.D., plays the Captain--and looks like Steve Rogers, that's for sure. But there's a reason why it took two years to finally go straight to video and has been a staple of bootleg video sellers at conventions for years. It's not just the fact that the Captain looks a bit like he's having a continuous Maalox moment and that the Red Skull looks like an odd Krofft villain. Regardless, MGM finally got smart and released it as part of their Limited Edition Collection (their version of the Warner Archive). Worth grabbing and viewing with a bunch of comic geeks especially if there is alcohol involved. Beyond that, worth watching as a double feature with The First Avenger so you young bastards can appreciate just what we older bastards had to go through. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Pepe Le Pew has a release from the Warner Brothers Looney Tunes Super Stars Collection hitting DVD. And I usually have mixed feelings about such things. Normally, these single disc deals are to try and double or triple dip and/or present parents with a dilemma about something to buy for their kids. However, while I would much rather this be presented as part of the Platinum Collection of Looney Tunes releases, it cannot be denied that of the seventeen cartoons on here--fourteen are new to video. And considering that the cartoons come in at less than $.90 each, so for the fan of the character, it's a no brainer. At least until all of them hit the Platinum Collection. Recommended. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

We come to Point Blank, the French film about a guy who's forced to get involved with criminals after they kidnap his pregnant wife. When pushed up against the wall like that, pretty much anything can happen...and things get a bit crazy. If you've been thinking, "Man, I really wish there was a film that was just relentless, full of chase scenes and the film never really stops," then it's here to answer your call. It's out from Magnolia on Blu-Ray and the audio and video are both quite good. It also comes with a behind-the-scenes docu. I would say give it a rental first before plonking coin simply due to the replay factor. Some thrillers I know I can re-watch, others I'm just happy to have seen the once and I'm good. But check it out if that sort of film appeals. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Tanner Hall finds Rooney Mara heading up a cast of young women at a boarding school in New England. Because they are young women and they are at a boarding school, that pretty much guarantees we're looking at a coming of age story filled with finding out about oneself, about one's friends, about love, and all of the normal things that coming of age stories bring you. Recommended for anyone who wants to see Rooney Mara in a role that doesn't involve lots of piercings and isn't the Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Notable also for having Amy Sedaris and Chris Kattan among the cast. Doesn't break any new ground but would be a definite rental for anyone who the coming-of-age-and-growing-up subgenre appeals to. At present, the Blu-Ray is actually cheaper than the DVD...so the fact that it looks great in hi-def is actually beside the point. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Wings is a film that every film buff needs to see. It's from 1927, stars Clara Bow and was the first Academy Award winner for Best Picture. A love triangle becomes complicated by war as both men get whisked off to fly in World War I with the resolution of who Clara Bow's character of Sylvia actually loves left, well, in the wings. If you want to see what big FX was like Back in the Day (Wednesday), then this is the place to go. You get the full silent film treatment: yes, it's not full on black and white (but instead the sepia type), but you do get it restored--and holy shit, it looks fantastic. And even though it's a silent film, they've created audio tracks with musical scores, one of which has sound FX by Ben Burtt. In addition to the feature, which would be worth viewing on its own, if not owning--you get a retrospective featurette, a restoration featurette and an aerial combat featurette. I would say if you're a film buff, it's a good idea to buy this just to inspire this sort of treatment for other films of its kind. Just a superlative Blu-Ray for your shelf. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Jane's Journey, out from First Run on DVD, is a docu that covers the life of Dr. Jane Goodall. Goodall is the world expert on chimpanzees and has done a great deal to educate people and promote conservation. Anyone who is a big fan of animals knows her well...the trouble is, they're not going to to find anything terribly new or even deep in this docu, glossing over things in favor of talking about how awesome she is--without ever delving or rising above a promotional feature. Nobody's saying she's not awesome...but give us something that's a bit more than fluff. The DVD is a good one for anyone who's already a fan but probably skippable for everyone else. No bonus bits. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

So it's not news that NYC is probably home to some killer nightclubs. But the guy who was running the gauntlet of them in the 90s was apparently Peter Gatien. Gatien came in, opened the Limelight Club and others, made a ton of money and found himself in the crosshairs of Mayor Giuliani as he tried to clean up the night of the city. The results: trials and Gatien getting deported. This docu takes you through it and is of interest to anyone who wasn't a fan of Giuliani's sanitizing the New York nightlife or anyone who just enjoys the heydays of mega clubs. It's out from Magnolia and comes with a number of deleted scenes as its sole bonus bit. Worth a watch for the above mentioned demographic. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Archer hits with its complete second season--all thirteen episodes--on a two-disc Blu-Ray set from Fox. It's the tale of Sterling Archer, superspy, who works for ISIS (International Secret Intelligence Service), one of the most dysfunctional organizations out there. When not dealing with his co-workers, which includes a beautiful fellow agent (his ex) and an alcoholic of a boss (his mom), he's dealing with the KGB, medical problems and paternity issues. The show looks great in hi-def--and it's only $5 for the upgrade. The Blu-Ray is basically $1.50 an episode, which isn't bad. You get two animated shorts, a Q&A with Archer himself, a Comic-Con panel and more. Fans will want to own this--because the fans I know freaking love the show with a dangerous passion. And like I said, the price point isn't insane, so they can snag it in good conscience. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret his DVD from IFC/MPI Home Video with all six first season episodes on a single disc release. The shot is this: David Cross is Todd Margaret, and the source of his titular decisions stem from the fact that he simply cannot help but lie. And once the truth starts to close in on him, he continues to lie. And of course, he's just been appointed the sales director of an energy drink and his territory is the UK. And of course, he knows nothing about any of those things in the previous sentence. And on top of all of that, he really wants to not lose whatever chance he might have to get with Alice, a local cafe owner. Recommended for fans of David Cross or even Arrested Development, since the show reteams Cross with Will Arnett. The price point per episode is under $3, but there are bonus bits to be had: commentaries on all episodes (one has two commentaries), an extended version of the first episode, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a Q&A, deleted scenes, bloopers and more. Sample it first but you would do well to own it if you're a fan. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

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Headsup: Of History and Hitchcock

Just put it over there by the other three. Thanks.

I had no idea that Demi Moore was supposedly a "Red Bull addict." According to an article at The Daily Beast, she's been using them as meal replacements. As in, not eating, just drinking Red Bull. That's the impetus for their article, but I felt compelled to write something after seeing two things in their article.

First, the author cites a particular study. Now granted, there are a number of studies listed in the article that state all kinds of results from consuming caffeine. And if health and science have taught us anything, it's that, in general, Studies will show you coffee or red meat or [insert thing here] will cure cancer one week and rain it down on you the next week. Studies, in general, are not actionable.

That all being said, you can understand why this bit from the study caught my attention:

So by talking up the fact that my caffeine tolerance has reached such a ridiculous level that caffeine intoxication is a distant memory...that's making it even more true?

If I try to think like I was back when I was in high school, addicted (well, we'll get to that word in a second) to Sun Drop and just starting down a glorious road of stimulant abuse enhancement...then I will get a better buzz? I will try this experiment out myself. Certainly, certainly worth getting action about that one.

The other thing that struck me was that I really like Brad Anderson. He said this:

Why should you listen to Brad Anderson when he tells you this? Because Anderson is "Chief of the Department of Addiction Medicine at Kaiser Permanente Northwest." So my assumption is he knows a thing or two about the topic.

So there you go: I can no longer, in good conscience, borrow the line from House: " I said I was an addict. I didn't say I had a problem." Well, going forward I'll just paraphrase it.

Anyway, let me just take a moment to wince at how this is going to make it a huge deal about energy drinks again in the press, when really, it's like anything else: dumb people who take no responsibility for their own actions are probably going to take themselves out with something, whether it's Red Bull or a car or by watching so much reality TV their eyes stop working in rebellion (<--scientific FACT).

I like what Anderson had to say close to this subject: "If you're Demi Moore and you're drinking Red Bull, only Red Bull and lots of Red Bull, is it an addiction or is it just stupid?"

Well said, Mr. Anderson. If I ever meet you in person, I'm definitely buying you a coffee.

Thanks to ScottC for the headsup. Image from CheesyCam.

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Excellent News! I'm Not An Addict, I'm Just Chemically Dependent!

But surely the film should be called Veggie Land! Think of the children!

It's a constant battle trying to keep up with pop culture news. We know. And if you're trying to maintain the semblance of a life, we can see where that could get complicated. So never fear: we try to compact all the stuff you absolutely need to know into one post that you can read in one sitting--and then get on with your day. You're welcome.

You can pre-order copies of these for yourself by clicking on the media type if nothing else. When you do so, you help pay for Need Coffee's server costs. Thanks!

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Stuff You Need to Know: That? That's the Sound of Princess Lolly Weeping.

I apologize in advance if what I am going to say will blow your mind. But try to keep your shouts of profanity to a minimum and continue reading. The truth of the matter is: coffee isn't actually one of my favorite things in the world.

You see, I began to drink coffee as a necessity while working at a customer center as a freshman in college. Between working full-time, going to school full-time, eventually getting involved in a band full-time and trying to have some modicum of social life (I was a different person then), I needed the extra boost to get me through the day. And night. And next day.

Granted, when I began drinking coffee, I was the embodiment of the Beastie Boys line: "I like my sugar with coffee and cream." By the time I got done prepping my coffee to drink it, it looked like milk that had gone to the beach and gotten a slight tan. Ridiculous.

I have since--for health reasons mostly--weaned myself back to where I drink coffee black. I hardly ever have crazy frou-frou with-syrup coffee drinks anymore, even. But I still see coffee as a necessary tool. It is an effective caffeine delivery tool. And there is something to be said for putting on one's alchemist pointed hat and trying to make a pot of coffee that brings tears to the eyes while it tries to stamp out your spleen.

So while coffee isn't necessarily one of my favorite things in the world, do understand that we have a healthy respect for one another. (Indeed, like wine, it appears that I only start to really get going on coffee for the taste when you get up the really expensive kinds. Blue Mountain, anyone? Freaking delicious.)

All of this as preamble to this: while sometimes I like playing coffee alchemy, sometimes I just want to get out of the house, get out from in front of this keyboard, clear my head and drink some coffee I didn't have to make. It's helpful. So that, coupled with my desire to drink coffee, means I've never had an issue with Starbucks. I would go to a local coffee shop, but there just isn't one close enough (as I've mentioned before)...and driving further than usual would get me given out to by the same people who would give out to me for going for "Corporate Coffee." So sometimes you can't win.

Anyway, I'm still preambling mostly. Sorry about that. I wanted to say that the number one bit of bitching I hear about Starbucks coffee is that it "tastes burnt." Well, I suppose if you are trying to enjoy your coffee instead of looking to it for stimulation first and taste second (like me), that might be an issue. But I've frankly never cared one way or the other.

If you have been among those bitching about Starbucks and their supposedly burnt taste, then they've created Blonde Roast for you. When I wandered into a local Starbucks, bleary eyed (or at least moreso than usual), they offered it as something new. I not only got it, but they sent me home with a trial package. And yes, it's a lighter roast that is sure to appeal to those of you who don't attempt to create pots of coffee so strong that Liam Neeson comes around to fight them. It's not the sort of thing that I would necessarily make at home, since I'm a "which bag is open, I'll use that one" kind of guy, when I'm not snagging a bag of my own stuff (plug!) or even something like Shock Coffee when the situation calls for it. Since I don't go for mellow on purpose and instead try to pack as much grounds into the coffee maker as possible, this isn't for my home use. But when I need something different I wouldn't begrudge it.

If you've previously been turned off by their type of roast, then give this a shot. If you've previously been turned off by their music selections, then this will not fix that. If you were one of these "burnt" types, I'd be fascinated to hear your response in the comments...did you try this? Did it make a difference? Or what?

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Starbucks Blonde Roast - Review (And Confession)

Episode #104 for Beauty and the Beast 3D, in which our protagonist praises classic Disney on the big screen, 3D and/or otherwise, and tries to get through to the company (since we know they watch).

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Previous episode here.

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Wayhomer Review #104: Beauty and the Beast 3D

Hitting Blu-Ray we have two selections from MGM and The Woody Allen Collection: Annie Hall and Manhattan. They're both making their hi-def debuts. Hall is the film that really got people who hadn't previously paid attention to Woody Allen to pay attention to Woody Allen. And that's even if you pull the four Oscars out of the mixture. Like him or not, you couldn't ignore him. And few people tried: the film is a funny look at relationships through the lens of Alvy Singer (Allen), a comedian, and Annie Hall (Diane Keaton), a singer. A true American comedy classic, it also features Tony Roberts, Carol Kane, Shelley Duvall, Paul Simon, Christopher Walken, and Truman Capote. And with Manhattan, you get another portrait of relationships with New York City as the backdrop, this time with Allen playing His Character again (albeit this time called Isaac Davis) and dealing with his lesbian ex-wife, his underage current girlfriend and the prospect of a relationship with a journalist. Both films look excellent in hi-def that, for fans of the films, warrant an upgrade despite the fact you get nothing in the way of bonus bits. For $17 a piece, it's worth doing. (Click here to buy Annie Hall from Amazon. Click here to buy Manhattan from Amazon.)

Speaking of comedies you actually want to have in hi-def, I'd give you a nudge towards Billy Wilder's The Apartment. I've often been amazed by what visuals you can get on screen in black and white that you simply cannot in color--and this is a stunning example of it. It just looks amazing--especially with its Blu-Ray debut upgrade. The shot is this: Jack Lemmon is an office worker who is trying to get ahead by loaning his apartment to his bosses at the office--for their affairs. But then the head burrito wants in...and his lover is the very woman Lemmon's character has feelings for. And hijinks thus ensue. By the use of the term "hijinks," of course, I don't mean all slapstick and laughter. Instead you get a very intelligent comedy with excellent performances by Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred MacMurray. Also on board is Ray Walston, who for a while was legislated into being in every film made, or so it seems. This MGM release comes with a decent commentary by film historian Bruce Block, a retrospective featurette on the film and a chat with Lemmon's son Chris. Recommended. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

It's sort of amazing that Ghost Hunters is still on the air. I'm not saying that because I have anything against them--you're talking to a guy who listened to Art Bell for years. I find High Weirdness terribly entertaining when done properly. I'm just asking: when you have an episode where you team with the Real Housewives of Atlanta...can the end be far off? Again, I'm just asking. Anyway, if you aren't familiar with the show, the name gave it away: these are guys who go out looking for ghosts. They never find any...not that they can scientifically prove, anyway. But that doesn't seem to be the point. The point is running around dark places with fun-looking equipment and filming lots of stuff in night vision. At least that's what I take away from it. This Blu-Ray set is from Image and has thirteen episodes across three discs. No bonus bits. If you are hardcore for the series, then okay, fine, you might want to own it...but Blu-Ray? Does this show really need hi-def? You're saving $6 by going with the DVD option, setting the per episode price point well below $1 an episode. I don't think you'd be missing all that much. Except ghosts. You'll be missing ghosts. (Click here to buy the DVD from Amazon. Click here to buy the Blu-Ray from Amazon.)

The thing about a movie called Shark Night (3D or otherwise) is that you pretty much know what you want out of the film. And it has nothing to do with how much sunlight is happening outside. It's sharks. Noshing on people. Let's face it. So...it was released to cinemas PG-13. I've said on multiple occasions, you film and release a film PG-13 and then you hit home video with the "Ooooh So Unrated Cut" where you can throw in all the boobs and blood you want. But...what's this? A non-3D Blu-Ray that's still PG-13. So instead of targeting the audience for this, Fox apparently blinked. And I don't know that this is the sort of film that's going to get a second home video release. But whatever. The setup is this: kids go out to a remote location for fun and frolic...and meet with noshification from sharks that simply Shouldn't Be There. Dun dun DUN. Anyway, you get a digital copy along with the Blu-Ray and a small smattering of features: the film boiled down to just a few minutes of kills, a trivia bit, a film shark featurette, a making-of and a little bit more. Yes, the Blu-Ray is only a few bucks more than the DVD...but unless you're a hardcore When Animals Attack aficionado...not sure you'll get the replay value you want. Check out the Amazon Instant Video. And bring alcohol. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

So The Life & Times of Tim is about exactly what the title would suggest, even though Tim's mutant power is to get himself into extremely awkward scenarios on an ongoing basis. Like the time he decided to grow a beard only to have it cause problems at the office. Or when he was tasked with helping an escape artist only to have that not work out according to plan. Or when he took some Boy Scouts out on an adventure...there's a pattern of things going wrong, in other words. You get ten episodes with two segments in each, featuring a number of guest stars including James Urbaniak, Paul F. Tompkins and Alfred Molina. This two-disc set from HBO comes with a making-of featurette and nothing else. Currently the third season is airing. The price point is around $2.25 an episode...so I would recommend sampling it before seeing it's a rental vs. a buy. As always, replay factor rears its head. Know what you're buying before you stick it on your shelf. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Tall Story hits DVD from Warner Archive and this is significant for two major reasons. One, it's yet another chance to familiarize yourself with a pre-Psycho Anthony Perkins and to see what he can do besides play a crazed taxidermist. Second, it's the screen debut of Jane Fonda. Yes, it also has Murray Hamilton and Ray Walston among the cast and that must be said. The shot is this: Perkins plays the basketball star of Custer College. Fonda plays a girl who's headed there with the specific purpose of snagging Perkins for her own. Everything's going fine but even if Perkins' character comes around to her plan...can he financially afford to get hitched? And thus hijinks ensue. Like I said, this is from the Warner Archive and that means it's getting its Region 1 DVD (legit) debut. And I suppose we deserve to throw them some kudos for releasing this here instead of waiting to make it a bonus disc-only release in a Fonda boxed set one of these days. Worth a rental for any fans of the two stars and if you find replay value there, might be worth snagging--it's a comedy and it involves sports...two things that factor heavily into replay and making it a very personal decision. (Click here to buy it from the Warner Archive.)

Because nothing says "Christmas" like a planet-shaking disaster movie, Anchor Bay brings the SyFy Original Ice Quake to Blu-Ray. A geologist's family heads out into the wilderness to investigate tremors and, since hey, it's convenient, grab a Xmas tree. However, all hell starts to break loose: avalanches, enormous chasms, and incredibly cold-ass temperatures conspire to keep them from seeing New Year's! With SyFy Originals, you're either on board or you're not. You either know what you're signing up for or, well, you change the channel. So this is only for converts, I would say. The Blu-Ray presentation is solid enough, and it's only $4 more than the DVD. Although I would recommend giving it a rental first or catching it in a repeat before buying...I don't find much replay value in these flicks, but to each their own. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

The book from TwoMorrows, AlterEgo Presents: Quality Companion touts itself as "A Celebration of the forgotten publisher of Plastic Man..." and it's true. Just like DC absorbed Charlton Comics' properties (the original publisher of Blue Beetle and others), they also snagged the Quality characters--Plastic Man, Blackhawk and the heroes that make up the Freedom Fighters. And if that was the extent of what this release brought to the table, that would be admittedly pretty cool, since TwoMorrows is no slouch when it comes to the Reference Material Department. But no, it also reprints nine stories in full color from a more innocent time when comics had titles like Smash Comics and Crack Comics. If you've ever wanted to know more about your comics history--and you do because the present day for the Big Two is mostly arse--then this would be the way to do it. Seriously, from end to end, this covers Quality Comics. Highly recommended. (Click here to buy it from TwoMorrows.)

Sid and Nancy hits Blu-Ray from MGM in a Collector's Edition setup. This is, of course, the story of Sid Vicious and his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. Vicious was played by Gary Oldman, and this is the performance that really made a lot of people sit up and take notice of him. So let's just say: Sex Pistols fan or not, punk fan or not, the film is worth watching to get early work from him and also Chloe Webb. Existing fans of the film will no doubt be aware of (and probably own) the Criterion Collection--and sadly, as is the case with out of print Criterions that have gone back to MGM...the bonus bits have stayed there. So if you can snag a used Criterion one, grab it--or if you have one, keep it. If this edition brought something else to the table in their stead, that might be one thing--but alas, we get some comments from director Alex Cox, a featurette about the real Sid and Nancy and the trailer. The hi-def upgrade will be worthwhile for hardcore fans, but there's little else to recommend someone double dipping for this. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Doors: Mr. Mojo Risin': The Story of L.A. Woman is a long title for a Blu-Ray docu that covers the creation of the album--the last The Doors recorded with Morrison. If you've seen the film--or even if you haven't--this album comes after the situation in Miami where Morrison was accused of indecently exposing himself to the audience. As a result, they couldn't tour--and things were going downhill with Morrison anyway. This is the album that brought you the title track, "Love Her Madly," and "Riders on the Storm," among others. The Eagle Rock release here talks with pretty much everybody that can still be talked to--including the other Doors--in addition to dissecting the album with one of my favorite features from this sort of thing--going through the multi-track tapes with the producer--it's worth a watch for any Doors fan. The video for this sort of thing doesn't scream hi-def--since you are seeing a lot of archival stuff which is going to look like, you know, archival stuff--but the audio is the focus for a lot of it here. And that's where the hi-def really works for you. Watch it through once and then decide on its replay/library necessity value from there. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Michael Feinstein explores classic songs in The Sinatra Legacy, out on Blu-Ray from Image. And don't be confused--as I initially was--that these are going to be all songs best known by Frank. I'm not going to point out ones that aren't--because I'm not a Sinatrologist and sure enough he'll have recorded a version of something and I'll get sworn at. But Feinstein sets out, backed by orchestra, to sing Sinatra and around Sinatra--I think that's the best way to put it. So you get "Fly Me to the Moon," "Begin the Beguine," "New York, New York" and others. The audio and video both are excellent for a hi-def release and you do a get one bonus track, a featurette on the Palladium (where the show was performed) and more. It's a total of twelve songs, which is a little over what you would pay to have them from iTunes, so it's not bad, but for the fan of such songs or Feinstein himself. Myself, I much prefer to see live concerts once and then have the music for listening to on the go--but to each their own. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

When I first saw the release Justice from BFS, for some reason I thought it was an older series. This probably has something to do with Robert Pugh, who I assumed hadn't had time to tackle this between his Doctor Who two-parter and the most excellent miniseries, The Shadow Line. But no, it was from last year: it stars Pugh as the guy heading up an innovative approach to tackling crime. This new center or "centre" of Justice "does away with wigs." Yes, the idea of not wearing wigs isn't really the innovative part--although that's a nice step in the right direction. No, instead it wants to actually solve problems instead of just mete out punishment. If you're go into this looking for a full-on crime drama like Law & Order UK or even more extreme, like Luther, it might not be your thing. If you look at it as more drama and less crime, it might work for you. All five episodes are here across two discs...and the main barrier to entry is price. You're looking at over five dollars an episode. Grab it via Netflix or the like first and make sure it's your cup of tea. No pun intended. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

A Passionate Woman is another import from the UK via BFS Entertainment. This two-parter takes place in two time periods. The first, the 50s, shows us Betty--a housewife who feels trapped between her child and her husband with little else going on. Then she meets "Craze," who she falls in love with and commences to have an affair with. With a name like that, it was sort of inevitable, I'm sure. Regardless, cut forward to the 80s and her son is getting married...and the past, never one to stay down, gets back up and could cause problems. Of note to people on this side of the pond, Billie Piper (Doctor Who) plays the younger Betty and for those few over here who are aware of it, Waking the Dead's Sue Johnston (although more will probably recognize her from Brassed Off) is the older Betty. For those who appreciate British TV drama, this might be worth a rental...but replay factor comes into my view so that few would probably want to own it. No bonus bits are included. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

On the Road With Charles Kuralt: Americana Collection gives you a collection of fifty compiled episodes of the CBS Evening News segment where Kuralt traveled America in a motor home looking for interesting people and their stories. The Travel Channel put some of the segments together to make each episode and as a result you get over seventeen hours across nine discs. Along with that is an interview with Kuralt's cameraman, Isadore Bleckman. These were previously released as three separate sets and if you have those already, there's nothing new here. However, getting them as this set will save you dough--as it appears this threefer set is the cost of two of the previous sets. One thing I will say is that the price point is a little over a dollar per episode--and something to consider is that while trying to find where this might be airing--I couldn't locate anything. So this might be your only shot at it. Definitely worth watching at least once--the array of stories alone makes it worth the price of admission. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

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Headsup: The Many Perils of Love. Oh, and Sharks.

Episode #103 for The Grey, in which our protagonist owes Liam Neeson an apology, also owes him a serious beer, and recommends we give him a new official title.

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Previous episode here.

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Wayhomer Review #103: The Grey

I know that aggressive merchandizing is standard operating procedure for media companies. How else are they going to maximize their monetizing streams. So we get flooded with T-shirts, action figures, plush toys and anything else you can slap some copyrighted imagery on. The problem is that marketers get a little...insane. It's almost like a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, where your licensed content must be every single thing available or else it is unclean. Think I'm exaggerating? I have a perfect example.

Avengers Brand cologne.

Yes, really.

JADS International, the same company that made the infamous Star Trek colognes a while back have done it again. Unfortunately. You have to wonder what's in the water at Marvel (or Disney or Darvel) licensing that made them think this was a good or even money making idea. I guess they must be hoping that clueless relatives will see this and consider it perfect for their geek nephew or grandson.

I can't speak to the quality of the aroma these colognes have (some free samples would be helpful--just saying). However, from reading their descriptions, how can any self respecting geek wear this stuff?

Here's an example from the ad copy of SMASH!, the Hulk cologne:

First off, "evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life"? Obviously, no one at Marvel read this copy and pointed out that "serene" and "passion for life" are not terms you use for the Hulk. And what's with all the woody ingredients? The only thing the Hulk and a forest have in common is the color green. And occasionally, The Hulk has been known to use entire trees as blunt instruments.

But wait, it gets better. Check out the Mark VII, the Iron Man cologne:

"... forged from the sea, the sun, the earth..." Tony Stark is a captain of industry, not a fucking hippie. And he would not wear patchouli. I doubt Tony wears any sort of scent. Anyone who have been in an elevator with someone wearing a powerful perfume or cologne can attest to how irritating it is. Now imagine that inside a powered suit of armor. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it. (Although, admittedly: mandarin? Yeah, you get a couple points for sneaking that in.)

Here's Worthy, the Thor cologne:

Wheatgrass? Ginger? Grapefruit? The God of Thunder does not smell of grapefruit. A viking warrior might eat a grapefruit. Might hurl a grapefruit as a projectile. But wear it? Also, the copy writer needs to just quit and become a romance novelist. Honestly, all this description needs is a ripped bodice.

Then there is PATRIOT, the Captain America cologne:

Let's settle this right now. If Steve Rogers wears anything, it's Old Spice. He is not going to wear something that smells like a margarita. Why are these people trying to make Captain America smell like a Mexican cocktail? Did Jose Cuervo slip them a little something under the table? And we get more of this overripe florid language like "... strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover." The only things Cap is doing with his hands is beating the shit out of Nazis, Commies, and Skrulls.

If you're interested in smelling good and want something geeky but that is also classy and sexy, go over to our favorite perfumier, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.

As to the world of colognes out there, there are plenty of brands to choose from. Just don't buy the Avengers set. They may make more. Do you want an Ant-Man cologne on your conscience?

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Avengers Cologne: Superpowerful For A Man, But Made For A Geek

Download audio file (wjustice012712.mp3)

Please note--an extra warning for this episode, in which terrible, sick jokes are made about children and taxidermy. In light of this, I would like to issue the following apology in advance:

In my rush to make a joke, I incorrectly identified Boris Karloff's last film as 1968's Targets, when as you, of course, well know--it was instead 1971's The Incredible Invasion, released after his death. My apologies for any confusion or distress this slip-up may cause.

Agenda:

Headsup: There's new Weekend Justice gear as well in the Zazzle store.

Thanks to Jon from The Unique Geek for helping us sound good.

As always, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting us use their absolutely badass song, "Promoter (of earthbound causes)" as our theme music for this.

Buy Blast Tyrant, which is where you can find "Promoter". Buy their latest album, Strange Cousins from the West. Send them love and coin.

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To download this episode directly, Your Weekend Justice #145: Will Somebody Save Somebody?, then do that thing. For the previous episode, click here.

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Your Weekend Justice #145: Will Somebody Save Somebody?

I love movies and since I get to review them, I get to see LOTS of them. It's embarrassing since I see lots of crap and really dreadful films.

I am lucky to live in a city with a good art house chain of theatres, a great film marketing company and a solid film festival that keeps me entertained for twelve days in November.

Nonetheless I never really realized how many films I saw in 2011 until it came up in conversations. Since then more people have asked me for a list of my favorite films.

To be honest, I hate the process of ranking things for a "best of." It is such a grueling process. Therefore, to avoid my own consternation (and also to keep me sane), I organized the ten films I loved this past year in alphabetical order.

I also must admit that I have not yet seen The Help or The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and therefore cannot include them in the list. There also are many great films I left off of this list after a wrenching process of elimination.

So warts and all, here they are...

The Artist

I think this is the best film of the year. There are a few reasons for this. First, it is the quintessential film about why early Hollywood was so interesting. Second, it brings the golden age of silent film to life while capturing the paranoia of the onset of talkies. Third, the acting is really good. Even the American bit players like James Cromwell and John Goodman are great. The chemistry between Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo (who have worked together before) is perfect. Dujardin's debonair performance is reminiscent of Valentino or Douglas Fairbanks while Bejo smolders and smiles her way through the film as a starlet on the rise. The Artist also tells the sort of rags to riches story that Hollywood used to do well and affixes it with the "big comeback" subplot that audiences also love. Finally, The Artist is a bold film. It completely ignores conventional wisdom that silent films are not interesting. It also bucks the system in how it was made. It's basically a throwback film in production, style and execution.

The film also brings back the dance number in a big way, something that hasn't been seen in awhile. The Artist is a composite of everything that is great about going to the movies. It's also glamorous and graceful and elegant with just a smidgen of attitude. All of this is topped off with a great dog that steals the show. It's a refreshing change from what films have become in the last decade. It is simply dynamite.

The Descendants

It's hard to imagine George Clooney suffering in Hawaii but that's exactly what is going on here. He plays Matt King, a lawyer who must decide the fate of 25,000 acres of pristine land that his family owns in Hawaii. The title on their land expires soon and they want to cash in. King is torn in two directions: the community wants the land saved and his family who want to take the money grab from a buyer who wants the land in order to make a resort. To make things worse, his wife is in a coma following a boating accident. But the pivotal plot point comes as he tries to reconcile things with his oldest daughter, who reveals a secret that drives the rest of the film.

George Clooney does a great job of moving back and letting his co-stars do their thing. He is the star of the film but this is not his usual turn: the character of Matt King is a departure for him as an actor. He plays a man completely surrounded by sadness, deception and loneliness. In the film Clooney partners with Shailene Woodley who plays as his gritty eldest daughter. Woodley is an actress on the rise who goes toe to toe with Clooney in the film, giving some tense scenes more flavor with her gumption.

The cinematography is beautiful and it is ironic to have a story set in paradise amongst so much drama. The Descendants never gets preachy or self-indulgent which also works to its advantage. Instead it peppers the production with some moments of comedic irony that elevate the picture, saving it from the doldrums it could easily fall into. Co-written by Community's Jim Rash, it's the best drama of the year. It works so well because it takes all these awkward and strange moments and turns them into powerful moments of cinema.

Drive

2011 is the year that Ryan Gosling arrived. His turns in Drive and Ides of March as well as the comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love--and all this put him on the A list for actors. Here, Gosling does a lot by saying little. He plays a Hollywood stunt driver who makes some scratch on the side by being the driver for various heists. A hit gets put on him when one of his jobs goes wrong. This culminates in a race against time and some awesome and inventive car chases.

The opening scene of this film is pretty incredible. It's not a fast and furious kind of car chase but it is really clever. Another great thing about Drive is Albert Brooks. He should have been nominated for an Oscar for his role as Bernie Rose, a gangster who is scarier then most seen recently on the silver screen. Carey Mulligan plays Gosling's neighbor, Irene, a single mom who struggles to make ends meet. The romance between her and Gosling's character unfolds in a very interesting way and is not typical of most of the mush Hollywood puts in films these days.

This is a cerebral film and Gosling layers his character with different personalities to great effect. The surrounding cast helps anchor the film in fine fashion. Mulligan is given some range to work with and she uses it to deliver an edgier performance then we are used to from her. Drive got a buzz coming out of the gate with rave reviews at Sundance and other festivals. When it opened, it capitalized on positive word of mouth to gain momentum. It's not an action film per se but it slowly percolates into one as the conflicts in the film deepen, creating the smartest and bloodiest caper film of the year.

Hugo

Hugo is a complete 180 for Martin Scorsese as a director. There are no gunfights or swear-filled monologues. But there are moments of amazing tenderness and nostalgia that seem almost unheard of for him as a director. This is a great movie about making movies. Like The Artist, it waxes nostalgic for the glory days of early cinema when directors got creative in developing this new art form. Ben Kingsley is incredible and Sacha Baron Cohen sheds his over the top zaniness in favor of a tender and more traditional role. One of the reasons why Hugo works on an emotional level is because Cohen is really good. Asa Butterfield breaks out, holding his own again highly decorated actors more then twice his age.

The film also tugs on nostalgia in all the right ways. It's a wonderful and inspiring work. I had forgotten that films with this kind of creative spark and originality could still be made. The eleven Oscar nominations are no slouch. Hugo is a visual feast with special effects that don't look stupid and a feature acting that brings the magic of the novel to the big screen. The sets capture the sprit of Paris in the 1930s adding an even more sumptuous layer to the film.

Like other films on this list it's great to watch both visually and technically. It's well crafted, well acted and devoid of the overt seriousness that sometimes haunts Scorsese films. The best thing Hugo has going for it is this: it make you feel the joy of watching movies again. It captures the sense of wonder and awe that movies gave us in our childhood and then coats it with a well-acted story that plays the nostalgia card to the hilt. It is an utterly refreshing slice of multiplex incredibleness and nothing short of magical.

Midnight In Paris

I am not a fan of Woody Allen or Owen Wilson. However this film manages to let both of them charm you seemingly without effort. Anyone who has ever had dreams or toiled as a writer can appreciate what Wilson's character goes through trying to get his creative juices going. Corey Stoll is great as Hemingway. Kathy Bates steals the film as Gertrude Stein and Adrien Brody's hilarious Dali rules the day. This is a film where a combination of things comes together to make it work. It has a great cast, it recalls the magic of Americans in Paris in the 20s and of course it has the beauty of Paris as eye candy.

This film stretches your imagination and draws you into its time shifting worlds. Despite being dialogue-driven this big screen drama has a life of its own. For Francophiles and Woody Allen diehards it is a must see. For the average movie buff it is a fun little romp.

Moneyball

The best thing you can say about Moneyball is that people who knew nothing about baseball loved it. Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt and Philip Seymour Hoffman are great in it. I am a baseball fan and the plight of the Oakland A's is not an easy one to describe to nonfans. However this film boils it all down and makes an enjoyable film in the process. Pitt is great in a different role for him and his on-screen work with Jonah Hill is terrific. Hill is excellent in a different role for him. This is another great ensemble film that strikes a tone with viewers through a wonderfully adapted script.

My Week With Marilyn

There is so much to love about this film. Michelle Williams is fantastic; Kenneth Branagh is, well Kenneth Branagh and Dominic Cooper continues to do solid work on screen. When Marilyn Monroe went to England in 1956 to make a film with Olivier, most people in the industry knew it was a recipe for disaster. This film brings that collision of icons with wit, tension, humor and razzle-dazzle. The six months Williams took immersing herself with Marilyn has paid off with the best performance of her career. Simon Curtis' subtle directing is perfect.

It is a shame it took mainstream audiences so long to discover Williams' talent. She's been in loads of great films and in every one she stands out. This is the film that will make her a bonafide star and reward her for a solid career in indie films.

A Separation

It may surprise a lot of people but Iran has an incredible film heritage. Iranian films of the last decade have been critically acclaimed for their powerful statements which conflict sharply with the political climate they are created in. Contemporary Iranian films are heavy on gorgeous cinematography and an overwhelming sense of harshness--whether it be from the weather, religious persecution, gender roles or in the case of A Separation, how to handle the difficult decision of leaving an oppressive nation for freedom or to stay in Iran and care for a parent who has Alzheimer's.

This is a film filled with powerful decisions about caring for parents, improving the life of a child, and hoping for individual freedom while tolerating oppression. These decisions may seem simple to us in the West. But in Iran they are complex issues that involve a great deal of misery and personal risk. The backbone of the film is Peyman Moadi as Nader and Leila Hatami as Samin, a mother and wife who displays incredible courage as the movie unfolds. The two leads propel the film and work well together. This is a difficult film to watch at times but it pays off in bringing to light the plight of the people living in contemporary Iran. A Separation is the best foreign language film I saw all year. It is finally getting wider circulation and critical praise.

Submarine

Submarine was a greatly overlooked film of 2011. This Ben Stiller-produced film played the art circus for about a month and then vanished. This is too bad because it really was a clever film. Set in 1986 Swansea, this coming of age film, directed by Richard Ayoade (IT Crowd) is based on Joe Dunthorne's novel. It's a tale of all the things that go into any good coming of age film: love, loss, hope, hate and being an outsider. The protagonist is a fifteen-year-old lad named Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) who lives in a weird world of delusion where he believes that he is a much-loved genius destined for greatness.

In fact he's a pretentious kid who is on the outside of the 'cool kids.' His alienation is shaken when he meets Jordana (The Sarah Jane Adventures' Yasmin Paige). Jordana is wily and sneaky. She uses Oliver's affection for her to her advantage, manipulating Oliver to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. Pre-teen angst ensues, they kiss and suddenly they are boyfriend and girlfriend for real. Things are great before the big plot twist hits--Oliver's weird life goes wonky when he believes his mother is having an affair with the neighbor next door.

Oliver self-narrates the film, and completely misses what is really happening in his life. His own self-absorption is his downfall and nearly ruins his family life. This self-narration serves as a great plot device. It sums up the loneliness and isolation Oliver feels but never really confronts until he meets Jordana. It also is serves as the ignition for some of the film's most comedic and touching flourishes. Both Roberts and Paige shine as the leads in the film. Paddy Considine is great as a weird new age folksy neighbor who has eyes for Oliver's mom (Sally Hawkins). This strange subplot provides enough quirkiness to give the film some lighter moments to counter balance Oliver's over seriousness.

Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys composed the soundtrack for the film, which adeptly wraps the drama onscreen. Submarine is a fidgety film. It has everything you want in a good coming on age film. Yet it goes off the formula by throwing in some interesting and unexpected subplots. Ayoade's direction never overreaches its boundaries. Instead it gently pushes the story along without hurrying it, which means that the ensemble is allowed to give an emotionally charged presentation free of sugar and artificial flavoring.

Unfortunately while Submarine had a great run at several film festivals it never really got a push from the studio stateside. This is tragic because it was one of the most sincere romantic dramas of the year. Make it a point to see it.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Okay. How do you re-imagine a great John Le Carre novel that was turned into a great series of films with Alec Guinness? Simple, you get one amazing cast and get Gary Oldman to act his ass off by not appearing to be acting at all. Then you surround him with a who's who list of great talent. Colin Firth, John Hurt, Kathy Burke and Benedict Cumberbatch (in a role that was made famous by Michael Jayston) are all equally amazing in this film. Toby Jones is brilliantly cold and calculating and Mark Strong breaks out into some more serious drama.

This is a very smart film. You don't need to read the book to follow the cold war shenanigans of hunting a mole in the UK spy network. But you do need to pay attention to the dialogue and mannerisms of the characters. Oldman is terrific in a performance unlike any he has given before. He dials everything down, giving Smiley a more devious and cunning aspect to his character. To appreciate the film you almost have to see it on two levels: the first being an intense and great film and the second being an acting lesson from the best British ensemble of the last half-decade. These guys all show up and school people on what acting and compelling storytelling is all about.

In conclusion I will add that I liked Super 8, Thor and Captain America. I think Rango was underappreciated and I wish more people saw Tyrannosaur, Take Shelter and The Guard. I think that Meryl Streep was amazing in The Iron Lady and Glenn Close was equally brilliant in Albert Nobbs. I also wish Cowboys & Aliens and Green Lantern were not so crappy.

Overall it was not too shabby of a year for movies. I wish I could have seen more.

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The Curmudgeon: Looking Back At My 10 Favorite Movies of 2011

As we were stumbling around Atlanta, finding various and sundry establishments that served High Road Craft Ice Cream...we found one that offered this. And how can you not try "Gin and Juice Sorbet?" So we tried it...and it was okay. It had become a bit too frozen--or something--and was more like eating flavored ice than sorbet. Granted, it was tasty ice...but not what we had signed up for.

One of the benefits of showing up at the High Road Compound to interview head icecreamologist Chef Keith...is you get to buy the stuff direct from the source. And we snagged some of this...because we knew it had to be better than just okay. And this is one of the flavors available via Dean & DeLuca...and they don't generally screw around. So.

Let me admit something to you: I know very little about the actual alcoholic cocktail known as "gin and juice," apart from the fact that the recipe is pretty much in the name. And yes, there's a song about it. In my relatively brief time back among the drinking population, it's just never come up on the todo list. But I can tell you this: the actual drink itself cannot possibly taste as good as this sorbet. Because if it did, then the majority of the population would be drunk off their asses on it 24/7. No lie. Because what this sorbet tastes like is...well, juice.

So it taunts you with, "Hey, buddy...I'm good for you. Honest. Juice is in my name, right? That means I have to be good for you. I think there's a law on the books that says that. Somewhere. And hey...don't you hate scurvy? Whoa, what a coincidence: I hate scurvy too! Let's team up and fight sobriety--I mean scurvy. I meant to say scurvy."

In other words, it's freaking delicious. The only thing that keeps one from just sitting around all day and experimenting on how much of this sorbet it takes to get drunk is that it's rich enough to where a few spoonfuls could do you. The ingredients? Pretty straightforward: fresh orange juice, invert sugar, gin, fresh lime juice and salt. That's it. It seems like such a simple recipe that I'd like to try it in a straight up drink form...but again, I need to get some work done, so on the other hand...I don't want to know. Some things are just better off unknown.

If you can snag this--whether it's from Dean & DeLuca or from them directly...do so. It's stupidly good. Just eat it responsibly.

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Gin and Juice Sorbet by High Road Craft Ice Cream - Review

So a quick headsup here that the current Threadless clearance--tees starting at $9--ends tomorrow morning at 11am Eastern Time. And surprisingly, there's still a bunch of excellent ones left in stock.

Some quick pointers for shirts we recommend follow. The cute coffee-related "I Was Here" by Dina Prasetyawan is something that we would be remiss if we didn't mention it, for obvious reasons. There's also the classic-for-a-reason/perennial "Pillow Fight" by Fiona Lee. And the relatively recent pirate meets dog "Reburied Treasure" by David Soames and Nathan W. Pyle. Don't worry if you don't get it immediately. Ensure you've looked at the back.

And, admittedly, the "Adopt a Direwolf" design we have posted there by Sean A. Husbands isn't on sale...but it's just so goddamn cute, what can you do?

As always, we urge you to consider impending birthdays and other occasions when it would be nice to snag something for $9. Just saying. Find the selection of sale items here. Enjoy.

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Last Call For Current Threadless Clearance

Each week we like to lead off with something that makes your head spin around. A little disorientation, our researchers have found, helps with the ability to make it through the work week relatively intact.

So The Daily What states this is a Keyboard Cat video directed by David Lynch. I'll take it one further--this is the lost demo reel for The Tom & Jerry Movie, directed by Lynch. At the end of the film, because they have been so mean to each other and so wantonly destructive of property, they are condemned to an entire of being the backing band for a bad Slim Pickens impersonator who sings for an audience of damned children.

P.S. I'd like to also point out that the first video that comes up on YouTube for me after watching this is of an exorcism. YouTube...it's smarter than you think it is.

We wanted to ask an expert what he thought the video was to represent. His response is here.

Cat terror found at The Daily What via Coilhouse.

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Your Monday Morning Mental Sorbet: David Lynch Presents The Tom & Jerry Movie

Not everybody enjoyed Contagion...as a straightforward outbreak drama (not a "thriller," mind you), it may not have been what everyone was expecting. But I enjoyed the ensemble cast and the near-factual-without-going-mocu touch to the whole thing. The shot is this: Gwyneth Paltrow's character comes home from a trip sick with a superbug--she's one of the first casualties in what becomes a worldwide pandemic. (No spoilers...it's in the damn trailer.) If anything it's troubling in how it's probably accurate as to how the world would react. Sadly, the Blu-Ray release looks and sounds pretty damn good but beyond that has little to offer: a real-world featurette about the situation as its stands for dealing with pandemics, another brief look at the real world people who consulted for the film and a small PSA. Anything would have been better--especially a commentary from Soderbergh and/or putting the experts on there talking about how things would have been better/worse in real life. If this is supposed to get people talking, which it seems to have been. Worth a watch, but not worth owning with so little in the way of bonus-ness. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Mildred Pierce is the HBO miniseries that walked away with five Emmys (including one for Kate Winslet, playing the titular role), based on the 1941 novel that was previously filmed with Joan Crawford as a feature. The twist here is that...if you've read the novel, there is no twist. They've tried to adhere completely and faithfully to the original book. The gist is thus: Winslet as Pierce, gets away from her cheating husband and tries to raise her two children and make ends meet on her own as a single mother while not losing her supposed middle class station in life. All this while trying to deal with her eldest daughter (older version played by Evan Rachel Wood), who is a complete and total bitch. The five-hour miniseries comes here from HBO on Blu-Ray and DVD in one package and has bonus bits as well: two audio commentaries, an "Inside the Episode" featurette focusing on each one in turn and then a making-of. As for the hi-def treatment, the audio and video quality are excellent, but this isn't a make-sure for Blu-Ray ownership. That being said, the DVD version is only $5 cheaper. What I would say for potential owners is: replay value. Watch it first--because whether or not you want this on your shelf is probably going to have to do with the performances of the two leads and your reaction to them. Myself, I would think a rental and a watch-through would be enough--worth doing, but enough. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Primeval's third volume hits and the initial response is...confusion. Because this is Volume 3 not Series 3 (which previously hit DVD in Vol. 2--the first two series were in Vol. 1) and the first one to hit hi-def. Got all that? Would have been just bloody easier to call it the Complete Fourth and Fifth Series, right? Right. Anyway, this has the show being revived after its cancellation and picking up where it left off with a new setup and direction and characters (not to spoil anything if you're not following the show, but eventually the loose ends get a bit tied up). The shot is a team in Britain that's trying to deal with rips in time that allow Bad Things from other eras to arrive and try to eat you. Which is never a good day at the office. And in hi-def any seams that you find will be forgivable--beyond that, it looks pretty damn good--considering it's British TV SF, and anyone worth knowing knows that it's come a long way. So be happy. Thirteen episodes are presented here across four discs. There is a small bit of bonus-ness: episode prequel webisodes and a making-of for the new series. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

You know most times you see a show or a book or a something and when confronted with the premise you think, "Damn, why didn't I think of that?" You would be a very rare person indeed if you can say that when checking out the Adult Swim show Delocated!, which has its first two seasons here on DVD. (The third season starts next month.) The shot is this: "Jon" divulged some information that got him in trouble with the Russian mafia, sending he and his family into witness protection. However, he then accepted a deal for his family to star in a reality TV show about their lives--which they do wearing ski masks and having their voices surgically altered to protect their identities. Throughout the various insane shenanigans "Jon" has to deal with divorce, family, making ends meet--and oh, yeah, the Russian mob still wants him dead. If the premise alone drew you in--and you're normally a fan of Adult Swim's mental fare--this is worth checking out. The set does have deleted scenes, outtakes, the demo reel that was used to pitch the show, and commentaries. So the fan of the show will find it worthwhile to pick up. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Let's talk demographics for a moment. I'm not that much into sports. If you want to talk to me about American football, you need to remind me--about every five minutes--that it's not the one with the puck. I'm also not one to completely dig a movie that sets up a football team with the name "Blue Cocks" for reasons you can see coming a mile off. That's not to say I can't enjoy a football comedy: one of my favorite sports movies ever is Wildcats. This is not Wildcats. No, this is lowbrow comedy starring Andy Dick as a terrible choice to coach a Division III football team--and he either succeeds or the entire football program gets shut down. And considering his claim to fame as a coach is almost murdering an entire Pee Wee football team...well, yeah. This Blu-Ray hits from Image and looks pretty good--bonus bits include outtakes, deleted scenes, and an audio commentary with stars/co-writers Andy Dick and Marshall Cook. If you enjoy sports comedies of this sort, then this is probably worth a watch...but you'd need to be an Andy Dick completist, IMO, to want to purchase. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

The trouble with Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays the protagonist at the center of I Don't Know How She Does It is that really, she's in a film called "I Don't Know Why We Should Give a Shit." (And I have no real problem with Parker, who for me will always be the ditzy girl from L.A. Story.) So you're well-to-do and busy and because you feel driven, you are sacrificing your family for such things. You and your husband don't seem to have enough time to do all the things you want to do. Man, that's rough. Which leads me to wonder--who is this film for? Is it for any woman out there to say, "Man, at least I'm not her?" I have no idea. Regardless, if you've seen the trailer--or even if you haven't--my synopsis more than explains what's what with the film. If Parker shedding tears because she botched something about one of her kids works for you...then go for it. It doesn't exactly scream for hi-def treatment but if you want this, then it's only $3 more for the Blu-Ray. The one bonus bit is a discussion with Allison Pearson, who wrote the original novel. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

What's this? Ray Charles? I already like it. Live Ray Charles? Brilliant. Live Ray Charles from 1961? Excellent! Never before seen live Ray Charles? Holy crap, yes! And that's what we have from Ray Charles: Live in France 1961. His first ever live European shows, from July 18-22, 1961 give us twenty-five tracks--almost two hours--with Ray and the Raeletts and his badass backing band. You get tracks like "What'd I Say," "Sticks and Stones" and "Georgia on my Mind." And yes, don't panic if you see that the songs are played multiple times--this is Ray Charles. Every performance is something unique and special. I'm a big fan of anything that preserves music for posterity and any fan of Ray will feel the same. The fan will definitely want to own. This is out from Eagle Rock...no bonus bits besides the extra tracks that I counted above...but really, the whole thing's a bonus. So I say yes. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

The Love We Make tells the story of how America reacted to the tragedy of 9/11 and it does so through an unlikely focus: Sir Paul McCartney. Paul was in a plane on the runway ready to go when the attacks happened over a decade ago. Wanting to do something to help, he decided to put together a benefit concert--that quickly turned into a much larger benefit concert. The story of him prepping for the show is what serves as the "excuse" to get a docu crew (the same crew that covered the Beatles all those years ago) to follow him around, but it's in Paul talking to "regular people" and celebrities alike that we get a snapshot of what the general feeling was like here at the time--and all this without becoming a depressing film that is hard to watch. Instead, it documents the respectful way in which one performer tried to do something to help--and who came along for the ride. This is out from Eagle Rock on an excellent hi-def release (with a great transfer of the black and white original (with some color bits at the end) with no bonus bits. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

I'm probably not in the demographic for A Darker Reality, in which a serial killer played by Daniel Baldwin--who's got eight-five kills to his name, "The Ghost,"--has women locked in a basement and proceeds to torture them, while the authorities seem helpless to stop him. Did I say "undue"? Yes. I appear to have done that. If you are in the demographic for it, you might want to check out this Phase 4 release...but be worried if it's the sort of thing you care to own. Bonus features include a trailer and deleted scenes. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Again, we seem to have a plethora of people who haven't watched enough horror movies. So that's why a couple and the girl's sister go out to a place in the middle of nowhere, along with a new beau the sister's just picked up. And then they allow a bloodied stranger into their midst. Oh, did I mention there's a serial killer on the loose in the area? A serial killer by the name of The Tree Surgeon? I'm torn between thinking we're really running out of serial killer names and... "Wasn't that a Flash villain?" Anyway, this slasher flick, Don't Let Him In is a rental if you're thick in the genre and want to catch something somewhat different from across the pond. (In fact, the Region 2 Blu-Ray seems to give "The Hollow" as an alternate title--makes me wonder if they changed the name to make it a bit more Let the Right One In/Let Me In-sounding.) But I can't see it having replay factor for even the hardcore, despite having a decent array of bonus bits: an audio commentary, behind the scenes featurette and a making-of. It's out on DVD from Anchor Bay. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Gurozuka answers the prayers of anyone who says, "Man, we haven't had a good J-Horror flick featuring a creepy mask in ages!" It also, again, features a lot of characters who obviously haven't seen enough horror films, of the J-variety or otherwise. A movie club of teenage girls go to a locale and intend to shoot a short film. It's a short film based on actual events that happened at said locale. To members of the same club. One of which wound up missing and one of which wound up insane. At what point would you have gotten the hell out? Anyway, you do have a creepy mask, you have a series of disappearances and murders and things just proceed from there. This Synapse release brings the 2005 film to the U.S. for the first time and it comes with a trailer and a making-of. While not the strongest J-horror film out there, if you're a completist in the genre, you'll want to give it a watch. But probably best to start off with it as a rental. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

We have a pair of Midsomer Murders releases...Set 18 contains three feature-length episodes, which comprise the back half of the twelfth series from 2009/2010. Whew. Did you get all that? Watch for guest stars like Jenny Agutter and Rik Mayall in the episode "The Creeper" as well as David Ryall in "Small Mercies." As we've outlined before, the thing about the show is that it's the Brit Law & Order...not in the way the front of the box probably implies but in that every actor alive has pretty much been in one. And they are well crafted, capable little mysteries for fans of the genre. This DVD set from Acorn Media comes with an interview with lead Barnaby's partner--Jason Hughes. As for Barnaby's Top 10, it's one of the smartest for-the-fan releases around...in that star John Nettles has recently exited the show, but he introduces his ten favorite episodes and gives some background on each. Now...the intros are the only new item here--if you're a hardcore fan of the show and own them on DVD, you're not going to find anything new. I would go this way: if you want an intro to the show itself, this is a great sampler plate. But if you go the hardcore route, you'll want to rent this and then buy the sets by themselves. But smart play by Acorn Media for creating this. (Click here to buy Set 18 from Amazon. Click here to buy the Top 10 set from Amazon.)

Dolphin Tale is exactly what you think it is: a feel-good family film about an animal in need and a young human also in need who desperately wants to save said animal. And through the animal, the good in mankind. Or society. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. The film is there to do its thing and you can either go with it or not. If you're a kid, though, it would melt your uncalloused heart. I'm just saying. Synopsis then: Winter is a dolphin with no tail who is basically going to be toast without one. However, a young boy convinces a prosthetics expert to make Winter a new tail. And things progress from there. This Blu-ray comes with the DVD as well...and ordinarily a family film wouldn't scream hi-def for me, but the water sequences look great in hi-def and it might be worth springing the extra cash for it. Bonus bits are sadly light, however: a featurette on the opening sequence, a small piece about the real Winter, a behind-the-scenes bit, a gag reel and more. If you have a kid, they might want to snag this. And you could do worse, so no worries. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

It occurs to me that you never see a feel-good story about teens and say, foosball. But regardless, Vivendi brings the feel-good faith-based TV movie A Mile in His Shoes to DVD. This stars Dean Cain as a minor league baseball coach who stumbles upon an amazing new pitcher. The trouble is, this amazing new pitcher has Asperger's and his family isn't sure about him getting out to play baseball. And if you can't figure out where things are going from there, then I don't know what to tell you. The DVD comes with a making-of, a trailer, and a Thomas Kinkade painting gallery...because this is a Thomas Kinkade Presents Production. If my description thus far sounds right up your alley--or in your strike zone or some other sports-related pun that I don't actually understand--then it might be worth a rental. However, even the best feel-good sports movies I can't watch more than once, so YMMV. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

Sinners and Saints wears its intentions on its sleeve. Well, case. "A city under siege, a man with nothing lose." If that invokes a craving for Gritty Cop Drama (GCD), then you might be happy with this as a rental. The shot is this: Cop #1 has lost his son, his wife and more recently his partner (the first and third of those being fatal). So he's not doing well. He's got himself a new partner and a new series of crimes to investigate. But because this is a GCD, things are never as simple as "just a new series of crimes." Things go deep and get dark and get nasty. The film was obviously shot on a reasonably small budget, but as long as you go in with your expectations set--and enjoy the bumps on the ride as part of the ride--it might be worth renting. Bonus bits include a short behind the scenes featurette and some deleted scenes. Also: Method Man's creepy makeup job. Just damn. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

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Headsup: Nothing Spreads Like Fear...Except Dinosaurs and the Midsomer County Homicide Rate

Episode #102 for Haywire, in which our protagonist writes Gina Carano and her compatriots a pass, advises you of a better Soderbergh-helmed action movie to see instead, and postulates about actors and their fetish for getting beaten up.

Direct link for the feedreaders. Downloadable iPod version here.

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Special thanks to PhantomV48 for the closing animation.

Previous episode here.

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Wayhomer Review #102: Haywire

Download audio file (wjustice012012.mp3)

Agenda:

Headsup: There's new Weekend Justice gear as well in the Zazzle store.

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Your Weekend Justice #144: Cumberbitches, Just For the Hits

I first caught word of this when Wired published this as their "Most Dangerous Object in the Office" back in December. And it must have been a slow month for them, since they've had all manner of insane stuff on their desks there. But more on that in a moment. As someone for whom caffeine intoxication is a fond memory, I am always on the lookout for new and interesting ways of consuming caffeine. So yes, I requested some and here we are.

The shot, no pun intended, is this: AeroShots come in individual packages that look like lip balm or lipstick, as advertised. You pull one out, pop it open, stick one end of it in your mouth and "puff in"/inhale the contents. You then get an energy boost that "dissolves in the mouth and is absorbed instantly through the digestive tract, not the lungs." When we're trying to review an "energy product," there are a number of arenas in which they can win: taste, boost, price and, if all else fails, novelty. Let's try to tackle them one by one.

After I tried this--well, tried two--one right after the other--I wondered if I was the only one having the rather violent repulsed reaction that I did, so I went and found videos of people trying this for the first time. There are several online to choose from. Here's a safety tip--the only safety tip I have for this supposedly dangerous object--careful where you pop it open. Some of the dry contents may sprinkle out--and if you have a dog--or any other sort of animal that will eat anything and shouldn't have caffeine--you want to do this over a sink or somewhere else. I wound up wearing some of it before I even got started. When you puff in through your mouth, basically what happens is an amount of dry powder hits your tongue. This powder, sweetened with Stevia, is supposedly lime-flavored but tastes more like ground-up lime-flavored plastic. This is probably due to the bitterness that comes with caffeine, which they didn't really mask very well. So as far as taste goes, it's pretty godawful.

That being said, if you've been around long enough, you know me: I don't give a damn how something tastes if it delivers the goods. And yes, I did get a pretty immediate boost. However, it's not the boost they're describing, at least from what I can tell. Caffeine takes twenty to thirty minutes to start to work in your system--again, not a doctor nor do I play one on TV--but my understanding is your body takes time to process the caffeine and let it do its thing--hence the effectiveness of caffeine naps. You can't get caffeine to hit you immediately. It just doesn't work. No, the boost I felt was my body violently reacting with a "What The Hell Did You Just Ingest?" response...and the videos I've seen, a lot of people have that same reaction. It's similar to the one time I tried a puff from a cigarette to see what all the fuss was about: yes, my body got a huge hit--but it was of the adrenal-rush-oh-my-God-lungs-dying variety and nothing else. But back to the AeroShot: thirty minutes later, I was tired again. After two full doses of these things.

So from my standpoint, it fails on the boost level. But again, let's be realistic for a second and discuss reviewer biological bias: I realize that I have the caffeine tolerance of the entire country of Norway combined. This is known. And while they are correct in that one of these things contains the caffeine of a good cup of coffee (100mg)...that's just 100mg. Please bear in mind that whether you take the thing in one big puff or not, the entire AeroShot is only 100mg according to the Supplement Facts on the back. (And yes, there's 100% of your Vitamins B6, B12 and Niacin as well, but I've never been able to associate B Vitamins with any substantial boosting sort of effect personally, so let's leave that there.) And yes, for many people 100mg of caffeine might do the trick. So let's say the boost works for you despite the wretched flavor--let's take a look at the cost.

If the equivalent of a cup of coffee--100mg--will do you...why wouldn't you just have a cup of coffee? Okay, you don't like coffee: what about a caffeinated mint? A caffeinated mint with the same amount of caffeine will run you around a U.S. quarter each. Twenty-five cents. So you don't like mints? How about good old fashioned NoDoz? Hell, if you get a generic version of NoDoz, it's $2 for eighty 200mg pills! As for the AeroShot? $2.99 each. So if boost is what you're after and the price isn't right then when it comes right down to it, what you have is...simply novel.

Yes, from a novelty perspective, it delivers the goods. I cannot deny the AeroShot people that. The design for the product is great. The packaging is great. The press pack they sent out was positively swank. But for the purchaser, after the novelty wears off, you realize you've spent ten times the cost of a caffeinated mint for a product that's only "breathable" in that you breathe in to get it out of the packaging. And when you do that, the end result is...powder falls in your mouth. And if it were awesome powder--if it were the caffeinated equivalent of Fun Dip, say--that might be one thing. But, sadly, it's not. For true energy fiends that just want to have a go at it, it's worth trying. But for anybody who just wants to stay awake, I'm sorry, it's not financially feasible to spend $3 for something that a generic caffeine pill could get you twice the effective dose of for about three cents. Without the atrocious taste.

P.S. Dear politicians who are concerned that this is indeed dangerous when kids get a hold of it and want to make it into a party thing: You're idiots. You're the same morons who want to prohibit selling really nice scotch online because illegal age kids will supposedly drink it. I have never known anyone under the age of twenty-one who would have the money to blow on a bottle of 18-year-old Macallan, much less bored enough to go to the trouble of buying it online and getting someone of age to sign for it. Have you ever known an underage drinker who plans that far ahead? Seriously. No. That kid will find some way of getting cheap beer or whisky somewhere nearer to his house. They can't be arsed. Same thing with this: if a kid wants to mix caffeine and alcohol, they're going to do it. And they are not going to spend $3 on a product like this to do so. Unless you are caffeine sensitive, it costs way too much money to hit dangerous levels of caffeine on this product. So come off it.

P.P.S. That all being said: caffeine is a drug, people. Know your limits with this or any other caffeine product and do NOT push it. You are ultimately responsible for what you ingest. Always err on the side of "Screw it, I'll just go take a nap." Not kidding. Be careful out there.

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AeroShot Pure Energy - Review

Just a headsup: if you're a Kindle owner, I've dropped the price of my novel, Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point, to $.99. And Magnificent Desolation, my collection of short stories, was already $.99. However, here's the other fun bit: I've signed both books up for the Kindle Owners' Lending Library, which you get free with Amazon Prime. So you can digitally "borrow" the books to read for free.

Mystics I would classify as a piece of "straight fiction" (not in the sexual orientation sense) that's a coming of age novel for people who really hate coming of age novels. And Magnificent Desolation is a collection of short stories that I would classify as "dark fantasy" without having anywhere else to put them. For an example of a story, I read "Adelaide" for 32 Days this past year.

If you're not a Kindle owner, you can fix that here. I welcome and encourage all feedback on my stuff. Thanks for your kind attention.

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An Update For You Kindle Owners