Look, advertising and marketing didn’t start to fall out of favor with the public because it’s not good business.  It’s falling out of favor because most of it is terrible.  And sometimes, there’s no bigger stage for a demonstration of the best and worst-case scenarios than SuperBowl Sunday.

THE COOL NEWS

Our panel has expanded, and now includes Kathy Buckworth, best-selling author, corporate marketing veteran, and now the person who has the ear of some of North America’s biggest corporations when they want to learn how to market to women.  It also includes Mike McCurlie, founder of MJM Productions in Hamilton, and creator of some of the catchiest, most memorable and most effective jingles in broadcasting today (people who live in Ontario still love the work he did for Sleeman Breweries).

They join Larry MacInnis and Michael Kryton – two of the most decorated and celebrated ad men in Canadian history – along with Mark Kaplowe, whose studios nestled in the woods just outside Manhattan crank out more automobile advertising than any other source in North America.

Oh yeah, and Seth Godin’s in there, too.  Wait ’til you hear what he told me the other day about Super Bowl advertising.

The website for the book is here (if you click that link, it’ll open in a new window).  We’ll have plenty of videos for you to watch, and reviews and commentary from some the smartest advertising and marketing people I know.

My first book.

Officially went on sale on Amazon a little over an hour ago.  (If you click on the cover graphic, a new window will open where you can buy it if you want to, but that’s not what this post is about.)

Yes, it’s an amazing feeling.  Yes, I still look at it (even though proofs have been in my house for weeks now) and get kind of a rush.  And yes, I’m psyched about getting out to meet people who want to talk about it, and celebrate its release with me.  (Click here if you want to learn more about that, although again, not what this post is about.)

If you and I know each other, or you read this blog regularly, you probably already know why I’m a mess today.  It bears repeating, even though it’s really tough to type it out.  And I’ll make it quick, ‘cuz I’ve never really been much for wallowing.

A few days before Christmas 2010, I lost my Mom, in circumstances that are still far too raw to talk about.  And I’m left with this really odd combination of sad and angry.  I’m angry because she only got to see the missteps and the mulligans in my life.  She has missed the best year of my existence.  Career.  Love.  Life.  It has all finally come to the place she always prayed for.  And I didn’t get things together in time for her to see it.

I know what many will say to me, that from the “better place” she ended up, she’s been given a front row seat to watch it all, and I believe that – I truly do.

But on days like this, I want to be able to pick up the phone and celebrate with her.  I want to share the tears of joy with her that she’d feel on those seemingly rare occasions in my life where I got something right.  I want to call her up with news that would make her proud – and this past year, I’ve been blessed enough to have a lot of that kind of news.  There have even been times where I’ve almost caught myself about to start an email, or make a phone call.

But I can’t.  That’s where the “sad” comes in.  Poor Tatiana has been wonderful through what I can only imagine has been a confusing time; she had to deal this year with dozens of things that should have given me cause to celebrate and dance with joy, but that started with sadness instead.

And that’s the part that’s making me a mess today.

Sure, I’ll celebrate the day; but while my Mom may get a front row seat, I look into the front row that I can see from here on Earth and see a very empty chair.

I miss you, Mom.  And I’ve set aside a copy of the book for you.  (I hear shipping to where you are can be cost-prohibitive anyway.)

The book has a Facebook page, and its own website as well.  Those will serve as an ongoing Second Edition.  So my intention is to never release a new version of the book, or a Part II, but to use the website as the home to every chapter I come up with that didn’t make it into the book before I sent it to the printer.

To that end, it would make sense for an advertising book that talks about the Super Bowl, to have some kind of commentary on Super Bowl advertising.

It’s with that in mind that I excitedly tell you about my panel of Monday Morning Quarterbacks.  Commentary on the Super Bowl commercials from people who actually know stuff about marketing and advertising.  The panel includes Larry MacInnis (Creative Director for CHUM Radio in Toronto), Mike Kryton (Creative Director, AXE Productions in Edmonton), Mark Kaplowe (owner of Kaplowe Studios in Connecticut and the most familiar voice in North American car dealer advertising), and oh yeah… Seth Godin has a thing or two to say as well.

That’s a partial list, and I’m recruiting other members along the way.  We’ll tell you what ads worked, what ads sucked, and you get the bonus of knowing that the people sharing their opinions with you have serious street cred.  (Larry and Mike are among two of the most decorated and celebrated ad men in Canadian history.)

Our Monday Morning Quarterbacks weigh in on – surprise – Monday, February 6th.  You’ll find their comments and be able to join the conversation at whatwasthatnumberagain.com.

First, it’s official: My first book hits Amazon on February 1, and some other outlets as well (which I’ll announce later).  It’s called “‘What Was That Number Again?’ Crimes Against Advertising, and How to Prevent Them”, and hopefully it comes in handy for anyone who’s ever had to write an ad for anything.

The book has its own website, whatwasthatnumberagain.com, and even a Facebook page you can go “Like” if you want.  Both locations will have consistently updated content.  I’ve decided that rather than ever put out a second edition, I’ll just keep adding content and writing new chapters on the website.  (That includes something extra cool that happens on the site on February 6th.)

Second, I was honored to be invited aboard the Charles Adler Show this week, nationally syndicated on 14 radio stations in Canada.  On the show, we talked about the piece I wrote for Sympatico about the “incident” at the school in Florida where the Sheriff was called in after a girl gave a boy a peck on the cheek on the school playground.

If you missed it, here’s the audio:

It’s an annual cycle, one that never seems to change.

Why do we put that kind of pressure on ourselves?  Why do we decide sometime in December that “next year is going to be different,” and then hold off on making important changes until January 1, making sure we have enough time to build up expectations and the likelihood of failure?

A couple of thoughts on this…

First of all, I’m not sure why people make resolutions in the first place.  If you decide on December the 10th that losing weight is important to you, it’s beyond me why you would start doing something about it on January 1 when you’ve got the chance – and the momentum – to start by December 11th.  If it’s worth doing at all, it’s worth doing today, isn’t it?

If the pressure of “launching” whatever your new effort is on January 1 doesn’t crush it under its own weight, then surely the pressure of making an annual change will.  Seriously?  You’re going to go to the gym every day for the next year?  What happens when you miss a day because of an injury or an illness?  Now the whole year is shot.  What if you resolved to be a nicer, more tolerant driver and find someone completely worthy of “the finger” on January 4th?

People look at making annual resolutions that start on January 1 because there’s a sense of turning a page.  My suggestion: Get a desk calendar that has a new page for each day, and make daily resolutions instead of yearly ones.  If you have an annual resolution to go to the gym three times a week and you fall off the wagon, your resolution is broken.  If you resolve to go to the gym tomorrow and you fail, you get another chance the following day; you can renegotiate the deal you made with yourself and have an actual shot at success.

Don’t resolve to eat better in 2012, because subconsciously your year goes down the toilet with your very first cheeseburger.  Instead, resolve to eat better today.  Once you’ve accomplished that, make the same resolution for tomorrow.

Granted, daily goals are way smaller than annual ones.  But I can virtually guarantee you that daily goals will keep you in the game longer, and will increase your chances of having a year full of achievements you’re proud of.  If it’s true that climbing a mountain requires a first step, it’s surely easier to focus on the step than on the mountain.

If we were truly committed to saving lives, and it was actually important to us, we’d be taking more serious steps to do something about it.

Imagine what would happen if all cars had one of those breathalyzer locks on the ignition – the kind that won’t allow you to start the car if your blood alcohol level is above a certain point.  The technology obviously exists, and the units cost about as much to install as a driver’s-side airbag.  Privacy advocates would no doubt scream in opposition, and the market would complain about what a pain it is.

…sorry to inconvenience you.

Imagine what would happen if a single drunk-driving offense carried an automatic license suspension of ten years, with a repeat offense resulting in a lifelong driving ban; and imagine if a person caught driving with a license suspended for drunk driving were given an automatic ten-year jail sentence.

…but hey, wouldn’t want to keep you “business” people from getting loaded with your corporate Platinum cards (that get paid for with the shareholders’ money).  Forcing you to behave responsibly might impact your ability to close that big deal.

Imagine what would happen if a car manufacturer instituted a policy in their contracts where a single drunk driving conviction meant you had to give the car back.  No replacement provided, you simply forfeit the right to drive that manufacturer’s car, and you couldn’t buy a car from that automaker again.  Imagine if Ford said, “You’re not the kind of person we want driving our cars.”  It would carry the implied message that every person behind the wheel of a Ford was simply a more responsible driver, and on some level, a better human being.  Personally, I’d pay a premium to be a member of that club.

Look, people are going to continue to get behind the wheel after too many drinks.  It’s human nature to occasionally behave like a completely reckless, careless, selfish, ignorant piece of scum.  (Apparently.)  And so, people are going to continue to mark Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s by attending funerals.

One in three people will be involved in an alcohol-related crash during their lifetime.  And according to the Centers for Disease Control, the average drunk driver has driven drunk 80 times before the first time they get busted.  (That’s eighty, as in eight times ten, in case you thought it was a typo.)

To really do something about it is going to take courage.

I wonder when the public, the Government or the auto industry is finally going to summon the courage to say “enough” in a way that actually matters.

~

STORY:  Justin Trudeau calls Environment Minister Peter Kent “a piece of sh*t” on the floor of Canada’s House Of Commons during Question Period.

First, my position on this issue has nothing to do with an exchange that Justin and I had on Twitter (and on this blog) back in March of this year, or with the fact that he still owes me the beverages he promised.  I’ve been in broadcasting since 1981 (Justin was 10).  Never once in those 31 years did I curse on the air.  Were there subjects I was passionate about?  You could say that.  After all, I was in the middle of reading a live weather forecast for my area – an hour or so outside of Manhattan – when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a second plane hit a second tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.  I didn’t curse in that moment, simply because one doesn’t curse on the air.  And if I could be restrained in that moment, Justin Trudeau could certainly have avoided leaping to his feet and having “piece of sh*t” immortalized in Canada’s meeting minutes for all eternity.  Please don’t let anyone give you any excuse other than it being a carefully orchestrated piece of Trudeau Theatre.  It was, I might add, executed brilliantly, including the mock apology afterward.  If you know anything about Justin Trudeau you have a very strong hunch that he fully intended to use that word, fully intended for the media firestorm afterward, and milked it for everything it was worth.

Come on, Justin.  Most Canadians view “Question Period” as a room full of angry monkeys flinging feces at each other as it is – we don’t need you to try and make the analogy more real.

I think that’s a point that needs to be made as well, because I think it escapes most Canadian politicians.  I know that during “Question Period”, you folks think you’re earning your pay and showing Canadians how hard you’re working in holding the other side’s feet to the fire.  The truth is that “Question Period” is the time when you disappoint us the most, and when most of us realize our emperors have no clothes.  It’s when we realize we elected a room full of people we thought were going to look out for us, who then get to Ottawa and essentially turn the Government into a day care.

~

STORY:  Just two weeks after a media frenzy over having a search and rescue helicopter pick him up from a fishing vacation to take him to a photo op, Canada’s Defence Minister Peter MacKay is under fire for ringing up a hotel bill that averaged $1452 per night during a conference, in a hotel where his staff had rooms that cost less than $300 per night.

I have trouble with this story because as I said a couple of weeks ago when “Choppergate” happened, I’m a MacKay fan.  But what this story has done has removed any credibility that Canada’s federal government will ever have in being able to question corporate executives about lavish spending.  If Peter MacKay can pay $1452 a night for a hotel room, then Fred’s Garage can write off a $34,000 kitchen makeover for the break room.  If Peter MacKay can have a military helicopter serve as a personal taxi to take him from photo op to photo op, I can write off a stretch limousine to take me to Grand & Toy for a box of paper clips.

Mister MacKay, $1452 a night is what Charlie Sheen pays for a hotel room.  And that’s AFTER he’s trashed it and had to pay for the repairs.

Know why Canadians don’t get particularly upset about these stories?  Because it’s just the latest chapter in our belief that Government exists to screw the little guy.  They steal our money (although they call it taxation), and then waste our money on things that we could never afford for ourselves.  And it’s become such an accepted part of the way things are done that individual incidents of abuse don’t really add much to the overall size of the pile.

News flash for many in Ottawa:  YOU.  WORK.  FOR.  US.  Not the other way ’round.  Every penny you spend is OUR MONEY.  It’s NOT yours.  You can NOT use it as you please.  When we get angry with you for having wasted it on something stupid, remember that it is, in fact, a reprimand from your employer, and take it as a warning that you’d better not make the same mistake a second time.

~

STORY: Former NHL player Mike Milbury is alleged to have walked out onto the ice during a youth hockey game in Massachusetts and in his role as Assistant Coach of his son’s team, roughed up a 12 year-old boy from the opposing team who’d been in an altercation with his son, and threatened him.

During his playing career in the NHL, Mike Milbury was never known for having the sharpest skates on the ice, if you know what I mean.  If you want to look up the defining moment of Milbury’s career, you won’t see video of him scoring the goal that won his team a Stanley Cup, or making the play that won his country a gold medal at the Olympics; you’ll see him climbing into the stands to beat up a fan.  To paraphrase my old friend and Yuk Yuk’s comedian Jim McAleese, Mike Milbury was the kind of player who would be awarded a penalty shot and dump the puck in the corner.

If I’m a parent of a kid in that league, I’m demanding a restraining order that Mike Milbury not be permitted near a sports facility of any kind until he’s completed some kind of anger management or counseling program, and that’s at a minimum.

Related articles

• Justin Trudeau hurls obscenity at Peter Kent in Commons (thestar.com)
• Mike Milbury Charged With Assaulting 12-Year-Old Hockey Player [UPDATE] [Mike Milbury] (deadspin.com)

I found it amusing that many of my friends in both social channels and legacy media who were giving Trudeau a pass, were the ones who had criticized US VP Dick Cheney years earlier, for pulling Senator Patrick Leahy aside on the Senate floor and telling him privately to go do something to himself that is likely physically impossible.

I’ve always been kind of fond of Justin Trudeau; in fact, we had a fun exchange back in March.  And for the record, he still owes me the beverages.

Here’s Chapter One

Here’s Chapter Two (which has little to do with Justin and more to do with those supporting his position)

(I’m posting this because I wanted to offer context for my December 17th appearance on CTV News Channel discussing the issue.)

Related articles

• Uproar after Justin Trudeau hurls four-letter obscenity at Peter Kent in House of Commons (news.nationalpost.com)
• How Justin Trudeau’s four-letter obscenity marked new low in Commons’ behaviour (news.nationalpost.com)

Alastair Sim (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

If you read nothing else in this post before you click “Play”, read this: As an actor, I make a helluva deejay.

It was 1998 when the idea first struck me: Create a one-hour version of the Dickens classic, “A Christmas Carol“, to be done as an old-school radio drama, that took listeners back to the days of The Shadow and War Of The Worlds; so I took Dickens’ original text, the Alistair Sim version of the film, a script produced by WABC in the early 1970′s, and my own love for the story, and came up with my own version.

I recreated this script with new actors every year as I moved from radio station to radio station all over North America.  In fact, Christmas 2011 will be the first time in a LONG time that a version of this play hasn’t run somewhere.

But it’s running here.

The version below was created in 2010 by the on-air people and the office staff of CJOT-FM in Ottawa, Ontario.  Thanks to the whims of an impatient industry, the station goes by a different name now than when we produced this a year ago, but many of the voices you hear are still at the station.

Our narrator is legendary Canadian TV personality Max Keeping, and that’s yours truly butchering the role of Scrooge.

Hope you enjoy it.

If you’d rather download the file for later listening (it’s an hour long, and a 57MB download), right-click here and select “Save Link As..”

In case you didn’t click the link, the idea was simple – in the drive-thru at the coffee shop, pay for the coffee of the person behind you.  (Which I guess technically means you’re paying it backward, but whatever.)  Once you’re done, mention something on social media (probably Twitter or Facebook) with the hashtag #PIFF.

Ignoring that #PIFF is also used as a hashtag by people smoking a particular strain of marijuana (putting the ‘hash’ back in ‘hashtag’), I hoped we could at least dominate that particular tag for one day out of the week; in theory, people would see the hashtag, ask what it was about, and it would spread.

It was hardly an original idea; this was just my stamp on it.  Now, someone smarter than me has taken it a step further.  (That’s a link to a great idea from Mallory Brown, CEO from World Clothes Line.)

Who knows?  Maybe we do have a movement after all.